


Small World After All

by neojedigoddess



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: 9/11 was Hydra, Avengers Family, Clintasha - Freeform, Commandos are family, Criminal Minds BAU cameo, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Dum Dum had a baby brother, F/M, Hydra Has Their Dirty Hands in Everything, Lightsabers, Minor Character Death, Peggy as an adoptive mom, Phil Coulson Has the Patience of a Saint, Romance, Steve Rogers Feels, Strike Team Delta, Tony Stark Has A Heart, mutants exist in MY MCU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2018-05-13 17:39:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 58
Words: 179,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5711209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neojedigoddess/pseuds/neojedigoddess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an effort to help Steve, Natasha sends him to California to sit in on a college class taught by a former SHIELD operative to give him "perspective". He's surprised to discover the professor is the niece of his old friend and Howling Commando, Dum Dum Dugan. From that fateful meeting Steve discovers that he's not quite alone as he thought he was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This begins in late August 2015 after the fall of SHIELD in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Age of Ultron never happened and mutants exist.Thor: The Dark World has not happened. It leads into the second season of Agents of SHIELD but deviates after the midseason finale. Hawkeye doesn't have a secret family and Tony did NOT get his arc reactor removed at the end of Iron Man 3. Pepper was not cured of Extremis (don't worry, she's fine) I made a guess at Dum Dum's age and made it work for me. Hydra has their hands in everything and Victor Von Doom is a punk. The BAU of Criminal Minds exist in this universe. Coulson has previously revealed to the Avengers he's alive.

Steve Rogers, at the ripe age of 97 had accomplished many things in his life. He'd gone from a skinny sickly kid from Brooklyn to Captain America. He'd fought Nazis and their even more evil counterparts, Hydra. He'd nearly sacrificed his own life to save NY, thinking as the plane plunged toward the Arctic Ocean that even though he'd never get to that date with Peggy, at least Hydra was defeated.

 

He'd been wrong about many things in his life too. He hadn't died like he thought he would and apparently many other assumed. He went from seeing nothing but white and hearing Peggy's voice to that fake SHIELD room and then a very different New York City. He went from 1945 to 2011 in the blink of an eye. He hadn't defeated Hydra but forced them to hide and go underground like the snakes they were. He had never thought of anything like aliens but they were real. Thor and Loki and the Chitari. He didn't see Howard Stark as the kind of man to settle down, but he had and his son was very much like him in many ways he would never admit. He'd thought Bucky had died when he fell from the train. He'd thought Agent Coulson had been killed by Loki.

 

He'd been forced to help destroy SHIELD in order to defeat the plans of the Hydra agents within it. With Natasha's actions, there were no more secrets, even for her. Every agent was exposed, both sides. Many people had died because of that exposure. Now they were trying to rebuild SHIELD from the ground up with the Avengers as the core. Coulson had a hard road ahead of him and Steve was trying to help as much as he could. But, his public persona didn't exactly help when it came to secrecy. Apparently he had an entire line of merchandise dedicated to him.

 

As much of a trained assassin as she was, Natasha was also quite good at reading him on particular and had confronted him about his guilt in helping to destroy SHIELD and feelings that no matter how hard he fought, evil remained. She'd encouraged him to take a trip to California to a college class taught by a friend of hers, a former SHIELD agent who had left active service to become a professor. Apparently her specialty was history and historical profiling with a focus on the Civil War and World War 2. It went without saying that she was probably an expert on the history of SHIELD. Natasha thought it might give him some perspective, to see things from a different point of view rather than just his own.

 

Walking around the campus, he felt more nervous and awkward that he had since before he'd been made a supersoldier. He'd fought Nazis and aliens but had never gone to college. Would they be able to tell? He'd worked on his attempt to blend in, Natasha emphasizing that just a flannel and hat wouldn't be enough in a world with so much media. With some effort, his body language was much more relaxed and a pair of fake glasses helped. He felt naked without his shield but had managed to leave it behind since it wouldn't exactly fit in his backpack.

 

He made his way to the class, triple checking that he was in the right room and took a seat toward the back. If this friend of Natasha was a history expert and a former SHIELD operative, then there was the chance she would recognize him. Hell, with the internet, there was a chance a few of these kids would recognize him. He hoped they wouldn't.

 

The class filled up quickly and went quiet as a petite woman took to the small dais that the auditorium of seats near surrounded that included a large desk and lectern, a white board behind her. She was dressed rather casually in a pair of fitted jeans and a loose flowing top and already he assumed that she wasn't the kind of person to waste time on appearances when they didn't matter. From her coloring, he wondered if she was Native American, having learned the term Indian could be considered offensive, like everything else these days. He wondered if she'd worn her hair that long as an agent. She seemed athletic, no doubt habits from SHIELD were hard to break, there was no slouching, no wasted movement.

 

A moment of preparation and she moved forward, looking up at the class. Now he could see why she didn't waste time on looks, she didn't need to. She was beautiful in a real natural way, not the over made up look that seemed to be popular now. Thanks to the serum, even from the back he could see her shockingly bright blue eyes that somehow seemed familiar. He was also familiar with the fact that she was scanning the room for threats. He'd seen that same look on Natasha's face. No doubt it had been seen on his. Some habits you never broke.

 

“Good morning. My name is Dr. Holly Dugan and this is History of World War 2 European Theater.” A breath. “Before I go into the syllabus for this extended class, how many of you are here because I was involved with the agency known as SHIELD?”

 

Steve was impressed with how controlled and almost bored she was with the question. There was no denying or hiding for her. Of course, her last name was Dugan, was she related to Dum Dum? He'd decided not to look her up before going to the class. No preconceived notions that way. It would be a strange coincidence if she wasn't. The class was silent.

 

“Come on, I know at least a few of you, gave up a few more weeks of your break, to see the real life spy. Of course you'd be wrong. I don't like the term spy, it makes it sound like what SHIELD did was something to be ashamed of. It wasn't. SHIELD protected and saved many lives and many nations, all behind the scenes. I was mostly an undercover operative and technically even though SHIELD is currently considered non-existent, I still am an operative. I consult from time to time. Yes, it is true what you read online about me. Mostly. Yes, my family helped start SHIELD. Yes, I have 3 black belts. Yes I am an expert in sword fighting. Yes, I have killed people.”

 

She let that sink in before she took another step forward and then stood at parade rest, hands behind her back, eyes looking over the students. Had her SHIELD training included time in the military? The look on her face as she looked over the students made him think of the day he met Peggy. Strange. “If you are in this class thinking that I will entertain you with stories of political intrigue and violence, please drop this class because you will fail. Stay and I promise you that you will earn your grade through the hardest work you've done at this University. I do not accept excuses or whining. You are here to learn and I will make sure of that, fair warning. Now I'll entertain a few questions so we can get them out of the way.”

 

Hands shot up. Dr Dugan pointed to a girl who stood up. “Dr. Dugan, is it true you are related to a member of the Howling Commandos? The team Captain America fought with in World War 2?”

 

“Yes, it's true. My uncle was Timothy Dum Dum Dugan.” With that, she flicked her wrist and a screen appeared from nowhere though there was a slight glow from something on her wrist. Interesting. She had access to technology that looked like Stark created it. He couldn't help but smile at the picture that was on the screen. There they were, like it was yesterday. The picture had been taken by Peggy around 1944. He was in the center, in fatigues, his arms around Bucky on his left and Dum Dum on his right, wearing his bowler as always. It was strange to think that life seemed simpler then, even right in the middle of a world war.

 

Dr. Dugan pointed to Dum Dum. “I was barely 10 when my uncle passed but he told me many stories about his adventures as a Howling Commando and of course of Captain America who he only ever referred to as Captain Rogers. In this class we will discuss the impact of Captain America on the war and on our national history. But it is important to remember that all the people we discuss, including Captain America were living breathing people. And of course, I mean that in the current sense for Captain Rogers. I will not accept any disrespect for these heroes, alive or dead.”

 

Steve felt his heart break a little, even though he had known Dum Dum had passed around 1990 at the ripe age of 80. He'd vaguely known about a younger brother who was a few years younger than Steve was, fighting in the Pacific. This young woman was his daughter? He would have been well into his fifties when she was born. Then again, he was 97 and looked almost 30, so he guessed he couldn't talk. He was curious as to how he would be discussed. Since there were no secrets anymore, was everything up for discussion? Coulson had briefly mentioned that he was in history books, he'd just never looked to see what was said. Part of him was afraid to look. Would they just focus on him and forget everyone else or would they make him out to be some kind of cartoon gimmick? He appreciated that Dr. Dugan made the distinction between himself and the man with the shield.

 

Another student stood to ask a question. “Do you know Captain America and the other Avengers?”

 

With another flourish of her hand, the screen expanded to several, each with footage of an Avenger during the Battle of New York. A few of the students cheered. He adjusted his cap and slunk down in his seat a bit, really hoping not to be recognized. He had been amazed that the battle had been so well documented thanks to nearly everyone having a cell phone and taking video even in the midst of an alien invasion. That was New York for you.

 

“I know a few of them, actually.” A flick and the screen showing Iron Man footage took the foreground. “Iron Man aka Tony Stark. His father, along with others including my uncle and father was one of the founding members of SHIELD. He was involved with the Manhattan Project as well as the Super Soldier program that led to Captain Rogers becoming Captain America. My brother referred to him as Uncle Howard, much to his chagrin.” Another flick of the wrist showed Howard in his ever popular tuxedo with a grin on this face. “Tony and my brother grew up together and I've known Tony since I was little.” She moved her wrist and the footage and picture of Howard were replaced with a picture of a young Tony Stark and a young man who bore a striking resemblance not only to his sister, but to his uncle. Another image showed young Tony with a big grin on his face as he held the hands of a toddler in a yellow dress trying to walk. A few of the girls in the class commented on the cuteness of the picture.

 

Steve couldn't help but smile. This was a side of Tony he was sure few saw except maybe Pepper or Jarvis. It was strange Tony never mentioned his childhood friend or that little girl he was obviously enamored with. He never took him as a man good with children. Then again, from what he'd learned of Stark before the incident in Afghanistan that gave him the reactor in his chest, it was even more remarkable. What happened between this picture and that day in Afghanistan?

 

She flicked her wrist again and a screen showing Natasha and Hawkeye fighting took the forefront. Natasha doing a backflip onto a Chitari soldier and frying him with her Widow Bite while Barton took out the two on either side with a single arrow that split in two. “Black Widow and Hawkeye I know quite well, since I was a teenager and I'm sure you've read about them online. The three of us worked together often.”

 

A voice spoke up from the other side of the lecture hall. “But do you know Cap?”

 

A wave of her hand and the screens disappeared. She seemed as comfortable with the technology as Stark was. If she'd known him since she was little, perhaps she'd grown up with Stark technology as well. “No, I haven't met Captain Rogers. I was very happy when I heard that he had indeed miraculously survived from crashing that Hydra attack jet, but I haven't met him. One last question.”

 

“What made you leave SHIELD? Did you know any Hydra agents?”

 

Steve could see a minute flinch. This wasn't something she wanted to discuss. “I left active SHIELD duty roughly a year after September 11th which we now know was caused by Hydra agents within the Taliban. Yes, I later found out that a few people I had considered friends had been Hydra agents. Yes, last semester there was an attempt on my life by a Hydra sleeper cell on campus. They failed in their task. That's all I will say.”

\-----

 

Steve knew he wanted to speak to Dr. Dugan but didn't know quite how to approach her. He'd been quick to leave the class when it was dismissed, preferring not to meet her so publicly. He made use of the computer in the library, something he was glad he'd been able to learn, he found she was also involved in a university dedication ceremony for a new World War 2 memorial that would be debuted in a few weeks. One good think about his public image is that it made people more aware of all of those who'd sacrificed during the war. Apparently Dr. Dugan had been a driving force in having the memorial created as well as raising money yearly to benefit veterans of all wars.

 

Again, he'd sat in the back of the theater, in a dark corner as he watched the students very accurately recreate the musical number he was very familiar with. It felt like both yesterday and years since he'd heard anyone singing “The Star Spangled Man”. He wondered if somehow they had watched newsreel or something because it was eerie how exact it was. Granted everyone was in street or gym clothes but that didn't matter. His artist mind was seeing it just as he was sure it would be in a few weeks.

 

He was impressed as he noted Dr. Dugan directing the singers, belting out the song along with them, going back and forth, waving her hands for emphasis. She had an impressive ability to project.

 

_He'll finish what we began!_

_He'll kick those Krauts to Japan!_

_The Star Spangled Man with a plan!_

 

He quietly sat as the rehearsal broke up, Dr. Dugan reminding the singers and dancers that the next rehearsal would include a run through with costumes and staging. It took a few minutes for nearly everyone to leave. Dr. Dugan packed her bag and headed up the aisle toward the door, faintly humming the song under her breath. He was about to get up and say hello when suddenly there was a gun in her hand aimed directly at him.

 

“I don't know who you are or why you waited for everyone to leave but if you think I didn't know you were there, you are wrong. And if you think I'm an easy mark, you've made your very last mistake . I'll give you one chance to walk out of here breathing. Identify yourself, now.”

 

He stood slowly, hands out. “I'm sorry ma'am. I'm not a threat.” He moved into the light, approving at how she still had her gun pointed. “Captain Steve Rogers, ma'am.” He paused, remembering that he'd been told that simply identifying himself wouldn't be enough with the technology out there to make anyone look like anyone. “Natasha said to tell you that Hawkeye still thinks your codename should be Hot Lips.”

 

There was a pause and then she lowered her gun and chuckled. “Clint is such an ass, I swear.” She put the gun's safety back on and tucked it behind her. He realized then that she had a back holster underneath her loose flowing top. Clever. She moved forward and met him as he reached the end of the aisle, holding out her hand. “Captain, sir, I'm very sorry I pointed a gun at you. You have no idea how embarrassed I am. It's a real honor to meet you.”

 

He shook hands with the woman who was just as petite as Natasha and apparently just as dangerous. Her eyes stood out despite the poor lighting and he could see that she must have gotten the Dugan eyes and the rest from her mother. Personality, well, at the moment he could hear Dum Dum crying with laughter about his niece pulling a gun on him.“Please, Dr. Dugan, call me Steve. No need for formality. I'd have been disappointed if you weren't on your guard.”

 

“Okay Steve, but you have to call me Holly.”

 

He nodded. “Holly then. I enjoyed the rehearsal, hope you didn't mind me watching. Brought back many memories.”

 

“Did we do it justice?” She sounded hopeful.

 

“Very much so. I'd almost wonder if you'd been there. How did you get every detail so accurate?”

 

“Lots of research and thankfully access to SHIELD copies of film copies of performances and interviewing some of the Capettes.” She waved to the stage. “I've arranged a few performances over the years to raise money for veterans. It still does just as well now in inspiration as it did back in 1943.” She had a proud look in her eye and it was well deserved. “It's been a lot of hard work just the same. It'd be great if you could come to the performance. Just as an audience member, of course.”

 

“Your work has really paid off. And barring an alien invasion or crime wave, I'd be happy to attend.”

 

She nodded, pleased. “What brings you to California, Steve? I can't imagine it's to check out my class.” She was very direct and to the point, as one would expect a former SHIELD agent to be. “Is everything alright with Nat and Clint? I'd assume that if something was wrong, you wouldn't have sat through the rehearsal.”

 

“They are both fine. Actually Natasha encouraged me to fly out and attend one of your classes. To give me perspective I guess.”

 

Holly tilted her head and then spoke a moment later. “I think I understand. Third to last row, fourth seat in?”

 

Steve blinked. He wasn't entirely sure but he wouldn't doubt she'd just named his exact seat in her lecture. “How?”

 

“Photographic memory and SHIELD training.” She paused. “Though I'm embarrassed that I didn't immediately recognize you.”

 

“I think you were more concerned with assessing the room for threats. And not having any expectation that I would be there. I'm assuming you have a way to scan for weapons?”

 

She nodded. “It's a habit that you never get rid of. It comes in handy, given most men underestimate me for being a woman and especially since everything with those Hydra snakes lately. Tony gave me some tech that alerts me if anything that could be a potential weapon comes into the lecture hall. That is, anything majorly dangerous. It's not hard to figure out what student would be most likely to carry a gun or have reason to. And of course he has Jarvis do background checks since SHIELD capabilities are very limited as they rebuild.” She waved her hand dismissively. “I don't ask him to do it but he claims my brother would want him to keep an eye on his honorary little sister agent or whatever.”

 

Steve leaned against one of the seats. “I thought Stark didn't know about SHIELD until after he created the Iron Man armor?” He searched his memory for what he knew about the billionaire. “He knew his father had played a part in the Supersoldier program but didn't know until recently about his part in beginning SHIELD.”

 

Holly nodded, sitting on the arm of a seat on the other side of the narrow aisle. “That's right. He was not very happy when he found out, believe me.” Her eyes dropped to her clasped hands against her crossed legs. Steve could only imagine what the somewhat mercurial billionaire's reaction had been. “Tony has major trust issues to begin with and it was a bit tense for a while. But he's come to grips with it now and strangely seems more protective of me.”

 

“I'm sorry, it's just he's never mentioned you.”

 

“No, he wouldn't. Since everything with Iron Man, he thinks it's better if less people knew that there was someone he cared about out there. If they don't know about me, they can't target me to get to him. Despite the fact that there are no doubt people out there who would use him to get to me, but he doesn't see it that way. Always the pseudo-big brother.”

 

“Was he different when you were little? He's very...” Steve waved his hand, at a loss for words to describe Stark. He didn't want to say something insulting by accident. He wasn't completely sure of their relationship or how close they were.

 

“Obnoxious? Egotistical?” Holly laughed. “Actually, he's always treated me different than most everyone else except maybe Pepper, Happy or Rhodey. He hasn't had it easy, even with the money and the fame. He has a tendency to overcompensate. His father wasn't much of a father to him, my father was more nurturing to him than Howard ever was. But again, I'm sure he's never mentioned my father or my brother, Eddie to you either. He's still mourning them.”

 

“I'm sorry, I didn't know. Were they killed during SHIELD's fall or the Battle of New York? I'd assumed the fight didn't leave Manhattan or know any local agents were in the fight.”

 

She raised an eyebrow. “You can tell I'm a native New Yorker?”

 

He nodded. “I'm a Brooklyn guy. I can hear the Queens accent.”

 

She shrugged. “I guess the girl can leave New York, but the New York doesn't leave the girl.”

 

That made him think about something she'd said in her class, about leaving active duty after September 11th. He remembered being horrified when he watched the footage of the attack and intensely angry later when he learned of the connection to Hydra. “Oh no. They were killed in the terrorist attack?”

 

She stiffened almost imperceptibly and nodded. “Yes. My father had been off active duty for years when it happened but when the first plane hit, he joined my brother and other SHIELD agents who were called to help.” She swallowed, looking away toward the stage. “I didn't find out till a few months ago that the order for them to go in was from a Hydra agent. We lost 30 agents because of that order. Which I guess was what those Hydra bastards wanted.”

 

“I'm very sorry for your loss. It sounds like he was great man. I remember Dum Dum talking about his brother a few times, worrying about him in the Pacific. He said that as soon as we were done with Hydra and the Nazis, we'd head over there and help out. He always referred to him as Baby Liam.”

 

Holly looked back to him with a smile. “Yeah, that was Uncle Dum Dum for sure. I was just a kid when he passed but you should know that he always talked about you and he was convinced that you weren't killed when you crashed the plane. He never gave up on believing you were alive. Just like Howard or Aunt Peggy.”

 

He was startled. “You know Peggy?”

 

Holly looked at him like he grew another head. “Of course I do. I've known her my entire life. She was in the room when I was born. She's the only mother I've ever known.” She paused to explain. “My mother had been a SHIELD agent and was killed by a KGB agent when I was very small, just before I turned 2. Ironically, the agent had been one of the ones that had trained Natasha as the Black Widow. And Natasha ended up killing the bitch years later. Peggy stepped in to help my father who knew nothing about raising a little girl.”

 

Steve shook his head. “Just when I thought the world had gotten bigger when I was in the ice, it seems to get smaller with everything you say.”

 

Holly shrugged. “Guess that's a sign of a good history professor. Make everything relatable.”

 

“Have you had issues with the fall of SHIELD? With your identity public, has there been any threats? You mentioned a Hydra sleeper cell?”

 

“A few, though I never really hid my identity. When everything went down, I was enroute to Washington to protect Peggy. Her resident community is really an old folks home for SHIELD agents and thankfully, Fury staffed it only with people he trusted.” The relief was clear on her face. “But after the information was released to the internet, well, it gave me a fair bit of unwanted attention, partly because my family helped start the whole thing. I took care of it. Tony made sure that my house is as safe as Fort Knox and even offered to create a specialized Jarvis controlled Iron Man suit to act as a bodyguard. Hell, he flew here in the suit right after the information leaked of an attack but arrived after the cell failed. But I was practically born into SHIELD. I began self defense practically before I could walk. I'm fine there.”

 

“Is that why you left?”

 

She nodded. “Partly. When Dad and Eddie died, I realized that I didn't want to die and have lived my life in complete secrecy. I was tired of constantly feeling like I was living in a minefield. One misstep and I'm dead or one misstep and others die. I wanted to live for myself.”

 

“You could have just been an analyst.”

 

“I couldn't send someone out to do a mission without sharing the risk. It's not how I was raised. I help where I can, but it's pretty much on a consultant basis.”

 

Steve nodded. “I understand.”

 

Holly smiled. “Yeah, Uncle Dum Dum always told us how stubborn you were about getting into the army before you were in the Super Soldier program. How many false identities did you create?”

 

He rolled his eyes at her teasing, remembering how Bucky had teased him for being so desperate to join that he claimed he was from Jersey. “Enough. I wanted to do my part.”

 

“Something about not liking bullies, right?”

 

“That's right.” He rubbed at the back of his neck. “I know we just met, but it's nice to talk to someone who isn't screaming about how much they love Captain America or is trying to kill me. You know about the war, not many people really do anymore, it seems. Would you care to get a coffee or something?” Inside he was cringing at how awkward he sounded.

 

Holly gave him a brilliant smile and he could definitely see the Dugan mischief in her eyes. She was definitely going to be trouble that he would look forward to. “That would make my century, Captain.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes in Chapter 1  
  
Tony POV**  
  
“So this was your idea? To have him come out here to meet Holly?” Coulson asked Red as they sat in a van of all things out in the parking lot of a diner, watching Capsicle and Holly talking inside. He couldn't believe people owned things like this. No style, nothing. He doubted it could even get above 60 without the engine straining. It had a tape deck. TAPE. Did Ferrari make a van?

 

“It was only a matter of time. And with finding out Barnes is alive, he needs a distraction from being in his own head. He can talk about the past with her and she'll understand better than most of us what the hell he's talking about.”

 

“That's true. I'm curious as to her reaction finally meeting him. Hard to believe it took this long.”

 

“It's not like there has been that much downtime for him since he got thawed.”

 

“Point.”

 

Tony move up quickly, his eyes locked on the diner. “Is....he's holding her hand! Hey! That's like second base for an old fart like him! And in public! Has the man no decency? I fully blame you, Red. You corrupted America.”

 

He ranted until he got exactly what he wanted. Frustration from his favorite former Agent turned Director and the very slightest smile from his former fake assistant. He knew he amused Natasha, or Natalie as he first knew her. He appreciated her complete honesty on most things though to be honest, she scared him a bit and he knew she enjoyed that. It was a fine balance.

 

“She held his hand first, Mr. Stark.” Coulson said with a sigh. Tony loved frustrating the man, even more after they found out he wasn't quite dead anymore. His excuse? Had to make up for lost time. “She brought up Sergeant Barnes' reappearance.”

 

“How do you know that?” They watched as the discussion apparently went to Holly being a mutant, something Tony knew she'd never keep from Steve Rogers of all people as she effortlessly floated both his coffee cup and coffee. Rogers, for his credit, seemed impressed but didn't react strongly in either direction. Though it wasn't exactly unexpected.

 

“I can read lips.” The man said with another sigh.

 

They watched for a few more minutes as Holly told Capsicle something that had him looking rather amazed but a bit creeped. It was strange to see her looking so familiar with him. They'd just met and here they were talking like old friends. But part of that had to be her SHIELD training, right?

 

“Are we about ready to go in?” Coulson touched the earpiece he seemed to live to wear. “May, let's send in the newer agents to clear out the restaurant. Why don't you two go in...”

 

Tony was already halfway out of the van and heading toward the door. No time like the present. And besides, the tacky interior to the van was making his skin crawl. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Author notes in Chapter 1  
  
  
Holly's POV**  
Seated across from him in the [diner booth](http://neojedigoddess.deviantart.com/art/Small-World-After-All-Captain-America-OFC-ch-3-583882779#), Holly still couldn't believe she was seated across from the man she'd been told stories about all her life. Unlike other people who'd vaguely known about his actions in World War 2 or more recently during the Battle of New York, he'd always seemed familiar to her thanks to those stories and her own research. Maybe that's why she hadn't reacted to his presence in her classroom, he was too familiar to her even though they had never met. She only wished her father and Eddie had been alive when he'd been discovered. Or Uncle Dum Dum, he would have been over the moon about being right. In her mind, she could imagine Dum Dum being near tears at seeing his old friend safe and sound. Telling him it was a brave fool thing he did and he was a son of a bitch for it before hugging the stuffings out of him.

 

“So can I guess that you were a surprise baby for your parents?” Steve asked, mixing sweetener into his third coffee. She knew he only drank it for the familiarity of it, his metabolism not allowing either caffeine or alcohol to affect him. It was strange to think that the waitress probably had no idea that Steve technically could qualify for the senior menu. By the look the waitress gave him, which he either didn't notice or ignored, the only thing on her mind probably had being naked involved. She couldn't blame the girl. Steve was an incredibly handsome man, even more so in person. But ironically, his personality was what made the rest work. If he had looked like that, with the jawline that launched a thousand hearts and eyes as blue as the Aegean, but a shit personality, the rest wouldn't really matter.

 

“Yes, very much so. My father married late and my mother was 14 years younger. Eddie was born within the year and then I was born 15 years later.”

 

He nodded. “Do you know why Dum Dum never married? Or Peggy?”

 

She shrugged. “I don't know, honestly. I think for Dum Dum, maybe it had to do with the fact that he couldn't [find anyone](http://neojedigoddess.deviantart.com/art/Small-World-After-All-Captain-America-OFC-ch-3-583882779#) who would be able to understand what he went through during the war or would be able to look beyond it. The Howling Commandos were quasi-celebrities after the war. I think Uncle Dum Dum just focused on what was familiar and that's how he helped create SHIELD. He wanted to try and help make a world that wouldn't need it's children to sacrifice themselves to save it. He doted on Eddie like he was his own and was always there for me too.” She didn't say anything about Peggy. Deep down he had to know that part of her could never truly give herself to another man when she was still missing him.

 

“What do you remember about him?”

 

She smiled. “I remember his laugh. He still wore that bowler, even then. I think there's a picture somewhere of me sitting on his lap wearing it. I remember how fun he was and how big his hands were. I remember thinking he was the tallest and strongest man ever because he could lift me so high with one hand. All while yelling his usual Wahoo of course.” She took a drink of her Pepsi, shaking her head and pushing down the familiar pain of yet another family member that was no longer around. “He was always so supportive. Telling me that anything a boy could do, I could do better if I wanted to. That it was up to each person, myself included to make the world a better place, one day at a time. It's been nearly 25 years, but I still miss him.”

 

“He was a good man. One of the best.” Steve said supportively. “He never backed down from a fight or from having the back of his friends.”

 

“I can't imagine what it's like for you. It has to be so difficult. I mean, you look younger than 30, but you are honestly 97 years old and everyone you knew with the exception of Bucky is gone.”

 

Steve flinched and she felt embarrassed like she'd revealed that she knew something she shouldn't have. “You know about Bucky?”

 

She held out her hands. “I'm sorry, I didn't realize you didn't know I knew. Natasha told me that the Winter Soldier was [Bucky Barnes](http://neojedigoddess.deviantart.com/art/Small-World-After-All-Captain-America-OFC-ch-3-583882779#). That he'd been taken by Hydra and brainwashed. She told me because he'd been a Commando, you know? Commandos are family.” She paused. “Have you been able to get any leads on him?” She would have heard if he had been found.

 

Steve's jaw tightened and he stared out the window. “No.”

 

She took a risk and put her hand over his tightly clenched ones. She was struck by how tiny her hand seemed to his. He seemed to be the type to appreciate small gestures of physical comfort. “You will. It won't be easy but you can help each other. Uncle Dum Dum always told stories about how [close](http://neojedigoddess.deviantart.com/art/Small-World-After-All-Captain-America-OFC-ch-3-583882779#) you two were. Somewhere deep down, Bucky remembers. Even Peggy would agree with me. You don't forget family.”

 

Steve turned his head and looked down at her hand over his and moved his hands to hold her one. “Thank you for that. I know he's in there. That's why he couldn't kill me.” He paused and she watched as he consciously pushed away his sadness and anxiety about his oldest friend. “I hope someday to bring him [to meet](http://neojedigoddess.deviantart.com/art/Small-World-After-All-Captain-America-OFC-ch-3-583882779#) you. I think he'd get a kick out of meeting Dum Dum's niece.”

 

Holly smiled, trying not to react to the fact that Captain America was holding her hand. “If there's anything I can do, let me know. I could try to put together a behavior profile, study his case, what we know of his past. It might just show us his mindset and where he might go next.”

 

Steve nodded. No doubt any kind of help was welcome at this point.

 

“You know what's strange?” She asked after he'd released her hand and they'd sat in companionable silence for a few minutes. “You are technically 62 years older than me but physically, I'm older than you.”

 

Steve laughed his eyes bright with amusement. She had to keep reminding herself that deep down, he was just a normal guy. “That's true. Natasha takes great joy in the old jokes around me when actually she's physically older. I'll have to remind her of that.”

 

He had no idea just what a huge thing it was to have Nat joking around with him. She tended to be very reserved around most everyone except a few select people. She still remembered the first time she'd made Natasha laugh. It was a top ten moment. “You do realize that she will probably team up with Tony and Clint to torture you on your 100th birthday, right?”

 

He groaned, letting his head drop. “Don't remind me. I'll be 100 and 30 at the same time or something since I don't quite age at the same rate as everyone else. It's very confusing.”

 

“You seem to be adapting to the 21st century rather well though.” She was impressed with what he'd told her about his list of things to catch up on, showing off his cellphone which he actually was pretty good at being able to use without problem.

 

“Thanks. There's still so much to learn and it changes everyday. People act and dress so completely differently and yet somethings haven't changed at all. I sometimes actually feel like the fossil Natasha teases me about being.”

 

“I think that's her way of making sure you don't get bogged down in it all. She had a hard time when she defected from the Soviet Union and joined SHIELD. She left everything and everyone familiar behind her. And now that all her secrets are out there, she can't hide like she tends to do, like she was trained.”

 

“You don't hide.”

 

“I used to and I have on occasion. Relocation is sometimes necessary in this life. Granted I wasn't an assassin like Nat, but there's always that feeling that you need to blend into the background. If they can't see you, they can't judge you or hurt you. It's always safer if you don't stand out. But a wise man once said, once you start running, they'll never let you stop.”

 

He gave her a nod, recognizing something he'd said to Peggy before he'd gotten the life altering serum. It was a bit of a mantra for her. “I get the idea there's something more to that.”

 

He was as quick as Dum Dum and Coulson had told her. She smiled. “Well done, Captain. Most of the times I've had to hide has had to do with my status as a Delta Level mutant.”

 

No reaction. Interesting. She knew that he knew of mutants, there was no way to not know about them these days. He probably wouldn't have met very many or known about them back in his day but since then had probably met a few without even realizing it. “What does Delta Level mean?” He asked politely with some interest.

 

“It means I'm not a high power mutant, my ability is more specific and latent and doesn't manifest physically so I'm better able to pass as a normal human.” She explained as simply as possible. She'd seen more than one person outed and even for a trained SHIELD agent, it was a frightening possibility. The fear of mutants and the violence perpetuated against them in response to that fear was disgusting and seemingly never ending.

 

“May I ask what your ability is or is that considered rude? I don't believe I've ever met a mutant. I mean, that I know of.”

 

She smiled and checked to see if anyone was paying attention before looking to his coffee cup and watching as it rose and the coffee rose out of it like they were in zero g. Then, just as easily, the coffee returned to the cup and the cup returned to the saucer. “Tada.”

 

“Oh...that's...telekenesis?”

 

She nodded, impressed. “Well done.”

 

“I'm still learning about the entire thing, though it's hard to escape it in the news or on the street. He leaned forward a little. “I want you to know, might be from 70 years ago, but I'm not a bigot. Never have been. Race, religion, genetic ability, it doesn't matter to me.”

 

“Thank you. I didn't think you were. I mean, just having Uncle Gabe and Uncle Jim in your unit back in the day was a huge step. And no, Dum Dum didn't know. My ability didn't manifest until after he passed. But he was very supportive of my mother. She's where I get the gene from. She was able to meld into shadow.”

 

“Oh. Did SHIELD employ many mutants?”

 

She chuckled. “Wouldn't have been much of a secret agency if they did. There were a few of us, but only Deltas. Otherwise it would have caused too much attention.”

 

He nodded, taking that into consideration. “Can I ask what you did for SHIELD?”

 

She nodded, appreciating his not focusing on her mutant status as some others would. “Mostly undercover domestic terrorism. Some cleaner work. Behavior profiling of targets. Protective details. Lots of going undercover in high schools to assess metahumans and their potential threat or use. I was part of Strike Team Delta with Clint and Natasha, the name just being ironic. Sometimes I would help my brother out, he had a long haul cover as a Hollywood stuntman and coordinator. He was a section chief out in the Pacific territory. I guess I was a bit of a Jill of all trades.”

 

“Behavioral profiling?”

 

“It's where you observe a person's actions, both past and current, their behavior, reactions, reasoning to get a better understanding of who they are, their motives and what their next action might be.”

 

“And have you profiled me?”

 

She let out a sigh. “It's not exactly something you turn on or off. You just do it. Think of Sherlock Holmes, but more realistic.”

 

“Alright. Then do it. Tell me about me.”

 

She shook her head and sat back. “You were nervous, being at the college today because you didn't get to go to college, only a year of art school. You still think of people who go to college as being those with money or somehow better because it seemed so exclusive when you were a kid. But at the same time, you feel a bitterness because you didn't get to experience what these kids have. The chance to learn whatever they want and the potential to do most anything but they completely take it for granted. They have no fear of contracting TB, no soup kitchens, no war that took over the entire nation. They throw away clothing and food that could have fed all of Brooklyn on a daily basis. They don't understand what you were fighting for and feel like you are still fighting for today. You don't advertise it, but you are always observing people, looking for threats and are adapting to the 21st century faster than most people realize or give you credit for. Tony drives you insane because he has no sense of modesty and no respect for his father and thinks money is the answer to everything. Natasha reminds you of Peggy in many ways but you don't like that she kept secrets from you when you were partners before the fall of SHIELD.”

 

His eyes widened and he tried not to gape at her. “You could tell all that from knowing me for a few hours?”

 

She shrugged. “Remember, past influences present and future. I've heard many stories about you, not just from my uncle but from Tony, Nat and Clint. Peggy told me quite a few as well.”

 

“Did you work with Agent Coulson?”

 

She smiled, seeing that her profiling had not necessarily startled him, but had made him uncomfortable, more so than showing off her mutant status. She allowed the ham fisted change of subject. “Yes, I did work with Coulson quite a bit. Though I guess I should call him Director now. He was pretty much Delta's handler. Don't know how he managed to deal with the three of us.”

 

“Did you uncover many threats among the students of the schools you went to?”

 

She shook her head. “Not too many. Just the usual amount of anger and hormones. Mostly harmless mutants and a few accidental metas. The mutants I would send in the direction of Xavier's School. SHIELD tried to help the others. The ones who wanted help, that is. You've heard of Daredevil?”

 

Steve nodded. The world had become a strange place since 1945, not that it was normal then, with people like Red Skull around. Watching the news probably saddened him, the way people spoke about mutants was the same as they had talked about race back in his day. Even during the war, when there had been slurs muttered about Gabe just because he was black. Or Jim because he was Japanese. What difference did it make if they were good men? The same applied to Dum Dum's niece. “The guy in the devil suit in Hell's Kitchen.”

 

“Would you believe he's actually completely blind?”

 

Steve looked impressed. “How does he fight or anything if he can't see?”

 

“It's difficult to explain. When he was a kid, there was an accident and he got splashed in the eyes with chemical waste and it took his sight. But it also increased all his other senses to an incredible degree. He told me that it gives him a kind of sight, but not how we see. It helps him be a very good fighter. I know Fury considered him when he was beginning the Avengers Initiative. The only time I was ever confronted by my target. Very embarrassing.”

 

“He figured out who you were?”

 

“He knew I wasn't a potential client.” A pause. “He's a lawyer.” She explained. “He could tell I was lying from my heartbeat and recognized that I was carrying weapons and was trained in their use by the way I walked and that I'd been tailing him by the soap I used.”

 

“Impressive.”

 

“Fury thought so.” She shrugged. “SHIELD keeps an eye out for him, help if they can. He's my lawyer, Peggy's too. Best lawyer to have, he can always tell if the other guy is lying just from his heartbeat. Though now, I don't know how much Coulson is able to do for him. He's a good guy, you'd like how he fights for his neighborhood.” Or how he would fight for his friends.

 

Just then, Steve stiffened, looking at something or someone over her shoulder and Holly saw his face change into the serious expression of Captain America. It was as good as if he were wearing the cowl. His eyes narrowed, brow furrowed and jaw clenched. She reached for the collapsible staff she kept in her boot, adjusting herself to prepare to vault from the booth and use the nearby table as cover when she turned and then stopped when she saw exactly who Steve was looking at.

 

It was Tony and Nat.

 

“Wow, they'll let anyone in this diner, won't they? Such shady clientele.” Tony teased, a big grin on his face. He was dressed casually in a vintage The Who t-shirt, his arc light shining through and jeans that probably cost more than the diner. She could never figure out if he was consciously trying not to be a formal businessman like his father or if it was purely unconscious. “Capsicle, have you been boring my honorary little sister agent with your old war stories? Or has she been scaring you with her stories about me? It's all true, by the way.”

 

“Tony! Be nice!” Holly admonished, sliding out of the booth and quickly stepping over to hug the older man who pretty much was like an honorary older brother. He looked much better than he had after everything in New York and then with the Mandarin. Thankfully he'd come to grips with his own PTSD and was moving on. Deep down he was very strong, she'd always known that. She smiled as he wrapped his arms tight around her and pressed a kiss to her head, like he had when she was little. Of course now, there was the arc reactor in his chest, making the slightest hum in addition to his heartbeat. He'd kept it even though he didn't need it to keep the shrapnel away from his heart anymore. “Hello Jarvis.” She greeted, knowing the AI never left Tony.

 

“Hello Holly. It is nice to speak to you again.” The AI's voice came from Tony's watch.

 

She turned to her old friend and fellow agent and grinned, Tony's arm still around her shoulder. “About time I get to see you! Do you have any idea how much I worried about you after SHIELD fell? You barely call, barely text, can't even be bothered to stop in!”

 

Natasha shrugged noncommittally, her body language meant to show her as bored even though Holly could see that she was far from it. Holly had known the redhead for going on 15 years and knew nearly all her tells, few as they were. “Told you I was fine.”

 

“No, I had to see it when you spoke before Congress on friggin' CSPAN!” She threw her hands up in the air. “How are you? You look fat.”

 

The former Russian spy broke her nonchalant expression and laughed before pulling her into a hug, affectionately cursing her in Russian under her breath. It was good to see her again. The hard part about leaving active agent duty was not being able to work with and see the people she'd all but grown up with on a regular basis. And it was always good to actually see them and know they were safe.

 

The two women broke their hug and Holly looked at what was effectively half of the Avengers. “So I guess you two are here to take Cap on a mission to save the world again?” She was a bit disappointed, enjoying getting to know the man she'd only ever heard stories about. It was a thrill to realize they got along so well.

 

“Actually, honorary sister from another mister, we're here for both of you to take on a mission to save the world. Again.” Tony said with his near permanent smirk and his eyebrow raised in challenge, arms crossed over his chest.

 

That threw her for a loop. “Whoa whoa whoa Iron Shorts. I'm not an active SHIELD operative. I haven't been for nearly 12 years. I'm a damned teacher now. I deal with term papers and entitled frat boys.”

 

“One who continued to assist via profiling and consulting and is one of the deadliest trained fighters in the world. I know for a fact that you've kept up on your skills.” Natasha spoke up, an eyebrow raised to match Tony's.

 

Holly cursed mentally. Of course Nat would have found out, probably from Tony, about the small Hydra cell that had been at the University that attempted to take her out when her identity was fully revealed. The four fake students had been easy to take down and had nearly gotten her fired from the University. It wasn't exactly smiled upon when a professor killed or crippled 4 students in a lecture hall. Not to mention that she had been and still was part of an organization that was considered by some to be a terrorist group for a brief time. And there had been rumors of her mutant status that would have probably led to dismissal on that alone. Of course that was until there was a generous endowment to the Science Department from Stark Industries with a cravat that her job not be endangered because she had not only defended herself but the student body who could have been in potential danger.

 

“It's not fair to expect her to want to drop everything for a fight, Natasha. She has the right to a normal life. Who thought this up? You?” Steve spoke up, moving to stand behind her. She looked behind and up and was surprised at the serious expression on the man's face. It was interesting that he automatically blamed Tony. It would make more sense for Natasha to want to bring her along since they'd fought together before. Either way, it was quite flattering that he was acting so protective to someone he barely knew.

 

“Actually, it was me.”

 

The four turned to see a familiar figure standing in the now emptied diner, the remaining customers made to leave by what Holly assumed to be newer SHIELD agents. The new ones always dressed like they were trying out for the next Men in Black movie. There in the doorway in his ever immaculate suit, was Phil Coulson, the new Director.

 

“Coulson!” Holly said with a grin, temporarily forgetting what was being asked of her. Natasha moved aside and she moved forward quickly and affectionately hugged the man who'd been her handler for years. “It is good to see you. You look great!”

 

It was obvious that Coulson's experience of dying and being brought back had changed him because he hugged her right back and gave her a smile. Neither was strained like it would have been years earlier. Being Director suited him. “Thanks. Wasn't sure about this tie with this shirt, but it worked out. It's good to see you too.” He stepped to the side, his hand still resting affectionately on her shoulder. “You remember Agent May of course?”

 

“May. It's good to see you active again. I knew you just needed time.” She put her hands together and bowed in respect to the elder agent, nicknamed the Cavalry. She remembered hearing about the events that led May to go from an active agent to a simple pilot for SHIELD and knew the woman would soon come back to what she did best. Kicking ass. She'd both fought with May and had her ass saved by her, SHIELD needed her skills. Especially now.

 

May bowed in return, a warm smile on her face. “Holly. Something tells me that you could follow that same advice. It's been nearly 13 years.”

 

Holly let out a breath and shook her head. Could she get right back into that groove of fighting for her life and the life of others? She'd made a life, a new life for herself as a professor. She was still skilled but self defense was ingrained into her, going on the offensive was something different. Not to mention fighting with an entire group and not just a few SHIELD agents as her back up or with just Clint and Nat. “It's been too long.”

 

“Then come along as a consultant. Backup. Whatever you want to call it.” May encouraged. “Come with us and catch up at least. It'd be nice to have someone around with as much experience as myself besides Coulson.”

 

“I have a new saber for you to try out!” Tony sing-songed from behind her, clapping his hands together and rubbing them like a little boy on Christmas. “You know you want to see it!”

 

Holly sighed and let her shoulders drop. If she knew anything, it was that when Tony was excited about something, there was no dissuading him. “I don't really have a choice, do I?”

 

“Not in the least.” Tony said, wrapping his arm around her again. “We've already made the arrangements for your classes to be taken care of and everything! You don't even have to lift a finger or fly coach!”

 

“Of course you have a choice, Holly.” Steve glared at Tony who dismissed it. “If you don't want to go, just say the word and that will be it.”

 

She felt everyone's eyes on her as she gave it a moment and shrugged. “What the hell. It's been a while since I've traveled.”

 

The smirk Tony gave Steve was epic and she couldn't help but give him a reassuring look that she really had made the decision on her own, even though she knew Tony well enough that he would have made her come anyway. She had to admire Steve's chivalry and how quick he was to defend her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author notes in Chapter 1**

 

 **Tony POV**  
  
Enroute to the airstrip, Holly had taken the van with Coulson, Red and May while Tony decided to see if he could get Rogers to crap freedom with his driving. So far, no good. Then again, he'd worked with Romanov for how long? If he could survive her driving, he was probably close to immune. Dammit.

 

“So, tell me. Who said hi first?” Tony asked, curious as to how his pseudo sister had reacted to meeting Captain America. He hadn't been terribly impressed but of course he didn't impress easily.

 

“Does her pulling a gun on me count as hi?”

 

Tony laughed shaking his head. “That sounds like my honorary sister agent. Lucky for you she didn't shoot you. She can do that shooting a quarter from a mile away thing. I think. Or she tells me to scare me, I don't know.”

 

“Yeah. How come you've never mentioned her or her family at all?”

 

Tony gripped the steering wheel, maneuvering the car through three lanes of traffic and back again to take the exit they needed. Because they were his, the one thing he didn't want to share with the world when he shared everything else. “Because I didn't want to. Here's my question, you worked with SHIELD and you never looked up what happened to your old Commando crowd? Wouldn't have been hard to find her that way.”

 

Rogers looked down before looking back to the road. “What, so I could find out how old they were when they died? I was told when I was thawed out that of everyone, Peggy was the only one left. That's all I needed to really know.”

 

“And now you know Barnes is back too. Jarvis hasn't found anything on him yet, sorry.” Tony managed to just beat a red light as they sped down the roadway. “Did Holly offer to help you look for him?”

 

“Yeah she did. To use profiling to figure out where he might go. How could that work if his mind is all messed up thanks to Hydra?”

 

Tony shrugged. “Don't ask me. She's as smart as they come, if anyone can figure it out, it's Holly. She's got friends at the FBI, maybe they'd help.”

 

“She showed a picture of you and her when she was small to her class today. You looked happy.”

 

“She's always been the closest I ever got to a younger sibling.” He wondered which picture she'd shown.

 

“And her brother, Eddie?”

 

Tony clenched his jaw, thinking of his old friend, gone so many years. His friend who was never able to tell him the truth of who he was. His first true friend. “I don't want to talk about this with you, okay Capsicle? Some things are private.”

 

“Fair enough.” A pause. “That gives me an option to cash in the same chip someday.”

 

“Fine.” Didn't matter. Tony would find out anyway.

 

**Holly POV**

They were barely on the road before Coulson, being a gentleman and letting Holly ride shotgun asked his question from the seat that Tony had apparently adapted between the actual seats of the van, large enough to share with Nat. Where the hell had they gotten this thing? Had it been frozen somewhere in the Arctic or had they rescued it from an A-Team convention? “So? What do you think?”

 

“The van is shit. Please tell me there is more money in the new budget than this.”

 

He scoffed and rolled his eyes and May's lips twirked up a little. “You know what I'm talking about! Cap! What did you think of finally meeting him?”

 

“Besides the fact that I might have introduced myself by pointing a gun at him?” She cringed a little, knowing Coulson was going to flip.

 

Coulson's jaw dropped in utter shock and May let out a petite snort. “This we have to hear.”

 

“He didn't make himself known to me. He went to my class this afternoon and then found out about my rehearsal for the veteran's benefit and was sitting in a darkened corner. He waited till everyone left. What else should I have thought?” She threw her hands up, more than embarrassed on her own account. Uncle Dum Dum would have gotten a kick out of it and never let her live it down. Just wait until Peggy heard. Dear god.

 

“Oh! Are you doing Star Spangled Man again?” Apparently the faux pas of pointing a gun at one's childhood hero wasn't as big a deal as she thought it was.

 

She grinned. Coulson always tried to make it out for any performance of the old war bond performance. “Of course. And I had Captain America himself in the audience. Can you imagine how Daddy would be flipping out right now?”

 

“He'd be over the moon. Eddie too. How'd he take having a gun pointed at him?”

 

“Wasn't the first time. He called me ma'am.” She giggled. “Nat, he told me what you said to say to prove his identity.”

 

Natasha sat up a bit in the seat. She wasn't overly pleased by the accommodations either and Holly wagered she'd arrived with Tony in his car. Probably driving worse than Tony was right now to scare him a bit. “Oh the Hot Lips thing?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I figured that would be enough of an identifier.” She paused. “He didn't react much when you floated his coffee.”

 

“Why should he?” Coulsen jumped in. “It's no different than having an Asian man or a black man in the Commandos.”

 

Holly tried not to laugh even though the other two women were smirking at his quick reaction to defend Captain Rogers. “Exactly. I think he was more curious than anything else.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See Chapter 1 for Author notes.

Stepping onto the huge plane that Coulson referred to as The Bus, Holly saw a familiar red classic. “Oh wow, Lola! You finally got your hands on her!” Coulson had always talked about owning the classic car but never actively looked to buy one. It wasn't so much a midlife crisis car as a fulfillment of a lifelong dream. Coulson had always been the quiet unassuming guy in the background and Lola was something he could show off proudly.

“A present from Fury, along with the bus.” Coulson said with a tight smile. Obviously it had something to do with what was done to bring Coulson back from the dead. Holly didn't know exact details but she knew that he hadn't almost died, he'd been completely dead for almost a week before being forced back via procedure called Project Tahiti involving alien blood. Even with her being inactive, she was still able to make use of her Level 7 clearance.

Following the others toward the main deck of the plane, a small shadow movement allowed Holly to move just in time to avoid an bluntly tipped knockout arrow aimed for her back, rolled to the side before leaping forward into a somersault and kicking up and out with her feet at the figure in the dark. She flipped to her feet while pulling her collapsible staff out of it's boot holster, pinning it against her attacker's neck while shoving him against the wall. It paid to stay armed.

A slightly choked but amused voice greeted her. “Hiya Hot Lips.”

She rolled her eyes and gently shoved Clint, collapsing and reholstering her staff. She wasn't surprised. He loved doing surprise mock attacks ever since her brother had sat him down to watch the old Pink Panther with Peter Sellers. One time, he'd nearly gotten stuck in an old hotel airduct in order to surprise her when she was sleeping. “Stop calling me that, Legolas.”

“Hey! That's what I call him!” Tony said with an indignant whine from behind them.

Clint grinned, not something he did but for few select people, rubbing at his chest. “Those tiny feet still pack a punch, Skywalker.”

She grinned back. “And you're surprised?” She let the archer pull her into his arms, hugging him back, laughing as he swayed them back and forth, his face pressed into her hair. “It's good to see you.” She'd known Clint since he'd joined Shield and they'd been partners for years. Beyond that, he was one of her closest friends and one of the few people she would gladly give her life for because she knew he would do the same.

“Better to see you. Nice to see your instincts haven't lost anything in the last few years.” He hadn't been able to visit as much with all that had been going on between Cap being found, Hulk pretty much remodeling Harlem, Thor showing up and then dealing with Thor's brother and his alien minions. He always seemed to make time to send her silly texts or links to stuff that he thought would make her laugh though. That was Clint.

She pulled back, very happy to see her friend again. Sometimes it wasn't until you saw someone again that you realized just how much you'd missed them. “Seems like you are getting a bit slow though.”

“Phht, whatever.” He rolled his eyes dramatically, a smile still on his face. “We'll spar later and I'll show you.”

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and they joined the others who'd watched the reunion, Steve looked curious while Natasha had a bemused smile on her face. Clint wrapped his other arm around her waist, giving her a wink. Delta together again, look out world. Coulson showed off a few features of the plane, including the wetbar, which looked like it better belonged on a jet of Tony's. They headed into a large conference room with other agents, a nervous looking man with glasses and a huge blond man wearing a cape along with an equally impressive woman dressed in similar armor.

“Everyone, this is Holly Dugan, aka Lady Skywalker. She's an inactive agent coming along as a consultant and maybe more. Of course you know Captain Rogers.” Coulson introduced. “Holly, you know Bobbi. This is Dr. Banner, Thor and Lady Sif of Asgard. Everyone, this is my team. Agents Skye, Morse, Hunter, Triplett, Mac, Fitz and Simmons.”

Thor stood up first, holding out his hand, a warm smile on his face. Apparently he'd learned some Earth mannerisms. “I was not aware that Midgardian royalty would be accompanying us on our quest. Milady, I bring greetings from Asgard. I am Thor Odinson.”

Holly watched as instead of taking her hand, her forearm all but disappeared in Thor's grip and her own hand barely managed to reach half of his huge muscles. An Asgardian version of a handshake? “Thank you Thor, but I am no royalty. My codename for SHIELD was Lady Skywalker, it is no title. It has to do with the kind of weapons I prefer to use, inspired by a Midgardian epic known as Star Wars.”

Thor's eyes lit up and a genuine look of happiness took his face. “I know of this! I have seen it while visiting Midgard with the Warriors 3! You fight with the swords of light?”

She couldn't help but smile at his glee for knowing something from this world and not having to have it explained to him. It was obvious that he was very eager to learn new things. She wouldn't doubt she would be the same way on Asgard. “That's right. Well done, Thor Odinson.”

“I should like to see these swords of light, Lady Skywalker. Perhaps you will honor me with a mock fight as we fly this metal beast into danger?”

Holly could barely keep up with the near Shakespearean tone of the Asgardians, all the while her mind screaming at her that she was meeting aliens. “It would be my honor, Lady Sif.” She bowed her head in respect to the pair.

To her right, she saw Tony all but hauling Dr. Banner from his seat like a petulant child and over for a proper introduction. “Dr. Dugan, it's very nice to meet you. I've seen some of your classes online. Very engaging and thought provoking.” He fidgeted nervously, pushing his glasses up and barely meeting her eye.

She smiled, knowing that Dr. Banner's alter ego was the Hulk. She knew Tony would be the last person to baby the man or be afraid of him because of what he became. It was something he'd learned from her father. From what she knew about both Banner and his alter ego, she had no worries either. “ Please, Dr. Banner, just Holly. I don't even make my students call me Dr Dugan if they don't want to. It's nice to finally meet you. Tony raves about you. I'm impressed you have the patience to deal with him on a regular basis. I think if anything that shows a great deal of control on your part.”

“Please, call me Bruce. And thank you. He does like to try and tempt...you know, the other guy into coming out. But I promised Pepper I would try not to break Manhattan. One borough is enough.”

Holly laughed. “I'm sure Manhattan appreciates it.” She shook his hand. “If it means anything, my father never liked General Ross. He always thought it would be a matter of time before he ended up getting people hurt with his recklessness. I think that transferred over to Fury, why he tended to be a bit protective of you where others wouldn't have been.”

Bruce nodded. “I appreciate that. The General...is a complicated man.”

“Pompous asshat.” Tony coughed not so nonchalantly into his hand.

“Who I heard was drummed out of the service early for the events leading to the Abomination.” Holly said, smirking at how Tony seemed protective of the man who could become the Hulk. Of course they both had difficult childhoods thanks to their fathers on top of genius beyond compare. It wasn't something you usually found in another person. At Bruce's confused look, she shrugged. “I still have my SHIELD clearance. You'd be surprised at the things I know.”

She turned to where Trip, another person she recognized, was standing with his arms crossed, a playful twist to his lips. “Look at this, two Legacies on the same plane. You know I brought the noise.”

“And I always bring the funk.” The black man grinned, pulling her into a tight hug. “It's good to see you, Holly. It's been way too long.”

“I know, it's really good to see you Trip. I was sorry to hear about Garrett. I can't count the number of times I met him and never had a clue he was Hydra. Not even a hint. Pissed me off that he and that Ward traitor were able to fool us so well. You okay?” She was even more angry that she'd actually thanked Garrett for having Trip on his team at the time the Towers fell, Trip being out of the country and not in NY at the time.

“Yeah. It's messed up, the whole Hydra thing, but they made their choice and it was the wrong one.” He shrugged. It was obvious to her that it still bothered him. Not just the feeling of betrayal by his commanding agent, but by the fact that Hydra had infiltrated so completely. It had taken her by surprise as well. She'd spent a good deal of time going over old missions, thinking of why she hadn't suspected. She'd never liked Pierce, neither had her father or Peggy, but to think he'd been Hydra the whole time made her sick.

Holly nodded before turning and waving Steve over. “Steve, have you met Agent Triplett? He's a fellow Legacy, what we've come to call anyone descended from the original Commandos, who weren't terribly prolific. We're the only ones left. His mom was Gabe Jones' daughter.”

She almost teared up at how big Trip's eyes got at the sight of the real Captain America, someone they'd both grown up hearing firsthand stories about. Like a child learning Santa Claus was real or going to Disney World for the first time. He knew about Steve being found from the start, but here he was in the flesh. He instantly straightened up and put his hand to his temple in salute. “Sir! It's an honor, sir.”

“At ease, son. We're all friends here.” Steve put out his hand, respectful amusement in his eyes considering that Trip was physically older than he was. “It's actually my honor to have fought with your grandfather, he was one of the best men I knew. He'd be proud to know you were continuing the fight with SHIELD.”

It was obvious that Trip was nervous but he relaxed just a bit as he shook Steve's hand. “Thank you sir. Really.”

The girl that Coulson had identified as Skye came over, an amused look on her face from watching Trip's reaction to Steve. “So you are the Holly Coulson's told me about. Is it true you became an agent at 14?”

Holly nodded, remembering how proud she felt when she received her badge and clearance. “Yep. The youngest SHIELD agent in history.”

“And your dad was director?”

“Yes, he was. For well over 20 years before Fury took over.” 

“I can't even imagine being an agent that young!”

“I was born into SHIELD. It's all I've ever known. The last few years have been stranger than anything SHIELD ever threw at me, to be honest. Staying in one place was hard to get used to.” She gave the younger girl a smile and leaned in closer. “We'll have to sit down and talk, I can tell you a few stories about Coulson you won't believe.”

“May told me the Milan story.”

Holly fought back a laugh. “Oh sweetheart, Milan is nothing. I've known the man for 20 years, May is holding back on you.”

“Oh god dammit.” Coulson muttered, his hand to his forehead. 

“You get what you ask for, Phil.” May said with a smirk on her face as she gave Holly a wink, heading up to the cockpit.

 

After a few more introductions and takeoff, the group all sat down around the conference table for a situation report by Coulson. It seemed there was a leader of a small country in Western Europe, called Latveria who was threatening neighboring nations with releasing his armies of mechanized soldiers unless they surrendered and declared allegiance to him. He called himself Dr. Doom.

“Wait, Victor Von Doom? The scientist who used to work with Reed Richards?” Bruce spoke up, his brow furrowed. “Last I heard he'd been in an accident and Richards was recovering from cosmic ray radiation exposure with his team.”

“You heard correctly, Dr. Banner. Unfortunately, whatever happened to Doom was enough to push his meglomania into full blown psychosis. No one has seen him since but he's fully embraced his title of dictator. We're flying in to assess the potential threat under the unofficial request of the United Nations Security Council.”

“Because Doom is considered a world leader, they'd have to publicly threaten sanctions and such otherwise. He have diplomatic immunity if he tried to coordinate this aggressive expansion from the States probably.” Holly added, looking at the old stock photo of the man. Part of being a SHIELD agent was knowing just what kind of laws you were possibly violating if you weren't invited to a particular country. Doom looked like the kind of guy who thought he was better than everyone else and to try and prove him wrong would send him over the edge. Vanity and ego to the extreme. The question was what put him over the edge? The accident? 

“That's right. Luckily for us, he's near his home country commanding his self proclaimed Doombots from a castle fortress. Seriously, that's what he called them in his formal threat.” Coulson seemed ready for everyone to think he was just kidding.

“Doombots? Castle? Lame.” Tony concluded with a dismissing wave of his hand. After you fought an entire alien army, one madman with robots seemed like nothing.

“This coming from a guy who used to have a building with his name on it in NY?” Clint quipped, an eyebrow raised. “And had how many Iron Man suits that could operate independently thanks to Jarvis?”

“Blah blah. Keep it up there Robin Hood and I'll start charging you rent!”

“Where is Latveria? Near Russia?” Steve interrupted, looking at the screen, keen to stay on topic. “It sounds vaguely familiar but most of my time was in Eastern and Northern Europe.”

“It's near Bavaria, Cap. In the Alps.” Bruce spoke up absently, intently reading the information on his tablet. It made sense that Banner would be familiar with another authority in the scientific community. 

Holly stiffened at the sound of Bavaria and even more so about the Alps in that country. “Director please tell me Doom is in Latveria and not Bavaria.”

“Sorry Agent, I can't.” Coulson's eyes were sympathetic. He already knew what she'd realized. He had to. And that was probably why he slipped, calling her agent.

“Why does it matter where he is?” Natasha spoke up confused.

“Because an egomaniac like Doom would want to chose an infamous place for his base of operations. A place that would be legendary and inspire fear while having the capabilities, once retrofitted, for his purposes.” Holly explained, dreading her next question and closing her eyes as she did. “He's taken over Castle Kaufmann, hasn't he?” She knew they should have destroyed that place in the last 60 years.

The only one who reacted to her question was Steve who took in a sharp breath. Coulson looked sadly at the soldier before nodding. “Excellent profiling Holly. That's where we are heading. We should be there in less than 6 hours.”

Steve stood up suddenly. “Excuse me.” He left the room.

“What was that? Cap allergic to Bavarian crème?” Tony said in his usual blunt manner, rotating his chair in mild interest. It obvious wasn't Steve's usual behavior to leave a situation meeting.

Holly smacked him upside the head from across the table without even moving. It had been a trick that had greatly amused her brother when she was a kid. Tony wasn't known for his tact and telekinesis came in handy. “Castle Kaufmann was once the base for the Red Skull and the original incarnation of Hydra. That's where Cap and the Commandos stopped their plan of attack using the Tesseract.” She took her breath. “It's where the plane that Steve was forced to crash into the Arctic launched from, in March 1945.”

A low curse in French came from Trip who had finally made the connection. His grandfather had been a Commando and had no doubt had spoken sadly about the events at the Castle. He'd been the only other Commando present when Bucky Barnes had been presumed lost from the fall from the Hydra train. The others were quiet, concerned about the super soldier but not knowing what to say. What could you say?

“Shit.” Tony breathed. “I didn't know.”

“No, but as usual, you speak without thinking.” Holly said roughly. She was used to Tony's particular way of expressing himself and his personality but she knew it could be seen as cocky and abrasive if not downright rude by others. She almost wanted to ask him if he'd like to make a return visit to the system of caves he'd been held captive in for 3 months in Afghanistan.“Excuse me, I'm going to check on Steve and hope he's not experiencing the Super Soldier version of PTSD.”

She left the room and made her way through the plane, looking for Steve. She was more than a little angry that no one had warned Steve ahead of time where they were going. They weren't facing the Red Skull again but to go back to the place that led to you ending up a human popsicle for nearly 70 years to face another megalomaniac with plans of world domination had to mess with your head. She wagered Steve probably still had issues dealing with winter after his experience.

She finally found him sitting in a seat looking out the window on the night sky. His jaw was tight and his hands were gripping the seat arms so tightly that she was sure that he was bending the metal under the leather cushions. She cautiously approached him and stopped a few feet away, in case he was dealing with PTSD. Her father had told her about how Uncle Dum Dum had nearly killed him once when he tried to wake his brother from a nightmare involving what Hydra had done to the men before their rescue by Captain America. She remembered Pepper telling her about Tony having a nightmare that had him waking up with his armored hand and a charged repulsor in her face. And she'd witnessed the same with both Clint and Natasha. She'd had her own share of nightmares over the years too. He had to be hurting.

She spoke quietly. “Steve? Are you alright?”

It was silent for long moments. “What do you think?”

“Sorry, it was a dumb question.” She apologized. “Can I sit with you? I think you need some company. I can just sit here if you want and not talk. I don't think you should be alone.”

He swallowed and turned away from the window to look at her, the pain in his eyes evident. He looked lost and almost scared. One of the few things that could actually really frighten the legendary Captain America. Or was this more of the man behind the shield being afraid? “I'm not going to try and hurt myself or go crazy.”

She shook her head. “I never said that you'd do either. But it's obvious that you are hurting just the same. I'm sorry you had to find out where we were heading like that. I know it has to be a shock.”

His jaw tensed. “Yeah. One place I never wanted to return to. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you would figure out where Doom would set up base.”

She shrugged as she carefully moved herself into the seat opposite him, making her movements deliberate and without any suddenness. “Uncle Dum Dum wouldn't talk about what happened there except to use the Castle as a starting point to try and figure out where you might have crashed enroute to NY.” Her voice seemed loud in the large room. “Peggy told me of how she spoke to you right till the very end. That you were going to go dancing. But as much as she missed you, she knew that you'd made the right choice and she was proud that you had been so brave to do it.”

Steve had returned to looking out the window. “I remember seeing the water and ice coming closer and closer. Peggy talking about our date. Telling me I better not be late. I have vague memories of the cold, being unable to move and the ice biting into me. I think I thought that at least I'd see Bucky again. See my parents.”

Holly's heart broke, hearing the pained words coming from the hero before her. Everyone seemed to forget that despite appearances, Captain America was really a former target of bullies. He was still just a kid himself, forced to do things he never got the chance to come to deal with before waking up in a whole new world with everything he ever knew to be gone. No chance to just be Steve Rogers of Brooklyn again. He'd only been out of the ice a few scarce months before the Loki incident with the Chitari invasion happened. Not long after that was Hydra emerging from within SHIELD and the appearance of the Winter Soldier. There was no time for him to truly mentally deal with what he'd been through during the war, let alone his choice to sacrifice himself in that bomber.

“It's stupid. It's just a place. I'm sure it's changed in nearly 70 years, right?”

“It's not stupid Steve.” She took a chance to trust him as he was trusting her. “I haven't been able to go to New York since September 11th. I was doing a quick snatch and grab in San Diego with Clint when everything happened. It's just blind luck or whatever you want to call it that I wasn't home in NY when everything went down. All I had left was a communique that went to all SHIELD agents, requesting assistance in NY.” She took a breath. “That was the order from the Hydra undercover.”

“I'm sorry, that must have been so hard.”

She nodded. “Coulson tried telling me that if I had been in New York, I probably would have died too.” Another moment of trust. “For a while, I wished I had. Died, you know? That's why I left SHIELD. I couldn't risk the lives of other agents because I didn't care about my own. I didn't have anything to live for. That's dangerous in this line of work.”

“I understand.” His eyes told her that unlike a lot of people, he really got it. In any kind of a fight, you had to be completely focused and beyond that, care about what happened to you. Without that, you could get others killed trying to defend you or pick up your slack. Or worse, innocents could suffer.

“Maybe this could be a second chance for both of us. I can try and get back into the field and you can help yourself put away those memories. To make it just a place in the Alps that no one cares about. Hell, we have to have some good ordinance on this thing. Maybe if we ask nicely, Coulson will let us blow it back to hell. That could be fun.”

She could see him fighting it, but a smile and a chuckle came out. Steve looked at her, his lips slightly curved. His eyes less pained, more amused. Pleased even. She could see the kid from Brooklyn that he'd always insisted to Peggy he was in the end in that smile. “You are a special kind of lady, you know that?”

“Coming from you, that's the highest compliment I've ever received.” It really was a bit of a thrill too, not just to be called special by Captain America, but to make a man who looked like Steve with that warm personality smile and laugh. He didn't seem to have a disingenuous bone in his body. In this day and age, it was refreshing.

They sat quietly for a while before Holly spoke again. “Listen, I know this isn't going to be easy for you and I know quite a few people on this plane want me to move on from my own issues. Anyways, I'm sure Tony actually does have a new saber for me with him and Coulson has my costume somewhere around here. He's a nut for costumes yet always wears a suit. Never figured that out.”

Steve chuckled again. “I think that might actually be his costume.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: In the comics, the real life Riker's Prison is Ryker's and has a dedicated section for superpowered prisoners.

**Steve's POV**

Steve couldn't help but consider himself impressed as he watched Holly not just spar against Natasha but Barton as well. She was using a double bladed lightsaber, the sword of light that Thor had spoken of. He was vaguely familiar with it and wondered if the new one Stark had made for her was created with his ARC technology, its blades a bright blue. It allowed her to deflect Clint's sparring arrows which didn't pierce but still packed a whollop and that of Natasha's Widow Bites.

 

She moved like a dancer and a gymnast in one as a choral theme was played over the loudspeaker. It was a far cry from the college professor he'd met only hours earlier. She adapted and defended, planned and attacked. She was fully concentrating, not letting the cheers from the group watching the sparring distract her nor did she concentrate completely on using her lightsaber or even her telekenetic abilities. She made use of whatever was available, even grabbing and pulling Natasha's arm to use one of her sparring Widow Bites on Barton. If this was her after being inactive for nearly 13 years, he was curious to see her at her peak.

 

Both Stark and Coulson looked like proud older brothers, arms crossed as they watched the fight. Even Trip looked like a proud brother, her fellow Commando legacy. He was speaking quietly to the young agent that had been introduced as simply Skye. Thor and Sif looked impressed, murmuring to each other and cheering loudly as Holly knocked Hawkeye to his knees and used his body to vault over and use both feet to kick Natasha into the padded wall, landing effortlessly on her feet, twirling the bright blue saber, a grin on her face. It was obvious she was enjoying being back with her friends again.

 

“She hasn't lost her touch.” Bobbi Morse, aka Mockingbird spoke from his shoulder, absently twirling one of her batons in her fingers. “Hard to believe she's been inactive for so long.”

 

“I'm sure people said the same about me and I was inactive for 70 years, not 12.”

 

“Sorry Captain, I didn't mean to imply anything.” Her eyes widened and she ducked her head in embarrassment.

 

He shook his head. “No apologies necessary. I'm amazed at her skill.”

 

“This has been her life, till a few years ago. Her brother was an expert in hand to hand as well as swords. I only ever got to see them fight together once. We were sent in to stop terrorists who had taken over Ryker's prison in NY. You'd have thought they shared a mind. It was actually quite beautiful.”

 

“You knew her brother?”

 

Bobbi nodded, her eyes on the fight. “Yeah. Edward Dugan. Codename: Deathsword. He was a legend. He recruited Hawkeye. Actually got to spar with him once when I first started with SHIELD. He wiped the floor with me and I couldn't have been more happy. Director Dugan, their father, was a legend too, but I never met him. Rumor is that he was the one who recruited Fury.”

 

Steve nodded, impressed. “And their mother?”

 

“Rose Dugan, codename: Shadow Dancer. She was the one they got their physicality from and where Holly got her mutant gene. She was a Lakota Sioux and Holly looks just like her. Between her and their father, they were formidible agents.” She broke off and stood with the others as the session ended, Holly bowing to the crowd before elaborately twirling her saber and shutting it down before helping Natasha to pull Barton to his feet. The archer used their help to pull both women into a three way hug. It spoke of affection and familiarity. Holly had mentioned being apart of the assault team Strike Team Delta with the pair years ago. Apparently they had stayed close.

 

“Director, we're approaching the landing site. ETA 20 minutes.” Agent May's voice came over the loudspeaker.

 

“You heard the lady. Everyone, suit up.” Coulson said, moving forward to the quietly chatting trio who were discussing their mock fight, complete with hand gestures. “Holly, I have your uniform for you if you'll follow me.”

 

Holly let out an amused laugh and shook her finger at the man. “I knew you would!”

 

“I don't like to disappoint.” The director said with a small smile, indicating where he needed Holly to follow.

 

**Holly's POV**

“How does it feel?”

 

Holly looked up to see Coulsen leaning against the wall outside of the small room she'd been given to change in. Her uniform hadn't changed, practically stolen from the Star Wars movies except that she generally didn't wear the robe and it was more form fitting, not as bulky. Plus there were all the gadgets and weapons she had in addition to her training, telekenesis and saber. “Feels like old times.”

 

“Your spar went well. I'm glad you came with us.”

 

She shrugged. “Tony didn't give me a choice really. I'm just wondering how the hell you, Nat and Tony came up with this cockamamie scheme to get me back in the field.”

 

“Actually, it wasn't really a scheme, more just how things fell together.” He adjusted his cufflinks. “You know Fury wanted you for the Avenger Initiative from the start.”

 

She snorted. “Yeah, to help keep Nat, Clint and Tony in line.”

 

Her old handler smirked. “Largely. But in the end, this is what you were meant for. You know that. It's time. Are you ready?”

 

She took a deep breath. “Yeah. Yeah I am.”

 

“And you are going to be fighting with Captain America, can you imagine what your dad would think?”

 

She chuckled. “He would be over the moon.”

 

“What do you think of him, now that you've actually met him? Really.”

 

She shook her head. Phil Coulson was a gossiping little girl when it came to Captain America. “The stories didn't do him justice. And I think the thing I like most about him is he really is that kid from Brooklyn. A regular guy.”

 

Coulson grinned. “Yes! That's what I thought too.”

 

Amused, she started walking with him toward the main part of the plane where everyone would be getting prepared. “Let's get back to everyone before you start gushing and writing poetry.”

 

**Steve's POV**

“Wow, it's really hitting me that I'm going to be going into a fight with Captain America. This is really kinda awesome.”

 

Steve looked up from where he'd been adjusting the knife he kept in his boot to find that Dr. Holly Dugan was gone and standing before him was Lady Skywalker, Agent of SHIELD. She was dressed in what could only be described as a kind of dark tan gee, not quite as skin tight as Black Widow's catsuit. It was similar to what Agent May wore, except the top was longer. The belt no doubt had many of the same gadgets that Black Widow and Hawkeye made use of and strapped to her leg was a collapsible wooden staff and her boots held multiple knives. Having seen her make use of a wrist holster earlier in the spar, he was sure there were more hidden weapons on her person, no doubt her knee high boots were filled with tricks. It was smart to see she planned for contingencies.

 

“Lady Skywalker, how does it feel to be back?”

 

She grinned before looking down at her costume, smoothing out non-existant wrinkles. “It feels good, honestly. I've missed this old thing.”

 

“I'm not that much older than you, twerp.” Stark, in his Iron Man suit, sans helmet walked over. “You ready to fight, little girl?”

 

She rolled her eyes but still had a smile on her face. “You mean probably save your tin can ass? Sure.”

 

“Coulson!? I'm going to throw Holly out of the plane, that's okay right?” Stark called out, playfully pulling Holly toward the hanger doors, her giggles taking a bit of the toughness from her appearance as they filled the hangar, even making the man pulling her grin. It was nice to see this part of Stark, the pseudo-older brother.

 

“Stark, play nice or I'll tell Miss Potts!” The director called back from the other side of the main deck of the plane, not even looking up from the table computer with a holographic representation of the Castle. He had a slight amused smirk on his face.

 

There was a chorus of “oooohs” from Black Widow, Hawkeye and even Banner who was looking over screens of schematics and scans, his own amused smirk evident. The Avengers, Earth's Mightest Heroes reduced to children. Even Thor and Sif were laughing.

 

“Shut. Up.” Tony grumbled as he let Holly go. “You'd only win because Jarvis likes you better that me.”

 

“That is correct, sir.” The snarky AI spoke up.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Holly POV**

“Alright Cap, call it.” Tony asked as they stood around the holographic representation of the Fortress. They had landed undetected a few hundred yards from the main grounds, behind a huge rock outcropping. It had been late night when they left the States and now was early morning. They stood outside in the snow and cold to do a final briefing.

 

“Stark, you and Thor cover the outside and the air. If anything comes flying in or tries to fly out, you take it down. Lady Sif and Black Widow, you take the west entrance, be careful, it's a good place for snipers to hide. Hawkeye, you and Mockingbird will take the East Entrance. It opens into a large room so have those arrows ready. Lady Skywalker, you're with me. We're going in through the hanger if Thor and Stark would be so kind to drop us off. We'll all meet up here.” He pointed to the center room. “This was Red Skull's main office and laboratory. If Holly is right about his meglomania, Doom will be there too.”

 

“The rest of us will join you once the way is clear.” Coulson spoke up. “Skye, Fitz and Simmons with Jarvis' help should be able to override whatever program Doom is using to control his Doombots.”

 

“Umm, what about me?” Banner asked. The man looked like he was hopeful that his job would be to get the popcorn ready for the movie back home.

 

“If we need help, Hulk up and smash in.” Holly quipped. “Hopefully you won't need to.”

 

“Exactly.” Steve said with a nod of agreement. “Everyone stay in communication, report anything of consequence. If we don't find anything, we get out, in case it's a trap and lift off.” Then a small smirk took his face. “Then we bomb this place out of existance for old times sake.”

 

In unison, both Holly and Tony said, “Or for fun.”

* * *

 

 

Holly looked around at the mountains surrounding them and the drop off yards away, thankful Thor had been very gentle about dropping her off. It was nearly a sheer drop to the bottom. Snow covered the runway and there was no sign of any kind of defenses. “I don't like this. It's too quiet. There should be some kind of defense this close.”

 

“Agreed.” Steve, no Captain America said, very serious as he began carefully heading down the long runway, his shield ready. His eyes were in constant motion, scanning for danger. She wondered if he almost expected to see the Red Skull waiting for him. Hell, she almost expected to see the maniac herself. She knew very well what this runway had led to and couldn't believe she was there in person. The historian in her was completely fangirling.

 

“Does it look different?”

 

“Not from the outside.” He said tightly, walking quicker and she lightly jogged to keep up. No doubt he just wanted to get in, complete the mission and get out. Touching his earpiece, he spoke to the team. “Stark, what's it like from above?”

 

“Quiet. No one up here but me and Shakespeare.”

 

“Black Widow?”

 

“Doesn't look like anyone is home. Are we sure the intel is right?”

 

“It's quiet over here too. There's equipment, a few weapons but I think they've been here since the last time you were here Cap. I'm seeing really old Hydra stuff but nothing new.” Hawkeye spoke up. “I don't even see any signs of a security system. You know, this is EDT, your Bavarian castle has been broken into, we're sending assistance.”

 

“I have a bad feeling about this, the intel was good. We made sure of it.” Coulson spoke up. “Cap, you make the call.”

 

He didn't even hesitate. “We continue to the meeting point. Stay sharp.”

 

**Steve POV**

Steve sensed the Doombot the moment before Holly did and managed to pull her to his chest and turn his arm so the shield deflected the energy blast. Then he flung out his arm and using the opposite wall, bounced the shield off it and decapitated the bot before catching the shield easily. “We have contact inside the hanger.” He spoke to the team. They had nearly made all the way through the cavernous hanger before encountering the Bot.

 

Holly stepped back, united her saber, twirling it on and taking a defensive stance. “We have lots of contact Cap.” Her eyes flashed with the light of her weapon, scanning the area around her, assessing threats much like she had in her classroom not even a day earlier.

 

He looked and saw the Doombots coming from all round them, weapons drawn, electronic eyes blue. It brought him back to when he had first come to the Castle and been surrounded by Hydra soldiers. Their energy weapons even looked similar. “Confirmed. The bots can cloak themselves. I bet we are all surrounded. Fight to the center folks. Banner, keep your ear open!”

 

**Holly POV**

“Cap, on your 6!” Holly called out, doing a backflip before kicking down a bot and using her saber to decapitate it and then mentally throwing the head through the chest of another bot.

 

“Skywalker down!” She dropped flat to the ground as Steve flung his shield in the direction she had been standing, taking out one bot while one of Hawkeye's arrows took out another. Black Widow and Mockingbird worked together to take out one, Widow using her Bites to fry it while bo staffs were driven though it's head. She was conserving her ammunition.

 

Soon the group found themselves surrounded, facing the open doors of the former laboratory of Johann Schmitt. Doom had been a busy boy, there were easily 200 bots counting the ones already taken down. “If you cover me, I can get behind them and we can break through.” Holly murmured, thanks to the earpieces, the team able to hear every word. The bots had been focusing on Tony any time he left the ground, no doubt programmed to limit one of the main strengths of the Iron Man armor. But they couldn't have much programming when it came to her.

 

“How do you plan to accomplish that?”

 

“With a bit of a boost from Captain America of course.”

 

“You're sure?” Steve asked, looking first at her and then the ceiling over the bots, no doubt figuring the angle he'd need to have the shield at. The ceilings in front of the lab were high, but not limitless.

 

“Come on, I saw the footage of Nat during the Battle of New York. It'll be cake.”

 

“Then we'll do a repeat. I'll cover your back.” Black Widow spoke up, flinging one of her Widow Bites and shorting out a nearby bot.

 

Holly took a running start and jumped onto the infamous shield, Steve easily lauching her into the air, angling the shield so she went up and over instead of just up. She couldn't help her cry of “Wahoo!!” and hoped somewhere Dum Dum was proud to see his niece fighting besides his old friend.

 

“I am not yelling that.” Natasha's flat tone made Holly laugh outloud as she landed on both feet low to the ground, her saber behind her and one hand out to balance herself. God, she missed this shit. The bots seemed confused when she had sailed over them, taking out four before even touching the ground. They didn't seem to understand which direction they should focus in as Natasha landed beside her in the same position, having fried more than one bot on the way over.

 

“Now this is reminding me of Belaruse.” She quipped, as both she and Natasha began attacking the bots before them, working together as the others worked their way toward them.

 

“You would have to bring that up.” Clint said with a sigh, one of his arrows taking out a bot as it tried to move around the two. There was now a clear path to the main laboratory.

 

A quick moving Doombot came out of it's cloak and before Holly could yell a warning, smashed Steve in the chest, throwing him into the far wall. She quickly reacted, turning and easily cutting the machine in quarters, slicing with both blades quickly enough to form an X before it fell apart. Natasha diving between the legs of another one to duck it's swinging arm.

 

She hadn't seen that the bot had been a distraction for another larger one to grab her from out of nowhere. Not keeping her back to the team was a mistake. She didn't panic and fought against it's steel grip, trying to get at it with her blades. It simply crushed her against it's body with one arm, causing her to cry out from the sudden sharp pain while it yanked the saber from her hand and crushed it under it's heavy block feet.

 

It backed to a doorway and she heard the voices over her earpiece shouting that she was being taken. The urge to yell back was pushed down by her training. Conserve her breath for fighting, not talking. Steve had recovered from his impromptu flight into the wall and was running after her, fighting against Doombots that were moving to intercept and keep the team away. “Holly! HOLLY!”

 

Holly struggled as the Doombot tightened it's hold on her as it backed into the laboratory, the doors moving to close of their own volition Her saber was destroyed and her arms were restrained. The more she fought, the tighter the bot's grip was. She couldn't exactly knock it in the stomach or any of the normal self defense moves. She couldn't even reach the gadgets on her belt or backup weapons. She wiggled and kicked as best she could, not knowing just how flexible the robot might be. If she could knock it over, that could be a chance. She couldn't get a sense of it telekenetically. Was it different from the others? Shielded somehow?

 

Suddenly it's arms retracted so that it could grab her with both of it's claw like hands and bodily smash her against a wall and she screamed in pain. She could feel her ribs strain then break and she gasped to breath through the white hot stabbing agony. “Stop struggling scum.” It's mechanical voice commanded. Again, another smash and her head bounced off the stone and her vision grayed as she felt blood coming out of her ear and nose. Great, a concussion.

 

The next events were a bit of a blur. From above them, the Hulk came smashing through only a few yards away and crushed the bot's head with his hand before it could react. The now defunct bot body collapsed and so did she. Then the other bots that had been fighting the team, turned their attention toward them. The door stopped from moving thanks to the combined work of Thor and Tony. “Hulk, look out!” She managed to gasp from the floor, the pain overwhelming as she tasted blood. Punctured lung?

 

Hulk turned and saw the bots and with a strange tenderness, picked her up, holding her against his chest while the bots fired ineffectively against his back. His large hand nearly wrapped around her entirely as he protected her. “Tiny Jedi. Hulk save Jedi.” His voice growled to her as he kept her close.

 

“Thanks.” She managed before giving in to the darkness and passing out.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Coulson POV**

There weren't many things that could get a major reaction out of Phil Coulson. But it was taking everything in his training for him to keep calm as he and his team ran out to where the Hulk had landed, a limp and very injured Holly in his gigantic grip. At the creature's growl, he held out his arms to the team behind him, to slow them. No need to make the Hulk see them as threats.

 

“Hulk, we're friends. Remember? Friends. We want to help Holly. Can we see her?”

 

Hulk regarded Coulson for a moment before taking a few massive steps forward, towering over him. It seemed strange that for someone capable of easily taking on an Asgardian as well as a Chitari army would be so careful. Phil kept his breathing even, his eyes not averting from the Hulk's face. If he showed fear, that could provoke the beast, despite the quiet scientist he normally was. “Help Jedi.”

 

Coulson reached out with both arms and let the Hulk deposit Holly's limp form into his arms, his heart breaking at the sight of blood coming from her ears and nose. He shouldn't have pushed her into this. Why hadn't he seen the entire thing as a trap from the start? Was she going to pay for his mistake? “Yes, we will help Jedi.”

 

May stepped forward. Her eyes were narrowed, her hands fisted the only sign of her distress over her old friend's injuries. “Go smash those robots. Make them pay, Hulk.”

 

The green giant grinned before leaping off back toward the castle.

 

“Director, here, I have a biobed.” Simmons said, pulling the repulsor lift emergency bed behind her. “Oh bloody hell, look at her.”

 

“Concentrate on fixing it, Simmons. Let's get her inside, out of the cold and stable. May, bring up Holly's file, we need her blood type. If we need to, Trip or myself can donate.”

 

Trip looked grim, looking down at Holly in the bed. “The serum will help, won't it, sir?”

 

“I hope so. We'll have to do the rest.” He touched the earpiece in his ear. “Cap, what's your situation in there?”

 

“Last bit of clean up, mostly by the Hulk. There's no Doom here. It was a set up. What's Holly's condition?”

 

“We need to get her out of here. It'd be helpful to have Dr. Banner back to assist Simmons. We're going to have to get to at least Germany to the nearest SHIELD medical center. There's a doctor there we can trust.” He paused and took in Simmons' actions, reading the woman's body language. “We need to hurry.”

 

“You heard him people, Doom isn't here, let's evac.”

 

**Tony POV**

Tony had been around the block a time or two and had seen his share of messed up shit. His childhood wasn't the best, though he was sure it would have been worse if it hadn't been for the Dugans. He'd made his fair share of mistakes. Hell, he'd probably made enough mistakes to account for most of the Eastern Seaboard. But this, almost pushing Holly back into her old lifestyle felt like one of the worst.

 

He looked up at her lying asleep in the medical unit bed of Coulson's plane, bruised and bandaged and knew she would probably kick his ass for feeling guilty. It really hadn't taken much to encourage her back into the hero lifestyle. She was doing it before he was. But looking at her there, all he could see was when she had broken her arm at 12. A break caused by falling off her bike he'd thought for years but turned out to be a break caused while earning her second black belt. Or the dislocated shoulder from a car accident in London that was actually a healing bullet wound when she was barely 19.

 

He'd taken over for Rogers who was getting something to eat at Bruce's insistence. Capsicle hadn't left her side since the whole thing happened. Practically before either, the two had been thick as thieves on the plane. That was something he was going to have to watch. Maybe he hadn't been the best of pseudo big brothers but if Cap was looking at her as something more than another hero, he'd set him straight.

 

“Oh, hello Mr. Stark. I'm just checking on Holly.”

 

“Come on, how many times do I have to tell you? Mr. Stark was my father. I'm Tony. Just Tony. Well not just, but you get the gist. And you're Jemma. Are you like Jem, truly outrageous?”

 

He couldn't help but smile a little at the fluster on the young English doctor's face. “I can be at times, I'm sure.” She checked a few things on her pad and then looked at another machine. “She's going to be just fine you know. You and Captain Rogers don't need to worry. She's healing quite well.”

 

“Shouldn't have to be in here at all.” He grumbled, standing up and stretching. “Can't believe Doom did a bait and switch after all that. Arrogant ass.”

 

“I'm actually not surprised. Why would he want to risk himself when he could just build more robots?”

 

“Excellent point, Dr. Outrageous.”

 

**Holly POV**

The next thing she knew, she was in the medical bay of the Bus from what she could tell, hooked up to machines. She felt her whole body was broken and wondered just how badly she'd been injured. Her face felt tight and her arm heavy in bandages. She felt cold oxygen being given to her via a cannula. She blinked, more difficult with the left being a touch swollen and tried to look around. What happened? Where was everyone?

 

An alert went off and immediately Jemma was at her side. The young English doctor who had bombarded her with questions about the Peggy Carter gave her a gentle smile. “Holly, you're awake! Lovely. How do you feel?”

 

“Like a robot used my body to redecorate?” She groaned, even talking hurt, her mouth and throat dry. Overall, she felt like shit. “What happened?”

 

“What's the last thing you remember?” Without asking, Jemma fed her a few ice chips that felt like heaven.

 

“Banner...the Hulk shielding me from the bots. Where's Bruce? Is he okay?”

 

“Calm yourself. Dr. Banner is just fine. He got you out of the castle and then went back in and did what he does best and destroyed all he could.” Jemma soothed, giving her a few more chips.

 

Relieved, Holly relaxed against the pillows. “He called me Tiny Jedi.”

 

“The creature, the Other Guy as Dr. Banner calls him, isn't terribly vocal but does speak from time to time. He brought you right to us, placed you in the Director's arms and headed back in to smash.”

 

“What about everyone else? Anyone else hurt?”

 

“Everyone is fine. Minor injuries thankfully from such a fight but we were able to defeat Dr. Doom's immediate plans and shut down the remaining bots. I'm sorry to report that Dr. Doom wasn't even at the Castle.”

 

“We'll get him. He'll try again and we'll get him.”

 

Holly turned her head to see Coulson entering the medical bay. “Director. I'm sorry I endangered the team, sir. I should have known I wasn't ready for a fight like this. I'm not an Avenger.” She struggled to try and sit up more, her SHIELD training screaming at her that one did not lounge in a bed, even a hospital bed when addressed by the Director. Her body however wasn't cooperating and her left arm was pretty much useless and she felt so groggy.

 

“At ease. No apologies needed, Holly. You did very well for someone who doesn't normally fight homicidal robots let alone with a team or after 12 years.” Coulson held out his hands to tell her to stop trying to sit up.

 

“Can't help but notice that I'm the only one in the medical bay.”

 

“That was because it seems the bots were programmed to focus on the biggest threat. It seems your skills with your lightsaber were deemed such. I would have to agree, you are quite the swordswoman!” Jemma encouraged with her ever present smile. “They went after you only after you and Black Widow exposed the weakness in their strategy programming.”

 

“But really it's because the rest of us were conscious and stubborn about not needing medical help.” Tony's voice came from the doorway as he sauntered in after Coulson, a rather nasty bruise on his face. “Barton practically broke his ass getting thrown by one of the Bots into Romanov who is still cursing him out in Russian for nearly crushing her. I think it had something to do with his addiction to Krispy Kremes.”

 

His face became serious as he got to her bedside and he took her uninjured hand and affectionately brushed back her hair. “You scared me, Sparky. I don't like being scared. It was almost as bad as that time Coulson didn't wear a tie. The horror!”

 

Holly felt herself choke up. Tony hadn't called her Sparky in years, since she was little. He'd been so proud of how fast she caught on to what she was taught, he said she was so bright that she threw off sparks. “You haven't called me that in a while.”

 

“I haven't exactly been the best honorary brother, the last few years, have I?” His eyes didn't quite meet hers. Tony, for all his egotistical acting was deep down his own worst critic. The perception of ego he gave to the outside world was unconscious compensation for his own self view, no doubt instilled early on by Howard. Thankfully it was nowhere near as bad as it could have been thanks to her father.

 

“You'll always be the best, Ony.”

 

That made the older man's face soften immensely and give her hand a squeeze. When she had first been learning to talk, much to the consternation of her parents, uncle and brother, her first word had been an attempt to say Tony, which ended up being Ony. It stuck.

 

“And in that case, I'd better start showing off.. You are staying at the Tower to recover. No arguments. We have state of the art medical facilities and you'll be bedbound for a while anyway. You can help me create a better saber for you and be with family. Pepper is texting me constantly about when we're going to get you home. She's worried.”

 

Her chest seized up a bit, thinking about even being close to NY after so long. “Tony...I can't...”

 

He leaned in closer, his free hand smoothing back some hair near her forehead. “Sparky, listen to me. I need you to stay for a while. Alright? You don't have to go out into the city or see anything. We'll black out all the windows if need be. Eddie would kick my ass if I just let you head back to California alone. Let me help you. Please.” He spoke quietly and honestly.

 

“Can I think about it? Wrap my head around it at least?”

 

He gave her a nod and she knew no matter what, she was bound for Avengers Tower in NY. But at the very least, she was being given the illusion she had a choice which was more than Tony gave most people. He moved back and returned to his normal self. If there was such a thing as normal for Tony Stark. “It's good to see you awake. Captain Worrywart can finally stop pacing a hole in Coulson's plane.”

 

She furrowed her brow, wincing as she assumed she had a few cuts and bruises that made the motion hurt. “Steve?”

 

“He's been quite concerned for your wellbeing, Holly.” Jemma spoke up. “He sat with you for hours.”

 

“Wait, how long have I been asleep? What happened that would have him that worried?”

 

“Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't tell you. You had a rather nasty concussion that required us to put you in a medically induced coma. Your arm was only strongly contused, the shoulder knocked out of joint. We also had to surgically go in to repair your rather shattered ribcage. And the corresponding internal bleeding and punctured lung. We had to replace 3 of your ribs and part of your sternum at the hospital in Munich. Do you remember Dr. Gruber? After SHIELD fell, he went back to being a civilian surgeon and he did your surgery with Dr. Banner and myself assisting.”

 

“Replace with what?” She was feeling fuzzy as her hand moved and felt her entire midsection covered in medical coverings. Simmons was amusing in her babbling but with as fuzzy as she felt, it was hard to follow along.

 

“Artificial ribs made of adamantium.”

 

That threw her. So now she had some of the most indestructible metal on earth as ribs? Neat.“Okay, thanks, I guess. Where are we? It doesn't feel like we are flying.”

 

“We've been at a former SHIELD base outside of France waiting for you to wake up before we continued back to the States. We didn't want to stay in Munich longer than we had to. There's a chance Doom could have contacts there.” Coulson explained. “You were out a little longer than we expected.”

 

“How long?”

 

“Just 4 days.”

 

She tried to take a deep breath to keep herself calm from all the new information and grimaced as her body protested the movement. “That's why Steve was worried?”

 

“No, he was worried because Commandos are family, remember?” Coulson said gently. “Captain Rogers has taken quite the shine to you and your connection to his past.”

 

“He's just sweet, that's all.”

 

“Sorry, Sparks, Coulson's right. Rogers tends to be a bit of a loner but not with you. Which reminds me, I need to threaten him on behalf of your father, pardon me.” With that, he headed for the door.

 

“Tony!” Holly called out, sounding pitifully weak. “Don't you dare. I will kick your ass, new ribs or not!”

 

“Ooh, did someone say ribs?” Clint sauntered in just as Tony left, dressed in civilian clothes. “Hey Hot Lips. I thought I heard you threatening Stark. Tasha will be happy, it's boring being the only ones doing that.” He moved over to the bed, gently sitting on the edge on her good side, his eyes searching hers. “How do you feel?”

 

“Better than ever. Just wanted to hibernate for a while, see why bears like it so much. You?”

 

He chuckled. “Have I mentioned I've missed you?” He brushed her cheek with his knuckles, the smell of the fletching oil always there a comfort. “Stupid robots had to mess with our fun.”

 

“Yeah, they don't seem to appreciate a good battle and cheat.”

 

“Agent Barton, sir, Holly really does need her rest and I need to go over a few things medically. I will let you know when she can have visitors again.” Jemma spoke up, nervously. Even though SHIELD was in a strange place at the moment, she still regarded him as the senior agent he was. It was obvious in many ways why Coulson had chosen her for his team. It'd be a waste of talent to have her stuck in a lab somewhere.

 

He nodded at Jemma. “Sure doc.” He turned back to Holly. “Alright, you get some rest and I'll make sure Stark behaves himself around Cap. When you are feeling better, you aren't going to believe what gossip I've heard in the last couple days.”

 

“That Bobbi is back with Hunter?”

 

He sighed, looking up to the ceiling in frustration at being out-scooped. “How?”

 

“Body language, silly bird. It's obvious.”

 

He chuckled. “Yep. Missed you.” He leaned in and kissed her forehead. “Rest. I'll let Tasha know you're okay.”

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Holly POV**

Holly woke up again to a quiet medical bay, the lights dim no doubt for her comfort. From a window she could see they were flying again, the clouds large and fluffy. Turning her head, she saw Steve half asleep in a nearby chair, wearing a simple pair of khakis with an old SHIELD tshirt. He looked exhausted. Or as exhausted as a Supersoldier's metabolism allowed. He had a very fine bit of stubble on his cheeks, showing he hadn't seen the need to shave. It said a great deal to her since he'd kept himself clean shaven during the war from all the photographs and newsreel footage she'd seen. His shield was right by his side.

 

She closed her eyes and swallowed, her throat tight and dry. The extra oxygen that was helping her weakened body was also drying her out. She pulled off the tubing, rubbing at her dry nose with the back of her hand. Looking over at Steve, she figured the man deserved some rest and resolved that she could get her own drink of water if she was careful. She knew better than to try and telekenetically bring the water over. She'd done that before when she was on heavy pain medications and it hadn't been pretty.

 

Thankful that her vitals had stabilized enough to where she only had an IV of saline and medication, she carefully tested her legs. She'd been hurt before in the field, including a rather nasty gunshot wound to the shoulder by a very stupid former KGB agent that had tried to attack the English parliament. She'd been with Natasha and Clint at the time and the man had received not just a full clip from his former fellow KGB agent, but two arrows in the chest from Clint for his actions.

 

Slowly, she moved the blankets, thankful that she was dressed in plain pajamas and not a hospital gown. She slid her legs to the side, letting the blood flow from the new position before cautiously moving so that she was standing, but leaning against the bed.

 

Biting back a groan from the pain, she mentally cursed Doom for ever programming his robots to hurt anyone let alone her. She gave herself a long moment before trying to stand up straight and finding that it was a dumb idea. Her healing body wasn't ready for straight, so slightly hunched, she took hold of her IV stand and with the help of her bed, began the trek toward the small sink and the glass nearby.

 

She was almost there but hadn't counted on the bit of turbulence messing with her already hesitant balance. She didn't fall, but had ended up managing to keep herself up with the help of a wall. Normally, it wouldn't have meant anything. She'd been uninjured and lost her balance before and had a wall keep her up.

 

This time, it was her bad side and against her arm that was nearly purple from bruising and the side that had three new shiny ribs and corresponding sutures and things. She shrieked from the pain and felt her vision snow.

 

“Holly!”

 

Steve was at her side in seconds, shield in hand, no doubt a habit. It was only thanks to him that she didn't collapse onto the floor or rip out her IV in the process. The pain was overwhelming and she struggled not to pass out. She grunted as Steve lifted her up in his arms, using his shield as something akin to a backboard so as to not to force her healing body to stretch or bend in ways it wasn't ready for.

 

“Holly, what were you thinking, doll?” His voice sounded slightly frantic as he moved to a nearby communcations panel and used his elbow to activate it. Even through the pain, she made note that he'd called her doll. Absently she wondered if anyone had ever called her that before. “Dr Simmons, we need you in the medical bay as soon as possible!”

 

Gripping at his tshirt with the hand of her good arm, she focused on her fingers to try and keep the nausea away her pain was causing. She was not going to throw up in front of or on Captain America if it was the last thing she ever did. She wanted to answer the question. “Thirsty.”

 

He sighed, looking to the ceiling. “Why does this make me think you are more like Dum Dum and Stark than you will ever realize?”

 

Swallowing, she weakly flicked him in his muscled chest with her fingers. “Bite me, Captain Crunch.”

 

Before Steve could respond, Jemma had run into the room, quickly followed by Banner and Coulson. “Oh! Oh dear! What happened?”

 

“Someone decided she could walk across the room for a drink. Lost her balance.”

 

“Plane threw me, not my fault. Tell May to stop doing air donuts.” She gasped as the pain didn't seem to want to stop. It throbbed with every shallow breath. She blinked confused. “My side feels wet?”

 

“Oh bloody hell, your stitches!” Jemma ran for whatever she needed. “Captain Rogers, could you please lay her back on the bed? Dr. Banner, can you assess the wound while I gather materials?”

 

Holly kept her jaw clenched, every moment making her want to scream. Steve had moved down by her feet on her good side after putting her down and apologizing profusely for the pain it seemed to cause. One look at him told her that she had hurt herself, his shirt had blood on it. His eyes were full of concern as were Coulson's as the director took her good hand in both of his after quicky putting the oxygen back under her nose. “Holly, focus on me. Not on the pain. Just like May taught you. You control the pain. Don't let it control you. Focus on breathing.”

 

She barely managed a short nod as Banner came over and apologized before lifting up her shirt enough to see the damage she'd caused to herself. “Doesn't look too bad. A suture or two might have popped. We should do an xray just to be safe.” He looked to Holly with gentle eyes. “Don't worry Holly. You'll be just fine in no time.”

 

“Already charging the portable. Director, Captain, we'll need you to step outside.”

 

Coulson gave her hand a squeeze before moving as directed but she reached out to grab Steve's hand as he moved to follow. “Sorry. Sorry about your shirt.” She couldn't believe she'd bled all over him like that.

 

Steve looked down, apparently not even realizing he'd gotten blood on it. “I'm not worried about the shirt, Holly.” As almost an afterthought, he gave her hand a tiny squeeze. “I'll let Stark know you are alright.”

 

**Steve POV**

To help Holly deal with being back in NY, albeit not really her choice, Banner had given her a strong anxiety medication which on top of her other medications had knocked her out completely. It had made the transfer from the QuinJet to the medical floor of Avengers Tower that much easier for her. The last thing her healing body needed was a panic attack.

 

Stark and the Asgardians had accompanied Coulsen and his team to a safe landing area for The Bus before they joined everyone at Avengers' Tower.

 

“Steve!”

 

He'd been focused on the elevator doors closing, taking Banner, Simmons, Natasha and Barton up to medical with the unconscious Holly. He looked up to see Pepper's slim form hurrying over to him. “Hello Pepper.”

 

The strawberry blonde was quick to give him a hug and he decided after the last few days, he deserved to give in to it a little. Pepper had always been kind to him, even with Tony's teasing that she had made Steve her own personal puppy dog. She was a sweet woman and an intensely strong person, not to mention patient to deal with Tony, especially romantically. “How are you? Tony and Phil told me what's been happening. I can't believe you had to go back to that place! Are you alright?”

 

Of course Pepper, like Holly would immediately show concern for his mental well being when it came to Castle Kaufmann. Both women were very intuitive. “Yeah, I'm okay. It's just a place.”

 

“But you're bothered by how the mission went?”

 

He sighed. “Holly could have been killed. One of her broken ribs could have pierced her heart instead of her lung. Or tore open an artery.” He ran his hand through his hair. “She could have died.”

 

“And how is that your fault?”

 

“She was pushed into participating in the mission. She wanted to help me deal with being back there. I should have said no.”

 

Pepper gave him a smiled before tucking her arm in his and leading him to the elevator. “Steve, you should realize that Holly is very much like Tony in that no one can truly push her to do anything she doesn't want. Tony only arranged things with her classes after you were all enroute, despite what he may have said.”

 

“Oh.”

 

She nodded. “I know he wants her to stay, but I don't know if she'll be willing. Not because she was hurt and would want to escape back to California but because I think it's easier for her not to deal with the grief and trauma from September 11th.”

 

“We could try to help her, couldn't we?”

 

A smile graced her lips. “My thoughts exactly.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Holly POV**

A few days later, Holly found herself in a specially made wheelchair that had no wheels but floated with the use of repulsor technology first invented by Howard Stark. It was like a portable recliner, form fitting and responding to her commands, allowing her to move around as she needed. Tony had told her that after everything with the Chitari Invasion, in addition to building suit after suit of Iron Man armor, he'd also dabbled more in medical and recovery technology. Then after Pepper had been given Extremis, he'd widely expanded the medical section of Stark Industries to try and find a way to purge the whatever it was from his girlfriend's body. But strangely, unlike most the other subjects who'd ended up imploding or going insane from the procedure's effects, Pepper's body seemed to simply accept it. It worked out since any process for removing it was more complicated with how it had melded with her DNA.

 

Figured that it would be something that Tony helped perfect while drunk.

 

Now she was using that tech to join Tony and Bruce, as he insisted, in their Playroom as they called it, giving feedback on their plans to build her a new saber that would last a bit longer than the last one. Her condition had improved enough that Banner thought she could handle seeing more than just the medical floor or her own loft apartment that took up half a floor itself.

 

“We should do something so that if it gets knocked away from you, it comes right back to you. Like Thor can call for his hammer from whereever it might be. We've been working on something similar for Cap.” Bruce commented, glasses low on his nose as he reached up to the holographic representation and opened up it's inner casing. “DNA recognition?”

 

“Wouldn't someone just need to get their hands on my blood or skin cells to get a hold of it? All they'd have to do is take my hair brush and I'm in trouble.”

 

“Good point.”

 

“Easy kids. We just inject nanites into her that are connected to her sabers and respond to her commands. Program them to respond to brain signals as well as proximity of the saber, her blood pressure, breathing, etc.”

 

“So her saber comes to her the moment her body begins to react to danger?” Bruce questioned, bringing up another screen showing prototype nanites.

 

“Or if I have a rather spicy burrito.” She snarked, grinning as Tony flipped her the bird. “Argue your case, boy genius.” It was something that her father would always say when the kids got into an argument or even when agents didn't agree with each other on how to handle a situation. Argue your case.

 

“You can't call me boy, I'm older.” He moved his hands to push away the holographic saber and then brought up a screen. “Watch the footage from the fight in Bavaria. We can create a new saber that reacts to proximity threats as well as being separated from you.”

 

Holly watched the fight from Tony's point of view in the Iron Man suit, commending herself silently at how well her vault behind the Bots had gone, the machines going down before her feet had even touched the ground, even faster when Natasha joined her. She noted how quickly she took out the bot that had thrown Steve but her heart pounding as she saw the other coming up behind her. The bot was massive on top of strangely stealthy. There was no way she could have broken free. The sound of her shriek of pain and the sight of her saber being yanked away and destroyed as the bot moved backwards toward the room beyond, other bots moving to keep the group from rescuing her. She saw everyone redoubling their efforts, Clint using concussive arrows, Natasha smashing one bot with the arm of another while Bobbi used her bo staffs to smash the face of another, Thor and Sif moving together to take out bot after bot. The bright light from the hands of the Iron Man suit as Tony blasted one bot after another.

 

“We have to get her before they can close the doors! Stop the doors!”

 

She could see the information from Jarvis and the point of view focusing on getting to the doors, Tony taking one side and Thor the other with Sif defending. What really intrigued her was how Steve was fighting like he was possessed, furiously smashing robots, teeth gritted. “HOLLY!” A throw of his shield and another shout. “BANNER! Get in here now! They have Holly!”

 

She watched as she could see herself getting thrown up against the wall and gasped at the sound of her own scream of pain before watching her head be bounced off the wall. It was painful to watch and her arms unconsciously wrapped protectively around her midsection. She was still bruised and aching, but felt infinitely better than she had when she'd been on The Bus.

 

She had vague memories of what had happened next, but to actually see them was another thing all together. The whole team moved as one, Thor and Sif yelling in rage and the sight of seeing the repulsor blast from the arc reactor in Tony's chest take out six bots at once, Jarvis taking charge of the suit for a moment then from the readout on the screen as Tony was angrily yelling “Motherfucker, get away from my sister!”

 

Back during their days of Strike Team Delta, there was a place that each of them could get to when it came to defending each other if they were hurt or in serious danger. They'd joke and call it going “Full Delta” but in reality, it was a brutal, mindless place where all your focus was getting to your teammate and making the enemy pay for whatever transgressions, usually in a very painful and often fatal way. Now, both Natasha and Clint had the look of going Full Delta and neither were holding back as they fought in tandem with Bobbi who covered their backs as they had tunnel vision on their objective, getting to her.

 

Steve's reaction was a very profound enraged, NO as he fought against the seemingly overwhelming tide of bots that threatened to swarm the team. She wondered if this was the Cap that Uncle Dum Dum had talked about, the more serious, more determined one that had existed after Bucky had fallen from the train, seemly to his death.

 

Strange, how seeing the group react to her being taken and hurt made her almost feel warm inside. She could understand Nat, Clint, Bobbi and Tony reacting because they knew her. Steve hadn't known her a day, the Asgardians only a few hours.

 

Then, out of nowhere, green came down through the roof. The Hulk. She watched as he took out the bot that had taken and smashed her and then cradled her to his chest before turning his back to the blasts from the robots that'd been fighting the team before leaping out of sight.

 

Tony stopped the video then. He turned to her. “Sparky, I'm sorry. I just meant to focus on your saber. You didn't need to see that.” She could seen the genuine concern in his eyes. Coulson had commented that few people ever saw that side of Tony. It was always a little strange to her to hear that because this was the Tony she'd always known. She knew about his drinking problem and womanizing before Afghanistan, but whenever she was around, he always focused on her as much as he could. She was one of the few people besides Pepper who could just hang out in his working playroom and he had no issue with it.

 

Unless you messed with his music, which Holly did on purpose just to be a pain in the ass. Nothing beat the day when she'd had his music go from alternative grunge to Broadway showtunes and he'd been working so intently, he didn't realize until he caught himself singing under his breath to one of the songs from Chicago.

 

She shook her head, pulling herself back from the trauma of that fight and forced herself to move her arms. That was the past and she was safe and healing now. “You called me your sister.”

 

He gave her a gentle smile and moved over to put a kiss to her forehead. “Because you are, you twerp. Maybe not by blood, but by everything else that matters.”

 

She smiled and carefully leaned forward to kiss his cheek. “Love you too, Ony.”

 

When he moved back she held her hand out to Bruce who took it very gently for a man who could become an 8 foot tall green raging Hulk. “Thank you again for saving me. I know you don't like letting the other guy out if you can help it. I'm sorry you had to.”

 

Bruce shook his head, taking off his glasses. “No apologies. I'd do it again. So would The Other Guy. He's fond of Tiny Jedi.” He put his glasses back on. “Sorry, I sound schizophrenic, but he's always there and likes to make his opinions known. I'm sorry we didn't get there faster.”

 

“Which is why we are going to make the ultimate saber so we can prevent this in the future.” Tony seemed practiced at deflecting Bruce's inherent need to put himself down because of the Hulk.

 

Holly nodded. Then there was a gentle prod at her good shoulder. She turned to see that Tony's very first AI bot, U, nicknamed Butterfingers, was holding a throw blanket in it's claw. It squeaked at her and then squeaked again with an inquisitive tone. “Aww. Thank you Butters! Such a sweet bot. Good Butters.”

 

She wasn't cold, but took the throw anyway just to make the bot happy. He had probably seen her wrap her arms around herself and his logic programming led to the conclusion she was chilled. He wasn't the smartest AI out there but had a sweet personality, which was amazing considering Tony built him in his 20s at the height of his ego. The bot trilled a happy tone before rolling out of the room.

 

“You shouldn't encourage him like that, Holly. He's practically a rolling scrap heap.”

 

“Tony! Don't talk about your first child like that. You know I've always loved U and DUM-E. Don't forget that he saved your life!”

 

He sighed, letting his head drop. “I know, I know. Must you remind me?”

 

She smirked. “Must you need reminding?”

* * *

 

“Hey Hot Lips, how ya feeling?”

 

Holly looked up from the pad in her lap to Clint perched at the top of the stairs leading to the secondary lounge area of the Assembly floor. Holly felt the need to get out of her own apartment but didn't want to bother anyone with whatever they were doing. It was much easier now to move around than it had been only two weeks earlier. She figured sitting in the more public area would lead to some company. She'd be right. “I'm alright. Just taking it easy, per Dr. Banner. I didn't realize you were back.”

 

Clint nodded, vaulting the steps and landing on the floor in a crouch, no doubt having been perched up there observing for a few minutes before speaking. He made his way over to her and plopping down on the couch careful to not jostle her too much but at the same time slouching like a teenager. Clint took advantage of time when he wasn't on a mission or fighting to just relax. “Yeah, Nat and Rogers are still in Washington with Coulson's team. They didn't need me for the time being so I took a Quinjet back to see how you were.”

 

“Aww, thanks. That's sweet. I'm alright. Thankful that Bruce felt I was okay enough to move around on my own. I was getting a bit stir crazy.”

 

Clint nodded. “Yeah, that's one doctor you don't dare to argue with.”

 

“Apparently the Other Guy likes me, so I think I'm good. Bruce is a good man. I feel bad at how scared people are of him. The Hulk isn't bad, it isn't trying to do bad things. It's just....pure reaction. Like how you and Nat instantly killed that guy who shot me in London. I barely had time to realize I'd been shot and you'd gotten him and Nat emptied a clip into him.”

 

Clint sighed, turning a bit on his side and gently touching the scar of that encounter, the cut of her tank top showing it. His brow furrowed, his fingertips typically rough from using his bow. “That's not something I like to think of, Hols.”

 

“Or Uganda?” That had been another time they'd found themselves in mortal danger. It had been something that she'd thought of a few times in the last few days, being back in the fight, having to be rescued. The potential for a very messy and painful death. Of course Uganda could have also led to a very traumatic fate for herself and she'd always be thankful to Clint for being willing to sacrifice himself to make sure that never happened.

 

He looked down and then looked back. His eyes were serious, intimate. Uganda wasn't something they would ever bring up in front of other people. “You know I don't regret Uganda. Do you?”

 

She shook her head. “No. Not at all. You know that.” She nudged him so he would move and she followed so she was more resting against him, glad to be able to spend some time with one of her best friends again. The smell of leather and the oil he used to treat his bow strings was strangely comforting, probably because of it's familiarity. It was something that stuck around even when he was wearing jeans and a flannel. “Thankfully I have very few regrets in my life.”

 

“Not even Bavaria? Hols, that fucking bot could have killed you. Scared the shit out of me.” He hugged her gently, careful not to jar her or squeeze too tightly, his head resting against hers. “That Doom prick is going to get my entire quiver one by one when we get the chance to get at him in person for that.”

 

She chuckled, imagining Doom as Clint's target back in the center ring of the circus Eddie had recruited him from. Tied to a giant wheel that spun as Clint shot at him. “I'm alright, Clint. Honest . You don't need to go caveman archer, even though it's very sweet that you want to.” She patted his hand. Always her protector, no doubt something Eddie had ordered him to be when they had first been paired together. She lost count of the number of times he instinctively pushed her behind him when someone started shooting at them on missions. It used to get her so angry but now, she understood.

 

“Doesn't change anything. Just a matter of who gets to him first. Me, Nat or even Stark. Hell, didn't Jarvis take over the suit and use the chest repulsor?”

 

Holly smiled, remembering the video. Tony trusted the AI implicitly and while most people wouldn't understand it, Iron Man really was the both of them. “He did. He's such a loving nephew.”

 

“Hols, you know it's weird that you think of a computer program as a nephew, right?”

 

“Clint, come on. You should know better. Jarvis isn't a program. He's a person just without a physical form. You weren't there when Tony first created him or seen him grow and get his own personality and sense of self. It was just like with a person, just without diapers and with access to all human knowledge. He has emotions and feelings, likes and dislikes.” She sat up a little. “Jarvis, knows he's family to me, right?” She spoke out to the room.

 

“Of course, Holly. I've always been very thankful for that.” The AI responded.

 

“Sorry Jarvis, I didn't mean to offend you.” Clint said sheepishly. “We're good, right?”

 

“Of course, Agent Barton. My status as an individual is not traditional, to be sure. I appreciate the apology.”

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews make me happy. Have suggestions? Please tell me.

**Holly POV**

“I just don't understand how SHIELD could justify injecting anyone with any amount of the Super Soldier serum after everything that happened with Schmitt, with me or with Blonsky. What were you thinking?” Bruce threw his hands up in the air and walked a few steps away, breathing out of his nose. He took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose as if the very thought of SHIELD using the serum was giving him a migraine.

 

He'd been researching why Holly had healed much quicker than someone else would from the injuries she'd sustained and discovered that there was a little bonus to her DNA. A portion of Super Soldier serum, nearly a half dose. He'd asked her up to the lab for a checkup and confronted her with the lab results. She'd confirmed that when she was 14 and made an agent, she'd volunteered to be dosed. Bruce's accident had only happened 2 years earlier.

 

“Bruce, listen to me okay? I've read most of Erskine's research and his theories as well as that of Tony's dad about what happened with the Serum that made Steve Captain America but made Schmit the Red Skull or Blonsky the Abomination. They all had the full dose or in Blonsky's case, nearly 2 doses. And his wasn't the exact kind of dose that Steve had, it was a poor rushed duplicate. Erskine believed that the serum enhanced whatever was already there. In Steve's case, it allowed his inner strength to come out, his noble nature and quick mind. That's why he chose Steve for the program. For Schmitt, it just made his ego and madness worse on top of the fact the serum wasn't ready. And with Blonsky, he was nothing but a sociopath, near psychotic who enjoyed killing. What he became showed that.” Of course all that had happened years later after she'd been injected.

 

“And me? What does the Other Guy say about me?” He turned back, his lips a firm line.

 

Her heart broke at the sad tone in his voice. She knew that having something like the Hulk within you had to make you question who you were or what kind of person you were. She reached out and took his hand, Bruce nearly jumping, not used to much contact anymore with people so afraid of him and what he became. “Bruce, you once said that your secret was that you were always angry. I read your file years ago. I know what a true monster your father was. What he did you to you and your mother. To be exposed to that kind of violence so young on top of having a high IQ, it's going to give you some understandable issues. The Hulk, more than anything is just your primal instinctual rage, your overly developed defensive mechanism. He lashes out because you can't. Because when you were a kid, you couldn't. He isn't bad. I know you want to think that because you ended up breaking Harlem that the Hulk is evil, but he isn't.”

 

Bruce sighed and looked up. He let out a weak chuckle. “Funny. He agrees with you.” He shook his head. “I just can't trust that somehow someone will get badly hurt because of him. Like Natasha back on the Carrier.”

 

“I don't think the Hulk would have really hurt her. Then he was reacting out of rage for the suddenness of the attack, of the argument you all had before it and probably proximity to Loki's Pokey Stick of Destiny thing. He doesn't kill because you won't kill.”

 

Bruce chuckled. “I guess that's as good a name for the staff as any. But you're wrong I have killed.”

 

“I know, but it was because you had no other choice and you did it quickly and humanely.” She would have done the same rather than risk the Hulk causing more destruction than was necessary. It was really the only thing he could have done. “Otherwise I know you abhor violence.”

 

“All that beside, I still can't believe SHIELD used the serum.”

 

Holly shrugged. “It worked, didn't it? It doesn't make me a Super Soldier, but it makes me better. I heal faster and my reflexes are better than most.”

 

Bruce sighed. “That's not the point Holly. The dangers! They couldn't have known how the serum would react with your mutant genes! And your age besides!”

 

“I know. But this time, SHIELD did extensive testing and study. They didn't choose people willy nilly.”

 

“Jarvis, please tell me the SHIELD files on those who were given the option to receive the serum doesn't use the term willy nilly.” Bruce said, pinching his nose.

 

“It does not, Dr. Banner. There is a chance that the report was rewritten to exclude that particular technical term though.”

 

Holly chuckled. “Cute Jarvis.”

 

“I aim to please, Holly.”

 

"Besides Bruce. I'm here and alive because of both you and The Other Guy. You've seen the footage from the fight. We both know the others wouldn't have gotten to me in time. They couldn't have taken out the bot that grabbed me before it would have killed me." She waited for him to soak that in and look up. "You both saved my life and I'm thankful for that. You saved Tony's life during the Battle of NY. You both, you and the Hulk save lives. You might break a few buildings in the process, but you know I'm right."

 

He sighed. "You are way too much like Tony."

 

She giggled. "If I had a dollar for every time my dad or my brother said that, I'd probably be in Tony's tax bracket!"

 

**Steve POV**

“Read this.”

 

Steve looked down at the tablet that Natasha was all but shoving into his chest, the Quinjet they were taking back to NY on autopilot at the moment. Clear blue skies filled the winows as they sped through the air toward NY. “What is it?”

 

“Holly's complete SHIELD file. Something tells me you need to read it.”

 

He took the tablet, but didn't look at it yet. “And that something is what?”

 

“You finding any and every reason to not go back to New York until there wasn't anything to keep you away. I think you're avoiding her.”

 

“I am not. We were working, if you didn't notice.”

 

“And Coulson's team could have handled it without us.” She turned in her seat toward him. “You can talk to me, you know. Being friends and all.”

 

“I know.” He mentally cringed, sounding a bit more indignant than he really wanted to be.

 

“You are feeling guilty still that she got hurt under your command. I'm guessing something to do not just with her uncle, but the fact that your old sweetheart was pretty much her mother.” She waved to the tablet in his hands. “Read her file. Sorry to tell you, but she'd got more experience at this sort of thing than you do, even with the extended inactive status.”

 

He looked down at the tablet, Holly's basic stats and a slightly younger picture looking back at him. “I'm not going to invade her privacy.” He looked up to the redhead. “I haven't read your file, you know. I know it's out there, but it's none of my business. It's not fair for me to go poking into Holly's past either.”

 

She gave him a soft amused look. “I appreciate it, Steve, I do. But Holly doesn't have anything to hide, not like I did. I'm sure she assumes that by now, you already read the file. Besides, she trusts me to know what would be best, just like I trust her. You don't hear me say that everyday.”

 

Steve nodded. That much was very true about the young former assassin. “What is it about her that made you trust her? Your time together in Delta?”

 

Natasha gave a hint of a smile. “It was a number of things. Mostly the way that she wasn't afraid of me or wary around me when Clint first brought me in.”

 

“Tell me.”

 

She shrugged, absently looking out the window. “Many agents and pretty much the entire council were calling for Clint's head on a platter when he brought me in instead of killing me like ordered. Assumptions that I was a sleeper agent or that he'd been compromised by me.” She turned back to him. “But Holly didn't make any assumptions. She trusted Clint's judgment, as did her father and brother. She simply came up to me, held out her hand and asked me in Russian which language I preferred.”

 

Steve smiled. He liked hearing Natasha recount a memory from her past that was happy. “You did better than I did, she pulled a gun on me.”

 

“That's probably my influence on her.” A wicked pleased smirk took her lips.

 

“My thought exactly.” He paused. “Do you expect that I'll think differently about her once I read this?”

 

Nat shook her head, her red curls moving along with her. “Not differently. I think you'll understand more. Go ahead. We still have an hour to go.”

 

He read for most of the plane ride. He read about her getting in trouble in elementary school for using some of the self defense she'd been learning at home on her fellow classmates, namely the bullies. That had made him smile, something they had in common was a distaste for bullies. Sadly little Holly probably didn't get her ass handed to her quite as much as he did.

 

At age 10, her hands and feet had to be registered as lethal weapons as she earned her first black belt in mixed martial arts. Her telekenesis began to manifest when she was around 12. She was officially a SHIELD agent at age 14. At 15, she'd been forced to kill a North Korean teenager, sent to try and poison the NYC water supply. It was the first of many kills she'd been forced to make.

 

He read about her life and couldn't blame her for wanting to leave. In just her few years as a SHIELD operative, she was officially credited with nearly 36 kills, either offensive or defensive. That was before she even turned 20. She'd saved countless lives and helped prevent numerous terrorist attacks, including one in England where she had been shot. He wondered if part of her aversion to being in New York again had to do with being faced everyday with the one terrorist attack that she hadn't been able to prevent. Something akin to the sick feeling he got whenever he thought of the Nazis and the 6 million lives they took while he was chasing Schmitt all over Europe.

 

Her medical history was extensive. Natasha had been right, she'd been injured before and had come back from her injuries every time. The notations to each injury noted most were caused by her going beyond her orders or by something wholly unexpected. One nasty knife wound was caused by her trying to defend a hostage, resulting in 17 stitches across her shoulderblade. Another was a bullet graze across her calf that she earned physically tackling a fellow mutant who'd been part of a mutant rights rally that'd turned into a small riot when anti-mutant protesters arrived.

 

He was surprised to learn she was one of the few SHIELD agents who had been willfully injected with a weak version of the Super Soldier serum. Enough to help them heal from injuries better than most with less lasting effects with the potential to marginally increase reflexes and strength. That much he had seen when they fought together but at the time had thought nothing of. Barton had superior reflexes without being a supersoldier. He remembered being told about how they had tried to recreate the Super Soldier program with disastrous results, namely in what happened to Banner and some soldier named Blonsky that led to the Hulk fighting something that was officially designated the Abomination. Apparently if it was given to the right person in a weak enough form, it was safe.

 

In addition to her combat skills, she'd also managed to graduate with honors from the Julliard Music School where she'd worked undercover using her real identity. The file also included her achievements after leaving SHIELD, including getting her PhD in American history and authoring four different books. He wondered how much of an influence Tony was, her accomplishments making him think of the billionaire's vast genius and manic personality.

 

He read her reviews, the initial one being written by Fury himself. Again and again she was praised as a model operative. She wasn't one to cause collateral damage but wasn't afraid to risk her own to save others. She was ever trying to learn new skills and assist fellow agents in honing theirs. He watched numerous taped sessions where she wiped the floor with male agents who judged her simply for her gender. He smiled after she pinned one such agent, thinking how proud Peggy must have been. She was well on her way to being one of the top operatives in SHIELD.

 

When she'd stepped away from SHIELD, she'd been level 7. He noticed that Coulson had recently elevated her to level 9, the highest clearance reserved only for his personal team and the Avengers with level 10 reserved for himself as director. She was also marked as an active specialist. He wondered if that was Coulson or Holly, determined not to run back to being a professor after being brought back into the fight.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Steve POV**

When they arrived back in the Tower, Jarvis told them Holly was in her apartment, which just happened to be right below Steve's. As they stepped off the elevator, the sound of a familiar piece of cello music drifted down the hall and he couldn't help but smile. It brought memories of getting ready for school in the morning, being surprised with the occasional treat of an orange or bacon with his morning oatmeal.

 

At Natasha's curious look, he explained. “My mom liked this when it played on the radio. She liked classical music in the morning.”

 

She nodded and they made their way down the hall to Holly's apartment. She shared the floor with Natasha and Clint, who shared quarters but no one really brought any attention to it. They'd had separate places initially but it hadn't lasted long. He wondered if it was done purposefully, to make Holly feel more comfortable and at home to have her old partners nearby.

 

They reached the doorway that was open to find Holly facing them, a huge cello in front of her. Her eyes were closed and he was intrigued by how easily she played, the key to making the beautiful melody a complete mystery to him. He remembered listening to Bucky play on the piano and how effortless he made it seem.

 

They both stood in the doorway listening tor a while before Natasha nudged him and motioned that she was going back to her apartment. He nodded and the redhead left, leaving him alone in the doorway.

 

The piece came to an end and Holly seemed to wait for the final note to dissipate before she let her arm holding the bow drop. Her eyes were still closed as she rolled her left shoulder, the one that had been dislocated when she'd been slammed into the wall by the Doombot.

 

“Is playing that a form of physical therapy?”

 

She opened her eyes to see him standing there and for a moment, she looked utterly surprised and a touch embarrassed that he'd again been right there without her knowing it. “Yeah, I guess it could be considered that.” She stood up, easily hefting the huge instrument over to a stand next to a piano. “Come on in. I didn't know you were back.”

 

He stepped in as invited, closing the door behind him. “Natasha and I just got in. You play beautifully.”

 

She smiled a little and did a small curtsy. “Thank you.”

 

“How are you feeling? You look like you are feeling much better.”

 

She shrugged, heading over to her kitchen area, her entire apartment a large loft, much like his own above. The windows took up one entire wall and he was glad to see that as much as she hadn't wanted to be in New York, she wasn't having difficulty looking out onto the city. That much was good. “Bruce has cleared me for the most part. I'll spend some time with Clint and Natasha, getting my flexibility back, my balance.”

 

“Why would your balance be off? The concussion?”

 

A shake of the head. “The new ribs.” She put her hand to her side. “It's not a lot, but it does change a bit how I move and everything. I can still feel the difference, from one side to the other.”

 

“But everything has healed?”

 

She nodded. “Funny how that serum helps, huh?”

 

He blinked. She already knew he'd read her file? “How did you know?”

 

“Natasha told me she was going to make you read my file if she had to have to tie you down.” She giggled. “Don't test her on that, by the way, she'll do it.” She opened her fridge and tossed a bottle of water over one shoulder that he easily caught before taking a seat at the breakfast bar that faced her kitchen. “Anything surprise you?”

 

“Well the fact that you have the serum did surprise me a bit. I didn't realize SHIELD had done that.”

 

She took her own bottle of water and after closing the refrigerator, opened it and took a long drink. “It was just after everything happened with Bruce. Believe me, he realized it a couple weeks ago and was none too pleased. I knew the risks going in, so did my brother. My dad wouldn't have allowed them to do it if he thought either of us would be in danger. It was more of a protective measure. It made both of us heal faster and move a bit faster.”

 

“And I would guess increased your agility too?”

 

“A bit. Training does a great deal, as well as genetics. Our mother was...well my father said she moved like flowing water.”

 

Steve smiled. “So does his little girl.”

 

She looked away, a soft smile on her face. “I try.” She looked back to him. “Does it bother you that I have the serum?”

 

“No, why would it? That was what, 1994? I was lost in the North Atlantic. I know Natasha has a form of it and they must have given Bucky some kind of it when they had him back in 43 and then after. I'm glad it helps you. That's what Dr. Erskine meant for it, I think. To help people. Let others help people.”

 

“Yeah, it does.” She took another drink, leaning against the kitchen counter. “Anything come of your time away? Any news?”

 

He looked down at the counter, absently drawing circles with the condensation from his water. “No, not really. As far as we can tell, Doom hasn't left the borders of his nation. If he has Hydra contact, we couldn't find it. Coulson's looking into the chance that Pierce might have done a backroom deal with Doom before SHIELD fell.”

 

“What if he just took advantage of what he could find at the castle? I mean, the SSR was good in how they dealt with dangerous materials and 084s, but someone like Schmitt would have had secret rooms, little hideaway spots for just such an occasion.”

 

Steve nodded, thinking of the madman and his final moments. At least what he hoped were his final moments. What if the Tesseract hadn't killed him but had transported him somewhere just like it had brought Loki and the Chitari to Earth? Could Schmitt still be alive somewhere?

 

He jumped a little when a small hand covered his own. “Earth to Steve. You in there?”

 

He nodded, clearing his throat and taking a drink. “Sorry, just thinking.”

 

“About Schmitt?”

 

“Yeah. Hoping that he didn't manage to luck out like I did. I honestly don't know what the Tesseract did to him.”  
  


“And you're afraid that he could be out there somewhere?”

 

He nodded, embarrassed. 70 years later and that maniac was still affecting his life.

 

“I would be too, to be honest. From everything I learned about him when I was growing up, he was utterly insane. The kind of insane that can cause a lot of hurt. But you know what? Doesn't matter if he was still alive. He wouldn't accomplish anything or even get near you. The Avengers would kick his ass. And I'd be right alongside them getting in a few hits.”

 

Steve smiled a little. “Maybe get the Hulk to put another crater in the floor of Tony's penthouse?”

 

Holly giggled. When the Hulk had literally smashed Loki into the floor, Tony had had the spot covered with plexiglass instead of fixed and placed a plaque reading “Loki Slept Here”. Part of it, Steve was sure, was to remind Bruce that while the Hulk could be dangerous, he could also do a lot of good. It was something Bruce had to be reminded of quite a bit.

 

“I'm sorry I was gone for so long. Natasha accused me of avoiding you out of guilt for you being hurt in Bavaria.”

 

Holly raised a brow. “And?”

 

He shook his head. “No, I wasn't avoiding you. Did I feel bad you got hurt? Yes. But I wanted to track down Doom so he could pay for that. I don't want him to have that kind of power over anyone.”

 

“I understand. If it helps, I didn't feel avoided. Of course I wasn't exactly exciting to be around until Bruce started letting me do more.”

 

“I doubt that. You are a better conversationalist than most people these days it seems.” He gave her a shy smile. “I mean, everyone seems to care more about their phones and texting than talking anymore.” He paused and sheepishly added, “I'm sorry I wasn't here, to help you with being back in NY.”

 

She shook her head, leaning against the counter. “It's alright. It was difficult at first and I had the windows blacked out for a while but I can look out there now. It's not like I ever have to leave the Tower anyway.”

 

His heart sank. She still wasn't dealing with it. “Not even once?”

 

“No.” She turned away, moving back toward the refrigerator. “Are you hungry?”

 

“Holly.” He followed her, knowing she was deflecting the question. She'd made herself a prisoner of the past in Avengers Tower and that didn't sit right with him. He didn't have the chance to know her father but something told him that the last thing the man would want was for his daughter to be emotionally unable to step out into the city that was her home. He had a feeling that with a such a brave personality, she was at war with herself for the inability to do something so simple because of the pain and memory it brought back.

 

“No. Don't Holly me.” She said, opening the fridge and rooting through it. “I never planned on coming back here but being here doesn't mean I have to go out there. As soon as I can, I'm going to leave.”

 

“And is that what your father would want?” He braced himself for her reaction.

 

She whirled, her black hair fanning out around her. “He didn't want to die in a fucking terrorist attack, I know that! I know he would have liked for his son to reach 40! I know he would have wanted to take down SHIELD himself than to let Hydra infiltrate! I know what my father wanted! You never even knew him!”

 

She was near yelling and he held his hands up. He'd had a feeling that this would be a sore spot for her and had been more than ready to get a sock in the jaw for it. “Holly, I'm just saying that hiding here isn't helping. Your pain isn't going to get any better until you face this. Dum Dum wouldn't have let you hide, you know that, don't you?”

 

She looked down at the counter, breathing through her nose to calm herself. “No. He would have thrown me over his shoulder and dragged me out. Black belts be damned.”

 

“That's right.” He took a risk to his own physical wellbeing and reached out, touching her hand, resting on the bar. “We can do it together. Let me help you with this, since I wasn't much of a friend the last few weeks. Please?”

 

After a long moment she let out a sigh. “Fine. Not today though, alright?”

 

“When you are ready.”

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has been reading. Please don't be afraid to comment! I'm curious to know what you think. Also, if anyone knows an artist who is bored and likes drawing action shots...please let me know.

**Steve POV**

Taking a deep breath, her emotions under control, Holly looked up. “I should show you around my apartment I guess.”

 

“A tour would be great. I see that Stark had each apartment done differently. Yours has a lot in common with Clint and Natasha's.”

 

She grinned evilly, her eyes lighting up. And even with that mischievous look, seeing the light return to her eyes did wonders for his spirit. “Aww, did all the weapons scare you?”

 

“To be honest, considering I didn't know exactly the reception I would get, they did a little. I'm going to be apologizing for a while, I hope you know that.”

 

“Figured as much.” She walked around the counter and headed on a counterclockwise direction. “Tony knows I like wide open spaces and natural light, especially in terms of a fight, so my apartment is more of a loft. He brought a lot of this from my house in California. She stopped in front of a large portion of wall that was covered in framed pictures.

 

“Mine is similar. I like open space.” He murmured, taking in the wall of memories.

 

Steve moved closer and saw he was looking at a near biography of Holly's life. Her father and Dum Dum in their uniforms, her mother in Native American garb. Her parents' wedding photo, a small baby boy in her father's lap. One of her father, Howard and their sons. There was a picture of her whole family, parents, Dum Dum and her brother when she was a toddler. It was strange to see Dum Dum as an old man.

 

There was one of her father shaking Fury's hand, perhaps when he retired as Director. Another of Stark with a huge grin, holding her as a baby. Steve theorized that this had to have been close to the time that Howard and his wife were killed. One that made him smile was that of Holly around 8 or so dressed as a Capette, albeit with her own little shield, Dum Dum proudly standing at her side, a cane nearby.Yet another with her wearing Dum Dum's bowler, making an exaggerated serious look while her uncle laughed in the background.

 

Framed near these pictures was the infamous bowler itself and he didn't stop himself from putting his fingers to the glass out of respect. Dum Dum could be a pain in the ass most of the time, but he was a good man to have at your side. The man had saved him more than once, that was for sure.

 

He saw pictures of her taken while she was fighting, of her holding up her SHIELD identification proudly and another standing beside Coulson. He saw her with Maria Hill and Agent May, the three being rarely silly, posed as Charlie's Angels, something Steve was proud he recognized. “I like this one.”

 

Holly grinned. “I still can't believe I got them to pose. We called ourselves Coulson's Angels. I think he has it in his wallet. He was tickled, not that he showed it.”

 

“Stark said you had a very hard time when we all thought we lost him.” Steve watched her face.

 

She looked down at another picture that showed a younger Coulson looking a bit more relaxed with his arm around a formally dressed Holly, around age 15. “I've known him nearly my whole life. He's family. After losing Daddy and Eddie, he stepped up in a major way. I was 19 and was a full fledged agent and legally an adult, but I'd always had them. The one constant in the hectic life of a SHIELD operative. I was lost, I still feel lost at times, without them. This was from an undercover I was doing at a high school in St. Louis. There was a father daughter dance and my dad would have stood out for his age and Eddie looked too young, so he sent in Coulson.” She pointed to another picture taken while they were dancing, the normally stoic Coulson with a smile on his face as Holly was in mid twirl.

 

Among pictures of her father and brother were pictures of her from performances at Julliard, in various outfits, some in mid performance. He'd have to ask her if she minded if he watched some of the recorded performances Stark had mentioned while they'd been sitting by her bedside back at the SHIELD base in France. He was curious to see more of this entertainer side of her now that he'd seen her fight and teach. When did she ever get the time to learn to do all of this?

 

One surprised him, because it showed Holly mid-performance with 5 other women in rather risque costumes for his 1940s sensibilities and one of them he recognized. A much younger Natasha with long blonde hair. “What is this from?”

 

“It's from a musical called Chicago. I only played a minor character in that one and this was the big number for me. We needed someone who could speak either Polish or Russian and do ballet. So I brought in my friend Natalie.” She smiled at it. “Tony didn't even realize that he'd actually seen Natasha before until last year sometime. I'll have to show it to you, no one would expect such a emotional and subdued performance from the infamous Black Widow. It was one of the more fun undercovers she got to do. It might have been the first time she used the name Natalie Rushman, I'd have to ask her.”

 

Nodding, Steve looked at another picture, one of a slightly older Holly, looking a bit battered asleep next to an equally battered looking Natasha, her hair back to red, both still in their dirty torn costumes, on a tiny couch. Natasha was leaning against Holly who had her head on the Russian's shoulder. He pointed to it. “Who was brave enough to take this one?”

 

Holly laughed. “That would be Clint. This was taken in Beirut, I think. He has the original copy and he wrote on the bottom in permanent marker, My Girls. He has it framed in their apartment. Nat won't admit it, but I think she likes it.”

 

Steve laughed. “I guess he would be the only one that would get away with doing that.”

 

He paused as he saw part of the wall was dedicated to Peggy. She had also taken a proud picture with Holly as a Capette, dressed in her old uniform from during the war, the only difference being her hair, a few lines and the presence of a cane. Her eyes were bright and proud though and he smiled. There was no doubt in his mind that Peggy had been an excellent psuedo mother for Holly. “I'm glad Peggy had the chance to be a mother. She loves you a great deal. I visited her, in DC and she gave me the silent treatment for a long time for leaving you while you were recovering. I'm sorry, again, by the way.”

 

“Lucky for you she's 101, otherwise she might have decked you. But yeah, she was the best mom. It wasn't easy, I'm sure. But she and my mother were friends for a long time.” She pointed to a picture of Peggy standing side by side with a beautiful ebony haired woman, ironically dressed in a black catsuit. “It was her way of honoring my mother and helping my dad. He didn't take my mother's death well, as would be expected. And I guess it was her way of dealing with the loss of her friend too.”

 

“Her uniform looks like Natasha's.”

 

A nod. “Actually, it is. Not the exact one, a replica, but Nat took it over at my dad's request.” She turned to him to explain. “Nat was on a totally different mission when she found out through a contact that the Red Room agent who had made her life hell and had killed my mother was nearby. It was her first solo mission for SHIELD and she went off the grid for 3 days to hunt her down.” She paused, looking at the wall. “Ironically, Nat is a lot like my mom and I think my dad saw that. See, my mom was working with the Aboriginal Resistance Movement when she met my father.” She explained when she saw the confused look on Steve's face. “It was like the IRA for Natives. She was very proud of being Lakota and got a bit extreme about it when she was young. And by met my father I should say when he and a team of SHIELD agents broke into where they were keeping their weapon stockpile. He always joked that she had him at the first roundhouse kick to his face.”

 

“And like Clint, your father brought her into SHIELD instead of what he was told?”

 

Holly grinned. “That's the thing, my dad was director at the time, this was around 1961. Peggy had just stepped down. He gave the orders and occasionally would go on missions, just like Peggy did. Dum Dum was furious at first, but my dad was always the thinker of the family. And he was right about her. Just like Clint was about Nat.”

 

She had them move on, showing off the weapons, her music area and then bringing him over to what she called her office. It was an alcove created out of bookshelves surrounding a large desk covered in more books and papers. He moved to look at the books on the shelves, noting three had her listed as the author and stopped when he saw a book titled Captain America: Legend & History.

 

Curious, he picked it off the shelf, the cover being one of him taken in his old uniform with the Commandos surrounding him, including Peggy. He couldn't remember where they had posed for that. Then he saw the author, Dr Holly Dugan, PhD. He looked up to see her watching him intently. “You wrote a book about me?”

 

**Holly POV**

She nodded before speaking, feeling a slight blush to her cheeks. “I figured that thanks to Dum Dum, Peggy and the other Commandos, I was the only one who really could and do it justice. To show that you were a real man and you hadn't fought alone. That you were more than just some publicity gimmick or hero in a radio drama for kids. For a long time, there were people who thought that you had just been an actor and that your strength shown during the War Bonds Tour was just a trick.” Her hands waved in a slightly nervous manner. It wasn't everyday you had to explain to someone that you wrote a book about their life. “It was partly Coulson's idea, he helped with a good amount of it.”

 

He looked back at the book and opened it, stopping at the dedication page.

 

_For Dad and Eddie, who honored Captain America's legacy on September 11, 2001_

_For Peggy, Dum Dum and the Howling Commandos, Wahoo!_

_For James “Bucky” Barnes who gave the last full measure for not just for his nation but for his fellow man._

_For Steve Rogers who is still out there somewhere._

 

He looked up at her. His eyes were bright and honest. “Thank you for recognizing them and not just me.”

 

“You can have that if you want, I'm curious as to what I got wrong. My publisher was pushing me to do another edition since you've been found.” Pushing was a very light term. More like harassing but well intentioned. Mostly. It probably would have been worse if her publisher didn't know Holly's past given that he'd been an analyst for SHIELD before retiring.

 

“Do you want to do one?”

 

His curiosity surprised her, but then again, he probably didn't truly realize the way the media had all but taken over the world since his time. She knew that he understood the internet and such, but the scale of it was probably still a bit baffling. “I don't know. Maybe. After we find Bucky, then I can include him.”

 

His eyes softened. “We?”

 

“How many times do I have to tell you, Cap? Commandos are family.” She paused and smirked. “Plus he could tell me some really embarrassing stories to include.”

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a lot to do with 9/11, fair warning.

**Holly POV**

“Hey kiddo. Whatcha workin' on?”

 

Holly looked up from her desk to see Tony lounging against her apartment door which she felt no real need to lock. She trusted everyone who had access to the residence floors. Besides the fact that Jarvis could easily bar entrance for anyone in case she was asleep or showering. “Hey Tony. Just some stuff for my class. Little shits think I'm going to let them coast because I'm on the other side of the nation.”

 

He chuckled. “Stupid kids.” He stepped inside, absently looking around, seeing how she decorated. “I like what you've done with the place. Do you like it?”

 

“It's very nice, thank you. I like all the light and open space.”

 

“Pepper mentioned that you don't black out your windows anymore.”

 

She put down her pen and shrugged, turning to look out at the lights of the city briefly before turning back to her guest. “Yeah. Took a couple weeks.” She paused and looked up at her billionaire pseudo brother. “Tony, what's going on?”

 

“Why does something have to be going on? I just wanted to come down and see you. See how you are settling in.”

 

There it was. “Settling in? Tony, are you trying to find out if I plan on staying?”

 

He sat down in the armchair near her desk in a slump and shrugged. “Maybe.”

 

She sighed. “Tony, I have a life out in California.”

 

“No, you have classes you teach and a house near the beach. That's not living Holly. You know how well I know you kid. The last few weeks, even with you getting hurt, have been the first real glimpses of the Holly I used to know before when I didn't know what you did and stuff.” He waved his hand. “You know what I mean. You aren't unhappy here.”

 

“No, I'm not.”

 

“And with Capsicle's return? Couldn't help but notice you didn't slug him. Bit unfair.” Of course he would have to bring up the fact that when he'd returned from his captivity in Afghanistan, she'd been waiting at his house in Santa Monica. And promptly backhanded him, screamed at him for being such a moron and breaking down because he had been all she had left of her family and she thought she'd lost him. Maria had shown up at her house in LA and brought up Coulsen and then told her he was alive but didn't know he'd actually died and then he'd been standing there in her living room. She'd reacted close to the same as she had with Tony's return.

 

She pursed her lips. “You were presumed dead in Afghanistan for 3 months and Coulson was reported dead for longer. You both deserved it. Steve just....needed time. We talked, he apologized 15 times, it's alright.”

 

Tony raised an eyebrow. “Just alright?”

 

“For now. It's not a huge deal. He just has guilt issues, blaming himself for things outside of his control.”

 

“That doesn't sound familiar at all.”

 

She smirked. “Nope, not at all.”

 

“Do me a favor? Consider staying? The Tower's felt more like a real home or something with you here. Pep's commented on it more than once, so has Jarvis. And I like having you around where I can keep an eye on you.”

 

She rolled her eyes and he laughed.

 

“Wanna take a break, go down to the theater, watch a movie?”

 

“Yeah, that sounds good.” She put away the few papers she was working on and carefully stood up, very aware of Tony watching her for any sign of pain or discomfort. “I'm fine, Tony. Just taking it easy.”

 

“Alright, alright.” He stood himself, waving his hands. He took a few steps over to her photo wall, looking at the older pictures which featured him more than once. “Wow, I forgot how handsome I was for a second there.”

 

She rolled her eyes, yet again, laughing. “That I doubt.” She noticed he was focused on the picture of himself and her brother both holding her hands and lifting her toddler self into the air. She slipped her hand into his. “What are you thinking, Ony?”

 

A sigh. “How much I miss him. And Liam.” He looked down at her. “I haven't really handled things all that well in the last 14 years, have I?”

 

“You had a few hiccups. So did I. You hid in a bottle, I ran to the other side of the country. But you found your way, I knew you would with time.”

 

“Your dad would have been so disappointed in me.” Tony softly admitted, showing a side of himself that she was sure only she and Pepper saw. And Jarvis, of course.

 

“Bullshit.” Holly reached up and took Tony's face in both her hands. “Listen to me. Daddy would never be disappointed in you. Ever. Neither would Eddie. You hit a rough patch, that's all. Look at all you've done even with that rough patch. More than most people are able to do in their entire lives on their very best day. You saved the fucking planet Tony. You sacrificed yourself to save Manhattan. To save New Yorkers. Just like they did.”

 

She could see his jaw clench and she quietly waited. Tony wasn't very good about addressing feelings. Howard wasn't exactly the sit and chat kind of father. His hand reached up and rested over hers. “I could never be half the men they were.”

 

“No one expects you to be them, Tony. Be yourself.” She moved her free hand and rested it over his arc reactor. “This is the real you shining through. You've always been my hero, now the rest of the world gets to see what I've always known.”

 

She got a weak smile before he simply pulled her into his arms, wrapping her up tight in his. She returned the hug with equal strength.

 

* * *

 

Holly struggled slightly with her jacket as she walked with Steve through the main living area, heading for the elevators down to the ground floor. The Tower was designed in such a way where no one could go directly to the personal quarters of anyone living there without going through several security checkpoints and being forced to take more than one elevator. They didn't want to take any risks, especially considering most of them had created enemies over the years who'd think nothing of attacking them at home.

 

She'd been hoping they could make it through without running into anyone, but unfortunately, Pepper and Tony had chosen to relax on the sofa there to watch television rather than in their quarters.

 

“Hey, are you two going out?” Pepper asked, sounding only sightly incredulous. Everyone knew about Holly not leaving the Tower and why. None of them pushed her about it. Not even Tony. And he was the guy who regularly would jump out and try to scare Bruce to see if he would Hulk out.

 

She nodded nervously, the stubborn jacket finally on. Why was she trembling? Even when she was on her toughest assignments as a teenager with SHIELD, she hadn't felt this much anxiety and trepidation. “Yeah. Today's the day. I think. Haven't exactly thought that far ahead. Kind of hoping that's the trick to it.”

 

“Rogers, don't push her to do anything she doesn't want to do.” Stark spoke up, his eyes focused on her with intensity usually only seen when he was in his Playroom. “Sparky, are you sure you're ready?”

 

Another quick nod. “Yeah. Steve's right. Keeping myself locked up in the Tower isn't what Daddy would want.” She took a deep breath. If they didn't leave now she would end up running back to her apartment and barricading the door. Her heart was pounding. Is this how Steve had felt when they were walking into Castle Kaufmann? “I'll be okay. Steve will be with me.”

 

**Steve POV**

Steve looked down at her when she stopped after a few steps out of the Tower doors. He'd parked his favorite motorcycle in the protected area before the public area outside the Tower. She had her eyes closed and he could see her chin just barely wobbling. “Holly?” He was hoping she wasn't about to do a runner right back into the Tower. He wouldn't stop her but he knew that she'd beat herself up for not managing to get more than a few feet outside.

 

Her eyes opened and she gave him a weak smile with eyes beginning to water. “First time I've smelled NY air in 13 years.”

 

He gave her the time she needed before walking with her over to the bike, his hand on her shoulder in support. Before letting go of the helmet he handed her, he asked an important question. “Promise me you won't ride with your eyes closed?”

 

“As long as you don't.”

 

That made him smile and he was rewarded with a small one back as she slipped on the black helmet. So far so good.

* * *

 

“Holly, we don't have to go any farther than just sitting here on the bike. You don't need to do this today.” Steve hadn't planned on taking her right to what was formerly Ground Zero but was now One World Trade Center and the Memorial. But when he asked where she wanted to go through the speakers in the helmet, that's what she replied with, in a small voice that didn't sound like her at all. It was amazing what had been done on the spot of so much horror, the towering spire before them a thing of beauty that stood out in the city as a sign of strength and memory.

 

She stood on the sidewalk, close enough to touch, looking small and alone. Her face was pale and drawn. He was almost worried she might pass out from the strain she was putting herself under. He wasn't sure he'd quite realized what a trauma she'd undergone when her father and brother were killed so brutally and so suddenly along with so many other New Yorkers. Her home and her family and her work had been violated. No wonder she'd stayed out of the city. “No. I need to do this. I can do this. It's just....it's just...give me a minute.”

 

He nodded silently, hoping he wouldn't be recognized by any of the people walking by them. She'd been there with him in dealing with returning to Castle Kaufmann, he would be here for her. She'd pushed back dealing with what happened so often and so deeply that now it was tearing her apart. He might be a simple man who'd done extraordinary things but that much was plain.

 

She took a deep shaky breath before she turned to him. Her face was paler than he'd ever seen it and she looked like she was on the brink of panicking or worse. He prepared himself to catch her if she passed out. “I think I'm ready.”

 

“Alright.” He stood from the bike and took her outstretched and trembling hand with his. “I'm right here with you. One step at a time.” He gave her hand a squeeze. “You are doing so well, Holly.”

 

She nodded, shakily up at him before looking forward where the Memorial was only yards away. With a deep breath, she led the way to the place she'd never been able to make herself go to before.

* * *

 

The symbolism of the open square within the fountain of the Memorial wasn't lost on Steve as they stood near the plaque that had a list of too many names of those lost that fateful day. He'd been told that the 30 SHIELD agents lost were included, though few people knew their true occupation. Holly had been silent as a stone, staring at the fountain before moving to look at the plaque. Shaking fingers reached out and touched it where it read “Liam Dugan” and “Edward Dugan”. His heart broke as silent tears finally escaped, coursing down her cheeks unchecked. Her eyes blinked and she moved to touch a few other names nearby, fellow SHIELD agents lost that day.

 

After she dropped her hand, her head bowed and he heard a great wrenching sob of grief that led him to only one course of action. He moved swiftly, kneeling so he wasn't towering over her and pulled her into his arms. She didn't fight the hug and cried on his shoulder, her small hands gripping tightly at his shirt. He hated that he was part of the reason she was crying that day, that he'd pushed her into finally leaving the Tower, but he knew deep down that she needed this. It was cathartic. He held her tightly and silently hoped that Dum Dum's brother would approve of him trying to comfort his little girl. He cupped the back of her head with one hand, not knowing if there were any words that would comfort her right then.

 

Long minutes passed before she moved back, quietly wiping at her face and sniffling a little. He stood back up and pulled out the handkerchief he always carried and she murmured a small thank you before making use of it. “I'm sorry. I'm a mess.” She said softly, avoiding his eyes.

 

“Hey.” He nudged her chin with his fingertips, to make her look at him. Her pale blue eyes, so familiar to him because of her uncle were wide and open. No hiding, no pretending right then. If he was a poet, he wagered he was seeing her soul in that moment. There was such pain but also great strength. It was sadly beautiful and something he was sure he'd never forget. “There's no I'm sorry's today. You don't ever have to apologize to me for mourning your family or the friends you lost that day.” He took the chance and tucked a stray few strands of hair behind her ear, her head slightly tilting toward his hand. “You needed this. Did it help?”

 

She opened her eyes again and though they were a little red, they weren't as pained. “Yeah. I think so. Even though they were sent here on purpose....they did help people. And I don't know what happens...when we die, but I know that somewhere out there, they are still with me somehow. They would want me to remember the good.”

 

He gave her a smile of encouragement. She had to be one of the bravest women he'd ever met. Of course, she would have to be, having been partly raised by Peggy. “Do you want to go somewhere else now?”

 

“Yeah, please. I don't care where. Just not here.”

 

**Holly POV**

She closed her eyes as she walked with her feet sinking into the sand, the roar of the ocean and her own thoughts the only sounds with the occasional sea gull. Her house in California was right near the beach but the ocean had never sounded right. The Pacific was beautiful and warm but she would always be an East Coast girl. The Atlantic knew her. It knew the man beside her, her arm tucked through his as they walked along the beach, the day too overcast for many swimmers or sun worshippers. She opened her eyes and watched the antics of two seagulls as they fought over a piece of bread.

 

There was a gentle squeeze to her arm and she looked up to see Steve looking down at her with caring concerned eyes. What made her lucky enough to have a friend like him that would care this much about her? She'd only passively admit to having a touch of a crush on the man, seeing exactly what Peggy saw even before the serum. “You okay?” He asked softly, the sea air playing through his hair.

 

A nod and a squeeze to his well muscled arm. “Yeah. I'm okay. I was thinking how I've always preferred the Atlantic. The Pacific doesn't sound right.”

 

“It's funny how it seems to be timeless, the ocean. I understand that it's not really the same ocean from 70 years ago but it feels the same.”

 

“Does it bother you, to be near it?”

 

He looked a little confused and then made the connection. “No. I don't remember all that much about when I crashed the plane. Just the white of the snow coming closer and the cold coming in through the broken cockpit glass. I must have gotten knocked out and was frozen. I don't really know.”

 

They were quiet again, both of them lost in their thoughts and letting the ocean and seagulls do the conversing. “Thank you, for being with me today. For making me face it all.”

 

“You would have done it yourself with time. I'm glad I was here to support you.” He paused. “Is your family buried in the main Queens cemetary? Do you want to go there?”

 

She looked up at him confused. “No. I mean, they aren't there. Dad and Eddie honestly aren't anywhere, their remains were never found but only my grandparents are buried in Queens. I'd have to research to figure outwhere considering they both died before 1940. Dad, Eddie, my mother and Dum Dum are all at Arlington National Cemetary.”

 

Steve was confused and apparently his face showed it.

 

“Eddie was Special Forces, technically, on top of being a SHIELD agent. My mother was in the army, a bit ironic considering she was Lakota.”

 

“Oh. I didn't know. I've only read your file.”

 

She nodded. “Yeah. I figured. Find anything interesting besides that tidbit about the serum?” Part of her wondered what he thought about the various missions she'd been on or the number of people she'd either killed personally or assisted in killing.

 

“Lots, actually. I didn't realize you were in the army as well.”

 

“Yeah, arranged through SHIELD of course. I wanted to be like Aunt Peggy.”

 

“You are, honestly. I mean, you look nothing alike, of course but her strength, the no nonsense attitude. And the temper, you have the same expression as she did when she tested my shield by shooting at me without warning.”

 

Holly laughed, no doubt having heard the story from the other point of view. “Do you see why she was angry about you staying away and feeling guilty over Bavaria?”

 

“Yeah I know. Is that where you get your infamous right hook from then?”

 

Holly grinned, feeling a bit of the weight and anxiety of the day drift away. “Tony's been telling stories again! He's still never let me forget that welcome home right hook. Asshole deserved it, if you ask me. Coulson too.”

 

“How come I didn't get one?”

 

She chuckled, the first genuine laugh she'd felt all day. “Because I know you weren't really trying to avoid me or anything. It'd be like punching a puppy besides. Plus, I figure with the serum, you'd probably break my hand. At least fracture something.”

 

“Punching a puppy? Thanks.” He rolled his eyes. “You could break your hand on anyone's jaw if you hit them wrong. You think the serum would make it different with me?”

 

“Potentially. I'd rather not find out. Broken bones, serum or not, suck.”

 

He laughed.

* * *

 

 

They got back to the Tower late, enjoying their time together talking about the city they both knew, just from different eras. Steve had blushed nearly to his ears when she teased him for sounding like Dum Dum as he pointed out where things used to be when he was a kid as they took his motorcycle on a drive through the major areas of the city.

 

She'd just managed to get her jacket off as they walked through the common area when Tony's head popped up and then the rest of him came tumbling over the sofa, stumbling over to her on sleepy feet. The only light coming from the guide lights on the floor and his arc reactor.“Hey! Where the hell have you been? It's been hours! I was this close to going out in the suit looking for you!”

 

Aww. Tony had been worried. “Sorry Dad. Didn't know I had a curfew. We met some really nice meth dealers and then I tried out for a porno. Maybe two, time flies during those auditions. They said they called when they decided but they gave us free lube for waiting. That's all.”

 

“Jesus Krispies, shut up! Ahh!” He cried, trying to cover her mouth with his hand only to get a nip from her teeth. “Dammit, I forgot you've always been a biter!”

 

She grinned and turned to Steve who looked most amused by the play by play, absently covering the smile he was fighting with his hand. “When I was teething, I apparently used Tony as a teething ring.”

 

“Not just then either. Little vicious vampire!” He rolled his eyes and put his hands on her shoulders. “Hey, serious here. You okay?”

 

She gave him a smile. “I'm alright, Ony. Promise.”

 

“Where'd you go?”

 

“Well....we went...there and then down to Rockaway and then all over really.”

 

Tony blinked in apparent shock. He hadn't expected them to go to where the Towers had been just like Steve had been. It was obvious that it wasn't exactly a place someone would go to first when going out into the city for the first time in so many years. “You did?”

 

“Yeah. It's really nice, what they did for everyone with the Memorial.” She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. “I know you helped pay for most of it, thank you.”

 

“I had to do something.”

 

“You've done a lot. Daddy would be real proud of you.” She said with a quiet confidence. “Thank you for making me stay here too. I don't know if I ever would have come back to NY otherwise.”

 

Tony hugged her tight, pressing his lips to her forehead. “Hey, someone's gotta keep an eye on you. Sounds like you had a successful day. Might want to head up to Pepper's office. She refused to go to bed until you guys came back.”

 

Holly sighed and shook her head as Tony let go of her. “Does she ever not worry?”

 

“Nope.”

 

She shrugged and turned to Steve. “Thank you, for today. Couldn't have done it without you. Good night.” She leaned up and gave him a peck on the cheek before dashing off for the elevator that would take her up to Pepper's office near the top floor of the Tower.

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to comment....I have no idea what anyone thinks of this story with no comments whatsoever! Thanks for reading!

**Holly POV**

After her outing with Steve into the city, it took a couple days for Holly to go back out into the city. Emotionally she just needed a rest before going out again. Nat and Clint had been on a little side mission for Coulson so they didn't find out until the next day. This didn't stop them from nonchalantly just entering her apartment and waking her up and demanding answers and showing concern.

 

“Just don't tell me you did it because of Rogers batting his eyelashes at you.” Clint said, just plopping down on the bed next to her while Natasha took a seat on her other side, leaning against the foot of the bed. “Just tell me that much.”

 

She rolled her eyes and flipped him off. “Fuck you.”

 

Natasha smiled. “Now this is getting interesting.”

 

Holly sighed and sat up, looking at her two old friends. “Since you apparently don't seem to care that I was sleeping, what do you want to know?”

 

“Mostly if you're okay. Pepper told us when we got back about you going out with Cap yesterday. Did you really go to Ground Zero?”

 

“It's not Ground Zero anymore, Clint. It's...it's nice. What they did there.”

 

The archer looked at her with those eyes that saw more than most and took her hand. “Hey, this is us, Hot Lips. What made you go there?”

 

“I had to. It was like this...I don't know. Weight. I wasn't going to be able to stay here if I didn't just...go.” She sighed. “I don't know what I expected. I was...scared.”

 

Natasha's brow furrowed. “You? Scared? Of what?”

 

She shrugged. “I don't know. I mean, we know there's more to this world than we can see. I mean, fuck, I can move things with my damned mind. We know people who can read minds and walk through walls and come from other planets.” She fidgeted and played with Clint's rough fingers, her foot absently tapping against Natasha's leg. “I was afraid I'd....feel them there. Or I wouldn't feel anything. It's stupid.”

 

“No, it's not.” Natasha said, stretching her legs out and tapping Holly back with her own foot. “We all have our ghosts, real or imagined. All of us.”

 

She nodded, giving Natasha a tap back. “Yeah. I know.”

 

“How do you feel about it now?” Clint asked, curiousity in his tone.

 

“Better. They might have been sent in there to die, but they saved lives. That's all they ever wanted to do. What SHIELD was meant to be, you know? I miss them, all of them, but I haven't been honoring them by hiding away in California. Sure, I haven't been a little church mouse or anything but I could have been doing so much more.”

 

“Maybe you needed that time, Holly. Besides, being a teacher isn't a waste.” Natasha said.

 

“Yeah.” She shrugged. “Speaking of, I've got a lot of work to do today before I do another hololecture.”

 

“Let's get some food then, Professor.” Clint teased, moving off the bed and not letting go of her hand so she was forced to go with him. “Do the thing?”

 

She sighed. “I haven't even been awake 10 minutes.”

 

“Please?”

 

“Fine.”

 

Clint grinned before jumping backwards off the elevated bed area, only to float midair thanks to Holly's ability. “I wouldn't have minded this during the fight against the Chitari. I had to use a grappling arrow and crash through a damn window when they blew up the roof I was on.” He grinned as she fake dropped him more than once before letting him float right to the floor.

 

Holly somersaulted off and landed next to Clint just as Natasha landed on his other side. “Yeah because my life's work is to just float your fat ass around.”

 

“My ass is not fat! I have a nice ass!” He defended, getting up and posing to make his butt stick out. “Come on, it's nice!”

 

Natasha looked at Holly with a smirk. “ You know, Rogers' has a nice one, for an old man.”

 

Holly giggled. “True. Thor's got a cute butt too.”

 

“Hey!! My ass is SO much better than alien or old man ass! Come on! Both of them are cheating anyway!”

 

Neither woman said anything and just headed for the kitchenette to get something to eat.

 

“Oh come on!”

 

**Pepper POV**

“Welcome home, Miss Potts.” Jarvis' soothing voice greeted her as she stepped into the elevator from the underground parking area. Happy had insisted she not wait for him and she'd gone straight to the express elevator. There was a major need for a bubble bath and a glass of wine. Maybe a bottle.

 

“Thank you Jarvis. How are you?”

 

“I am performing at peak efficency. How was your day?”

 

“Frustrating but thankfully over. I'm guessing nothing major happened here or I would have saw it on the news.”

 

“No, the day has been a quiet one. Shall I fill you in on events?”

 

Pepper felt she had a special relationship with Jarvis since they both worked tirelessly to try and protect Tony from himself as well as to encourage him when the spectre of his father or his own anxieties from the last few years began to overwhelm him. Jarvis knew enough to inform her on what was going on in the tower without invading anyone's privacy. The AI knew enough to “leave” a room when complete privacy was expected.

 

“Yes Jarvis, please do. And can you begin a bath in the penthouse for me?”

 

“Of course, it has already begun.” He paused. “Sir has spent a good portion of his day with Dr. Banner in the Playroom. Work has been more theoretical than practical and sir only tried to tempt the Hulk into appearing three times.”

 

“Only three? Tony must be distracted.” Pepper quipped. That and Bruce was getting used to Tony's antics. “Continue please.”

 

“Also experiencing frustration with work, Sir and Dr. Banner went out to lunch with Holly and Captain Rogers at a bistro near Central Park.”

 

“Oh that's nice. Were there any issues?” They were all becoming more recognizable and she worried about Bruce and Steve, neither one particularly in favor of massive attention.

 

“No, there were not. Sir returned alone to the Tower while Dr. Banner, the Captain and Holly decided to spend the afternoon at the Metropolitian Museum.”

 

Pepper smiled. “Oh that's nice! I'm so glad to hear that. Bruce spends much too much time cooped up in this tower.”

 

“I agree. And it is good for Holly to also spend time out in the city, yes?”

 

“Yes Jarvis. She's been doing so well after finally going out a few weeks ago with Steve.”

 

“Captain Rogers is rather protective of Holly. I find this acceptable as I know you do as well but Sir seems to be wary of it. Does he not trust Captain Rogers?”

 

Pepper shook her head as the elevator opened and she stepped out into the penthouse, the sunset over the city beautiful from such a high vantage point. “He trusts him Jarvis but when it comes to Holly, I don't think Tony trusts anyone except maybe Peggy.”

 

“That assessment seems accurate. Do you believe Holly will stay here now that she is able to go into the city without issue?”

 

Stepping into the oppulent bathroom, Pepper breathed in the smell of the lavender bubble bath that was automatically dispensed into the bath as it was drawn. Perfect. Stepping back out into the kitchen area, she picked out a bottle of wine and poured a healthy glass before toeing off her shoes and heading back for the bathroom. “I certainly hope so. It's nice to have her here. I think Natasha made a good call in finally introducing Holly and Steve to each other.”

 

“Agreed. They have been positive influences on each other.”

 

**Steve POV**

Steve found himself actually enjoying the 21st century a bit more now that he was living in the Tower with his fellow Avengers. Sure, there was the occasional mission and he hadn't stopped looking for Bucky, but there was a good amount of downtime, something he hadn't dared to allow himself after he was thawed. He'd been afraid of his own thoughts, of actually forcing himself to deal with being anachronism with nothing familiar to ground him. But it was different now. He'd made friends. Real good ones who didn't care about him being a Super Soldier or being in his 90s, though they all teased him for it.

 

Pepper was a soothing influence, somehow able to deal with Stark and his inability to not be blunt to the point of rudeness. She showed patience, as did Banner, ironically. Each day the scientist would teach him something new about science and not get frustrated when Steve didn't quite understand it right away. Coulson had become a good friend, having moved on a bit from what Holly had called his fanboy reaction to Steve. He was always willing to listen to an “old” war story.

 

Holly was something else and he wondered if part of the reason they got along so well was that at times, she reminded him strongly of Peggy, like Natasha could at times. But that wasn't fair to her, she was her own woman. Barton had taken great joy in showing Steve some old SHIELD training videos that had made it to the internet when everything fell apart. One began with Maria Hill disguised as a rather ineffectual trainer, the session being one to teach a lesson to a group of new male agents who didn't have respect for women. The group had no idea what they were in for. Then Holly had come in. She'd been about 16 at the time. She was dressed like a teenager, though a bit provocatively, acting like she was just the kid of a SHIELD agent, looking for her dad. Hill left to look for him, leaving Holly at the mercy of the young male agents. Or so they thought.

 

It didn't take long for a few comments to be made and even some blatant advances. Rather disturbing considering how innocent and young she looked. Holly didn't break her cover until one of the agents grabbed her rear.

 

Holly's brother had put music to the video, a song from a Disney movie Mulan, as sung by Holly herself for her entrance video to Julliard. He watched very amused as her voice sang “I'll make a man out of you” as she wiped the floor with 8 agents in less than 2 minutes before showing her repeatedly wiping the floor with them in other training sessions. She did all of this with practiced ease.. Then at the end, Agent Hill came back in, no longer pretending to be ineffectual, followed by Agent May and Coulson, who both looked quite pleased. The agents began to complain but were cut off by Hill verbally ripping them up one side and down the other about their failure and lack of respect for women. He wondered if Peggy had ever done a similar exercise with a similar dressing down.

 

Barton said those particular agents would almost run in fear when they saw Holly coming down the hall, something she was very proud of. Something she had in common with Natasha.

 

She was more than her ability to fight and had showed as much patience as Banner and Pepper in helping him to learn new things. Just the same, she'd enjoyed teasing him about the merchandising inspired by his apparent legend and horrifying him with what women said they wanted to do to him on an internet site called Tumblr. That had led her into a giggle fit and as embarrassed as he was for some of the comments, seeing her that happy was worth it. She had read them outloud in a mock sultry tone and thankfully broke down in laughter before getting through very many.

 

He'd gotten to watch more of Holly's performances, both at Julliard and elsewhere. Stark hadn't been kidding when he said he hadn't missed a performance. They ranged from full musicals to individual songs, either by herself or with others, including some rehearsals and auditions. One even included Barton as the drummer in the background, part of her video application package to Julliard. He'd also played opposite to her in a version of Who's On First, which was a thrill for Steve because he recognized it immediately. Having Barton help her was to make it more plausible for him to “visit” her at school if she needed back up, establishing who he was. He was actually very good as a comedian and the pair had explained that they had previously memorized the bit to keep from being bored during long mission flights.

 

One performance would have never in a million years been done in his time but was actually quite entertaining in the fact that everyone had expected him to be wholly offended by it. There was a cartoon TV series about a group of foul mouthed little boys in a small town called South Park and they had done a movie musical. While Holly had been at Julliard, a group of students had pushed to have that be one of the semester big performances and had performed the musical numbers to prove it could be done. The school hadn't agreed, it being much too controversial with one of the songs being about two characters accusing each other of having sex with their uncle to say the very least.

 

Holly had had a bit part in it, her moment shining in the big medley number where she played the female version of a boy character who stood out in the town. She had explained it was a bit of a parody of Les Miserables and her character began the song.

 

Standing on a box, she stood out from the rest of the “kids”, a single light focusing on her and then growing to shine on the other students.

 

_God has smiled upon you this day_

_The fate of a nation in your hands!_

_And blessed be the children who fight with all our bravery_

_till only the righteous stand!_

 

She was really hamming it up, being rather melodramatic but her voice was amazing to hear and the performance was a particular favorite of not just Stark but of Barton as well.

 

_You see the distant flames, they bellow in the night!_

_You fight in all our names, for what we know is right_

_And when you all get shot and cannot carry on_

_Though you die, La Resistance lives on!_

 

Then the other children began to sing around her while the “boys” being sent on the mission moved aside, looking at the other singing “kids” in horror and confusion as they sang about what could possibly happen to them.

 

_You may be stabbed in the head with a dagger or sword_

_You may be burned to death or skinned alive or worse!_

_But when they torture you, you will not feel the need to run_

_For though you die, La Resistance lives on._

 

Then it was a group of mothers singing a reprisal of Blame Canada, the men, all dressed as soldiers singing about their excitement to be soldiers. Satan made an appearance about his plans for after the execution after which the two which had sung about uncle sex happily sung about their doom. The “boys” questioned their mothers' intentions, questioning why the song had become a marathon. Each part had involved lighting the one specfic group before lighting the next but after the boys, it became a huge medley, each group singing independently of each other, each with their own spotlight.

 

It was hard to take Holly seriously as she sang so passionately about such silly things

 

_They may cut your dick in half and serve it to a pig_

_And though it hurts you'll laugh and dance a jigless jig!_

_But that's the way it goes_

_In war you are shat upon_

_Though you die, La Resistance lives on!_

 

Holly explained that though the professors and the school board had chosen not to do a stage version of the South Park movie, it was what made them finally choose to do a comedy, namely The Producers. She had tried out for a small part, namely the insane former Nazi who had written the horrible play Springtime for Hitler that the main characters wanted to put on Broadway so they could steal the money and go to Rio when it failed. She'd done well, able to do a very good German accent as well as pronounce the German in the song accurately while dancing. She'd done so well that she'd gotten the lead, normally a male role, made female by making Max, Maxine.

 

He remembered how hesitant Holly had been to have him watch The Producers, given that it included Nazis, even in parody form. He'd loved it, getting the giggles out of the young man who'd played a flaming gay actor playing Hitler, singing a confessional to the audience about his career. The musical would have made even Colonel Phillips laugh. Nearly everyone had gathered in Stark's theater to watch the recording, everyone laughing when Holly admitted that she modeled the egotism in her performance after Tony.

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Steve POV**

Steve walked into the common kitchen and was immediately struck with the quiet. No Stark spouting off about whatever technology he was creating or newest purchase. No Barton with razor edge one liners. No Holly chatting with Natasha.

 

Instead, it was Banner and Pepper, sitting quietly with cups of tea. Decaf for Banner though Steve was pretty sure a bit of caffeine wouldn't make much more difference for him as it would for himself. One thing the two men had in common thanks to the different serums was that they had very high metabolisms.

 

"Good morning?" He greeted with hesitancy. The mood was very subdued between the two who normally would be enjoying being able to chat without Stark constantly interrupting. "Was there a early morning mission that I wasn't apart of?"

 

"Morning Steve. No, there's no mission." Banner explained softly.

 

"Where is everyone then?"

 

"With Holly, in her quarters." Pepper explained. "I was about to go down myself."

 

Now Steve was more confused. Why was everyone in Holly's apartment and why was the mood in the room so morose? Was she sick? If she was, then Banner would be there too. Then he stopped short. "Jarvis," he addressed the AI, "what is today's date please?"

 

"Today is September 11th, Captain."

 

His heart went to his feet. "Oh. Thank you." It was the anniversary of one of the worst days not just in American history but in Holly's life. Even with all the progress she had made, finally being able to go out into the city, that particular date would always be a source of pain for her. Just like January 26th, the anniversary of when Bucky fell from the train was for him.

 

"Would either of you mind if I went along? I'd like to support Holly too."

 

Banner shook his head. "I'm not going, I'll probably head up to the lab." At Steve's confused look, he continued. "The Other Guy might not react well to seeing his Tiny Jedi upset. He's rather protective of her. And I'm a New Yorker too, I don't need to think about that day and risk The Other Guy coming out by accident."

 

Steve nodded. "Understandable."

 

"I'll make sure Holly knows you are thinking about her, Bruce. Hulk too." Pepper said as she stood up, giving the scientist a grateful weak smile as he waved away her attempt to take care of her cup.

 

Steve walked quietly with Pepper to the correct elevator and waited till the door closed before he asked, "How does Holly deal with today?"

 

"She watches the recording of the live footage to the point of the towers falling."

 

Steve was startled. He'd seen the horrific footage and would think that would be the last thing Holly would want to see. "My God, why?"

 

Pepper sighed sadly. "To remember them and exactly what happened. To punish herself for not being there. She doesn't exactly talk about it."

 

The doors opened and they walked toward Holly's open apartment door. "How does Stark deal?" He knew the billionaire had cared deeply for the two lost Dugans. And of course there was Barton who'd been recruited by her brother and Natasha who'd been taken under Liam Dugan's wing after she avenged his wife's murder.

 

"He tries just to be there for Holly if he can. Or locks himself in his lab. Usually drinking was heavily involved."

 

They stood at the door and looked upon a sad sight. Holly Sat with her knees up to her chin, still in her pajamas. She looked drawn and her eyes told Steve that tears had been shed. To her left was Stark, very composed, his expression closed, his hand holding hers. It reminded Steve of his immediate reaction to news of Coulson's death. Sitting on the floor, facing right was Barton, a single hand wrapped around Holly's ankle. To her right was Natasha, the former spy holding Holly's other hand, fingers intertwined.

 

They entered silently, no greeting seeming appropriate. Steve moved to sit on Natasha's other side, receiving a nod from both her and Barton. Pepper had moved to Stark's side, the man immediately moving so his head rested on her shoulder.

 

Before them were multiple screens, showing the footage from that terrible day, both professional and amateur. They had arrived in time to watch the second plane hit and the news anchor reacting in shock. From there it was a painful witnessing of the panic as people either ran or tried to help.

 

Steve silently hoped as he viewed the various screens, that none of the footage showed Liam or Edward with the other members of SHIELD who had gone under false orders to help. He couldn't help but notice one of the screens was just the false order sent to all agents.

 

A tiny whimper escaped from Holly as the first tower fell, the anchor reacting in horror, exclaiming how the tower was a place where thousands of people worked. He turned his head to see both Stark and Pepper had closed their eyes to the sight while Barton and Natasha were focused on Holly.

 

Her eyes were wide and wet, but no tears fell. He knew that would happen soon enough.

 

And it did, when the second tower collapsed in on itself, the news anchor in shock saying "Oh god, there goes the other one."

 

Beyond the stereo sound of the video, Steve heard Holly's voice quietly say "And then there was one." He looked to her and the tears had indeed escaped, coursing twin paths down her cheeks. But her eyes remained on the screens, watching the tower that as far as anyone could tell the Dugans had been in, come down. Steve hoped they didn't suffer and had died quickly and together.

 

Stark moved to rest his forehead against the side of Holly's head, his jaw tight while his arm wrapped around her from behind. Pepper rested against Stark's back, her eyes closed as she wiped away an errant tear with one hand. Natasha rested her free hand on Holly's knee while Barton silently rested his head against her legs, one hand still wrapped around her ankle, the other resting on top of Natasha's.

 

Steve felt almost like a voyeur to the makeshift family moment, but at the same time was glad to be there to lend his support which he did with a gentle hand on Natasha's shoulder. He wondered how Peggy dealt with the anniversary of the loss of the Dugans and too many other SHIELD agents. He didn't even know where she was living then. Was she already at her nursing home in DC or was she in NY? Who even told her about the Dugans?

 

Pepper turned off the footage from the screens, Jarvis replacing them with calming scenes of a mountain lake, kittens and a beach. The CEO of Stark Industries stood up and leaning over both Stark and Barton placed a sisterly kiss to Holly's crown, running her hand over her black hair before stepping out of the room. Steve couldn't help but hear a soft sniffle. He wasn't sure if Pepper had known the Dugans but anything that caused someone close to her pain was as bad as causing her pain. She had a huge heart.

 

Next to go was Stark, who silently tugged Holly into standing and gave her a long bear hug, murmuring quietly in her ear, but loud enough for someone with Super Soldier hearing "I love you, Sparky."

 

Thanks to his hearing, Steve hear her murmur the same, using her childhood mispronouncation of his name, Ony.

 

Stark looked stricken as he pulled away, giving Steve a nod before taking a deep breath as he left the apartment. In the last few weeks, he'd seen a different side to the billionaire and hoped he had a better understanding of why Stark was the way he was. Between Howard not being the best father in the world, to losing the man who had stepped up to be the father he needed and the brother he wanted on the same day, to say Stark had issues was to say the very least.

 

Then Barton, who'd moved to the couch during the hug stood as did Natasha. Steve was surprised as he watched the pair both hug Holly together for a long minute before they each kissed her cheeks and walked out, hand in hand. He was still amazed to see Natasha so affectionate with someone but wondered if it was because Holly hadn't allowed her to be distant with her? The three had a bond and it was good to see Holly had that kind of support from her old partners.

 

Holly stood there a moment before turning her head and seeing Steve, probably for the first time. "Oh. hi. I didn't know you were here." She wiped at her face. Her voice was small and strained, her eyes not making contact with his. She went through this every year?

 

"I came in with Pepper." He said softly as she sat back down. He couldn't help but think of how tiny she looked, how alone. This wasn't Holly, the agent of SHIELD or even Lady Skywalker. This was a little girl who lost her family in a single instant.

 

She nodded, looking at the scenes Jarvis had put up. "Thank you. They would have appreciated it. I appreciate it."

 

"Of course." He said moving so his arms rested against his legs. "Is there anything I can do for you today? Anything? Just name it."

 

She let out a shaky breath. "Not really, but thank you." She paused. "Actually, this will sound weird but, could you stay while I go shower and stuff?" Her cheeks flushed. "I don't like being alone today if I can help it."

 

"I won't go anywhere. You are officially stuck with me. Do you want something to eat? I can make something while you shower.” He wanted to do something, anything to help her, another step after going out into the city itself.

She shook her head. “I'm alright. Thanks. I'll be right out.”

 

**Holly POV**

When Holly came out of the bathroom, no longer in her pajamas but in a pair of old comfortable jeans and a well worn Property of SHIELD t-shirt, she stopped short. There was Steve, setting down two plates of what looked like grilled cheese sandwiches and filling two bowls with what she guessed was tomato soup, a dishcloth over one shoulder. It was a bit shocking not just how domestic it looked but by how comfortable he was with her to just rifle her kitchen and cook despite that she said she wasn't hungry.

He looked up and gave her a soft caring smile. “Hey. Have a nice shower? The pressure here is much better than my apartment in Washington.”

She shrugged. “Tony's likes to spoil himself and pretty much everyone else. I'm sure having the best water pressure was one of the first things on his list when he built the Tower. Or at least Pepper's list.”

Steve nodded and waved her over. “I know you said you weren't hungry, but you should try to eat something. Your metabolism isn't quite as enhanced as mine, but I bet you can put away a fair bit. Just the same, you need to eat. Try a little, for me?” He paused. “It's Grilled Cheese Ala Rogers. My mom's recipe.”

That almost made her say Aww right out loud. He was sharing something of his childhood with her? “They had grilled cheese way back then?”

He pursed his lips and tried to look stern but it didn't work. “Haha. We'd just discovered it, along with the wheel, I'll have you know.”

She pulled herself up onto one of the barstools and felt her stomach growl a little at the sight of the food. Maybe she was a litte hungry. “Sorry, it was right there, couldn't pass it up.”

He rolled his eyes, taking his own seat. “Yeah I know.”

“So what's the secret to Momma Rogers' grilled cheese?”

“More than one kind of cheese, tomato and a touch of garlic.” Steve said with pride. “She made this for me a lot, usually after I lost the latest fight I'd gotten myself into. And back then, it wasn't as easy to get fresh cheese or tomatoes. You would have liked her. She was funny and tough as nails. Stubborn too.”

“I would say so, to stick with working in TB ward and raise a boy on her own.” What little she'd been able to learn of his mother when she was researching her book on Captain America led her to the conclusion that much of Steve's personality was inspired by the hard working nurse. She picked up the sandwich and took a bite and instantly saw exactly how soothing the food must have been to little Stevie Rogers, who got a black eye for telling a boy to leave a girl alone after pushing her in the mud. Or something similar. “Oh I think I love your mom.”

Steve chuckled, tucking into his own sandwich.

They ate quietly for a while and Holly was amazed when she realized she'd finished both the soup and the sandwich and was pleasantly full and a little sleepy from the meal. “Thank you, Steve, for that. How'd you know that's what I needed?”

“It's the universal comfort food next to ice cream and chocolate.”

“That's the truth.”

They made their way back to the couch where Steve didn't even flinch when Holly put a pillow in his lap and laid down. He might have been one of the world's mightest heroes, but right now, he was the one person making this horrible day better. She appreciated everyone else sitting with her for her little ritual, but Steve had stayed and that meant a lot.

“Did you know I was due to come back to New York that day? We'd gotten our guy in San Diego in the early morning. He was just some low level government guy trying to sell secrets to the Chinese. One of our assets had heard about him from a girl he'd bragged to about being a spy. Dumbass” She looked straight ahead, remembering how the little weasel had literally pissed himself in fear after Clint had shot a series of arrows pinning him by his clothing to the side of a building without even scratching him.

“I didn't know that. I knew you were in California.” Steve said softly.

“I was asleep in my hotel room when the first plane hit. Clint was in the room next to mine and he came right in and woke me up. He had this look on his face.” She paused, remembering never seeing him look that scared since Uganda at least. “I knew it was bad from that look. He showed me the command to all SHIELD agents to help in NY and turned on the TV, showing the footage.”

Steve began to gently stroke her hair and she wondered if this was another one of Momma Roger's remedies or if he even realized he was doing it.

“When the second plane hit and we knew it wasn't an accident, we started trying to make calls back to NY, to the Triskilon. Then the Pentagon was hit. It was just one thing after another. And then....when the first tower fell, we were just in shock. The phone rang and it was Tony. The one time I've ever really heard him panicking. He was relieved to find out where I was. I think my cover story had been something about taking a few days with friends. Then he said that he hadn't been able to get through to Dad and Eddie.”

“Is that when you realized they'd gone to help?”

She nodded. “I think I knew from the start. They would have gone even without the order, without SHIELD. It's who they were. Hell, Dum Dum would have gone at 90 to try and help.”

Steve's hand paused on it's continual stroking of her hair. “Yeah, he would have.”

“It was a really long day. It was late that night when we got the call from Natasha that she was alright. She'd been working undercover at the Pentagon but hadn't had to go in that day and had been at the Triskelon. I swear Clint and I nearly collapsed in joy to hear her voice. That was the only bright spot to that whole time, knowing she was alright along with Trip who'd been out of country.”

“I can imagine.”

“I can't remember how many times we both kept trying Dad and Eddie and the Sandbox. Over and over. The normal phonelines were overwhelmed that day and what was really scary was that so were the SHIELD ones. I couldn't exactly ask Tony for help because he didn't know about SHIELD then or why they would have gone to help.”

“What did you end up telling him?”

“What I told you, they went to try and help because that's who they were. Dad was 76, but that didn't matter.”

“When did....did you know for sure?”

“The next morning.” She paused, closing her eyes tight and letting out a deep breath. “Clint had fallen asleep in my room and I had pretty much passed out while repeat calling NY when both Coulson and Fury showed up.”

“And that's when you knew?”

“They were two of the toughest men I'd ever known. Still are. Nick I'd known since I was a baby. And....he couldn't even get the words out. Coulson had a tough time too. I just remember him saying that 32 agents had gone in, following the order. Only two were accounted for and being treated at a local hospital. They'd managed to get a bead on Daddy and Eddie's transponders, something every SHIELD agent wore when going into a disaster zone. They monitor vitals and the strain on the agent.” Her voice choked and she took a minute, blinking away the tears that threatened to make her already sore eyes hurt more. “And they....they both...died when the second tower fell.”

There was really nothing Steve could say and she knew that. His hand slid down her arm and took her hand, giving it a squeeze which she returned. After long minutes, he turned on the TV and found Looney Tunes, one where Bugs Bunny encountered Christopher Columbus. She gave in to the feelings of sleepiness and vaguely felt him let go of her hand to resume stroking her hair.

 

**Steve POV**

Steve watched the antics of Bugs Bunny on the screen, the sound lowered when a familiar face appeared in the doorway of Holly's apartment.

“Hello Director.” He looked down to where Holly had placed a pillow and then her head in his lap. He hadn't even realized he'd been stroking her long hair until an hour ago but lack of protest had led him to continue doing so. Anything to try and comfort her on the toughest day. He remembered how his mother's gentle touch had always helped him when he was feeling ill or depressed that he couldn't play like the other boys. “Is she asleep?”

Coulson nodded with a tight smile, his eyes on Holly. Steve wasn't very surprised to see the man, knowing his close connection not just to Holly but to her family. He'd told Steve how her father had once praised him and predicted that one day he would be director. He'd also told Coulson that he expected that he would help Holly if something were to happen to either himself or his son. That had ironically been less than 2 months before September 11th. And from what Holly had told him about how difficult it was for the former agent to give her the news of her family's fate, he'd almost been expecting to see the man. He was sure Agent May and Maria Hill would be around at some point as well. “How bad was it?”

Steve shook his head. “Bad. But she wasn't alone. Everyone was down here with her.”

“You've formed a family, as much as you all might deny it. It's good, I'm glad. She's been alone too long.”

Holly stirred, her legs stretching out, the sound of a yawn. “Coulson?” She sat up, yawning again. “I didn't mean to fall asleep. Hello Director.”

Coulson shook his head, a sad smile on his face. “No, I'm just Phil right now.” He moved to stand near her, his hand reaching out and running over her hair, affection in his eyes. As stiff as he tried to portray himself, deep down Coulson was full of heart. It made sense that his apparent death would be the kind of trigger they needed to work together as the Avengers. “I understand you had friends with you today.”

The look of gratitude and affection that she gave Steve made him feel bigger than he ever had when he was performing to sell warbonds to sold out crowds. “Yes. I did. It's good to see you too.”

The man, in his ever present suit smiled softly at her. “I brought someone to see you. Thought it might do you some good.”

He turned and there, dressed in jeans and a cable knit black sweater and a new eyepatch, was former Director of SHIELD, Nick Fury. Someone even Steve hadn't seen since his publicized “death” a year earlier.

“Uncle Nick!” Holly sprung off the couch and threw herself at the imposing man, who for his credit easily took the slight woman in his arms, hugging her tight.

Steve couldn't help but look at Coulson with confusion. “Uncle?”

“The former director is her godfather.” Was the simple explanation. They turned to where Fury was now holding Holly's face in his hands, his own face the most relaxed and calm Steve had ever seen it. He'd never seen Fury with children and though he knew the man was married, he just thought he was focused more on SHIELD than family. It would make sense that Liam Dugan would make his successor as director someone he would trust with the care of his only daughter. She probably knew before he did that Fury was alive.

“I'm sorry I haven't stayed in contact, kid. It was safer to stay under the radar. I didn't want to risk endangering you.” He nudged her so she looked up. “How are we doing today, Agent?”

Her chin trembled, but she kept her composure. Steve wasn't sure if she could have any more tears in her. “We're managing, sir. I miss them. All of them.” One could only wonder if she meant just her family or the other 28 agents lost that day. If they had been based out of Manhattan, she'd probably known most of them.

“I know. I do too.” He hugged her to him again with one arm and led the way back into the room. “Cap, you keeping an eye on my goddaughter or is it the other way around?”

Steve stood. “A little bit of both sir. Looks like retirement suits you.”

Nick gave him a flash of a smile, shaking his hand. “Finally get to work on my golf game. Phil tells me you've been quite the force in bringing Holly out of retirement.”

“I wasn't alone sir. She's an asset to the team and a good friend.” He gave her a smile that she returned shyly.

“I think on behalf of her father, I can say thank you for looking after our girl.” He dropped a kiss to her temple. “What do you say we go see if I can't get Stark to crap himself by sneaking up on him?”

A small giggle came from Holly and it was the best sound to Steve's ears. “Oh that's an ongoing sport between Nat and Clint. I think he's winning so far. He staked out the top of the fridge in the lab lounge one night. Tony went in at 3am to get a snack and Clint said he'd never heard a grown man scream so loud. Even Jarvis congratulated him on it.”

Fury grinned. “Always did like Barton's sense of humor. Reminds me of your brother.” He looked down at Holly. “Now come on, no more sadness today. Let's remember them happy. I hear you went up against that jackass Doom not too long ago.”

The pair led the way out with Coulson and Steve bringing up the rear as Holly answered Fury's questions about what had happened in Bavaria.

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please please please.....feedback? I need to know if I should continue to post this or not. Thanks!

**Holly POV**

Holly was almost startled when a shadow was cast over her desk but before she automatically went on the defense, she smelled a cologne that identified the visitor. The mix of sandalwood and soap said it was Steve. She pulled off the headphones she'd been wearing and looked up to find him with an amused look on his face.

  
“What?”

  
“How loud do you have your music that you didn't hear me knocking or calling you? I was getting concerned. It's a good thing you don't lock your door, I would have broken it down.” He waved at the paperwork on her desk. “What are you working on anyway?”

  
“Going over student papers. Sometimes I wish I was back in California, would make it easier for these kids to get help in person. I swear they don't pay attention to the lectures because it's a hologram. Get their asses to pay attention if I threw a knife through their damn cell phone. Use a damn EMP and wipe out all the stupid things.”

  
Since she'd decided to give living in NY a chance, both for herself and the various people who'd expressed their desire to have her there, she'd managed to keep teaching her classes thanks to Stark technology. Her lecture hall was especially outfitted with holoprojectors and receievers. Not only did her students see her as a hologram, she saw the entire classroom as well. Her office hours were done the same way.

  
“Kids not paying attention in school is an age old problem. I'll admit I got in trouble a few times when I got caught drawing when I should have been paying attention.”  
Holly made a mock gasping sound. “Oh the deliquent truth is revealed! Someone call the Smithsonian! The legend has been tarnished!”

  
He rolled his eyes. He was more than used to her teasing. “Anyway, it's getting late. I'm taking you out for dinner.”

  
That was a surprise. Steve wasn't usually so direct and often beat around the bush. They'd gotten to be rather good friends in the last few weeks and she enjoyed the time they spent together. It was fun to hear Dum Dum's old stories from a different point of view, often with Steve sighing and denying completely Dum Dum's version. Apparently her uncle was a fan of embellishment. “You are?”

“Yep. Come on, Jarvis told me you haven't eaten since this morning, so we're going out.”

  
She sighed. It was like having Big Brother watching, except in her case it was more like AI Nephew. “Thanks a lot Jarvis! Snitch!”

  
“You do have that in common with sir, Holly. Contrary to both of your beliefs, food is a necessity for you.” The AI answered. “Enjoy your dinner.”  
At least the AI had her best interests at heart.

* * *

 

The server led them back to a dining area that was more private, immediately recognizing Steve and even more, the $50 that was passed to him. Sadly Steve had much to learn about subtly, though she was rather impressed with how generous the tip was. Of course, Steve was very sympathetic to what it was like to be a server or a bar tender or in his day, a paper boy. He'd expressed more than once his frustration and sadness that in this day and age there was still poverty.

  
“Surprise!”

  
Holly was mildly startled and confused at the group of people who'd jumped out at her as they entered the room. Somehow she hadn't immediately gone for her staff or knife, thankfully. It wasn't exactly the best thing to do with someone who was an expert at close quarters hand to hand combat. “Huh?”

  
“Christ, she's more like you than I thought, Stark!” Natasha cursed. “Holly, it's your birthday! Did you forget again?”

  
She blinked and came to the realization that it was indeed her 35th birthday. “Oh. Whoops.”

  
“Whoops she says!” Clint said, coming from behind her. “Happy birthday, granny.” He came around and gave her a big hug that took her off her feet before he put her down and just swayed back and forth with his head on her shoulder and probably a goofy smile on his face.

  
“Kiss my ass, Katniss!” She cursed, smacking him on the ass. “You are how much older than me? You aren't even a year from 40!”

  
“Sorry Hot Lips, today, even Rogers can make old jokes. Too bad Thor isn't here to do it. He's like hundreds of years old or some shit.”

  
“Where is Thor? Didn't we send him a message so he could be here?” Pepper asked, smacking Clint away so she could give Holly a birthday hug. Clint had also scared Pepper more than once with his sudden appearances normally tailored to scare Tony.

  
“Yeah, Sif answered. I guess there's some trouble going on with one of the other realms. He sent a gift though via the Bifrost.” Bruce spoke up.

  
“You guys really didn't need to do all of this, honest.” She turned to Steve. “And you, I'm shocked at how you didn't give anything away!”

 

Steve grinned proudly. “I did pretty well didn't I? I've been practicing for a week. Helps that you forgot it was your birthday. How do you do even do that?”

  
She shrugged. “Doesn't seem a big deal, that's all.”

  
“Not a big deal!” Tony shouted, coming from nowhere, throwing his hands in the air. “I remember the day you were born! I remember holding you for the very first time!”

  
“Oh jesus. Shut up Tony!” She groaned, hating when Tony got both loud and nostalgic in front of other people. It was easier to dismiss when he was drinking. But damn, this was a sober nostalgic Tony. She was doomed.

  
“Nope! You were the tiniest baby in the hospital. And could you scream! Could nearly shatter glass with those tiny lungs!”

  
“Shut up.”

  
“And you were so sweet and adorable, until it came time for the diaper change. Oh we loved to see you smile, until you smiled that smile.”

  
Holly groaned as everyone chuckled, putting her hand to her head. “Nat, if you love me, knock him out, please? Hit him with a tranquilizer? Something?”

  
“Actually, Grannie, I'm enjoying this. The Adventures of Little Lady Skywalker and her Diaper of Despair.” The Russian had a pleased look at the torture Holly was undergoing, a playful smirk on her lips.

  
“Sounds like the first of a series of Avengers children's books.”

  
Holly looked up and saw someone she hadn't seen in way too long. “Rhodey!” She all but shoved Tony out of the way and hugged the Colonel. “I haven't seen you in forever!”  
“Is that so, Captain Dugan?” An eyebrow rose. Rhodey hadn't been surprised at all when it had been revealed that she was an agent of SHIELD and held a rank in the army. He'd only been offended that she hadn't chosen the Air Force.

  
She grinned and snapped to attention, throwing a salute. “It's good to see you, Colonel Rhodes, sir!”

  
He let out a laugh, shaking his head. “I can't really call you Captain anymore, it'll get all confused with Rogers here.” He put out his hand to Steve. “Nice to see you Cap.”

  
“Colonel.”

  
“No no no, this is Rhodey. Rhodey. Anyways, didn't the army make you a general while you were frozen or something?” Tony interjected, slapping his old friend on the back after sarcastically sounding out his old friend's name for Steve.

  
Steve shook his head. “Honorary rank. Brevet. Doesn't really count for anything.”

  
“Plus General America doesn't have the same ring to it.” Rhodey joked.

 

* * *

 

Holly was almost hesitant about opening the box from Tony from the look of almost childlike glee on his face. It was all he could do to keep from clapping and giggling it seemed like. But she trusted him, so she opened the box to discover a slim bracelet. Now she was confused. She reached into the box and took it out, feeling how light it was. “Vibranium bracelet?”

Tony grinned, the man was practically vibrating himself, he was that giddy. “Very good at knowing your elements, Sparks. But it's not just a bracelet. Stand up and put it on.”

Quirking her eyebrow at him, she got up and was moved so she was out of the way of everyone else and the furniture and put the bracelet on. A quick look at the others had them with similar looks of confusion. “Okay, what is it like a mood bracelet?”

Tony smirked. “Jarvis, bring in the Mark 80.”

From outside the room, pieces of armor flew in and attached themselves to her, making her gasp and fight against her instincts to drop to the ground and roll away. It was when the headpiece flew in and landed in her hands, that she was able to take a breath. Looking down at herself she saw she was wearing a suit of Iron Man armor that was similar to Tony's but was tan and brown, not gold and red. It was much more form fitting and less bulky looking, especially compared to the War Machine armor.

“Go ahead, put on the helmet!”

She took a breath and did so, giving it a moment to connect to the rest of the suit. She'd played around with parts of Tony's suit before so the information immediately coming at her from the readouts wasn't that overwhelming. She'd always gotten her hands on new Stark tech before most anyone else for her entire life, she was used to it.

“I thought you might like to see how your suit looks from another's point of view.” Jarvis' voice spoke softly and no doubt just for her within the suit. An image came up showing her in the suit, an artificial arc reactor in the shape of a diamond in the center of her chest. “There is also an additional lightsaber that is part of the armor on your left leg, in addition to the repulsors in your gauntlets and boots.”

“Ladies and Gentleman....and Barton, I give you, the Iron Jedi.” Tony announced, grinning and waving his hands to her. “Dont' worry, I'm still going to be the only shell head in this group, but I get bored so easy and we talked about you having armor so, here it is. Thought I'd surprise you with it.”

“I'm surprised.” She moved around a bit, getting a feel for it. It didn't feel bulky, almost trim. A few more motions made her realize that it didn't limit her quite so much physically. “So it can do what you can do?”

“Yep.”

“Including fly?”

“J, show her?”

She managed not to embarrass herself as the repulsors turned on, thankfully not at full strength and like she'd seen Tony do several times, she kept her feet flat and her hands at her sides for stability. “Okay, this is very cool.”

Tony grinned. “Wanna go for a birthday flight around Manhattan?”

Holly spoke directly to Jarvis, turning off the suit speakers momentarily. “Jarvis, are you thinking what I'm thinking?”

“Make sir try and catch us?”

“You are such a bright boy!”

“I do try.”

Switching the speaker back on, she answered. “If you can catch us, old man!” to everyone else, as the suit rose and Jarvis mapped a safe route out of the building, she announced, “I'll be back in a minute!”

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major angst ahead with minor character death! Fair warning!
> 
> And feedback keep's Cap's shield shiny!

**Steve POV**  
Steve was startled when the door to his apartment burst open and it was lucky his shield hadn't been in reaching distance. He turned to see a distraught looking Holly, out of breath. “Holly? What's wrong?”

She shook her head. “It's Peggy. We....we need to get down to DC. She's....they think she's getting close to the end. Maybe in the next day or two. Maybe sooner.”

  
That felt like having ice water thrown in his face. The end for Peggy? She was dying? How could that be? She was fine the last time he saw her, hell he'd just spoken to her the other day. She'd been full of happiness and jokes on Holly's birthday just a couple weeks ago. She sounded fine. She'd lived so long already. “Are...are they sure?”

  
She nodded, her lips forming a firm line. “She asked for us Steve. You and I. She wouldn't do that if she didn't have a feeling of it herself. Natasha's going to fly us down in the QuinJet. We can be there within the hour. Grab your go bag. We need to hurry.”

  
He gulped and jumped to his feet. “Okay. Okay.” He went for the bag that he kept packed under the coffeetable. He didn't require much and he still had a few things in his old Washington apartment if absolutely needed. Peggy couldn't be dying. Maybe she was just lonely or had panicked over something? That wasn't really like her, but then again, he'd missed out on 70 years. “I'm sure she'll be just fine when we get there.” Was he saying that for her reassurance, or his own?

  
She bit her lip and looked very young in that moment. He saw actual fear, something he hadn't even see in Bavaria when she'd been in the grips of the Doombot. “I hope so but Peggy doesn't cry wolf. Come on, Nat said she'd be ready quick.”

* * *

 

Peggy looked at him with that fierceness that had first gained his attention the day they met and she slugged the other recruit. She gripped his hand with surprising strength and spoke. “I want you to know that I poured the only sample we had of your blood into the river. It was the only piece of you I had to lay to rest. I stood on the Brooklyn Bridge and I said goodbye. You should know that. Part of you was home, in Brooklyn all these years. I never gave up hope but I had to do something.”

  
His heart clenched and he thought about how she'd had to struggle all these years with trying to not give up on the chance that he was alive but each year passing making it more and more unlikely. “Peggy, I'm so sorry. I should have given you coordinates like you told me. Maybe you would have found me. You wouldn't have gone through all that.”

  
She shook her head. “No, darling. While I hold no real belief in fate, things sometimes happen the way they have to. Thanks to you, I was given something to aspire to. Thanks to you, SHIELD saved thousands of lives, millions perhaps.” Her lips formed the gentle smile that always felt like it was just for him. A flash of memory to the first time he saw it as he climbed into the backseat of the jeep after attaining the company flag. “You are needed here, now. The world needs a man like you more than ever. I did what was needed in the time between. It is your time yet again.”

  
“I....I don't know what I'm doing still. Who I am. I need you here. Please. I need my best girl. Who else am I going to dance with, Peggy?” He struggled not to cry, choosing instead to press his lips to her weak and withered hand. It still shocked him deep down to see her so old. It made the fact that it had been 70 years that much more concrete. The whole thing was giving him flashbacks to when his mother died. For him, that only felt like 10 years ago but had really been so much longer and she had been so very young.

  
“Oh Steve.” She soothed, her voice soft. “You have so much life to live. Don't keep choosing to live it in the past.” She weakly pulled their hands and pressed her own kiss to his hand. “Darling, I was a lucky woman to live the life I did. I'm proud of what I accomplished. I may not have had children of my own, but I will always think of Holly and Edward as mine in my heart. Live your life without the restraint I gave myself. Don't wait anymore. I'll always be with you, just like you've always been with me.”

  
He blinked for long moments just trying to keep that control. How was he ever going to deal with this still strange new time without her kindness and wisdom? “I love you, you know that, don't you?”

  
As weak as she was, she gave him the most brilliant smile. It was the kind of smile that made her look so young, even with her white hair. “Of course Steve. And I have loved you. Come now, give us a kiss and say goodbye. I will see you again, do not fret. I have many people waiting to see me, to hear about your newest adventures and of how you and Holly have found each other. I'm trusting you to be there for her like you would for me.”

  
“Of course. I will. I promise.” He stood on weak knees and leaned over, gently pressing his lips to hers before pressing them to her forehead. Why did it always seem like a kiss between them meant goodbye? “Goodbye Peggy. I'll bring in Holly.” His voice choked and his throat felt so tight.

  
“Thank you Steve. Goodbye, for now.”

 

**Holly POV**

"I think....I think it'll be soon." Steve choked after stepping out of Peggy's room and standing there in the hallway for a long moment. He turned to where Holly had been sitting and made his way over with a few steps. His eyes were bright with emotion. "She wants you."

  
Holly took a deep breath and nodded, dreading this day for many years. Living to 101 was not an easy feat, even with modern technology. "Okay." She stood and stopped by where Steve was standing, struggling with the realization that his best girl was about to pass from old age while he was still under 30. "She held on so long because of her belief in you, Steve. She couldn't rest still she knew you were found safe. That kind of inspiration, devotion is no small thing. That's love, sweetheart."

He nodded, unable to look at her and she stepped forward and down the hall to her adopted mother's room.

The first thing she was struck by was how tiny Peggy looked, even more so than the last time she saw her. Of course now she cursed herself for not just living in DC so she could see the only mother she'd ever known everyday. How she should have gotten a professorship in DC rather than California to avoid seeing the Triskellion. It'd been gone for a year now, what was her excuse?

“There is my beautiful girl. Come now dear, let me see you.”

Holly was amazed at how upbeat Peggy was. Maybe they were wrong about it being her time? What had she said to Steve that had him so convinced? “Hi Mom.” She greeted, moving to the woman's side. “How are you feeling?”

“I'm just fine. I'm in no pain, don't you worry. These doctors keep offering me drugs just the same but I want my mind clear.” She took Holly's hand with hers. “I need you to promise me a few things before I go and you must swear to keep these promises.”

Holly blinked. She sounded like she was talking about taking a trip, not dying. Why was she feeling fear and the woman before her wasn't? “Mom, you aren't going anywhere. You sound fine.”

“It's coming. I'm so very tired, my dear. It's my time, I can feel it. And I'm happy to go, truly. I've lived my life, it's time for the next great adventure like in those Harry Potter novels I love so much.”

Holly couldn't help but smile, the elder woman having been quite the Harry Potter fan. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, my love, I am. I know you and Steve will be just fine. You have each other now.” She paused, blinking a little. “That's what I need you to promise me. Don't let him live in the past. Force him to live for today and in today, not in his memories, not in the past. I can only hope when he finds Sergeant Barnes that he will be able to let go of the war.”

“We'll find him. I promise you. I know we will. Commandos mean family.”

“That's right.” Peggy smiled. “I want you to promise the very same. Live for today. Remember us, your parents, Edward, Dum Dum and I, but don't let your every moment be about us. Live for yourself. Fight like I taught you. Love like you deserve. Do what you want. Be strong. Be proud of your abilities, even when others use it as an excuse for hatred. Be vibrant but above all, be brave.”

Holly looked down feeling her throat tighten. “I'll try. I just want you to stay. You've always been there my whole life. It won't be the same.”

A weak squeeze of her hand had her look up. “I know love. But I am very old and it's time. I have lived an amazing life but all good stories have to come to an end. I will be alright. Your parents are waiting for me, I'm sure. No doubt your fool uncle has some lavish party arranged with Howard.” She smiled softly. “I do look forward to telling Howard how wrong he was about his boy.” Another squeeze. “You must care for the new family you have around you. Take care of them, Philip and Natasha. Clint and Anthony. Steve and Nicholas. You all are the heart of the new SHIELD.”

Holly nodded, knowing deep down that Peggy was right. She'd just turned 101 after all. You didn't get to that age without learning a thing or two. Or in Peggy's case, saving the world a few dozen times. “Are you scared at all?”

“No love. And I will see you again, I promise. I will always be with you, you know that. No power could keep me away.”

“I know Mom. I love you so much.” She leaned in and pressed her forehead to Peggy's, breathing in the familiar smell of her soap and hand lotion, something that had been a staple her entire life. Why change something that works? She pulled back and absently smoothed back a silver curl with shaking fingers.

“And I love you, my dear girl.” The woman smiled and now Holly could see the exhaustion in her. How hard had it been for her to hold on so long? “Your mother will be so proud when I tell her of the woman you've become.”

“The woman you raised me to be.”

Peggy smile grew, then slowly faded. “Will you stay with me? I am so very tired but it will help to have you to help me, to hold my hand as I drift off.”

“Of course. I'll be right here.” Holly moved to sit on the bed at Peggy's hip after adjusting her blanket for her. “It's okay, Mom. I'm right here. Just close your eyes and relax. When you wake up, you'll be young again and surrounded by all your old friends. Everyone will be so happy to see you.” She paused and swallowed, calling on all of her training to not burst into tears and beg the elderly woman not to leave her as she closed her eyes. When she felt under control again, she continued. “Dum Dum will tease you for having to be fashionably late. My mother will thank you for being such a good mom to me. Daddy will hug you and so will Eddie. Probably in a Dugan sandwich. You'll see Colonel Philips and he'll treat you to a big smile.”

And slowly Peggy Carter fell asleep. Not long after, she took her last breath and her frail hand let go of Holly's for the last time.

 

* * *

\------

Holly was fighting for control as she walked back down the hall to where Steve was sitting, hands clenched together, forearms resting on his knees. It was taking ever bit of her strength and training not to just fall to the ground a sobbing mess. Something told her that the man she approached was struggling as well. Anyone else would think he was here worried about his grandmother, not his sweetheart. He looked so young and so lost. And here she was about to inform him of one more loss in his life.

As she stepped closer, his head popped up and her heart broke as she watched the realization wash over him. His mind telling him what her face was probably broadcasting for anyone who walked by, SHIELD training be damned. But still, he asked. "Is...is she?"

Holly swallowed with difficulty, not wanting to break down, not yet. She stepped closer and took a breath before she answered. "Yes. Just now. She fell asleep holding my hand." Her vision blurred with emotion and she blinked quickly to try and make it go away, looking up at the florescent lighting briefly. "She's gone." She couldn't help but sound incredulous as her voice choked out the last word.

Steve's head dropped and he let out a harsh gasp of air like he'd been punched. Holly felt the same though they'd both known it was coming. There was no way to truly prepare for it. She was gone. The woman who'd helped raise her when her mother died, the woman who'd influenced her entire life, was gone. And she had done it on her own terms, holding on long enough so those she'd loved most could have a chance they hadn't had with other loses in their lives, to say goodbye. Classic Peggy.

She blinked again, pushing back the tears that wanted to run down her face away, clearing her vision for the moment. There would be no more long talks with Peggy, no advice, no simple comfort from her arms. No more stories about the old days of SHIELD. For either of them.

Steve looked up at her with such pain in his eyes, such sorrow that it made her heart hurt so much more. She did the only thing she could and stepped forward, pulling his head to her chest and wrapping her arms around his broad frame as best she could resting her cheek against his blonde hair. Maybe if she just held onto Steve strong enough, she could manage.

It took a moment but he let out a gasping sob and she held him tighter as his arms wrapped around her like a vice, clinging to her as if she might float away. His hands clenched and unclenched the back of her tshirt. She wondered if he wasn't just mourning Peggy the person but all those years lost from that fateful day he crashed Schmitt's bomber. All the would have's, should have's and could have's. Maybe all of it was finally hitting him and Peggy passing was just the final straw on the camel's back.

They mourned together, both knowing Peggy was at rest, but missing her all the same. They'd both loved her in different ways for so very long. And Holly knew that Peggy had commanded Steve to take care of her like she'd been told to care for Steve. Peggy would want to make sure they were both in the best care.

It wasn't until Coulson came jogging down the hall that either of them managed to get themselves under control. Holly wiping away his tears with her fingertips, Steve reaching up and cradling her face in his hands and using his thumbs. His reddened eyes told her what she hoped he saw in hers, that it would be them against the world if need be, just like Peggy wanted. Like they both needed. It was the least they could do for all she had done for them.

Coulson waited a moment before coming closer, his eyes saying what he already knew. Natasha must have called him and his team headquartered at the Playground not all that far away. "Is she?"

"Peggy is gone, Director. She fell asleep and slipped away." Steve said with a strained voice, swallowing as he stood up. He clenched his jaw and stood tall, trying to be strong, be Captain America, not Steve. It was strange how she knew him well enough now to see the difference.

Coulson's head dropped and he let out a soft sigh before looking up, sadness in his eyes. Peggy had always enjoyed Coulson's enthusiasm for listening to her stories and she had been one of the driving forces in having him be Holly's handler for so many years. She'd always referred to him as darling Philip. "I'm so sorry, Cap, Holly."

Holly nodded, Steve having let go of her only to let his hand find hers and intertwine their fingers. She let out a small breath, thankful he knew she needed a physical tether to keep some kind of hold on herself. His large warm hand holding hers was an immense comfort and she gave a squeeze to relay that. "She's at rest. That's what matters."

“Of course.” He fidgeted a little. “Is there anything I can do?”

  
“I think Peggy had her arrangements already established. The nursing staff will call....the funeral home to...come...” Holly put her fist to her mouth with a gasp, the tears coming again, the pain in her chest sharp. A stranger was going to take away the body of her adopted mother. The body. Peggy was gone. It made all of it so very real and horrible. “I'm sorry. I just...mom!” Peggy had tried, when she was little to insist that Holly call her Aunt or Peggy out of respect for her birth mother, but it was a hard thing to try to explain to a toddler and young child who didn't understand. Her father, surprisingly, didn't have an issue with it, telling Peggy more than once that Rose would have wanted it that way. Something to do with Lakota tradition.

  
Steve moved quickly and like he had back in NY at the World Trade Center Memorial, took her in his strong arms and held her tight. His towering height and strong arms were an incredible comfort. Over her head, his own voice still strained, he spoke to Coulson. “She's going to be with the other Commandos and Holly's family at Arlington. Can you find out at the office about the arrangements Holly spoke of?”

  
“Of course, Cap. Right away.” Coulson took off at a brisk pace. He was focusing on the mission, such as it was. He would grieve later. It always puzzled her when people would ask her what it was like having a robot for a handler because she'd never really seen that part of Coulson. He was intensely caring and was very funny, just in a dry sarcastic way. And she could always count on him, that's what mattered.

  
Holly sniffled, her heart broken. “I don't even know what to do now.” She gasped against his chest. “I feel so overwhelmed and I know...she wouldn't want this. That's why she held on. So we could get the chance we never got before, to say goodbye. Oh god this hurts. I can't even breathe.”

  
“Shh. It's alright doll.” Steve soothed, giving her a little squeeze. “I'm right here and I'll be strong for both of us for now.” He gently kissed the top of her head, stroking her hair and she sighed. “Peggy gave me orders to keep an eye on you and that's what I'm going to do. We haven't known each other very long, but you'll always have me, I promise.”  
Holly nodded against his chest, absently noting he smelled like the bodywash she'd found for him while shopping with Pepper in the East Village after her birthday. The strong beat of his heart was a good focus point to calm her down. “She made me promise too.”

  
Steve gave a weak chuckle. “I thought she might. She knew we'd do it anyway.”

 

**Natasha POV**

Coulson came back later with Natasha at his side, the redhead spy feeling sad for her friends. He'd gone to the lobby after speaking to the administrator where she'd waited for the news. She hadn't known Peggy very well, but had appreciated the woman's defense of Clint for bringing her back instead of following orders to kill the Black Widow. Something told her that they would have gotten along like she did with Holly had they been contemporaries. Holly and Steve had separated from the embrace Coulson said he left them in, but were still holding hands, needing that bit of a grounding influence to deal with everything.

  
She could understand that. After New York, once Loki was safely off the planet, she and Clint met up with Stark and Holly in Philadelphia and while Stark returned to NY to help remodel and repair not just the Tower but Manhattan, the three had taken a long roadtrip back to California. Together they had mourned what they had thought was the death of a good friend. They had stayed in near constant physical contact, even sharing a bed just to know they were all safe. Now, this time, it was Steve that Holly would be closest to because next to her, he'd known Director Carter the best. Or would mourn her in a similar way. Loss of the past he knew, leaving him in a very uncertain time. Luckily he would have Holly.

  
“Holly, Steve, I'm so sorry. She was an incredible woman.”

  
She held out her arms to Holly and the raven haired woman quickly moved to them, wrapping her own arms around Natasha. She'd never been one for initiating physical contact beyond that needed for a mission but it had always been different with Holly and Clint. The two seemed to crave affection and slowly, they'd managed to get under her skin, beyond her Red Room training. Not that she'd ever tell them. Instead, she hugged Holly a little tighter because she knew that's what her friend needed. “Thank you Nat. She really was.” Then Holly moved back and unconsciously and immediately took Steve's hand again.

  
Natasha moved to Steve and kissed his cheeks. She rested her hand on his forearm and gave it a squeeze to make sure he paid attention. She looked up into his impossibly sad blue eyes. The man looked more upset than he'd been when they had discovered who the Winter Soldier really was. Finding out your lost friend was alive but a brainwashed assassin was one thing but to lose your sweetheart who never gave up hope for your safe return for 70 years? It was the same and completely different. “You'll be okay, with time.”

  
Steve nodded, squeezing Holly's hand, the set of his jaw telling Natasha that words weren't possible at the moment. It seemed so natural and yet so strange to see the pair holding hands, she couldn't help but notice. “So what now?” Holly spoke for them both.

  
“Now, we should go. I'll take you to the refurbished Playground HQ. You can see what we've been doing there and just try to relax. Natasha and I will handle everything. The rest of the Avengers are coming down in the next few hours and Fury is going to be on a plane from Rome very shortly.” Coulson spoke up. They'd discussed what to do on the way back to the floor where Peggy Carter had lived for the last 15 years.

  
“That sounds okay to me.” Holly said quietly, the pain evident in her voice. To Natasha, she sounded like a lost little girl and perhaps she was. Peggy Carter had effectively been her mother, raising her in lieu of her own fallen mother. She looked up to Steve. “What do you want to do?”

  
“Let's go with Coulson. Let's just...not be here.” Steve cleared his throat roughly before looking away. “After you, Director.”

 

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know....I've never seen an episode of Agent Carter....so Peggy's early career in this fic has nothing to do with that show and would've had alot more to do with the Commandos. Also, I'm only acknowledging Agents of SHIELD to the second season midseason finale.
> 
> Feedback makes the Koenigs happier than lanyards!

**Holly POV**

“Agent Dugan. We're happy to see you again, but very sad about the loss of former Director Carter.”

  
Stepping into the main hall from the underground garage, Holly almost felt a smile at Steve's look of confusion at the trio of men who looked almost exactly the same, dressed in suits with their ever present lanyards. It gave her a feeling of nostalgia to see the Koenigs again. They never changed and right now, that's exactly what she needed. “Thank you, boys. Now don't tell me. Billy, Freddie and George?”

  
The three identical men all nodded with barely reserved smiles. “You are one of the few that could ever tell us apart, Agent Dugan.” George said, handing her a lanyard while Freddie handed one to a still baffled Steve. The lanyards all had black mourning bands on them. The boys had thought of everything.

  
“I was so sorry to hear about Eric. He was one of the best agents.” Their “brother” had been one of the victims of the traitor, Grand Ward.

  
All three dropped their heads briefly before Billy spoke up. “Thank you, Agent Dugan.”

  
She turned to Steve. “Steve, these are the Koenigs. They helped keep SHIELD alive during Project Insight. Boys, I'm sure you know Captain America.”

  
The three nodded eagerly. They almost looked like middle aged fanboys, their eyes wide with hero worship. “Captain Rogers, it's an honor sir. We wish it was under better circumstances.” Freddie said with a very respectful tone.

  
Holly heard the clicking of boot heels and looked behind the Koenigs to see Melinda heading for her with a determined look on her face. Usually when most people saw that determination, they ran in the other direction. She looked up at Steve. “I'll be right back.” She walked around the Koenigs and was silently met with a very uncharacteristically emotional hug from the woman who hated her legend as being the Cavalry. May's arms were like a vice. “She was ready Melinda. She went on her own terms.”

  
She felt May take a cleansing breath. She wouldn't breakdown in front of everyone, but she was still struggling. Despite what many people in SHIELD had thought of her, she was a warm feeling woman. She could just kick your ass without trying. Part of her wished that she and Eddie had explored their mutual attraction to each other but they were both career agents. Ce la vie. “I know. She was just...”

  
“I know.” Holly gave her a nod, feeling the tears coming again but fought them back. She couldn't be breaking down every five seconds. The older agent pulled back and Holly held her hands in hers, both of their heads down and eyes closed, sharing a moment with her old friend for the woman that influenced them both so much.

  
“Holly?”

  
The pair turned to see a rather distraught Jemma with a concerned Skye at her side, Trip behind them. Skye looked like she didn't know what to do other than stay with Jemma and Trip looked like the world had fallen apart but he wouldn't let that stop him from supporting his teammates first and worrying about himself last. Something Peggy had taught both of them. Something that Steve had in common with his old sweetheart.

  
“Hey Jemma.” Holly quickly stepped over to the crying young doctor and hugged her. The slight woman all but collapsed against her, softly sobbing. “No tears sweetie. Peggy wouldn't want you to mourn her. Celebrate her life. She lived to see SHIELD be reborn with strong women she helped influence at its core. Us, Jemma. We have to show the world the women that Peggy taught us to be. We have to inspire others like she inspired us. Protect those who need protecting, just like she did. Understand?”

  
Jemma nodded, sniffling, too upset to speak. Holly had noticed that the younger woman was very sensitive but strong as well. Coulson had told her a few stories while she'd been recovering from her Bavarian injuries that had her admiring the young biochemist and her resolve. It was a blow for true loyal SHIELD agents to lose the last founder only a year after Insight. For Jemma, it was the loss of her idol. She gave her an extra squeeze before pulling back and giving her the best reassuring look she could.

  
May took Jemma aside, holding the young doctor so she could try and calm down. May's voice quietly murmuring breathing techniques. “Hey. I'm really sorry about Director Carter. I know she was like your mom, kind of.” Skye seemed a bit nervous, unsure what to say. Holly could understand that. The young woman had had a very unconventional childhood, only recently learning that all her foster parents had been SHIELD agents tasked to protect her.

  
“Thanks.” She felt a hand rest on her shoulder, knowing it was Steve. “I have her to thank for pushing to have Coulson be my handler and then the handler of Delta. If I ever get to pull half the stuff she did as an agent, I'll be happy.” She swallowed, blinking away tears that threatened.

  
Trip walked over with his head down, shoulders slumped. “Hey Holly. There's no funk today. I'm gonna miss Aunt Peggy so much. My heart hurts.” Trip was uncharacteristically quiet, his eyes sad and showing a bit of redness. It was clear that he was using all of his effort to keep from breaking down. Holly remembered how hard it was for him when his grandpa died since his parents were already gone thanks to a car accident. Thanks to SHIELD, he didn't have to deal with the foster system and was an emancipated minor at 15 living at the Sandbox in Manhattan when he was training for the Academy.

  
She sighed as she hugged Trip, yet again trying not to cry as he was the only other person she knew besides her brother to refer to the legendary woman as Aunt Peggy. Tony rarely if ever talked about her thanks to the falling out his father had had not just with her, but with her own parents and Dum Dum. She'd always been so protective and loving of any Commando descendants, as few as there had been. She remembered how much of a rock he'd been for her after the Towers. She hoped her hug was as comforting as his was to her. “She's with your grandpa and the uncles now. Probably telling him embarrassing stories from your days in the Academy.”

  
He gave her a quick grin after letting go, but it didn't reach his sad eyes. “Yeah, I bet she is.” He put his hand to his heart and looked up to the ceiling. “I don't know if heaven is big enough for someone like her.”

  
“Yeah. I don't know either.” Holly nodded with a weak smile as Steve put his arm around her shoulders, shaking Trip's hand and accepting the young man's condolences and offering his own.

* * *

 

“Phil, I'm fine.” She rarely if ever called Coulson by his first name, it just felt weird but she wanted to get him to just leave her alone already. If she wanted to lay down, she would have found a place herself. Just because he was the Director now, he couldn't just command her to take a nap.

  
Coulson put his hands on her shoulders and moved close so she was looking right into his eyes. “Holly, I know you and you are not fine right now. Let me take care of you for the moment, okay? Promised your dad I'd keep an eye on you, that's what I'm doing. Please, just lay down and rest your eyes at least. An hour, that's all I want.”

  
She closed her eyes and sighed. Damn Coulson for knowing exactly how to get what he wanted from her. She knew her father would agree with him and he knew that too. Dammit.

  
“Holly, it would probably be a good idea to get a little rest. We're under a lot of strain.” Steve spoke up. “Doesn't do anyone any good to run yourself ragged.” He spoke softly, merely suggesting, showing concern.

Another sigh. “Fine. As long as you get some rest too. Super solder or not, you are just as stressed as me.”

  
“There's another room right next door, ready and waiting.” Coulson spoke up. He dropped her hands from her shoulders and gave her a nod of gratitude to Steve. He was magnanimous enough to not show he had predicted he would get his way. “I'll see you both in a bit.”

  
Holly reluctantly moved to the couch and sat down before pulling her feet up after Coulson left. Her sneakers quietly thumped to the floor. “He always gets his way.”

  
“He does seem to be able to persuade people easily.” Steve remarked, absently looking at the door behind him as she laid down, her body still feeling like a live wire but her head full of rocks and wet heavy cotton.

 

**Steve POV**

“Steve?”

  
“Yeah, Holly?” He stopped in his motion toward the door and turned to her. He didn't think he'd be able to sleep so maybe he'd just plant himself outside the door so no one disturbed her. No one was going to mess with either of them today. He probably could take on all of Hydra without blinking at the moment. Just anything. Hell, make them pay for everything that led to him being in the ice and putting Peggy through so much pain.

  
“Can....will you stay? I don't...I don't want to be alone.” She asked. She sounded shy and nervous. That alone told him how out of sorts she was. Amazing how Peggy would instinctively know how much they would need each other without her. He could be strong for Holly, as long as she needed him. He failed her once, not again.

  
He nodded silently but inwardly rejoiced. Closing the door behind him completely, he headed back toward the large plush sofa of the lounge that Coulson had set aside for Holly to rest in, concerned that she needed to rest after so much emotional strain. He toed off his shoes while she moved back so she was against the back of the couch on her side and he lay down next to her, his arm moving behind her as she shyly rested her head against his shoulder. He reached up with his other hand and pulled down the random throw that had been left on the sofa and laid it over them both.

  
“Thank you.” She murmured, her arm going across his chest, her fingertips playing with his tshirt sleeve. If it was wasn't for the circumstances, this would be rather nice. Just taking a nap, cuddling with a pretty girl. He couldn't help but be glad in some small way that like in September, she was comfortable enough to let her guard down with him and rest. She trusted him when she was most vulnerable.

“I didn't really want to go, honestly.”

  
“Really?”

  
“Yeah. They didn't know Peggy like we did. I know they feel sorry, but they don't know.” Hell, he hadn't even known Peggy like Holly did. She'd literally lost her mother. Peggy might not have given birth to her, but she was the only mother Holly had ever known for over 30 years. He'd been sweet on her 70 years ago and shared one kiss in a racing car.

  
She nodded against his chest. “Yeah. I know they are trying to be understanding, but it's driving me crazy. I know it's irrational but it's exhausting.” She sighed, her fingertips absently tracing a vein on his bicep. “But you get it. I know you do.”

“Let's try and rest then, okay? Just for a bit.”

  
She yawned and snuggled closer. Coulson had been right, she was wiped out. Not that she'd ever admit it to anyone. “Okay. Just a bit.”

 

**Holly POV**

Holly woke up to the sound of voices outside and she tensed, for a moment forgetting where she was. Then it came back to her and she shut her eyes tight as the grief washed over. She moved her head a little and saw Steve was still asleep. As much as she was hurting, she knew he was feeling the pain just as much and no doubt torturing himself with the idea of Peggy feeling this pain when he'd been forced to crash that plane all those years ago. She decided that no matter what, she was going to find Bucky Barnes if she had to put up Lost signs on every post and tree and building in the civilized world. It's what Peggy would want. She'd been so upset when it was revealed that the infamous Winter Soldier was Steve's best friend, thought dead. She remembered Peggy repeatedly saying that if she'd had any idea at all that she would have put every resource at SHIELD to bring Barnes home. Holly knew that Dum Dum would have been right at her side too.

  
She had begun to doze again when the door opened and she kept her eyes shut.

  
“Aww, would you look at them?” Clint's voice spoke. “Poor kids wore themselves out.” Ironic that he'd say that about Steve, considering the man was technically old enough to be his grandfather.

  
“I'm not surprised. You should have seen how they were clinging to each other at the nursing home. Like the only thing keeping them grounded was each other.” Natasha. “It was sad and sweet. Is that possible?”

  
Strange, such an insight into emotions coming from her of all people. Natasha wasn't normally one to comment on such a thing, always trying to keep an air of mystery and fear around her. But she wasn't wrong. She wondered if Steve saw it that way.

  
“Yes, it is.” Tony. “Agent Carter, Peggy, Aunt Peggy was very important to both of them. She was a very sweet woman and tougher than all of us put together times ten.” A sigh. “Come on, let them sleep. They have hard days ahead and we've got to be there for them.”

  
A remarkably mature statement coming from her honorary brother. But he was hurting too. He'd known Peggy as a child long before she'd been born. And then there was the estrangement Howard had insisted on because of the fall out. All because he'd taken great offense to the concern Peggy and her father had for how he treated Tony. But she'd sworn to never tell Tony he was the reason. “Because Avengers are family, sir?” Jarvis.

  
A pause. “Yeah Jarvis. A strange demented kind of family, but then again, what's normal?”

  
The door closed and the voices moved away.

  
“Are they gone?”

  
Holly couldn't help but snort. “You were awake the whole time?”

  
A smirk took his lips as he opened one eye and wiggled his eyebrows. “Pretty good, huh? Figured if your honorary brother saw us like this, he'd make use of one of the Iron Man gauntlets on me.”

  
Holly shook her head, sitting up a little. “But he wouldn't if you were asleep?”

  
Steve shrugged. “I'm told I look very innocent in my sleep. Comes with 70 years experience.”

  
“Yeah. Sure.” Holly rolled her eyes and moved so she was sitting back on her legs, rubbing at her eyes. “Fuck my eyes hurt.”

  
“Mine too.” Steve said, moving to a sitting position before he stretched. “Think the Director has some eyedrops?”

  
“Probably. Back in the day, there was a legend around SHIELD that Coulson never slept, he just waited.” She doubted Steve's eyes really hurt considering his accelerated healing. Hers probably would have felt a dozen times worse without her own increased healing ability. But maybe it was more of a psychological thing and he didn't even realize they didn't really hurt.

  
Steve gave a half smile. “So all that stuff they say about that Chuck Norris guy actually got stolen from Coulson?”

  
“I wouldn't doubt it. Alot of the techs spent too much time putting false data out on the internet and making shit up to distract from reality.”

 

**Steve POV**

“Are you ready for this?” Steve asked, looking down at Holly as they both slowed down before getting to the doorway for the main lounge of Coulson's HQ where they could hear numerous voices. Coulson had mentioned that all non-essential personnel had been sent home or to another station so the HQ was much quieter than it would be normally.  
Her eyes were wide as she looked up at him, chewing her bottom lip. “Can't avoid them forever.”

  
“We could. Get out of here, just drive somewhere. Anywhere. I've never been to Las Vegas. Have you?”

  
He mentally cheered as the tiny smile that put on her face and she promptly hugged him, wrapping her arms around him and resting her head on his chest. He immediately hugged her back, pressing his lips to the top of her head. A guy could almost get used to this much affection. He just wished it was for a happier reason. Like world peace.

  
“Thank you, Steve. I don't know if I could handle this without you.”

  
“I could say the same for you, doll. Come on, let's get this over with. Can I deck Stark if he says something annoying?”

  
“Not if I do it first.”

  
He felt a smile take his face and gave her a little squeeze before she pulled back. “That I'd pay real money to see. Again.” Jarvis had shown him the recording of the infamous punch Stark took from Holly when he returned home from his captivity.

  
He took her hand and lead her into the room where everyone stopped talking, having gathered around a hodge podge of food collected. Apparently the tradition of bringing food for the mourning was still a thing. Strange since he had no appetite whatsoever for one of the first times since he'd been unthawed. “Hi everyone.” He said quietly, almost letting go of Holly's hand except for the death grip she had on it.

  
Pepper was the first to move, her eyes red from crying. She was one of the most sensitive people he'd ever met which made her ability to handle Stark that much more amazing. “I'm so sorry. Both of you. She was a wonderful woman. Just an inspiration and a very sweet lady.” The tall redhead managed to hug both of them together. “Anything you guys need, anything at all. You say the word and I'll make it happen. Okay?”

  
“Thanks Pep.” Steve spoke for them both, wondering just when it happened that they were a “we”.

  
It was only when Barton came over that Holly let go of Steve's hand, immediately being pulled into a strong silent hug by the archer. His one arm was around her shoulders, the other cupping the back of her head, his face pressed into her hair. It was such an intimate embrace that Steve almost felt like he shouldn't be seeing it. Natasha appeared from nowhere at his side and murmured, “He turned off his hearing aids, so make sure he can see your mouth if you talk to him.”

  
“Why did he turn them off?” It'd been a few months after the Battle of New York that he'd learned that their expert archer was actually deaf and the comm he wore in both of his ears doubled as hearing aids. Stark had made him new ones that would never run out of energy and were stronger than most.

  
“He didn't want to be able to hear Holly cry.”

  
That broke Steve's heart and he turned his head to see Holly wiping away new tears while Barton used his hands to speak to her, even though there was barely a foot of space between them. His eyes were filled with empathy and affection for his old SHIELD partner, his complete focus on her. He wouldn't expect any less, they'd known each other for nearly 20 years. Barton was her Bucky, he wagered their friendship was that essential to them both. Whatever he said, made her nod, blinking. He signed something else and she repeated it, after which Barton placed a lingering kiss to her forehead.

  
“Hey Sparks.” Stark came over and hugged her, sighing. Steve could see the sadness in the man's eyes that he'd shown back in September and before that when they had thought Coulson killed by Loki. Stark wasn't a large man but he engulfed Holly in his arms and she closed her eyes as he held her close. “It'll be okay kid. She's with your dad and Eddie now.”

  
Holly sniffled and pulled back after long minutes. “She said that she was looking forward to telling your father how wrong he was about you. The Battle of New York had her so proud, telling everyone how brave and selfless you were.”

  
Tony sighed and looked up to the ceiling, a silent thanks Peggy coming from his lips. “She was always very generous and patient. Especially with me.”

  
“Not if she didn't believe it, Stark. If Peggy believed in you, there was a reason.” Steve spoke up. It still bothered him that Howard had been such a hard man after the war. All that genius and he couldn't figure out how to love his own son. Thankfully, the influence the Dugan family and Peggy had on him as a boy made some kind of impact.

  
“Hey. Thanks Rogers.” Stark kept one arm around Holly before holding out his hand. “I'm very sorry about Peggy. She was a first class lady.”

  
Steve took his hand and shook it. “Yes she was.Thanks.”

  
“I'm very sorry for your loss, both of you. I wish I'd gotten a chance to meet Miss Carter in person.” Bruce spoke up softly. It was obvious that Bruce was feeling uncomfortable and nervous. “The Other Guy doesn't like Tiny Jedi being sad.”

  
“No one does.”

  
The group turned to see a very weary and sad Nick Fury standing in the doorway. Holly broke from Stark and ran to her godfather's arms, the one eyed former director holding her tight, her sobs renewed. Thanks to his advanced hearing, Steve could hear Fury quietly speaking to Holly. “It's alright. Hush now. Peggy was ready. You were there with her, you helped her. Shhh. It's alright. I'm right here.”

  
Steve turned back to see most everyone looking on the scene with sad eyes, though Pepper was crying again, Coulson being kind enough to hold her since Stark was focused on his pseudo little sister, his jaw clenched. No doubt he hated seeing her upset and not being able to make it better. Hawkeye had turned away and was signing to Natasha who watched for a moment before focusing on the archer and signing back to him.

  
“Hey Steve.”

  
He turned his head to see a very subdued Maria Hill, dressed casually in jeans and a Stark Industries tshirt. She must have come down with everyone from New York last minute. She looked tired and drawn. He wondered just how much she was mourning Peggy, considering how long she'd been in SHIELD and how high she had risen. “Hi Maria.”

  
“How are you dealing?”

  
He shrugged, looking back to where Holly was wiping away the tears she'd shed, nodding to what a very sad looking Nick Fury was telling her.. “Not really sure. I don't know if it's hit yet. I'm more worried about her.” He nodded toward Holly. “She just lost her mother, I can't really compare how I'm feeling to that. I've been there and that kind of pain is overwhelming.”

  
Maria nodded. “I get what you're saying but you don't have to quantify grief. It is, as they say, what it is. Peggy was very important to many people. When Fury made me his second, she called me. Gave me all these tips about how to deal with men not wanting to take commands from a woman. People forget what she had to fight through to create SHIELD. The barriers she broke.”

  
Steve nodded, remembering the stories Peggy told him about the harassment she faced with the SSR and the limitations people tried to put on her for being a woman. He wished he'd been there to set a few of those asses straight but realized that to make any difference, she had to do it on her own.

  
“I remember her saying that keeping those damned Dugan boys and the rest of the Commandos from killing anyone who looked at her funny was a full time job. You didn't mess with Peggy when they were around.” Holly interrupted softly, from Steve's left. Fury was by her side, the man looking like he'd lost family as well. Considering how long the man had been with SHIELD, he no doubt knew Peggy since before Holly was even born. Steve gave the man a nod, which he returned. “She appreciated their support, but she wanted to accomplish things without her own squad of misfit hitmen.”

  
Steve saw both Maria and Agent May smile and nod. Both were old enough to have at least potentially known her father, if not Dum Dum. “She had her hands full.”  
“We've already been getting emails and calls from governments and agencies all around the world, Holly. And get this, Queen Elizabeth is going to have a national day of mourning for Peggy for all the United Kingdom.”

  
Holly's eyes widened and she blinked. “Wait, you talked to the Queen?”

  
“No, I talked to the head of MI6. But there's a chance you might talk to her. Apparently Peggy talked about you on her last few visits back. The Queen was really impressed.”  
Steve saw her chin tremble and she put her hand flat to the top of her chest, swallowing. He looked to Barton who nodded and went over to get a bottle of water.

  
“She....she told the Queen of England about me?”

  
“You were her little girl, Holly. Every proud mother brags about their children.” May said softly. “You gave her so much to be proud of.”

  
“I...”

  
Barton handed her the water before signing probably the equivalent of what Steve was about to say. “Take a drink, doll. It's alright.”

  
She nodded shakily and took a long sip. “Sorry, I just...”

  
“No apologies today, Holly.”

  
Another silent nod. It was obvious she didn't trust her own voice at the moment.

  
“Want to try eating something? Just a bit?” Steve asked softly.

  
“Not hungry.” She murmured. “Can I see the emails?”

  
Coulsen lit up. It was giving him something to do to help, even if it was something small. “Yeah, sure! He turned to where Skye had been snacking on the food laid out. “Skye, can you get a tablet with those emails?”

  
“Sure thing boss.”

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Holly POV**  
Steve silently held the door open for Holly and she stepped inside his DC apartment to find it smaller, but not that much different from his apartment back in Avengers Tower. Or the temporary housing near Brooklyn that he'd had before the Battle of NY. The damage caused by the Winter Soldier, shooting Fury through the window had long been repaired. She refused to say it was Bucky Barnes. If anything, the apartment just looked like it felt. Lonely.

  
“I know it isn't much.” he apologized, carrying in both of their go bags as well as the specially made bag that held his shield. “I'll go out in the morning to get some food. Or we can go together if you want.”

 

She turned and looked at him. “It's fine. It just...well it feels lonely. Did you just sit here alone when you weren't on missions with Nat?”

  
He shrugged, closing and locking the door, putting in the security code as well. She recognized the system as the same one she'd gotten installed in California after SHIELD fell. Apparently she wasn't the only one that Tony had been looking out for. “Not always. I took a lot of runs around The Mall. Rode my motorcycle a fair bit. I kept busy. Watched television here and there when I found something I could follow without having to look up stuff. Documentaries are fantastic things.”

  
“And you visited Peggy.” She sighed, the pain still a heavy weight in her chest. She rubbed at her eye and stopped at the gritty ache from the amount of tears she'd shed already. “I was the one who got to tell her that they found you. Did you know that?”

  
Steve shook his head, but didn't look that surprised. “No, I thought maybe Coulson or Fury told her.”

  
“No, it was me. I was in California when you were found. It was right after everything happened with Tony and Hammer, the whole thing with the Expo. When he found out about all of us being SHIELD agents. I got called in to help when everything went down because of my familiarity with Tony and his technology. Bavaria wasn't my first experience with robots.”

  
“I thought that was when everything happened with Thor, losing Mjolnir and being in New Mexico.”

  
Holly sighed, taking a seat on his couch. “It gets confusing. You were found right after everything with Thor which happened right around the same time as the Expo. Coulson flew straight from New Mexico to New York, where they thawed you.”

  
Steve joined her on the couch. “Go on.” Had Peggy never told him this story? Or was it that he wanted her to talk about good memories with Peggy?

  
“Well I'm in California, commiserating with Natasha about what a pain in the ass Tony can be, mostly because he lost his mind when he found out about me being in SHIELD. I can't remember him being so angry in my life, let alone ever really angry at me. So I get a call and it's Coulson and he could barely get the words out.” She smiled faintly, remembering how excited her handler had been and how the news had helped with the sting from Tony's angry rantings. “Then he said the words. Holly, we found him! We found him!”

  
“And you knew he meant me?”

  
“Sweetheart, there are very few things on this planet that will get Phil Coulson to break his cool. One is someone messing with Lola. Another is people going out in public in their pajamas. But the biggest one is anything involving Captain America or his Commandos.” She shook her head. “You could almost hear him grinning. We found Cap, Holly. He's alive! He's alive!”

  
“But because they took me to New York, it wasn't like you could come and see for yourself.” Steve said with understanding. He didn't know how she almost did, part of her just as excited as Coulson.

  
“Yeah, so I did the next best thing. Got on the next flight to Washington. Showed up at Peggy's room in the middle of the night. I didn't even have to say a word. She just...” Holly swallowed, emotion getting to her. The memory of the hope and expectation on Peggy's face. She'd looked so young in that moment with just the light from the hall illuminating her. “She just sat up and said, 'They found him?'”

  
Steve held out his arm and she took the invitation, snuggling up to his chest and taking in the comfort as he wrapped both strong arms around her. A small part of her told her not to get used to this, it was only while they both dealt with losing Peggy. “She never gave up on me.”

  
“Never. None of the Commandos did. And especially not Peggy. She never gave up on me either. Even after I told her I was pretty much leaving active SHIELD service, she told me that one day I would be back, when I had time to heal. That she was proud of me for making a difficult decision for the right reasons.” She sniffled.

  
“She was always proud of you, Holly.” Steve murmured, giving her a squeeze with the arm he had wrapped around her. “I called her, after we went into the city for the first time. I told her how brave you were, how you insisted on going right to where the Towers had been. And she said she knew that you would make it there and she wished she could have been there for you.” He sighed, pressing his lips to the crown of her head.

  
“She knew everything, it felt like. Like after we talked about you being found, I told her about Tony's reaction to learning about my family and SHIELD. I was sure that he'd never forgive me, that was it. I'd lied to him my whole life and now he was gone.” She pulled back a little, taking a deep cleansing breath. Just thinking about how angry but mostly how betrayed Tony had been that day still hurt. “But Peggy was adamant that Anthony, she never called him Tony, that he would come to realize the reasoning for it all and to give him time. That Jarvis would explain it to him if need be.”

  
“Peggy knew Jarvis?”

  
Holly nodded. “Yeah. Both the AI and the butler slash problem solver that Howard employed. He died a year before I was born. Tony had a version of Jarvis at Peggy's nursing home for her. He even sent a sentry suit after SHIELD fell."

  
“I guess she was right on the money about Stark coming around.”

  
“Pretty much. Pepper told him off and then Coulson made a quick trip after you first woke up to lay everything out for him. Gave him a redacted version of our files, so he could understand it all. He flew here from Malibu to apologize to me for being like that.”

  
“I think the only people he apologizes to are you and Pepper.”

  
She smirked. “Yeah. I think Natasha scared him into an apology once. Maybe Nick too.”

  
“That I could completely see.”

 

**Steve POV**

After long minutes she spoke again. “What was it like, the first time you got to see her after you were thawed? I mean, it had to be a shock.”

  
Steve thought about it, his chest tight as he remembered the joy on Peggy's face and indeed, the shock of seeing her at such an advanced age while he hadn't aged at all. It had been right before the Battle of New York so he was still trying to wrap his head around it not being 1945 anymore. He'd almost been afraid to ask about her since he'd learned that the rest of the Commandos had passed, Dum Dum being the hold out. As always. And then Fury had asked him if he would like to see her.

  
“You don't have to. I know some things are private.” She said softly, making him realize he'd gotten lost in his own thoughts.

  
“Sorry, I just got lost in my head. It was before everything with Loki. I honestly didn't think....I guess I assumed she was gone like everyone else I'd known. I didn't ask, I didn't dare. I mean, Dum Dum had been gone 20 years when they found me and he was the oldest next to Colonel Phillips. I just figured that I'd just missed her. Then Fury asked if I'd like to go see her.”

  
“That was after you spent time at the cabin, reacclimating?”

  
He thought about the isolated cabin where he was able to come to grips with what had happened to him and begin understanding the world he found himself in. New York, let alone Brooklyn were almost completely different than what he remembered. “You know about the cabin?"

  
“Yeah. I've spent time there with some of the mutants and metas that I've helped. That's mostly why we had it. The isolation helps calm. It's nice. Quiet.”

  
He nodded. “Yeah it is.” A pause. “I was actually a bit afraid to go and see her, you know. I didn't know anything about what had happened after the war so I didn't know if she had married, had a big family or what. Hell, even if she remembered me.”

  
“Sweetheart, she never ever would have forgotten you.”

  
“I know that now.” He gave her a squeeze. “I remember insisting on bringing flowers. And I walked into the room and she was sitting by the window. She was nearly 100 but her eyes were the same. The exact same.” He paused, swallowing. “She looked at me and said, you're late.”

  
Holly no doubt knew what that had meant from when he'd gone to rescue Bucky and she made a little noise. “And you said?”

  
“There was a line at the florist. Can't show up at my best girl's place without flowers.” He choked, thinking of how she'd never stopped loving him, how she'd fought for so many years in his name. And now she was gone.

  
“Oh honey.” Holly moved so she could wrap her arms around him and he rested his head on her shoulder, trying to not cry. The balance of strength passed between them easily and wordlessly. “That's so sweet. She loved you so much. She was so proud to have known you.”

  
“I just...part of me wishes that...is it wrong that I feel awful that she never got married or anything because of me? I mean, she had no way to really know I was out there somewhere. And then there goes her whole life.”

  
“Steve, you were always with her.” Holly put her hand on his chest, above his heart. “Peggy was devoted to the work you began together. She wanted to make sure that the world you sacrificed yourself for was worthy of that sacrifice. There's a reason it was named SHIELD and not left as the SSR. And no, she never married but she had children, of a kind. Besides myself and Eddie, she was like a den mother to so many agents. That's why May reacted so strongly today. Peggy recruited her.”

  
He sighed and relaxed back into her embrace and she took the moment to press a kiss into his blonde hair. He was very thankful for Holly in that moment. He wasn't sure he could have made it through it all alone. Just like he wouldn't have been able to handle what he'd thought was Bucky's death without Peggy and the Commandos supporting him. “I can't say I'm going to miss her. I already do.”

  
“I know sweetheart. Me too.”

 

 **Holly POV**  
“Steve, it's fine. I can sleep on the couch. It's a nice couch.” Holly moved toward the sofa, dismissing Steve's apology for not having a guest room in his apartment. Why would he? He didn't know anyone really, let alone to have them visiting long enough to need a place to stay.

  
“Holly, no. I mean...damn it.” He moved forward and put his hands on her arms. “I want...I mean, I think it would be nice...” he sighed “I was thinking we could share the bed. Like when we shared the couch back at Coulson's? I just...I'd like you there. If you want.”

  
It was adorable how flustered he was getting just trying to ask her to share his bed with him with the implicit reason of just sleep. The same man faced down Nazis and aliens and entire secret agencies but this was what threw him. He looked supremely embarrassed, rubbing at the back of his neck and not meeting her eye. She had to remember that his sensibilities were still from 70 years ago. Not that people didn't sleep together back then, but Steve was very much a gentleman who even now, had no idea how to talk to a woman. Peggy would be laughing her head off that some things hadn't changed.

  
“Okay.” She said quietly, never imagining that he would ask her to do such a thing and very thankful at the same time. The last thing she wanted was to be alone. The fact that it would help him just as much as it would help her made her feel like she was 10 feet tall.

  
“Okay?” He repeated in disbelief, his blue eyes wide and surprised. Like he'd expected her to say no or be offended or something. Ironically, he was probably the safest guy she could ever share a bed with because he was just that kind of guy.

  
“Yeah. I wasn't really looking forward to trying to sleep on my own.” She gave him a small smile. “And we did promise to look out for each other.”

  
He gave her a brief brilliant smile. “Yeah we did. Do you have anything to sleep in? I know we didn't realize we'd be staying down here when we left this morning.”

  
She shook her head. She was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that just that morning she'd been in her Avengers' Tower apartment and had no idea how fundamentally her life would change. “No, I don't, honestly. Just another change of clothes. I'll have to go out and get something for...you know...the..” Her words fell over each other as she desperately didn't want to say the word funeral because it would bring reality down around her ears. The last couple hours of just watching TV with Steve had been an amazing distraction from the heartache. She could just pretend that they came down to DC to sightsee or to get away from the city.

  
“Hey...hey.” Steve moved forward and took her hands in his. “We don't have to worry about that right now. One thing at a time. Would you be able to sleep in one of my shirts? Would that be enough?”

  
She nodded, looking up at him. “Yeah that should be okay.”

 

Steve looked up from the bed where he'd just changed the sheets and everything when he heard the bathroom door open. The vision before him took his breath away. There Holly stood, wearing a t-shirt from the Smithsonian that he'd bought on a whim that said Howling Commando across it. It was his size so it was like a tent on her, the sleeves nearly to her elbows and the bottom reaching to just above her knees.

  
Her hair was down, her face freshly washed and with his enhanced senses, he could smell his toothpaste. He honestly couldn't decide if she looked adorable or strikingly sexy in his clothes. And strangely enough, he didn't feel that guilty because Peggy would have teased him and said he was still human, remember?

  
“Steve?”

  
Then he realized he hadn't said anything and was probably staring. Now he felt fully guilty. “Oh hey. Yeah. Umm, you look cute. I mean, nice, in my shirt. I mean in that shirt.”  
She gave him a soft smile, looking down at the shirt. “Hope you don't mind me picking this one. Just felt right.”

  
“What's mine is yours.” He waved to the bed. “Why don't you get in and get comfortable? I'll be just a minute.”

  
When he shut the bathroom door, he turned on the faucet and splashed the ice cold water on his face. What was he doing, even noticing anything about Holly right now? Peggy just died, for the love of Pete. He understood people did strange things in grief, but he was not going to be one of those people who used some kind of sexual intimacy to avoid dealing with it and up making things more complicated. That seemed to be a thing these days from what he'd seen on television and movies.

  
He was going to be there for Holly and if some time way down the road when they both came to grips with their grief she wanted to go have dinner as something more than friends, then he'd be more than happy to take her out.

  
If he survived tonight that is. He was only human and she was, well, amazing. Something she made him realize more and more since the day they met.

  
He walked back into the bedroom to find her tucked into his bed, looking at a tablet. She looked up and gave him a soft smile. It was striking how domestic she looked and strangely how comfortable. It warmed his heart, knowing she felt that kind of ease around him. “Do you prefer a side?”

  
He shrugged and considered telling her the last time he'd shared a bed with a woman had been when he'd had pneumonia for the third time in a year and his mother was resting with him to help him breathe because they didn't have enough pillows. But that sounded a bit weird for a grown man to say. “I'm not picky. Do you have a side?”  
“If you don't mind, can I have the left? I kind of liked listening to your heart beating this afternoon. Comforting. Is that strange?” Now it was her turn to be a little bashful and look away. He found it endearing.

  
He smiled and walked to the right side of the bed. “Not in the least.” He slid under the blanket and sheets, trying not to show any nervousness. Part of his brain kept reminding him that she wasn't wearing pants or shorts or anything. Her bare legs were right there.

  
“Want me to get the light?” She asked softly, putting her tablet to the bedside table on her side. Her side. That was a strange thing to think.  
“I can get it on mine. Do you have enough pillows?”

  
She smiled. “You're my pillow, sweetheart.”

  
He was quick to turn off the light so she didn't see him turn beet red. A bit of movement later and they'd gone back to the position they'd been in back on that couch. She resting with her head on his shoulder, arm across his chest, his arms wrapped around her. A guy could get used to this.

  
“Thank you Steve, for letting me stay here.”

  
“It was this or we both going to Stark's hotel.” He wasn't about to say that he was pretty sure there'd be no way they'd be resting like this if they were at the hotel.  
Her fingers traced absent patterns on his arm. “I like it here better. Quiet. Just us.”

 

 **Holly POV**  
Holly woke up confused. The bed she was in wasn't hers and a deep breath instantly told her it was Steve's bed. She could smell his soap and just him. Her memory returning to her, she was confused to find she was alone in the bed. She sat up, looking around. The bathroom door was open but the light was off. Listening carefully, she didn't hear the TV or his voice. Where was he?

  
She got out of the bed and carefully stepped out of the bedroom, not turning on any lights in case something had managed to happen while she was sleeping and somehow left no signs behind. Turning the corner, she let her guard down. Steve was standing in his big picture window, looking out onto Washington.

  
She watched him for a moment, curious as to why he'd gotten out of bed carefully enough not to wake her. The light from the streetlamp outside illuminated him softly and not for the first time since she'd met him, she thought to herself what a handsome man he was. Then she heard the very slight sniff and his hand rising to rub at his eye. That was why he was up.

  
She wasn't sure he'd heard her yet but with his enhanced senses, she didn't have to worry about surprising him so she simply padded up behind him and wrapped her arms around his chest, resting her head against his warm tshirt-clad back. Her hands just barely reached each other and simply laid flat against his torso. He let out a slight chuckle and covered her hands with one of his. “Not afraid to sneak up on me?”

  
“You wouldn't hurt me and you knew I was there anyway.” She murmured, closing her eyes. He was so warm. Some illogical part of her mind thought that he would be cold because he was sad. Silly, but she still thought it. “Why didn't you wake me up honey?”

  
“No need. I'm alright.”

  
“Hey.” She gave him a little pinch. “No fibbing to me. What happened? Bad dream?”

  
He sighed and his head dropped. “Yes.”

  
She let go of her hold on him and moved so she could see his face. He still looked haunted in the very faint light. She reached out and took his hand. “Let me do what I promised Peggy, Steve. Tell me so I can try and help.”

  
He looked back out onto the city. “It's stupid. I know it was a dream but it felt so real. It was so damn real.”

  
“It's not stupid if it bothered you. Tell me. Was it about Peggy?”

  
“Partly. I don't remember all of it, it's fading. Thankfully. I think I've had it before. But I remember that I stepped outside from somewhere and I was alone. Completely. I walked right down Pennsylvania Ave and there was no one. Nothing but crickets and then I was in this endless cemetery and I knew that I was the last man on earth. That I would always be alone because what they did to me, what I volunteered for would have me outliving everyone. The kid who couldn't walk a block without getting winded or getting his butt handed to him, now Captain America, the last man on earth.”

  
Holly's heart broke as she heard his voice tremble. She wondered if he was bothered by the fact that he aged incredibly slowly, even without being frozen for 70 years. And he had woken up to find nearly everyone he had known was dead. Now with Peggy passing, that fear had come back. It would scare her too.

  
“That sounds terrifying.” She consoled. “But you know that's not true, it won't happen. I promise you.”

  
“How do you know? We've both experienced things we thought would never happen.”

  
“Because you are not alone. Come on, you heard Tony of all people say it today. Avengers are family. You'll always have the team. And there's your friend Sam and Coulson, Maria too. And you have me. You promised to always be there for me, so that means I've got to be there for you too, right? And Peggy raised me to be even more stubborn than her and I have some of the serum. I'm not going anywhere, Captain.”

  
He closed his eyes and a small smile took his lips. “I know I've said it before, but you are a special kind of lady.”

  
“Thanks.” She smiled to herself as he initiated the hug this time. She held on to him tightly, reassuring him that she was right there, not going anywhere. “Now come on, you need to try to sleep and I need my new favorite teddy bear.”

  
He rolled his eyes and shook his head as she led him by the hand back to his bed. It was a bit surreal, considering she wasn't wearing much, just his tshirt. He got into the bed and she got on the other side. She nudged his arm. “Turn on your side, sweetie.”

  
He looked confused but did it and she scooted in right behind him so her front was to his back, though her feet barely reached his knees. She put one arm under the pillow while the other snuck under his arm and crossed his chest. Resisting the urge to nuzzle his impossibly long neck, she murmured, “Is this okay?”

  
A moment. “Yeah. It's nice.”

  
“It's called spooning.”

  
He snorted. “Yeah, I know what it's called. Back in my day, it was called staying warm in a freezing cold apartment.”

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the sake of the story, I have Coulson, Tony and Bruce all being 1965 babies. Just so ya know.
> 
> Also...I'm still looking for someone who could possibly be kind enough to draw a comic worthy picture of Holly...please let me know!

**Steve POV**  
Steve woke up confused. He smelled bacon and coffee, that meant breakfast. Who was making breakfast? And then he realized he was alone in the bed, which normally would be, well, normal. But after yesterday, his world had taken a tumble with the loss of Peggy. His heart clenched and he took a breath before tossing off the sheets and doing the necessities in the bathroom before padding into the kitchen. He assumed he would find Holly there doing the cooking that was making his stomach growl even though in his heart, he wasn't hungry.

Instead he was met with a strange sight of Holly sitting at the dinette table while Banner was at his stove, whipping something in a pan and Coulson was putting something in the refrigerator. There was a plate of what indeed was bacon on the counter near the stove. When did this happen and how did he sleep through it? He'd been told he was a very light sleeper since the serum. Maybe he'd been so exhausted or so comfortable with Holly there that he actually slept deeply?

“Oh hey. Morning Steve.” Bruce saw him first and gave him a nod, both hands engaged at the moment with making scrambled eggs. “We have some coffee if you want it. Bacon too. I'll have this ready in a few.”

“Oh uhh, yeah. Thanks. Morning.”

Holly gave him a strained smile, still dressed in just his tshirt, a cold bottle of Pepsi in front of her. She'd been so lost in her own head, her fingertips absently wiping at the condensation that even with her skills, she hadn't realized he was there until Banner spoke. “Hey sweetie. I woke up early and didn't want to wake you or just leave you alone, so I called Coulson and he and Bruce did a little shopping so we would have some breakfast.” She got up and took out a mug from the cabinet, the shirt riding dangerously high, making Steve force himself to watch her hand. Apparently she had no qualms about being half dressed around either of the older men. Then again, Bruce was essentially her doctor and Coulson had known her since she was a teenager.

“I appreciate that.”

She poured his coffee and set it down on the table, waving him over. He could see the strain in her eyes, the way she was holding herself. He reached out and gave her hand a squeeze, making her look up. Their eyes met and he didn't have to say anything and she nodded in understanding.

“Hope you don't mind me taking over your kitchen, Cap. But I wanted to get a break from the Koenigs. They've been following me around like dogs, waiting for me to turn into the Other Guy and wreck Coulson's place.” Bruce explained, adding a dash of salt to his pan.

  
“You didn't go to Stark's hotel?”

  
“Nah. Figured I could help Leo distract Jemma and look at some of the stuff she's been working on lately. Tony was bugging May about upgrades for the Bus until Pepper dragged him away.”

  
“Probably saving his life.” Holly quipped, a vague smile coming to her lips.

  
“No doubt.” Coulson joked.

  
“I have some scrambled here, do you want some pancakes too?” Banner showed Steve the very ready eggs. The scientist had told him once of how he enjoyed cooking because just as much as there was an art to it, it was a science as well.

  
“Just the eggs are fine. I'm not hungry, really.” He honestly didn't want to eat anything but his mother hadn't raised him to be rude or to waste food.

  
Holly's hand rested on his arm. “Steve, you have to eat. Especially with your metabolism. At least some toast with your eggs? Maybe a piece or two of bacon? It's the way you like it, barely crispy.”

  
He looked up at her, her eyes concerned. It was amazing how quickly they'd gotten into the rhythm of taking care of each other, the ebb and flow of it. “Only if you do too.”  
“Sir, yes sir.” She saluted with a wink.

  
Once everyone was seated and had food, Coulson spoke up. “How are you two doing? Get any sleep last night at all?”

  
Steve looked to Holly. Why would Coulson automatically assume they hadn't been able to sleep? Or was he assuming something else? Wouldn't he be concerned that they had rushed things in their grief? Wouldn't that have Coulson looking at him in disapproval for taking advantage of Holly?

  
“Oh. That's more me. I have a tendency to not sleep when I'm upset. Usually resulting in someone creatively dosing me with sedatives.” She turned her head back to Coulson, sitting across from her with a pursed look.

  
“It was one time and I wanted to test the new microdarts.” The man defended, putting butter on his toast. “I caught you!”

  
She said nothing and still continued the look.

  
“That was not me, that was Barton.” He put down the knife and dismissed the whole thing with a wave of the hand.

  
Still the look didn't change.

  
“Are you still mad about that? Geez.” He rolled his eyes and took a bite of his toast.

  
Banner looked between the two before looking to Steve. “Are you as lost as I am, Cap?”  
He nodded, scooping some of the eggs onto his toast. “Yeah, but you get used to it after a while. Thanks for making breakfast.”  
“Not a problem. It's a nice place you have here. Very retro.”  
“Compared to the Tower, yeah.”

  
“I like it. Much better than the apartment I had when I was at Julliard.” Holly spoke up after taking a long drink of orange juice. “Remember that hole in the wall?”

  
Coulson nodded with a grimace. “It was about half the size of this place and in a very nasty neighborhood.” He took a drink of coffee. “Your dad had me stopping by nearly every week to make sure it hadn't collapsed or worse.”

  
Holly nodded. “Yeah. One of my neighbors thought you were my overprotective father.”

  
The elder man sighed. “I would have been 15 when you were born.”

  
“I know. 1965 was a good year. You, then 2 months later Tony and two weeks after that, Eddie.” She looked to Banner. “And then 3 weeks later, little bouncing baby Bruce.”

  
Banner gave her a half smile. “Well 1980 had it's moment.”

  
“Thank you sir.”

  
They ate quietly for a few minutes before Coulson spoke up. Steve was able to imagine for just a little that they were just friends sharing breakfast like any other day. He didn't want to admit it but the food was really hitting the spot. He didn't even protest when Holly nonchalantly slid two more pieces of bacon onto his plate with her fork. “What's on your agenda for today?”

  
Holly looked to Steve and he shrugged. He had no idea. “I don't know. How are the arrangements coming?

”  
“Today's Tuesday, it looks like everything will be Friday. There are going to be a lot of people coming in. Security will have to be pretty tight, even for Arlington.”

  
“Because of us?” Banner asked, sheepishly. What he really meant was would it be because of him.

  
Holly spoke up before Coulson could. “Peggy founded SHIELD, Bruce. Alot of people out there didn't appreciate it. And with SHIELD files public and her connection to Steve, well, there's potential for trouble. Especially with her being the last surviving founder.”

  
Steve clenched his jaw. “Hydra.”

  
“Potentially. She had a long career and you have to consider the careers of the people in attendance. I'm sure there are people out there who wouldn't think twice about trying to take me out there.” Holly spoke up, like it was nothing to theorize that someone might be plotting her death.

  
“They are not going to touch you.” Steve almost growled. The idea that someone would use a funeral to assassinate someone for something they did years earlier infuriated him. But to think of someone trying to hurt Holly, let alone at her adopted mother's funeral just was too much. His mind flashed to Bavaria, her scream of pain, the blood on his shirt after she ripped her sutures on the plane. He barely registered that he was bending the fork in his fist. No one was going to even look at her wrong. He'd make sure of it.

  
“Hey, hey.” Her voice was soft and understanding. “That's why there's going to be extra security, Steve. It'll be fine. Okay?” She touched his arm. “Besides, I've been in a scrap or two. I think I can handle myself.”

  
“I know you can, just the idea of it.” Then a thought came to him that was like a bucket of ice water on his anger. “Do...do you think there's a chance....could Bucky be there?”

  
Holly's eyes widened and she looked to Coulson who shrugged. “I guess it would depend on if he's in the neighborhood, where his thinking is at.” Her hand squeezed his arm. “Sweetheart, we don't know if he knows who he is or what year it is. Maybe if he hears her name or hears about her connection to you, there's a chance.” She paused. “Please don't get your hopes up though.”

  
He nodded. He'd done that too many times in the last year only to be bitterly disappointed.

  
“Just the same, we'll make sure no one approaches or harasses him if he does show, Cap.” Coulsen spoke up. “I'll see to it that his photo is shown around so they know what to look for.”

  
“Thank you, Director.” He looked down at his half finished plate. “I just....Peggy helped me get to Bucky when...when he was taken by Hydra to start with. It would just be ironic if she somehow helped me get him back again.”

  
Holly's hand silently squeezed his arm.

 

\--------

“Holly? What's wrong?”

She looked up at him, blinking rapidly. “Huh? Oh, nothing. I'm fine.”

  
“Bull.” He touched her chin to make her keep eye contact. “No fibs.”

  
She sighed and held up a jar of something called Nutella. They'd both decided it would be good to get out of his apartment so a rental car was dropped off and they'd driven around before deciding to get a few groceries for the next few days in Washington. He was still kind of shocked at how matter of fact and without any discussion, they'd decided to just stay at his apartment together. And the fact that no one else seemed to think it strange or unusual. Natasha had even stopped by with a bag of clothes for Holly, realizing no one had thought to pack anything for her before leaving from New York. Other than the occasional call or message, they were being given their space. And he was incredibly thankful that she was willing to stay with him. He'd be losing his mind otherwise.

  
“Peggy loved this stuff. Couldn't get enough of it.”

  
He took the jar and looked at it. It was some kind of chocolate and hazelnut spread. “Must be good. Do you like it?”

  
She nodded. “It's great with graham crackers. I'm surprised I didn't leave crumbs and marks on my student's papers constantly. It's good grading food.”

  
It was funny how he had to remind himself that just a couple months ago she'd been a professor and still technically was. “Alright, why don't we pick some of those up too? I wouldn't mind trying it, if you both liked it that much.”

  
She gave him a weak smile as he dropped the jar in the cart. How long would it be for her to not be reminded of Peggy in every little thing around her? “Were you shocked the first time you went food shopping in a modern grocery store?”

  
He nodded. “Oh yeah. Just the produce section had me in fits. So many different kinds of vegetables and fruits from all over the world. The selection and quality were amazing. I nearly filled an entire cart that first trip. Did Natasha ever tell you about one of the first times I got her to laugh without trying?”

  
“Oh, when you asked her if she'd ever had a Kumquat?”

  
He grinned. “Yeah. I guess I didn't pronounce it right. She's never let me live it down.”

  
“That's cute. I guess people today don't realize just how lucky they are.”

  
“That's for sure. I mean, look at all the meat you can have and you don't have to ration it or anything. And different kinds of milk? It baffles me.”

  
“I wonder if the pre-serum you would have been able to eat a lot of this stuff, since you were allergic to so much.”

  
He shook his head. “I don't know. I do like not having allergies anymore, that's for sure.”

  
“And microwaves are better than boiling everything.”

  
“Except when you don't time it right and a potato explodes inside.” He sighed and hung his head. “I've gone through a few appliances during the learning process.”

  
She let out a soft chuckle that was music to his ears and wrapped her arms around one of his as he guided the cart, resting her head against him. “I've heard a few stories. Something about a toaster being nailed to the wall with your shield?”

  
“Oh come on, that happened once! It was right after New York, I hadn't slept. When it popped up, it was....it was instinct!”

  
“I get that. When I was in that crappy apartment when I was at Julliard, one of my neighbors had gotten this really obnoxious alarm clock. Loud enough that it woke up half the building and he could sleep right through it, for as long as it would go off. There was one morning, I'd just gotten back from a fight over in Hell's Kitchen and just passed out on my bed in the wee hours.”

  
Steve cringed. “I think I see where this is going.”

  
“I might have been asleep for maybe an hour? And that damn alarm clock went off. Not at the normal time either. I guess my body was still in battle mode because I might have accidentally pushed out with my ability against the wall and I guess it was hard enough to knock his bed with him in it to the other side of his apartment.”

  
His eyebrows rose. “Oh wow.”

  
“Yeah. Cracked the wall and everything. Daddy was very impressed, Fury not as much. Managed to cover it up by saying there'd been a burst pipe or something. Some bullshit that the idiot and the landlord fell for.”

  
Steve chuckled. “Okay, note to self, don't surprise wake up Holly.”

  
She laughed. “It was a one time thing.”

  
“I've noticed you don't use your ability much. Can I ask why?” He spoke softly, no doubt not wanting the other shoppers to overhear. One never knew who might be an anti-mutant whack job. Not that he'd let them get within a foot of Holly or spew one word of bigotry at her.

  
“Mostly to keep from being outed. I'm not ashamed of who I am, but you don't know how people will react. I've been disappointed more than once finding out about someone's anti-mutant bigotry. I also don't want to rely on it and then be at a loss when I can't use it or worse, accidentally use it in full few of civilians or students.” She shrugged as they moved down another aisle filled with dried pasta and canned goods. “I do practice with it but since I'm not exceptionally strong, it's not something I have to worry about losing control over like many other....gifted people.”

  
Steve nodded, his eyes scanning all the tomato sauces. He wondered if any of them could be as good as Mrs. Piscadelli's when he was a kid. She was an old Italian widow who lived down the block and had no issue with feeding just about any kid who came to her door. “Unless you are rudely awakened.”

  
“Yep. Then watch out world!”


	22. Chapter 22

 

**Steve POV**

Holly stepped out of the bathroom into Steve's bedroom where he'd quickly changed into his suit. It was remarkable how incredibly close they'd become in just a few days, supporting each other over their shared loss. While nearly everyone else stayed at either the SHIELD HQ or a luxury hotel that Stark owned, Steve had just silently brought Holly home to his DC apartment, borrowing a motorcycle from Coulson. He wasn't sure he would have been able to handle the last couple days without having her there to take care of and to take care of him. And though he'd never really shared a bed with a woman before, it was a comfort to have her there. A comfort he'd miss once they were able to breathe and start to move on.

  
He looked up, struggling with his tie, neither of them getting much sleep with the funeral that morning. She wore a classy but subdued black dress, her hair down and held back with a silver headband, her only jewelry a silver chain with a single pearl. She looked to be wearing a touch of makeup, no doubt to cover up the darkness around her eyes from all the tears she'd shed. Steve couldn't help but be stunned at how sadly beautiful she was and be confused as to why the necklace looked so familiar.

  
“Do...do I look okay?” She asked, looking down and smoothing out an invisible wrinkle.

  
“You look beautiful, Holly. Very respectable.” He sighed, his thumb nearly getting caught in his tie like a Chinese fingertrap. He didn't feel right wearing the modern style army dress uniform and he didn't have his old one since it was on display at the Smithsonian and they were still mad at him for stealing his old Captain America uniform. Stark had been kind enough to send over a nice classy black suit with a dark blue shirt and tie. Something told him it was Coulson who'd added the touch of the pin on the lapel being a tiny version of his shield with a black band of mourning across it.

  
Her lips twitched up slightly and she stepped over, her high heels allowing a few extra inches of height. “Let me do that.” She reached for his tie and he dropped his hands. “You are too tired, that's all. Maybe we'll be able to sleep better tonight. When she's with the family.”

  
“I've gone longer without sleep. Good sleep that is. I'm just out of sorts.” He paused, trying to look down at her while holding his chin up as her nimble fingers did his tie. “Why do I feel like I've seen that necklace before?”

  
Holly finished his tie and stepped back a little, her fingers playing with the pearl. “Because you probably have. It was Peggy's. She gave it to me when I became an Agent. I'd always loved it when I was a little girl and she'd let me play in her jewelry box.” Her chin wobbled and her voice choked on the last few words.

  
Steve reached out and gently touched his fingers to hers, over the pearl. “Focus on the good memories. She must have been over the moon when you became the youngest agent.”

  
“She was.” Holly whispered.

  
He pulled her close and held her so she could get herself under control. Today was going to be one of the toughest in both of their lives. He'd almost rather go take down a Hydra base than have to say goodbye to Peggy. A knock on the door interrupted them. “That's Sam, my friend who helped us during the whole thing with the Helicarriers and Bucky.”

  
“Falcon, right? He's a vet and counselor with the VA?” She took a cleansing breath, carefully dabbing at the corners of her eyes.

  
Steve nodded. “I wish you were meeting him under better circumstances. Come on.”

  
He led the way to the door and opened it to see Sam dressed in a dark suit, his brown eyes sad and concerned for his friend, a pair of sunglasses tucked into his pocket. Steve hadn't known the young Air Force flyer for all that long, but he was a good and loyal friend. “Hey man.”

  
“Hi Sam. Thanks for getting us. I appreciate it.” Neither of them had wanted to deal with Washington traffic on a day like today.

  
“Anything for you man. I'm really sorry about Peggy.” He looked and saw Holly. “Are you Holly?”

  
“Yes, hello.” Holly held out her hand.

  
“No girl, I've heard so much about you from Peggy, I have to hug you.” And with a nudge aside to Steve, Sam moved in and gently hugged a confused looking Holly. “After everything last year, to help Steve out and everything, I visited Peggy at the nursing home. She told me stories about the war, about forming SHIELD. And she told me all about her little girl.” He took her hands in his and looked her in the eye. “She loved you with everything she had and know this, she will always be with you.”

  
Holly was struck silent for a moment before giving Sam a strained smile. “Thank you. Thank you for visiting with her, for caring.”  
“I just had to find out what she ever saw in this goofball.” He joked.

  
Steve rolled his eyes. “The world may never know.” He turned to Holly. “Do you have everything you need?”

  
Holly nodded, reaching out and grabbing a small clutch that had been sitting by the door. “Tissues, eyedrops, taser, gun and kitchen sink.” She paused. “Oh and my staff.” She patted her hip. The slight flare of the dress hid it from notice, no doubt strapped to her thigh. The gun was in her back holster, he'd felt it when he hugged her. The taser was probably built into her clutch.

  
Sam's eyebrows went up. “Honey, we're going to a funeral, not a fight.”

  
“Peggy was a founder of SHIELD, Sam. She made a lot of enemies. Pierce had her, even at 100 on his list for the helicarriers last year.” Steve spoke up. “I wouldn't put it past Hydra to try something.” He reached down and picked up his shield, concealed in a specially designed bag. “I'm going to put this in your car, just in case.” He hoped he would be able to get to it if a fight broke out.

  
Sam nodded, blinking. “Well I guess it works that I don't go anywhere without my wings.” He held out his arm to Holly. “If you would do me the honor?”

  
She gave him a small smile and took his arm, sharing a look with Steve that told him she was glad she wasn't the only one on guard that day.

* * *

  **Holly POV**

Peggy hadn't been religious, so the funeral had been a simple one at Arlington. It was rather crowded thanks to SHIELD records being nearly all public domain. Peggy had made many friends over the years. Just the same, there was a strong amount of security in case the cowards of Hydra dared to attack the funeral, being that most of existing SHIELD and nearly all the Avengers were there, as well as the Vice President and many higher ups in the military. Holly hadn't cared for any of that, her focus being on the casket or on the stones besides where Peggy would be laid to rest, namely that of Dum Dum and Gabe.

  
The Vice President had spoken respectably of Peggy's service to the nation and the world, of her dedication and hard work. Former Secretary of State Clinton spoke of Peggy's great strides for women not just in the military, but in politics and the intelligence bureaus. Nick spoke very briefly, telling of the first time he'd met Peggy and how she had been there for him when he'd nearly died during a mission and gained his eyepatch. He had officially blown the cover off his faked death just to pay his respects to Peggy. Steve spoke briefly, speaking of her as the strongest woman he ever knew and how proud he was of the life she had led. He admitted that he wouldn't have accomplished anything during the war if it hadn't been for her unwavering support and belief in him. He'd paused a few times but kept his composure.

  
Holly couldn't speak. She knew she would start bawling if she tried. So Maria read her bit of eulogy for her, the former SHIELD agent struggling with her own emotion due to her respect and admiration for the woman who had led the way in creating SHIELD. Steve held her hand, Tony sitting on her other side, holding her other hand. A few people jumped when the full 21 gun salute was given and Holly couldn't help but let the tears fall as they watched a group of SHIELD fighters fly overhead with The Bus in the center, only to peel off on it's own journey to the heavens and seemingly disappear via cloaking. Silently she thanked May for the symbolism of Peggy being larger than life.

  
The soldiers in their dress uniforms folded the flag that had draped the coffin with remarkable ease and exactness and Holly was brought back to that difficult late September afternoon when a group of Navy officers and a group of Special Forces, who just happened to all be SHIELD had done the same for her father and brother. The head officer silently followed Steve's slight nod and corrected his direction to stop and drop to his knee to present the flag to Holly, his white gloves standing out against the dark blue and white stars.

  
The final touch had been left to Steve and Holly alone. She stood and handed the flag very carefully to Pepper, who was trying not to cry before she turned and took one white rose that Coulson had been kind enough to hold while Steve took the other. Their hands found each other, as they had repeatedly over the last few days and they walked together to the casket, surrounded by flowers and 3 large pictures. One was of Peggy during the war with Steve and the Commandos, another of her with Howard Stark, the Dugan boys and Colonel Philips. The third was of Peggy with Holly as a toddler and her teenage brother, all three smiling at the camera.

  
Steve squeezed her hand and she squeezed back as they looked at the casket, the sun reflecting off of it. His hand trembling, Steve kissed his rose before carefully placing it on the casket, quietly whispering “Goodbye Peggy.”

  
Holly took a moment and with a deep breath did the same, placing hers side by side with Steve's. She mouthed her goodbye, her throat too tight for words. Then she reached out and put her hand flat on the casket, hoping Peggy understood, wherever she was, just how much she'd meant to everyone. She didn't even bother to try to fight the tears.  
Steve's hand covered hers and after a moment, they both pulled away and made their way back to their chairs.

  
Pepper had lost her fight not to cry and Tony quietly took the flag and handed it back to Holly as she sat down. He didn't have even his usual smirk today. He simply wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pressed a kiss to her temple. She gave him the tiny smile she was capable of.

* * *

 

“We're going to have the afterwards at the hotel. Please come.”

  
Holly sighed, honestly not wanting to deal with a ton of people after the funeral. She was so incredibly tired. Drained and numb. “When?”

  
“In a few hours. There's no rush. You don't have to stay long if you don't want to.” Pepper encouraged softly. “We haven't gotten to see much of either of you and I know you are supporting each other but we want to support you both too.”

  
Holly looked to Steve who nodded a little. “Yeah, okay.” She shrugged. “I tend to go into isolation mode with this kind of thing.”

  
“We have that in common kid. I think you might have learned it from me.” Tony said, wrapping his arm around her shoulder from behind and kissing her cheek. Tony was far from an affectionate person except when it came to herself or to Pepper. Today, he was even more demonstrative, perhaps because the idea of mortality had been front and center the whole day. “It's strange to say but I'm glad Cap's been there for you.”

  
“Me too.” She gave Steve's hand a squeeze. “We'll meet you guys at the hotel. In a few hours?”

  
“Around six. It's more like a family dinner kind of thing or whatever. Go, get some rest and we'll see you then, okay?”

 

**Steve POV**

Sam dropped them off back at Steve's apartment, the ride back quiet except for Sam mentioning that the service was really well done. The pair agreed quietly and went back to looking out the windows, Steve sitting in the back.

  
Going up to his apartment was silent too, both of them exhausted and emotionally worn out. So worn out that Steve barely noticed that they'd changed out of their funeral clothes while in his bedroom at the same time until they were both dressed again in regular clothes.

  
He sat on the bed and watched Holly as she put the dress on a hanger and back in a dress bag, tucking the heels she'd been wearing under the chair. Her fingers fiddled with the pearl necklace before she left it on, taking out the headband and running her hands through her hair.

  
He wanted to say something, anything, but he didn't know what he could say. He held out his hand to her and she took it, letting him pull her over so she sat with him on the side of the bed. She sighed softly as he wrapped his arm around her, automatically wrapping her arms around his waist, resting her head against his shoulder.

  
“Thank you, Steve. For today. I don't think I would have made it this week at all without you.” Her voice was soft, nearly a murmur.

  
He gently stroked her long ebony hair, having discovered in the last few days that it comforted her immensely, even when asleep. She'd started having a bad dream the other night and it was the only thing he could think to do, that she hadn't seemed to mind it when he'd stayed with her on the anniversary of 9/11. “I think that's my line, doll. I probably would have gone out and done something stupid if you hadn't been here to ground me.”

  
She pulled back, looking at him. “Like what?”

 

He shrugged, embarrassed. “I don't know. Find a Hydra base and take it on by myself.”

  
She gave him a weak smile. “Wish you had said something, I wouldn't have objected to kicking some Hydra ass this week.”

  
He didn't quite laugh, rather he chuckled under his breath. “I should have known.”

  
“Yeah you should.”

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Holly POV**

“Thank you for driving me, Sam. I hate driving downtown. Always have.” Holly admitted as Sam skillfully weaved his way around a slow moving driver on their way to the J. Edgar Hoover building. Coulson had reached out to some old friends and gotten her clearance to meet with the Behavior Analysis Unit before she and Steve went back to New York with Natasha and Clint who had stayed behind to fly them home. Coulson also was keeping Steve busy by having him work with some younger agents on their hand to hand skills.

  
“I don't blame you. I'd rather fly myself.” He agreed, taking the proper exit. “Can I ask why Steve isn't with us and why we are going to the FBI in the first place?”

  
“I promised Peggy that I would help Steve find Bucky. I'm keeping that promise. These friends are experts in profiling. I've helped them over the years so they agreed to help me with this.”

  
“You trust them with something like this?”

  
She nodded. “I've worked with them many times. You'll see. They are good people.”

  
“And you don't want Steve to know why?”

  
She shifted in her seat. “It's not that I don't want him to know. But he's so adamant on finding Bucky himself and considering how long he was considered a ghost to the intelligence community and even to SHIELD, that's not going to happen. Steve's stubborn, he won't want help so I'm going to do it for him. Besides, profiling creeps him out.”

  
Sam chuckled. “And we know this how?”

  
“The day we met, I mentioned that among the many things I did for SHIELD and continued to do was behavioral profiling. So Steve asked me to profile him.”

  
“Ah, I see. And I'm going to guess there's more to not wanting Steve involved with your profiling buddies.”

  
She sighed. Steve had mentioned just how smart and intuitive Sam was. “There might be some aspects of the profile that won't exactly be very....kind...to Bucky. Truths that he might not want to address.” She looked out the window. “There's no way to really know how much of Bucky is left in the Winter Soldier. Yes, he pulled Steve out of the Potomac but he also put him in the river with severe injuries.”

  
Sam nodded grimly. “Yeah, you're right. Natasha even told him that he might not like what he found when he started his search. I've read that file, it's some scary shit.”

  
“But being Steve, he stubbornly did what he wanted to anyway. For him, it doesn't matter. Bucky is in there and he's going to save him again.”

  
“Yep. You are good at this profiling thing!”

  
“Thanks. The people we are going to meet are even better.”

* * *

 

  
After getting their visitor lanyards, they headed up to the fifth floor of the FBI headquarters, the home of the BAU. Stepping off the elevator, Holly noticed that it hadn't changed much since the last time she'd been there, a few years ago when the unknown subject had been a mutant and they'd needed help.

  
“Oh my god....Holly Dugan is that you?”

  
She turned to see the one person she was most looking forward to seeing, the ever bubbly and brilliant, Penelope Garcia. Today, dressed in a bright pink top, a purple skirt and polka dot leggings with impossibly high chunky shoes and a bow in her hair. “Well if it isn't the hottest woman in the FBI!”

  
The blonde squealed and all but tackled Holly, hugging her tightly. “Oh Holly love! I've been meaning to call you this week but we were in Nebraska on this very nasty case that I am desperately trying to erase from my memory. All I have to say is cannibals. Multiple.” She shuddered before her eyes went sad. “We would have been at the funeral otherwise, you know that right?” She babbled rapid fire, very characteristically. She almost sounded like Tony. She pulled back and looked right into Holly's eyes. “How are you lamb?”

  
Holly nodded, giving her old friend a weak smile. “I'm okay. Honest. It's been a really difficult week, but I'm dealing. Peggy got to go the way she wanted and I got to say goodbye and be there with her at the end. It's okay. Or it will be.”

  
“Oh honey, you are breaking my heart.” Then, Penelope noticed Sam and it was like a switch was flipped. “And who is this tall piece of chocolate?”

  
Holly stifled a snort. She absolutely adored this woman. “Down girl. This is my friend Sam. You might not recognize him without wings on his back.”

  
Penelope's eyes grew wide. “Oh my god, you're the Falcon! You fought with Captain America during that whole business last year! Oh my god, this is fantastic! I'm Penelope, it's really awesome to meet you.”

  
It was cute that Sam was actually baffled to have someone fangirling about him and not about just Steve. “Umm, thanks. Nice to meet you too.”

  
“What's this going on over here? Baby Girl, who are you harassing? Didn't we talk about that?”

  
Holly didn't even try to fight the smile she genuinely felt. It was good to be around old friends. “Derek Morgan, as I live and breathe!”

  
“Holly?” Derek stopped short and then covered the few feet between them quickly, pulling her into a bear hug, swaying back and forth with her. “Girl, I didn't know you were coming by. I would have made myself pretty for you.” He flashed her his characteristic killer smile and batted his eyelashes.

  
She shook her head and smacked his arm. “Behave yourself, Special Agent.” She turned to Sam. “Derek, this is Sam Wilson. Coulson and Steve are both bickering over whether he should be in the new SHIELD or an Avenger.”

  
After shaking hands with Sam, Derek smirked. “On a first name basis with Captain America huh? Interesting.” He teased before taking her hand. “I'm really sorry about your mom, sweetheart. Penelope told you we were on a case, right? We would have been there in a heartbeat otherwise.”

  
Holly nodded. “Yeah. I understand. Believe me, there could have been dancing elephants and I probably wouldn't have noticed. I appreciate it though. Aaron and David sent me the card you all signed and the flowers were beautiful. Thank you.”

  
“You here for a case?”

  
“Kind of. Let's see if we can't hunt down the rest of your merry band before going into it.”

  
Derek held open the glass doors that lead into the always busy BAU. “Well I'll have to call up your friend Hawkeye and borrow a bow so I can be Robin Hood. They can all be my Merry Men.”

  
“Sir, I must protest! I am not a merry man!”

  
Holly turned to see a pair of skinny legs propped up on a desk, protruding from a copy of the New York Times. The one person in the BAU who would just nonchalantly quote an episode of Star Trek The Next Generation. So she turned and said, _Aber du siehst so süß in Strumpfhosen_ (But you look so cute in tights!)

  
She could almost see him stiffen in recognition and confusion and then muffle a shriek as he tried and managed to succeed in not tipping himself over in the dangerously unbalanced chair, the newspaper flying everywhere. It didn't gather much attention from the other agents, they were no doubt used to the hurricane that was Spencer Reid. Sam was snickering from behind his hand. “Holly?” He squeaked from behind the paper, managing to extricate himself from major injury. Even if he'd started to tip, she would have balanced him out with a touch of her ability that no one would notice.

  
“Hey Reid.”

  
He put down the paper and his eyes grew wide when he saw her.“Oh wow, it really is you.” He scrambled out of the chair and instead of hugging her, took her hand. Reid was very repectful of boundaries even when he didn't need to be. “You are the only person who'd tease me in flawless German.”

  
“I feel special. How are you kid?”

  
“I'm only a year younger than you.” He whined.

  
“Doesn't matter. Still a kid.”

  
“I'm alright. I was sorry to hear about Director Carter. Are you here for a case?”

  
“Thanks. As for the case, in a way, yeah. Where's Hotch?”

  
“He's in the meeting room with Rossi and JJ, they're waiting for us.” Penelope spoke up, her phone in hand. “Let's go.”

 

**Sam Wilson POV**

Sam quietly wondered if there was anyone that Holly didn't know, the other three agents all hugging her with familiarity, the leggy blonde choked up about Peggy. He could get that, she'd been very influential in making it so that woman could be SHIELD agents or in the FBI or CIA as more than just secretaries. He'd been impressed at seeing Hillary Clinton at the funeral. The older Italian man had hugged her, saying something in Italian that made Holly nod and smile just a little.

  
“Would you like to present, Holly?” The team's leader, Aaron Hotchner asked as everyone took a seat with large cups of coffee or water. He seemed rather stern but Sam had noticed his eyes soften when he offered his condolences to Holly about Peggy, mentioning that his son still loved the Captain America costume she'd sent him for his birthday a few years ago. She told him the next time they were in Washington they'd have to arrange for Jack, his son, to meet Steve.

  
“If Penelope doesn't mind. I have everything on Stark tech.” She held up her wrist, showing a specially made watch, along side the bracelet that Steve had told him apparently was like a remote locator for her own Iron Man suit that Stark had given her for her birthday.

  
“Of course, mi casa es su casa.” The curvy blonde said with a smile, taking a seat next to the guy named Morgan.

  
“Ok, Jarvis has already sent the files to your tablets.” With a wave of her hand, holographic screens came up, one familiar showing parts of the fight with the Winter Soldier. Another showed a picture of the same man looking very different in his army uniform in 1943.

  
“I'm here to ask you guys to help me find this man. I'm sure a few of you might recognize him from when everything went down here in Washington last year thanks to Hydra and Project Insight. He may be listed by the FBI as only the Winter Soldier, but his real name is James Buchanan Barnes.”

  
“Wait, as in Bucky Barnes? Friend of Captain America? Didn't he die during the war?” Reid spoke up.

  
“Yeah, wouldn't he be in his 90s now?” The older Italian man who'd introduced himself as David Rossi spoke up, looking at his tablet.

  
“He'll be 99 in March.” Both Holly and Reid said in unison.

  
“Oh for the love of christ, there's two of them.” Rossi sighed, making the two young people shrug and the others chuckle. Apparently this Reid kid was known for interrupting with exact information.

  
“He was believed to be dead, yes Reid. In January 1945, he was presumed dead after falling from a fast moving train in the mission to capture Dr. Zola, a top scientist working with Johann Schmitt, the head of Hydra.” A flick of her fingers showed the round faced scientist as well as Schmitt. Sam was glad it was a picture of Schmitt before he became the Red Skull. Between what Steve had told him about the guy and what he had done to himself in an effort to become a “super man”, it was more than enough to creep Sam out.

  
“How did he survive?” The leggy blonde asked.

  
“Hydra. Prior to the fall, Barnes had been a prisoner of Hydra, along with the rest of the men who would become known as the Howling Commandos, including my Uncle Dum Dum.” A wave of her hand showed the group of men, happily sitting around a table in a bar. He could see her resemblance to her uncle in her eyes but also in her smile. Something her dad must have shared with his brother too. “Until their rescue by Captain Rogers, many of the men were experimented on and many died. Sergeant Barnes was one of the few survivors of the experiments.”

  
“Was Zola involved in the Super Soldier project before Dr. Erskine defected to the States?” The Reid kid asked, sitting forward in his seat, very engaged.

  
“Reid, when did you become an expert on the history of Captain America?” Rossi asked.

  
The kid looked confused. “I read Holly's book again before we sat down.” He held up a copy of Captain America: Legend and History.

  
Now Sam had to say something. It made sense that one of her friends would have a copy of her book but he'd been surprised to see her. There was no way he reread the entire book from then to now. That wasn't possible. “Wait, you read a nearly 400 page book in the 10 minutes between seeing Holly and us sitting down here?”

  
The kid nodded nonchalantly. “Yeah.”

  
“Sam, Reid's a genius. A supergenius, really. He has photographic memory like Steve and I, but can read 20,000 words a minute.”

  
“Whoa. Okay. I'm impressed.”

 

“To answer your question, Reid, no. Zola only became involved with Schmitt after Erksine defected. He was very much a second rate scientist, if you ask me. Schmitt wanted to not only harness the power of the gods, as he put it by making use of what we now know to be the Tesseract, but by creating a group of super men to take over the world.”

  
“Schmitt was a megalomaniac who didn't see himself as a failed experiment when the unprepared serum made him the Red Skull.” Agent Hotchner spoke up. “He wanted more men like him and used Zola to work on a new serum, somehow powered by the Tesseract?”

  
Holly nodded. “Unfortunately there was a Hydra agent there when Steve was given the perfected serum that made him into Captain America. He murdered Dr. Erksine and in the process, the only remaining true sample of the serum was lost.”

  
Sam looked at Holly confused and she caught it. “The serum that was later given to myself, my brother, Coulson and others isn't the same as what was given to Steve. It has to be adjusted for each person and not every person can take it. That's unfortunately what resulted in not just the Red Skull, but the Hulk and Abomination.”

  
“Let's get back on track. Was Barnes able to survive the fall from the train because Hydra had given him their version of a super soldier serum?” Hotchner spoke up, looking like someone had just taken a shit in his coffee.

  
“It's the only explanation that makes sense. We theorize that after the fall, he was recovered by Hydra with catastrophic injury to his left arm or even without it. Somehow they found him before the SSR could and from there, we don't really know what happened to him. We believe he was experimented on further in addition to being given a cybernetic arm that has been identified as having some early Stark Industry tech.”

  
“When did Barnes first emerge as the Winter Soldier? I'm assumed he's got some kind of conditioning or brainwashing?”

  
“Sightings of the Winter Soldier have been rare over the last 70 years with the exception of last year. Barnes was an expert sharpshooter and no doubt that there have been many assassinations that could be attributed to him. The first that we know for absolute sure was in November 1963, in Dallas.”

  
“Are you trying to tell us he killed Kennedy?”

  
She shook her head. “I'm saying he was there. Witnesses report seeing a dark haired man with a quote shiny arm struggling with another man on the grassy knoll. We know that the mutant known as Erik Lensherr, also known as Magneto was there trying to prevent the assassination of President Kennedy who we now know was a mutant. I think Barnes was supposed to be the assassin but couldn't follow through. The struggle they saw was between him and his Hydra handler who unfortunately finished the job. Lensherr might have inadvertently helped the wrong assassin that day.”

  
“Wow. History comes alive.” Rossi snarked. “You think he's fighting the brainwashing? That's not an easy thing to do normally, who knows what those Hydra thugs did to enhance it.”

  
Holly nodded. “Agent Romanoff, aka Black Widow encountered him about 10 years ago and instead of simply killing both her and his target, he shot through her, somehow missing every vital organ when he could have taken a headshot. Again, last year, he only shot her in the shoulder. When he fought Captain Rogers on the helicarrier, each of the bullet wounds missed a major organ or artery. I think that's a lot more that coincidence. He was an expert sharpshooter during the war.”

  
“He still is, I can tell you that from first hand experience.” Sam spoke up, remembering being impressed with the man even as he tried actively not to be one of his victims.  
“The Winter Soldier hasn't been seen since last year?” JJ asked, her eyes serious as she looked at her tablet.

  
“There have been rumored sightings, but most are just people looking to see if they can get Captain America to show up to their town.” Sam spoke up. “We were all over Europe last year following leads. He's just too good at hiding his tracks. If he was there at all.”

  
“Is there a chance that Hydra has him again? That they are hiding him somewhere, reinforcing his brainwashing?”

  
Sam saw Holly stiffen and briefly close her eyes. “I'm hoping not. With Hydra being flushed out along with the efforts of the new SHIELD and the Avengers, I don't think they have the capacity or the focus. I'm hoping that you guys can look at the file and maybe see something that I or any other profiler with SHIELD hasn't seen. Jarvis is constantly monitoring for any sign of him, the last sighting being at the Captain America exhibit at the Smithsonian, two weeks after the helicarriers were taken down.”

  
A wave of her hand showed a picture of a rough looking man in an olive green trench coat and hat, long hair falling over the collar, standing ironically right in front of the memorial display for himself.

  
“He's trying to remember who he really is.” JJ murmured. “Did he recognize Captain Rogers?”

  
“Enough to not kill him when he could have and to pull him out of the Potomac.” Holly said softly. “That's the one thing I'm hoping we can count on. Bucky remembering Steve and thereby remembering himself. Or remembering who he used to be.” She waved away the screens, leaving up a repeating image that was used at the Smithsonian of Steve and Bucky filmed during the war laughing together.

  
“I know you have official cases but I'd appreciate if you could help me find him. I promised Peggy that I would, for Steve. He won't be able to let go of the past until he knows Bucky is safe. And it would make me feel better. He's a Commando after all. Commandos are family.”

  
“We'll do what we can Holly, but we can't promise anything. Our caseload has grown a great deal lately and it's harder than it used to be when profiles have to include whether the unsub is a metahuman or a mutant. What if we locate him?”

  
“Absolutely do not engage. Do not even approach or go anywhere near him. Not even to contain.” She said adamantly with wide eyes. “The last thing we want is for him to feel trapped or endangered. If he's managed to fight the brainwashing, he could be experiencing PSTD or even schizophrenic paranoia. Add that to enhanced strength, agility and an adamantium arm, he's potentially very dangerous. Contact me and the Avengers can handle it. We don't even want Director Coulson's new SHIELD team to attempt an apprehension, that's how serious this could be. Penelope has a direct link to Jarvis.”

“Remind me again how we didn't recruit you for the BAU?” Agent Hotchner said with something approaching a smile. “I would think you gave briefings and profiles all the time."

  
“The same way SHIELD wasn't able to recruit any of you.” She said with a smile. “But thanks.”

  
“Wait, explain something to me. Y'all are profilers so you'll be able to explain it. How is it that someone as young as Holly can do all the things she does? Fight, teach, play music, speak friggin German?”

  
“Actually, I'm younger than her and I speak 10 languages and have 3 doctorates.”

  
“Only because I focused on black belts, there Dr Reid.” Holly said with a raised eyebrow. “And I was taught several languages from an early age. I can speak German, Russian, Lahkota some Italian, my French is horrible along with my Spanish and Arabic, I can do sign language, understand Latin and Mandarin. Standard SHIELD training, honestly. Kids learn languages much easier than adults do.”

  
“Yeah but I'm talking about how you can teach history and play the cello and profile guys named Dr. Doom and the Winter Soldier and fight along the Avengers. How does that work?”

  
“You work with veterans, you tell me.” She said simply, giving him a challenging eyebrow.

  
At his confused look, Morgan spoke up. “Sam, don't you recognize hyper vigilance?”

  
“She doesn't have PTSD. I work with veterans every day with PTSD.”

  
“A person can have hyper vigilance without any kind of traumatic experience. Holly was raised within a secret agency and taught to defend herself and others at a very early age. The potential threat that existed considering who her father was would have an effect on a young child. I would wager that led to a form of mission oriented OCD. The more she learns and is able to do, the more she'll be better able to protect someone or fight someone else. And it no doubt increased after September 11th when you lost your family.”

  
Holly nodded.

  
“Helps that she's a genius too.” Rossi said.

  
“And a mutant.” Reid said quietly. “It's been theorized that even Delta level mutants use up to 6% more of their brain than regular humans. Most known mutants tend to have higher Iqs and tend to retain and process information at a higher rate than non-mutants.”

  
“And then there's you, kid. Standing out from human and mutant alike.” Morgan said with a grin, playfully ruffling Reid's hair to the younger man's annoyance.

  
Holly groaned. “God, they are making me out to be such a Mary Sue, Penelope!” She sat down at the chair next to the blonde and sighed dramatically.

  
“What's a Mary Sue?”

  
“In fiction, particularly internet fan fiction, a Mary Sue is usually an original character who is just too good to be true. They have few faults except those that make them somehow special to everyone they encounter in the fiction. They do most everything perfectly and are the focus of everyone's attention.” Reid spoke up again. Was there anything this kid didn't know. “It's considered a negative by most critics due to it's lack of realism.”

  
“When did you start reading internet fan fiction?” Rossi asked with an incredulous tone.

  
“When Garcia started making me.”

  
Morgan snorted. “That's my Baby Girl, corrupting the boy!”

  
“You better believe it!” Garcia grinned. “Besides, you are not a Mary Sue, Holly! You still have yet to defeat me at Candy Crush.”

  
Holly snorted. “Oh! You had to bring that up! The agony of defeat!”

 

 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay....after the move, Hydra attacked...with bedbugs. *sigh* It's a smallish chapter but I should update more soon!

**Steve POV**

“Captain Rogers?”

 

Steve looked up from the collage of photos that Holly had insisted he take from Peggy's effects. It was one showing his Commandos being what they had been in the war, a family. It was good to see but it made him ache deep down because neither he or Bucky had been there with them. He hoped Peggy was telling them just how much he missed each of them.

 

His favorite was that of Peggy, already in her 60s holding a toddler Holly, her father, brother and Dum Dum proudly standing around them. From the look in the eyes of the adults, it couldn't have been too long after Rose Dugan had been killed. He wished he could have seen Peggy being a mother. He'd heard so many stories in the last few days. The one that made him smile but also made his heartache a little was her reaction to Holly taking out a bully in kindergarten, using the self defense moves she'd already been learning at such a tender age. Peggy had taken her out for ice cream and told her how proud she was and how she was doing what Commandos did, protecting those who couldn't and taking care of bullies.

 

“Yeah, Jarvis?” He said finally, pulling himself out of his musings.

 

“Captain, I'm concerned about Holly. I understand you are both mourning the loss of Miss Carter. Indeed, Sir has been most nostalgic, looking at old photographs.”

 

Steve furrowed his brow. “I'm not understanding Jarvis. Why are you worried about Holly?”

 

“Since you're arrival back at the Tower this afternoon, she has done quite literally nothing but stare out the windows of her loft. She has been doing this for the last 4 hours, 38 minutes. This is atypical behavior. Like Sir, she is usually multitasking. I am concerned.”

 

Now Steve was too. That was completely unlike Holly. He'd teased her before everything with Peggy that she was more like Stark than she realized. It had been when they were sparring. Next thing he knew, he was on his back and she was sitting on his chest, her staff to his throat in victory. She was still teaching, even as she helped with missions, assisting Stark in testing new equipment and training. Now she was just staring?

 

“Alright Jarvis. Thank you. I'll go down to check on her.” She'd been fine earlier when they'd gotten back and he had helped bring in her bag. That's when they saw that someone had unpacked Peggy's effects. It'd probably been Pepper and Maria from the care the items had been arranged in.

 

“Thank you Captain.”

 

* * *

**Holly POV**

 

“Holly? Holly, doll, you in there?”

 

She blinked and turned her head at the gentle voice and looked to her left to see Steve, his blue eyes filled with concern, kneeling by where she had a lounge chair looking out the windows. When had he gotten there? “Steve?”

 

He nodded, his hands reaching for hers. “Holly, you've been sitting here for a long time. Are you alright?”

 

She blinked at him confused. They'd just gotten back. Then, looking to the window, she realized night had fallen and her loft was illuminated by lights, no doubt thanks to Jarvis. “Oh. I...I didn't notice.”

 

“You didn't react to Jarvis and it took a bit for me to get your attention. I think maybe you need to talk to someone, doll. This isn't like you at all. Agent May told me that her ex-husband, Andrew, was a counselor of sorts with SHIELD but now he teaches at one of the schools around here. That he helped you and other agents deal with September 11th. I'm a good listener but I'm not a trained one. Can we call him?”

 

“I'm not crazy, Steve.” She automatically defended.

 

“I know you aren't. But sometimes you need someone outside of your friends to talk to. Someone unbiased. You know if I don't call, someone else will. We can keep it private if you want. Maybe meet him somewhere.”

 

“You've thought a lot of about this.”

 

“Actually, Pepper suggested that I might want to talk to a counselor after everything last year with Insight and Bucky. They tried to shrink my head when they first woke me up but it didn't help. I think if Agent May is suggesting him, this Andrew might be a help.”

 

She felt her lips twist in a little smile. “You already called him, didn't you?”

 

Steve smiled sheepishly and looked down. “Yeah, you got me. Tomorrow morning, we'll go out for breakfast and meet him. Okay? Just a chat. Maybe it will help both of us.”

 

She nodded, knowing he was right. She hadn't lost time like this since they thought they lost Coulsen and even that wasn't anywhere near this. “Okay.” She tugged on his hands. “Come up here and sit with me.”

 

He moved gracefully and almost matter of factly pulled her into his arms, hugging her close and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. That alone filled the emptiness that had snuck in after looking at all of Peggy's things with warmth and comfort. “You might feel alone, Holly but you aren't. You won't ever be alone.”

 

She snuggled into him, giving into the comfort he always seemed to give her. It was strange to think the word always, they'd only known each other a few months. But that's how it felt and she knew that Steve wasn't kidding when he said that she would always have him. Peggy wanted them to take care of each other and that was enough. For both of them. “You either.”

 

 


	25. Chapter 25

**Holly POV**

She gave up finally. She couldn't sleep. All her mind could think of was how big and sparse her bed was without a certain Super Soldier in it. She'd gotten so accustomed to sharing with Steve from the time they were in Washington dealing with everything with Peggy to the few days after when they returned to Manhattan. He'd helped her deal with the funk she'd fallen into after returning back and had kept an eye on her since. He'd been right about talking to Andrew and it seemed to have helped him as well.

The last few nights, due to missions or whatever, it'd been passing ships in the night. He in his apartment upstairs and she in her own. She spent a good deal of time with Tony and Bruce being their human guinea pig for some big plan Tony had come up with for her after Bavaria. The last time she'd gotten more than a few minutes to talk to Steve had been a few days ago. Since then, she hadn't slept very well and she was feeling it, serum or not.

Could she just go upstairs to Steve's apartment? She knew him, he wouldn't turn her away. But should she? It wouldn't like in Washington, where they had clung to each other out of desperate grief. Would he be embarrassed? Peggy had told her many stories about how awkward Steve had been around women. He was better now, no doubt thanks to Natasha, Maria and even Pepper but he was still a man of his time.

“Captain Rogers is not sleeping either, Holly. It seems you are not the only restless one tonight.” Jarvis spoke softly. “Perhaps together you could find sleep?”

She smirked and sat up in her bed. “Why Jarvis, are you suggesting I break into Steve's apartment and sneak into his bed?”

“No, his apartment door is unlocked. There would be no breaking and entering.” The snarky AI responded. “The sneaking however is entirely your prerogative.”

She shook her head and swung her legs out of the bed. “Smartass.”

 

* * *

 

She took a breath before walking into Steve's bedroom, his apartment similar to hers except she had a lofted bedroom area and Steve had an actual room. The nights were off, but the windows weren't blocked and she could see his silhouette sitting up on the side of the bed. The moonlight coming in cast him in half shadows.

“Couldn't sleep either?” He asked quietly, not moving at all. Had Jarvis told him that she was coming or had he heard her enter? Or, was he just sitting there having the same debate she'd been having?

“No, I couldn't.”

He exhaled through his nose. “Funny, I was contemplating if I'd be overstepping to go downstairs to your place. I mean...you know.”

His sudden awkwardness at answering her unasked question was adorable. “It wouldn't be overstepping Steve. Jarvis wouldn't let you if he thought you were. Otherwise, the door is always open.”

“And you wouldn't pull a gun on me if you were asleep?”

She smirked, stepping over and sitting down on the bed herself. “Nah. I don't need a weapon. Even in my sleep, I trust you.”

He smiled a little. “Thanks.”

“What's keeping you up? Brain won't turn off?”

He shook his head. “Bed just....” he mumbled the rest. “...seemed too big.”

She'd never admit it, but her stomach flipped a little at that. He'd missed having her there too. It was a strange kind of satisfying feeling that she brought as much comfort to him as he did to her. “Well, if you want, I can try and hog up the rest.”

“I hope so. I didn't want to have to ask Banner.”

She snorted. “And he totally would too, I think.”

 

**Steve POV**

Steve watched from the doorway as Holly practiced her hand to hand work on her own. Her black hair was pulled up into a high ponytail and she was dressed only in spandex shorts and what Pepper had told him was called a sports bra. He was sure he was probably blushing, seeing her in what to his sensibilities was a state of undress. Just the same, he couldn't stop watching.

  
She had a magnificent body, from both a soldier's point of view and that of nearly any red blooded man. He could see that she had next to no body fat but it didn't make her so skinny like the women he saw on TV today. He wasn't sure how stick figures were attractive. She had a figure, curves and all of it. It was something he couldn't help but notice in the days following their shared loss of Peggy and their need to stick together, including what little sleep they were able to get. It was good to see her practicing, something May's ex-husband had suggested to help deal with her feelings of loss in regards to Peggy.

  
He was content with watching until she went to do a handstand and grunted outloud before doing a slow tumble to the floor, her arm apparently not wanting to hold her that way. It was her left, the one that had been dislocated and so contused after Bavaria. She sat up, cursing under her breath, rolling the shoulder with a grimace, trying to rub away the discomfort it herself.

  
“Hey, you alright?” He stepped forward, never able to ignore a woman in distress, especially this one in the last few months. It was more than the promise he'd made to Peggy. It was a promise he made to himself. Holly had helped him feel not so alone in the world, even with being in the Avengers. He wanted to make sure that feeling was shared.

  
She looked up and he swore some of the color in her face was thanks to him. Unlike Natasha, Holly wasn't quite able to hide all her emotions, from him anyway. “Oh, hey Steve. I'm alright. My shoulder is being stubborn today. I was helping Tony test out some of the tech he's working on for the team and I think I might have overdone it or something.” She sighed, rotating it again. “Doesn't help this is the shoulder that always gets the abuse.”

  
It was when he got closer that he was better able to see her scars, signs of the wounds Natasha had told him about. And right there, near the end of the strap of her sports bra, just below her collarbone was the small round scar of a bullet wound, standing out against her naturally tan skin. “Like when you got shot?” He kneeled down on one knee and somehow felt comfortable enough to reach out and touch the small smooth scar with his fingertips.

  
She nodded. “And the muscle strains and torn ligaments from Bavaria.” She pointed to her back where he could see a thin line of a scar across the shoulderblade as well as the larger scar from the aforementioned bullet's exit. “That was from Belaruse.”

  
“I would think the serum would keep you from scarring. I barely have anything left from back when SHIELD fell and I think I got shot 3 times.”

  
“Half dose verses full dose, sweetheart.” She said, grimacing as she stretched her arm out and made small circles with her fingertips, gradually widening it. “If I didn't have the serum, I'd probably not have managed to survive Bavaria or even the gunshot.”

  
He didn't like to think of how Bavaria could have ended up, his mind flashing back to seeing her prostrate in the snow with blood coming from her nose and ears. “Here, let me help.” He moved behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders, shaking off the negative images of the past. “Trust me, I'm actually very good at this.”

  
She turned her head to the right. “SHIELD had you take a massage class?”

  
He chuckled. “No, when my mother was sick with TB, the coughs would have her all tensed up and hurting. I used to massage her shoulders and back to make it easier for her to breathe. I knew a lot of tricks for easier breathing back then from my asthma. Not like today with inhalers and those nebulizer things.”

  
“Well if it worked for Momma Rogers, then by all means.”

 

**Holly POV**

Within a few moments, Holly was fully convinced that if the whole superhero thing didn't work out, Steve could definitely be a very successful massuse. One would think that with his enhanced strength, it would be awkward to try and give a massage without making it worse, but somehow he made it hurt just enough that you felt better. She let her head drop and was probably biting her lip bloody to keep from moaning. His hands were amazing. Not just with how he managed to work out the knots without being ineffectual or too harsh, but with how they just felt against her bare skin.

  
She hoped he couldn't see her face because she was sure that she was flushed from thinking about what it would be like to get a full massage, imagining Steve's hands massaging her entire body. It didn't help that she had rather extensive experience with knowing what it was like to share a bed with him. Or that he made her feel things she'd pretty much given up on years ago when she'd run off to California.

  
“How's that so far?” He asked softly, almost in her ear, making her breakout in gooseflesh.

  
“Fantastic. Marry me please.” She managed to reply with some restraint. If he kept it up, she wasn't sure how far that restraint would hold. She was only human. Even Nat and Pepper had both admitted during the near regular weekly lunch they had with Maria to get away from all the testosterone that they found Steve attractive. Then they'd all laughed, imagining the reactions of Tony and Clint. Pepper had been in tears as the other three took turns doing their best impressions of the men being all indignant.

  
He chuckled. “I require at least 3 dates at nice restaurants before I go around marrying just anyone. What kind of boy do you think I am?”

  
She snickered. Two things that were timeless and Steve had in spades were humor and sarcasm. “A wonderful boy who I will buy an entire restaurant for, just as long as you keep going.”

  
“Yes, ma'am.” He said with an amused tone to his voice, his thumbs gently massaging the base of her skull.

 

**Natasha POV**

Natasha stood in the doorway and watched the pair, neither of them noticing she was there. She prided herself on knowing how to read people and she'd read these two and knew they would immediately gravitate toward each other. She didn't like to think of it as matchmaking. It was something that Peggy Carter had mentioned when Natasha had visited with the woman while Steve had been with Coulson's team after Bavaria. They could be very good for each other if they allowed themselves to see it. With very few exceptions, love really was for children, like she had been taught long ago. But in the last few years, she'd been shown there were many different kinds of love and they weren't really all that bad.

  
She thought of Clint, touching her arrow necklace. Thinking of how she would have fought Loki with her bare hands just to save him. Remembering how welcoming Holly had been when they first met, despite her reputation as the Black Widow. How Holly's father had been so kind when he had no reason to be, how he had thanked her for avenging his wife. The way she felt strangely protective of Rogers, going out of her way to tease him and force him to learn to interact with the new century he'd found himself in. The way he'd risked his life to save hers back in New Jersey, protecting her from the collapsing building with his own body.

  
Watching them now, she could see that eventually, she could take credit for what would blossom. Initially though, she just wanted to show Steve that there was someone else out there who knew some of the same people he had and also make him realize he wasn't alone in living in the past. Coulson's idea to bring Holly along on the mission to Bavaria and oddly, Stark's wholehearted agreement had begun to help her move from the past but it was Steve's encouragement to face her grief and loss that had completed the process. And Peggy Carter's passing had brought them very close emotionally and even physically. Natasha knew that the pair had slept together, fully dressed, more than once in the last couple weeks following Peggy's death. And even though they had no clue anyone else knew, she knew they'd gone together to talk with May's ex husband at an eatery in Brooklyn.

  
It was that closeness that led to the comfort level they now shared with each other, more demonstrative and physical. She'd never known Rogers to be affectionate like he now showed on occasion with Holly. She wondered if Steve would have given a woman a massage like this 70 years ago. Probably not.

  
“So just what have I walked in on? Should I put a sock on the door? Do not disturb sign?”

  
The venomous look on Holly's face and the embarrassed blush on Rogers' made her hope the Jarvis had been recording so she could show Clint. He would be so proud.  
“Just a simple massage, Natasha.” Rogers explained with a roll of the eyes that was a bit too forced. “Holly's shoulder was bothering her.”

  
“The left?” She asked the ebony haired woman who'd given Rogers a look of thanks before getting up to grab a towel. Natasha could tell it had been much more than that, not that she thought Rogers noticed. After all, she'd known Holly for years and he'd only known her a few months.

  
“Yeah. Testing out Tony's new tech, overdid it. How's your left? We have matching scars now.” Holly deflected the attention back, a challenging smirk on her face as she gestured to the newer of the two scars caused by the Winter Soldier.

  
“It's just fine, thanks.” She shrugged off the hoodie she'd been wearing. “Want to go a few rounds, see whose left gives in first?”

  
“Considering she's in pain now, that's not fair Natasha.” Steve spoke up.

  
“Life isn't fair and you won't always be in a fight completely uninjured. We all know that.”

  
“Sorry Steve, she has a point.” Holly said, turning her head to give him an apologetic look. “Nat wouldn't purposely try to hurt me anyway.”

 

**Steve POV**

To be honest, Steve was a little relieved by Natasha's interruption. Not that he didn't like helping Holly with her shoulder. The problem was, he liked it a little too much. Part of him wondered if it was still part of the grieving process. Was he focusing on Holly so much because he'd lost Peggy? Was that why he slept better with her there? Was it the reason that a simple hug from her made his day? Or that he thrilled in making her feel good with his hands?

  
He watched from a bench against the wall of the training room as the two women fought but his mind was far away as they grappled, leaped, flipped and kicked.

  
He was only brought out of his thoughts by the sound of rapidly approaching feet and looked up to see Barton nearly run straight past the door to the training room, grabbing the doorjam at the last second to stop himself before entering and plopping down next to Steve. The fighting pair hadn't noticed, Natasha had just flipped Holly off her back and had then been thrown herself by Holly's ability.

  
“Shit, Cap, you should have called me!”

  
Steve was confused. Called him for what? “Huh?”

  
“This!” He indicated the women fighting. “I live for their fights. Jarvis told us it was going on.”

  
It was then that a sheepish Banner entered the room and joined them on the bench. “Hi Steve.”

  
“I'm surprised to see you down here, Bruce.” The doctor avoided places of conflict out of habit, even if it was just in training.

  
“I needed a break and Barton snagged me. Tony's been in one of his moods and even with the Other Guy, I still need to sleep and eat from time to time.” He winced as Natasha kicked Holly right in the chest, causing her to fall back and roll away to regain her equilibrium.

  
“Speaking of that, I could use one.” To be honest, he hadn't even gotten the chance to workout like he had wanted to when he originally came down to the room but he was so distracted, he didn't think anything would come of it besides. “Want to get out of the Tower a while?”

  
“And what, miss this? You guys are nuts.” Barton shook his head. “Come on Holly! You are favoring your left!!” He called out. “Thatta girl!”

  
Bruce had a small smile on his lips as he rolled his eyes at Barton. “That sounds great Steve.”

* * *

 

Soon enough, the two Avengers were walking down the Manhattan street, headed toward Central Park, the sun setting behind them. Steve didn't want to draw any attention to Dr. Banner so he was wearing what Holly called his Incognito Uniform which consisted mostly of a Brooklyn Dodgers cap she'd gotten him a few weeks earlier and a pair of sunglasses.

  
He sighed. She was still in his head!

  
“So what's going on Steve? You seem distracted.”

  
He looked to the scientist who actually seemed rather relaxed. Few people would recognize him as himself. They only knew him as the Hulk. “I guess I am.”  
“Thinking about Peggy? I know it's been a few weeks. How are you holding up?”

  
Steve shrugged. “I'm okay. I mean, I miss her but I know she's at peace. She wouldn't want us to be spending all our time grieving. She lived a good life.”  
“That she did. And by us, you mean you and Holly?”

  
He forgot just how many geniuses lived in Avengers Tower. “Yeah. I guess so.”

  
They walked for a few minutes before Bruce spoke up again. “You and Holly seem to be closer now. Is that...the distraction? You don't have to talk about it if you don't want.”

  
Steve sighed and they crossed the street to enter the Park itself. He knew that if he hadn't wanted to talk, he wouldn't have invited the closest to impartial person in the Tower out for a walk. “It is. I think you're probably the only person I could really talk to about it. Stark would just threaten me, Natasha would make fun of me. Barton would probably threaten me too. Pepper would get excited...”

  
Bruce smiled. “I see. And what about how you feel?”

  
He threw his hands up in the air. “That's the thing, I don't know how I feel. Cripes, I don't know anything about this stuff. I didn't 70 years ago and I think it's worse now. I sound like a nutcase.”

  
A chuckle came from the unassuming scientist. “No, you sound human, Cap.” He shook his head. “Are you second guessing yourself because she's pretty much Peggy's daughter? That you are putting your feelings for Peggy onto her?”

  
Steve thought about it. “No, I don't think so. I mean, Peggy helped raise her and there are times Holly makes me think of Peggy but there are times Natasha and Maria make me think of Peggy too. I don't look at Holly and see Peggy, if that's what you mean. And I think I've spent more time with Holly than I ever got to with Peggy.”

  
“When did you start feeling something more than just friendship for her then? Don't tell me only in the last couple weeks. I might spend most of my time with Tony, but I'm not that out of the loop.”

  
Now it was Steve's turn to laugh a little. “Fair enough. I don't know. I don't think I've ever spent so much time with a woman before. I mean, you know, one on one. And she gets me. I can talk about the war with her or stuff before the war and she's not bored or confused. Hell, she knows some of the stories because of Dum Dum. And she's so patient with me, like you are.”

  
“If I could be half as patient as Holly, I probably wouldn't have had my accident.” Bruce said with a chuckle. “Can I ask if you've had any of your nightmares with Holly around?”

  
Steve's head dropped. Bruce knew about the nightmares he'd had since he woke up that day in the fake SHIELD room. They were irregular and not always the same, the exception being the one he'd had the night after Peggy died in his apartment. He still dreamed of Bucky falling although sometimes it was himself falling and the Winter Soldier watching him fall, the words “Who the hell is Bucky” ringing in his ears when he jolted awake. He dreamed of Schmitt coming back, of Dr. Erksine telling him what Colonel Philips had said more than once, that he was not enough. He dreamed of all the men who died under his command. Of failing them. Of failing Peggy. Of waking up and being the skinny 90lb asthmatic again.

  
“A couple times.” There'd been a night the week before when he'd been dreaming about the Commandos, of watching each of them die horrible deaths because he didn't stop Schmitt in time. Then he was shaken awake by Holly, who'd let herself into his apartment, her eyes filled with concern. _Steve! Steve! Wake up sweetheart! You're okay! The family is okay. Please wake up. It's okay. You're safe._ He hadn't even been able to speak when he finally broke the paralysis of the dream. He'd just sat straight up and wrapped himself around Holly, gasping for breath. She'd taken it in stride, holding him just as tightly and stroking his hair and back. _It's okay, Steve. I'm right here._

  
“And?”

  
“She helps. I mean, I don't have them as much when she's there.” He felt his cheeks warm at talking about sharing a bed with a woman with anyone, let alone Bruce. “We just....sleep. You know?”

  
Bruce nodded with a soft smile. “Yeah, I know. I did notice your DC apartment didn't have a guest room. No reason to be ashamed.”

  
“Did you know she asked Jarvis to wake her if I started having a nightmare? There was one last week and...she saved me from it. I didn't even ask her to do that, have Jarvis alert her.”

  
“Which one?”

  
“Schmitt winning. The Commandos dying.” He shuddered. “I usually can't sleep after that one. I go running. But she...she was there and I was able to sleep.” He paused and looked at the smaller man who would have been taller than him before the serum. “What does it mean?”

  
Bruce pushed his glasses up and they headed up a path that would take them back to the city street. It wasn't a good idea to take a man who could turn into the Hulk into Central Park at night, even with Captain America by his side. “That's really for you to say Steve. I can only tell you what I've seen.”

  
“Well?”

  
“I think you two fit. You've both been through a great deal in your lives, share important influences, namely Peggy and Dum Dum. I think I've seen you more relaxed with her than ever before. I'm still getting to know Holly but she cares about you a great deal. And it's not because Peggy told her to or because you used to command her uncle.”

  
Steve sighed. “I just...I don't know about this stuff. I don't want her to think that I'm only....interested because she's Peggy's little girl. Or because she's Dum Dum's niece. Or that she can fight or anything.”

  
“Steve, do you really think Holly of all people would think that? You know better.”

  
“Yeah. I don't know. I just....don't want to be the reason for anymore heartache in her life.”

  
Bruce clapped him on the back, the Tower within sight. “That right there tells me you won't be. I say, just let things go as they go. And you can always come talk to me if you want to.”

  
“Thanks Bruce. I appreciate it.”

 


	26. Chapter 26

**Steve POV**

“So we finally get to see Holly's new uniform and lightsaber in action?” Barton asked from behind Steve as they followed Banner and Stark into the observation room above what Stark called the Danger Room, an idea he borrowed from Professor Xavier's school for exceptional students. Apparently it was a training room where various obstacles and threats could be used and generated so they could work not only on their own skills but on their teamwork. It took up over two floors of space with another floor for all the machinery and technology involved. Stark was explaining how Jarvis controlled the room and could push them just this side of hurting themselves, much like the real world.

 

“Yes, that you do, Katniss.” He touched a button on the glass wall looking down into what looked like a nearly empty room where Holly was hopping on the balls of her feet, craning her neck and stretching. “Hey Skywalker, you ready?”

 

She grinned up at him. Her costume didn't look very much different. It was still a dark tan form fitting gee with matching boots, weapons strapped to her legs and no doubt hidden in the boots. She wore a dark brown robe with hood over that and twirled her new lightsaber in one hand. “Bring it, Iron Shorts.”

 

He rolled his eyes. “When you're ready.”

 

Steve watched intrigued as she lowered her head and took a visibly large breath. This apparently had been the big project she'd been helping Stark with. The last few days had had her locked up in the labs with Stark and Banner. What exactly they'd been working on, he had no idea. He was pretty sure it wasn't just slight wardrobe changes and a new lightsaber. “Jarvis, let's do this right.”

 

Loud guitar music started as Holly flipped on her lightsaber, it's blades now green instead of blue and took a defensive stance. Small round globes flew into the room and the room itself began to change, levels and drops being created as well as what looked like gun turrets coming out of the walls. “Don't worry, those turrets only shoot the equivalent of strong tasers.” Banner was quick to say before anyone could lodge a protest.

 

A voice yelled out in the song and then a rap began as Holly began to battle the small globes, each shooting what looked like small energy blasts. He wondered if they were like Widow Bites. Her saber seemed able to deflect them as she swung her saber around quickly, causing one globe to take out another before she sliced it in half and did a diving roll and then ran for cover from a gun turret that had just barely missed her.

 

_I can't stand it, I know you planned it_

_I'm gonna set this straight, this Watergate_

_I can't stand rocking when I'm in here_

_Cause your crystal ball ain't so crystal clear_

 

She moved like a dancer, like water, flowing and adapting to the room as it changed to challenge her. The floor and walls moved, portions rising, others creating falling hazards. She did a flying backflip that caused one of the globes pursuing her to be destroyed by one of the turrets before dropping down fluidly nearly flat and avoiding the blast of another. He could see similarities in her movements to Natasha's own style.

 

_So while you sit back and wonder why_

_I got this fucking thorn in my side_

_Oh my god, it's a mirage_

_I'm tellin' all y'all it's a sabotage_

 

He wondered if some of her acrobatic feats were thanks to the suit, only described as enhancing her abilities. He was pretty sure he would have difficulty pulling off some of what she was doing. Then she did something he strangely didn't expect, she reached out with one hand and made a fist, pulling it toward her and then back out. She was actively using her telekenesis, something she didn't do much. At the same time, one of the globes moved toward her, then back out, smashing into a new gun turret and disabling it. Then she made use of the wall to get up on top of a block and put out her hand like she was going to grab something and the wreckage of the first gun floated up and then forward, right into the combined blast of two guns, blocking it from her as she dove off the raised block into a somersault.

 

Hadn't she said that she wasn't an especially strong mutant but this seemed pretty strong to him. A look over to Barton and Natasha told him that they were surprised as well, Barton showing almost shock at how effortlessly she was using her abilities.

 

_So So so So listen up cuz you can't say nothin_

_You'll shut me down with a push of your button_

_But then I'm out and I'm gone_

_I'll tell you now, I keep it on and on_

 

She made use of the robe, whipping it off and twirling it around to knock another globe into the wall before tossing it to distract one gun before she threw her ignited saber at it, the robe serving as a clever distraction so the computer guided turret didn't see the threat of the saber until it was too late. Very impressive strategy.

 

_Cuz what you see you might not get_

_And you can bet, so don't you get souped yet_

_You're scheming on a thing that's a mirage_

_I'm trying to tell you now, it's sabotage_

 

_Whyyyyyyyyy_

_Our backs are now against the wall?_

 

He thought the demonstration was over, the gun turrets seemingly disabled or destroyed along with the globes, the last one with a roundhouse kick into the wall. Holly hadn't moved to recover her lightsaber, roughly 30 feet away and instead crouched in the center of the room, her fists placed on the ground along with one knee, her head down.

 

_Listen all y'all it's a sabotage_

_Listen all y'all it's a sabotage_

_Listen all y'all it's a sabotage_

_Listen all y'all it's a sabotage_

_(scream)_

 

The chant got louder and louder and Steve saw more globes and turrets coming up, the globes moving to surround Holly. It was thanks to the muttered question of “What the fuck?” from Barton that he noticed that her fists seemed to be crackling with some kind of white lightning or energy. Just as the singer screamed, she leaped to her feet, throwing out her hands to either side of her, literally releasing lightning that took out six globes, making the others fly for cover. That was decidedly new.

 

_I can't stand it, I know you planned it_

_I'm gonna set it straight, this Watergate_

_Lord I can't stand rockin' when I'm in this place_

_Because I feel disgrace because you're all in my face_

 

She ran from the combined blasts of the turrets, her hand reaching out into thin air and her saber seeming to fly to her hand like it was attached by a string. She reignited it midleap and made quick work of the new turrets and remaining globes in a similar manner to the first wave. Blocking the blast of one and redirecting the blast of another to take out the first.

 

_But make no mistakes and switch up my channel_

_I'm Buddy Rich when I fly off the handle_

_What could it be, it's a mirage_

_You're scheming on a thing, it's a sabotage_

 

With the final line of the song, she backflipped off the platform she'd been on and with an elaborate flourish, twirled her lightsaber before turning it off, returning to the defensive stance she'd begun in.

 

It was quiet for a long second before Barton let out a loud enthusiastic shout. “That was fucking AMAZING! Was that all the new suit? I can't even see the tech! I've never seen her use her abilities that much or that easily! And how did you do the Force Lightning? Holee shit!”

 

Natasha sighed and shook her head, rolling her eyes at her rather excited partner and boyfriend, if Steve was to define it. Bruce simply hid a laugh behind his hand while Stark had his usual self serving smirk on his face. Everyone clapped at the demonstration, Holly bowing to them with a smile.

 

“Sparky, come on up so Barton doesn't pee himself or something.” He called out.

 

A few minutes later, Holly appeared in the observation room, a towel around her neck and her robe over one arm. Barton was still feeling enthusiastic and dashed over, giving her a hug that lifted her off her feet, making her laugh. “I'm glad you liked it, Hawkeye. Geez.”

 

“I still don't get how it works.” He made a point of looking at the arms of her gee and her hands, turning them this way and that, no asking for permission or anything. Territory that came with having been partners for years. “Where's the tech?”

 

She put down the robe and towel and pushed up her sleeves. Then she put her fingertip to the area just behind her left ear. “Jarvis, illuminate Mr. Barton for me.”

 

She held her arms out and just under the surface of her skin, there was a light glow, not unlike Stark's chest reactor. Steve moved forward and reached out, running his fingertips over one arm. “I can't even feel it.”

 

“There's a reason for that Capsicle. It's a part of her now. It's literally grafted to her, under her skin, to her nerves. It has potential to do more than superhero stuff too. Bruce is working on a version that would help those with severe nerve damage. Potentially, down the road that is, it still needs a ton of research for that.”

 

“Is it just your arms? You were moving with such ease down there. More than usual. And Clint was right, you were showing more than Delta level mutant ability. At least from what I've seen you do before.” Natasha asked, taking a chance to touch her friend's arm.

 

“No, I have them all over practically.” She pulled down her gee a little so they could see that the skin below her neck glowing and then lifted up her pant leg to show the glowing there. “That's how I did the lightning. There's also a graft behind my left ear.” She turned and moved her hair, it being lit up. “This gives me access to Jarvis and like he helps Tony, he helps me control the grafts along with these contacts. As for my telekenesis, that's just me. I've been practicing.” She blinked and her eyes changed colors from blue to white to red and back again to show off the contacts. Steve wagered it helped her to see in different wavelengths and gave information much like Stark's suit readout did. “What do you think?”

 

“Looks to me like you are a real Jedi now.” Natasha said simply. “Well done.”

 

Steve was still hesitant. He'd been a science experiment himself and he knew none of it was an exact art. Banner of all people should know that. He was surprised the quiet scientist went along with this. Of course, he wouldn't do anything to hurt Holly, neither would Stark. But accidents happened. “How do you fix it if it's under her skin? What if she gets cut? Can it short out?”

 

“It's made of micro-minute flexible polymer, Cap.” Banner explained. “It would take a great deal to damage it but it's self repairing for the most part but it can be removed if need be.”

 

Holly nodded. “It's really neat because I don't even feel it. Getting them wasn't fun, it stung and itched, but now they don't bother me.”

 

“How is it powered?” Clint questioned.

 

“Remember the Matrix, Clint? How much energy they said the human body can create? I'm my own battery.”

 

“Will it affect your metabolism?” Steve questioned. If these grafts were powered by the innate energy of her body, he'd assume she'd have to bring in more fuel to deal with what additional energy was going to the grafts. Just how much energy could she generate? Would it be increased by activity or lessened? His mind filled with questions.

 

“That's a good question Cap.” Bruce praised genuinely. “It depends on just how much she uses them. They can store a great deal of energy, so that she doesn't run herself ragged with just one bit of lightening or whatever.”

 

“But if we have a big fight, I'll probably need to clear out the nearest Burger King.” Holly quipped. “Speaking of!”

 

“Road trip!” Clint announced with enthusiasm, finishing her sentence . “My treat too.”

 

“We really need to just get a Burger King established inside the Tower for us.” Tony muttered. “Jarvis, find out what it would take to get our own Burger King on site.”

 

“Yes sir, I will give it my immediate attention.” The AI answered wryly.

 

**Holly POV**

“Holly, what made you suddenly decide to use your ability more?”

 

She looked to Clint who was scrutinizing her with his eyes as he munched down on his third Whopper. Tony had had Jarvis call ahead and they'd bought out the restaurant for the night for privacy. All anyone from the outside saw was a dark store with a sign saying due to an electrical problem, they were closed for the evening. That was thanks to a bit of SHIELD tech that Delta had used many times, called a Blackout Fakeout. It turned glass opaque.

 

“What'd Peggy always say, Clint?”

 

“That if she was 60 years younger, I'd get the spanking I richly deserved?”

 

That made Steve roll his eyes and Tony laugh right outloud. Classic Peggy.

 

“Besides that. One must use all the gifts they are given, that's why we have them. She was always so supportive of me despite all the anti-mutant shit out there.”

 

“People are afraid of what they don't understand.” Bruce spoke up, actually eating a salad at Burger King. Tony had ranted about that until both she and Natasha had given him a look to shut him up. “Look at all the garbage that Professor Xavier has had to deal with over the years. You know.”

 

Holly turned to Steve who looked curious. “There've been violent protests up in Westchester. Delta Strike helped take care of more than one of them. Fucking bigots. Some of those kids don't given have abilities that could even hurt people, it just makes them look different.”

 

“I can kind of sympathize with looking different.” Steve said, sitting back in his chair. “When I was a kid, before Hitler and Schmitt, eugenics was a huge thing. I can't even tell you the number of teachers I had that used me as an example in class for what eugenics would prevent.”

 

Holly gasped and even though those teachers were long dead and simply ignorant, she still wanted to knock them into next week. How could anyone say something like that to a child? “That's awful!”

 

“And yet, people like Erik Lensherr, a near Omega level mutant, who survived Hitler's holocaust as a child, believe that eventually, homosuperior will supplant homosapiens.”

 

“Well then I'm fucked.” Clint said bluntly.

 

“Me too there, Legolas.”

 

Clint shook his head. “Nah. You're a supergenius and didn't that get you tested for a mutant gene as a kid?”

 

Tony sighed. “Yes. My father wanted to see if his son was a freak.” At Steve's shocked look, he added, “Howard didn't care that Holly's mom was a mutant. He was more worried about his own progeny. You know that whole, not in my family thing.”

 

Holly spoke up, her heart breaking for Tony and for Howard too. “And my father wanted to see if his oldest boy was a gifted child that Xavier could help.” She gave him a tender look because he knew that her father had always referred to him as his own.

 

He gave her a nod. “Yeah. Yeah he did. Eddie and I were tested together. Mostly because of your mom, there was more of a chance for Eddie.”

 

“Is it unusual for siblings of a mutant parent to not both be mutants?”

 

Bruce spoke up again. “Usually Cap. But you have to consider that there is still much they don't know how the mutant gene is passed. Or even where it began to show up. Some theorized it had to do with the use of the nuclear bombs in Japan, but that wouldn't explain Xavier, Lensherr or even Holly's mother.”

 

“Hols, didn't you tell me that there were Lakota legends that could be stories about actual mutants even centuries ago?” Clint spoke up after devouring what was left of Natasha's fries.

 

She nodded. “There are tons of stories in Native legend about shapeshifters, medicine men with amazing gifts and the like. I'll have to ask Thor if some of those legends are actually mischievous Asgardians. The biggest difference is that Natives revered these people, whether human or otherwise, believing the Great Spirit had blessed them and thereby blessed The People. That's how they viewed gay people too, they were blessed with being unique, not shunned, not shamed.”

 

“So your mom didn't have to hide her abilities?” Steve asked, curious.

 

“Not on the Rez she didn't. From what my dad told me, it wasn't until she moved on from

ARM and joined SHIELD that she had to learn not to use it on instinct.” She paused, balling up a wrapper. “Sometimes I wonder what it'd have been like to grow up not knowing there was part of me I had to hide from others.” She flinched and looked at Tony, remembering how he'd been so hurt when he found out the truth about her family when they had trusted him with her status as a mutant. “Sorry, Ony.”

 

He waved her off. “No apologies. I get it.”

 

“You were the first one to see me actually use my telekenesis.” She added, remembering that day so many years ago. “What were you building that day?”

 

Tony furrowed his brow in thought. “Christ, maybe a prototype for the first arc reactor?”

 

She nodded and turned to the others who didn't know the story. “Bruce probably has seen this but when Tony gets frustrated, he has a habit of throwing things. Wrenches usually.”

 

Bruce nodded.

 

“So here I am at 12 years old with this headache that was just about breaking my head in half. I took a taxi from Queens and decided to surprise Tony in the hopes that he could distract me from the headache. Or something.” She smacked Clint's hand as he moved to grab at her fries. “I walk into the playroom in this condo he had at the exact wrong time and there was this wrench coming right at my head.”

 

“I didn't aim for you! I didn't even know you were there or anything. I just threw it!” Tony defended after getting a couple looks from his teammates.

 

Holly laughed. “That's true. Anyways, I put up both my hands, thinking I could either smack it away or something and it just stops. Right there in midair about two feet from my face.” She illustrated the point with a plastic knife, having it hover in midair facing her. “Neither of us said anything until I stepped to the side and then it moved on to crash through the glass door.”

 

“And then you didn't have a headache anymore.” Bruce assumed. “Right?”

 

She shook her head and tapped her nose with one finger. “Well deduced, Dr. Banner.” She turned to Steve who looked confused. “Many mutants with mental abilities, whether it's telekenesis or telepathy or more suffer headaches until their first manifestation. After that it's just headaches from trying to learn control.”

 

“Remember Eddie's reaction?” Tony asked with a smirk.

 

“Oh he was just about....well Hulk green with envy.” She remembered his near whining about how it just wasn't fair that she had gifts and he didn't. It was funny and sad considering he'd been nearly 28 at the time. “Peggy was so excited. I showed her by instead of bringing her a cup of tea, I floated it to her from across the room. Nearly gave myself a nosebleed in the effort and spilled most of the tea, but she was so excited to see it.”

 

“You forgot proud, sventa.” Natasha added softly.

 

Holly nodded in agreement. “With Peggy, that was a thankful given.”

 


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place immediately after the Agents of SHIELD episode What They Become. So that gives you a hint as to what this chapter will be about. After this, I go off canon for that show.
> 
> Post chapter will have notes about the surprise guest.

**Holly POV**

Holly didn't like the look on Coulson, Bobbi and May's faces. She knew things had gone strange in Puerto Rico, their mission to stop Hydra from accessing an alien city hadn't gone to plan. She and Steve had been interrupted while sparring by Jarvis who said that the SHIELD director requested their presence in the assembly room. Normally Coulson's visits were planned, not sudden arrivals in the evening. They hadn't even heard from the group in a couple weeks. She hadn't even had a chance to show her old handler her new grafts.

 

Just how much had happened in that time?

 

She rushed over to her SHIELD friends, her eyes looking them over for injuries. Of the three, Coulson had bruises on his face and his knuckles looked cut, but other than that, she couldn't tell. Something was wrong. “Pops, what happened? Are you alright?”

 

He didn't answer for a second, his jaw clenching as he looked over her shoulder to where Steve was standing there looking confused. His eyes dropped to the floor. “It's...complicated, Holly.”

 

The sound of strain in his voice had her mildly panicking. Just how complicated could it be? She turned to see Natasha and Clint walking in, both immediately showing concern for their former handler. They saw it too. The three were giving off all kinds of tells that something was wrong but she couldn't decipher what it was. Where was the rest of their team?

 

“Why don't we all sit down?” Steve suggested, waving his hand to the couches.

 

Everyone sat down except for May and Coulson. Holly sat between Steve and Clint with Natasha on his other side. Bobbi sat next to Natasha and shook her head at the silent question of if she was alright. Physically, yes. Emotionally? The glassy look in Bobbi's eyes said an emphatic no.

 

**Steve POV**

“Director, what happened in Puerto Rico?” Natasha asked, as if it were just another mission debriefing. Steve had a feeling that she was preparing herself for news she didn't want to hear. Everyone's body language was tense, Coulson akin to a live wire, a look of abject guilt and sadness in his eyes. The bruising he could see told Steve that the director had gotten a terrific beating by someone very strong and probably very angry. What the hell happened?

 

Coulson then began to lay out a summary of what had happened, from discovering the city to Hydra showing up, Skye and her father, the plans to destroy any entry to the city, the death of Whitehall and Skye's attempt to stop the Raina woman from accessing the city secrets. Both Agent May and Bobbi spoke up a few times but Coulson did most of the talking. He was very formal and stiff. Sneaking a look at Holly, he saw her studying her former handler and had a feeling she knew they weren't going to be getting good news. Even he could read the body language. Absently he wished he could talk to Peggy, ask her if she remembered this Whitehall character. She'd be enraged to know the man had been released by Hydra agents within SHIELD.

 

“Skye is upstairs with Banner and Simmons so we can try to figure out what exactly happened to her in there. We don't know where Agent 33, Ward, Skye's father or Raina are at the moment.” He paused, the strain coming back to his voice full force. Here it comes, Steve thought.

 

“You said Trip had gone down into the city to stop the detonation so you could get Skye out.” Holly spoke up, wondering where her fellow Legacy was. “Is he okay? The city didn't affect him like it affected Agent Mack? Was it because of the serum?”

 

Coulson didn't answer for a second but his eyes and bearing did the talking for him. “He....Trip was locked in the room with Raina and Skye. When...” He paused again, his throat working. “When they broke free from the...effects...he...”

 

Holly looked to him with wide eyes, then to Natasha and then to Barton, who'd moved his hand to lock pinkies with her, a subtle attempt at reassurance. It was Coulson's difficulty in speaking, his struggle to keep his composure that was no doubt making her panic. Coulson had kept a straight face even when he faced Loki alone. Steve had seen the footage. He wondered if Holly was thinking of that September 12th morning when Coulson had been forced to tell her of the loss of her father and brother and the difficulty he had in doing it.

 

“Director, what happened?” Steve asked finally, a sad resolve to his voice. He had a feeling he knew the answer wasn't positive in regards to Agent Triplett. Damn. He was a good kid too. Reminded him a lot of Gabe. When they'd been heading back from Bavaria, Triplett had sat with him while he sat at Holly's bedside and they'd both told stories about Gabe. He was glad that his old friend had lived such a full life. If only that was the case for his grandson.

 

He looked at them all with such pain in his eyes. “I'm sorry...we...I lost him. They broke free of the effects and he..... He's gone.”

 

Holly gasped involuntarily besides him, her body jerking from shock, probably expecting just about anything but news of the death of her friend. Both Natasha and Barton stiffened, but had probably expected the worst. “Are....are you sure? I mean, we thought we lost you and Steve. Both of you survived what most people would have thought certain death. Maybe...”

 

“They broke free of the effects, Holly. He crumbled into dust.” May said softly, her normally no nonsense voice soft and respectful. Agent May might be a stern woman, but she cared about the agents she worked with. He'd seen that much when Peggy died. “There was nothing left. I'm sorry.”

 

Steve knew Holly was struggling with her own emotions as Coulson fought to keep his composure. He could see her struggling to control her breathing, to keep that grief and panic down. He put his hand over hers silently. He knew all too well about losing friends in battle and losing fellow soldiers. He knew she'd lost friends before as an agent and had seen some die right before her eyes. But this, this was somehow different. Trip had been a Legacy, growing up as the grandson of a legendary Commando, like she'd grown up the niece of one. It was hard to understand how he could just end up as dust in an ancient alien city without any kind of warning, any kind of way to prevent it.

 

“It's my fault. I was...overzealous in trying to stop Hydra, to stop Whitehall, to stop everything. He shouldn't...”

 

Holly gripped Steve's hand so tightly that her knuckles were white and it was obvious she was fighting the urge to go and comfort Coulson, who was fighting to keep his composure. Steve was thankful that he had the serum and Holly didn't have a full dose because the grip she had on him would probably have broken anyone else's hand. After a moment Coulson regained control, clearing his throat. “I...I should go upstairs to check on Skye. Excuse me.”

 

With that, he left, Bobbi and May close behind. There was nothing the two female agents could really say.

 

The four sat there in silence for a long time.

 

“Anyone else want to break something or someone?” Clint finally spoke, his voice a bit rough. His jaw was clenched. No doubt the archer had known Trip rather well since he'd been so close to the Baylors and Holly in particular. Plus, he was a SHIELD agent. It was never easy when you lost a soldier.

 

Holly replied in unison with Natasha. “Yes.”

 

“Why don't we all go up to Stark's Danger Room then?” Steve suggested. He could understand their anger. He'd been both heartbroken and enraged at what he had thought was Bucky's death and had taken it out on any Hydra lackey he'd gotten his hands on.

 

“I'd rather go out.” Holly said, her fellow Strike Team Delta partners in agreement. “Do something useful than destroy machines. If I could get my hands on that Raina bitch.” She cleared her throat and talked out to the room. “Jarvis, can you please begin scanning the police scanners for the five boroughs?”

 

“Yes, I'll route it to your floor, where I assume you will be making use of the arsenal there?”

 

Holly's jaw was tight as she stood with her friends. “Yes.” She looked to Steve. “You can come with us, but you can't bring your shield. It's too recognizable. We're not going to be doing this under the auspices of the Avengers or even SHIELD.”

 

“We're doing this for Trip.” Clint said, his eyes dark, his face set. Much like it had been just before the Battle of New York when the fight had been for Coulson. Delta was out for vengeance. “He'd do it for us.”

 

“I have a shield cover that is grey with no markings. I'd like to honor Gabe's grandson, if I can.”

 

“He'd really like that, Steve.” Natasha said softly. Of the three, she looked the most calm. Steve wondered if it was the way they had worked as a team. One of them was always in control and protected the other two depending on the circumstances. He wagered that given her tendency to not socialize except with a few select people, Natasha was the one who had the least amount of emotional pain to news of Triplett's death. Not that she would ever admit to any, of course.

 

**Holly POV**

Holly was proud of herself for being able to keep control until she made it into her apartment, telling Steve, Nat and Clint she'd meet them over at the other apartment before all but running for her door. She got the door open, closed it and then spoke to the room. “Jarvis, soundproof and lock the door please.”

 

“Of course, Holly.”

 

A beep told her it was done and she did what she wanted to do the moment that Coulson told them that Trip, that sweet Trip, her fellow Legacy was gone. Someone who'd been family to her, had grown up with her was dead. Because of Hydra. Again. She dropped to her knees with a sob before letting out a primal scream of pain, releasing her grief all at once while consciously working to control her telekenesis. Now was not the time to blow out the windows in her loft by accident. “Why? Why him? Fucking goddamn Hydra! Dammit Trip, why did you have to be so fucking noble!? You asshole!”

 

She sat there on the floor and just let it all out for a good few minutes of sobbing before making use of breathing exercises that May had taught her years ago when she had been training to be an agent. Her heart still ached, was still broken at the loss of Trip, but now she would be able to focus.

 

Focus on making as many people pay for that heartache as she could.

 

She stood up and did the breathing exercise again, stretching out her arms and rolling her neck. “Thank you Jarvis, you can lift the soundproofing and unlock the door.”

 

“May I ask if that helps?” Jarvis was always trying to learn more about human behavior especially with the different kinds of people he encountered since Tony had become Iron Man.

 

She walked toward the back wall of her apartment where there was a huge walk in closet for her clothing as well as tactical gear that wasn't kept in the Tower armory. She'd never believed in keeping everything in one spot. Especially living in a tower that was always a potential target. Pulling off the light sweater she had been wearing she shrugged. “It does a bit. It's the more primitive side of me reacting instinctively to the pain of losing what would have been considered a member of our tribe, our family. Maybe it's the Lakota half of me, I don't know.”

 

“I am very sorry about the loss of Agent Triplett. I have many videos and images of you growing up together if you would like to view them later. Will you be alright?”

 

She smiled up at one of the many cameras that allowed Jarvis to see all over the Tower. “Yes sweetheart, I'll be okay. Thank you for worrying.”

 

“It must difficult, so soon after the passing of Miss Carter.”

 

She nodded, sighing as she changed her regular blue jeans for her tight black cargos that were reinforced to prevent injury from knives while giving her ease of movement. “Yeah, it's been a rough month for the family, that's for sure.” It had barely been a month since Peggy had died. And now to lose Trip? She took a moment before continuing her preparation for the night ahead.

 

“Do you think it is wise to be going out looking for a brawl? Would it not be wiser to wait until you are feeling more objective?”

 

“Honey, you do realize who you are talking to right? I'm not as impulsive as Tony, but when I feel wronged, I'm able to focus intently. Think of this as when you and Tony flew to Golmerra after he learned about what Obie was doing with the weapons. It's very similar.”

 

“Wouldn't it make more sense then, to find a Hydra target and strike at it with all the Avengers rather than just Delta Strike and the Captain?”

 

“It's not as personal.” She pulled on a specially made thin cable knit sweater that looked ordinary but was actually Stark Industry kevlar. “Going out like this, with Nat and Clint, is more acting on behalf of Trip's SHIELD family and bringing Steve is for the Commando side. For Uncle Gabe.” She pulled on a light weight black hoodie over the kevlar.

 

“I believe I understand. You will exercise all possible caution, won't you?”

 

“Of course Jarvis. You are more than welcome to monitor via the contacts and my graft. I promise I can handle myself and we won't get into too much trouble. More than normal anyway.”

 

“It's your normal amount of trouble that causes the worry, Holly.”

 

She couldn't help the smile she gave the nearest camera. “Yeah I know. How are those scanner reports coming?”

 

“I have found several promising locations for you to begin your vengeance. What vehicles will you all be using this evening?”

 

She paused as she laced up her custom made light weight combat boots. “I'm not sure. I'm assuming we'll take out the bikes. Makes for an easier escape. I'll let you know.”

 

**Steve POV**

Steve looked up from where he'd been watching Natasha and Barton suit up, not in their uniforms but in specially made civilian clothing that had tactical light weight body armor. Barton had a full quiver of arrows, carefully choosing non-lethal but none the less effective arrowheads. Natasha surprisingly actually had rubber bullets but also fully loaded her Widow Bites and a few small knives.

 

Holly entered wearing all black, tight cargo style jeans and a loose hoodie, her hair tied back. He was struck by the lack of emotion on her face but one look at her eyes told him that there was a reason she'd insisted on getting ready alone at her apartment and now she was all business. SHIELD training helping her to push emotions aside. “I assumed you had zip ties but I grabbed some from my stash anyway.”

 

“That's what I was forgetting. Thanks Hols.” Barton said, reaching behind him and opening a drawer and taking out a handful of plastic lines, giving half to Natasha.

 

“What do you need those for?” Steve asked. It was rather strange how these kids all had enough weapons and gear to take down a few small nations in their personal quarters. Stark had an entire arsenal and armory but they had their own personal stock. Was that SHIELD influence or their own from their Delta days?

 

“To tie up whoever is dumb enough to get in our way tonight. We're going non-lethal but they aren't going to get away with just a beatdown.” Holly explained, handing him a few. “My father always said that if you are able to stop an everyday crime, you should. I always carry some of these, even when I was teaching.”

 

“No lightsaber tonight Hols, just the staff?” Barton asked, adjusting a knife in his boot. Steve noticed the archer tended to revert to the affectionate nickname when he was worried about Holly. Probably something he'd done for years.

 

“Yeah. Don't want to draw the wrong kind of attention. And a few extra goodies. We ready?”

 

“I think so. What are we doing for transport?” Natasha asked, pulling on her own black hoodie.

 

Holly shared a look with Barton before they both said, “Delta cycles.”

 

Steve had to think about it before he remembered the row of black motorcycles that were parked next to his own pair of Harleys down in the private garage. Holly had explained the day they had gone off into the city together that they had discovered that while the SHIELD SUVs and Hummers were nice, nothing made for a good get away as being able to split up on those bikes. Especially when they were specially modified by Stark.

 

“Would it be better if I used one as well?” He asked, curious.

 

“Probably, Cap. You have nice bikes, but these have a few extra tricks to them. We probably won't need them but they are nice to have just in case.” Clint explained.

 

* * *

 

Holly stopped on the rooftop suddenly, holding up her fisted hand silently to command everyone to stop. She cocked her head to one side and Steve was confused but alert. Barton was scanning around, his bow drawn. The archer's night vision was probably better than most cats. He stopped and made a low whistle, followed by another.

 

It was the soft sound of feet on the gravel roof behind him that made Steve whirl with his stealth shield locked on his arm, only to find air. The sound of a pained oof made him look to the raised wall where Holly was stalking over, her hand lowering while she flicked her other wrist, extending her staff. She'd used her telekenesis to push a man dressed in a strange dark red get up out of the way of his attack which probably could have given the man a bad concussion depending on if he saw it coming.

 

Then the getup made sense. They were right on the edge of Hell's Kitchen. This was the blind lawyer Holly had told him about. The guy who went around as Daredevil.

 

Steve suddenly felt guilty for nearly knocking a blind man, gifted or not, out with his shield.

 

“Holly?” The man asked, sounding supremely confused just before, out of nowhere, Holly backhanded him with her closed fist. Steve winced, as did Barton. Natasha, typically, just smirked with approval. “Yeah, I guess I deserve that.” The man said a few moments later, spitting blood out onto the gravel.

 

“Why the fuck are you following us, Matt?” Holly growled.

 

“Heard a few calls about a vigilante group using arrows and a shield getting closer to the Kitchen.” He stood up, wiping at his now split lip with the back of his hand. “What the hell are you doing is the question.” He raised his head and faced the general direction of the other three. “Barton. Natasha.” He paused. “Who are you?”

 

“Steve Rogers.” Steve said, taking a step forward. Was this guy a friend or not? Holly didn't seem too pleased to see him. And that meant Steve was on his guard.

 

“Matt Murdock. Nice to meet you, as it is.” He made a sound of being impressed. “You sound pretty spry for someone your age.”

 

“I like to think young.” Steve quipped.

 

“Holly, what's going on? I heard rumors you were back in New York but...” He paused, tilting his head. He slowly raised his hands and clapped them together once before matter of factly moving to touch Holly's side with his hand. “Love, what the hell happened to you?”

 

Before she moved to slap his hand away, Barton shot a concussive arrow, knocking the man back against the wall and away from Holly with a grunt. “Back off Murdock. Touch her again and I'll use a sonic arrow. You won't like that.”

 

Murdock chuckled. “Still ever the protective guard dog.” He held up his hands in capitulation. “Sorry bird boy. I'm more afraid of what Natasha could do to me than you. No change in heartbeat to warn me.” He turned his head back toward Holly. “What happened to your ribs? And you sound....different. There's some kind of energy netting inside of you? Did Stark do something to you?”

 

“How can you tell she's different?” Steve asked. “All you did was clap.”

 

“He's got something similar to sonar, Cap.” Natasha explained. “He uses his other senses to see, including soundwaves like a bat. I'm guessing adamantium sounds different than bone.”

 

“Adamantium?” Murdock furrowed his brows and took a half step forward. He spoke low but thanks to the serum, Steve could hear him. “Holly, I know....it's been a long time. I've been trying to figure out how to contact you about Peggy. I still...I still care about you. I know you don't want to believe that, but it's true. What's going on? Please.”

 

Steve watched Holly while Barton and Natasha stepped back, but still kept their eyes on the pair, Barton having already prepared another arrow. No doubt the sonic one he'd warned about. He wondered what kind of relationship Murdock and Holly had had. He was her lawyer but something told him it was much more than professional. And that wasn't even considering Murdock's slip of calling her a pet name. She didn't respond but the hand holding her staff loosened just a bit and the other hand released from being in a fist.

 

Murdock tilted his head again and took another step forward. Something about her must have told him it was safe to approach. Her heartbeat perhaps? “What happened tonight Holly?”

 

Her throat worked before she answered. “We lost Trip. Trip was killed in Puerto Rico during a mission with Coulson.”

 

Murdock pulled off his mask, revealing messy hair and scarring around eyes that looked in the completely wrong way. His brow was furrowed in concern. “Wait, Triplett? The other Legacy? Quick but walked like an elephant?”

 

Her head dropped and her hand clenched again around the staff.

 

The man was brave indeed and gently put his hand on her shoulder while keeping some distance. “Holly, I'm so sorry. He was a good man. I didn't know. I understand now. When you can, if you want, come by the office. Okay? Just to talk.” He gave her shoulder a squeeze and stepped back, pulling his mask back on. “Be careful tonight, all of you. I'll handle the Kitchen tonight, for Trip.”

 

And like that, he moved to the building ledge and jumped off, the sound of feet hitting the fire escape of the next building the only sound of his leaving.

* * *

 

They returned to the Tower late that night, having assisted NYPD numerous times, not that they knew. Steve had hung back for the most part, more concerned that in their rage and grief, the others would get themselves hurt or worse. Just the same, a few punks had gotten to know his fist and shield rather intimately. One thing that hadn't changed for him since before the ice, he still didn't like bullies.

 

It turned out to be the opposite and he was able to see just why they had been the uber-elite of SHIELD while still so young. They spoke without speaking, just glancing at each other. They knew each other's moves and always had each other's backs. He and Barton covered for Natasha and Holly as they got up and close with their targets. A few times it was a race to the next target over rooftops and down fire escapes. The only pause had been their brief encounter with Murdock.

 

At one point, Holly alone challenged a gang of 6 skinheads who were trying to shake down an elderly black man for his wallet. Steve had moved to assist but Barton put his arm out and shook his head. Steve had watched as Holly easily took out the hoodlums without making use of her grafts, mutant ability or a weapon. The men were all larger and had superior numbers but she had almost seemed bored as she took them down. Then, she and Natasha had rifled the pockets of the men, giving all their cash to the elderly gentleman before getting him a taxi he couldn't previously afford. He'd been a bit in shock but grateful, telling both of them to be very careful and thanking them numerous times. The other items, potentially evidence of previous crimes was dropped off with a note in the passenger seat of a nearby police cruiser, the gang members unconscious and hogtied besides the car.

 

Returning to the Tower, the three had silently returned to their floor and Steve had gone back to his apartment to shower and change. He couldn't help but feel concerned for the three, though he knew Barton and Natasha would comfort each other. He wondered if perhaps Holly would spend the evening with her friends or alone. He hoped that she wasn't alone, that Natasha and Barton had insisted she stay with them. He hoped they didn't see her rage as nothing to be concerned about. It had him concerned plenty. Losing Peggy was a matter of time, of age. This loss was unexpected and possibly preventable. There was someone to blame. Someone who was at fault.

 

“Jarvis?”

 

“Yes Captain Rogers?”

 

“Could you please tell me where Holly is?”

 

“Holly is currently in the medical wing with Director Coulson, Doctors Banner and Simmons and Agent Skye.”

 

That surprised him. “What is Agent Skye's status, Jarvis?”

 

“Dr. Banner is still running tests. Physically she is in peak health. I believe she is suffering emotionally from the loss of Agent Triplett.”

 

Steve sighed, running his hand through his hair. “Yeah, there's a lot of that in the tower tonight.” He decided the shower was a necessity and then he would go upstairs to see if there was anything he could do.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so obviously I mess with time a little bit in terms of Daredevil. In this universe, he's been doing this for a while. At least since the late 90s. In this universe, he's around the same age as Hawkeye, which for me puts him right around 40ish. I will be making references to the show, fair warning.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo....finally hit 3000 views....with more chapters than the other stories. Weird. Anyways...thanks for reading!

**Holly POV**

“Hey, I brought you some coffee. Hazelnut with four French Vanilla creamers.” Holly said softly, Coulson still sitting in the chair next to Skye's bed. She was only being monitored and tested but had to be sedated because of her acute emotional distress from the loss of Trip. That was one way of putting it. The poor girl completely blamed herself like Coulson was completely blaming himself for the young Legacy's death.

 

Part of Holly wanted to be angry with the young agent but she couldn't. To live her whole life not knowing who she was to find out that she'd been taken care of by a secret agency without her knowledge? That she wasn't entirely human? And from what May had told her from down the hall, Skye had wanted to stop Raina because she hadn't been able to kill her birth father after he beat the crap out of Coulson.

 

“Huh? Oh. Thanks.” He took the cup and indicated the chair next to his. He sounded and looked exhausted, physically and emotionally. His face was still colorful from being repeatedly punched but looked better. Even a little super soldier serum went a long way along with whatever that alien DNA they used to bring him back from the dead. “I hear you went out tonight.”

 

Holly's eyebrow rose. They hadn't even been back an hour. “How?”

 

“You just told me.”

 

“Dammit Coulson. I hated when you did that when I was 14.” She hung her head and sighed. “Yeah. Delta went out and kicked a little ass. For Trip.”

 

A pause. “He'd appreciate that. Just the three of you?”

 

“No, Steve tagged along. I think mostly to make sure we didn't get ourselves killed or arrested. Like a regular jail could hold us.” She smirked. “Remember Honduras?”

 

“Don't remind me about Honduras. I'm still filling out the paperwork for what you three did.” He sighed, taking a long sip of his coffee. “Did it help?”

 

She shrugged. “A little. I guess. Not really. Would have been better if I could get my hands on this Raina woman or that traitor Ward.” She turned her head and looked at the older man. “How are you dealing? Honestly?”

 

“Honest? I feel like shit.” He said bluntly.

 

Holly nodded. That was honest.

 

“I had a Legacy under my command and now he's gone. Just like that. He was just a kid.”

 

She shook her head. “Coulson, Trip would be kicking your ass right now, you know that right? He was a grown man even though we both remember him as that goofy kid in the baggy pants.” She swallowed, pushing back the pain of knowing that same kid was gone now. “But Trip made his choice. Don't take away the honor in his blind act of loyalty and sacrifice. He knew, just like any of us do, what could happen at any given moment.”

 

He sighed, his head dropping. It was something he'd told her and other agents when a fellow agent was lost. “I know. I know. I just feel like I failed.”

 

She put her hand on his back, resting it between his shoulderblades. She knew that amount of comfort was acceptable at the moment. “No, you didn't. You know you are going to lose agents. It's how it happens and why they die that matters. Remember what you told me when I was struggling so hard after the towers? We need to honor their sacrifice and make sure the world remembers who they were and why they died. So tell me Director, how are we going to honor Trip?”

 

Coulson's jaw clenched. This was the Coulson that no one messed with. This was the Coulson that her father had asked to take care of her if anything happened to himself or her brother. “By destroying Hydra for good. All of them. The whole damn thing.”

 

She nodded grimly. That was something she could more than get behind. She was sick and fucking tired of Hydra messing with her family. This was the last time. “I'm with you, sir. To the end.”

 

“I'm with you too. To the end of the line.”

 

They turned and saw Steve, his hair still damp from a shower standing in the doorway. He wore a t-shirt that read Brooklyn across it with a pair of jeans. He stepped in and held his hand out to Coulson, who took it confused.

 

“Director, between the new SHIELD and the Avengers, we're going to finish what was started in 1943. Agreed?”

 

A flicker of a smile and Coulson stood up, giving Steve's hand a firm shake.. “Sounds like a plan Captain.”

 

“Hate to interrupt, but there's another plan I was sent up here to complete.”

 

Turning, they saw Clint standing in the doorway, dressed in flannel pajamas and Star Wars tshirt. A far cry from his tactical gear as Hawkeye. It was something she was still trying to get Steve comfortable enough to do. “Sir, Jarvis will let us know if Agent Skye wakes up. You and Holly are staying with Nat and me tonight. No arguments.”

 

Holly couldn't help but give Coulson a shrug, the older man almost smiling. It was a long overdue Delta Night. They would have them after bad or difficult missions. The last one had been a long roadtrip back to California after they thought they lost the man who was grieving in front of her. “Do you want to be the one to argue with Natasha?”

 

“I'd sooner kiss a Chitari.” Coulson deadpanned.

 

“Sorry Cap, it's a Delta thing.” Clint was nice enough to apologize to Steve.

 

“Not a problem. Director, would you like me to stay with Agent Skye for a while?”

 

Coulson shook his head. “It's alright, but if you could check in on Fitz, Simmons and Mack in Stark's playroom, I'd appreciate it. Who knows what they'd manage to develop when they are feeling like....like this.”

 

“I'd be happy to, sir.” He said softly, with respect.

 

As Coulson went to join Clint, Holly touched Steve's arm. “Thanks Steve. I wish I could explain tonight, I just...it's the only way I know how to deal with this, right now.”

 

He covered her hand with his. “No explanations needed. Believe me, after the train, I did my share of bashing heads for Bucky. I'm sorry about Triplett. He was a good man, I'm glad I got to meet him.”

 

She nodded, her throat tightening, thinking about how nervous Trip had been, even snapping off a salute to Steve. “Meeting you was a huge thrill for him. Thank you, for coming with us tonight. He would have loved that.”

 

Steve nodded. “Go on. I know not to keep Natasha waiting. I'll see you in the morning.” He leaned in and brushed a kiss to the top of her head. She knew that she was more than welcome to go to him if she wanted. Steve would support her however she needed him to, he'd shown that back in Washington.

 

A silent nod and she stepped out of the room where Clint and Coulson were waiting for her. Clint nonchalantly squatting down and jabbing his thumb at his back. She couldn't help but smile a little as she hopped on his back, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as he wrapped his under her knees.

 

“I'd offer you sir, but you've gained some weight as director.”

 

Coulson rolled his eyes, flipping Clint off and leading the way to the elevators, May shaking her head and Bobbi actually managing a smile at the sight. “Shut up Tweety.”

* * *

 

Holly quietly left in the early morning, Clint, Natasha and Coulson dead asleep on the couch. It'd been a bit cathartic, to have a Delta Night to celebrate Trip and to just be there for each other. They ate food that should probably be outlawed in most countries, told stories and watched old videos. She knew Coulson was going to have a hard time dealing, not just because of Trip being a Legacy, but because there had been nothing he could have done to prevent it.

 

She remembered being in the Philly hotel room with Tony, just feeling hollow after pretty much losing it with the news that Coulson had been killed by Loki. She often wondered if she'd scared him with the grief she expressed. Then the door opened and there were Natasha and Clint. She didn't even remember crossing the room but she had and nearly knocked Clint over with the force of her hug. She hated Loki for what he had done to her friends, her family.

 

She remembered his voice soft in her ear, telling her he was okay. Natasha had saved him. He was okay. She'd pulled Natasha into the hug and the three just had a moment before Tony had awkwardly coughed.

 

After he left to go back to the Tower and work with Bruce on settling in and Pepper on remodeling, the three had decided that a roadtrip was in order. They needed to spend time together, for Coulson. And they had, even to the point of just sharing one hotel room rather than separate. During that trip was one of the two times she ever saw Clint cry. The other had been when Coulson and Nick had come to tell them about her father and brother. Even Natasha had been upset, she'd always had a soft spot for the straight laced handler. For all the fear she generated in others, she got nothing from respect from Coulson and that meant a ton to her.

 

Plus, everyone loved Coulson. She'd always teased that was his superpower. He argued it was his impeccable fashion sense.

 

As the elevator opened to the hospital wing, her heart ached that Trip's team didn't get the chance to know him like she knew him. Then again, her heart just ached. She could almost imagine Peggy gently reprimanding him for following her to the afterlife much too soon.

 

She walked down the hall and saw Jemma looking over Skye's chart from outside her room. The one way glass hid her from the now awake Skye's view as she watched her concerned. “Morning Jemma.” Holly said softly. “How's Skye?”

 

“Oh. Good morning Holly. She...she's fine. Physically, that is. Mentally, I don't know. I honestly don't.”

 

“How are you?”

 

Jemma sighed, putting down the chart. “As he would say, my heart hurts, I will confess. Trip was only part of our team for such a short time but he was a good man. He deserved so much more.” Her voice choked a little and she blinked a few times quickly.

 

That was the damned truth. She gave the scientist's arm a gentle squeeze. “Yeah, yeah he did. But he died the way he lived, trying to protect a friend.”

 

The young doctor pursed her lips and said nothing. It was always hard to lose a fellow agent. Trip was, had been, a special kind of guy. Silently, she sent her love to him, hoping that he was surrounded by the family, reunited with them all.

 

Holly knew that all of Coulson's team would need time to grieve. She turned her head to watch the young Agent stare out the window of her room. No doubt she was blaming herself for Trip's death. She would have to move beyond that before she could even grieve. She remembered being told that a few times during mandatory psych evaluations after missions that ended with a lost agent.“Can I go in there?”

 

“If you'd like, yes. She's perfectly healthy.”

 

“What did the room do to her? Or should I say, what did it release in her?”

 

“Seismic ability. There was a large earthquake when she....when she was released.”

 

Holly nodded. Interesting. The earthquake that had been reported on the news had actually been caused by the same young woman who'd pleaded to hear embarrassing stories about Coulson while they were enroute to Bavaria Something similar to her own telekinesis she would wager. “Okay. I'm just going to go in and chat with her. Maybe we could get her to eat something?”

 

“Oh yes. I'll go grab a few things I know she enjoys.”

 

“Thanks. And if you need to talk, don't you dare hesitate to come on by or call or anything. Got it, Agent?”

 

Jemma gave her a smile and a short salute. “Yes, sir.”

* * *

 

“Hey Skye.”

 

The young agent turned her head, her eyes red from crying, she looked almost startled to see Holly. The normally vibrant, sarcastic hacker wasn't there. The girl was still in shock from not just Trip's death but whatever happened to her in that chamber. “Oh. Holly. God, I'm sorry about Trip! I didn't know what was going to happen, I shouldn't have gone down there!”

 

Holly moved quickly and sat on the bed at the girl's hip and gently took her hand. “No no. Skye, stop. Stop. Listen to me, alright? What happened to Trip is not your fault.” If anything she was pretty sure that Skye getting upset right now would probably cause an unwelcome testing of just how seismically sound the Tower was.

 

“But...”

 

“No. Listen to me Agent.” Holly put a bit of authority to her voice. It was something she'd learned from watching her father as a child. “I've been doing this almost as long as you've been alive. Give me the benefit of a doubt. I knew Trip from the days back when he was just a goofy kid who was clumsy as hell. If he was determined to go down there, you wouldn't have stopped him.”

 

Skye let out a wet chuckle. “Is that really what Trip came from? Not his last name?”

 

Holly smiled. “Yep. He told everyone it was for Triplett, but it was because he could stumble over a sunbeam. Uncle Gabe, his grandfather, gave him the name when we were kids and it stuck.”

 

Skye picked at the blanket covering her. “I forgot that you knew him that long.”

 

“Oh yeah. I'm sure I have pictures somewhere of my dad and Dum Dum holding little baby Trip.” She smiled faintly. “Even Peggy.” And now, they were all together. “I'll have to go through my old pictures.”

 

“I can't help but feel like this is all my fault. Because of what I am. I don't even know what I am.”

 

“We'll figure it out. One step at a time. Jemma told me you seem to be able to cause earthquakes now?”

 

Skye nodded. “I guess so. I feel it, whatever it is, just under my skin, itching at me. I'm scared of it.”

 

“I understand. You've read my file right? You know I'm a mutant. I know a little something about suddenly being able to do something that no one else can. Just imagine that on top of the hormones of being a teenager and being trained by SHIELD. It's okay to be scared, but don't be scared of the ability, that's how you lose control. One of the first things I learned when I first started moving things around without trying. Besides that, you know that I've helped a lot of meta-humans and mutants with their abilities over the years. Some who had absolutely no control.”

 

Another nod. “Yeah.”

 

“I have some friends in Westchester. I'll talk to Coulson and I think maybe a trip up there might help you learn to use your new ability.”

 

“I don't want to even have it at all. I just want to be normal.” A sniffle. “If I was normal, none of this would have happened.”

 

Holly squeezed her hand. “Honey, all of us have felt that way in one way or another. I don't even know what normal is. I thought everyone's family had a panic room and safe words when they met somewhere. I didn't understand when I was little why my little friends in kindergarten couldn't do handsprings or read at a 4th grade level. I didn't understand why other people didn't have holographic games to play with. And then at 12, I was sparring with my brother and accidentally knocked him across the room without even being within 5 feet of him.”

 

Skye nodded. “For me, I thought everyone got new parents every year.”

 

“Normal is relative. You know what though? We are pretty lucky compared to a lot of people. We help protect the world. The entire world. We get to see and do some pretty amazing things and meet people we probably would have never met if it wasn't for this crazy life.”

 

“Boy is that true.”

 

“Do me a favor? At least go to Westchester with May and Coulson for the day. Meet with my friends up there. I promise you, they can help.”

 

“Am I a mutant now? Can you become a mutant like this?”

 

“I dunno honey. That's not really my area of expertise. Maybe something similar though. But you are still who you were before Puerto Rico, just with a little extra kick. Give it a chance. Alright?”

 

Skye nodded with a sigh. “Yeah. Might as well.”

 

“Just don't let Tony come up with your codename. I guarantee he will call you Shakes McGee at some point. Trust me.”

 

A small smile. “I'll remember that.”

* * *

 

Holly headed down to the common floor to head for her apartment to change into some workout clothes when Jarvis spoke. “Holly, sir would like to see you in The Playroom if possible.”

 

She sighed. “What did he do now?”

 

“Oddly enough, nothing requiring explosions or danger. I believe he's concerned about you. Director Coulson just left after telling him and Dr. Banner about the loss of Agent Triplett.”

 

It was strange but she almost hoped it had been for some kind of mission or something he needed her help with testing. She headed to a different elevator and Jarvis immediately sent it up to the correct floor. Getting off, she headed toward the Playroom, oddly quiet which was normally something that would have her ducking for possible cover. Quiet and Tony rarely went together.

 

She placed her hand on the security pad and punched in her code and the door opened. Inside, she saw Tony and Bruce standing in front of several holographic displays, all showing old pictures and video of Trip, herself and Tony along with her father and brother. “And this kid, he was a charmer. Me and kids don't mix but he was a piece of work. He'd always ask what I was building, what I could invent.”

 

“I don't think he was ever able to thank you enough after Aunt Bettie and Herman died in the car crash. You were the one person who could understand.” Holly said softly. It had been remarkable, how Tony at the age of 20, normally very brash and outlandish, going out of his way to try and help this poor kid who didn't understand why Mom and Dad weren't coming home and why he had to live with Grandpa.

 

“He was just a kid. A baby.” Tony said with a sigh, turning toward her. “You tried helping too. Do you remember?”

 

She shook her head. “I was 5. I just knew he didn't have a mom anymore, like me.”

 

Tony quickly swiped through pictures before blowing one up. There was tiny Trip, barely three sitting on the floor looking sad and her own tiny self with her arm around him. “Eddie took that.”

 

Holly felt a little choked up. That little boy was gone. And if she wanted to be morose, so was that little girl in many ways. She took a deep breath. “Damn, I don't even remember this but it makes me miss him more.”

 

Tony nodded and stepped over, reaching out with one arm and pulling her to his side, kissing the top of her head. “He was a good kid. How are you holding up? Coulson mentioned you took Spangles along with your Delta Vengeance Party last night. Did it help?”

 

She shrugged. “We helped a good number of people in Trip's name. He would have liked that. He would have wanted to do the same for me.”

 

“I'm sorry, Holly, about your friend's death.” Bruce said softly. “He was very nice, when we were in Bavaria. After I changed back, he brought me a blanket and something he called Commando Chocolate?”

 

That made Holly grin. “Hot cocoa with rum.” She shook her head. “The boys had to spice things up when they could during the war. It got passed down.”

 

“The good traditions always should be.”

 


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of Daredevil stuff....not going exactly by the show but using elements of it. Hope you like!

**Holly POV**

Holly sighed, looking up at the building that housed the law firm of Nelson and Murdock. She didn't want to be here. Why was she here? Because Matt had asked her to, had all but begged with his tone. And then he'd given a low blow asking her to come to the office where she knew Foggy Nelson would no doubt be. Matt's law partner was a wonderful, weird and funny man. He actually fought harder for her to stay in NY than Matt did, that was the sad thing.

 

Both Natasha and Clint had offered to go with her when she told them she was going to go. Actually, Clint had demanded that she not go alone but she knew this had to be just her. It'd been too long since everything ended with Matt for there to be a third party.

 

Taking a breath, she stepped in and headed up the stairs, knowing Matt no doubt already knew she was there from the sound of her heartbeat or something insane like that. Going down the hall she steeled herself before opening the door leading into the office. A blonde, sat at the desk, intently typing on the computer.

 

Holly recognized her as Karen Page. She'd initially been a client of the firm when she'd been accused of murder and was now their secretary or investigator or a bit of both from what research Natasha just happened to have handy as well as what Jarvis was able to find. She'd been instrumental in the recent incident with Frank Castle aka The Punisher.

 

“Oh hello! I'm sorry, I get lost in my own little world. Welcome to Nelson and Murdock. How can we help you today?”

 

“It's no problem. I'm here to see Matt. I mean, Mr. Murdock. He's an old....friend.” She stumbled over her words, not really knowing how to define Matt anymore. Matt had always been one of the very few people that could manage to throw her off balance.

 

“And what am I? Old pastrami?”

 

She turned to see that Foggy was standing in the doorway to her right, which seemed to be his personal office. He hadn't changed much since she'd known him. His hair was still longer than most lawyers wore and he had donut powder on his tie that was a loud purple. “I was thinking more of a pimento loaf.”

 

He barked out a laugh. “Holly Dugan, you Lakota minx. Come here!”

 

She smiled, feeling herself relax a little as she hugged the portly lawyer who still wore Preferred Stock. At least he wore less than he did when she'd last seen him. He'd drown himself in it much to Matt's chagrin. She was pretty sure he'd done that as a way to accidentally get back at his friend by taking advantage of his super sense of smell. “Hi Foggy. How are you? You look great.”

 

“I'm good now. As for looking great, I know, right? That pilates stuff is for the birds. You know what works? The jelly donuts down on Carson Street. Want one?”

 

She shook her head and laughed. “No I'm good, really.”

 

His eyes softened. “I know that's a bunch of crap. Matt....he told me about last night. About Trip. I'm sorry Holly. How are you holding up?”

 

She shrugged, the ache in her heart a constant in the last day. “It's a minute by minute thing. It's just...really too soon after Peggy. Too soon period.”

 

Foggy sighed and nonchalantly hugged her again in his overly friendly yet comforting way. “I totally get that. I'm sorry about Peggy too. She was a classy classy lady. How the hell she kept us as her lawyers, I assume I have you to thank?”

 

“Actually, you can thank yourself. After...you know, everything before, she thought about changing but she said that she liked you too much, even if Matt was and I quote, a bastard blind in more ways than one.”

 

The lawyer nodded as if she'd told him the earth went around the sun. “Tell me something I don't know. Believe me. I remind him often of how badly he fucked up with you. Then again, how many times did I tell you that you were too good for him?”

 

“Probably as many times as Clint told me?”

 

“No doubt.” He looked to Karen who for her credit was at least trying to act like she wasn't paying attention. “Karen, I'm sure you know who this is.”

 

“Holly Dugan.” Karen stood and held out her hand. “Foggy and Matt, they've told me stories. And well, you're online too since last year. I'm sorry about your recent losses.”

 

“Thank you Karen.” She shook the secretary's hand.

 

“Matt's not here, not yet. He was out late, last night.” Foggy explained. “I can call him, see if he's going to show up or not.” Apparently some things hadn't changed. Even when she was with him, Matt hadn't been the most reliable person since his main focus seemed to always be trying to protect Hell's Kitchen.

 

“It's okay. Is he still in the old loft?”

 

Foggy nodded, concern in his eyes. “Yeah, but you don't have to go there Holly. Seriously. He can meet you somewhere.”

 

She shook her head. She didn't want to go to his apartment either, just for the memories there. But at the same time, she had a feeling it would be better if she did. “It's okay. I can handle it. Just a place. Besides, I might have backhanded him pretty hard last night. And Clint hit him with a concussive arrow too. I doubt he's up for going to a bistro.”

 

“He's managed worse.” Foggy sighed. “But let me hog you a bit more. Feel like taking a walk? We can catch up. And I can get all the superhero gossip!”

 

She rolled her eyes. “I can manage that.”

* * *

 

“Can I get you anything? Water?”

 

Holly was rather shocked at how downright nervous Matt seemed to be since he invited her into the apartment she used to have a key for. A key that had been angrily thrown into the Pacific when she'd moved into her Californian home.

 

“I'm not going to hit you again Matt. Just sit down would you?”

 

He gave a sheepish half smile and a shrug. He had a rather impressive bruise and swollen jaw from where she'd backhanded him as well as a shoulder he seemed to be nursing no thanks to Clint's arrow. She'd have to tell him when she got back to Avengers' Tower. It'd make his day.

 

“Sorry. I just....I'm surprised you came. I mean, you know.”

 

“It's been nearly 15 years. I moved on.” She was curious as to if he registered that as a lie or not. She wasn't sure herself.

 

“I believe you. I'm...glad.” Matt took a seat on the couch opposite of her. She was curious at the slight tone of hurt in his voice. Did he really honestly think she would have been mooning after him for this long? Or was it just the confirmation of it? “I have to ask. What got you back in NY? It's been so long.”

 

“Wasn't my choice initially. Long story short, I was brought along on a mission to Bavaria. Got hurt pretty badly and Tony insisted I recover here.”

 

“Are you doing better? I can't sense any injury or weakness. It had to be bad to cause you to have to have ribs and your sterum replaced though.”

 

“I'm fine.” So he had been trying to use his abilities to suss her out. She wasn't surprised.

 

He sighed. “I know that isn't true. Not by a long shot.” His head dropped as he laced his fingers together and rested his elbows on his knees. “I don't even know where to start Holly. I really don't. It's been so long and seeing you again...”

 

“You can say that again.” She honestly had hoped she wouldn't run into the lawyer but had been so focused on making as many thugs pay as she could the night before she didn't pay attention to how close they were to Hell's Kitchen. At the same time, part of her had wondered if Matt would try to contact her first. “How long have you known I was back?”

 

“A couple weeks. There has been a few mentions in the paper.” He raised his head, his blind eyes looking just a few inches to her right but not seeing. Not seeing in a way anyone else did. “So you went into teaching? Oddly doesn't surprise me.”

 

“Yeah. Was a complete 180 from my old life. It was good. Quiet.”

 

“I'm sure you still found ways to make trouble.”

 

She sat back on the couch. Even all these years later, he still knew her. Knew at least that much. “Here and there. Last couple years have been more exciting with everything with Tony and Steve being found, the Asgardians, all that. I've kept up on what was happening here. Wasn't really surprised that you took on the Castle case.”

 

Matt shrugged, absently scratching at his beard stubble. That hadn't changed either. “I don't agree with his tactics but he deserved a fair trial. We tried anyway.”

 

“It's ironic, one of Coulson's kids, she's a meta-human now and I sent them up to see Xavier. It's too bad Castle isn't around. I think the Professor could've helped him too.”

 

“How? He's insane.”

 

Holly shook her head. For a blind man, Matt tended to see things very black and white. Maybe it was the Catholic boy deep down inside. “Not from everything I read and picked up on. After everything he went through, I'm surprised you'd see him that way. You aren't much different, Matt. Just one bad day and you could go down that road.”

 

He reacted sharply to that, inhaling sharply through his nose. “You....how could you even know that? It's been 15 damn years.”

 

She crossed her arms. “I told you I've been keeping up. And do you really think Stick hasn't been to California before?”

 

He stiffened at that. “You've...you've seen Stick?”

 

“Of course I have.” The old blind man had trained many people over the years, Matt being one thanks to his increased senses from his accident, a woman named Elecktra. Before them had been her mother after he'd been nearly killed by an agent of The Hand, an ancient order, near the Rez. He'd randomly showed up years later to teach her brother and then after her mutant gift manifested, he'd worked with her. He was frustrating and rude, but she had grown up with Tony Stark, she was able to give it right back. He liked that. “It's been a couple years. When I read reports of people seeing ninjas and that hospital that was attacked, I figured Stick wouldn't be far behind.” She paused. “I'm sorry about Elecktra.” She had done a number on Matt before Holly had met him and when she'd heard about the woman's passing, no doubt thanks to the actions of The Hand, she'd nearly called Matt. Nearly.

 

Matt nodded, swallowing before he replied. “Thank you.”

 

They sat in tense silence, something much bigger than an elephant in the room between them. The sudden end to their relationship, mostly due to Matt's obsession with protecting Hell's Kitchen and her inability to stay in the city where her family had died.

 

“I was....glad to see you were right about Captain America. He seems decent. How long have you known him?”

 

“A couple months.” She answered, remembering Matt patiently listening to her tell him how she was sure that he was alive somewhere thanks to the serum. He hadn't called her crazy but instead theorized in a world where mutants and metahumans existed, anything was possible. “Natasha sent him to sit in on one of my classes.”

 

He nodded. “It was good....that Natasha and Barton were with you, you know, last night.” He paused. “I am truly sorry about Trip.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“And Peggy too. When you want to, we can go over her will and everything. I'm sure you already know what it says.”

 

She sighed. “Everything goes to me.”

 

“That's right.” He winced, hand going to his jaw. “I should have remembered that Peggy taught you how to punch.”

 

“I'm surprised you didn't feel it coming. I'm sure I was giving off every tell there was.”

 

“You probably were but I was more in shock of seeing you right there like old times.” He swallowed. “I know how I see is hard to explain. Always has been. But damn, Holly.” He paused. “You are still as beautiful as the last time I saw you.”

 

She stood up quick and walked to the window. Ironic that a blind man would have an apartment with so much natural light. It was part of the reason she liked it here all those years ago. “Don't Matt. Don't. I may have moved on but it doesn't change what you did. You can't just....don't.”

 

“I'm sorry. I am, really. Letting you go, not fighting for you or just being the stubborn ass I've always been, it was the biggest mistake of my life Holly. What I did to you was wrong. I should have been there for you, especially then.”

 

Without turning around, she replied. “The city has always been your first love Matt. Any woman in your life is always going to be second. Even third. I didn't understand it then. Part of me still doesn't. But none of that matters anymore.” She turned and leaned against the wall between windows, the bite of the brickwork against her back welcome. “How did you guys make out after the Battle of NY?”

 

His mouth flattened into a thin line. He didn't like the change of subject. Tough. “We did okay. A few of those aliens made it this way. I'm not the only one fighting in the Kitchen anymore, it was alright.”

 

Holly nodded. “I saw footage. How much harder was it fighting aliens verses humans?”

 

“Much. They didn't have heartbeats. But they were loud and that helped.” He sighed and slumped against his couch. “So what did Stark do to you? That energy netting.”

 

“Just a few extra abilities. Make me more like a Jedi.” She extended her hand and it began to crackle with what Clint called Force Lightning. “I have access to Jarvis like Tony does now through the contacts in my eyes too.” She didn't want to tell him everything. He didn't deserve to know everything anymore.

 

“Oh. Wow, that's amazing.” He cleared his throat. “Umm, hello Jarvis?”

 

“Hello Mr. Murdock.” Jarvis spoke via her graft. “Holly, you do have a previous engagement with Director Coulson in one hour.”

 

“Thanks Jarvis.” On the way to the loft, Holly had asked the AI to jump in with the fake reminder if he found an opening to do so. She wasn't upset or uncomfortable but at the same time, she didn't want to spend too much time rehashing old memories. Especially the way she was feeling after losing Trip.

 

“Director Coulson? Was that after everything in Washington last year?”

 

“Yeah. He's been working on rebuilding SHIELD, fighting Hydra now that they've shown up again.”

 

“Well umm, I guess I should let you head back then. Traffic can be such a bitch this time of day.”

 

Holly smirked. “Do you really think I have to deal with traffic?”

 

Matt sighed. “Probably not. You can't fly now, can you?”

 

She shook her head. “No, but I have my ways of getting around the city easily.”

 

They both headed for the door, her mind betraying her with memories of all the other times she'd gone through that door, including the last time. She'd been in tears, pleading with Matt to come with her to California. She should have known he'd never go.

 

She went to open the door and Matt's hand stopped her against the door itself. “Holly, I'm really sorry. I can't even...I just...I hope this isn't the last time I see you. I'd like to try and be friend again. If we can.”

 

She paused, taking a calming breath. Could she do that after everything he'd put her through? “I need time, Matt. Let me think about it.”

 

“Okay.” He moved his hand and the door opened. “I can appreciate that. If there's...anything I can do or anything...” His voice trailed off, knowing how silly the gesture was since she lived with the Avengers and had access to pretty much anything she wanted from Tony.

 

“I'll let you know. Goodbye Matt.”

 

“See you later, Holly.” He amended, a sad resigned hope to his voice.

* * *

 

Holly walked into her apartment, emotionally drained from talking to Matt and seeing him again. She wasn't surprised at all to see Clint and Natasha camped out on her couch along with Coulson. “I swear to god, if you say anything close to the word intervention I'm throwing all three of you out the window.”

 

Coulson smirked. “You would too. No, no intervention. I just got back from Xavier's. Skye's going to stay with them for a little, to train. The Professor asked May to stay to help some of the students with her meditation techniques and to keep Skye comfortable. He said to tell you that you should come up soon yourself.”

 

She nodded. Now that she was back in NY, she really should have made a trip upstate already to the Institute. “I will. Skye's okay?”

 

“Yeah, in time she will be. The Professor will help her.” He sat forward on the couch. “So before Barton has an embolism, I hear you went to see Murdock? That was a bit of a shock.”

 

“We ran into him last night, he asked me to stop by. Just to talk.” She looked to Clint who was all but pouting with his arms crossed. “You almost broke his shoulder with your arrow Clint. He was nursing it in a major way. And I nearly broke his jaw.”

 

Her old friend's eyes lit up even though his expression didn't change. “Good. Asshole deserves worse.”

 

She wasn't alone when she rolled her eyes. “I got to see Foggy though. He said to say hi.”

 

That wasn't redirecting Clint at all. “So what did you guys talk about? Are you going to see him again?”

 

“It was a very awkward conversation about what both of us have been up to and what an asshole Matt was and how he realizes he made the worst mistake in his life.”

 

“About time.” All three said.

 

“Jesus Krispies. You guys are worse than Tony.” She threw her hands up before going into the kitchenette and getting a bottle of water. “It's fine. It's been 15 years and it's fine.”

 

Clint was quick to get off the couch and make his way over to her. “And I still remember how bad he hurt you, Hols. That's never going to be fine in my book.”

 

She sighed. “You really are my guard dog.” She used her ability to lift herself a couple inches so she could easily place a kiss between Clint's eyebrows. “Good boy.”

 

“Woof.”

 

“Okay, you two are going to make me vomit.” Natasha quipped. “I for one know you can easily handle Murdock. Do I get any credit for that?”

 

Holly laughed as her feet touched ground again. “Considering I have a feeling that you've already planned out a way to kick his ass and threaten him without me knowing about it? No, not really.”

 

“Shit.”

 

 


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes liberties a bit with how Trip died. I made it a bit more humane and sad than how it was in the show. Like I've said in previous notes....this is where I move away from Agents of SHIELD canon. No, I won't be doing anything with the Inhumans, or Skye's mother or any of that. That said, don't think I won't come back to our intrepid group of Agents!
> 
> By the way, Hydra hates comments! So comment away!

**Holly POV**

Holly sighed, giving the Koenigs' a weak smile as she accepted her new lanyard from Freddie as they entered the Playground. Yet again, prior to a funeral. “I really would like to come here for a happy reason. Like world peace.”

 

“Then we'd be out of work.” Clint quipped, taking his own lanyard and trying not to laugh as the Koenigs were rather obvious about their shared crush on Natasha who couldn't help herself but flirt a little. It brought a bit of levity to the situation. Even Bruce hid a smile behind his hand, as did Coulson.

 

“I don't think I'd have a problem with that.” Steve said, giving a friendly nod to George.

 

“You could finish your art degree if you wanted.” Holly suggested as they moved as a group to the main lounge area. No doubt set up the same way it had been mere weeks ago for when Peggy passed. The funeral for Trip had been put off so Skye's time with Xavier wouldn't be rushed. It was more of a memorial since there was little but a vial of ash to put at Arlington.

 

“If only.” Steve said with a soft supportive look, resting his hand on the small of her back. He had barely known Trip so this wasn't quite as hard on him as it was for her or especially for Coulson's team. Just the same, she wondered how much he was thinking about Uncle Gabe by proxy. Missing seeing him become a father and then grandfather.

 

They entered the lounge to find a full on wake was going on, food and drink abundant but not yet touched. Coulson's team was seated around the couches on the other side of the room and from the look on Jemma's face as well as Mack's, fond memories of their fallen friend had brought some emotion with it.

 

Holly shook her head. “Trip would be kicking all your asses right now. You know that right? What kind of Black Irish wake is this?”

 

There was a pause and then Jemma, of all people, snorted. “Oh bloody hell, I forgot about that.”

 

At the confused look on the rest of the faces around, except for Tony who knew the story and was grinning, Holly moved forward and took a seat next to Jemma and everyone else found their own places. “When we were kids, Trip and I were pretty much the only Legacies, since Howard could be a bit of a snob when he wanted.” She looked to Tony. “You are a Legacy, I don't care what your dad said.”

 

“Sure thing, Sparks.”

 

“Anyways, we kind of considered ourselves to be cousins in a way. All the Commandos were our uncles. To me, Trip's grandpa was always Uncle Gabe. For Trip, my dad was Uncle Liam, there was Uncle Dum Dum and you know he called Peggy, Aunt Peggy.” Her eyes flicked up to the ceiling and she felt Steve's large familiar hand briefly rest on her shoulder. “So one day, my dad and Dum Dum had taken us out for ice cream. I forget why, maybe it was just a nice day. I do remember that Trip had this bowl of ice cream bigger than his head and he was all but bouncing in his seat, he was so excited. And being well mannered little kids, we said 'Thank you Uncle Dum Dum' since he paid before my dad could.”

 

She smiled a little remembering what happened next. “There were these punks, just street trash in the parlor and they overheard. They took one look at the two of us and then Dad and Dum Dum and said something about how could a word I won't repeat call a white man uncle.”

 

“Without missing a beat, Dum Dum nodded to us. We were seated opposite each other on the outside of the booth. Before they could say anything else, both Trip and I moved and kicked those assholes as hard as we could in the crotch. Just like he taught us.” She smiled, remembering her father's murmured curse at his brother as he tapped her so he could slide out. “Dum Dum had actually brought his cane with him that day and he put it right in the crotch of the one who seemed more dominant and said, “Boy, don't you recognize Black Irish when you see one?”

 

Everyone broke up laughing and she turned to see Steve smiling and shaking his head with familiarity for Dum Dum's antics. “He never changed, did he?”

 

“No. Who do you think came up with Commandos mean family?” She swallowed a little, looking away and to the wall where Coulson's team had put up various pictures of Trip in memoriam. “Both Dum Dum and Peggy were very protective of the few Legacies there were.” And now, few was becoming one.

 

Tony, who'd taken the seat next to her, pulled her into an impromptu hug that she gladly gave into.

* * *

 

“I thought I might find you in here.”

 

Holly looked up to see May standing in the doorway of what had been Trip's room at the Playground. With the fall of SHIELD, it just wasn't safe to have a place outside of a secured area. Not with Hydra around. Then again, it just wasn't safe out there at all, was it? “Hi May.”

 

The elder agent, actually dressed somewhat casually given the hour in a pair of yoga pants and SHIELD t-shirt, came in and joined her on the floor. “Couldn't sleep?”

 

She shook her head. She should have known May would remember how insomnia would plague her when something like this happened. “No. The last few days have been difficult to sleep.”

 

“Yeah. They have.” May always took it hard when a fellow agent fell, especially the younger ones. She'd been a supervisory agent for many in SHIELD and though she could be tough as nails, she did it because she cared. She wanted them to be ready for anything and everything that could be out there. Of course, you couldn't be prepared for everything. They both knew that from experience.

 

“How were the kids at Xavier's? Anyone interesting?”

 

“A few.”

 

“How do you think Skye is? You know her better than I do.” Part of her knew that if things had happened differently, Trip would have gone along up to the Institute with Skye so there was another familiar face while she learned to control her new abilities. Another part of her hoped that while he hadn't been there physically, part of him was still there in spirit. Trip had been stubborn, he'd have found a way.

 

May took in a breath. “She's got a way to go. She still blames herself for what happened when it wasn't...” She paused, giving herself a moment before speaking again. “Xavier, he....he allowed me to be able to see her memory of what happened. In the chamber.”

 

Holly felt her heart stop and she closed her eyes. If the Professor had made the same offer to her, she wasn't sure she'd be able to do it. “Please...please, he didn't suffer, did he?”

 

May's hand, used so often for violence, was gentle as it rested on her knee. “No. I don't believe so. It was too fast. He wasn't in pain. Just concerned for Skye and confused at what was happening. It was just a few seconds.”

 

She let out a breath, angrily wiping away the tear that had dared to escape. “He was always too noble for his own good.”

 

“He was a Legacy, it was in his blood.”

 

Holly nodded, looking around the room that had nearly made her cry when she hesitantly entered it, the smell of the cologne that Trip wore because it reminded him of Uncle Gabe was evident and it looked just like his room back at the Sandbox in Manhattan. On the wall, he had a similar collection of pictures like she did back at the Tower and one picture made her smile. Instead of getting up, she reached out mentally and brought it over to rest in her hands.

 

“Hard to believe either of you were that tiny once.” May said softly. The picture was one of the two of them going out for Halloween, dressed as their heroes. Trip was, of course, his Grandpa where as Holly was a cross between Peggy and Dum Dum, wearing the infamous bowler with a tiny 1940s woman's uniform. Behind them, going as their escort, was her brother dressed as Captain America. Dum Dum sat to one side with a big grin showing behind his outrageous snow white mustache.

 

A nod was all she was capable of as her fingers trembled, tracing the faces in the picture. “I can't believe I'm the only one left.”

 

“No you aren't.”

 

Both women looked up to see Steve standing in the doorway, his blue eyes concerned but adamant. He walked in, those eyes flicking around the room, no doubt getting a better sense of his old friend's grandson. He looked down at the picture in Holly's hands and smiled a little. “Your brother looked good in the uniform.”

 

“He would have loved to hear you say that.” Holly said softly.

 

“That I would agree with.” May said.

 

“Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't realize that anyone...”

 

They all turned to see Skye in the doorway wearing leggings with an oversized tshirt, no doubt having the same trouble trying to sleep. “Come on in Skye. It's okay.” Holly waved to the young agent, patting the floor as Steve took a seat on the end of the bed, quietly looking around. “It's good to see you.”

 

She nodded, her eyes troubled. “I couldn't sleep. You know and umm, I don't know...”

 

“You wanted to be closer to Trip somehow.” Holly finished as Skye sat down. “Me too. See this? Look at what a ladykiller he was even then.”

 

She gently took the frame and looked at it, her eyes soft. “I bet he knew it too.”

 

Holly nodded. “You better believe it. I remember Uncle Gabe telling Dum Dum to stop feeding Trip all those cheesy pick up lines, he was only a boy!”

 

Steve jumped in. “A boy has got to learn! I need to pass on my vast knowledge for the good of mankind!”

 

She was surprised, she was pretty sure she'd never told Steve that story.

 

He grinned. “Who do you think was one of Dum Dum's early students?”

* * *

 

**Steve POV12 vb**

The next morning, Steve took a chance to look around Gabe's grandson's room alone. After a while, Holly had been able to head back to the guest quarters and he'd stayed up a bit talking to Agent Skye about Trip and what had happened. He should say he listened more than anything, the young woman apparently needing to express how she was feeling with someone who would just hear her out.

 

She asked him questions about Gabe, about the war and losing men in the battles. Thanks to Zola's weapons, many families had nothing to bury. The men had no chance to prepare. A blink and they were gone. He told her how those men, just like Trip, knew the risks. It was for men like them, the ones that gave it all that were the reason he personally kept fighting. Why Director Coulson, Holly, May and the rest continued to fight even after horrible personal losses.

 

“In the end, what you're fighting for is each other.” He told her. “You knew Trip better than I had the chance to. Something tells me you know that wherever he is, you know he has no regrets about why what happened, happened.”

 

Skye's head dropped and she sniffled a little before raising her head, her eyes filled with tears but a smile on her face. “And...and he would do it again. He wouldn't....it takes away from what he did...to blame myself.”

 

“That's right, Skye.” Steve said softly, gently resting his hand on her shoulder. “That was something that took me a very long time to come to grips with when I thought I lost Bucky. And with Peggy, instead of mourning the time we lost, I celebrate what she did for so many years in my name.”

 

Skye wiped at her face and gave him a nod. “Professor Xavier, he said that Trip would want me to use....what that room brought out. Use it against Hydra. Turn it around on them.”

 

Steve nodded. “I agree. That's what the SSR did with me, with Project Rebirth. Dr. Erksine was forced to develop the serum for the Nazis, for Schmitt. When he defected, he worked to improve it so it could be used by the Allies against the Nazis, against Schmitt. And that's exactly what happened.”

 

“That's what I want to do. For Trip.” She paused. “Thank you, Captain.” Then she moved to grab at something under the bed. “I think Trip would want you to have this.” She pulled out an old yellow suitcase and set it on the bed. “Thanks again.”

 

And with that, she left.

 

Now hours later, Steve unlatched the suitcase  and opened it again. Inside he saw items of such familiarity that it made his heart ache and his mouth grin. It was the strange gadgets that Gabe and Stark created during the war along with a few based on ideas of the rest of the Commandos as well. If these gadgets could talk, the stories they would tell.

 

“Skye beat me to it I hear.” Director Coulson said with a soft look in his eye as he entered the room. “Hi Cap. Trip always said he wanted to show you the gadgets his grandfather saved after the war but with Peggy and everything...” He trailed off. “We always think there's going to be more time, don't we?”

 

Steve nodded. “Yes sir, that's very true.” He knew time had gone all too quickly before he was watching his mother waste away from TB or watching Bucky fall away from the train or watching that ice speed closer as Peggy talked about their date. You always think there's more time.

 

Until there isn't.

 


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter. Please please comment....this fic isn't getting much traffic or comments compared to my other work and I'm wondering if I should keep posting or not. Ironically, I have more planned out for this than the other two.
> 
> Also....with the release of Civil War, I want to reemphasize that in terms of canon, I do NOT recognize Age of Ultron or Civil War although I do take elements from both as well as not following the X-men films but taking elements from them.

**Bruce POV**

Bruce felt a bit helpless at the whole situation, not quite sure what to do. In the main Assembly area, most of the group was seated with Holly in the center, he chose to stay in the doorway. Everyone was watching the news except for her. Her head was in her hands, her elbows on her knees. The day before had been a simple trip out to Queens for lunch for Holly with Steve and Clint. A much needed way to relax after returning from Washington and the services for Triplett. What it ended up being was the rescue of a pregnant mutant and her boyfriend who'd been chased into Forest Park by a gang of bigots from the Friends of Humanity.

 

And the outing of Holly as a mutant.

 

On the screen, a small group of commentators debated the situation, the title card at the bottom reading “Mutants: Danger or In Danger?”

 

“All I'm saying Cynthia, is that this right here proves that we need a national database. A way to genetically test everyone in the country to find out what their mutant status is. The girl they rescued was obviously a mutant but somehow Holly Dugan was able to keep her own status a secret. A woman who had been teaching young people as a college professor. She's obviously dangerous, we saw that in the video!”

 

The video had been shot by an onlooker who hadn't done anything to help the situation but had probably made a few bucks from selling it to the media. It showed the whole incident from the gang surrounding the pregnant woman and her boyfriend who was knocked brutally unconscious trying to defend her to the eventual display of Holly's ability. Steve's temper was shown as well when it was revealed that more than one of the bigots had tattoos of his shield overlaid with the symbol for Friends of Humanity.

 

The night before, Clint had explained what had led to Holly openly using her ability. The group hadn't been dissuaded by the fact that Captain America himself was disgusted by what they believed or even that they were committing a hate crime. It was when they pulled guns out that Holly really had no choice but to act. Steve hadn't had his shield or even his suit that was made with Stark Industries kevlar. Clint had had a staff, much like Holly, but that wouldn't have taken care of all the guns and more than one was leveled at Steve as well as at the pregnant woman.

 

The video was shown again on the screen, showing Clint throwing his staff and hitting one of the men in the throat before throwing himself over the woman to protect her. Holly threw her staff to Steve and then stepped forward and held out her hand and pulled back, yanking the guns out of the hands of the group. Underneath, there were subtitles since the sound wasn't very good.

 

“You think you are the peak of humanity? True men for attacking a pregnant woman and an unarmed man and then pulling guns on the people trying to help them? You want to go after the mutant menace? You want to take on a mutant?” Even without hearing her voice, the anger in her face spoke volumes. She held out her hand and the guns collected above her hand, just floating there before she made a fist and they all crumpled into a mass of metal. “Try me on for size.”

 

Clint had been more than exuberant about that particular moment, acting it out and everything. He said more than once he'd never seen Holly use her telekinesis to do anything of that magnitude. It wasn't the equivalent of crushing a tank, but taking out at least 10 guns at once was very impressive. Bruce theorized it had much to do with endorphins and her own overwhelming anger at the situation.

 

“Bill, they were threatening a pregnant woman! She wasn't a threat! You've seen the interview with her. Anna, is her name. She has no powers. She only looks different.” The woman referred to as Cynthia said with a wave of her hands, a picture of Anna appearing on the screen. She was a beautiful woman with black eyes roughly three times the size of normal human eyes with two sets of eyelids and lilac colored skin. “Holly Dugan did what she had to do to protect the helpless. She was an agent of the former secret agency known as SHIELD. That's what they did and if you believe rumors, what they still do. Watch that video, she hurt herself doing it!”

 

The woman was right. Holly had had an intense migraine for her efforts, a minor nose bleed evident in the video. An impressive show of her mutant ability that was just a bit beyond her normal capabilities. The equivalent of a pulled muscle or torn tendon for an athlete.

 

“I'm not an advocate for mutants, but even I can see that there's a reason that Miss Dugan, who also goes by the name of Lady Skywalker, hasn't publicly announced her status as a mutant. Everyday we hear about another hate crime just because of genetics. These people don't ask for this and I don't think they should be forced to potentially open themselves to harm by registering or being genetically tested against their will.” Another commentator spoke up.

 

“Mark, do I need to bring up people like Magneto who tried to kill President Nixon? The mutant known as Nightcrawler who attacked President Kinsey? That boy in Wisconsin who ended up destroying half his town in a temper tantrum?”

 

“And do I need to mention mutants like President John F. Kennedy? Warren Worthington III? Dr. Hank McCoy? What about Charles Xavier who helps to teach young mutants how to control their abilities?” The woman, Cynthia, spoke up again.

 

“And for each one of them, there's another who could potentially be another Magneto with uncontrollable powers. Registration is the only solution until we can find a way to stop mutations. I'd even be for forced sterilization to prevent the spread of mutant genetics.”

 

The TV snapped off with an uncharacteristic curse from Pepper. “What an asshole!”

 

“I second that.” Tony said with a clenched jaw. “Jarvis, what's the situation outside?”

 

“Same as before, sir. A large group of anti-mutant demonstrators.” The screen lit up again to show the group blocking the street level entrances to Avengers Tower. There were signs calling for the Avengers to declare their genetics, to remove the “Mutie Filth” and even one that read “God hates Mutie Indian Slags”

 

“The Other Guy wants to go down and clear them out.” Bruce spoke up, stepping into the room. “I'm not entirely against the idea.”

 

Holly looked up then, her eyes still pained and troubled. She'd managed to keep her abilities a closely guarded secret for so long and all it took was one incident to change everything. “Thank you. Both of you. But it doesn't matter. What's done is done.”

 

Bruce was confused until Pepper spoke up. “Holly was fired from the University out in California this morning. They cited that even though she's been doing hololectures she remains an uncalculated risk to the student body. They are going to be returning the grant Tony sent them after everything with the Hydra cell too.”

 

“I was so stupid. We could have figured a different way out of that.” Holly sighed, slumping against the couch with the heels of her hands against her eyes. “But I had to lose my fucking temper and dammit. Now you guys are affected.”

 

“You weren't the only one who lost their temper yesterday, Holly.” Steve spoke up from an armchair. “They are choosing not to show me throwing those....those...assholes around.”

 

After Holly had crushed the guns, the mob of men had moved to attack her, yelling epithets and promises to kill her and all mutants. Between herself and Steve with Clint acting in defense of Anna and her boyfriend, the mob had been taken down. Bruce couldn't remember a time in the short time he'd known Steve that he'd seen the man that angry. It was obvious that he'd been barely able to hold back his full strength though that hadn't kept him from throwing one of the bigger men into the others.

 

Everyone was rather surprised by Steve's cursing, the soldier the least likely to actually curse of all of them. Even Bruce could be considered to curse like a sailor compared to Steve.

 

“So what happens now?” She asked. “Should I head back to California? There's nothing for me there now.” It was noticeable how bothered she was by the University's actions. Of course being a professor had been her life for nearly 10 years or more. To have that taken away because of her mutant status had to be painful. Bruce could sympathize, his accident that led to the creation of the Hulk destroyed any real chance he had of a normal quiet life as a researcher.

 

“You are going nowhere!” Pepper declared, standing up. “I'm getting the Stark legal team on this. We're suing the hell out of the University for firing you on prejudical grounds. When I'm done with them, it'll be the Potts University for Exceptional Students!”

 

Tony laughed, a proud grin on his face for his girlfriend. “Pep, don't get too fired up. You'll set the carpet on fire. Again.”

 

“I'm serious, Tony! I'm sick to death of people being so close-minded about mutants! Holly, you shouldn't have ever had to hide your abilities! What makes what you can do any different than how strong Steve is or how smart Tony and Bruce are? UGH!”

 

Bruce couldn't help but smile, a warm feeling in his heart for the strawberry blonde who was pacing in $500 heels. Pepper had always accepted him and didn't think any different of him just because of the Other Guy. She was one of the most gentle people he'd ever met until someone messed with someone she cared about.

 

Holly stood up and hugged Pepper. “Thank you Pepper. That means a lot.”

 

“I know that Anna and her boyfriend aren't going to want for anything at least.” Tony spoke up. “I've already arranged a trust fund for them and the baby.”

 

Holly turned and looked at Tony. “You did? That's amazing. Where are they now anyway?” After everything at the park ended and they returned to the Tower, Bruce had forced Holly to take pain medication that would make her sleep so her mind could rest from the strain of using her ability to such a maximum level. One of the bonuses of her grafts was making it that much easier to monitor her vitals. That'd been one of Tony's additions, especially after Bavaria.

 

“Nat and I took them up to Xavier's. Anna doesn't have any powers, the news got that right, but just the same, she's safer up there. So's the baby. Hank said they are both doing fine and Adam, her boyfriend, he's going to be good too.” Clint spoke up. “You did good Hols. Fuck the university if they can't see that.”

 

“Alot of people can't see that.” She said with a sigh.

 


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that for the sake of this story, I don't recognize the birth year they give for Natasha in Captain America, Winter Soldier. In this universe, she's just a touch over a year older than Holly. Roughly May 1979. For reasons.
> 
> Please comment, they make my day!

**Holly POV**

“I can't even remember how long it's been since I've seen you make fry bread.” Natasha said from her seat on the kitchen counter in the main living area. Normally Holly would have cooked up in her loft but considering the appetites of the people in the tower, the larger set up in the shared area made it easier.

 

She smirked at the redhead who was happily eating her second piece. “Well if you had visited more often, you would have.”

 

“That's crap, Hols. You only make fry bread when you are upset.” Clint said, seated at the counter, an empty plate in front of him. “And don't argue, you know I'm right.”

 

She rolled her eyes as she put a fresh piece of dough in the fry pan. “Can you blame me? It's almost been a week and there are still protestors outside and the media is still talking about my mutant status and if I'm a threat or not!” It made her sick, not the attention but the reactions from people. A few of her former students had publicly said that they wouldn't have taken her classes if they had known she was a mutant and the University wasn't backing down from Pepper's threat via Stark Industries Legal Division of a lawsuit.

 

“Oh hey everyone.” Steve greeted, tossing down the messenger bag he used when he went out into the city to draw. “What are you making Holly?”

 

She turned and gave him a smile. “Hey Steve. I'm making Lakota fry bread. It's a traditional food. My mother taught it to Peggy and Peggy taught it to me when I was a kid. Here, try a piece, this one is fresh.” She gestured to the plate that was by her side with the newest piece and it floated over to where Steve was. There was no point in not using her ability anymore now that she didn't have to think about hiding it.

 

“Cap, put confectionary sugar on it. It's awesome.” Clint said, sitting up a little. “I call dibs on the next piece!”

 

“You've already eaten three!” Natasha said with a barely restrained laugh.

 

“So?”

 

“Oh! This is good!” Steve said after taking a bite of his, walking over to the kitchen area and peering into the pan. “Peggy would make this?”

 

Holly nodded. “Yeah. She said it was a way for her to remember my mother and connect me to my Lakota half. I usually make a bunch when I do make it. And Tony will have a fit if I don't make a bunch for him especially.”

 

“She makes it when she's upset, when something is bothering her.” Clint just had to add. “She started cooking after she saw the little bit on CNN about you flipping out on that reporter.”

 

She sighed, absently smacking Clint upside the head without even moving. “Clint!”

 

Steve's shoulders slumped. “Hell. I'd hoped maybe that wouldn't get any attention.”

 

“Are you kidding, Steve?” Natasha asked, wiping off her fingers with a napkin. “I thought you were going to strangle that idiot. It was fantastic.”

 

In the news piece, Steve had just been walking in Brooklyn where he often went to draw when the reporter came up to him, repeatedly asking him questions but using the slur “Mutie” instead of Mutant. It was after the question of if he felt safe having a mutie in Avengers Tower that Steve had lost his temper and without raising his voice, verbally ripped the man in half. Holly had been touched by the passion in Steve's tirade about how ignorant it was to use a slur like that, how he had no problem whether someone was mutant, gay, black or atheist. What he cared about, he had said, was who they were on the inside.

 

“The best thing was 'I would trust Holly Dugan with my life every day of the week and twice on Sundays, mutant or not. You, I wouldn't trust with the dirt on the bottom of my shoe, mutant or not.” Natasha continued, an amused brightness in her eyes.

 

“It's the truth.” Steve said almost softly. “That jerk was lucky I didn't knock him into next week.”

 

Holly smiled, having been intensely touched by Steve's public admission about his trust in her. “Thank you, sweetie. It was one of the best things anyone has ever said about me.” She leaned up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I'm just sorry they are bugging you now, that's all."

 

“Hey! I compliment your ass all the time!” Clint said indignantly, just to be silly.

 

Before she could say anything in response, Tony burst into the room like he tended to do in every room he entered and interrupted like no one else was there and she'd been waiting fr him. Pepper and Bruce were close on his heels. She'd had Jarvis let the three know about her making frybread so it had just been a matter of time until they arrived.

 

“So Sparky, you aren't doing anything a week from tonight right? Totally free? Bored even? Fantastic. Glad that worked out.”

 

Holly's head whipped toward Tony, immediately sensing that he'd done something that she wasn't going to like and he still thought, after all these years that just because his rapid fire speaking baffled some that it was going to get past her. Billionaire please.

 

“Anthony Leonardo Stark, what the hell did you do?”

 

Pepper snorted at her using Tony's full name and Holly mentally grinned at the flinch from her pseudo brother, her tone of voice getting to him. She and Natasha had fun messing with his head that way. She nodded to Clint who came over to take over cooking and put her hands on her hips to complete the look.

 

“Geez. You act like I've done something bad! I'm one of the good guys, remember? I bought you your first bike! And I bought your house in California! And I helped save New York, remember? Good guy, that's me.” He patted his reactor and tried to look confident but she knew that he was thinking about all the things he knew she could do without a weapon.

 

Holly knew he was really up to something and racked her brain for what it possibly could be. “First off, you bought me 7 bikes, one for each day of the week and I didn't ask you to buy me the house in California which you don't seem keen on letting me go back to.”

 

“Why go back? New York at the holidays is so much better.”

 

Immediately that set off her radar. New York holidays. A week from today.

 

Oh no.

 

“Tony, why would you need me to not be busy on the day they are lighting the tree at Rockafeller Center?”

 

“Well,” He drew out the word. “Actually, I've kind of volunteered to organize the whole thing this year. Kind of a good will gesture after everything with the battle of New York and all.” He paused. “No, actually I just remember how Liam and Eddie always took you to go see it when you were little and I thought I'd reinstate the tradition.”

 

“What tradition?” Steve asked, leaning against the counter and eyeing the almost done piece of fry bread that Clint had just given one last turn to.

 

“When I was little, my dad and brother would take me to see them light up the tree at Rockafeller Center. Apparently, dear Anthony has taken over the ceremony and something tells me it's going to be a bit more than just a tree lighting.”

 

“Oh geez, Tony, what did you do?” Bruce made a face, absently waving his hand. “She's using his full name, it's that bad?” He asked Pepper who was still fighting not to laugh.

 

“Why does everyone assume it's something bad?”

 

For that, he got a room full of blank stares before Jarvis pitched in. “I believe it is because they know you too well, sir.”

 

“Oh shut it Jarvis.” Tony grumbled.

 

“So?” Holly crossed her arms.

 

“It's not going to be crazy like the Expo, but I will be flying in with the suit, people love the suit and then we're going to have a few performers including you, Sparky and then boom, lit tree, ice skating, happy holidays to all.”

 

“Excuse me? You are giving me a week notice to sing in front of half of NY without even asking me first?”

 

“It was a time crunch. I figured you wouldn't mind.” The lighting had been delayed after a reported “threat” from Frank Castle of turning the gathering into a bloodbath that turned out to be a very poorly thought out prank.

 

Holly sighed, slumping on one of the kitchen stools and putting her head in her hand. “Tony!”

 

“Come on Sparks! You could do that Christmas song you actually like! The Mariah Carey one. I even have an idea for the outfit!”

 

She raised her head. “And I don't think anyone is going to care what I wear when there's a damn anti-mutant riot and the tree gets knocked down or worse! I'm the last person that should be doing anything public let alone something that's a New York tradition!”

 

“Actually, it's probably be the perfect thing. Show the bigots that what they say doesn't matter. It really shouldn't, you know?” Bruce said softly having moved into the kitchen where with a sigh, Clint dished out the finished piece of frybread onto a plate and handed it to the scientist. He grabbed another lump of prepared dough and threw it into the pan in a practiced manner. Holly had taught Clint when they were partners how to make the dish before he had brought Natasha in and then both of them had taught her.

 

“Shh! I'm trying to get out of this!”

 

“I think you should do it. Tony shouldn't have set things up without asking, but I've heard you sing. I think you'll have more fun than you think. And maybe it would just show a different side of you.”

 

Holly groaned. “Pepper! You are supposed to be more indignant than me!”

 

**Steve POV**

Steve sat in the VIP box, dressed warmly even though the box was heated. Even 2 years later, he was still a bit sensitive about being cold. He'd watched Stark fly in, the Iron Man suit looking strange with a Santa hat on the helmet. He'd stepped out of the disassembling suit, dressed in a tuxedo, not a surprise, to a roaring crowd. He was amazed at the signs declaring both love and anger not just for Stark but for himself and the rest of the Avengers. It had taken time for Manhattan to recover from the Chitari as well as deal with knowing that aliens existed. Plus it was New York. Even in the 1940s people would find a reason to be angry. Somethings would never change. Special effort had been made for security as well as to keep anti-mutant protestors away from the celebration.

 

Stark spoke for a few minutes, gave away giftcards and those iPod things to everyone in the audience and then began the introduction for the first performer, namely Holly.

 

“Alright New York, the first performer is one of your own, born right here in Woodhaven, Queens.” The crowd screamed. “She's fought for SHIELD, she's our newest Avenger AND she's like my sister from another mister. Ladies and Gentleman, Holly Dugan!”

 

Steve stiffened. They had discussed as a group about officially adding Holly to the team, her skills and knowledge, not to mention a near lifetime of experience being a great addition. To Steve, she'd been a member of the team ever since Bavaria, just not in title. They hadn't officially decided nor had they said anything to her. He looked to his left where everyone else was sitting and it looked like they were all surprised too.

 

He turned his attention back to the stage where Holly was stepping out and his jaw nearly dropped to the ground. She was a sight to behold, in a very flattering low cut red sequined dress with a gold half sweater thing that didn't seem to do much other than put her in Iron Man colors. Had he ever seen her wear something quite so clinging to her curves? The finishing touch being a huge diamond or mini-Arc Reactor dangling from a delicate chain low on her neck. From the way she'd looked at the direction Tony went in told him that if it wasn't for the audience and that she wasn't dressed for it, he'd be getting his ass handed to him, holiday season be damned.

 

The music started low and he noted she was wearing a near invisible headset rather than hold a microphone. Chimes played a little melody before the music started and she began singing very quietly, almost like a confession.

 

_I don't want a lot for Christmas_

_There is just one thing I need_

_I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas Tree_

_I just want you for my own_

_More than you could ever know._

 

She looked up to the audience with a slight smile, her voice getting stronger.

 

_Make my wish come true_

_All I want for Christmas is you_

 

The music kicked in then along with the rhythmic jingling of bells and the back of the stage pulled away to reveal an entire chorus and band.

 

She sang the same lyrics again and he was amazed at how she seemed at home on stage and wished he hadn't been frozen in the North Atlantic and able to see her perform at Julliard. She sang to the audience, inviting them with her smile to sing with her as she playfully rocked to the song, the dress accentuating every curve.

 

_I won't ask for much this Christmas_

_I won't even wish for snow_

_I just wanna keep on waiting underneath the mistletoe_

_I won't make a list and send it to the North Pole for St Nick_

_I won't even stay awake to hear those magic reindeer click_

_Cause I just want you here tonight_

_Holding on to me so tight_

_What more can I do_

_Baby all I want for Christmas is you_

 

He looked at his teammates, nearly everyone in attendance, Thor still away on Asgard. He couldn't help but smile at seeing how relaxed Bruce was, the scientist clapping along with Pepper to the song, both smiling. Maybe the Hulk was soothed by music? Even Natasha had a smile on her face as Barton had his arm around her and swayed her to the music. It was good to see his teammates happy.

 

Looking back up to the stage, he grinned at Holly as she sang directly to the VIP box and he could see how much she'd missed performing like this. For the first time in weeks, he saw real joy in her entire being. Her eyes were just lit up like he hadn't seen in too long. As the song faded to a bit of music, she gave credit to her chorus. “Ladies and Gentlemen, the Firefighter Choir of Queens!”

 

The crowd went crazy, as they were meant to and she did a ladylike curtesy, a brilliant smile on her lips as she thanked them, Stark returning to the stage. He wrapped his arm around her, an equal smile on his face. Steve wondered if he was patting himself on the back for getting Holly back on the public stage, let alone in NY for the first time in over a decade. Sure, she'd performed here and there for more private fundraising functions back at her University, but this was much bigger and televised. Nevermind the fact that she'd just been announced as an Avenger.

 

She stepped off the stage with a wave, Stark teasing and talking to the crowd before introducing the next performance, someone named Beyonce. Steve was sure she was a great performer, but his attention was immediately drawn to the commotion at the door leading to the VIP box, where Holly had just stepped in. Everyone clapped for her, Pepper getting up and hugging her, gushing about her performance. Then, much to the surprise of everyone, Banner got up and gave her a gentle hug, kissing her cheek. He wasn't normally very demonstrative. Or demonstrative period.

 

“You have a beautiful voice. The Other Guy is practically giddy. Maybe I should have a playlist of you singing to keep him calm?”

 

Holly chuckled and beamed at the scientist who had just paid a very big compliment. Few entertainers could ever boast that the Hulk was a fan. “Songs to Sooth the Hulk Inside?”

 

“Sounds like an album title to me, Hot Lips!” Barton laughed, pulling her backwards and hugging her tightly, his arms wrapped around her waist as he nonchalantly rested his chin on her shoulder. “It's really good to see you on stage again. Eddie would have loved seeing you up there. You know that right?”

 

She nodded, turning her head giving him a smile. “Daddy too. And Peggy.”

 

After Barton released her with a loud kiss to the cheek, Natasha moved forward and gave her a kiss on each cheek, congratulating her in Russian, a bright smile that few saw on her lips.

 

Steve stepped up next, not able to fight the proud smile on his face. “Now I feel privileged, I finally got to see you sing on stage, not just in rehearsal.”

 

Her cheeks flushed, a small smile on her face. “What'd you think?”

 

“I think I would be lining up to get your record and finding out when you were going to perform next. Think I could get my copy of the playbill autographed?”

 

She let out a laugh, shaking her head. “You are too much, Steve! But thank you!”

 

“Seriously Holly, you were amazing.” The others were talking among themselves and he softly added “And beyond beautiful besides. Aren't you cold?”

 

She nodded quickly, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth. “There were heaters directed at the stage, but I still felt like I was out in the middle of nowhere in my underwear!”

 

He chuckled, shrugging off his jacket and draping it over her shoulders, rubbing her arms. “Better?”

 

A reward of a smile was given and then a mischievous wink before she whirled on her high heel. “Oh and if you think I forgot that you just made me a friggin' Avenger on stage without telling me ahead of time and thought you'd get away with it Tony, you got another thing coming!”

 

“Aww shit!” Tony cursed, ducking behind Pepper playfully, using his girlfriend as a human shield. “It wasn't me, it was Thor's idea! That's how they do it on Asgard!”

 

“Your ass better be on guard!” Holly threatened with no real weight to her words with the light in her eyes. “Seriously though, were you kidding?”

 

“No, Holly. Though we wanted to talk to you first, we have been talking about it among ourselves.” Steve spoke up, as team leader, leveling Stark with a look for taking the initiative without any warning. “It's your decision, but we all agree that you would be a welcome member to the team. You have the experience, the ability, the intelligence and the compassion that would only make us a more cohesive unit.”

 

Pepper smacked Tony as he giggled under his breath about the word unit, though Bruce and Clint were also hiding childish smirks. Natasha just rolled her eyes.

 

“Come on Skywalker. It'll be like old times, except we're old now.” Barton goaded with a grin, wiggling his eyebrows. “Think of how much fun it'll be.”

 

“Old? Talk for yourself, Clint! I'm the youngest one here, technically. Sort of.”

 

“Well I'm tired of being the only woman. You know Pepper won't join. Come on.” Natasha said, no hint of a plead in her voice as she crossed her arms.

 

“Well if it's for the sake of my sister in womanhood, then yes.”

 

“Oh man, Coulson is going to shit.” Clint laughed. “Delta Strike in the same group as Captain America?”

 

Nat smirked. “Are you kidding? He's been all but campaigning for it. Come on, Fury started the Initiative with Delta as the core.”

 

Holly grinned. “So shouldn't we be in charge then?”

 

Steve rolled his eyes.

 

 


	33. Chapter 33

**Holly POV**

“Greetings and a happy Yule to you all. Are you prepared for the journey to Asgard?” Thor said with a grin, standing in the center of the field they'd agreed to meet him at so as to not terrify New Yorkers with the lightshow that was Asgardian transport. He was dressed in his traditional armor, though his arms were bare and his hair tied back. “Your gifts have already made the journey and await us, along with the Ladies, Jane and Darcy.”

 

“Merry Christmas, Thor. Now are you sure it's not offensive for us to go armed?” Steve asked, dressed in his best Captain America uniform, his shield freshly buffed. It wasn't every day he traveled to a different planet, he wanted to make a good impression, as they all did. The particular uniform he wore didn't have the helmet, since he didn't think it'd be very polite to hide his face from Thor's people.

 

“It would be expected. Father has been told much about you all and is very eager to see Midgard's Avengers.” He turned to Holly. “Lady Skywalker, it does me well to see you mended. I have told Father much of your skills.” She hadn't seen Thor since everything in Bavaria, the Asgardian having to deal with issues at home as well as the other realms. To make it up to his teammates, he invited them to celebrate the holidays on Asgard .

 

Holly felt a little perplexed. First she was traveling to another planet and then Thor, who had been considered a god by ancient Vikings and was actually an alien, told his father, who was known as the AllFather and was friggin' Odin about her? “I..I hope you didn't boast too much, Thor Odinson.”

 

The blonde grinned and gave her a hug, being a very tactile person. She was thankful that thanks to his girlfriend Jane being human, he knew how to hold back his full strength. She hugged him back, the blonde's enthusiasm contagious.“That I cannot promise!” He paused for a moment and softly spoke to her ear. “I am sorry to learn of the loss of your adopted mother and brave warrior Triplett. I'm sure they were welcomed heartly in Valhalla.”

 

She smiled a little and gave the man a kiss on the cheek for the sweet assurance. “Thank you Thor. That means a lot.”

 

He nodded and gave her a smile before moving on to his next person to greet, namely Coulson who also got a hug that nearly lifted him out of his expensive Italian loafers.

 

“And Phil, Son of Coul! The Allfather is most eager to meet you and hear the epic tale of your victory over death!”

 

“I'm not much of a storyteller, but I'll try. Thank you for the invitation, Thor.” Coulson had been hesitant to go after everything in Puerto Rico, but the whole team insisted. The rest of his SHIELD team were on a well deserved vacation, by orders of the Director. Holly had a feeling that he needed a break from everything especially after losing Trip. Over the last few weeks May had told her how concerned she was about both Coulson and Skye, but at least Skye would talk about how she was feeling. Coulson was notorious for keeping things bottled up.

 

“How safe is this way of travel?” A very nervous Bruce chewed on his thumb, no doubt nervous about Hulking out if it was too stressful. He was dressed semi-formally, that is, he was wearing a sports jacket. “I would rather not have The Other Guy show up. Might be considered rude.”

 

“Do not fear, Banner. It is near instantaneous and methinks you will be most distracted by the sights of the stars and planets as we travel.” He turned to where Pepper was near shaking with nerves and took her hands with his. “Lady Pepper, I beg of you to trust me. I would not endanger one as fair as yourself.”

 

“Hey hey Point Break. Enough with the sweet talk.” Tony said with a roll of his eyes and a smirk. “Just hold on to me Pep. It'll be fine.” He looked over to Holly. “You alright Sparks?”

 

“You can hold on to me Holly, if you want.” Steve said from his spot next to her.

 

Holly turned, not caring for the two men thinking she needed taking care of. “I'm perfectly capable of handling interstellar travel, you know.” Though to be honest, she was a little hesitant. It was an alien way of traveling, was it truly safe for humans?

 

Steve grinned in the way he knew would only make her give in. “Yeah, but I've never done it. Maybe I want you to keep me safe. I am, after all, a senior citizen.”

 

She rolled her eyes as Clint snorted in quiet laughter, Natasha smirking in amusement. “You are a bullshit artist, Captain and are no longer around Clint or Tony without supervision.”

 

That earned her a barely managed pout, the supersoldier struggling not to laugh.

* * *

 

Holly clung to Steve, not entirely sure that her brain had caught up to the rest of her. That was a hell of a way to travel. Was she really on another planet? She looked up at Steve who was looking around the gold room they had ended up in with the others. Pepper and Tony were checking on Bruce while Clint was literally shaking off the effects like he'd been dropped in ice water much to Natasha and Coulson's amusement. She wondered if traveling that way was different for someone who was mostly deaf.

 

“Greetings, Migardians. I am Heimdall. Welcome to Asgard.”

 

“Hello, Heimdall. Thank you for such a safe journey. Umm, Happy Yule?” Steve took the lead and spoke for the group.

 

The large armored black man gave the faintest of smiles, his eyes a strange and intriguing combination of colors. “And to you, Captain. It pleased me when your fellow Midgardians discovered your place of slumber.”

 

Steve startled and Holly gave his arm a squeeze. Place of slumber was putting being frozen in the North Atlantic for nearly 70 years. “You....you saw that from here?”

 

“If I have it right, Heimdall sees everything that happens in the nine realms, right?” Bruce asked, managing to not Hulk out from their travels.

 

“I see all.” The man simply answered, giving a slight nod of approval to Bruce. “Milord, the Allfather and the Queen await your guests.”

 

“Thank you Heimdall”

 

The group followed Thor outside of the golden room they arrived in and were all stopped short by the view they were given. Before them stretched, what in Earth myth was known as the rainbow bridge leading to Asgard, the city surrounded by water and cliffs somehow seemingly suspended in space. It was so magnificent as to make one wonder if it was truly real. How was it that she was here again? She looked over one side with Tony, who looked impressed, not an easy task.

 

“Soon we will be at the palace, my friends.” Thor said with a smile, walking over to what looked like horses but were slightly different in coloring and how they held themselves. They were larger but not overly so and more robust. She wouldn't doubt that they could easily defeat any horse on Earth in a race. “I trust most of you can ride?”

 

“I can. I'm Lakota, it's in my blood.” Holly said, walking over to a black horse and holding out her hand to it. It reacted much like any horse she ever encountered, sniffing at her hand before pressing into it to earn affection. “So are these Asgardian horses or are all horses from Asgard?”

 

“Actually, these aren't horses though I suppose they do look like them. It is an interesting question you pose. They do have a shared ancestor, a creature from the Kree world that is now extinct.”

 

“So Earth horses are actually an alien species?” Bruce asked, looking at the creatures hesitantly as one that was ironically a nearly greenish white investigated the hand he'd held out.

 

“Not exactly. It is complicated, Banner.”

 

“Did you say, Kree?” Coulsen's face was almost white.

 

Holly closed her eyes. Fuck. The alien that was the focus of Project Tahiti was a Kree and the city where they lost Trip and Skye had been transformed was an ancient Kree city.

 

Before anyone else could say anything, Thor did. He walked over to Coulson and put his hands on his shoulders, nearly dwarfing him. “Listen to me, Son of Coul. Heimdall has kept me aware of your trials on Midgard and what was done to bring you back from the gates of Valhalla. If there was a way to prevent the loss of your warrior Triplett, all of Asgard would have acted, trust in that. Much of Asgardian battle on Midgard was against Frost Giants but also against the Kree. I regret that not all of their cities or experiments on your people weren't discovered and destroyed.”

 

Coulson looked up at Thor, the pain in his eyes breaking Holly's heart. “I hate that what brought me back is part of what killed Trip.”

 

“I understand, my friend. I do not believe it is how your fallen warrior Triplett would have seen it though. I shall have our healers examine you, if you wish it. We sadly have experience with the genetic manipulations of the Kree.”

 

“Thank you, Thor.” Nat spoke for Coulson, putting her hand on his shoulder in support. “Come on, Phil. I want to see you figure out how to ride a horse in this suit.”

 

* * *

 

Holly stayed close to Steve but her eyes were everywhere trying to take in the huge golden hall after the exhilaration of racing Asgardian horses down the Bifrost. Thankfully, vehicles similar to chariots had been provided for Bruce, Pepper and Coulson. Tony just flew, still unforgiving of the horse that threw him during a riding lesson her own mother had given him before she as born.

 

She felt very small, as she was sure Natasha did too. The Asgardians assembled for their arrival were easily six feet at the shortest. They seemed friendly enough, armor and robes being the apparent popular fashion. Now she didn't feel quite so strange wearing her full Skywalker uniform, complete with the robe. She concentrated on walking confidently, Asgardian culture being all about self confidence and strength.

 

They approached a huge throne where, large as life, Odin sat, his wife Queen Frigga standing nearby in a beautiful glowing gown. She had a smile on her face and Holly felt welcomed by that alone. She wondered how difficult the holiday was for the pair with their adopted son imprisoned somewhere in the city for his crimes against NY and humanity. Odin looked imposing upon his throne, his hair white and long, a golden patch over one eye. She didn't quite understand how Asgardians aged, but he had to be ancient by Earth standards and yet looked healthier than most men on Earth.

 

“Hail. I give greetings to the friends of my son Thor, heroes of Midgard, vanquishers of the Chitari. Avengers, I welcome you to Asgard.” Odin stood, his voice thundering without much effort. Now she saw where Thor got it from.

 

Holly dropped to her knee, as did Bruce, both of them reaching out to those nearby to get them to do the same. She took the chance and spoke before Tony could put his big metal foot in his mouth. She had a feeling Steve might not know how to answer in this situation. She, however, had gone to Julliard and had studied Shakespeare. It'd be easy. She hoped. “We are honored, milord. We thank you for your hospitality and gracious welcome.” She kept her head down out of respect.

 

She waited a moment before looking up to see Odin with a small pleased curve to his lips behind his rather carefully maintained white beard. No wonder he inspired the legend of Santa Claus. “My son, I must approve of your friends. Rise and stand as equals.” He waited till they all stood and then he took his seat back on his massive throne. “You must be Lady Skywalker, mistress of the swords of light.”

 

Holly took a half step forward and bowed slightly in respect. “I am Milord.”

 

“My son and Lady Sif have told us all many times of the tale of your battle against the metal men of Doom.”

 

“Yes, milord. It was truly an honor to fight besides them.”

 

“Yes, I do believe I'm going to like you.” The King laughed good naturedly. “We have quarters prepared for all of you as well as Asgardian garb, should you choose. You may travel whereever you wish, all of Asgard welcomes your visit.”

* * *

 

 

“Lady Holly, do your quarters please you?”

 

Holly looked up from her balcony to see Thor coming in for a landing with Mjolnir. “They are fantastic, Thor, thank you. It's so beautiful here.”

 

He landed deftly, giving her a warm smile. “Odin was most pleased with you. One would think that you were raised in a royal court. Pray tell, is there something you haven't shared?”

 

She chuckled. Though Thor spoke a bit more formally than she was used to, his teasing and good humor shined through. “No, but I'm pretty good at adapting. Believe me, I was nervous. I didn't want to look foolish. Or let Tony get us thrown out.”

 

Thor laughed. “Aye, Stark has a way about him, this is true. I have warned the Allfather well in advance. I apologize for not being on Midgard when you were formerly made an Avenger. I approve most highly and welcome you as a shield sister.”

 

“Is that the way Asgardians refer to teammates?”

 

“It is similar, though deeper in meaning.”

 

“The honor is mine then, Thor Odinson.”

* * *

 

**Natasha POV**

Natasha walked into the large golden room that they first arrived in, not surprised that she was right in finding Steve there, looking out onto the view, Earth somewhere out there. She wasn't much for astronomy, she had enough to handle with just one planet, thank you. “Thought I might find you here.”

 

He turned, apparently surprised at being found. He hadn't gone for the Asgardian robes provided but his own civilian clothing. Thankfully his style had evolved since the first time they met and he'd been wearing those pleated khakis. It helped that Pepper, Holly and herself would shop for him much to his chagrin. “Oh. Hey Nat.”

 

She walked over to stand at his side. “Feeling homesick?”

 

He shrugged. “Maybe. I don't know. Just the idea of not being on Earth is messing with my mind a bit.”

 

“Thinking about Barnes?”

 

He sighed, his shoulders slumping a little. “Yeah. A bit. Heimdall couldn't tell me where he was. Something about how he couldn't betray one who wasn't ready to be found. But...he said he's safe. He's alive.” He turned and looked at her, pain in his eyes. “I just feel like I should be back out there. Looking for him. Especially now. It's like that song you made me listen to last year. Does he even know it's Christmas?”

 

She shook her head and leaned against him, tucking her arm into his. “Maybe, maybe not. But from all you've told me about him, he wouldn't want you torturing yourself like this. You are on another planet Steve. Across the universe. How many people get to experience that?”

 

His other hand came over and covered hers, giving it a squeeze. “True enough.”

 

“Come on, one of Thor's friends challenged Clint to see who was the better shot. He literally looks like Robin Hood. Let's go watch.”

 

He gave her a smile and let her turn him from the view of the universe spread out before him and toward the entrance that would lead them to the bridge.

 


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A really long chapter for ya. Please comment and share if you like it. Sadly this little story is getting the least amount of attention. Just the same, thank you for the attention you've given it!

**Holly POV**

Holly was amazed by the royal gardens recommended to her by Lady Sif. The Asgardian had given her condolences over the loss of Trip, agreeing with Thor's assurance that he'd been welcomed well into Valhalla. Part of her hoped he was there with her in that moment. He would have been so excited to go across the galaxy like this.

“Lady Skywalker?”

  
She turned her head to see what on Earth would be a pair of teenagers with a small group of children standing nearby. She was quickly learning that age wasn't easily determined on Asgard and it was easier to just not bring it up. “Yes? Hi.”

“Our charges wanted to meet you while you visited from Midgard. Is it true that you harness magic much like our Queen?”

Jane and Darcy had been very kind in explaining to her that on Asgard, science and magic were much in the same. Queen Frigga's abilities would have classified her probably as a mutant on Earth or at the very least a metahuman. Apparently not very many people had her kind of magic, a gift she'd given to Loki as a baby.

“It isn't considered magic on my world.” She began slowly. “There I'm called a mutant. I was born with an extra ability that most others aren't. It first manifested when I was young. I am able to move physical things with my mind.”

“And you can fight as well as an Asgardian! That's what Prince Thor told us! He said you fight with swords of light!” One little girl said excitedly, moving forward from the rest of the group. She looked to be about 6 Earth years old. “Can we see you use your magic? Please, Lady Skywalker?”

She gave a quick look to the teens, since the smaller children were their responsibility. They looked to each other and then the girl gave her a nod to go ahead. “I don't see why not.” She reached out mentally and carefully picked up the little girl who let out a pleased shriek as her feet left the ground and she floated about 3 feet up. Then, she floated the girl around the group, slowly tumbling her end over end, the other children excited and declaring they wanted to go next.

It was only after she brought the girl back to the ground that the teens' eyes grew wide and they dropped their heads, their fisted hands to their hearts, the other children all dropping their gaze. Confused, Holly looked behind her to see King Odin himself. Oh shit.

“Milord.” She stood and dropped to a knee out of respect, really hoping she hadn't done something she shouldn't have right in front of Thor's father. “I was just showing the children what I can do, I meant no offense.”

“No offense was given, Lady Skywalker. Please, rise. I appreciate you taking time to teach our children of Midgard. Children, one must always question, always learn. You may grow to be fine warriors but Asgard would be nothing without each member of our society. Not just the warriors. Remember that.”

“Yes, King Odin.”

“Now I believe there might be a treat waiting for all of you in the Royal Hall with the Queen. I wonder who might be the first one there and receive a special Yule gift?”

Holly couldn't help but smile as the kids all took off after genuflecting to their king, even the teens, one of which had picked up the smallest child who wasn't able to keep up with the others. It was ironic that Odin would encourage the children with treats and gifts and on Earth he'd been one of the inspirations for Santa.

“Would you care to walk with an old man through the gardens, Lady Skywalker?”

Looking back to Odin, Holly wondered if feeling your age was something possible on Asgard. Thor had told them of something called Odinsleep which Darcy tried to explain as Odin recharging like an iPod. Dismissing those thoughts, she nodded to the king who held out his arm much like a gentleman on Earth might. “It would be my honor, milord.”

They walked quietly for a few moments before the king spoke again. “My son spoke to us of your gifts, your abilities. I understand that many on Midgard are intolerant of your abilities and those of others. Is this correct?”

“Yes, milord. Unfortunately, humans have a bad tendency to fear what they do not understand or choose not to understand. That fear leads to anger and hatred. I'm sorry to say that many people with gifts akin to mine have been killed because of that fear.”

“That tendency exists on Asgard as well. I trust you know the story of my....of Loki and how I kept his true heritage from him?”

She was surprised the king would speak of his adopted son to her and she couldn't help but notice that he stopped himself from referring to him as his son. “Yes, milord. It must have been difficult to do. You did it to protect him.” Considering that most Asgardians spoke of the Frost Giants as monsters, it made sense.

“And yet it seemed to only drive him into madness.” The King sighed. “I must take responsibility for what Loki did to your world when he attacked with the Chitari. That was not the boy I knew. The boy my Queen and I raised.”

“Milord, while Loki isn't guiltless, I believe as Thor does that he was being influenced. He was found vulnerable, unsure of who he truly was and whoever gave him that staff, used that against him. You can't blame yourself. May I suggest it be a reason to try and help Loki?”

Odin stopped and looked at her in surprise. “You would want to help Loki after he killed your Coulson and so many of your people? After he influenced, to use your words, your archer into doing his bidding?”

She sighed, not wanting to think about that awful feeling when she learned that Clint had been compromised by Loki or when Tony had told her that Coulson was, as nearly everyone thought at the time, dead. “My mother, my adopted mother, was a firm believer in the idea of redemption. If you don't give someone a chance, she would say, then what would make you worthy of the same?” Peggy had been one of the first to back her father's actions with the woman who'd become his wife and the same with Clint when he brought in Natasha. When she found out about Bucky being the Winter Soldier, her first thought was how he could be helped.

Odin nodded in approval. “I believe I would have liked your mother, the Lady Carter. Your Captain has spoken highly of her and how she raised you as her own when your birth mother was killed in battle.”

Holly nodded. “She was one of the best our world had to offer. I miss her very much.”

“Those we lose never truly leave us, Lady Skywalker. Lady Carter lives within you. I shall have to think on your words regarding....my son Loki. It is difficult for me as King to forgive him or myself for his actions.”

“Just try talking to him. It will take time, milord.”

“Thank you.” He took a deep breath and then looked at her with the light glinting off his golden eyepatch. “Shall we see if the children left any treat for us back at the Royal Hall?”

She smiled and nodded as they headed back in the direction of the palace. “Hopefully Queen Frigga was able to hide some for us!”

* * *

 

  
"Thank you very much for the gift, Holly, really."

"Cap, you gotta open it first! Cart, horse, you know?" Clint teased from the Asgardian version of a sofa he lounged on with Natasha and Coulson. The room that had been set aside for their offworld Christmas morning was high in a tower of the palace, it's glass walls giving them an amazing panoramic view not just of Asgard but of the universe surrounding them. It was quite humbling.

Steve rolled his eyes. "Considering this is my first real Christmas since roughly 1943 and that consisted of a day long cease fire in a bombed out Polish bakery, I'll say thank you first."

Holly instinctively gave Tony a look to keep his mouth shut about 1944 and after. No need to remind Steve of his last Christmas with Bucky or that the man who he had thought lost was still out there lost. She was nervous about the gift and hoped she hadn't overstepped.

She bit her lip as he carefully removed the gift paper to reveal the frame that held a very rare and important trio of pictures. The first was one of Steve's parents with tiny baby Steve. The quality was poor and it was sepia, having been taken in 1918, but it was obvious they were a loving family. John Rogers was in his infantry uniform and Holly had wondered if it was the same he wore when he died in the mustard gas attack just a few months later, weeks before the war ended. He'd been 25, same age his son would be when he became Captain America. Steve had inherited his mother's eyes and hair, but the rest was his father's.

The second was of Steve around age 5 with his mother. He was dressed in what was probably his best clothes which included a page boy hat, suspenders holding up short pants and kneesocks. It was possibly one of her favorite pictures just for the fact of how adorable Steve was when he was a child. He was very small but his smile was gave him away, something the serum didn't effect. His mother, Sarah, looked at him instead of the camera and it was obvious that her world revolved around her son. Holly had wondered what the woman would have thought of the eventful life her son had led.

The third was the most surprising to find. It was of Steve and Bucky as young men at the 1938 World's Fair, the iconic metal globe behind them as they both grinned for the camera, arms around each other's shoulders. Taken before either of them could ever even conceive of their futures and before they attended the fateful first Expo held by Howard Stark. Bucky looked handsome and happy, the arm he would have replaced wrapped around his friend. It was almost like an entirely different person and despite the smile on his face, it was very sad to think what would happen to him in a few short years. Steve was much shorter and his clothes hung on him but Holly thought he was handsome just the same. Something in his eyes and that smile. That despite all his health issues and the fact his mom was nearing the end, he still had hope enough to smile. It was probably one of the last pictures in existence of him before the serum, before the war. That is before he went to Camp Lehigh.

Deep down, it was that undying hope and bravery that made him Captain America, not just the serum. It was something Peggy had repeatedly insisted. Who you really are is what is inside of you, not what people can see.

She watched Steve for a reaction and noted he'd was staring with wide eyes at the pictures, like he feared they would be taken from him so he had to memorize them. It took a few moments before a strangled "How?" escaped his lips. It was very obvious, even to those who weren't capable of reading body language that he was trying very hard not to give in to his emotions. How long had it been since he'd been able to look at a picture of his mother? Of Bucky before the war? Of himself before the war or as a child?

"A neighbor of the house you lived in as a toddler, before your mother moved you to Walker Avenue, found the first two in an album that was barely holding together in the house's basement. There had been a water main break and they were cleaning up. I'm sorry but this is what they managed to rescue. My father was actually the one who took possession of them and I honestly never knew who they were. I just knew how they were found, that is, until I got to know you." Thanks to the research for her book about him and the Commandos, she knew many minute details of his life as a boy. Walker Avenue was infamous as the Home of Captain America and for where he would meet his best friend who just happened to live in the apartment next door.

He looked at her confused. She realized it was how she'd been able to recognize unlabeled pictures.

"Labeling them would've revealed his status with SHIELD, I guess. Or he didn't want Coulson to steal them." The group chuckled as Coulson nodded, everyone having gathered to look at Steve's present. She'd shown the pictures to the Director the night before when she'd been wrapping them in the rooms given to her to stay in. He'd gushed over them, amazed that they even existed.

"Your mother was beautiful, Steve." Bruce said with his gentle way, putting his hand supportive on the blonde's shoulder.

“Ohh! And look at you! So cute! Captain Adorable!” Pepper gently teased, ruffling Steve's hair with her hand affectionately. Holly enjoyed seeing just how supportive of “the boys” Pepper was. She always justified it as making up for all the trouble Tony would get them in.

Steve nodded his thanks but turned back to Holly. "What do you mean you knew who it was when you got to know me? These are all before the serum. I look completely different."

She felt her face flush a little before she answered. How to say this without sounding like a schoolgirl with a crush or at least the female version of Coulson? "Your eyes, sweetheart. And your smile. That didn't change."

"Aww!" Pepper gushed as she returned to her seat with Tony who was barely able to restrain himself from rolling his eyes at his girlfriend's declarations. "That's sweet!" She smacked him in annoyance. “It is!”

Steve thankfully didn't say anything but the look in his eyes then made Holly very self conscious of the other people in the room. Did it mean that much to him that she could recognize that he honestly hadn't changed where it counted with the serum? The serum didn't make him brave or selfless, that was already there. In her research for her book about him and the Commandos, she'd heard story after story of pre-serum Steve going out of his way to help others, even at his own detriment. How he'd made it to his 20s in one piece amazed her.

"What about the third one?”

With a thankful look to Natasha for the rescue, Holly explained. "Actually, that one I found with Jarvis' assistance. He helped me deduce any possible events or situations you might have gone to where there would be photography. I figured there had to be pictures of the two of you before the war out there somewhere. I remember my Dad telling me about how Uncle Dum Dum helped him skip school to go to the Fair and we went from there. Jarvis, can you show them the picture you found for me?"

"Certainly." The AI answered, a projection from her wrist showing a similar picture but with two young brothers, one around 28 with an iconic bowler and the other about 14 or so. Both had the same big smile and bright blue eyes. The background was the same of that of the picture of Steve and Bucky, the brothers seemingly have gone to the same photographer as the iconic Brooklyn boys.

"Small world, huh?" Holly shrugged, looking at Steve who was looking between the   
picture in his lap and the projected one before Jarvis took it down. "Maybe you   
did meet my dad after all. Even in passing."

"Maybe."

It w as s quiet for a moment before Holly couldn't take it anymore. Had she overstepped? "Do you like it?"

Steve didn't reply verbally. He silently and cautiously handed the frame to Bruce before standing up and pulling her up and wrapping his arms around her tightly. She was relieved that he liked the gift, she'd been hesitant about either giving it to him or finding a way for him to “find” the pictures himself somehow. She gave into the hug, always enjoying being close to him, especially when it didn't have to deal with major emotional trauma. Happy hugs were the best.

She mentally groaned at the two flashes meaning pictures had been taken of the hug but also made a note to get her hands on a copy.

"I can't tell you how much this means to me. Thank you.” He murmured into her hair, his voice soft and intimate.

“Not living in the past doesn't mean not celebrating it or remembering the good times.” She told him quietly, reluctantly pulling back with a smile. “I'm glad you like them.”

  
“Can I open mine now?” Tony whined.

Holly rolled her eyes and laughed as she and Steve took their seats again, the soldier again looking at pictures he thought lost. She was almost tucked into his side, his arm stretched out along the back of the sofa. “Yes!”

She held her breath as Pepper handed Tony the thin letter sized wrapped box. She only hoped that he liked it or would want to go through with it. She was taking a leap but it was something that she, her father and brother had talked about wanting to do for years. Now that they'd really reconnected and he'd helped her move on from everything with the loss of her biological family, it was time.

Tony cracked jokes about what it could be, from a luxury liner to a puppy. He ripped off the paper, Pepper taking it before he could toss it and removed the cover before stopping short. He stared at the contents and for once in his life was struck silent.

“What is it Tony?” Bruce asked, noticing his friend's lack of expression.

When he looked up, Holly could almost feel herself shaking. Now was the moment of truth. What would his reaction be?

“Come on, Stark. What is it?” Clint said, sitting up from his reclined position with curiosity. “What does one get for the man with everything?”

Tony blinked. “It's adoption papers.”

There were multiple sounds of confusion. “Wait, what?” Steve asked. “Adoption for who?”

Holly took the chance and spoke up. “It's the paperwork so that Tony and I can be legally siblings. It's like adoption, in a way. If he wanted to do it, he'd keep his name for business and everything but legally, his name would be Anthony Dugan-Stark.” She'd decided to be nice and not call him out with his full name. That was only for when he was in trouble.

A long minute passed, Holly sharing a look with Pepper who looked near tears and with Bruce who looked rather pleased, much approval in his eyes. He'd commented on her affect on Tony more than once, enjoying seeing Tony focusing on more than just himself and work. “So...do you want to?” She asked finally.

What she didn't expect was the giggle that came from Tony and turned into a full blown laugh. She was confused and more than a little hurt. Was that really what he thought of it? She looked to Pepper again, the woman very good at translating Tony when Holly wasn't able to and the minute shake of her head told her that it wasn't the kind of laughter she or the others thought it was. Steve had put his hand on her shoulder and Thor looked rather stern.

“Pep....Pep, give her....give her my present!” Tony managed, struggling for breath, a giggle escaping.

Confused, Holly took a box from Pepper and with everyone watching it, opened it. She gasped.

“Holly?” Steve asked, concerned but not looking to see what had been in the box. He was a gentleman after all.

“Would someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?” Clint declared, getting a smack upside the head by both Natasha and Coulson.

Tony had managed to stop laughing and was able to speak again. “It's the same thing, Legolas. Holly's gift is the paperwork to make her legally my sister and heir to Stark Industries, which she already was anyway, surprise. Her name would just legally be, Holly Margaret Stark-Dugan.” He paused. “Of course, if that's something she'd want.” He waved his hand like it was no big thing but was watching her just the same. Tony was the king of trust issues and something like this was huge.

Pepper was barely able to push Tony up to standing before Holly vaulted the table and all but tackled him. “Of course I want it, you asshole!”

Tony hugged her as tight as she hugged him and she swore his reactor was brighter as everyone cheered and congratulated them. Of course, Pepper was actually crying now and Bruce was pretending that he had something stuck in his throat. Even Jane, who didn't really know them that well was gushing about how sweet it was. “Would you like me to call you Auntie now?” Jarvis asked quietly from the skin graft tech behind her ear.

That made her get a little teary even though she laughed at the AI's sweet teasing. “Anything you want, sweetheart.”

Tony kept his arms around her but stepped back a little. “Look guys. I went all the way to Asgard and I'm going home with a little sister!”

Everyone cheered and surrounded them, offering congratulations. After a little bit, Tony kissed her forehead and gently pushed her back to sit with Steve, giving her a wink. The love in his eyes was a beautiful thing. No matter what image of himself he tried to portray to others, he could never hide who he really was to her, her Ony.

“Alright, alright, I like giving out presents. Come on Cap, you're up.” Tony got up and grabbed a huge box that was wrapped in red, white and blue gift wrap. Of course. “Don't panic, it's nothing embarrassing. This time.”

“You didn't have to go to the effort. I mean, free room and board are plenty.”

“Steve, shut up.” Natasha said with a roll of her eyes.

“I second that!” Holly said, nudging Steve with her elbow. The guy was really too selfless. She was going to have to teach him how to indulge himself more. There was no war going on and thanks to his years of back pay and other income, he was a rather wealthy man.

Both Clint and Coulson declared “Third!”

To this, Steve just rolled his eyes at them all with an exasperated smile on his face. How many times had he reacted that same way to the antics of the Commandos?

Tony placed the box in Steve's lap and nonchalantly sat down on the table that the couches all surrounded. “Go on, open it.”

At the suspicious yet curious look Steve gave her, Holly shrugged and nodded. “I have no idea what it is either. He wouldn't let me see.”

Steve carefully removed the paper, passing it to Holly rather than throw it aside to reveal a white box. He removed the cover, handing that over and with a puzzled look, began digging through the white paper.

“It's just something I found kicking around that I thought you'd like.” Tony remarked nonchalantly, his eyes intently focused on Steve's face. He hadn't been kidding, Tony lived to surprise people with expensive gifts. Probably a hold over from Howard who just bought him things instead of actually spending time with him.

It was when Steve's jaw dropped and his eyes grew large that Holly looked to Nat who gave her a shrug. What would warrant such a reaction? “What is it Cap?” The director asked, curious.

Steve reached into the box with both hands and pulled out what was inside while Tony pulled the box away and behind him on the table. Holly gasped along with Coulson at what they saw. Of anyone there, they would be the ones to recognize the gift.

It was his original shield. The very original. The plain metal one that he'd used for all his short films and during the War Bond tour. The same one that he'd taken into his first mission that lead to him rescuing the men who would become his commandos. Including her uncle. And the imprint of Schmitt's fist was still there.

“Oh my god, is that?”

Standing, Steve turned it around, sliding his arm through the straps. “It's my original shield.” He blinked in shock. “I thought your father tossed it? Or someone with the SSR did.”

Tony shook his head. “Nah. Dad was a packrat. Never liked to throw anything out. Whatcha think?”

Steve shook his head then smiled as Coulson took a picture and then Pepper. “It's great. Really great. Thank you. Wow. I never thought I'd see this again.”

Tony stood and held out his hand. “Merry Christmas, Cap.”

Steve handed Holly the shield which she took very gently with wide eyes, inwardly losing her mind that she was holding it at all. She looked over at Coulson and almost laughed at the look of jealousy and longing on the man's face. Steve stood and shook Tony's hand with emphasis, clapping him on the shoulder. “Merry Christmas, Tony.”

There was a flurry of other presents. Clint gave both Natasha and Holly matching batleths, the weapon of choice for Klingons on Star Trek. That of course led to an impromptu fight to show off to mostly Steve and Thor how the weapons were meant to be used and both were impressed. Holly made a mental note to get a copy of the picture Pepper took of both she and Natasha kissing Clint's cheeks in thanks and the blissful smile on his face in result. Of course Clint's real present for Natasha as well as hers to him were no doubt given in private. For Clint, Holly had given him a specially made bow that could, with the flick of a wrist, become a staff. For Natasha, to go with her arrow necklace from Clint, she'd given her one with a sword that had a green emerald blade. “That way you can keep both of us around no matter what.”

Natasha gave her a pleased smirk as Clint helped her put the necklace on. “That right there sounds like trouble.”

“That's the point!” Both she and Clint said with a laugh before linking pinkies.

Pepper had gone all out and in a shared gift from both herself and Jarvis, had given Holly a genuine Stradivarius violin in peak condition, dated to 1678. It was so beautiful, Holly was afraid to touch it but after everyone insisted, carefully lifted it out and played a bit of a tango on it, over the moon with how the centuries old instrument played. “Do I even want to know what this cost?”

“Cost doesn't matter Holly. The look on your face is more than worth it.” Pepper said with a smile after the pair hugged.

“Thank you Jarvis.”

“You are most welcome. I do enjoy listening to you play.”

Thor gifted everyone with fine Asgardian furs and cloaks from his parents and traditional Asgardian food and games to take back to Earth. He'd boasted that the barrels of mead would be able to even get Steve with his enhanced metabolism drunk.

“That's exactly what we need, a drunk Captain America streaking through the tower.” Clint said with a roll of the eyes and a smirk on his lips.

“I don't think I'd mind that.” Natasha said with a playful smirk. “Pep? Holly?”

“How much of that mead do you think would do it?” Holly asked sweetly while Pepper teased Steve with a wave of her camera and wiggling her eyebrows. “Just for argument sake.”

“Oh hey, could that be when you guys have Jane and I over to visit?” Darcy asked, making Thor laugh outloud.

“Oh for the love of pete!” Steve blushed, his eyes closed but a smile on his face. “I am not doing anything of the sort.”

“But it's Christmas!” Pepper pouted.

“Pep! I'm right friggin' here!”

“And I'm just human, Tony. Geez.”

After a good laugh was had, Steve handed out his presents to everyone which consisted of framed drawings. When they had all discussed what they wanted, most everyone had mentioned something about having a Steve Rogers original. His notebook from the war was in the Smithsonian, including the infamous drawing of himself as a performing monkey. That had been right before he'd set off to save Bucky.

For Thor and his family, it was a huge portrait of the royal family that surprisingly included Loki, looking calm and mischievous but not insane, not murderous. “No matter what he did, he's still your brother.” Steve said softly, a quick glance at both Coulson and Clint had the pair quietly nodding. They might hate the adopted Asgardian for what he did to them, but at the end of the day, he was still Thor's brother. “I can understand that better now that I know Bucky is out there. He's been forced to do some terrible things.” He now looked at Natasha who gave him a nod and a small smile. “But he's still my best friend, deep down.”

“I appreciate your candor, Captain. Loki is troubled, but he is still my brother. I will be sure that both the Allfather and my mother will appreciate it as well. Thank you.”

For Tony, it was a picture of his family. That included his parents, Pepper, Holly, her brother, her parents, Peggy and sweetly, his bots. For Jarvis, Steve had drawn both the butler and a digital looking figure of a man standing besides him. “Sometimes we all need to remember we aren't alone.”

Tony gave Steve a genuine smile as he admired the picture and then actually hugged him. It was a bro hug, but just the same, a hug.

For Pepper, it was a picture of her and Tony together, smiling and happy.

For Bruce, Steve had done a bit of research and had done a beautiful drawing of his mother, Sally Banner, smiling. The poor woman had never made it out of her twenties but now her son was twice the age she'd been when his father had murdered her. “Peggy inspired this, to be honest and I hope you don't mind me having Jarvis find me a few pictures of her. I just wanted you to be able to remember her happy and know she's with you. I know my mom is with me, just like Peggy is with Holly. You know?”

It was sweet how it took Bruce a moment to speak, both Tony and Pepper right by his side. He looked up and gave Steve one of the most brilliant smiles and then a bear hug. Holly couldn't help but feel a little emotional at just how much the gift had touched their friend. Thanks to his accident, Bruce was constantly controlling his emotions. It was nice to see him actually be so happy and be able to express it. “Thanks Steve. Thanks a lot. This is fantastic. I forgot....I forgot how beautiful she was.”

“She really was, buddy.” Tony said softly. “You have her smile, not that you let us see it that much.”

Bruce shrugged. “I'm working on it.”

 

* * *

  
Holly looked at the framed drawing in her lap with wide eyes. Steve had drawn an expanded version of the Howling Commandos picture that he had for himself in his apartment. This version had a few new members, dressed in the appropriate clothing and with the right hair for the time. The original Commandos stood behind him as Captain America while on either side of him stood Holly and Coulson on one side and Trip with her brother and father on the other. Coulson, her father and Trip had guns while she had a staff and her brother had a sword. Peggy had her hand resting on Holly's shoulder while Gabe had his resting on his grandson's shoulder and Dum Dum had his resting on Eddie's and his own brother's shoulders. She could see the symbolism. And somehow seeing an artistic representation of the phrase, Commandos are Family, made her heart swell.

She looked up at Coulson who looked like he was on the verge of tears not just because of being included as a Commando by Captain America himself but because Steve had made sure to include Trip. He'd already gotten a little emotional with his drawing which had been titled “The Heart of the New SHIELD” and included Coulson with his team and the Avengers, Trip standing next to Holly with a big grin on his face. As always.

“Do you like it?”

“Oh Steve. It's wonderful.” She said, blinking a little, her throat a little tight. She dabbed at her eye, determined not to cry. “I can't...I don't have words.”

“Man, Eddie must be doing a tiny little angel dance on your shoulder.” Tony said, coming around the couch along with everyone else to look at the drawing. “If you ever give up on this saving humanity thing, Rogers, you got a real talent as an artist.”

Steve snorted. “Gee, thanks. I think.”

Holly couldn't get over how he'd manage to say so much with just one drawing. She'd always grown up being told that she was a Legacy because of Dum Dum and Peggy too, but not a full Howling Commando. It had always been a source of pride for her, to know that her own uncle and adopted mother had fought right along side Captain America.

And now, he was including her with them, officially. Trip would have been over the moon for this.

Tony must have seen the warning signs and managed to carefully pull away the picture before she all but tackled Steve against his side of the couch. The blonde let out a surprised oof before laughing and hugging her back. “I think the war would have been over in a week if we'd had the whole Dugan clan fighting back then. Make old Adolf piss himself in fear of hearing the dreaded Dugan Wahoo.” He pressed a kiss to her temple that the others wouldn't have seen thanks to her hair blocking their view.

She giggled against his chest. “Got that damned right. Would have ripped that stupid mustache right off his lip myself.”

Steve chuckled and squeezed her in his arms. Later, she wasn't sure if he'd realized he said it but she certainly heard it. Just as he let her go and she went to move back, he softly murmured, “That's my girl.”

She wouldn't say anything, but it was those three words that had her smiling for the rest of the day, even the feasting with the royal family that night, more than his gift to her had.

 


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay...for the few people that read this (THANK YOU)....this is the chapter you've been waiting for. I hope you like it!

**Holly POV**

Holly only had a few lights on in her apartment, sometimes preferring to just look out onto the city, watching the lights and traffic. Being that it was New Years Eve, it was a bit busier than usual and from her vantage point, she could see the chaos that was normal for Times Square. And yet after the time spent on Asgard, it seemed so insignificant. She wondered if you took all the revelers and transported them off planet, how many would realize that all the petty bullshit that they thought was important really wasn't in the grand scheme?

 

Sadly probably not very many.

 

On their return, she and Steve had gone to Washington to help the BAU team with a serial killer who was targeting the descendants of veterans of the 107th, Steve's old unit. It had led to her confession on the way down about going to the group about finding Bucky. Steve hadn't been happy because as both she and Sam had predicted, he was stubbornly holding on to the idea that he could find his best friend all by himself. But it had been momentary because he knew that she had done it for a good reason. And once he met the team, he saw that she had picked an exceptional group of people to help.

 

There'd been no news on Bucky but they had helped catch the UNSUB, or unknown subject. Steve had impressed the entire team with his deductions and it was thanks to his inside knowledge of the men of the 107th and their motivations that they had managed to figure out who they were looking for and why.

 

Six victims had been brutally killed and left out by their trash cans by the grandson of a man who had been one of the potential subjects for Project Rebirth. Holly had been shocked because she'd grown up hearing Peggy tell the story about how the first time she'd met Steve, she'd also slugged a mouthy private by the name of Hodge. Apparently though he survived the war, Hodge hadn't gotten past his propensity to be a bully. It had been one of the reasons that Erksine hadn't wanted him and had wanted Steve instead. He'd all but terrorized his own children and they in turn had kept up the family tradition. As it turned out, his eldest son had died roughly two weeks after Peggy had, to no fanfare or recognition for his own service during Vietnam. That had been the trigger for his own son, a classic psychopath to lash out.

 

In a strange touch of irony, as Peggy had slugged his bully grandfather, Holly had gotten the chance to pass her own family tradition down and hit him with the punch she'd been taught by Peggy as a young child. Steve had been most amused.

 

Now, a few days later, the Tower was quiet since most everyone had gone to the New Year Stark Gala. It was a huge event Tony had every year and it raised money for underprivileged kids to go to college. The big draw this year was that most every Avenger would be there, dressed to the nines. It was a very swanky event. Bruce, of course, had bowed out since there would be more people than he was really comfortable with and the potential for fireworks or a drunken asshole trying to coax The Other Guy out was too great.

 

She had wanted to go but with her debut as an Avenger, the media had gone on a frenzy about her and not all of it was positive. There was still a big controversy over her being a “secret mutant” and a potential danger. Pepper hadn't backed down and now was taking her former University to court for discrimination after they fired her promptly after she outed herself in defense of a pregnant mutant about to be beaten to death. There were some who were supportive, saying it was only right there be another woman in the Avengers and better yet, a mutant woman. The clip of Steve defending her was still very popular and was enough for quite a few people to accept her. Just the same it felt like the hate outweighed the support.

 

She sighed, looking out on the city. It was sad that no matter what it was, skin color, nationality, religion or genetic ability, people just seemed to want to focus on what made them different. Everyone had encouraged her to go to the Gala anyway, no matter what the media was saying, but she declined. The Gala was supposed to be about the kids and raising money for them, not to serve as an exhibit for the “Mutie” new Avenger.

 

She almost jumped when she heard the knock at her door. After dinner, Bruce had said he planned to maybe watch a movie or two before turning in early so she didn't think it was him. He'd confessed that while he didn't like the reason she'd stayed behind, it was nice to have a New Year's Eve dinner with someone rather than be alone. She'd agree to that and was happy to cook and clean up with the unassuming scientist. “Come in!”

 

The door opened and the silhouette from the light out in the hall told her who it was. She knew that particular outline rather well. Tall with impossibly broad shoulders tapering down to a slim waist. “Holly? Why are you sitting in the dark? What's wrong? Did I wake you?”

 

She hadn't even thought about it. “Oh, shit. Sorry. Jarvis, can you turn up the lights just a bit?”

 

“Of course.” The lights came up softly, enough to illuminate but still keep the mood.

 

Holly was pretty sure her jaw was probably on the ground. There, in her doorway stood Steve Rogers in a very expensive looking and no doubt bought by Tony, tuxedo. An actual tuxedo with a bow tie, cummerbund and everything. And damn, did he look good in formal clothing. “Oh wow. Wow.”

 

And even with the serum and all that he had experienced in his life, Steve still managed to blush when given a compliment. It was so refreshing compared to guys who expected admiration for how they looked. Sometimes she wondered if Steve still saw his pre-serum self when he looked in the mirror. Was he still skinny Steve in his head? “Umm, thanks?”

 

“Steve, honey, you look amazing. I mean, wow. To put it in 21st century terms, daaaaamn.” She went so far as to do the dramatic lean back along with it.

 

He chuckled and looked down to his feet. “Stop. It's just a suit.”

 

She shook her head and stepped forward. That was the less than confident about his looks preserum Steve talking. It was almost natural now to be able to see the dichotomy in Steve's personality. “No, sweetheart. It's the whole package. You look really very handsome. How many rich old ladies grabbed your butt tonight?”

 

He sighed and slumped his shoulders. “God, enough that I think I might have bruises! And I'm older than most of the dirty old things!”

 

She snorted at his dramatic posture, giggling at the idea of Steve trying to be polite while avoiding getting grabbed. Managing to dance away from one old bitty, only to fall into the grasp of another. Peggy would have loved it. Hell, she would have orchestrated it. “Want me to call Nat? She can start breaking fingers if you want.”

 

“No point, she was the first one to do it!”

 

Holly barked out a laugh, shaking her head. “I should have known.”

 

He sighed. “I should have just stayed here. I felt like a side of beef!”

 

“Steve, sweetie, you know how much money those dirty old women probably donated because they got the chance to pinch the butt of the Captain America?”

 

“I know. It's just....creepy.”

 

“Aww, if it makes you feel better, I'm sure Clint is getting a few goosings too.”

 

“And enjoying it. I'm kind of glad you didn't go. There were a few city politicians that were looking at Pepper and Natasha in a way that I thought I'd have to break their noses for.”

 

She shook her head and invited him over to where she'd moved the couch so she could watch the city. She thought it was sweet how protective Steve could be of the women around him, even though she knew that he was fully aware that they were all capable of handling things on their own. “I'm sure both of them are more than capable of doing that themselves.”

 

“True. Now if you are done ogling me, can I please take off this damn tie?”

 

She held up her hand, did a dramatic foot to toe and back stare and then sighed. “Ok, I'm done. Go ahead.”

 

He smirked, betraying his amusement and undid the tie and the jacket, leaving the ends of the tie hanging loose against the shirt, which he deftly undid the first couple buttons. The cummerbund was taken off, folded and tucked into his jacket pocket. “That is so much better. I don't know how Stark manages to wear these things all the time.”

 

“Practice. Believe me. The version they made for me for The Producers wasn't that comfortable either, considering that it didn't really have pants and the heels were killer.” She didn't have the heart to tell him that undoing the tie and the buttons hadn't made him any less appealing. In fact, it'd made her have to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from asking him to keep going.

 

“But you looked fantastic.”

 

She smiled as they both sat down. “Thanks sweetheart.” She looked down at her own outfit of simple yoga pants and a form fitting tshirt that read Keep Calm and Call The Avengers. “Now I feel quite under-dressed!”

 

“I don't think so. You look nice. Comfortable.” Steve shrugged. “You always look beautiful to me...I mean...you know.”

 

She had to fight the urge to say aww and instead leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “Thank you.”

* * *

 

 

“3...2....1! Happy New Year. Welcome to 2016!”

 

Holly went to give Steve a hug and then quickly realized that he fully planned on having the traditional New Years, complete with a kiss at midnight. What she didn't realize was that he didn't plan on just a kiss on the cheek and kissed her full on the mouth. She was surprised at first but decided it was a once in a lifetime thing and kissed him back. It was a slow, soft and innocent kiss, but sweet and memorable just the same.

 

When they both pulled back, she realized that his fingers had been cupping her jaw, his other hand resting innocently on her knee. She'd managed to keep one hand to herself while the other hand rested delicately on his long smooth neck. His eyes were still closed and she couldn't help but notice how long his eyelashes were or how full and tempting his lips were.

 

Her heart was thudding against her chest and all she wanted right at that moment was to kiss him again. She had no way of knowing if that amazing kiss had been just for the tradition or more. Who knew if she'd ever get the opportunity again to initiate a kiss with this man?

 

So she did.

 

His eyes had still been closed when she moved the few spare inches between them, pressing her lips to his again. He gasped a little and she took advantage, deepening the kiss just that much more. He must have approved because the hand that had innocently been resting on her knee was now gripping her knee and the hand cupping her jaw, slid into her hair.

 

The kiss quickly became much more than soft and innocent as she soon found herself being lifted so she was straddling him, one of her hands gripping his suit jacket, the other lost in his blonde hair. She wasn't normally so forward but she had to be closer to him as much as she needed air and water. She wagered he wasn't as forward either, but at the moment, he was. His arms were wrapped around her, one of his hands plunged into her hair, the other flat on her lower back where her shirt hand ridden up, warm and heavy.

 

They kissed for long minutes, pressing and pulling, teasing and soothing. Soon enough, even people with super soldier serum had to catch their breath and they did, foreheads pressed together as they both panted. She moved her hands to rest on his chest, keenly aware that she could feel his heart pounding. His hands moved to rest on her waist, almost encompassing it, his fingertips stroking her back absently.

 

“God I've been wanting that for ages.” He finally said into the quiet where they were now breathing each others air.

 

“Me too.” She not so subtly moved her hips to find that Steve had more than enjoyed the kiss or the fact she was straddling him. Either way, she highly approved. “I think there's something else you want too.”

 

His eyes opened and though the room was dimly lit, she could see his bright blue had darkened. “I...Holly...” The gentleman in him came to fore. And a bit of nervousness too it looked like? She had a feeling she knew why.

 

She dialed it back a bit and stroked his cheek with her fingertips. “Sweetheart, it's just you and me. Don't worry about the world out there or anyone else. I'm here with you because I want to be.” She kissed him very softly, smiling as his head moved to follow when she gently broke the kiss. “I don't care if you have experience or not or if you just want to kiss or more.”

 

He blinked at her. “How did you know?”

 

She smiled, enjoying how he kept tracing the small of her back with the tips of his fingers. It was driving her crazy. “It's not that hard to deduce. You take intimacy seriously but you aren't quite as innocent as some would think you are.” She let the fingers of her other hand play with the buttons on his shirt. “Capettes?”

 

“A few kisses, touches.” He admitted sheepishly. “And few girls I met during the tour. Just that, you know?” He shrugged. “They...they were interested in how I looked. In the name. Not me. It made a difference.” His eyes searched hers. “They didn't know me.” His nose gently nudged hers. Somehow the two of them had found themselves at ease with having the discussion with bare inches between them. This had been coming for a long time and most of any awkwardness between them was long gone. “You know me.”

 

“Yes, I do.” She gave him another soft kiss, gasping a little as his hands slid down over her ass, urging her to move closer, which she did. She loved how bold he could be and how familiar his hands and body were to her even if this was the first time they'd been so intimate. You share a bed with someone as many times as they had, you learned their body. She moved her mouth to his ear, “ Now I want to know what you feel like, all of you with nothing between us. I want to know the sounds you make.”

 

He shuddered. “Damn Holly.”

 

She smiled, moving back. “Tell me what you want, Steve.”

 

His eyes were wide but determined. “I want you.”

 

She gently rocked her hips forward, groaning at the cannon Steve apparently kept in his pants. “Oh thank god.”

 

He kissed her again and now his hips were moving too. His mouth left hers, trailing along her jaw to her neck. She let her head fall back, her body jerking against his as he discovered just how sensitive her neck was. “You are so beautiful.”

 

She smiled, loving how sweet he was. Her legs were actually trembling a little as she carefully eased herself off his lap, holding out her hands to him. “Come on. Not here. Well, not this time.”

 

“Oh yeah?”

 

“I'm going to have you, dear Captain, in my bed, like a proper lady.” She began leading him toward her bedroom loft area. “We'll save the debauchery for another night. I want a romantic New Year.”

 

“I can do that.” He pulled back on her arm and scooped her up in his arms with ease.

 

They shared a sweet kiss. “I bet you can.”

 


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My continued thanks for the few of you that read this story. It's the longest of the 3 I currently have on the site and the one with the least amount of love. Just the same, thank you. Please leave comments, they really do help the writing process!

**Holly POV**

Holly woke up slowly, feeling a bit worn out and achy, but in a very good way. The room was only lit by the early morning light. She smiled, finding herself completely wrapped in Steve. They'd made love three separate times and she wasn't quite sure if she'd ever let him out of this bed again. She'd only ever been with two other men, both many years ago. This had been a long time in coming and she hoped that in the light of day, Steve wouldn't regret losing his virginity to her.

 

His eyes opened and a smile took his lips as he looked on her, one of his huge hands moving up to touch her face. “Good morning, beautiful.”

 

“Hello handsome.” She replied, amazed that she'd been the one this man chose to share his virginity with. “How do you feel?”

 

“Good. Really good.” His blue eyes searched hers. “You are thinking too loud.” He kissed her forehead softly. “I'm very happy it was with you. How do you feel?”

 

She stroked his back, feeling the muscles and soft but strong skin. Part of her thrilled that he was able to know just what she was thinking about by reading her face. Most people weren't able to but he was. “I feel lucky. Treasured. Cherished. You were wonderful.”

 

“We were wonderful. Together.” He insisted rather than corrected. “I'll be honest, you've been on my mind, this way for a long time. You make me feel, complete. Not alone. Is that strange to say? Too much?”

 

She didn't answer right away, choosing instead to kiss him, thankful that neither of them could have bad breath thanks to the serum. He kissed her back, gently urging her onto her back, his hand resting on her side as he broke the kiss to kiss her jaw and neck. “Steve there aren't even words for how much I've wanted this.” She said with a sigh running her hands up and down his back as he softly nuzzled her neck.

 

“Really?”

 

“Oh yeah.”

 

He moved back and they returned to laying on their sides. “How long?”

 

She searched his eyes, so curious and intrigued by someone genuinely wanting him, not just what the serum created or the famous superhero. The man, that kid from Brooklyn. “Remember when we were in the diner and Tony was pretty much saying I had no choice, I was coming along on the mission?”

 

He blinked. She knew he remembered, his memory was as good as hers. “Yeah. I said of course you had a choice.”

 

She gave him a kiss. “That's what I wanted to do right then. I thought it was so sweet how you stood up for me. Then seeing the way you fought for me, in Bavaria.”

 

After a few moments, he spoke up. “Can I ask a question?”

 

“When did I lose mine?”

 

He sighed. “Doll, last I knew, you weren't a mindreader. Is that something that came with your grafts too?”

 

She laughed and shook her head. “No, it was just the most logical question.” She sat up, holding the sheet that had been covering them to her chest and turned to answer him. “I was 17.”

 

It was funny how she could almost hear his mind working. “Barton?”

 

She looked down at the sheet and back up. Now who was the mindreader? “Yes.”

 

“I thought maybe. You are very close, still.”

 

She shrugged and nodded. “We've been through a lot together. I won't go into details now, because it's not just about me. But I will say we were in a bad situation and well, what better way to face near certain death than to share a few moments of tenderness with your best friend?” That was barely touching the surface of what Uganda had been. The fear, the desperation. She would always love Clint for his caring heart and determination that he wasn't going to let any harm come to her. He'd been more than willing to kill her and then himself if they had no other option just to save her from what they both knew the men that had trapped them would do.

 

Steve moved so he was sitting up against the head of the bed, the frame somehow managing not to fall apart despite their earlier activities. That seemed almost a challenge for another night. “I understand. He's a good man.” There was no jealousy, no demands for details. Just understanding.

 

She smiled. “He's an ass, but he's special. In the head mostly. It's what makes him lovable.”

 

“Does Natasha know?”

 

“Yeah, she does. And she's fine with it. It's not easy, in this kind of lifestyle to form relationships outside of work. They don't understand. They can't.”

 

After a minute, Steve groaned. “You realize that Natasha is going to take credit for this?” He paused. “I mean, not this,” waving at the bed, “but this, you and I.”

 

Holly giggled. “Oh you better believe it. I wouldn't doubt they have a betting pool.”

 

He rolled his eyes with a twist to his lips. “Are you hungry?”

 

“Oh my god, I'm starving.” She paused and made a face. “And I really need a shower.”

 

The twist to his lips became a full on smile. “Alright, I'll cook while you shower then.”

 

“Steve, you don't have to.” She said as he almost nonchalantly got out of the bed and after a minute of looking found his boxer briefs from the night before and pulled them on. It was a bit strange almost to know that she was probably one of very few people who knew that Captain America had a dimple on his butt. “Just lemme dash in and then we can make breakfast together.”

 

“I want to, Holly. Let me make breakfast for you while you take a nice long leisurely shower.” He leaned over, placing both hands on the bed and gave her a kiss. “Now go on.”

 

**Steve POV**

Steve hummed to himself as he cooked. Who'd have thought he would be spending New Years Day like this? Making breakfast for the beautiful dame he'd spent the night making love to. And what a woman! The way she made him feel with just the brush of her fingertips, the hint of a smile. His fingers almost itched with an urge to draw her, lounging in the oversized mussed bed, her modesty tastefully hidden by the sheets. He'd have to ask her. That kind of picture you asked first rather than surprise with the final result.

 

It made him wonder if they were dating now. They hadn't really said the words. He remembered Bucky warning him that women saw sex much differently then men did. You had to be careful and make sure they knew the score before you undid your belt.

 

He knew it wasn't a situation like that, not for him anyway. He wanted this again. He wanted it all. Maybe Holly would like to go out to dinner? Jarvis would find him a nice restaurant. What did people do for dates these days besides dinner?

 

“Now this, this I could get used to.”

 

Steve turned and felt his heart clench at the sight before him. Holly was leaning against the end of the kitchen island and appeared to be wearing nothing more than his dress shirt from the night before. Not all the buttons were done and it only reached to about mid thigh, her tanned skin and long black hair standing out against the white. “That shirt looks so much better on you right now.” He blurted. Now he was kicking himself that he hadn't just followed her into the shower like he'd thought about.

 

She smiled, looking down at herself and then back up. “You think so? I just didn't feel like actually getting dressed after my shower and it's rather comfy. I was thinking you were being quite the tease, making me breakfast half naked.”

 

“Not a good idea to be near an open flame completely naked.” Though his boxer briefs weren't very much protection if he was honest.

 

She giggled, shaking her head. “God, Steve, you are just a piece of work.” She moved toward him and behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her cheek against his back. The simple action felt so intimate. He could stand like this for hours and be a happy man. How easily a touch from her made his day. “How long do you think we could hide in here before anyone would notice?”

 

“I'm sorry to say Holly, but your shared absence at breakfast this morning was very much noticed.” Jarvis spoke up. His voice came from her graft instead of the room speakers, loud enough so Steve could hear it but just barely.

 

She sighed, her warm breath washing over Steve's back. She moved so her forehead was pressed between his shoulder blades. “Which air duct, Jarvis?”

 

Steve was confused and Jarvis must have told her via her graft in a quieter tone because she pressed a kiss to his back before letting go and walking over to the couch were they had shared their first kiss. She didn't even look up at the air duct access point. In fact, she looked down, one hand on her hip. “I swear to god if you aren't out of there in the next five seconds, you will be a eunuch. 1! 2!”

 

Not even a second later, the cover fell to the floor to the left of Holly's feet and Barton tumbled out after it, landing on the couch. He was dressed in civilian clothes but had his tactical gloves on. “Goddammit Jarvis, you fucking snitch!” The archer cursed.

 

“It is not polite to eavesdrop, Agent Barton.”

 

Steve moved the pan to the unlit burner, amused as Holly moved around the couch, just as Barton was sitting up and put her hand into his hair and made a fist, pulling back none too gently. The archer all but shrieked. No wonder he had been quick to follow her command.

 

“How. Long. Were. You. In. There?”

 

“Not even a half hour!” She tightened her grip and his head moved back to try and ease the pain. “I didn't see or hear anything naked. I swear! You were going into the bathroom! I fucking watched Cap cook in his undies! Christ, come on Holly!”

 

She narrowed her eyes before letting him go and shoving his head away. “You have some damn nerve, Clint. Seriously.”

 

“Oh come on! Cap left the Gala early, then neither of you are around for breakfast and Stark made Jarvis tell us where you both were. No details needed! I just did the math.”

 

“Doesn't excuse you hiding in an airduct and spying.” Steve spoke up moving into the room and crossing his arms. He felt very exposed and not embarrassed but violated for Holly's sake. He was thankful that Jarvis would prevent Stark from using the cameras throughout the building to investigate for himself.

 

“Sorry Cap. Just figured I'd get a lay of the land before walking through the door like normal. You're a good guy and all, but my first concern is her. Always has been. I wanted to know what to expect.”

 

Holly's jaw was clenched as were her fists. “You have no fucking right! It's my damn life, Clint! And if I trust Steve, then you need to trust I know what I'm doing!” She threw her hands up in the air. “I can't believe you!” She walked a few steps away, a loud frustrated breath coming out her nose.

 

Barton moved and vaulted easily over the back of the couch. “Hey! Was I in the wrong? Yeah, probably. But I'm not going to let you get hurt if I can help it and you know that! After everything with Matt, you know I'm going to look out for you.” He bravely grabbed her arm and pulled her to look at him. “You can't be mad at me for caring.”

 

Steve was confused but at the same time, pieces fell into place. He thought back to the night they learned of Gabe's grandson being killed and their run in with the infamous Daredevil of Hell's Kitchen. He'd thought then that there had to be more to his relationship with Holly than just simply a metahuman lawyer from the split lip she gave him from a backhanded fist. How had he hurt her though?

 

“That was a long time ago, Clint. I know better now.” She growled but at the same time didn't look him in the eye. The pain Murdock caused was still here. Maybe embarrassment in that he'd been able to hurt her at all?

 

“Do you?”

 

“Hey, not to intrude, but I think that's her decision.” Steve moved forward to stand at Holly's side. This was supposed to be a nice romantic morning and it was being far from that at the moment. “And considering neither of us are dressed for company, I think it might be better if you continue this conversation later.”

 

“It's nothing I haven't seen before.” Clint said with a cocky smirk.

 

Holly rolled her eyes. “And you won't see again. Go.” The words sounded like their usual joking but he could hear the tone was completely different. They were both pretty angry. Holly at Barton's presumed right to invade her privacy in an effort to protect her and Barton for Holly being angry over his desire to protect her. A vicious circle.

 

“We aren't done.” The archer promised flatly, stepping for the door.

 

“Yeah, whatever. Go.”

 

 

It was quiet in the apartment after Clint left and Holly looked down at her feet, more than a little embarrassed by the whole thing. She should kick Clint's ass for bringing Matt up. What gave him the right? It wasn't so much that Matt had broken her heart but hadn't been able to understand how she couldn't be in the city after the Towers fell and wasn't willing to leave to be with her. Now he did but then, he'd been as understanding as a brick wall.

 

Slightly callused fingers gently tipped her face up. “Are you alright or do I need to knock Barton around a bit? Natasha won't mind.”

 

She smiled a little. “I'm okay. Just embarrassed. He's just overly protective and doesn't quite understand boundaries very well. Or at all. I'm sorry.”

 

“No need to apologize. I can understand his desire to make sure you are safe. He cares about you deeply, it's admirable. Can I assume the Matt he mentioned was Murdock?”

 

She nodded. “Yeah. We had a...thing after I closed the case on him for SHIELD. Then 9/11 happened and I didn't want to stay and he wasn't willing to leave. The city was more important to him than I was. So, yeah.”

 

“And he broke your heart.”

 

“Yeah. It was just one more thing on top of everything else.” She looked out the window toward the city. “I was surprised you didn't ask why I hit him when we ran into him back in November.”

 

“Not my business.” He said honestly. “That and you were under a great deal of emotional strain. I've learned not to question the motives of people when they feel like that.”

 

She nodded. “Like when you went alone to save Bucky from the factory. Utter insanity but to you right then it was the only thing that made sense to do.”

 

“Yeah. That's it.” He wrapped his arms around her from behind and she immediately leaned back against him. He took pride in being able to give her comfort so simply. “Come on. Let's finish breakfast, okay?” Then he looked up and spoke out to the room. “Jarvis, could you make sure we are given privacy? No more unexpected visitors?”

 

“Of course Captain. Miss Potts has already threatened Sir if he attempts to hack into my cameras and Dr. Banner has refused to assist him in the endeavor.”

 

Holly laughed. “Gotta love Pepper and Bruce.” She took the seat at the kitchen counter Steve pulled out for her. “I'm guessing Tony is losing his mind and ranting about me being corrupted by Steve?”

 

“In different words, yes. Agent Romanov may have made it worse by suggesting that you were doing the corrupting.”

 

Steve snorted, actually physically snorted as he went back to work on their breakfast. Thankfully he'd been near done when they'd been so rudely interrupted. “Sounds like Natasha.”

 

 


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback gives Hydra gas.

**Holly POV**

Holly was about to join everyone else on the Quinjet when a hand on her arm stopped her. Apparently Hydra wasn't taking New Years Day off and Coulson's people had gotten information about a weapons research facility near Chicago. Turning, she saw a rather serious looking Tony, suited up but without his helmet on. “Hey, what's up?”

 

“I didn't send Barton this morning, you know that, right?”

 

Holly was taken aback and wondered how much of this was Tony and how much of it was probably a very angry Pepper defending her fellow woman's right to privacy. “Yeah I know. He's perfectly capable of being an idiot without being told to.” She furrowed her brow. “What's this coming from?”

 

He shrugged as best he was able in the suit. “Something Bruce said. He asked me if I trusted Capsicle with your life out in the field and I said yes. So how could I not trust you to make the right decision off the field?” He waved his hand dismissively. “Something like that.”

 

Holly smiled, mentally thanking Bruce for being Tony's Jiminy Cricket. “He makes me happy, Tony. I care about him a lot.” That was a simplistic way of saying it that wouldn't creep out her now legally adopted brother. As much decadence as Tony used to engage in, like any older sibling, even adopted, he no doubt liked to believe she was as pure as the driven snow.

 

He sighed. “I know. I can see it. I might not like it, but I can see it. Hell, I could see the look in his eye right from the start.”

 

“Ony, is there anyone you think is good enough in your eyes for me?”

 

He smirked. “Nope. Pretty high pedestal. Need for oxygen, sherpas, the works.”

 

She laughed and leaned up to kiss his cheek. “Love you too big brother. Now come on, let's give Hydra a painful start to the New Year.”

 

The faceplate slid down and the eyes lit up. “Sounds good to me!”

 

**Steve POV**

Barton swept the stairwell they entered, not encountering any resistance and waved to Steve that everything was clear. He touched his earpiece and nodded to him to do the same. A private conversation was wanted while still being able to hear the others. “Cap, Steve....I guess we need to talk huh?”

 

“Might be a good idea. For Holly's sake.” Steve said with a nod as they cautiously made their way down the steps. He'd hoped maybe by forcing Barton to pair with him away from the others it might make the archer talk to him. He'd been silent enroute which had everyone off kilter, especially Holly.

 

He sighed and his shoulders dropped. “I know. It's just, when it comes to her and Nat, I tend to go caveman. You know? I've known her for 20 years almost. We've been through a lot of crap together. A ton really.”

 

Steve nodded. “I understand that. It's hard to think very clearly when it comes to someone you love.”

 

Barton stiffened a little, no doubt not expecting Steve to so easily recognize his feelings for Holly. He might have been frozen for 70 years but he wasn't blind. “Does that bother you?”

 

He shook his head. “No, actually, I see it as a good thing. You have to understand, Barton, I care about her too. And it makes me feel better if I know that as well as she can protect herself,” he quick threw his shield, knocking out a surveillance camera and caught it on the rebound. “As good a fighter as she is, the fact that she has you and Natasha and even Stark willing to do everything to keep her safe is a good thing.”

 

“I know I looked like an ass this morning. And it's not that I don't trust you. Hell, if I didn't, you wouldn't have had Nat as a partner while I was on leave after Loki, you know? I do trust you, Cap.”

 

“I appreciate that, Barton.”

 

“It's just, the idea of her getting hurt again makes me crazy. I'm guessing you figured out about Murdock?”

 

Steve nodded as they turned a corner to find another empty hallway. They paused for a moment before continuing on. “I guessed and she told me. How he wouldn't leave New York to be with her after the towers.”

 

“Asshole wouldn't even leave NY to see her in London after she was shot! And he claimed to love her.” Barton growled, aggressively taking a corner and finding no targets. “Holly was willing to come back to NY to help Tasha save me.” He clenched his jaw. “That's love.”

 

They walked down the hallway together in silence, coming upon a large room filled with empty tables and chairs. Barton crouched low while he checked the corners. Still nothing.

 

“Yes it is.” He agreed once they both indicated the room was clear. When exactly were they going to encounter anything Hydra related? This was way too much like Bavaria. “And we all can do extreme things in the name of love. Holly told me no details but said that you had been willing to die to save her in Uganda. That's love too.”

 

Barton stopped short and turned. “She....she told you about that?”

 

“No details, Barton. What you two shared then and share now is none of my business. Just like what Holly and I have now is none of yours beyond what either of us is willing to share. I care about her very much. She makes me happy. Maybe for the first time since the ice.”

 

Barton was quiet as he took that in, letting out a breath through his nose. “Yeah. I've noticed. So has Tasha. It goes both ways.” Then he stepped forward and looked Steve right in the eyes. “But I swear on all things holy, you hurt her and I won't even have to touch my bow. Nat will get to you first.”

 

Steve nodded, knowing the archer wasn't even close to kidding. He knew how close the two women who had such a hold on Barton were. He'd probably never even see Natasha coming. “That much I'm assured of. Believe me, I only want to be good to her. Make her happy.”

 

Barton searched his eyes for a moment with his own that were naturally super soldier sharp and then took a step back. “So are ya gonna take her out like a gentleman then? Isn't that what they did in your day?”

 

Steve chuckled. “Damn SHIELD training. Yes, I was just trying to think of where to go.”

 

**Holly POV**

“So who ended up winning the bet?” Holly asked after long minutes as she made her way through the suspected Hydra base with Natasha at her side, Tony covering things from the air while Steve and Clint entered from the roof. Her communicator was on hearing only so they could talk privately. Jarvis was a smart AI, he'd know when to turn things back on.

 

“Me, of course.”

 

“Not surprised. Was Tony in on it?” She stopped and held out the hand that wasn't holding her lightsaber. “Wait, stupid question. He started it.”

 

A smirk graced Natasha's lips. “Believe me, I think he's starting to wish he hadn't been right about you two. Pepper is over the moon.”

 

Holly chuckled. Pepper was an undying romantic. She was always trying to convince Natasha and Clint to go on a double date with her and Tony. That would happen right after she joined Hydra and became a nudist. “That's not a surprise either.” She silently waved to Natasha, signaling there were two guards ahead of them but facing away. A raise of the eyebrow asked, do you want?

 

Natasha waved it off, signing the next ones were hers.

 

Holly shrugged and crept up behind the guards, putting her saber in it's holster just before putting her hands palm flat against the back of their necks and shocking them enough to knock them out but not permanently damage them. They looked like low level thugs, not the normal Hydra zealots. They looked like enforcers she'd encountered with Matt back in the Kitchen.

 

Once they were on the ground, Jarvis flashed on her contacts that her mic to the group was back on. “Boys, we just got two guards. They had a bit of a shock and are sleeping it off. Coulson, want to send in a couple of your kids to pick them up? Doubt they know anything, they look like two bit thugs.”

 

A frustrated sigh came over the comm. “Skywalker, please stop calling my agents kids.”

 

She grinned to Natasha who had a smirk on her lips at the sound of frustration they had often been the cause of coming from their former handler. “I call them like I see them. Cap, any activity by you?”

 

“Negative Skywalker. Looks like you ladies are having all the fun. Tony, anything up there?”

 

“Nothing but my ultimate Sudoku. Coulson, seriously, this is a waste of time.”

 

“If there were guards, there's potentially something to guard, Stark.”

 

“Or it's a lure to get us all in the building and then boom.” Clint spoke up. “We do have a rather bad record with traps and bombs here....right Nat?”

 

“Blow it out your ass, bird boy. It was one time.”

 

The comm overlapped with nearly everyone calling out a different time they'd experienced an explosion in her presence. Even May piped in, bringing up that time in Bogota. Natasha's lips thinned to near nonexistence and Holly had to clap a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing outloud. They weren't wrong. She could name at least 3 incidents in the first 6 months she'd known the Russian. And she'd known her how long now?

 

“Come on people, cut the chatter. Let's continue on to the meeting point. Keep your eyes peeled. Skywalker, are your contacts picking up anything? I'm assuming you can scan with them?”

 

“Yes sir, Cap. I'm not getting anything. No heat, no electronics, nothing. I'll keep you updated.”

 

“Good. Let's finish this up.”

 

Once the comms were off, Natasha was smirking with her arms crossed. “Yes sir? Were you saying that last night? I might have underestimated the old man.”

 

Holly snorted and flipped off the redhead. “Whatever.”

 

“Come on, you have to give me something I can lord over Clint. I had to listen to him whine about you walking around half naked in Steve's dress shirt and nearly pulling his hair out.”

 

Now it was Holly's turn to smirk. “He deserved more. He was lucky.”

 

“That you got lucky? Yes, he was. I told him not to do his airduct bullshit, but he doesn't listen.”

 

“Never has.” She shook her head as they silently scouted their way around a corner before continuing on. “He's so fucking stubborn.”

 

“Hello pot, may I introduce kettle?”

 

Holly sighed and flipped off her friend again. “I know you aren't going to defend what he pulled.”  
  


“No, I'm not. But you understand his reasoning right?”

 

“That I'm a delicate little girl who has to be protected from anyone with a penis?”

 

Natasha shook her head. “Think about it. Despite everything we tried to keep you in SHIELD, Murdock determined to stay in NY and begging you to stay, you left. For years. Then Cap shows up and in the same day, you are enroute to Bavaria, suiting up as Lady Skywalker again.”

 

Holly stopped. “Wait. What? You know why I left, why I couldn't stay in SHIELD or NY.”

 

“And what changed exactly? It wasn't Stark's becoming Iron Man or Thor showing up. It wasn't Loki or Coulson's death or the fall of SHIELD. What factor caused you to just decide to come back?”

 

“Natasha, I didn't come back because of Steve. You were there in the diner! He was angry that Tony wasn't giving me a choice but to go.” Holly hated the fact that not only was Natasha very intelligent but she was very good at getting into people's heads and motivations. But she was wrong this time. Wasn't she?

 

“And yet, it wasn't until you met him that you came back. You know what the exact moment I knew you were coming back? Come on, you're the profiler.”

 

Holly sighed. Right now she felt like the profiled. “When Coulson told us we were going to Castle Kaufmann.”

 

Natasha touched her nose with the tip of a finger in a very Clint-esque manner. “I saw it in your eyes when you made the realization where we were going and what that meant for Steve and how quickly you followed after him.”

 

They started walking again, covering each other as they pried open an elevator and attached to the cables to go up rather than use the cars and cause attention to themselves. “So what you're saying is that Clint is jealous?”

 

“Deep down, yes. I'll admit it stings a bit that you came back when you did and not before.”

 

They climbed out onto the new floor and Holly shook her head. “Hey! That's not fair. I was enroute to NY for the fight with Loki and offered to come out before that to help save Clint! Hell, I wanted to go after Tony in Afghanistan! I was there for the Hammer-bots too! And I flew to DC during the fall of SHIELD to protect Peggy. I wasn't hiding in a bunker, Natasha!”

 

The redhead held up her hands in submission, a rare feat for most people when it came to the infamous Black Widow. “Fair enough. I'm not saying it's a perfect jealousy. Clint's protective of you, of both of us even though he doesn't need to be. You know why.”

 

Holly was quiet for a long time. “I'm not dismissing Uganda. Or anything the three of us have been through. But I'm not a kid anymore. I'm not bleeding in an abandoned London underground or a heartbroken over a blind in more ways than one lawyer. Clint doesn't know Steve as well as you and I do, albeit different ways. He's the last person that would hurt me.”

 

“I know that. Why do you think I won the pool?” Natasha held up her hand, having taken point and signed that the guards ahead of them were definitely Hydra. They were taken down before they even had a chance to know there was a threat. “Just the same, think about things from his point of view. Do you have any idea how badly he wanted to go after Murdock for what he pulled?”

 

They turned over the unconscious Hydra agents and rifled their pockets for any potential information as well as confiscating their weapons. “You mean still wants to go after Matt?”

 

Natasha shrugged. “I offered to introduce him to a Widow Bite when he wouldn't come to London after you were shot. Your brother told me no.”

 

“And you listened?” She raised a brow. Even Eddie didn't have that much control over Natasha.

 

She smirked. “Your dad said he wasn't worth it. Funny how right he turned out to be.”

 

Holly nodded. Her father had never been a big fan of Matt, especially after London but mostly because he refused to leave the city for anything. Her father hadn't been a fan of myopic vision. Or having personal conversations with unconscious targets at your feet. Oops.

 

Nat touched her ear to open her mic after Holly pointed to the men at their feet. Time to focus. “Okay boys, finally found some Hydra agents. Might want to start heading for our location if this is where they are starting to put what they consider to be trained agents.”

 

“Let me guess, Tasha. 3 seconds?”

 

“Roughly. Happy New Year.”

 

 

**Holly POV**

Steve pulled off his cowl in time to catch the bottle of water that Holly tossed to him as Clint caught the other with ease. “Thanks doll. That was a good fight. Think the intel will amount to anything?” The Hydra base had been well guarded but not well enough against the Avengers.

 

“We can only hope. It was Clint who saved it. What's that arrowhead anyway?”

 

“Liquid memory foam. Fitzsimmons are working on opening it.” He said flatly, walking away to the farthest couch and flopping down, putting the back of the flight couch between him and the rest of the people. Hydra had pulled their usual trick of using explosives to try and destroy information they didn't want to be confiscated. Too bad it was the only trick they could think of these days.

 

Holly sighed. Clint had been near silent the entire time to Chicago and had only spoken to Natasha on the comm during the mission. He hadn't even looked at her when he responded and he'd only spoken to her because she had directly addressed him “I'm sorry, if I don't talk to him now, he'll be impossible.”

 

Steve nodded, understanding. “We had a bit of a man to man chat, before the fight. Go easy on him. He's a good man, he means well.”

 

She smiled. Only Steve would defend the guy who had been spying on him after a romantic interlude with his former lover. She had a feeling that a talk had been Steve's motive behind pairing himself with the moody archer. She leaned up and kissed his cheek, keeping it chaste for anyone around them. “I'll do my best.”

 

“Hey, once we get back and everything. Would you, I mean, if you want, we could go out? You know, dinner?”

 

She full out grinned at how awkward and adorable he was, still in his uniform, asking her out even though they'd gotten very intimate only hours earlier. His hair was mussed, much like it had been this morning but this time from removing his cowl, not from her fingers. “Why, Captain, are you asking me out?”

 

“Come on Holly, don't tease. I didn't know how to do this in my time, hell if I know how to in yours.”

 

She took two steps closer and rested her hands on his chest, looking up into his impossibly blue eyes. She spoke softly, just for them. “Hey, it's not my time. It's ours. Okay? Our time.”

 

He nodded, resting one of his hands over hers.

 

“And I would love to go out tonight. Anywhere in particular?”

 

“Jarvis suggested a seafood place in Brooklyn. I thought maybe food first then just see what catches our attention?”

 

“That sounds perfect.”  
  


 

 

She flopped down on the couch by Clint's head. “You are being a child, you know.” She said with a sigh, taking a drink of water. She hated that sooty feeling in her throat whenever explosions were involved. When he didn't respond, she used her contacts to see that his hearing aids were powered off. Scratch that. He was being a fucking baby. She was tempted to dump her water on his head, but thought better of it. She was going to be the adult.

 

He knew she was there so instead of anything violent or angry, she simply and very gently ran her hand through his hair. It was an old comforting gesture for both of them, a way to wind down after a tough mission or a trying day. She did what Nat had asked and concentrated on trying to remember that Clint only ever acted for her best interest, even if he didn't do it in the best way. As angry as he'd made her that morning, she could never stay angry at him. After everything they'd gone through, it was near impossible.

 

He sighed and hesitantly moved so his head was resting on her thigh and she smiled a little, continuing the gentle stroking of his hair. His hands raised and he signed very simply. _“I'm sorry.”_

 

She's thought so. He'd pulled away because he thought she was still angry at him. Sadly, it was something he'd learned from his early childhood with his abusive father. It was something that he shared with Bruce and even Tony, though Howard had only been emotionally abusive. She tapped his shoulder twice. They had to talk.

 

He sighed again and sat up, resting his elbows on his knees for a moment before turning to look at her with almost sad resigned eyes. The situation was really bothering him. _Are you still mad?_ He signed.

 

 _I was very angry at you this morning. But I understand now. I've been thinking about it and Nat and I had a long talk. So no, I'm not mad still._ She signed back to him.

 

When Clint was anxious, he tended to sign very fast, much like a hearing person would talk faster. Thankfully she was used to his phrasing and was able to follow. _I'm still sorry. I was completely out of line. But I swear, when it comes to you and Tasha, I don't think straight. I've never been able to. All I can see is the look on your face after what Murdock did to you. I could see your heart just shattered. I can't stand seeing you hurt, emotionally or otherwise._

 

That much she knew very much. He'd turned off his hearing aids the day Peggy died so he couldn't hear her cry. And that protective streak was what had Natasha doing everything she could to save him from Loki's influence. She remembered talking to the Russian before the attack on the helicarrier and telling her to do everything and more to bring their boy home. You bring him home, Natasha. As much as Clint was mistrustful of anyone outside the two of them, she and Natasha felt the same about anyone regarding him. It was just the way Delta worked.

 

 _Do you think we think straight when it comes to you? I was on my way to NY to help Natasha save you. I didn't even think of it being New York or that aliens were attacking or anything. All I could think is that you needed your girls.”_ She signed back to him. _But I need you to trust me to make decisions for myself too, love. Talk to me if you're worried. Don't spy on me. Please.”_

 

He was quick to sign back, signing over her and following what she was saying. _I always need my girls. Always. And I do trust you. I do. It's everyone else besides Nat that I don't._

 

_Does it bother you that I came back after meeting Steve? Nat and I were talking about it and she said it stung that after so long, it's only then that I came back._

 

He paused a moment. _I won't lie to you. It did hurt a little but I think it was more because of Coulson and Stark that you came back. And you felt an obligation to Cap, considering where we were going. You were doing what you knew was right. And I know you were nearly back in when Stark was taken and when Loki messed with my head.”_

 

 _None of any of this changes how I feel about you, Clint. You know that._ She watched as his jaw clenched and even so, a sigh of relief came from him. Part of her hated his father, long gone, for putting that fear of being rejected into his son like that. She signed further. _I still love you, asshole. That won't ever change. Ever._

 

He smirked before signing back. _I love you too, songbird._ Then he all but tackled her to the couch, blowing a raspberry against her neck and making her laugh.

 

**Steve POV**

Steve watched from where he sat as Holly and Clint signed back and forth, often at the same time and so quickly, he wondered how either of them understood what the other was saying. Apparently Barton had turned off his hearing aids.

 

“Want me to translate?” Natasha asked, plopping down next to him.

 

“No, no thanks. It's as private a conversation as they can really get at the moment.” He noticed Barton had stopped signing for a moment and then when Holly stopped, he clenched his jaw and she signed something that seemed familiar. “I think I know that sign.” He watched as Barton repeated it, slightly different. “When Peggy passed.” He thought about what it could be. After his chat with the man, he had a feeling there was only one thing it could be. “I love you?”

 

Natasha nodded, smirking a little as Barton then out of nowhere tackled Holly out of view and the sound of her laughter filled the Quinjet. He loved that sound. So unrestrained and free. “She said, I still love you, asshole. That won't ever change. Ever And he said, I love you too, songbird.” She looked to Steve with curious eyes. “Doesn't bother you?”

 

“No, should it? There were different kinds of love in the 40s too, you know.”

 

Natasha snickered. “Steve, you are constantly surprising me. Now, do I need to warn you what I'll gladly do if you break her heart?”

 

Steve shook his head, a touch of a smile on his lips. He should have started a pool on how many threats he'd get about not hurting Holly. He was just waiting for Stark to say something. All Banner had done was clap him on the shoulder and congratulate him. “No, because it won't happen. And Barton already warned me that he probably wouldn't even get to his bow before you found me. I'm glad she has you, both of you.”

 

She nodded, looking over to where Holly was using her ability to play keep away with Clint's bow and laughing as he tried jumping for it. “We're kind of a set.”

 


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a little Holly/Steve chapter....please please please comment if you like it!

**Holly POV**

Holly checked her appearance in the mirror one more time before going to her apartment door where Jarvis had acted as a doorbell, announcing Steve's arrival. Nevermind that he knew he could walk right in, he was being a gentleman and more so, treating this like he would have treated a date in the 1940s. This was going to be fun.

 

Answering the door, she was met with a bouquet of wildflowers and an almost bashful looking Steve. How strange that he was this nervous about a date considering he'd been naked in her bed this morning. And hopefully tonight too if she had anything to do about it. He was dressed semi-formally in that he was wearing a suit but without a tie. “Well hello there.”

 

“Hi Holly.” He greeted. “These are for you.” He paused, taking her in. “Wow. You look amazing.”

 

She looked down at herself, honestly feeling a little self conscious at the dress she was wearing. It wasn't even close to formal, just a simple cocktail dress that she'd found in a little shop near the university back in California. She hadn't ever worn it and somehow, it ended up being perfect for tonight. “Thanks. I don't wear dresses very often.”

 

“You should. I mean, you look really great.”

 

She smiled and leaned forward to press a soft kiss to his lips. “Thank you. And breathe Steve. You don't have to impress me. I'm already impressed with you, remember?”

 

He sighed, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I'm a mess with this kind of thing. It was more of Bucky's expertise.”

 

“Sweetheart, you are far from a mess. Come on in. I'll put these in water and then we'll go. I like the suit. How hard was it to forgo the tie?”

 

He chuckled as he closed the door behind him and followed her to the kitchen. “You know me too well. It wasn't easy. I actually had it on and Bruce came by and suggested to go without. I have to keep remembering people don't dress up for everything now. Or anything really.”

 

She took down a vase from the cabinet and put a bit of water in it before arranging the bouquet enough so it would get water. She'd take it out of it's wrapping later. “I always liked that, in the movies how all the men were in suits and the women in dresses. I guess it's different priorities.”

 

He shrugged. “I guess so.” He held out his arm for her and she took it and he lead the way out of her apartment. “I think we're both going to like the place Jarvis found. It's a family owned seafood place. It's kind of small but it's supposed to be very well regarded.”

* * *

 

“It still feels like the night is young.” Steve stood to the side to let Holly into the elevator first. Their date, their first technically had been fantastic. Holly couldn't remember ever being treated so well. Steve was incredibly easy to talk to, that was something she knew well from the last few months. But now, it was different. There was an ease. He was much more relaxed and more open. She couldn't help but read that in his eyes, in his posture, everything. “Holly?”

 

“Oh, sorry. I was thinking.” She kicked herself for getting lost in her head thinking about the man standing right in front of her. “Yeah, it's still kind of early.”

 

His hand slipped into hers. “You thinking about those kids?”

 

They'd taken a walk after dinner, talking about their respective childhoods and how somethings were universal, no matter what era you were from. There'd been a group of kids and they'd been recognized. Teenage boys, so their behavior wasn't really that much of a shock. Of course, she was still getting used to people actually knowing she was a mutant. One of the kids yelled “Way to go Cap! She's hot for a mutie!”

 

She'd actually had to tighten her hold on Steve's hand, put her other hand on his arm and use a bit of her ability to keep him from going over to the kids. “No, sweetheart. They were kids, it doesn't matter. Actually, I was thinking about the handsome man I had a romantic date with.”

 

He gave her a half smile as the doors closed and he hesitated for just a moment before pushing the number for his floor and letting his hand drop. “I thought maybe we could watch a movie or something. They don't really call it a nightcap anymore, do they?”

 

She chuckled, loving how he was trying not to look like he was expecting more from the date just because of the night before. “I think they do actually but since I don't drink, I think we can go with a movie or something.” She moved to stand in front of him, taking both his hands in hers. “You don't have to be so worried about offending me or anything, Steve. I'm a big girl.”

 

He sighed. “I know. It's just the little I knew about dating isn't really useful anymore. I'm flying by the seat of my pants here.” He gave her hands a gentle squeeze. “I'm still expecting to wake up any minute in some foxhole or a tent with men yelling around me that we are under attack.” He looked down and back up. “The war feels like it was yesterday and moments like this, like last night with you...” He trailed off and she waited, knowing he needed to get this out. “It's stupid but it scares me to be this....happy. It's like a dream. I don't want to lose this. I don't think I've been this happy since I don't know when.”

 

She had no words so she simply let go of his hands and pulled him down into a kiss. He was quick to respond, his arms wrapping around her easily. She tried to pour all the words she wished she had into that kiss and somehow she felt like Steve understood as his arms tightened around her.

 

Soon enough, oxygen became an issue and they pulled apart just enough to breathe. She stroked his cheek with her fingertips, amazed that this wonderful man could find happiness with her of all people. A woman who'd had too many ugly days filled with ugly people and uglier acts. Nat would talk of her ledger and the red in it and Holly knew her own ledger was no less red. But here she was, in the arms of a man who had effectively changed the world because he was adamant that he could do his part for his nation and because he wasn't going to stand by and let the bullies win.

 

She kissed him again softly before searching his eyes, trying to think of what to say. It was strange how emotional she was feeling just from Steve telling her about how happy she made him. “It's not stupid to be scared, Steve. Ever. It's instinct. It means you know what's important to you, what you don't want to lose.” She swallowed, not wanting to get her words jumbled or do something intensely embarrassing, like cry. “You aren't going to wake up in that foxhole or that tent. In time, the war won't feel like yesterday. And I can't promise you won't ever wake up to find out we're under attack because that's pretty much in the job description.” She was rewarded with a small smile for that. “But I'll be right there with you. That I promise.”

 

“So....does that officially make you my girl, then?”

 

She giggled, Steve was actually pretending to be coy and was coy at the same time. “Officially, yes.” She turned her head to see that they were on Steve's floor and probably had been for a while. “We probably should get off the elevator at some point tonight.”

 

He chuckled and they separated before the doors opened and they stepped out onto Steve's floor.

 

**Steve POV**

Steve woke up slowly, feeling very good and relaxed. It took him a second to realize what had woken him up. He had a pretty decent internal clock and when he actually wasn't in the middle of a fight or home late from one, tended to get up with the sun. The other times, he would be woken by Jarvis.

 

This time, it was the smell of bacon and coffee.

 

Turning his head, he saw he was alone in the bed except for a piece of paper. “You snore like a howitzer. My turn for breakfast.”

 

He snorted, knowing that he didn't snore. Mostly because he actually physically couldn't. Before the serum, he'd tended to wheeze in the night if he slept completely flat and post serum, any issues with his septum or his lungs was fixed. He wondered if she'd left the note so he wouldn't panic to find her not there. They'd never actually got to the point of watching a movie and had instead fallen into his bed. He was too old fashioned to admit it, but being with her again had been on his mind pretty much since he'd gotten out of her bed the morning before to start breakfast. He hoped that today would be a quiet one that they could just spend together.

 

Clothing optional.

 

Pulling on a pair of pajama pants because he just wasn't the kind of person to walk around naked, he made his way into the kitchen. He couldn't help but feel his heart swell to see Holly, in his dress shirt from the night before and just the dress shirt, cooking and singing to herself. He was pretty sure he hadn't seen her this happy since before they lost Peggy and Trip. Christmas had been the beginnings of seeing her make her way out of her grief, but now he could physically see the difference.

 

How much of that was because of their new relationship?

 

“How is it that my clothes look better on you then they do on me?” He asked as he came up behind her much like she had the morning before and wrapped his arms around her waist. She had a massive amount of bacon already cooked and a plate full of eggs.

 

“Because you look better naked. Duh.” She said with a giggle. “Grab a plate. I was about to wake you up.”

 

He kissed her temple before moving for the kitchen counter, taking the opportunity to give her butt a pinch. “That's for saying I snore.”

 

She jumped and laughed outloud. “What did you want me to write?”

 

“Nothing, you could have just woken me up.”

 

She gave him a smirk as she handed him a plate full of food. “Yeah and then we still wouldn't be having breakfast, just burning more calories.”

 

“And that would be a bad thing how?”

 

“Ooh! Very nice answer. Rather sexy, you being all carnal and everything.”

 

He rolled his eyes, waiting for her to take her own seat across from him with her own heaping plate before he spoke. “It's all your fault. I used to be innocent. A symbol of hope and purity and the American Way.”

 

“If the American Way is being a bullshit artist, then sure.” She giggled, waving a piece of bacon at him before popping it in her mouth. “Purity and innocence, right. That's why we have to try and figure out a way to fix your bed without anyone finding out we broke it in the first place.”

 

That nearly made him choke on his eggs. That hadn't been something he'd expected and Holly's ringing laughter had only made him laugh too. “Well at least I wasn't the one who had expected us to break the bed!”

 

She giggled, shaking her head. “Okay, okay, I'll concede that.”

 


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of romance and then a surprise. Please keep in mind that this story goes off canon after Captain America: Winter Soldier. For this fic, Civil War most definitely did NOT happen.

**Holly POV**

Holly knocked on the door that led to Steve's apartment. He technically shared the floor with Thor, but since the Asgardian was rarely ever at the tower, Steve had the floor to himself. A muffled invitation to come on in came through and she opened the unlocked door and stepped inside. Steve's apartment was on the same side of the building that hers was, just above it.

 

The last couple weeks had been great since they had started “dating”. To be honest, even she wasn't sure if that's what it was called anymore. They spent as much time together as they could and despite what the girls had teased at lunch the day before, not all of it was naked.

 

Mostly.

 

Steve didn't have to try very hard to be a good boyfriend, a title that made him laugh. “I'm a cliché now. A man in his nineties dating a woman 60 years my junior. It's a scandal!”

 

It wasn't so much a scandal though the media had been having a field day with it. The tabloids and more than one news show had covered their relationship though none of them knew details like when it began or how serious. Most of it was positive though there were some Friends of Humanity who'd declared Steve a traitor to humanity for dating a mutant. A few people had brought up the fact that she was related to Dum Dum and even theorized that she was an obsessed fangirl because she'd written a book about Steve and the Howling Commandos.

 

And a reporter had been dumb enough to ask Steve about that when he'd been out, trying to buy flowers to surprise her with. The question asked, Steve's face changed and the reporter took a half step back. “First of all, my dating life is no one's business except for me and the person I'm dating. Second of all, you don't know her, so in the future, it's Dr. Baylor. Show respect. Third, that book, which is very good and impartial despite her relationship to Corporal Dugan and Director Carter. She also wrote it roughly 10 years before I was found. So anyone claiming she wrote it to earn my attention is a fool. Now excuse me.”

 

Needless to say, she did what she'd wanted to do after he'd told off the other reporter who'd asked if he trusted a mutie in the tower. He had barely made it in the door of his apartment before she was leaping into his arms.

 

Looking around that apartment now, she could see it was very much a reflection of the man himself. It was conservative, but not boring. Simple, but classy. It was similar to hers in that it was a wide open space, Tony or probably Pepper taking into account that Steve would probably prefer wide open spaces considering how long he spent frozen in the belly of Schmitt's bomber. The furniture was functional, but the sofa was plush. There were nearly as many books has she had with a bit more variety to them, including quite a bit more in terms of art. He kept his shield on the wall, next to his stealth shield and original shield that was kept by Howard Stark and found by his son years later. She'd always remember the look on Steve's face when he saw it again. Tony had outdone himself at Christmas when he'd given it to Steve on Asgard.

 

He had an area for his art, experimenting with different medias but tending to focus more on drawing than anything else. She stepped over to where he'd decided to put up a selection of photos much like her own, the center being that of the three pictures she'd given him for Christmas. She'd looked at the selection more than once since Steve tended to change it up a bit more than she ever changed hers. Nearby was the photo Pepper had taken of Steve hugging her in thanks, the look of bliss on her face ironic considering what had happened a week later. She had her own copy framed in her apartment.

 

There were old stock pictures of the Commandos and a shadow box with his father's pocketwatch, no longer working but kept for the picture of Peggy inside of it, clipped from a report somewhere. Somehow it hadn't been ruined in the last 70 years. Like he had with Dum Dum's framed bowler, she touched the glass, silently sending her love to her Mom, who she hoped was living it up wherever one went when they died.

 

Steve had also framed some of his artwork, that focusing on his friends. Including copies of the drawings he'd given all of them for Christmas, there were many more. There was one of Sam aka the Falcon, mid leap into the air, wings extended. Another of Bucky, a look of recognition in his eyes, his hair windblown from the damage done to the helicarrier they had fought on. There was one of Pepper with Bruce, the two laughing about something. Another of Natasha with a true smile on her face, looking lovingly at a laughing Clint. It made her smile and she wondered if the pair had either seen it or requested a copy for their own quarters. Another showed a proud Thor, posing with Lady Sif and the Warriors 3. She remembered being able to watch him draw that one, amazed at his skill. Queen Frigga had been impressed as well and used her magic to make duplicates, including one for herself and Odin to hang beside the drawing of the royal family he had done.

 

She stopped short when she came to two that happened to be about her specifically. One was a drawing of her performance from Christmas, dressed in red and gold with the arc reactor necklace Tony had given her to wear. She was mid song, eyes closed and a happy smile on her face. She was impressed with the detail but a bit...surprised at the way it was done with the background all faded to make it look like she was the only thing in focus that night. With the way he drew her body, her curves and lips especially, she wondered just how much the resident artist had watched her.

 

The other was of her in full Lady Skywalker mode, her robe blown out as she held herself in a defensive stance with her lightsaber ignited and ready for a battle. Her saber was in one hand, high above her while the other was held in a fist. What made the picture special was that she was apparently preparing to fight alongside Peggy, depicted as she must have looked the last time Steve saw her before he crashed in the North Atlantic, holding a Tommy gun with a determined look on her face. She'd always wondered what it would have been like to have fought with Peggy in her prime. Holly couldn't help but smile but broke out into a full grin when her contacts allowed her to look closer and saw that two words had been written but not erased as fully as Steve thought. Very faintly, she could see in careful script “My girls”.

 

It made her smile, especially when she noted the date, all his art was dated and signed in the corner. One would expect he'd have drawn it sometime recently, considering the new relationship, but no. It was drawn weeks earlier. He hadn't been kidding when he said he'd been thinking of her as his girl for a while now.

 

“Do you like it?”

 

She didn't jump when Steve murmured in her ear, his arms wrapping around her waist from behind. She had caught a wiff of his Ivory soap mere seconds before he spoke. She leaned back against his chest as his arms tightened just a bit more around her. “I love it. It's wonderful.” She paused and then murmured. “You could have kept the My Girls, you know.”

 

She turned in his arms, knowing his cheeks would be bright red. “Damn those contacts.”

 

She giggled and kissed him softly. “Come on, I wanted to see if you wanted to go out for lunch. My treat!”

 

“And you honestly thought I'd turn down a lunch date?”

 

“No, but it's still nice to ask.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Holly, are you sure about doing this alone? I can still contact Captain Rogers or Sir. Perhaps Director Coulsen?”

 

No matter what anyone said, no one would ever be able to convince her that Jarvis wasn't a true consciousness. His overriding concern for her safety, as well as that of the others was proof. It wasn't part of a program, it was who he was.

 

“Jarvis, honey, I need to do this alone. We might be wrong and do you really want to see that disappointment on Steve's face? I know I don't. Especially after losing Peggy not even 2 months ago. Besides, tomorrow is the anniversary of when he fell from the train. I'm not putting Steve through any more than he will put himself through tomorrow if Bucky isn't here.”

 

With the anniversary closing in, she'd seen a change in Steve, though he pretended to be fine around everyone. She wasn't fooled. Neither were Nat or Pepper and both had inquired as to how the search for Steve's long lost best friend was going. She'd honestly hadn't been focusing on it, a bit distracted. But seeing the sadness in Steve's eyes that he couldn't hide had made her go into overdrive on the search. Not only did she have Jarvis assisting but Penelope at the BAU had been a godsend along with the rest of the team in figuring out where he could be or where he would go.

In the end, it had been the simplest answer and she hoped the right one.

 

Standing across the street from the apartment building that had been where Steve and Bucky had spent most of their childhood, she felt a bit stupid that she hadn't come here first. She'd had to remind herself that it wasn't just a historical landmark and former museum, it had been home for the two Brooklyn men. Hopefully the memories of home had led the lost army sniper here.

 

“I would counter that if we are correct and Sergeant Barnes is finding refuge inside, he could be a threat. There is a strong possibility that he is irrevocably damaged from what was done to him by Hydra for the last 75 years. There is no reliable data on what that kind of treatment can do to the human brain.”

 

“Point taken. Would you then argue that Steve should have never been thawed? Or that instead of subduing Clint after Loki, he should have been locked up? What about what the Red Room did to Natasha?” She paused, the AI silent. “How about this? Monitor via my grafts and my contacts. If anything seems off, we'll leave. If you feel I am in danger, call for back up. Okay?”

 

There was a long pause. “I reluctantly agree.”

 

“Thank you Jarvis.”

* * *

 

 

Holly stopped walking and held her hands out to her sides. Here went nothing, or everything. She hoped with everything in her that she wouldn't have to fight Steve's childhood friend. “You don't need to sneak up on me, I'm not here to hurt you or rob you. I'm here as a friend.”

 

“You don't know me. I don't have friends. Turn around.”

 

The soft but determined tone surprised her, she had expected a more gravely voice. Then again, part of her mind still identified Bucky Barnes as one of her uncles, even though he had been presumed dead. She realized that despite knowing that he was roughly her age physically, part of her expected him to be old.

 

She slowly turned, hands out. Using her training, she managed not to react to actually seeing Bucky Barnes in the flesh, his eyes narrowed and determined. He wasn't clean shaven, but didn't have a beard so he had been shaving. His hair was long and unkempt, but clean. That told her that at least he was capable of taking care of himself. He looked a touch too thin and part of her wondered how he had been eating. She doubted he'd gone to a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen, he would have potentially stood out. Had he been stealing? If so, it was doubtful he could safely steal enough to fulfill his super soldier metabolism. Or was it due to traumatic stress and not being able to fight the nightmares to go search for food or have an appetite?

 

“My name is Holly Dugan. You served with my Uncle Dum Dum in the War. Do you remember him?”

 

He clearly hadn't been expecting her to say that. “I remember Dum Dum. You could be lying.” He almost growled, clenching his jaw. “Everyone lies.”

 

“I'm not lying. I can prove it. Look at my eyes. I have the Dugan eyes. My father was Dum Dum's little brother. He would tell the Commandos that when you defeated Schmitt, you would hottail it over to the Pacific to help out Baby Liam. He was always worrying about my dad.”

 

A twitch. He hadn't expected her to be able to back up her claim. She'd made sure to think of something obscure, trusting that thanks to his training, Bucky knew how easily a person's identity could be faked.

 

“How about this? Ask me a question, anything. I'll be honest and tell you whatever you want to know as best I can.” Then giving him the opportunity to test her would prove her resolve. You didn't give that option unless you were completely confident you could pass.

 

The jaw clenched again. He wasn't used to being given a choice or being talked to like a person and not a weapon. That would have broken Dum Dum's heart. He'd always spoken so fondly of Bucky Barnes, having known him longer than he'd even known Steve. “What did he call me?”

 

“Pretty Boy Jim.”

 

A flinch.

 

“You're too young. Liam couldn't be your father.”

 

“I was a surprise baby. I was born in 1980. I'm 35 years old. I know I look younger. I have a weaker dose of the Super Soldier serum in my veins.”

 

He stepped back. Did he assume it was because of Hydra? “How?”

 

“I was an agent of SHIELD. Dum Dum and my father, along with Peggy Carter, Colonel Philips and Howard Stark founded it. My brother and mother were both agents. My father served as director for 20 years.”

 

“Why are you here? You alone?”

 

She nodded. “I came looking for you. No one thought to look here. I made a promise that I'd find you and bring you home.”

 

His brow furrowed as if the concept eluded him. “Home?”

 

“Yes, home. I have friends to help and a safe place for you to live and heal. Please let me help you. That's all I want to do and it entirely up to you. Your choice. You say no and I'll leave.”

 

He hesitated. He hadn't expected her to be willing to walk away, though she really wasn't. If he said no, she'd simply make use of the surveillance equipment she'd stashed in the building across the street and call in Steve. “Who....who did you promise?”

 

* * *

 

“Okay, he's here. Can you stay here? I didn't tell him why I needed him to come so I need to go prepare him, alright?”

 

Bucky nodded, looking nervous, a touch hopeful and more than a little apprehensive. She was probably one of the first people he'd attempted at trusting in years. Decades. There was no way in hell she was going to risk damaging that tiny bit of trust he had left.

 

“Please trust me, okay? He's going to be so happy to see you.”

 

He nodded again. “Go.”

 

She headed downstairs and stepped outside just in time to nearly collide into Steve's chest.

 

“Holly! Christ! What the hell is going on? What are you doing down here? You want me to see something in my old building?”

 

She gave him a smile and put her hands on his chest. She knew he'd sense something was off, no matter how she'd worded her message. “Steve, you trust me, don't you?” That seemed to be the theme of the day.

 

His brow furrowed. “Of course, doll. You know I do.”

 

“Okay. Then trust me when I tell you that what I brought you here for is something very good. I just had to look for myself first, rather than risk your disappointment.”

 

“I'm really confused.” He said with a sigh. Steve hated being confused.

 

“I know sweetheart. Come on.”

 

Her heart was beating hard in her chest as she opened the door and led Steve in by the hand and up the flight of stairs that led to the landing that the Rogers' had shared with the Barnes'. Turning toward the Barnes's apartment she let go of Steve's hand and stepped back as Bucky stepped hesitantly forward into the light coming from the dirty window.

 

The look of shock and joy and apprehension on Steve's face was heartbreaking. “Buck? Bucky, is that you?” He sounded nearly afraid to believe that his search for Bucky was over, that his long lost best friend was right in front of him.

 

“Yeah, it's me.”

 

“Do...” He swallowed. “Do you know who I am?”

 

“Steve....your mom's name was Sarah. You used to...put newspapers in your shoes. You rescued me from...from Hydra.”

 

Steve swallowed again. He was trying to stay in control but his hold was tenuous at best. “Buck...where have you been? I've been all over the world looking for you.”

 

Bucky nodded, looking down briefly. “I...it's been hard....breaking what they...what they did to me. It was so hard to remember. I had to keep moving. They....want me back. I can't let them...get me again.”

 

Now Captain America showed himself. “They will never touch you again buddy. Never.”

 

“I tried....I tried to kill you. I shot you. My....my best friend! How can you defend a monster?” Bucky's voice was quiet and filled with self disgust and regret His voice choked. His true self was horrified at what he'd been forced to do, what he hadn't been strong enough to fight. He hadn't spoken very much to her yet except to ask why she wanted to help someone like him. Something told her that he'd sadly fit in with many of her fellow Avengers with less than positive pasts.

 

“But you didn't. You fought it, Buck. You saved me. You are no monster, jerk!”

 

That made Bucky look up, his eyes shiny with emotion and his mouth twitched in a faint smile. “You stink at swimming, punk.”

 

With that, Steve stepped forward and all but yanked Bucky into his arms and the now former assassin went willingly. The two men clung to each other like a lifeline, an embrace nearly 75 years in the making.

 

Holly stepped away quietly and back down the steps, giving them some privacy, absently wiping away a tear of her own. She'd had hopes of bringing Bucky Barnes home, to reunite Steve with his best friend but to actually see it was amazing. More than that, it was honestly beautiful.

 

“Holly, may I assume that we are going to be bringing Sergeant Barnes back to the Tower?” Jarvis asked.

 

“Yes, he's coming back with us. Are Coulson's team still at the tower or did they leave?”

 

“They are still in the tower. Do you wish to be connected with the director?”

 

“Yes please.”

 

A few moments later, thanks to her contacts, she could see Coulson's face. “Holly, what's up? Where are you?”

 

“You better be sitting down Director. I'm in Brooklyn. With Steve. And Bucky Barnes.”

 

It wasn't easy to catch Coulson off guard, but his jaw dropped just the same. “Wait....wait...you engaged the Winter Soldier? Are you hurt? Is Cap?”

 

“No, the Winter Soldier is gone. It's just Bucky now. He's upstairs with Steve. He was in the one place no one thought to look for him.”

 

“Christ, he went home. The last place he probably remembered being safe.” Next to herself, Coulson was also an expert on the Howling Commandos and had been quick to make the realization. The tone in his voice was one of frustration, no doubt because he couldn't believe he hadn't thought of that himself.

 

“Got it in one. Can you get things ready there? I'm sure he'll be staying with Steve for a while but we're going to need a ton of food. If it wasn't for the serum, he'd be really emaciated. And see if you can get some clothes for him? Nothing here is salvageable.”

 

“We're going to have to tell Stark. He's not going to like this.”

 

She rolled her eyes. “Like I care? How do you think Nat will react?” As well as she knew her friend, she wasn't quite sure how the Russian would react considering the last two times she encountered Bucky, he'd tried to kill her.

 

Coulson pondered it. “I think if you and the Captain trust him to be safe, she'll be fine with it. I'm guessing you'd want Jemma to look him over?”

 

“Yeah, I think that'd be best.” She heard the men moving above her head, telling her they were coming down. “I gotta go. We'll see you when we get to the Tower.”

 

“Sure. And good job Holly. Peggy would be so proud of you. Dum Dum too.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

The pair of technical nonagenarians came down the stairs, both looking a little emotionally worn out but they were together again and all was right in the world.

 

“Hi again.” She greeted softly. “Can I call you James? I know only Steve calls you Bucky.”

 

The man who probably was closer to her physical age than Steve's looked at her for a long moment. “I guess that would be okay? Is that what Dum Dum told you?”

 

She shook her head. “No, just an inference. Actually when I was growing up, you were referred to as my uncle, like the other Commandos, sans Steve of course. I figure it'd be strange to call you Uncle, since we just met.”

 

A glimmer of a smile. “Figures. James is just fine.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Did ya see that coming? Please comment!


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to Holsvick for always commenting....be more like Holsvick!

**Holly POV**

Holly watched as James took a seat on the examination table, his eyes flickering between Jemma and Steve and then the few pieces of equipment that Jemma was explaining to the hesitant man. Coulson had no doubt realized that keeping the tech down to a minimum would be more soothing for a man who'd been the victim of Hydra than the normal rooms of the hospital floor of Avenger's Tower. Besides, having a pretty female doctor who speaks softly and kindly had to be a change for him.

 

“Buck, I'll be right here. Dr. Simmons is just going to check you out, okay?”

 

James nodded silently but watched Steve as he stepped out of the room. She managed to turn just in time to nearly be scooped up off her feet by Steve and twirled around, albeit with restraint.

 

She giggled and hugged him back, knowing that Steve was sharing his joy with her. He was nearly vibrating with it. “Happy?”

 

“Oh my god, Holly, you found him! He's safe!” He grinned and gave her another bear hug. “I know I should be mad that you went alone and I will be later, but but....I just....” He got a little choked and waved it off. “Sorry.”

 

“Honey, no. Don't apologize! It's your best friend, safe and sound! Believe me, when I met up with Clint and Nat after the Battle of New York and I saw they were both safe and sound? I cried like a baby. And when Coulson came back? After I punched him, I cried! Same thing with Tony after Afghanistan. This is 70 years of separation!” She put her hands on his cheeks, looking up into those beautiful blue eyes. “We promised Peggy we'd bring him home and we did. He's here and he's safe.”

 

Steve smiled, putting one large hand over one of hers. “Commandos mean family.”

 

“Damn straight.” Out of the corner of her eye, she knew James was watching with confusion and not paying attention to Jemma and her examination. “Now go in there so he'll pay attention to the questions Jemma is asking him. I'm going to get with Coulson and maybe Clint as back up to talk to Tony about this.”

 

“Okay. I'll talk to you soon.” He stepped forward and placed a chaste kiss to the corner of her mouth. Steve was rather reserved with public displays of affection which was just fine with her. She was never a big fan of advertising personal stuff in public. Part of growing up in SHIELD probably. “Thank you, Holly. Thank you.”

 

 

She walked down the hall of the medical wing to find Coulson peeking around the corner like a fangirl at a concert hoping to see a band member. Clint, on the other hand, stood in the hall, arms crossed and feet planted. The look in his eyes was that of one pissed off Avenger.

 

Crap.

 

Before she could even open her mouth, Clint exploded. “What the fuck is wrong with you Holly? Jesus Christ! Going to friggin' Brooklyn to check on a lead on one of the most legendary assassins of the last 75 years who makes all of Delta look like fucking preschoolers with toys and you don't fucking tell anyone? What the serious fuck!?”

 

“Barton!” Coulson said sternly. “That's enough!”

 

“No it's fucking not. That guy fucking shot Nat. Twice! He shot your boytoy and that's his best friend! He might have even killed Stark's parents, we don't know. Oh and he nearly killed Fury and who knows how many SHIELD agents on top of all the shit Hydra had him do in the last 75 years.” He ticked off each point on his fingers when he wasn't waving his hands around dramatically. “You went alone to face that? Not knowing where he was in his head? He doesn't know you at all. He could have just as easily killed you and none of us would fucking know!”

 

Clint was shouting pretty loud and Holly was glad for all the soundproofing in the tower. It was unlikely that the rant would be audible even to super soldier hearing. His face was red and it was like he was just getting more angry with every point.

 

“Are you done?” She asked softly, not backing down, not meeting his anger with her own defensiveness. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. If he kept it up, she might deck him but she wouldn't scream back.

 

He let out a barely restrained grunt.

 

“He's. Family.” She said in the same measured tone. “What they did to him wasn't in his control. Bucky Barnes did not do all those things. Hydra hijacked him and they did those things. Just like the Red Room hijacked Natasha. Like Loki hijacked you.” She stepped forward and put her hand on his arm, feeling the tension in it like a live wire. “What I did today is no different than when I tried to get to NY to help Nat get you back from Loki, from what you did for Natasha without even knowing her yet. Please understand.”

 

Coulson said nothing, knowing better after so many years to pretty much let them hash out their disagreements themselves. It was just easier and faster that way.

 

Clint took a deep breath and slowly let it out through his nose, his eyes closed. He was angry because he cared, because he loved her. It was something she'd seen before. “There was nothing stopping you from bringing backup. An extraction like that....fuck, Holly.” He wasn't yelling anymore but the strain to keep from yelling was audible.

 

“I had backup. Jarvis was right there monitoring and he argued against me going alone too. I had to do it alone rather than risk Steve getting his hopes up. He's too well trained, a team even of two would have spooked him and we would have lost him again. Why do you think he was so hard to find?”

 

He sighed and opened his eyes, the anger gone. “And we could have lost you.” He emphasized though now his voice was softer. It made her think back to London when she'd been released by the SHIELD doctors there and he wouldn't let her do so much as put on her own shoes. When he loved someone, it was intensely. “Do you see what I'm trying to say?”

 

“I do, sweetheart. But you need to trust that I know what I'm doing.” She looked up into his eyes, giving his arm a squeeze and not feeling that tension anymore. She was about to say something else but another voice spoke up.

 

“Like bringing in a 90 something year old assassin into my tower without telling me? Sparks, what the serious hell?”

 

Her shoulders dropped as she turned to see both Tony and a rather concerned Pepper coming down the opposite hallway. “And I'd still be trying to get inside if I'd told you.” She sighed. “Tony, it's Bucky. Not the Winter Soldier. It's the kid Dum Dum told us stories about. Steve's best friend.”

 

Tony looked unusually serious. “Holly....he might have been the one that killed my parents. Obediah might have orchestrated it but....shit. Does he even know what he's done all these years?”

 

She shook her head. She'd given that a lot of thought, hoping against hope that the deaths of the Starks had nothing to do with Steve's childhood friend. “I don't know. That's why he's in with Jemma right now getting checked out. He remembers most of what happened last year with the fall of SHIELD and fighting Steve. He remembers the war, remembers Dum Dum and the other Commandos. As for the rest? I don't know.” She turned from Clint and toward Tony, Pepper giving her a supportive but hesitant nod over his shoulder. She'd been very supportive in Holly's quest to try and help find James despite what Hydra had made him do. “We don't know what happened with your mom and dad. But even if he was there, that wasn't him. He was brainwashed. Just like Clint was by Loki and what the Red Room did to Nat.”

 

Clint growled, a bit of that anger coming back. He was still sensitive about what Loki had done to him. “Stop comparing us to him!”

 

A soft voice came from the direction that Tony and Pepper had come from. “She's right, Clint. You know she is.” Natasha walked toward the group, sparing a glance down the hall. “If his file is right, what they did to him was very similar to what they did to me, what Loki did to you. If he can overcome it, he can't be blamed for it.”

 

Clint stepped forward, putting his hands on the Russian's upper arms. “Nat, he shot you. Twice. He nearly killed Fury.”

 

“I nearly garroted him. I almost killed you when we met. I've killed scores of innocents. Just because you got me out 20 years ago doesn't make me any better than he is right now. If Holly and Steve trust him, we need to trust them.”

 

“Thank you Nat.” Holly said softly. She'd been concerned about Natasha's reaction to having the man behind two of her many scars in the tower. She wasn't sure she herself could be that understanding toward someone who'd shot her.

 

“Just the same, we need to be cautious. Restrict him to Steve's floor unless he's with one of us and even then, constant monitoring.” She added, looking to Holly. “We can't risk if he's got a failsafe mission or a trigger. You know what that means.”

 

Holly sighed, looking to Coulson who sadly nodded. When Natasha had first been extracted, although she was doing missions for SHIELD and was a member of Delta, there had been a plan in place in case she was a sleeper agent. Namely killing her as quickly as they could with as little collateral damage as possible. She was too dangerous to try and capture. “I know.”

 

Pepper, though not a former SHIELD agent or anything of the sort was still very quick. “You can't tell Steve. Not ever. He'd tear the world apart if it meant keeping Bucky safe. He'd never allow for that....contingency. Not even if his own life was in danger. Like last year.” They all knew too well that Steve had nearly died rather than kill Bucky, unwilling to end his friend's life because he couldn't let go of the idea that he could be saved.

 

“J, lock the recording of this conversation in my private file, deeply encoded. Nothing that Rogers could ever find if he got someone to look. Make it hard for yourself to access.”

 

“If that is possible sir, I shall endeavor to. I will, as well, keep the confidence. I agree with Miss Potts and Agent Romanov.”

 

“And don't think we aren't going to have a chat about you letting Holly go off on this cockamamie rescue thing by herself.” Pepper spoke up, raising her eyebrow at Holly. “Clint is right about that Holly. You had no idea what you were walking into.”

 

Holly sighed, knowing it was the truth. “I know.” She looked up at the group. “But it worked out. He's here and we're going to help him. It's what we do.”

 

Tony nodded and pulled her into a hug. “You gotta stop being like me kiddo. Don't do that again, okay?”

 

“I'll do my best.”

 

**Steve POV**

“This is much nicer than where I was.” Bucky said faintly, his eyes wide as he took in Steve's apartment, his body still stiff. Dr. Simmons had been gentle and quick with her examination, recommending mostly nutritious food and rest. The way he looked around had Steve wondering if he was accessing the place for threats or escape points.

 

“Yeah, it's nice. You know where you were, right Buck? Where Holly found you?”

 

Bucky turned, his brow furrowed. “Home?”

 

Steve nodded. Jemma had also recommended that Bucky, or Sergeant Barnes as she insisted on calling him, get cognitive reinforcement. The more memories that were confirmed as accurate, the easier it would be for him. “Yeah buddy. You were home in Brooklyn. Do you remember where you've been since I last saw you?”

 

“On the carrier? When....when I almost let you die?” Bucky said in a near whisper.

 

He moved forward and gently put his hand on Bucky's arm. Jemma had reminded him that no sudden movements was best and recommended that he talk to Sam as soon as he could about potential PTSD episodes and how to deal with them. “No, when you saved me from the Potomac. You saved me, Bucky. You always have.”

 

The older man's jaw clenched. “I'm...it's all confusing. I just...I wanted to go home. To be safe.”

 

“I know buddy. But you are now. My friends and I are going to help you. Okay? I'll give you the dime tour and you can get a shower and I'll get you some clean clothes to wear. That'll be a good place to start.”

 

“Was that girl your girlfriend?” Bucky asked bluntly. There was a bit of frustration in his tone, her name had slipped his mind. Back in Brooklyn, he'd told Steve how sometimes it was hard to remember little details. “Dum Dum's niece?”

 

Steve paused finding it surreal to be having this talk with Bucky after all this time. “You mean Holly? Yeah, yeah she is. Somehow I lucked out with a dame like her.”

 

“You kissed her, you weren't awkward with her. You've known her long?”

 

“About six months, dating a few weeks. She's an Avenger too. She lives in the apartment right below us.”

 

Bucky seemed to consider this. It was probably throwing him a bit that his old friend had a girl without any help from him. And even then, it would be for as long as the date and then he'd usually never see the girl again.

 

“Captain Rogers, Sergeant Barnes, if you would care to have a meal before any bathing, Holly arranged to have food prepared for your arrival. Would you like for me to have it sent up?” Jarvis' voice spoke out into the silence.

 

Bucky immediately dropped into a defensive crouch, his eyes wild, looking around. “Who the hell was that?”

 

Steve held up his hands. “It's okay Bucky. That's Jarvis. He's umm, he's an artificial intelligence Stark's son created. He runs the building and helps us.”

 

“Artificial what?”

 

“I am a person without form. Some might call me a living computer program, though that isn't entirely accurate. I am at your service, Sergeant Barnes for anything you may need. You need not be apprehensive. I mean no harm.”

 

Bucky slowly stood back up. He still looked around hesitantly, obviously not sure how to talk to someone who wasn't there. Steve had done the same thing the first time he spoke with Jarvis. Now it was almost second nature. “You....you can bring us food though?”

 

“Yes sir. I can have the kitchens send up the food and leave it outside the door, if you are not comfortable with strangers. It would be only a few minutes. Holly requested food to be prepared before you left Brooklyn.”

 

Steve gave Bucky an encouraging nod, silently thanking Holly for thinking ahead like that. “It's okay Buck. Do you want to eat? You look hungry and I could use a bite myself.”

 

The still disheveled man blinked. “You....you were always too skinny. Even with what they did to make you...Captain America.”

 

A grin. Back before the serum, Bucky had teased him for eating like a bird. Considering all his health problems and money issues then, it wasn't exactly easy to eat to excess. “Yeah I know.”

 

“Umm...Mr. Jarvis?”

 

“Yes Sergeant.”

 

“Could we get that food? Like you said?”

 

“Of course, sir. I will tell you of it's arrival.”

* * *

 

Steve walked in to the bedroom with the extra clothes that had come with the food delivery and stopped short. Bucky had been taking off the shirt that he'd been wearing and for the first time showed just what had been done to him. Where his metal arm had been attached was heavy with scar tissue. It was rough and obvious that whoever had done it hadn't cared for how he would look or how it felt. There was no surgical finesse. His back was covered in scars, knife wounds and what Steve recognized as faint bullet wounds and taser scars.

 

When he turned around, Steve was amazed to see more scars. Good god, what hadn't they done to him? Why hadn't he healed completely? At that moment he cursed having the enhanced vision to be able to see the many faint marks that told a horrible decades long story.

 

He must have been rather obvious about staring because Bucky shrugged. “It's okay. I don't really remember much of it.” He waved with his right hand to his arm. “It's better than not having an arm.”

 

Steve's heart broke. “I'm so sorry Bucky. I....we tried to find you. I'm sorry.”

 

Bucky looked confused. “For what? You didn't hurt me. I remember you trying...you could have fallen too, trying to get to me.”

 

“And yet when I fell, you jumped in after me.”

 

“Water is different than a mountain side.” He said simply.

 

**Holly POV**

“Holly, Captain Rogers requests, if you aren't occupied, to meet him outside of his apartment.”

 

Holly looked up from her tablet as Jarvis' voice filled the room. “Is everything okay up there Jarvis?” She'd been anxiously trying to distract herself when the whole time she'd been thinking about just what was going on upstairs. She knew she had to give them both time, it was just driving her crazy.

 

“Everything is alright, I am still on alert to call you if the situation changes in regards to Sergeant Barnes. I believe Captain Rogers would like to talk given that Sergeant Barnes has fallen asleep.”

 

“Okay Jarvis, tell him I'll be there in a few minutes.”

 

Ten minutes later found her going down the hall to Steve's apartment just as he was stepping out, closing the door behind him. She was sure he'd asked Jarvis to let him know if James so much as turned over in his sleep. “Hey, you okay?”

 

Steve nodded and held up his hand, meeting her down the hall. “He's asleep. Poor guy is exhausted. He said he doesn't think he's been out of the hibernation chamber or whatever it was for so long. He went without being able to dream for so long that now he has issues with nightmares. Thank you, for having food ready too. He was so hungry.” He shook his head, running his hand through his sandy blonde hair.

 

She moved closer and put her hand on his arm. “Honey, are you alright?”

 

“Yeah...yeah. It's just...weird. Bucky always took care of me. Worried after me. And here I am taking care of him.”

 

She gave him a smile. “Honey, that's what families do. I can help you, if you think he'd be comfortable with me.”

 

Steve nodded. “He took his shirt off and....” he sighed. “Those bastards just...”

 

She just hugged him and he wrapped his arms around her, his face pressed into her neck. She had a feeling Hydra hadn't exactly been delicate or considerate when it came to the cybernetic arm and it probably wasn't the first one. He'd no doubt been a guinea pig for them. “His arm?”

 

Steve swallowed. “The skin, where it meets his body, is just a bunch of scars. Like they were impatient with attaching it and didn't care how it looked or felt.”

 

“They probably didn't care honey. I'm sorry, but you know how these people think. But what's important is that they are never ever going to touch him again. When James is ready, Tony can look at the arm and maybe even design a new one. If he wants, I'm sure there's things we can do medically to reduce the scarring. You've seen Tony's chest now but when he first got home, well, it looked a lot rougher.”

 

“Yeah yeah.” He looked down at her. “Have I thanked you for bringing him home?”

 

She smiled and leaned up to give him a gentle kiss. “We brought him home together. Just like I told Peggy we would.”

 

“I'd...invite you in and all, but I think Buck is still trying to process the idea that I have a girlfriend.”

 

Holly giggled. She'd known that bringing home James would probably lead to an empty bed for a while at least. “You told him?”

 

“He figured it out. He saw how we were and asked. It was almost funny, the look of confusion on his face.”

 

She shook her head. “I don't know why. You are quite the catch, Captain Rogers.”

 

He rested his hands on her waist. “Wasn't always.”

 

“Bullshit. You're just taller now.”

 

“So you would have gone out with me pre-serum? All short and skinny and asthmatic? Stiff wind and I end up on the sidewalk?”

 

“You mean, brave, loyal, handsome, smart and sweet? Yes. I know what you looked like before, this is all very tasty icing but you are not the serum, mister.” She poked his peck for emphasis.

 

He smiled and leaned down to kiss her again, soft and sweet. “Yes, ma'am.”

 

Pulling away a few breathless moments later, she fixed his hair with her fingers. “Go inside, get some rest. Something tells me there's a strong chance of night terrors. You'll call me, if you need help.”

 

“If I need help with Bucky, what are you going to do?”

 

She raised her eyebrow at him and raised one hand, it glowing with a bit of the graft's power. “Hold him back mentally or if I absolutely had to, taser him. If he managed to hurt you again, once he got back into his right mind, he'd be besides himself with guilt. I want to help prevent that.”

 

He nodded. “Alright. Alright.” He smiled, touching her face. “Get some sleep yourself, okay?”

 

“I will.”

 


	41. Chapter 41

**Holly POV**

Holly quietly walked into the kitchen area of Steve's apartment, where Bucky was quietly eating a sandwich. He'd been at the Tower for a few days, spending most of his time getting checked out medically and staying sequestered with Steve. They were waiting till he was mentally able to handle Tony before they had him look over the cybernetic arm. It was working, but looked worse for wear. He still had the look of someone waiting to be struck, waiting for a shoe to drop. He seemed ready to fight or run at a moment's notice. It would take a long time for him to lose that, if it was possible. He probably had the worst case of PTSD ever. “Hi James. Do you remember me?”

 

He looked up, putting down the sandwich. He was dressed in a simple tshirt with the Avengers' A on the pocket, a flannel and jeans. His feet were bare. She was glad to see that for wherever Steve seemed to be, James was able to get himself ready in the morning without any help. The fact that he wasn't surprised at her walking into the apartment meant that Jarvis was probably helping out and letting him know there was a visitor and not a threat. “You are Holly Dugan, Dum Dum's niece.” He furrowed his brow. “You are Baby Liam's daughter.” He paused. “You were born in 1980.”

 

Holly nodded. That was good detail memory. “That's right. Good.”

 

Bucky nodded, almost as if he was affirming it to himself. “I was...I was in Russia then. I think. It's hard to keep it straight. Steve's been helping me write it down as I think about it. I don't even know how old I am really. Do you know?”

 

“Technically, you are 98. We can have Jemma figure out how old you are physically. I'm going to guess you are closer to my age than Steve. He was physically still 27 when they found him, but the serum slows down the aging process.”

 

“So you are 35, even though it's 2016?”

 

She gave him an encouraging smile. He'd absently guessed that her next birthday might not have passed given they were only in the first month of the year. “That's good. My birthday is in October, so I am 35. You know the year. Is that hard to keep track?”

 

He nodded. “They only....unfroze me when they needed me. I never knew how long I'd be frozen. This is the longest I've been out since...since the train.”

 

“I understand. I'm sorry they did that to you. I'm sorry for everything they did. I'm glad to see you are doing better though. I was hoping we could get to know each other. Dum Dum told many stories about you. So did Aunt Peggy.” She figured it would be easier to refer to Peggy as her aunt rather than call her mom and confuse the poor man.

 

Again, Bucky looked confused. “Peggy was your aunt? Did she marry Dum Dum?” Then, almost to himself. “No, she would never marry Dum Dum.”

 

Holly smiled, stepping closer. “No, she was an honorary aunt. My mother died in the field when I was little and she helped my father out by being a mother to me as I grew up. She insisted I call her Aunt out of respect to my mother. I usually ended up calling her mom anyway.”

 

“Was?”

 

She let out a breath. She'd hadn't meant to let that slip. Hopefully James wouldn't react harshly to the news. She braced herself just in case. “Peggy passed in November. She was 101. She was very happy to know you were alive. She knew we'd bring you home. I promised her we would.”

 

James shook his head. “Steve told me. Yeah. She was in Washington. I should have remembered.” He ran his hand through his hair, tugging on it a bit which seemed to be a habit from the little she'd observed of him. Was that something he'd done when he and Steve were kids? “She was a classy lady. Only ever had eyes for Steve, the jerk.”

 

Holly smiled, happy to hear a bit of humor in the former Winter Soldier's voice. Peggy had fondly spoken of the young man, his bravery and devotion to Steve. She'd been shocked to learn of his survival and worse that Hydra had been using him that whole time. Holly knew that had Peggy been alive and not 101, she would have insisted on going with her to Brooklyn.

 

“Your mother was a SHIELD agent?” He asked after a moment, taking the time to think back to the second to last thing Holly had said. He was doing much better thanks to being in a safe environment with plenty of food and people willing to help him. SHIELD training taught the basics of how to help someone who'd been brainwashed or “forcibly programmed”. Food, shelter and positive reinforcement. And above all, time.

 

“Yes she was.”

 

“Did I kill her?” Bucky's eyes grew wide and horrified at the thought. “I'm not really sure who I've killed. Or how many. Did I?”

 

“No, you didn't. You didn't.” She soothed immediately. The last thing she wanted to do was trigger him by letting him think he was talking to the child of one of his victims. Later they would have to deal with the fact that he had tried to kill Natasha and had shot her, not once, but twice. “The woman who killed my mother was a KGB agent from the Red Room.”

 

“Oh god, the Red Room. I remember them. They scared most of the Hydra people with how creative they could be.”

 

Holly nodded. What she knew about the Red Room from Natasha was terrifying and she was sure that the worst of it wasn't something Nat would ever tell anyone. Even Clint. Her mind going to Natasha, Holly decided to try something. “Do you remember Natasha Romanov? You fought her with Steve, a year ago. A redhead about my size?”

 

Bucky nodded. “I remember. A good fighter. She had a garrot.” He paused and his voice softened as he looked away with a pensive look. “I shot her. Did I kill her?” She could tell in his tone that he was frustrated at having to ask that question and not knowing for himself what he had done.

 

“No, sweetie. She's fine. I mentioned her because she was a victim of the Red Room. She killed the woman who killed my mother. I think it might be good for you to talk to her, when you are ready. She knows what it's like to have your mind played with, to be used.” She wondered if he was referring to the first time he shot her or the second.

 

The slight smile on his face made her curious. “What is it?”

 

“You called me sweetie. No one has called me that since....since I can't remember. It's nice.”

 

She gave him a smile. The simple pleasures. “Well I'm glad. Are you still hungry? I can have more food brought up if you like.” She knew how much food Steve could put away when he was really hungry and considering what the last year must have been like for James, she just wanted to make him as comfortable as possible.

 

“Not right now. Did you tell them to make strawberry shakes and burgers with cheese fries?”

 

She was proud of this. “Yes, I am. Peggy would talk about how you and Steve would go on and on about taking the el train to Queens so you could go to Pops on Jamaica Ave and get the same thing there. I grew up not too far from there and she would take me when I was little for the very same thing.”

 

Bucky nodded. “I thought you sounded like a Queens girl.”

 

She grinned. “That's what Steve said!”

 

“Is Pops still there?” He sounded hopeful but the kind of hopeful that isn't very confident about the answer. Restaurants remaining in business for well over 70 years wasn't very common.

 

“Actually, it is. They had some rough times but Peggy and Dum Dum helped them stay open. Out of respect for you and Steve. You have your own booth with a plaque and everything. Even your own burger. I think they call it the Bucky Burger.” She knew she was giving him much too much information all at once. She sounded like Coulson for the love of Pete. “Maybe we could go someday and you can see for yourself.”

 

“I'd like that.” He sat back and rubbed his stomach a little. He was still too thin, but his color was much better. Getting the amount of food he needed, plus vitamin supplements was helping. Whatever the Hydra serum had done to him, it was helping him heal at the very least. “It's good, to be full. Why am I always so hungry? Am I like Steve? Did they do that to me when they replaced my arm or when Steve rescued me in Schmitt's factory?” He indicated the arm that was covered by a flannel shirt of Steve's. “Is that how I was able to fight him? How I survived the fall?”

 

“I think so. There's a lot we still need to learn but right now, why don't we just concentrate on helping you feel better and more comfortable, alright? Did you enjoy having a good hot shower to start your day today?” She was impressed with how easily he was speaking and how inquisitive he was. She wondered if it was being around Steve again that was doing it.

 

“Yes, I guess it's a good thing this is waterproof or resistant.” He indicated his cybernetic arm.

 

“It probably wouldn't be of much use if it wasn't.” Yet again, his hand went to his hair, pushing it back. “Would you like me to tie your hair back for you?”

 

“I should cut it. I look like a girl.”

 

She smiled, grabbing a rubberband off of Steve's counter before finding a brush in the bathroom off of the kitchen. “Actually, it's become quite popular for men to have longer hair. It all depends on the man. Some look good with long hair, other's don't. It looks nice on you, I think. Is it okay if I stand behind you?”

 

He nodded his approval. “I know you aren't a threat. Thank you, for being so nice to me. For not being afraid.”

 

She carefully brushed his hair, noting how healthy it was and wondering if that had something to do with what Hydra had done to him. She noticed he closed his eyes and brushed it for a little more than was really necessary for tying it back. It was gratifying that he found comfort in some physical contact already. “I don't have any reason to be afraid of you, James. Dum Dum told me so many stories about you when I was a kid. He really cared about you, you know. As much as he liked to bust your chops.”

 

“Yeah. He was like the big brother of the group of us. Always busting on us but like a brother would. Steve was reminding me with stories.”

 

“What's going on in here?” The two turned to see Steve looking a bit tired, dressed in just pajama pants that just happen to be desperately clinging to his narrow hips. Bucky had trouble sleeping through the whole night so Steve had taken to sleeping in a chair by his friend's bed so he would be there in case of a nightmare. Jarvis kept her apprised of what was going on and if Steve needed help. So far he hadn't.

 

Holly tried desperately to remember her training and not let her more base instincts get to her. She'd really missed sharing a bed with Steve and more. She bit the inside of her cheek hard enough to nearly make her eyes water and concentrated on putting the rubberband in Bucky's hair and not on those hipbones or those abs or how they felt under her fingers.

 

“Holly was keeping me company. She's not afraid of me like a lot of people.” She wondered if James knew anything about Tony's strong argument against having James in the Tower, out of fear that he could lose it and try to hurt any one of them. Or that there was a chance that he'd been used to kill his old friend Howard Stark and his wife Maria. She was thankful neither of them had heard Clint's rant about how dangerous James was.

 

Steve gave her a thankful smile and nodded in encouragement to his childhood friend. “Holly's not afraid of most anything. She's a hero too. The newest Avenger. Remember, I told you when we first brought you here.”

 

She'd moved to a chair across from James as the newly found man looked at her in surprise. “I thought there was something about how you walk. I guess it explains why you came looking for me alone.” He blinked. “You've spent too much time with Steve I think.”

 

Holly couldn't help but smile and the light that came from Steve's eyes with the comment was beautiful. “I've been told that a lot. Not to mention Peggy helped raise me. I can handle myself pretty well.”

 

“Do you carry weapons on you?”

 

A look at Steve, who had pulled on a tshirt thankfully, told her it was okay. “Yes, I usually do just in case. I carry a collapsible staff and usually a knife or two. A gun if I need to. That's when I'm in street clothes. And there's some technology I use that Tony came up with. I'll show you another day how that works.” She decided not to mention being a mutant for now. That was something she could bring up later. She didn't want to overwhelm the man with information.

 

“Do you have a uniform like Steve's?”

 

“Kind of. It's different but when I go on missions, I go under my codename Lady Skywalker.”

 

Bucky looked at her for a moment and furrowed his brow. Then he stiffened. “That's you? Pierce. He said something about you.” He put the heel of his hand to his forehead. “He was on his phone. Said something like you would always be a threat. Like your mother. Your father.” He paused, obviously trying to remember. “He had you on the list. For the carriers. He didn't know I'd seen part of it. You were a target!” His voice was almost panicked, his eyes wide as he made the realization.

 

Taking a chance, she reached out and put her hand on his cybernetic one. Absently noting that it wasn't as cold as she'd expected, she wondered if Hydra had also trained his mind on top of training his body. For him to remember her specific name from a list he briefly saw a year earlier was impressive. Could they have trained him to have photographic memory? “James, it's alright. It's okay. I know I was a target. I've been one since I was born because my family helped create SHIELD. And Pierce was right, I'll always be a threat to Hydra and they should be afraid of me.”

 

“I won't let them hurt you, Holly.” His voice was determined. It was obvious that it meant a lot to him to have someone who cared about his well being and wasn't afraid of him. That and he no doubt didn't want anyone to suffer at Hydra's hands like he had. She wondered if Steve had talked about her to James. What had he said?

 

It was all she could do not to hug the damaged young man. It made her extremely happy that he was already protective of her. It showed trust. If he was showing ability to trust, that was a huge step in his journey away from what Hydra did to him. “Thank you sweetheart. How about we have that go both ways?”

 

“Maybe three ways?” Steve spoke up, clearly pleased by his childhood friend doing so well. He was all but beaming in pride.

 

“Someone has to keep your ass out of the fire.” James said nonchalantly.

 

Both Holly and Steve let out a laugh. She'd been right, Bucky Barnes had been inside the Winter Soldier the whole time.

 

* * *

 

 

Holly looked up and was surprised to see a hesitant James at her door with Steve. “Hi boys!” It had been a couple days since she'd first gone to Steve's apartment to visit with James and since then she'd stopped by a couple times to share meals and just help him be used to speaking about what he could remember. They would have to deal with the legal ramifications of the last 70 years sooner rather than later. She was already putting a plan into motion to hopefully get James clemency.

 

“Hi Holly. Thought it might be nice to show Bucky around the Tower and figured since you live right downstairs, this would be our first stop.” Steve said, stepping inside with one eye on his best friend to see how he was handling it.

 

“That sounds great, come on in.” She looked to James who was obviously noting all the weapons on display. “Remember how we told you that I'm an Avenger too, James? These are some of the weapons I use.”

 

“It's quite a collection.” The haunted man said quietly, looking at the guns, then the swords. “I don't know if I'd want to see all of this all the time. It doesn't bother you?”

 

“Well, you see, I grew up learning how to use these from a very young age.” She moved forward cautiously, not wanting to spook him. “They are tools, nothing more.”

 

He nodded, his eyes looking around. “Your apartment is nice, like Steve's. Lots of light.” His voice was very hesitant and soft. No doubt he was nervous about being outside of Steve's apartment. She wondered if he'd already figured out a few escape routes or places to hide.

 

“Thanks. Tony knows how much I like natural light.”

 

“Oh. You play instruments?” James wandered over to where her piano, cello, violin and guitars were. “You play all of these?”

 

“Not at the same time, but yeah.” She followed him over, his chuckle making her day. “This was a Christmas present from Pepper. She's Tony's girlfriend and the CEO of Stark Industries. It's over 350 years old.” She indicated the display with the Stradivarius.

 

“She can sing like you wouldn't believe Buck. She could be on Broadway.” Steve encouraged, throwing Holly a playful wink.

 

“I don't know about that, but yeah, I sing too.” She watched James as he looked at the instruments. “Steve told me that you can play the piano pretty well.”

 

A twitch. “I used to. Before the war. I guess during it too if one was around.”

 

“You want to give it a try? It's been a while, but I bet you are still very good.” She opened the cover over the keys, pulling back the bench. She and Steve had been working with the BAU in the FBI on various techniques to jog James' memory. Reid had been the one to encourage music. Penelope mostly flirted with Steve and nearly made him blush.

 

James took a half step back . “No, no that's okay. I don't think I could. Not with this.” He looked down at his nearly covered cybernetic arm, his lips pressed together in a thin line of what she would wager was contempt. His arm would always be a reminder to him of what happened. “Thanks.”

 

“You don't know if you don't try, sweetie.” She sat down at the bench. “I didn't think I would be able to play again after I was hurt in London back in 1999. But I tried and it helped me get better. Like therapy.”

 

James hesitated but sat down besides her after she patted the bench, though he stayed facing away from the keys while she faced forward. “How did you get hurt?”

 

“I was shot in my left shoulder.” At his stiffening, she put her hand on his arm. “Clint and Natasha were right there. It was 16 years ago. I'm alright now.”

 

He swallowed. “How did it help you get better?”

 

“It distracted me from thinking about how the guy had managed to surprise me like that and how I was off duty for over a month while it healed. Gave me something to do, to improve on.”

 

“Only a month?”

 

She looked to Steve who nodded. “Yeah. See, there are more people than just you and Steve who have Super Soldier serum. Natasha was given a version when she was young and when I was 14, I was given a quarter dose to help with healing and stuff. Remember how I told you when we first met?”

 

James' eyes widened. “You're like us?”

 

“A bit. I didn't get a full dose.” She gave him a smile. It was a detail from a very exhausting day, she wasn't too worried that he'd forgotten. “I'm still a bit on the short side, you notice.”

 

“It helps you heal?”

 

She nodded. “Yeah it does. It helps my reflexes a little too. That's why I think you can still play the piano. It's just another reflex. Muscles remember even when the mind doesn't.” She stretched her fingers and began to play a piece that Coulson always liked, The Entertainer. “Music is a great way deal with your emotions.”

 

“I....I remember playing for a quarter. And Steve would draw. Is that right?”

 

Holly turned her head, still playing the familiar piece to see a full grin break over Steve's face. James' had just mentioned something from before the war. Progress.

 

“Yeah buddy, that's right. You would play and I would draw. There was that one night we nearly made $10 between us.”

 

James' furrowed his brow and nodded faintly. “I think I remember. Our pockets were full of change. We brought your mom flowers and chocolates....was it her birthday?”

 

Holly was almost sure that Steve was either going to cry or start dancing around in joy, his eyes were so big. “Yeah! That's it Buck. It was my mom's birthday but I didn't have any money to get her anything, we'd just payed Mr. Paccillo the rent.”

 

“She....she said she was lucky....to have two good sons like us.” James struggled, looking up at Steve. “I'm not a good son. I can't remember what she looked like. Or my mother.”

 

“I have a picture upstairs of my mother, Buck. You've seen it. You just have to look at it again. I bet we can try to find a picture of your mom too.”

 

“Give it time James. You'll remember. Did you play music for your mom?”

 

He furrowed his brow. “Yeah. Umm Fur Elise. Do they still play that?”

 

She smiled and began playing the beginning of the piece. “Yeah they do. Why don't you play with me? Just try?”

 

His lips pressed together into a line yet again before he turned around and looked at the keys. “I can try.”

 

“That's all I ask sweetheart. Whenever you're ready, I'll follow you.”

 

* * *

 

“So Dr. Reid's suggestion of using music worked?” Bruce sounded impressed as they both looked over the menu of the bistro they'd decided on for lunch. Holly had bounded into the Playroom and announced that she was kidnapping Bruce and Tony would just have to deal. Ironically Tony was in one of his brainstorming moods and probably had no idea she'd been there or that Bruce had left.

 

“It did! It really did. When we get back, you can watch the recording Jarvis made. I sent it to the BAU and Penelope was almost crying. Hell, I thought Steve was going to cry.”

 

Bruce smiled. “You're helping his best friend find himself again, that's pretty emotional.” He put down his menu and gave her a long look. “How are you doing with the whole thing? Pepper mentioned that Clint all but screamed at you for going to Brooklyn alone. Can't say I don't agree with him. You shouldn't have gone alone.”

 

She sighed. Was she ever going to not be reminded of that? “I understand that but if the whole team had gone in, we could have triggered him or at least caused him to flee. Jarvis was with me, I was fine.”

 

Bruce shook his head. “You were very lucky. Steve seems to be over the moon about having Bucky back. Have you two managed to have any time together since then?”

 

She shrugged and shook her head. “Not really. I mean, I go and visit but the focus is on James. It's okay. I'm not going to demand that Steve ignore his best friend who he thought he lost more than once just because we're dating now.”

 

“Kind of like how he's understanding about you and Barton?”

 

Holly stopped and raised a brow. “Just how much gossip are you getting from Jarvis?”

 

Bruce snickered, pushing his glasses up. “A good amount. Pepper keeps me up to date too. You'd be amazed at how often people come to talk to me about stuff.”

 

“You're easy to talk to. You have a good sense about people too I've noticed.”

 

“Didn't always. You learn a lot when you live so long on the run and trying to keep from losing your temper so you don't destroy a city or hurt anyone.” He sat back in his chair, looking around the room briefly before turning back to her. “I'm guessing you developed something similar with your genetics?”

 

She nodded, noticing him sizing up the room much like any of them did for potential threats. Nat and Clint had worked with Bruce quite a bit in how to recognize when someone was trying to actively look like they weren't watching you. “My case is more SHIELD training than anything else but yeah. Once in a while you'd think you'd know someone and then they'd surprise you by saying something about how all mutants are freaks.”

 

Bruce sighed, sitting forward again and propping his head on his hand. Despite how things had changed for him in the last couple years, the man was still fidgetty about going out in public. “Like some of your former students?”

 

The server showed up then and they both gave their orders before she answered him. “Yeah. I mean, every once in a while a student would have a Friends of Humanity shirt on or one of those “100% real human” shirts. More than anything, it was disappointing really. I mean here these kids are, potentially looking to learn but then they embrace bigotry. I get that it's a fear thing for most, I do. But normal humans can be just as dangerous as mutants.”

 

“I'd agree to that. You don't have to be born with enhanced genetics to be a threat. Look at our buddy Doom. Or that Pierce guy. How many people died because of his allegiance to Hydra?”

 

She smiled a little, thanking the waitress who dropped off the menus. Apparently she wasn't a chatty one. “I'll have to bring you up to Westchester with me sometime when I get off my ass and go to visit the school. The Professor has wanted to meet you for a long time.”

 

“Hopefully not to try and put mental blocks in my head to control The Other Guy right? I've tried that. Doesn't work and he really doesn't like it.”

 

“No, no. Nothing like that. I think more than anything he'd want to introduce you to some of the more traumatized kids. The ones who might've accidentally hurt someone when they manifested for instance. You still help people. You didn't give up.”

 

“There were plenty of times I did though.”

 

She reached out and touched his hand. “Not really. I think if you truly hit rock bottom, The Other Guy would too. He's your rage but he's also your survival instinct. He probably knows you better than you know yourself.”

 

He gave her a smile and patted her hand with his free one. “I'm guessing that's how Barnes feels about Cap right now huh?”

 

Holly nodded, thanking the waitress who returned with their drinks. “He's really progressing very well. Better than I think he would have without Steve. I was thinking maybe when he's ready for it, you and Natasha could teach him how to meditate?” Despite having the Hulk chase her through the helicarrier during the Loki incident, Natasha had a soft spot for Bruce. He did everything and anything to prevent hurting others and she admired that. Together, they had meditation sessions and anyone in the tower was welcome. She'd gone a few times, mostly after losing first Peggy and then Trip. She knew Pepper went often to help her control the Extremis in her system. Clint went just to support Nat.

 

“If you think he'd be comfortable with us, I'd be happy to. Has he met Natasha yet?”

 

“Yeah. I brought her with me the other day for lunch in Steve's apartment. He was really uncomfortable and I could tell he wanted to be anywhere but there. Nat was amazing though.” She played with the condensation on her glass. “She talked to him about the Red Room and how she knows what it's like to be used as a weapon.”

 

“And the fact that he shot her? Twice?”

 

Holly shook her head. “He tried apologizing but she told him that it wasn't necessary. He had no control over what he was doing and both times had been non-fatal wounds. Steve got excited, emphasizing that with as good a shot as James was or is, for him to only shoot to wound a potentially deadly enemy was a major thing.”

 

“Like he was fighting back subconsciously?”

 

“Yeah. I talked to Reid and Hotch about it at the BAU and they said there's a chance of that. I think so too. I mean, he was a top notch sniper and I'm sure Hydra did all they could to make him even better. For him to only wound her? Doesn't sound like an accident to me.”

 

“How'd he react to that?”

 

“That it didn't matter, he still shot her.”

 

“Sounds like me after the whole Abomination thing. Yeah I stopped the guy but I destroyed Harlem.” He shook his head, having previously mentioned that he didn't like to think about Blonsky or by proxy, think of General Ross. “Have you mentioned being a mutant to him, to Barnes?”

 

“Actually he brought it up. He was watching TV and some show was talking about Steve and I being together and they showed the footage from Forest Park.” She shook her head, thinking of how bad her head had hurt after pushing her telekenesis to grab the guns and then crush them rather than let anyone else be hurt by the Friends of Humanity gang.

 

“And?”

 

“He didn't have a problem with it. He was more curious than anything, like Steve.”

 

“Did you demonstrate for him?”

 

She grinned. “Yeah. I lifted Steve out of his chair and floated him up to the ceiling.”

 

Bruce laughed. “I'm sure he loved that.”

 

“Not quite as much as Clint does but it was an experience to say the least. He actually joked that if I wasn't careful he'd make me help him to paint his ceiling. You know, like the Sistine Chapel?”

 

“Yeah, that sounds like our resident artist.” He sat back against the booth. “So tomorrow is the big day for us to take a look at Barnes' arm? You think he's ready?”

 

“I think as long as Steve's with him, he'll be fine. I'm less worried about you since you would probably make him feel at ease. It's Tony I worry about. You know how he is.”

 

Bruce shook his head. “Tony has his moments but considering what happened to him in Afghanistan with the shrapnel and everything,” He waved his own hand at his chest. “Barnes didn't ask for what they did to him, the arm, the brainwashing, the assassinations. I think Tony knows that.”

 

“Neither did Pepper with Extremis.”

 

“She made that point. She's eager to meet him too, Barnes. Steve's told her a lot of stories.”

 

Holly laughed. “And then Tony can get jealous of Pepper doting on James like she does with Steve.”

 

“Nah.” Bruce dismissed it with a wave of his hand. “Jarvis and I can distract him. Right Jarvis?”

 

“Most certainly, Dr. Banner.” The AI spoke from Holly's graft.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pops is a real restaurant in Queens, btw. And yes, it was around when Steve and Bucky would have gone there. My dad broke their front window with a baseball when he was a kid around 1934 or so.


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a long chapter....keep in mind, this is not based on any kind of legal knowledge and I keep it relatively vague for that reason. In a world where there's Super Soldier Serum and the Incredible Hulk, imagine this legal mumbo jumbo is accurate. K? Thanks. 
> 
> BTW, review please!!!!

**Holly POV**

“Are you sure about this?” Steve murmured as they led Bucky toward Stark's playroom so he could look over the cybernetic arm. He no doubt still found Stark to be a bit overwhelming and he'd known the man for over a year. James had only been back for little more than a week and had gone through so much more than Steve had. At least that's how it was to Steve. He was always discounting everything he'd gone through. Just the same, the last thing he wanted to do was reverse any of the progress they had made. Neither did she.

 

“It'll be fine. I had Natasha give Tony a talking to. Bruce will be there and he won't do anything that would upset Bruce.”

 

Steve gave her a look.

 

“Nothing that he actually thought would lead to Bruce hulking out.” She amended. “James, anytime Tony gets on your nerves, you let us know. He can be a bit much to deal with and I've known him since I was in diapers.”

 

James nodded as they walked into the lab. He was looking around quite a bit, no doubt trying to memorize the route in case he had to run. Someday Holly hoped that wouldn't be second nature to him. Not to mention trying to identify the machines around him to try and recognize danger. “Okay. You're both staying, right?”

 

“Of course sweetheart. We'll both be here.” James was still not comfortable with being alone for very long or alone outside of Steve's apartment. He'd been to her apartment a couple times but was still rather hesitant. She walked them over to where Bruce was preparing some equipment. “This is Bruce, he's our team doctor.”

 

James tilted his head, his eyes growing distant. “Robert Bruce Banner also known as the Hulk. No known weaknesses. Do not excite or anger. Avoid at all costs in Hulk form.” His eyes refocused and he put the heel of his hand to his forehead. “Damn it. I'm sorry. I just, I remember reading about you. They had me learn about a lot of people.”

 

Holly had no doubt he'd been made to memorize faces and information in preparation for a needed assassination or to help Project Paperclip along.

 

“It's alright Sergeant. The Other Guy is a bit difficult to keep secret.” Bruce said with good humor. “It's nice to meet you. Steve's told us a lot about you.” He held out his hand. Bruce would be the last person to judge someone based on their past. His need to help others was one of his best qualities.

 

James looked surprised but took Bruce's hand with his natural one, giving it a shake. “Thank you. Holly said you saved her life a few months ago. Will you be able to help me find out what they did to me?”

 

Bruce gave Holly a fond look, always appreciating how she was so adamant about how important he was to the team as a doctor and scientist, not just the Hulk. It was the truth and she wouldn't stop reminding him of that, just like Tony and Pepper wouldn't. Especially given that he wasn't really a medical doctor as much as he had ended up being for the team. “We're going to try our best.”

 

Then the door opened and Holly could see both Bruce and Steve wince in preparation for whatever Tony would manage to rudely say to James upon their first meeting.

 

Tony walked right over to them, his eyes mostly focused on the cybernetic arm he was there to take a look at and then held out his hand. “Tony Stark. You must be Sergeant Barnes. My dad said good things about you. So has Cap and my sister here. Nice to meetcha.”

 

Holly had to cover her mouth with her hand to keep from laughing at the utter look of shock on Bruce and Steve's faces at how polite Tony was being. Natasha must have really done a major mindfuck on Tony. Or maybe he could sympathize with James, he hadn't asked for what was done to save his life back in Afghanistan.

 

“Hello.” James said quietly, shaking Tony's hand. It was a wonder he wasn't startled at how much Tony looked like his father. Hopefully he didn't say it outloud, Tony didn't like the reminder. “Thank you for letting me stay here.”

 

“It's really a group thing, like a superhero commune, I just built the place. And pay the bills and stuff.” He tilted his head, looking at the arm. “Do you know how long you've had this?”

 

James shook his head. “I don't know. I have....my memory isn't the best.”

 

Tony nodded, walking around James to see the arm better. “I can totally sympathize with that. Ask me about 2002 thru 2006, I have no idea.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I'm a drunk. Or at least I used to be. I'm getting better.” A brief glimpse to Holly who gave him an encouraging wink. She'd helped Pepper in nagging Tony about his drinking and even broke into his house more than once to pour out all the liquor when she lived in California. Though it couldn't really count as breaking in when Jarvis opened the doors and would tell her where all the alcohol was hidden.

 

“That's good. My father...drank, I think.”

 

Steve nodded solemnly. Holly looked down at the floor, Steve told her one night at his Washington apartment when neither could sleep about how Bucky used to sneak over to his house to get away from his father. The poor kid had suffered his share of black eyes and god knows what else because George Barnes was a deadbeat. It was almost a grace that his sisters had passed with his mother in a TB outbreak. Who knew what George Barnes could have or would have done to the girls. “Yeah Buck, he did.”

 

“So did my old man, Barnes. And I think he also might have designed parts of your arm here. Some of this looks like old old Stark Industries tech. Someone remind me to sue Hydra for copyright infringment. Mind taking off your shirt and coming over here?” He walked over to a big piece of equipment. “I need to see how it's attached and I'll scan it to make a 3D holographic image.”

 

James took a step back at the sight of the machine, which would have him laying down while a scanning bar went around him.

 

“Sweetie, what is it?” Holly asked, noticing his hesitance.

 

“It...it looks like what they used....to...take my memories.” He breathed sharply through his nose. It was a technique that Natasha had taught him to help deal with anything that was an emotional trigger. Surprisingly, even though he'd shot her twice, she had been willing to help him. He'd tried apologizing for shooting her and she brushed it off. Both times that she'd come to Steve's apartment to work with the former assassin. Holly wondered if it was because Natasha felt she owed Steve. “I don't...no. No.”

 

“Bucky, listen to me. No one is going to mess with your memories or anything here. Stark is going to help you. Just like his father helped me. Remember Howard? Okay? Trust me, I won't let anyone hurt you.” Steve spoke quietly and reassuringly, his hand on his friend's shoulder in reassurance. For whatever reason, Holly wondered if James was thinking about how Steve used to have to reach up to do that back before the serum.

 

“Neither will I sweetheart. Would it help if I laid down and Tony scanned me first? You can see how it works then.”

 

James nodded, a little embarrassed hope in his eyes. He wanted to try and be brave but Hydra had done a number on his trust over the last 70 years. She didn't blame him for being hesitant to go near anything that looked like anything they had. She was sure that if Doom's bots had looked anything like Tony's armor, she'd have issues being around him as Iron Man after Bavaria.

 

Tony shrugged and waved to the machine. “Come on Sparky, you know the drill.” She had been scanned many times during the development of and then implantation of her grafts and then after to monitor them.

 

Holly took off her shoes and took off the necklace of Peggy's she'd been wearing, silently handing it to Steve and hopped up on the bed, laying down. “It's very quick, James. I just have to be still while they scan me. You don't feel anything.”

 

“Okay Holly, try to hold your breath until I tell you to let go.” Bruce said softly, while both he and Tony worked at side by side terminals. The scanner flew over and around Holly, it's soft green light covering every inch of her, creating a holographic image, piece by piece. When it was done, Bruce called out “Okay, let go.”

 

Holly smiled and let out the breath she'd been holding and sat up, seeing the image herself. “See James? That's all it does. You can't even feel it, like I said. That's me.”

 

James walked over hesitantly and looked at it curiously. “What are those bright green lines all over?”

 

“Those are my grafts. Tony and Bruce created technology for me so I could do more out in the field. It helps me to stun an opponent and gives me more agility. I have contacts that let me see in different kinds of light, even a very rudimentary xray.” She held out her arms and Jarvis silently activated the grafts so their glow could be seen. “See?”

 

James nodded, looking back to the image. “What's this?”

 

“I have artificial ribs and a new sternum from when I was hurt a few months ago. That's from when I broke my arm as a kid and a few other injuries over the years.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Do you want to give it a try?”

 

He looked at her, at the machine, at the image and then Steve. “I guess. You're staying?”

 

“Steve and I will be right here sweetheart. No worries.”

 

“Okay.” He unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged it off, handing it to Holly with a chagrined look on his face before he hopped up on the table and took a breath before laying down. It broke her heart that even with the version of the Super Soldier serum he had, Hydra hadn't done anything about the scarring around his cybernetic arm. She was thankful Steve had told her about the other scars so she was able to hide her reaction. There were so many! The poor man had been through hell in the last 70 years and those were just the scars the Hydra serum didn't heal. Just the same, she turned her head and closed her eyes a moment.

 

Steve pressed a kiss to her head. “We're never going to let them touch him again, doll. We're helping him.” He murmured softly before moving his hand to hold hers and give it a squeeze.

 

“You are doing great Sergeant. Give us a minute to recalibrate it for your arm okay?” Bruce encouraged James, speaking in his normal comforting tone.

 

“Yeah.” His eyes looked all over the room, it was obvious he was consciously trying not to panic or anything.

 

“Ok Sergeant. I just need you to hold your breath for a few moments when I tell you. Okay?”

 

Bucky nodded and like with Holly's scan, Bruce told him to hold it and the scanner went all over his body with it's green light only his eyes were tightly closed. Soon a new 3D image appeared, much different than Holly's.

 

“Ok, go ahead and let that breath go. Great job.”

 

Holly loved how soothing Bruce could be and gave him a nod of thanks. If anyone would want to keep someone else calm, it'd be him. She stepped over to where Bucky was already sitting up with Steve at his side. “See? That was nothing.”

 

James nodded. “Yeah. Thanks for showing me first though.” He took the shirt from Holly but hopped off the table without putting it on to look at the image. “That's me?”

 

“Apparently, buddy.” Steve said, looking at the image. “I know nothing about this stuff, so don't ask me what any of it means.” Holly didn't say anything but she knew how smart Steve was. She had a feeling he could make some pretty good guesses as to what he was seeing.

 

“I can see some evidence of past injuries, if I'm seeing it right.” Holly pointed to the holograph's right arm. “You set your arm pretty well from what I can tell.” She pointed to what she could see was the most recent break. The fact that it was far from the first broke her heart alone with all the other injuries she could see. A look up saw a barely controlled look of both horror and almost anger on Bruce's face. He was after all, a doctor. He could tell better than her the story of the last 75 years from the scan and it was far from pretty.

 

Steve grimaced. “Sorry about that Buck.”

 

At Bruce's confused look, Holly elaborated. “During their fight on the helicarrier, Steve was forced to break James' natural arm.”

 

“It's okay Steve. I shot you and stuff.”

 

Steve smiled. “Yeah. And you pulled me out of the Potomac too.” He gently reminded his friend, not wanting to focus on the negative.

 

“From what I can see, those Hydra fuckers weren't exactly going for finesse with your arm.” Tony said bluntly, with a touch of disgust. “I'm guessing you have a fair bit of shoulder pain?”

 

James shrugged. “Sometimes. There's always a bit of an ache. And sometimes it feels like I can still feel my real arm?”

 

“It's called phantom limb syndrome. Unfortunately because Hydra doesn't care about anyone, they didn't do anything to help you with that before they did what they did.” Bruce said with a resigned sigh, taking off his glasses and rubbing at his eyes. “Have I mentioned I really hate these guys?”

 

“Can...can you make it better?”

 

“Let us work on it for a bit, Sergeant. I might need to have Dr. Simmons take a look at the scans too. Is that alright?” Bruce wanted to make sure that unlike Hydra, they asked James what he wanted.

 

“The British doctor?”

 

“Yeah, Dr. Outrageous. She's a biochemist and is a smart cookie, which is a lot coming from me.” Tony said without looking up from the information in front of him.

 

“Jemma helped Bruce when I was hurt in Bavaria, James.” Holly explained. “She was the one who thought up replacing my ribs with adamantium.”

 

“Is that like the stuff in Steve's shield?”

 

“Similar but less rare. Let's just say those ribs can never be broken again.”

 

He nodded. “That's an advantage, I guess.”

 

“It sure is, pal. Do you guys need Bucky for anything else?”

 

“Not right now Steve. The scan is going to have us busy for a while and I already have the blood sample the Sergeant gave when he first arrived. We'll let you know what we find, okay?”

 

“Thanks Dr. Banner. I appreciate you trying to help me.”

 

“It's not a problem. Believe me.”

 

“Come on Buck. Let's go get something to eat and maybe watch another movie. You liked that Steve McQueen guy right? We'll watch something of his.” Steve cajoled. It was obvious to Holly that he was also trying to distract himself from the sight of just how many internal injuries his best friend had suffered on top of the scars that were visible.

 

**Steve POV**

Later, Steve made his way down to the gym to find Holly. Bucky was working on his meditations with Bruce and Natasha up on the roof. Buck had insisted he would be okay, that he found the rooftop strangely comforting. No doubt because he could look out on the city that way. Maybe his friend realized how little time he'd been able to spend with his girl since they found the now former Winter Soldier. Holly had been a gem, not complaining or being demanding. She understood and took what time she could get.

 

From the hall, he could hear the familiar sound of someone beating the hell out of a sandbag. He rounded the corner to see that it was Holly. She had a look of extreme anger on her face as she pummeled the bag, attacking it from different angles, doing flying kicks and flips and different martial arts moves. Then she made him jump with a yell of rage before she did a backflip away from the back and the sandbag was snapped off it's reinforced cord by invisible hands and flew up only to be blasted into pieces by the lightening from her hands.

 

When she fell to her knees, panting for breath, he entered cautiously. He wanted to run in but had learned not to do that after seeing Natasha having a similar “conversation” with a sandbag and she'd nearly thrown a knife at him out of instinct.

 

“Holly?”

 

And he was right, her hands automatically rising up and glowing as she rolled into a defensive crouch. It only took a moment for her to recognize that there was no threat. “Steve?”

 

He held up his hands. “Yeah doll. It's me.” He looked to the slightly smoking remnants of the sandbag. “Can I ask what that sandbag did to deserve that?”

 

She blinked and lowered her hands and stood carefully. Her hands stopped their glowing and she looked at the remnants. “It's what....I was imagining it was Hydra. Just some faceless representation of them. That somehow I could just...make them pay for what they've done to my family.” She turned and looked at him. “Did you see the scans? I'm not a doctor but I couldn't even count the injuries he's healed from. On top of the ones that left those scars and then probably ones that didn't leave scars. And his arm!” Her voice choked. “He was just a kid! You were just a kid! Fuck!”

 

He crossed the room and pulled her into his arms. “And you were even younger than us when you started, doll.” He stroked her hair as she held onto him. “We're going to get Hydra. Make them pay for all of it. For what they did to Buck, to Trip, your parents, Starks', everyone. But going in enraged isn't going to help anyone.”

 

She sighed. “I know. I know.” She pulled back and looked up at him. “What do you suggest?”

 

“Well, Nat and Bruce are having a meditation session with Bucky up on the roof, so I was thinking we could have a home date night. Have a nice dinner, watch a movie? Just try to be normal?”

 

The smile on her face was a relief. “That'd be nice. But I definitely need a shower first. And oh, would you look at that?” She took a drop of sweat and dropped it on his arm. “You do too! Gee, I wonder what we can do about that!”

 

He chuckled. She was a minx, his girl. “Well, we really should conserve water. Protect the environment. Don't you think?”

 

She grinned. “I think it's the only responsible thing to do.” She linked her arms up around his neck as he rested his on her waist. “Wanna come up to my place, soldier? For a nice, hot, shower?”

 

He gave her waist a little squeeze. “That's a very nice offer ma'am. I'm looking forward to it.”

 

**Holly POV**

Holly laughed as Steve made his way back up to her bed, balancing a tray that was laden with a variety of foods and a case of water tucked under one arm. After their shower, dinner and the movie had been more than a little delayed. She had a feeling James would know that he'd probably have the apartment to himself for a while if not the night once Jarvis told him where Steve was.

 

“We're going to have to restock your kitchen. Fair warning.” He said with a smile, setting the tray down on the bed while she used her telekinesis to take the water out from under his arm and pull out a couple bottles, floating one to him. “Not exactly the kind of dinner I was thinking.”

 

She giggled as he made his way back to her in the bed, nonchalantly dropping his pants to get back under the covers with her. She was a very bad influence on him. Thank goodness. “We just started with dessert first.”

 

He playfully tapped his chin in pretend thought. There had been a lot of dessert. “Sounds good.” He leaned in and gave her a kiss. “I missed you.”

 

“I missed you too sweetheart.”

 

“I know this whole thing with Buck hasn't exactly had me being a very good boyfriend...”

 

She reached up and touched his lips with her fingertips. “You are the best boyfriend, Steve. Don't ever apologize about helping him. I understand completely. Besides, reunions are awesome.”

 

He chuckled. “That much I'll agree with. I'm a lucky guy, you know? I have the best girl a guy could even dream of and my best friend back. It's a huge difference from when they first thawed me.”

 

This time, she leaned up and kissed him. “Flatterer. You deserve so much Steve. I feel like I'm the lucky one.”

 

He gave her a soft smile, caressing her face. “And the hungry one too. Come on, we need to refuel. Tomorrow is the whole thing with Bucky's legal status and right now I just want to focus on you.”

She smiled and gave him a kiss. "I have absolutely no problem with that at all, sir."

 

**Steve POV**

“Okay, James, I'm going to have you talk to a couple friends of mine. We have to start thinking about your legal rights and make sure that when you are ready to go outside the Tower, no one can try to arrest you for what happened in Washington or before.”

 

“They could try.” Steve said darkly. No one was coming between him and Bucky again. It wasn't his fault, what happened to him. He wasn't to blame.

 

“Steve, the things I did, I would deserve it.” Bucky said with a disgust in his own voice. “That's just the things I remember.”

 

“No you don't! You were brainwashed! That wasn't you, Buck!”

 

“Steve, calm down.” Holly said, putting her hand on his arm. “He's right, James. You can't be blamed for what Hydra made you do. Do you feel comfortable enough to talk to my friends?”

 

Bucky looked between the two of them and nodded.

 

She opened the door and Steve was more than surprised to see the blind lawyer, Murdock and a heavier set long haired redhead and a blonde woman sitting at the long table with the young FBI agent Reid and another older and the more stern FBI agent, Hotchner. “James, this is Matt Murdock. He's a defense lawyer out of Queens and his partner, Foggy Nelson and their investigator Karen Page.”

 

All three nodded.

 

Then James furrowed his brow, his eyes on Matt. “Murdock. Nelson.” He paused. “They...they knew about you.” He was getting better about not automatically reciting what he'd been forced to learn about potential targets.

 

Matt turned his head in Holly's general direction confused before shaking his head to Foggy and Karen.

 

Holly spoke up again. “When everything with Hydra went down, those helicarriers that were destroyed. They....they had lists of undesirables that were going to be eliminated for their version of law and order. I was on that list. So were the both of you.”

 

“What? Why was I on the list?” Foggy said in shock. “Just because my name comes first on the plaque, that doesn't make me important!”

 

Matt shook his head, a slight quirk to his lips. “If they knew about me, then they would see you as a threat by association. I assume not everyone on their lists were who one would expect.”

 

“That's a good assumption. An association like Hydra operates in terms of black and white. Either you are with them, or you are against them. If they knew about your activities as Daredevil, then they no doubt knew of your record in the legal system as a champion of the underdog in Hell's Kitchen.” Agent Reid said in his normal quick way. “As for Holly, her family helping to found SHIELD made her a threat on top of the fact that she was a mutant. An association like Hydra, being an offshoot of the Nazis would see her as tainted.”

 

Foggy blinked and looked at a baffled Karen before looking at Reid. “How the hell do you know about him being Daredevil?” He looked to Holly who shook her head in the negative. She hadn't told her FBI friends anything. Steve knew that no matter how badly Murdock had hurt her, she wouldn't betray a trust like that or endanger him. Potentially break his jaw with a backhanded fist? Yes, absolutely. But cause him to get arrested as a vigilante when all he was doing was defending his home? Never.  
  


Reid shrugged. “As a profiler, it's actually quite obvious.”

 

Steve couldn't help but hide a smile behind his hand. He liked this Reid kid. When he and Holly had been down in Washington before the New Year, the kid had almost interrogated him with question after question before both Holly and Hotchner called out his name to make him stop. Steve didn't mind, he liked that the kid wanted to learn. That and the kid reminded him of himself before the serum though he would have loved to be that tall then.

 

The elder agent who hadn't said anything stood up and extended his hand. “Sergeant Barnes, I'm SSA Aaron Hotchner with the Behavioral Science Unit of the FBI. This is Dr. Spencer Reid. Captain, it's good to see you again.”

 

Bucky shook his hand with a nod and then Steve stepped forward and did the same. “I appreciate what your team did, Agent Hotchner, to try and help Holly find Bucky.”

 

“It was the least we could do for all the times she's helped us.” Hotchner said, taking his seat again. “Sergeant Barnes, I was also a US District Attorney, so I'll be working with Mr. Murdock and Mr. Nelson on your case while Reid and I add to your profile begun by Holly when we present to the President.”

 

Bucky shook his head. “Wait, wait. Profile? The President?”

 

Holly turned to him, placing her small hand on his cybernetic arm. “James, in order for us to try and clear your name, we have to prove that you are no longer a threat to the public as well as prove that you exhibit mental evidence of what Hydra did to you. Tony and Bruce already have the physical. The profile is nothing bad. It's just an explanation of who you are as a person. What drives you, your motivations.”

 

“Sergeant, since there's no need to tip toe around my own abilities, I should let you know that I can act as a human lie detector. I will be able to tell if you are being deceitful.” Matt spoke up, his voice soft and soothing. No doubt he'd learned to speak that way with upset clients.

 

“He can hear your heartbeat.” Foggy blurted. “And a bunch of other stuff that is actually really creepy that you really don't want to know about.”

 

Bucky nodded. “I won't lie. But...I don't remember everything.”

 

“We're going to work on that as best we can too.” Hotchner said. He looked up. “Captain Rogers, will you be staying?”

 

“Please, call me Steve and yes, I will if that's alright.”

 

The man nodded. “Steve. That will be fine. We need you and Holly to both sit behind Sergeant Barnes so you don't inadvertently coach him.”

 

“Hotch!” Holly said, sounding a bit hurt.

 

“Holly, you aren't unbiased on this. Don't pretend you are. Be thankful you've had as much input as you have.”

 

She sighed. “Fine.”

 

“And Sergeant Barnes, if you find it easier to speak in another language, I speak Russian as well as German. Holly can confirm the accuracy of my translation.”

 

Steve could see that Bucky was getting a bit overwhelmed. “One step at a time, Dr. Reid. Come on Buck. Let's see what they can do to help you.”

 


	43. Chapter 43

**Holly POV**

After a few hours, the group decided to take a break mostly for James' sake. With the help of Hotch and Reid, he was able to recall more thanks to their training as profilers. The BAU team had amassed quite the file on James' potential activities as the Winter Soldier with the help of SHIELD files and Jarvis. Holly stopped keeping track of the body count when they got to the 1970s. They'd barely gotten to the 1990s when Steve put his foot down and declared a break was needed.

 

Now, James was seated with Natasha and Reid over by some large open windows. Nat was talking him through meditation while Reid observed. Matt, Foggy and Hotch hadn't moved from the table and were quietly talking about statutes and international law. Holly had noticed that Karen had been as shocked as she had been at the sheer number of people James' had been forced to kill over the years. Foggy had mentioned she'd had a weird kind of connection with Frank Castle, The Punisher. Was she thinking about him now as she stood away from most everyone else, looking out a window? Or was it the fact that James was having trouble remembering doing much of it?

 

Holly looked up when Steve bumped her arm with the back of his hand, holding a cold soda for her. She'd been so lost in her thoughts she hadn't noticed him leave her side. She blurted the one thing she'd wanted to say for the last couple hours. “I should have warned you. About Matt. I just, I couldn't figure out how and I know it's really awkward. More than awkward.”

 

He shrugged a little, his blue eyes darting to the open door where Matt was making a series of points and counting them off on his hand. How strange had her life become where her exboyfriend, who was a blind metahuman vigilante lawyer was helping the long lost friend of her 95 year old boyfriend after he'd been brainwashed into possibly being the most successful and prolific assassin of the modern age for the last 70 years? “I won't lie, it was a bit of a shock.”

 

“I wouldn't have called in the favor if I didn't trust him or Foggy as lawyers. I wouldn't do anything to endanger James. You know that, right? For all his many many faults as a person, when it comes to this, you can trust him. I promise.”

 

Steve nodded, his eyes now watching James as he sat side by side with Natasha, both with their eyes closed, hands resting palm up on their knees. Reid was watching and texting on his phone. “If you trust him, that's enough for me.” He paused. “Doesn't mean I'm not tempted to clock him one for what he did to you. I'm guessing he knows about us and decided not to make a big deal?”

 

Holly sighed. Matt knew about them and he wasn't happy about it but had been smart enough not to say anything that would lead to him having a broken jaw. She could almost hear his thinking in her head and she wasn't even a telepath. He'd question if she really cared for Steve or if it was just a lifelong infatuation with the man she'd grown up hearing about and admiring. He'd question if Steve truly cared about her or if he was using her, whether consciously or subconsciously as a substitute for the woman he truly loved, Peggy.

 

“What did he say?” Steve pressed, moving closer and his voice lowering. “Tell me.”

 

She reached out and put her hand on his arm, seeing not jealousy in his eyes but his innate need to protect. Steve had no reason whatsoever to be jealous of Matt and both he and Matt knew that. Just the same, the way Matt was acting around her made her wonder if she'd have to actually tell him that he had a snowball's chance in hell with her, with or without Steve in her life. “He didn't say anything. I just...I know him. I can imagine what he's thinking. And I'm sure Foggy has plans to read him the riot act for just having those thoughts.”

 

Steve's posture relaxed as he spared a look to the room where the two partners were debating something, Foggy gesturing every which way. He started pacing and shaking his head as Hotch left the room and headed over to Karen who looked surprised to be approached by the FBI agent. Holly hadn't been the only one to notice her reaction or probably make the connection to what'd happened with The Punisher. “I like him, Foggy. Seems like a good man.”

 

She smiled. She knew the ginger lawyer would be over the moon to know the real Captain America thought he was a good man. She was surprised Foggy hadn't been gushing about actually being in Avengers Tower. “Everyone loves Foggy. He balances Matt out.” She took his hand. “I don't think Matt would make it a week without Foggy. They fight like cats and dogs but they love each other. Kind of like you and James.”

 

He raised their hands and pressed a kiss to her fingers. “Just wait until they leave to tell Buck or not about your past with Murdock. Otherwise he might end up with a broken jaw.”

 

“Aww, you really think that'd happen? That's sweet!” As protective as Steve was, James was showing that he could be just as protective if not more so. She wondered if it was how he was before the War or magnified after he broke away from Hydra. After everything he'd been forced to do, was he trying to compensate by being protective of his old friend's neice and his best friend's “best girl”? No matter the reason, it made her feel warm inside to have that kind of connection with the man who in appearance was younger than the three lawyers who were trying to clear his name but in actuality was old enough to be their grandfather.

 

He laughed. “Only you would think assaulting a blind man would be sweet.”

 

“I think it'd be awesome.”

 

They both turned to see Tony standing in the entryway to the lounge area looking none too pleased. “Hey Tony.”

 

“Sparks, you really went to Murdock to help Barnes? I can get you an entire room of lawyers and you reach out to the asshole who broke your heart?”

 

She sighed and ran both her hands through her hair. “Why is it that I'm the only one in this damn tower who is OVER that? It was 16 years ago, Tony. It's fine. And yes, while he can be an asshole, I trust him and Foggy as attorneys. More than that, Peggy trusted them. Besides, it's not like they are the only ones on the case.”

 

“I assure you, Mr. Stark, my past with Holly has no bearing on Sergeant Barnes' case beyond her request for our firm to look into it. I'm here to help Sergeant Barnes. Nothing more.”

 

Holly sighed. Why did she always forget about Matt's hearing? “I guess it's a good thing I pretty much said what I would say to your face, huh?” She turned to see the beginnings of a smirk on the man's face that contrasted with the utter embarrassment on Steve's face and the barely controlled look of contempt on Tony's.

 

“You've said worse. Asshole is a compliment after everything.” He said with a smile. “And I appreciate your advice, Captain, about not telling Sergeant Barnes about my past with Holly. I'd rather not find out what his cybernetic arm could do to my jaw.”

 

Steve clenched his jaw a touch before speaking. “Will you be able to help Bucky?”

 

“I think so. It's not going to be an easy road because of all the international issues involved as well as the body count. But it's a one in a million kind of situation. It will take time to completely build the case but we're going to do better than our best.”

 

Steve held out his hand and seemed surprised when Matt took it without any guidance. She was sure that thanks to his abilities, he knew where everyone in the room was just thanks to the sound of their voices reflecting off the walls and windows. “That's all I ask, Mr. Murdock. I appreciate you helping us.”

 

“Who is going to turn down Captain America?” Foggy said incredulously. “Besides, I'll streak through Manhattan during lunch for time spent with Miss Holly over here, even if it's reviewing over 70 years of hell and death. Actually, I think I'd prefer the streaking.”

 

She shook her head, loving how the man could defuse any situation without even trying and make most anyone smile. “Don't try and fool them Foggy. We all know about your regular Wednesday lunch activities.”

 

He grinned, snapping his fingers. “Damn, got me.” He turned his head to see everyone coming to join them where they were grouped together. “Natasha, my Russian dream, tell me my hopes have come true and you've given up on hero archers and have developed a taste for portly but sexy defense attorneys!”

 

That actually made James snicker, dropping his head and looking away to find an actual smile on Hotch's face that matched the one on Karen's. Matt just rolled his eyes and Steve was shaking his head but his eyes were bright.

 

“Sorry Nelson, you are just too much man for me.” Natasha flawlessly flirted right back. “But don't you worry, I'll let you know.” Then she gave him a wink before nodding to the others and grabbing Tony's arm none too gently. “We'll let you get back to work.”

 

“Wait, what? Come on!” Tony groused as she kept walking, forcing him to turn so he didn't stumble.

 


	44. Chapter 44

**Holly POV**

“Holly? Are you here?”

 

She looked up from her notes to see James standing in her doorway. He was dressed simply in a t-shirt that read Brooklyn Born across it and a pair of jeans. If it wasn't for his cybernetic arm, he'd look like any other 30 something leaning against a doorjam with their hands shoved in their pockets. There was no way to tell that he was actually older than Steve and was getting close to his 100th birthday.

 

He was improving at moving around the Tower on his own and spending time with others and not just Steve. It was easy to understand his need to cling to his friend, the one person who really understood what it was like to be a man out of time but he had to be able to handle it alone too. He was a bit wary of Tony but had been taken under Pepper's wing, much like Steve had been. Clint had gotten over his initial vehement outrage at James' presence in the Tower. James was reluctant to do anything like training, especially with guns or sniper rifles but had been intrigued to learn about using a bow. Sam Wilson had even visited and had assured James numerous times that there was no need to apologize for what'd happened in Washington, he was just glad to see James away from Hydra and reunited with Steve.

 

He hadn't left the Tower yet and it wouldn't be safe for him until his potential status as a wanted man from nearly every country in the UN was cleared. It was slow going considering that no one knew what to do when it came to effectively the longest known case of a prisoner of war, not to mention severe and continuous brainwashing. “Hi James, come on in!”

 

He gave her a smile and she could see the young man who had no trouble getting girls in that smile. It made her happy every time she saw it and deep down she knew it would have made Dum Dum happy too. That smile was the real Bucky Barnes, not who Hydra turned him into. Not the person he was scared was potentially lurking under the surface, the actions of which would always haunt him. “How are you? Working on our next lesson?”

 

She'd been teaching both James and Steve about the 20th century, catching them up not just on historical events but music, film and entertainment. It was interesting to note that James preferred the Beatles while Steve liked the Monkees. She did it year by year instead of the hodge podge way they had both been learning, Steve from suggestions and James from the brief times he'd been sent out by Hydra. Considering no one would hire her now as a college professor because of the fact that she had lied about being a mutant, it was something to do. “Actually, yes. Are you enjoying them? I hope I'm not too boring.”

 

He shook his head. “I like them a lot. I wish you'd been my teacher back in school, maybe I would have done better and not gotten into so much trouble with the nuns.” He smiled proudly. “See? I remembered that without any help.”

 

“Very good! What's up?”

 

“I wanted to return your book. Both Steve and I read it and it's very good. It helped me remember some good times.” In his hand was the copy of her book about Captain America and the Commandos. “Thank you for the dedication and the way you portrayed us. Not perfect, just guys doing a job. I liked that.”

 

“Thank you sweetie. My publisher wants me to update it since I wrote it before Steve was found or we knew you were alive.” At the slight panic on his face she added, “I wouldn't talk about the Winter Soldier, honey. No one needs to know anything you don't want them to. We could say you were frozen like Steve and we found you in a raid on a Hydra base.”

 

He contemplated this. “Why would they keep me frozen for so long?”

 

“In the hopes of using you against Steve somehow, maybe?”

 

“And my arm?” He indicated the shiny cybernetic one. Tony was working on making a new one that was more lifelike but just as strong but for now, the metal arm stood out.

 

“Believe me, in this world, that's not really anything too shocking. I have a friend upstate who can make his whole body look like your arm. Besides, none of that matters. You know we all but have your pardon from the President in the bag and from there it's just getting a UN resolution. You'll be exonerated finally.”

 

“Doesn't change what I did.”

 

“You didn't have a choice, James. It's like Clint blaming himself for what Loki made him do. Both of you fought against it and that is what matters.”

 

“I'm trying. I hope I can make up for it someday.” He looked and stepped over to her photo wall, silently looking over the pictures, smiling on occasion. Ironically when it came to Dum Dum's bowler, he did the same thing Steve did, touching the glass out of respect. He paused and pointed to the framed picture of Steve hugging her at Christmas. “Is this from when you gave him those pictures of his parents and me?”

 

Holly nodded, moving to join him. “Yeah. That's from Christmas on Asgard. I still can't believe we were on another planet. It was beautiful there. Maybe when you feel ready for it, Thor will have us back and you can come with us.”

 

“Really?”  
  


“Yeah, why not? It's an experience, that's for sure.”

 

James moved forward and looked at the other pictures, lingering on a few. “You've had quite the life.” He had a small smile on his lips as he lingered on the picture of her wearing Dum Dum's bowler with a mock stern expression. “Does it bother you that you didn't know your mom?”

 

“You mean my birth mother? No, not really. I mean, I don't remember her. All I ever remember is Peggy.” She shrugged. “I know stories about her and I've seen pictures and some old film of her fighting, but that's it. Peggy was my mom, Rose Dugan just gave birth to me. I know that sounds harsh but it's the truth.”

 

James nodded a little. “I get that. I don't remember my mom much either.” James had been around 10 when his mother and three younger sisters had died in a tuberculosis outbreak.

 

“But you do remember Sarah Rogers.” Who ironically had helped nurse Mrs Barnes and the girls only to succumb to the same disease 12 years later.

 

He smiled softly. “Yeah. She was an amazing woman.” He turned to her. “She would have loved you.”

 

“Aww, thanks.”

 

He looked back and paused, looking at the drawing Steve had given her for Christmas that added a few new members to the Howling Commandos. “Steve gave you this for Christmas?”

 

“Yeah he did.” His memory was getting better every day. “What do you think of it?”

 

“It's great, all his art is.” He peered closer. “I like how he has the hands on the shoulders.” He paused. “That was Gabe's grandson?”

 

Holly sighed, sending a silent warm thought to the afterlife for Trip. “Yeah, that's Trip. You would have liked him, he was a great guy. He would have been over the moon to meet you.”

 

“Steve said he died after Peggy. He was trying to save one of his teammates.”

 

“Yeah. Yeah he did. Some stuff happened that's really complicated having to do with aliens and well,” she took a breath, not wanting to think of Trip's last moments. “And we lost him. I'm the only Legacy left. Well, Tony and I are.”

 

James sweetly moved over and put his hand on her arm. “I'm sorry, Holly. Do you want to talk about something else? Or umm...how about ice cream? That always makes me feel better.”

 

She couldn't help but chuckle. “Steve mentioned that you had a rather sweet tooth. That works out because I do too. Why don't we go down to the common kitchen and see what's down there. Tony had a soft serve machine installed just for me.”

 

James' brows furrowed. “Soft serve?”

 

She grinned. This was going to be fantastic. “Yeah, it's ice cream that's whipped with extra air. It's awesome and a lot easier to put on a cone than scoops.” She grabbed his arm. “Come on sweetie, you are going to love this.”

 

**Steve POV**

Steve walked into the common area and was perplexed by the sight of Holly and oddly enough Bucky, splayed out together on one of the couches side by side, holding their stomachs. “Do I even want to know?”

 

“I introduced James to soft serve ice cream.”

 

Bucky opened his eyes with a groan but there was a lazy smile on his lips. Steve's mind flashed back to one of the many times they'd managed to scrounge up enough money to go on a burger binge at Pops. They'd eat until they could barely get up the steps to take the train back to Brooklyn. “It's fantastic, Steve. So much easier than scooping it. I had the biggest ice cream cone ever with those jimmie things we used to get as kids at that Just Born place in Brooklyn and I think my stomach is going to explode.”

 

“For the last time, they are called sprinkles!” Holly declared, waving her fist in the air and from the tone this apparently had been a source of contention.

 

“Were you alive when they were first created, in Brooklyn I might add? No. You weren't, but I was. They were called Jimmies then, that's what we're calling them now.”

 

“It just sounds dirty! What if they'd been called dickies? Would you want to call them that? Would you like some chocolate dickies on your ice cream?” She giggled at the end, amused with herself. Anyone else, he'd assume they were both drunk but he knew that neither could get drunk thanks to their versions of the serum. That was one thing they all had in common.

 

“That was just be ridiculous.”

 

“You're ridiculous.”

 

“Whatever.” Bucky rolled his eyes and elbowed her side making her smack at him with no real effort behind it. “I enjoy annoying her almost as much as annoying you, punk!”

 

“Awww!” Holly said with a smile, “That's sweet. I think.”

 

Steve couldn't help but laugh. He should have known that not only would they hit it off famously, the pair would eventually discover their shared love of anything sweet and sugary. It made him happy, to see his best friend doing something as simple as gorging on ice cream with, well, with the woman he was pretty sure he was head over heels in love with. He just wasn't sure how to say it or tell her.

 

“Earth to Steve. Calling Captain Rogers, over.” Holly teased, bringing him out of his thoughts, talking into her hands. “Do you read, Captain Rogers, over.”

 

He shook his head. “I read you loud and clear, over.”

 

“Requesting immediate pick up and evac to my apartment because I'm pretty sure I can't move on my own, over.”

 

“Pick up is on route, hang on, over.”

 

He couldn't help but grin at her giggles at how he'd gone along with her silly request to be carried and moved around the couch and squatted down in front of her, facing away. “Rogers' Taxi Service.”

 

“Ooh, and the driver is cute too. My lucky day.” She giggled again and in his peripheral, Steve could see Bucky absently helping her to sit up and she wrapped her arms around his neck, scooting forward just enough to put her legs around his waist.

 

“What's the address, lady?” He let his Brooklyn accent out and cheered mentally at the snort that came from Bucky. Holly giggled, obviously enjoying his silly side.

 

“Oh, it's 1969 Avengers Avenue in Manhattan. 45th floor, please.”

 

He linked his arms under her knees and stood up, amazed at how light she was. “I thought you said you ate a ton of ice cream. I can barely feel you at all.”

 

“You have super strength, punk. And she's tiny to begin with.”

 

Steve turned, making Holly squeal at the purposeful suddenness. “Just for that, your sorry ass is walking!”

 

He headed for the elevator and laughed as Bucky called out “My ass is not sorry!”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, sprinkles were invented in Brooklyn and yes they were initially called jimmies. Interesting fact, the Just Born company is still around. They are the ones who make Good N Plenty.


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little chapter....and just so you know, it's not going to become the "Bucky's Back" show but he will continue to play a big part. 
> 
> Feedback is most welcome....suggestions even more so! Thanks!

**Steve POV**

“I guess it works out that I don't have much stuff to move with.” Bucky commented, a sack of clothes over his shoulder. It brought back memories of the day he'd left to ship out with the 107th. “Are you sure Thor didn't mind changing apartments?”

 

“He's hardly ever here, Buck. He spends most of his time when he's on Earth in New Mexico with his girlfriend Jane. Believe me, he was fine with it.” Steve explained. “Are you sure you're ready to have your own place?”

 

Bucky nodded, giving Steve a small smile. “Yeah. I'll be okay. You're right down the hall anyway, just like when we were kids. And Holly is below you and Natasha and Clint are right below me.” What he didn't say was what he'd said when it was just the two of them. He didn't want to be the third wheel, especially since Steve had a girl that he clearly didn't deserve, a comment made with a smirk and laugh.

 

“And if you want or need anything, Jarvis will help you.” Holly added, walking with the pair toward Bucky's new apartment.

 

“I will certainly endeavor to assist as best I as I am able.” Jarvis' disembodied voice confirmed.

 

“Now the apartment should have the furniture you picked out, but the rest of us added a few little decorative pieces for you, James. I hope you don't mind.”

 

“You didn't need to. It's nice enough that I don't have to try and pay for this place or anything.”

 

Holly rolled her eyes. “Oh christ now there's two of you. Sweetie, Tony could practically pay the rent of everyone in New York City and still have plenty left over. The apartment was going to waste with Thor never using it. Believe me, you're doing Tony a favor. And I'm not hurting for money myself, none of us are, really.”

 

They approached the door and Bucky took a deep breath. “Is it weird that I'm a little scared that I'll open the door and Zola and Pierce will be standing there with their machines?”

 

Steve grimaced, glad Bucky wasn't looking at him and looked down when Holly gave his arm a squeeze. Her eyes were sad and he knew that now that she knew Bucky herself, it broke her heart what had been done to him over the years. “You know that won't happen. They are dead, long dead. We would never allow anything near you that would hurt you.”

 

Bucky nodded. “Yeah, I know. It's just a lot of years of that shit in my head, you know?”

 

“Well let's have this be the start of good shit in your head then.” Holly said with a slightly forced smile. “Come on, Mr. Barnes, let's check out your new place.”

 

“Okay.” With his natural hand, Bucky opened the door and after a moment stepped into the remodeled apartment. Much like his and Holly's, it was more of a loft style, since Bucky didn't do well with enclosed spaces. Steve didn't care for them either even though he didn't really remember being entombed in the ice. The decorations were light, obviously so that Bucky would be able to add what he liked to it himself. He noted the plush furniture and the large entertainment center. Along a wall there were a few photographs and even a few posters, including an old war propaganda one that had been made promoting Captain America and the Howling Commandos.

 

Bucky noticed that immediately and after dropping his haversack near the door, walked over to look. “Holly did you find this?”

 

“It's from my own collection, sweetheart. It was my favorite among the various things they made up during the war, even if it doesn't include Peggy.”

 

He looked up at it in almost awe, even though Steve was sure this was one of the ones that were displayed at the Smithsonian exhibit. “Christ, were we really that young once?”

 

Steve chuckled. “We are still that young, old man. Maybe a little wiser, in my case.”

 

The roll of Bucky's eyes made his day. “Whatever.” He looked at the other pictures, including a copy of the one Holly had found for him for Christmas, the pair of them at the 1938 World's Fair. There were a few of Steve's drawings and a few more recent pictures.

 

“There's plenty of room for you to add more pictures or posters, James. Just let Jarvis know what you want and he can get it for you.” Bucky had money of his own, being paid as if he had been missing in action for the last 70 years instead of being declared dead. He was officially considered the longest surviving POW ever. That itself was going a long way in getting him cleared of charges for what he was forced to do over the years.

 

Bucky nodded. “Yeah, that'd be good.”

 

They had both been waiting for it but the look of wide eyed surprise came when Bucky finally saw the baby grand piano sitting facing them, near the window. “Wait, where'd that come from?”

 

“The piano factory.”

 

It was all Steve could do to keep from laughing at the near growl that came from Bucky's chest.

 

“Sweetheart, that's our welcome to your new home gift. It's from all of us. Just a little something so that when you want to, you can play in the middle of the night or whenever you want. But if you don't want to play alone, you come right to me. Anytime, day or night.”

 

He smiled weakly as they walked over to the large instrument, gleaming from the sunlight reflecting off it's shiny mahogany exterior. “It's beautiful.” He moved around it and found a small frame that held within it the very same card that they would place on the table advertising songs or a portrait, 25 cents. It was a bit beat up, slightly yellowed and creased, but was still in one piece by some miracle. Could be said for the both of them too. “You....you had it?” The shock in Bucky's eyes was like a child. “Is this the same one?”

 

Steve nodded, grateful for the brush of fingertips against his knuckles from Holly at his side. “Yeah, it is. Of course I kept it. Now it's yours.”

 

Then Holly did something that Steve would always remember. Quietly, she stepped over to the kitchen and retrieved a small glass bowl and placed it on the piano, next to the sign. Then from her pocket, she retrieved a quarter and placed it in the bowl. “And I get to be your first customer.”

 

Steve honestly didn't know if Bucky was going to cry or kiss her, but the smile he gave her gave him the shivers. That was his best friend, the Bucky from before the war, before Hydra, shining through. “Okay. Alright lady, what do you wanna hear?”

 

* * *

 

Holly snuggled into his side as they relaxed in bed, just having time together. “Are you worrying about him?”

 

“A little. I know he's down the hall but after everything he's been through, there are times I'm afraid that if I'm not right in the room with him that something will happen.”

 

“I understand.” Her fingers traced up and down his arm as they rested in the dark. “It was like that for Nat and I after the Battle of NY. Remember how I told you we did a Delta Roadtrip back to California? I think the only time any of us was alone was when we were using the bathroom. Even sleeping, it was all three of us in one bed, Nat on one side of Clint and me on the other. Nothing was going to get to him again.”

 

He nodded, his own hand absently stroking her hair. “Yeah I remember you telling me. It was the way you dealt with losing Coulson too, right?”

 

“Yeah.” She leaned up and kissed his cheek softly. “And how we both dealt with Peggy. You're human, sweetheart. After all the two of you have gone through, I don't blame you for being afraid to look away from him. He's your brother, you love him.”

 

“Even when I had nothing, I always had Bucky. Until then suddenly I didn't. And then, he was back but he didn't know me.”

 

“But we brought him home. And you'll always have him just like you'll always have me.” She kissed his cheek again. “He's safe. Jarvis is going to keep an eye on him and he knows to come here if he needs to. Relax and sleep.”

 


	46. Chapter 46

**Steve POV**

“If someone needs to stay behind with Barnes, I'll do it.” Bruce spoke up from where everyone had gathered to discuss the mission ahead, namely taking down a Hydra base. Bucky still wasn't legally clear so he couldn't necessarily leave the tower and Holly had brought up the potential for an attack on the tower if they knew Bucky was there. It hadn't been announced as of yet but was a very poorly kept secret.

 

“And what if we need the Big Guy to get us out of a jam?” Tony piped up. “The most he'll do here is smash the hell out of the place and give our insurance adjustor hemorrhoids.” He paused. “No offense.”

 

Bruce waved his hand with a little smirk on his lips. It was a bit of a running joke considering the amount of damage the Hulk could inflict on his surroundings.

 

“Why not just keep the Iron Legion on patrol since you rebuilt them?” Holly spoke up. “Jarvis is more than capable of keeping the Tower in one piece as well as help James if something goes wrong. I think we're also forgetting James is more than capable of taking care of himself.”

 

“Thanks Holly, but I don't think I'm that capable. Not like I was before. If they came for me...” He paused before continuing. “If they tried, they wouldn't be using kid gloves. I'm not the asset anymore. It wouldn't be an attempt to capture.”

 

Steve felt like if he'd been holding a piece of coal right then, it would have been a diamond from the fist he was clenching behind his back. How could Bucky talk so easily about Hydra coming to kill him? There was no way he was going to let that happen. Ever.

“Well we need Katniss' eyes and bow, so he's out.” Tony spoke up again. “Ladies, who wants to volunteer?”

 

“I'll stay. Nat is better at computer crap than I am and I know this city better than she does and well, better now than James does if we had to make an escape. If something was to happen, I'm the best person to have with him. Not that I think even Hydra is stupid enough to try to hit the Tower.”

 

Steve sighed, not liking the idea of leaving the two people he cared most about behind when there was even the slimmest chance of an attack. But Holly was right. She knew the city and more than that, she knew the Tower and all of Stark's gadgets and things. She'd be able to put up a fight or if she had to, get them out of the Tower and somewhere safe until the team could get back. “I don't like it, but it makes sense.”

 

“It'll be fine Steve. It's better to be safe than sorry. I have Jarvis, an entire arsenal and my own suit if need be.” She held up her wrist, reminding him of Stark's gift to her on her birthday, namely her own suit, the Iron Jedi. “I'll monitor you guys from here and you'll be back before you know it.”

 

Steve looked to Natasha, seated just beyond Holly. She gave the slightest nod. Natasha wouldn't agree if she didn't think both of them would be safe. He had to stop not wanting Bucky out of his sight. That wouldn't help either of them deal with what they'd been through, both together and alone in the last century. “Alright. Good. Let's go over the mission then.”

 

**Holly POV**

Holly stood with James at the window, watching the QuinJet head off for Detroit, where the potential Hydra base was. She knew Steve didn't like leaving either of them behind, let alone both but it was the best option. “Jarvis? Lock it down until the kids come back from their playdate. Full tactical alert, monitor the radio, radar and satellites.”

 

“Of course, Holly. The airspace within 10 miles of the Tower in each direction is clear of any traffic and I am blocking any unauthorized signals for a three block radius. I believe we are, as you like to say, five by five.”

 

She grinned. “That's my boy.” She turned to James who looked intrigued. “This is not my first rodeo, sometimes I think Steve forgets that. I've been doing this longer than he has.”

 

“I can't blame him for worrying. I mean, you might have a secret weakness for one armed men that you don't know about...” He trailed off, an impish little smirk on his lips. He'd been showing more and more of his personality as he grew more comfortable and relaxed in the Tower.

 

She rolled her eyes. “Keep dreaming, Gramps.”

 

“Whatever. Stay in denial.” He yawned. “Let's look at the information for the mission again. Maybe we can figure out something that will help them when they get there.”

 

“Sounds good to me. It's a little early to be yawning like that, don't you think?”

 

“Woke up early and I couldn't go back to sleep. It's catching up with me. I know I've stayed up for days before thanks to whatever they did to me but not tonight.”

 

“It's because you feel safe. If you were in fight or flight mode, you'd be wired probably. If you want to go lay down, feel free. They probably won't be back until late anyway. I can have Jarvis wake you if there are any developments.”

 

Another yawn kept James from replying for a minute. “Alright, I guess that's my answer. Thanks angel. I guess I really am an old man. It's not even 9.”

 

“Sweetie, when you are tired, you are tired. Sleep is sleep especially for people in our line of work. Go, rest.” She gave him a gentle push.

 

“Alright I'm going.” He gave her a wave and headed for the elevator, yawning and cursing it under his breath.

 

 

**Steve POV**

“Captain Rogers, welcome back. Holly instructed me to ask you to go to Sergeant Barnes' quarters as soon as you arrived back. She's attending to him from an apparent nightmare.” Jarvis spoke to him via his earpiece instead of via the speakers in the building and a quick look told him that neither Stark or Natasha had heard the AI's words.

 

Steve stopped short. Holly had gone in to help Bucky? Of course she had. Jarvis was told to contact either himself or her if there was any sign of Bucky in trouble. He'd gone without a nightmare for weeks now, to the point of actually getting a good night rest for the first time in years. What was she thinking? If Bucky lashed out, which he had done unconsciously a couple times, he could very easily hurt her. He moved far enough so the others couldn't hear him and spoke quietly. “Jarvis, what are their conditions, please?”

 

“They are both at normal heartrate and breathing. Holly made no calls of distress.”

 

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you Jarvis. I'll head right down.”

* * *

 

He carefully stepped into the quarters to find that Bucky must have been napping on the sofa in his living room when he began having the nightmare because that was where he found Holly, sitting at his side, holding his hand and stroking his hair, quietly singing. He stopped for a moment and realized she was singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow. A smile came to his lips. Of course she would know to sing a song that Bucky would actually recognize, even half asleep. It was ironic that she would sing to calm Bucky considering his own mother used to hum to Bucky when he would come over in the middle of the night after escaping his father's belt or fist.

 

She finished the song and kept stroking his hair until she was sure he was sleeping deeply and quietly moved to where Steve was waiting. Jarvis had probably told her he was coming via her contacts so not to wake Bucky. He'd changed out of his uniform upstairs and had put his shield down just inside the door of his apartment. He closed the door behind them as they walked together toward his quarters. “How bad was it?”

 

She sighed. “Pretty bad. I don't know if he'll remember the dream or even me going in to help him. I don't think he woke up completely even though he did say my name. He went to lay down not too soon after you guys left. He was so tired and said he woke up early. The nightmare might have just come from the exhaustion. We'll have to watch for that in the future.”

 

“You shouldn't have gone in there alone.”

 

“Steve, I'm not afraid of James and I'm not going to start. Jarvis was monitoring, I was fine.” They started walking toward Steve's apartment. “How'd the rest of the mission go?” She'd monitored to the point where it was obvious she couldn't do anything to assist them because what they'd expected the base to be was far from what it had been.

 

“Alright. Didn't run into Hydra at all. Cowards had run off before we got there like you guessed. Managed to snag some information from the computers before that set off a timer to a bomb.”

 

“Son of a bitch, that's predictable. They left a trap behind, as per usual. I'm assuming everyone was okay since I didn't get an alert from Jarvis.”

 

“Yeah. Barton was outside watching the perimeter and Stark was flying above so I just grabbed Natasha and dove out the window.” He shrugged it off. “It's kind of strange how many explosions I've experienced in her presence.”

 

Holly laughed and rolled her eyes. “I think both Clint and I have said the same. I used to ask her why people kept trying to blow her up.”

 

“Her answer?”

 

“Because they know they can't take me in a fair fight.” She deadpanned, making them both chuckle. Classic Natasha.

 

Reaching out to take her arm like a gentleman, Steve stopped short when Holly hissed in pain when he touched her arm. Without asking, he carefully pushed her sleeve up and grimaced at the handshaped deep bruise that had begun to form. No doubt caused by Bucky's cybernetic hand. “I thought you said he didn't lash out.”

 

She looked down at her arm, surprised to see the bruise from the way her eyebrows rose up at the sight of it. “He grabbed my arm Steve. He didn't hit me or choke me. It's nothing. He wasn't awake, it's not his fault.”

 

“How bad does it hurt?”

 

She shook her head. “It doesn't.” She flexed her arm cautiously. It looked painful and he knew she wouldn't tell him that out of concern for Bucky. “It's just a mild bruise. It's nothing to worry about. If it gets bigger, I'll ask Bruce to look at it, alright?”

 

He sighed. He was too tired to argue this right now. He felt punchy after a wasted trip to Michigan of all places. He just wanted to curl up with his lady and get some good old fashioned shut eye. “Alright. Come on, I'm beat. Let's go to bed.”

 

 

**Holly POV**

 

“Holly, what happened to your arm?”

 

“Oh it's nothing James. Just a bruise.” She'd almost forgotten about it until he mentioned it and cursed mentally. She should have worn a long sleeve shirt until it healed. She'd had to do that a few times visiting Tony after missions when she was with SHIELD. Even making up stories to explain injuries had sometimes been necessary. The serum worked quickly to heal, but not fast enough sometimes. It'd been too long since she'd had to hide an injury from someone.

 

Holly held her breath as the man moved closer to look at the bruise. It wasn't going to take more than a few seconds for him to figure out where it came from and how it was caused. “Wait, that's from a hand.” He paused and put his own hand over it without touching her skin. “Oh god, it's from my hand. Last night, I thought I dreamed you singing but you were there? What did I do?”

 

She put down her plate, having been getting some breakfast from the buffet that Tony had put out every Sunday morning for the whole team and whoever was staying with them at the time, either it was Coulson's team, Asgardians or various other personalities. She was cautious as she turned, her heart breaking at the pained guilty look on James' face. Over his shoulder, she saw Steve looking concerned in the doorway and Tony with a furrowed brow and a mouthful of pancakes. He'd been hesitant about letting James stay in the Tower, considering his formerly brainwashed status and ability to kill. Causing someone injury unconsciously wasn't helping his case.

 

“James? Sweetheart, listen to me. It's nothing. You had a nightmare and grabbed my arm when I was calming you down. You were asleep and didn't know what you were doing. It will heal in a couple days. Alright?”

 

He shook his head, one hand running through his black hair and gripping in anguish. “No, no it's not alright. I could have killed you! What if I grabbed your throat?”

 

It was obvious that he was close to having a full on panic attack. Sadly considering the amount of abuse and brainwashing he'd endured and fought against had left James with acute anxiety and PTSD. He'd had panic attacks before and they weren't pretty. Steve moved forward from his spot a few feet away and she gave him the slightest push backwards with her telekenesis to tell him to wait without distracting the man in front of her. The last thing he needed right now was to know his best friend was ready to step in to protect her from him. He'd had to restrain James before but she wanted to avoid that if they could.

 

She took a chance and moved closer, taking his unshaven face in her hands. Physical contact to make him focus, keeping eye contact to make him see she wasn't scared or lying. “James, I am not afraid of you. You didn't hurt me. I can handle myself. If I had to, I could have tasered you with my grafts or mentally thrown you across the room, not that I would want to. Jarvis would have filled the room with sedative gas if he thought I was in danger. Do you understand? It's just a bruise. I'd do it again to help you sleep better.”

 

James closed his eyes and rested a hand on her wrist. “I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't mean to, honest.” The guilt and shame in his voice was near physical and it broke her heart.

 

“It's okay sweetheart. Really. It's nothing. Come on, let's have some breakfast. Alright?”

 

He opened his eyes, his blue, so different from Steve's, looking into hers. “Okay.” When she moved her hands, he gently touched her wrist again. “Will you have Bruce look at it though? Just in case? Please?”

 

She nodded. “Sure, James. I can do that. If it will make you feel better.”

She managed not to laugh at the sound of a huff of air coming from Steve's nose as he rolled his eyes. Sure, she'd get checked out for James but not when he asked. She turned and looked to see Tony giving her a curious raised eyebrow. She mouthed the words I'm fine to him and picked up her plate again. So much for a quiet breakfast.

 

 

 

 


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a huge chapter....there was no good way to break it up without making it tiny useless chapters. Be prepared for a bit more guest appearances from the Marvel universe! 
> 
> Please please please comment!

**Steve POV**

 

The car pulled up to a mansion that looked like it belonged in Europe as a castle and Steve immediately noticed a few obvious security precautions, cameras, lights and probably more that he would see if he looked for them. He had no doubt that there was infinitely more that he wouldn't expect and neither would anyone coming here with malicious intent. It was understandable considering just how violent people seemed to get in regards to mutants. It made him sad that 70 years had gone by and intolerance hadn't gone away or lessened, it just found a different target.

 

“Are you sure they can help me, Holly?” Bucky asked from the passenger seat as Holly parked the car. They had made the trip upstate to Westchester so Bucky could talk to Professor Xavier and hopefully work on getting rid of the last of the effects of the Hydra brainwashing he'd repeatedly endured and maybe even help with his nightmares and memories. He was right on the cusp but after being brainwashed so many times, he needed a little extra help. He didn't want there to be another close call like the other night.

 

“Sweetheart, I wouldn't bring you here if I didn't think the professor would help you. Don't worry, these are friends. No one will hurt you here.” She looked up at the building. “I've spent a lot of time here. This is where my mom learned to use her abilities and where I trained when my gift manifested. They can help you too.”

 

He sighed looking down at his hands, the diffused light reflecting off his left wrist before he tugged down the sleeve and pulled on the glove he used to cover his left hand. “I'm just nervous, I guess.”

 

“It's understandable Buck. But Holly and I are here with you, okay?” It was Bucky's first real trip out of the city and pretty much the Tower since they'd found him a few weeks ago so he had the anxiety of being outside of that protection from Hydra on top of everything else.

 

The long haired man nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

 

As they got out of the car, a man and a woman came out of the house. They were both about Holly's age, the woman had long red hair while the man wore strange red lensed sunglasses. Steve was confused, considering it was cloudy out, but dismissed it. Holly turned and smiled at the pair. “Jean! Scott! It's good to see you!”

 

“When the professor said you were coming, we thought we should be the ones to welcome you.” Scott replied, a smile on his face as he gave Holly a hug, lifting her off her feet a bit.

 

After Holly hugged both of them, she turned back to Steve and Bucky. “Boys, may I introduce Dr. Jean Grey and Scott Summers. Jean, Scott, this is Steve Rogers and James Barnes.”

 

They exchanged polite handshakes. Steve was interested in meeting the people that Holly trusted to help Agent Skye after she gained her abilities back in November. Not to mention the people that had helped her as a young mutant herself.

 

“Not every mutant stands out in a crowd, James.” Jean said with a patient and welcoming smile.

 

Bucky startled and Steve was confused. He didn't hear Bucky say anything. “How....”

 

“Jean is a telepath and a telekinetic, like Holly but a bit stronger.” Scott explained.

 

“I wasn't probing your thoughts, that would be rude. But sometimes surface thoughts can come through a bit loudly.” Jean further explained, a gentle understanding smile on her face.

 

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be...I just haven't met very many mutants.” Bucky stumbled. “I mean, that I know about. I mean, you know.” It was obvious the last thing he wanted to do was offend the people he was asking to help him.

 

“There are more of us than you would think.” Scott said with a shrug. “And like Jean said, not every mutant is easily seen as one.”

 

“Can I ask how you two know Holly?” Steve asked, curious. “I'm going to guess it's not simply from being potential classmates.”

 

“Holly was undercover at my high school when my abilities were beginning to show. She helped direct me to the professor.” Scott explained. “As well as cover up what I accidentally did to the school's gym.” He scratched at the back of his neck when Holly snickered a little along with Jean.

 

“What did you do?” Bucky asked, his tone curious.

 

Scott raised his eyebrow to the two telekinetics. “Ladies, who'd like the opportunity?”

 

“Let Holly do it.” Jean said with a half smile. “You don't use your ability enough even after being outed publicly.”

 

Holly rolled her eyes. “I don't need to, Miss Nosy.” With a sigh, she turned to Scott. “Will that old boulder do?”

 

With a nod, she reached out with her hand and the boulder, easily 50 yards away and a few hundred pounds lifted into the air. Scott reached up to his sunglasses and lowered them slightly. His eyes were closed but when they opened, a red energy exploded from them and vaporized the boulder. He closed his eyes again, pushing the glasses back up. “Imagine that, but a high school gym ceiling.”

 

Steve blinked, impressed. “How did you ever cover that up?”

 

Holly grinned. “Easy. Evidence of poor construction of the ceiling. No witnesses to say otherwise. School ended up getting a whole new gym out of it.”

 

“Do you have to wear those glasses?”

 

“Yes, ruby quartz is able to keep the blasts in control.”

 

“And you, Dr. Grey?” Steve asked.

 

“Holly was taking night classes at NYU when she wasn't off saving the world or helping kids with powers they couldn't understand. I had to introduce myself when I found it was harder to read her thoughts.”

 

At Steve's confused look, Holly explained. “Standard SHIELD training since the 60s when the Professor first met my father. Not every telepath is friendly, so they came up with ways to block them. A way to build walls in your head to keep them out or alert you to someone trying to attack.”

 

The group started walking toward the main building, Holly chatting with Jean about the grafts Tony designed giving her extra abilities as they walked into a finely decorated entryway of polished wood and carpet, a large stairway facing them. Absently he wondered if Xavier was as rich as Stark or if the tuition was that high.

 

“Pretty quiet for a school.” Steve commented outloud as they followed Jean and Scott up the stairs. The building felt almost empty.

 

“Most of the students are in class or in training. The school itself is much bigger than it looks.” Scott explained. “We have underground facilities to protect the students from attack and...”

 

“Looks like we have some...guests.”

 

The five turned to see a short bulky looking man standing at the top of the second flight of stairs, smoking a huge cigar with a critical look on his face. He was dressed casually in a flannel and jeans, his black hair strangely seeming to almost come to points. He held himself with confidence, his dark eyes guarded. He seemed to be a man who didn't trust easily.

 

“Yes Logan, you remember Holly, don't you?” Jean said with a patient tone. Steve couldn't help but notice the distasteful look on Scott's face at the appearance of the man who had interrupted him. Apparently there was no love lost between the two who looked by appearances to be complete opposites. Scott seemed like a clean cut young college graduate while Logan looked like a drifter.

 

“Little Holly Dugan. Looking good, kid. Been awhile. I've heard you and I have something in common now, thanks to that maniac Doom.”

 

Holly nodded at the man with an amused twist to her lips. “Yeah.” She patted her left side at the confused look of those around them. “Three of my ribs and my sternum are adamantium now.”

 

Without asking, Logan raised his clenched fists and 4 long shiny claws came sliding out of the backs of his hands. Steve wondered just how much damage they could do, being made of such an indestructible material. He wagered this Logan wasn't exactly one to back away from using them. He probably enjoyed it.

 

Steve didn't expect the visceral reaction from Bucky, who stumbled backwards on the landing, toward the wall. A quick look saw fear, recognition and panic on his old friend's face. He looked to Holly who immediately moved with him to Bucky's side, her own eyes confused. “James, sweetheart, what is it?”

 

“I...I know him.”

 

“Sorry bub, I don't know you.” Logan said, taking no care at Bucky's reaction to him as he puffed on his cigar, his claws retracting back into his hands and the skin immediately healing over where they erupted from as he descended the stairs. Convenient. “Must be mistaking me with someone else.”

 

Steve moved in front of Bucky slightly, in case this guy was a threat. How did Bucky know him?

 

“Logan, have you ever encountered someone called the Winter Soldier?” Holly asked quietly, turning to look at the rough sounding man. The simple deduction made sense and Steve could have kicked himself for not realizing it. This was Bucky's first real trip out since they'd brought him back to the Tower only weeks earlier. It was bound to happen that they'd run into someone from his past. Steve just didn't think it would be the first trip.

 

That made him stop short. “How'd you know about that? It was before you were even born, back in 79 or so. In Russia after I got the adamantium. Did Charles tell you?”

 

Steve felt Bucky tap him to move and stood up straight, pulling off his own flannel shirt and pushing up the sleeve of his tshirt, fully showing his cybernetic arm. He took a deep breath. “Because that's who I am...was.”

 

Logan immediately went into a defensive stance, his claws popping out again, a growl coming from deep in his throat as he clenched his cigar in his teeth. “Kid, you and your friend move away from him. Bastard and I have a discussion we never finished.”

 

Steve couldn't have been more proud of Holly as she immediately took an equal defensive stance in front of Bucky, her fisted hands beginning to glow with what she'd termed Force Lightning. No doubt her collapsible staff would be pointless faced with his claws. He wished he hadn't left his shield behind. “Back down Logan. Right. Now. He was brainwashed when you encountered him and isn't to blame for any of that. It was 35 years ago.”

 

“Defending killers now?” The man snarled, claws still out.

 

“I'm defending my friend. You are one to talk about being a killer.”

 

“I don't want to hurt you kid, don't make me.”

 

Holly's fists grew brighter, the crackle of electricity audible and both Jean and Scott moved closer, watching the pair. They weren't interfering, not yet anyway. “You can try, old man. I have new tricks. You are NOT touching him.” He could sense the tension in her body and knew she was already planning a way to get this guy as far from Bucky as she could. Steve hoped he could back her play without causing too much damage to the school. If they could get him outside, that could help. Holly could probably mentally throw him through the doors. A look to Dr. Grey saw her give him a slight nod. She must have picked up on what he was thinking.

 

Steve wasn't prepared for the sound of a cultured voice to boom in his head, making him grimace and grip his skull. _Logan, enough! Sergeant Barnes is our guest!_

 

The man turned to where a well dressed bald man in a wheelchair that looked powered by Stark technology floated down the stairs. Holly didn't seem to be affected by the voice, instead she had moved to Bucky, her hands no longer glowing and gently prying Bucky's own from their grip on his hair, cooing that it was just the professor and it was alright. Xavier had managed to project his thoughts into their minds with ease. It was a unique experience.

 

“Charles, do you even know who he is? What he's done?”

 

“Yes, I do Logan. He is here for my assistance and will receive it, much as you did when you first came here. There are many who would have made the same judgment about you then.” His face changed from stern to warm. “Holly, it does me well to see you again.”

 

“Hello Professor.” Holly greeted, giving him a nod but keeping in physical contact with Bucky and still keeping a cautious eye on Logan. “I didn't mean to nearly have a fight on the landing. Not exactly proper behavior for a guest, my apologies.”

 

“No matter. You were in the right.” He held out his hand to Steve. “Captain Rogers, it's an honor. I've wanted to meet you for many years.”

 

Steve shook the man's hand, noticing that his name made Logan react. He wasn't letting his guard down, especially around anyone who had a near four decade long grudge against Bucky and still had indestructible claws extended. “Professor, I've heard great things.”

 

“Rogers?” Logan interrupted, his claws retracting suddenly. “You're Captain America?”

 

“Yes, I am.” Steve said giving the short man a cold look as he stood up straight and looking at him like he might have an Hydra operative. No one messed with Bucky when he was around. By the look on Holly's face, that went for her as well. She had a satisfied look on her face at his reaction.

 

“Shit.”

 

Jean no doubt saw the confusion on his face and explained. “Steve, Logan's mutant ability is his healing factor which also shows his aging process to a crawl. The augmented claws came later. He fought in World War 2 for Canada. I'm sure he's very familiar with your legend.”

 

“Do I want to know how old you are?”He looked to be in his late 30s or early 40s but had lived a hard life. It was actually very hard to tell. Then again, looking at himself, one would think he was in his late 20s, not late 90s.

 

“Let's just say I was at Antietam.” Logan said, sounding a bit embarrassed, breaking eye contact. All gruff and bravado was gone now. “Sorry, Cap. Didn't realize who you were.”

 

With that, the man left, leaving behind a trail of cigar smoke.

 

“And that's Logan for you.” Scott said dismissively. “Sorry about that.”

 

Bucky shook his head, taking a deep breath. “It's something I will have to get used to. Encountering people I might have met before but can't remember. People I've affected.” He looked to Xavier. “Can you really help me, sir?”

 

The man gave him a comforting smile.“I will do everything in my power. Why don't we go to my office and talk? Would that be alright? I assure you, you are safe here.” If certain thoughts were rather easy to pick up, Steve wondered if Bucky's anxiety was almost shouting at the Professor. Did that hurt?

 

Bucky nodded, his eyes wide. “Okay.” He turned to Holly and Steve with a little nervousness. “Here we go, I guess.”

 

“You are going to do just fine, buddy. We'll be right here when you two are done.” He clapped his hand on Bucky's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. This had to work, it just had to. He didn't know what else they could do to help him deal with what he'd gone through. He couldn't live the rest of his life in the Tower let alone constantly afraid he'd hurt someone in his sleep.

 

Holly moved forward and hugged Bucky, Steve smiling as his friend relaxed easily into her arms. Somehow even though she was an expert fighter, she still managed to make one feel calm and at peace with just a touch. Maybe that was just for guys over 90. Both of his arms wrapped around her slim waist easily.“You are going to be just fine sweetie. I promise you. The professor has done this kind of thing before. He can help, trust me.”

 

“Thank you, for defending me, before.” Bucky murmured against her shoulder. Used to be he was always the one doing the defending but things had changed. That was something he'd had to get used to after everything with Project Rebirth. Steve had actually had to save him.

 

She pulled back and without hesitation held his face in her hands. Not something anyone would have done last year or even before that really. She had no hesitation or qualms about the intimate gesture. It was something he learned about from Natasha. Reinforcement. Touching Bucky's face like that was her reinforcing to him that she wasn't afraid of him and helping him focus on that. “No one messes with my friends. And you are family, mister. Got it?”

 

He nodded, a little smile on his face. “Yes ma'am.” Steve couldn't help but think of the number of times Buck gave that same smile and that same reply to his mother when she would emphasize that no matter what, he was always welcome in their home.

 

“Then get your elderly ass upstairs!” She teased with a wink. “The professor will let us know when you are done.”

 

Steve shared a look with Bucky who just shook his head as he went up the stairs after the professor, muttering about he'd show her elderly.

* * *

 

 

“Would you look who the cat dragged in! Holly?”

 

Holly turned and grinned. “Alison!”

 

The two women embraced, swaying side to side with a laugh. “What are you doing here? Bring another student for the Professor?”

 

“Not exactly. I brought a friend to talk with the Professor and help him learn to move beyond some things that have been done to him.” She turned to Steve who was watching the reunion with an amused look. “Steve, this is Alison Blaire. She and I were at Julliard together. She was Roxy when we did Chicago.”

 

Steve nodded faintly before nodding with more confidence. His memory replaced her long blonde hair with the shorter style from when he was a kid. “I remember now.” He stepped forward and held out his hand. “Steve Rogers, ma'am. Nice to meet an old friend of Holly's.”

 

It took Alison a moment before her eyes got big. “Oh my god, you're Captain America aren't you?”

 

He nodded yet again, used to being recognized with shock. “Yes, that's me.”

 

“Wow.” She looked at Holly who couldn't help but smile. “You were right, about him being out there.”

 

“She told you?”

 

Alison shook her head. “Not really. I knew her uncle had fought with you and that he thought you were still out there somehow. And that she believed it too.” She raised a hand. “I didn't even know she was a SHIELD agent or a fellow mutant until she saved me from some prejudiced assholes and brought me to the professor.”

 

“Show Steve what you can do.” She turned to Steve with a smirk. “You are gonna love this.” With that, Holly took a step back and belted out a single note.

 

Alison grinned before striking a pose, the room filling with light and flashes. “Dazzler, at your service sir.”

 

Steve held a hand up to his eyes, narrowed to deal with the bright light. “An appropriate name then. You turn sound into light?”

 

“Yes. I can create holograms, create cutting beams and concussive force, like Cyclops can. I mean Scott. I've learned a lot about control and just how much I can do here.”

 

Interesting. The older students had code names. “I would hope so. That's an amazing ability.”

 

She nodded, a smile on her lips. “I'm great when you want to break into a place. A human flash bang.”

 

“Or break out of a place.” Holly quipped.

 

“True enough.” Alison's face grew serious. “I saw when you were outed. How you lost your job and everything. I'm really sorry honey.”

 

Holly shrugged. “Things happen. I didn't have any choice and I wasn't going to let those bigots hurt a pregnant woman or shoot my friends, you know? Besides, I think I'm better off not teaching at a place that would see me as a threat simply for being a mutant.”

 

“It still sucks. A few of us thought about going down to the city to take care of a few of those protesters outside Avengers Tower but the Professor told us we couldn't.”

 

“Yeah. I appreciate the thought just the same.”

 

**Holly POV**

 

_Steve, Holly, if you could come to my office?_

 

Holly tried not to laugh as Steve managed to only flinch a little at the feeling of another person's voice in his head. They both headed toward Xavier's office, Holly leading the way and giving his hand a squeeze. “You get used to it.”

 

“It's just strange, that's all.” He looked down at her. “How much time have you spent here?”

 

“A fair bit. I spent some time here when my ability first manifested, learned how to control it not let it control me. And since then I've spent the occasional weekend, checking up with the kids I brought here. Xavier was a friend of my father's from back in the 70s, after that whole incident with the Sentinels at the White House. The Professor was kind enough, after everything in 2001 to offer me a position here teaching if I wanted it.”

 

“Were you tempted?”

 

“A little. The kids here need to see that it's possible to be a mutant among non-mutants who could potentially hate you and fight to protect them. Not to mention that not all non-mutants are afraid of us. Some of them have been hurt pretty badly, even by their own parents. But in the end, I went to California. Where, ironically, I still managed to occasionally find a young mutant here and there that I would send up here. The professor and his older students would help them with their gifts and how to defend themselves.”

 

They walked into Xavier's office and were nearly bowled over by a rather exuberant James, his arms wrapped around them. “It worked! The Professor managed to pull the blocks in my head! The restraints on my willpower! I can remember!” He let go of Holly and hugged Steve with a bear hug that looked almost painful if it wasn't for the overjoyed grin on Steve's face. “Holly was right, I was fighting the brainwashing! I didn't kill Howard! I didn't kill Kennedy! All because I was fighting it!”

 

Before Steve could even respond, James moved and scooped up Holly in his arms, careful not to hug her too tightly. “Thank you! You are the best dame ever!” He gave her an enthusiastic kiss on the cheek, making her laugh at his exuberance. “I feel...free!”

 

Holly couldn't help but grin at his joy as he put her down. It was good to see him so completely happy and uninhibited. “It wasn't me sweetheart. That's you. I'm sure you helped the Professor quite a bit in the process.”

 

“That's right, Holly. Those walls, James, we were only able to bring down because you yourself had been chipping away at them all these years. Well done.” He smiled. “You no longer need to fear your memories or the potential for night terrors. Now, I invite you to walk around the school and meet some of the students. You can stay as long as you like. And you are welcome back anytime.”

 

James turned and stepped over to shake the Professor's hand with both of his. “Thank you sir. Thank you.”

 

“I'll catch up with you boys in a minute. I haven't had the chance to chat with the professor in a while.”

 

The pair nodded, heading out the door with James explaining what the professor had done for him. Holly waved her hand and the door closed softly behind them.

 

“It's nice to see you still use your abilities. What about the additional abilities Mr. Barnes was telling me about and I saw a bit of on the landing?”

 

She nodded, holding out her arms and having the grafts illuminate. “It was Tony's idea. He felt guilty after I got hurt in Bavaria and wanted to give me something extra to fight with.”

 

“Yes, I can see how it would be a great asset.” Xavier looked to the small corner kitchenette of his office. “Would you care for some tea?”

 

“Sure. I'll get it.” She walked over and almost like second nature began preparing the tea, just like Peggy had taught her. “How have you been, sir?”

 

“Well. It's never a dull day here, as you know.” As she brought the tray over to the coffeetable where the professor had floated over to, his eyes softened. “I am concerned with how you are doing. Much has changed for you in the last few months. When I learned not only had you effectively come out of retirement but in Manhattan, I was surprised.”

 

Holly sat down on the settee, the warmth of the ceramic cup holding the tea a comfort. “I know. It was kind of sudden for me too. Did Peggy call you?”

 

Xavier smiled, albeit sadly. “Yes she did. She always did worry after you and was concerned at how quickly you went right back to the old business as she called it.” He reached over and touched her arm. “How are you dealing with her passing?” Because he was a well known mutant, he wasn't able to go for risk of causing an incident or drawing attention away from Peggy. He'd sent a beautiful flower setting and a card, expressing his condolences as well as his admiration for the tolerant former SHIELD director.

 

She shrugged, looking down into her tea. “I'm dealing. I think I did better with everyone there than I would have if she'd died when I was in California. I had Steve and Tony and everyone.”

 

“But then you lost Trip.” Trip had come with Holly several times when she'd come up to Westchester.

 

A sigh. “Yeah. Just a few weeks later.” She closed her eyes, the pain still fresh and she tried to focus on pushing it down.

 

“No, don't hide it on my account Holly.” The older man entreated. “Your pain isn't something you need to hold back with me.”

 

“Yeah, I know.” When her father and brother died, both Jean and the professor commented that her grief was almost like another person in the room screaming. “It was just so much so soon.” She shook her head. “Thank you for helping James. It's so good to see him so....normal.”

 

“He did most of the work himself. He has a very strong mind. I do not believe Hydra would ever understand the overwhelming care and loyalty he has toward Captain Rogers. That, if anything, is what saved him.”

 

Holly smiled. “Yeah, it's pretty amazing, their bond.”

 

“You helped quite a bit as well. I will tell you that Sergeant Barnes feels a great deal for you, trust and affection. I saw the memory of your first encounter with him. The fact that you showed no fear and only care for him had a larger impact than I think you know.”

 

“He's a good guy. He didn't deserve what they did to him. When we found out he was alive and everything, it honestly made me think of Eric. How that Nazi bastard hurt him so badly, took advantage of him and how it affected his whole life.” She'd met Eric Lensherr once, briefly, after her gift manifested. He had known her mother, one of the mutants that he and Charles had tried to recruit when they'd been going against Shaw in 1962.

 

She had been with her brother in Westchester itself, having lunch when he'd walked up, like he wasn't a wanted fugitive and asked to join them. Her brother had immediately moved to defend but she shook her head. He was an Omega level mutant and there were too many civilians. He'd insisted he wasn't there as a threat but out of respect for their mother. Then he'd simply sat and talked to her. No agenda, no mutants first propaganda. Just encouraging her to see her ability as a gift, not something to hide. He'd even been pleased that she was learning at the school. Then he simply left, after paying for their lunch.

 

“Yes, I wonder myself how different he might have been. That is something that your captain and Mr. Barnes are going to also have to adapt to. Neither of them are the same men they were back in 1944. Both have gone through incredible trauma, unparalleled in the world, I would wager.”

 

She nodded. “But now they can adapt together. I can't thank you enough for helping James. He's had it so difficult for so long.”

 

Xavier leaned forward and took her hands. “And so have you, Holly. Always so worried about everyone else but yourself. I wonder, is that more Peggy than your father?”

 

She smiled. “Definitely Peggy.”

 

“Just remember that you can't help others if you don't help yourself.”

* * *

 

Holly made her way down the stairs, surprised at the scene she saw before her. Steve was holding a small infant and James was smiling as the baby held his finger. It was his cybernetic hand and she wondered if the baby was amused by the light reflecting off the metal. Whatever the professor had managed to do had him no longer extremely self conscious of his bionic arm. She'd almost gotten to the bottom of the steps when she realized just who the baby was when she saw the parents standing there proudly.

 

“Adam! Anna!” She was overjoyed to see the couple that she had helped rescue back in December from anti-mutant bigots who were outraged by not only the sight of a mutant and a non-mutant as a couple but the fact that she'd been very pregnant at the time. “It's so good to see you!” She'd spoken to the couple a few times since Clint and Natasha had brought them to Xavier for protection.

 

Anna, with her huge black eyes and lilac skin grinned, moving from her spot next to Adam to give Holly a hug. “Hello Holly! Jean came to get us, to tell us you were here. You haven't met your godson yet.”

 

Holly had been more than flattered that the couple had insisted on naming herself, Steve and Clint as the baby's godparents, thankful for their role in saving their collective lives. She remembered the look on both men's faces when the baby's name had been told to them, namely Grant Barton O'Reilly.

 

She followed the woman to where James was pretending to struggle to free his finger from the tiny grip Grant had on it. “Oh my god, he's beautiful.” The baby hadn't taken after his mother in terms of being outwardly obvious as a mutant from birth. He had pale skin and dark brown hair like his father and the blue eyes most newborn infants had.

 

Yet again, she was surprised when the baby looked at her and immediate raised both hands up again and again, like he was asking her to pick him up or raise him. Quite a feat considering he was only a few weeks old.

 

“Yeah, he's a mutant too.” Anna said softly, answering her unasked question with just the touch of sadness, part of her wanting to save her son from the prejudice she'd faced her entire life. “So far we think he's able to sense other mutants. He's very advanced for just a few weeks. He does that with Jean too.”

 

Holly blinked at the younger woman. “Wait, he's barely a month old and he can sense not only that I'm a mutant but that I'm telekenetic? How is that possible?”

 

“Coming from the woman who can lift things with her mind.” James said wryly. “Go on, pick him up.”

 

Both Adam and Anna gave her a nod and she very gently lifted the baby mentally from Steve's arms, only a foot or two. The baby squealed happy, kicking his tiny legs. She gently turned him around, her mind flashing back to showing off her gift to the Asgardian children during their Christmas trip. Then she gently floated the tot to her own hands, before releasing him mentally. “You are a bg surprise, little man.”

 

The baby cooed at her and she swore he was smiling.

 

**Steve POV**

 

Steve was impressed as he overheard Holly having a conversation in Russian with another mutant she'd helped direct toward Xavier's school, who could turn his body into near indestructable metal. He towered over her, but spoke with a gentle tone. While Steve was able to pick out a few words, he wasn't able to follow the conversation and instead was studying a large picture showing a large group of Xavier's students posed in front of the building. Most looked unassuming, though there were a few that stood out. One was entirely blue with pointed ears and what looked like a tail. Another had black eyes and what looked like red irises. Yet another seemed to be made of ice, standing besides a man with large white feathered wings.

 

“Surprised you aren't keeping an eye on that Peter kid, talking to Holly so close, punk.”

 

Steve turned to see a more relaxed and clear eyed Bucky move to lean against the wall, half looking at him and half watching Holly. It was almost eerie the change in him from when they'd arrived. The old Bucky seemed to be back but more seasoned from the last 70 years. What had been done to him still affected him, but now he knew who he really was inside. “Why would I?”

 

“Well considering he just called her little songbird and told her she needs to visit more, I'd be watching him.”

 

Steve shook his head. “She helped him by bringing him to Xavier back when she did a lot of undercover work.” He turned to where the large Russian had leaned over to kiss Holly's cheek before leaving with a small woman who'd matter of factly just ghosted through the wall. “I didn't realize just how much work she'd done involving mutants.”

 

“Considering how young she started with SHIELD, she was bound to run into other young people with emerging abilities.”

 

The pair turned to see a large blue furred man who looked almost lion like in terms of his eyes and what could only be described as a snout instead of a nose. He was dressed in what had to be a custom made suit, complete with tie. “I thought maybe it was because of her mother, Mr?” Steve asked, noticing that instead of normal hands, the man had large paws, like a cat, complete with dark blue claws.

 

“I'm sorry, where are my manners? Dr. Hank McCoy. I'm one of the professors oldest students. I've known Holly and her family for many years.” He held out a paw and shook their hands. “I was good friends with both of her parents.”

 

“Yes you were. What was it my mother always called you?” Holly said with a smile, walking over and hugging the man affectionately.

 

He sighed. “Dr Fluffy.”

 

She giggled and playfully petted his fur. “How are you Hank?”

 

“I'm doing quite well, thank you. I hear you are an Avenger now.”

 

She nodded with a small smile. “Yeah, I am.”

 

“Your father would be very proud. I was sorry to hear about Miss Carter's passing. She was quite the advocate for mutant rights and a lovely lady.”

 

“Peggy didn't believe in any kind of discrimination except against people like Hydra.”

 

“That's one discrimination I can stand behind.” Steve said, not wanting to think about the kind of prejudice that little Grant would have to deal with growing up.

 

“Me too.” Bucky agreed.

 


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a small chapter....anyone still out there?

**Holly POV**

Bundled up, Holly got out of the car. Since James was doing much better with his memory and all, he'd suggested a trip to Brooklyn so he could consciously see all that had changed over the years. Once they'd arrived in the borough though, he'd asked to go to Greenwood Cemetery, so respects could be paid to Sarah Rogers.

“I'll wait for you boys here. You know the way, I'm guessing.” She had a feeling that the pair had gone to visit the grave more than a few times in the few short years between when Sarah died in 1938 and when Bucky shipped off to Europe with the army. She could almost see Steve in his old army uniform making one last visit before going off on the War Bond tour.

Steve looked at her slightly confused. “Wait, you do?”

 

She gave him a smile. “Your parents haven't been without visitors in the last 70 years, Steve. I've been here quite a few times.”

 

James had a soft smile on his face. “Yeah, I thought you might.” He smacked Steve in the arm. “Do you really think Peggy wouldn't have taken care of things for you? Jackass.” He held out his arm for Holly. “Come on, angel. Time we properly introduced you to Mom.”

 

She looked to Steve who had an affectionate look in his eye. “Damn straight.”

 

They began to walk and when they arrived near the plots, both men stopped confused. Holly decided to explain. “Boys, when the war ended, the Commandos decided that the proper respect had to be shown to the Rogers. They knew it bothered you that you hadn't been able to afford it. John because he died in service of the country and Sarah because she raised you two so well.”

 

When Sarah had died in 1938, Steve had very little money to buy a headstone and for a number of years, both she and her husband had just had small stones that said their names and dates. The Commandos had all chipped in and gotten something nicer and then years later, improved it again. Now, there was a large stone for both, the name Rogers across it and then their individual names and full dates along with reference to John's military service and a quote from Sarah that had stuck in Peggy's mind after Steve went missing. “Always get back up.”

 

“I remember coming out here when I was little and Dum Dum telling stories about you both and how you were heroes because of John and Sarah. He always said that I'd be a hero too because I was his niece and we only won the war because of him and Peggy mostly. You know how Dum Dum was.” She smiled a little, thinking of walking with Uncle Dum Dum and holding his hand with her much smaller one, always willing to hear another story about Captain America and his Howling Commandos. I took up the mantle after Dum Dum passed, especially after Peggy broke her hip back in '98 and couldn't kneel down very easily. After I left SHIELD and went to California, Coulsen stopped by whenever he could. And after the Battle of New York, Pepper came out a few times.”

 

Steve blinked, his jaw tight and his eyes locked on the stone. It was obvious that it had shocked him and she wondered if he was also a bit overwhelmed because this was the first time he'd been to the graves since 1943. It was well maintained and it was obvious that more than one person had realized who the grave was for. There were small gifts and even small shields and more than one weathered note saying thank you. She doubted that he was surprised that the Commandos would go out of their way like that, he knew then how much of a strange kind of family he'd help form with those misfits and Peggy.

 

She stepped back a little, feeling a bit shitty that she'd gone on and on and wasn't thinking about how Steve would be feeling. He stood there for long minutes with James, the long haired man giving her a reassuring wink.

 

“Hi Mom. Dad. It's...it's been a while.” Steve spoke softly, carefully. “I'm sorry I haven't been here.” He amended himself. “That we haven't been here. I'm glad...I'm glad you were taken care of.” He turned and held out his hand to Holly.

 

She took it, confused, letting him pull her so she stood between him and James.

 

“Mom, this is Holly. She helped me find Bucky, to bring him home. She's Peggy's little girl. She was the British woman that visited you.” He babbled a bit, the loss of his mother still relatively fresh for him. 1938 was still about 10 years ago in his mind, not 77. “I think you two would have gotten along really well. Something tells me you helped send her my way. Thank you.” He gave her a soft affectionate look, giving her hand a squeeze.

 

“Hello Mrs Rogers.” Holly spoke softly. “I'm sorry I haven't visited in a while. That roped off section of heaven with the Dugan boys is a bit of the reason. And don't worry, I'll keep an eye on both of your boys for you.”

 

James put his hand on her shoulder. “Hi Mom. Miss you.”

 

* * *

 

Back at the Tower, after Bucky headed off to his apartment, Steve pulled Holly into his apartment and hugged her tightly. She hugged him back, as she always did, but he could tell she was confused.

 

“Thank you for taking care of them. My parents. I was afraid it would be overgrown and everything. It's been so long.”

 

She pulled back a little. “Honey, you don't need to thank me. Your mom was an amazing woman, even if I never got to meet her. Peggy admired her for the stories you told about her. And your dad was a hero, just like his son.”

 

He smiled and leaned forward kissing her softly. “Thank you anyway, doll. It means a lot to me.” He looked up to the ceiling, imagining that somewhere, the boys and Peggy could hear him. “Thank all of you.”

 

Holly hugged him again.

 

* * *

 

“I can handle this.” James said with a nod, igniting one of Holly's extra lightsabers, it's single blade a bright red. He moved it around his body with ease, having extensive training involving many different forms of weaponry.

 

Holly smiled, amazed that she and Steve had gotten him into the training room to practice and spar at all. He'd worked out and such, but nothing involving weapons or fighting beyond beating the crap out of one of Steve's specially reinforced sandbags. He'd watched the two of them spar for a while before asking if he could try out one of Holly's sabers. Tony had made more for her, with various kinds of hilts and blades. “Come on then, cutie. Bring it!”

 

There was a playful smirk on his face as he charged her and she was barely able to ignite her saber to deflect his, twisting herself away and into a roll, taking a defensive pose when she regained her feet. “Aww, is that all you got, old man?”

 

His smile grew into a full on grin and Holly knew it was because she wasn't babying him. This was going to be fun.

 

They fought for what felt like a good long while, the tide of the battle going back and forth between them. Thanks to her grafts, she was better able to keep up with him, but he was very unpredictable, not tying himself down to any one style of fighting. He didn't rely completely on the saber either. She made use of her grafts as well, just to keep up. When they finished at a draw, they found that they had gained an audience who were clapping and cheering. More than anything though, it was the happy smile on James' face as he fought to slow his breathing that was the best part. And the approving smile on Steve's face too.

 

“That was....fun.” James said with a bit of surprise to his voice. “I didn't think I would want to fight again.”

 

“Sparring with me is different from a real fight there, sweetheart, but you did really well.”

 

“Thanks.” He walked over and held out his hand to help her stand. She'd flopped dramatically to the floor when the last bout ended. It'd been a while since she'd been able to fight with anyone with any kind of sword like that. It wasn't exactly a common skill in the 21st century. Both Natasha and Clint were good, but not much of a challenge in sword fighting unless they fought together. He pulled her into a hug. “Thanks for not going easy on me.”

 

She hugged him back. “Honey, I should be thanking you. It honestly felt like I was sparring with my brother one more time and damn, it felt good to feel that again.”

 

“Aww, come on Holly. I'm nothing like your brother.”

 

“In some ways you are. He was a stubborn butt too at times.”

 

“Start running, little girl.”

 

She giggled happily before taking off, James close behind.

 

 


	49. Chapter 49

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed a bit about Agent 33 and remember, I deviate from Agents of SHIELD with Trip's death.
> 
> LONG chapter. Feedback is appreciated!

**Holly POV**

Holly didn't like this. There was a piece of ancient pottery that Stark Industries was donating to a struggling museum in New Jersey and the etching on it looked very similar to the kind of etching that Coulson had been doing prior to the whole debacle in Puerto Rico back in November. His team was enroute but Pepper said that the piece had been authenticated and it was only human made. Just the same, Holly insisted on tagging along and James, bored of being in the Tower all the time jumped at the chance to go along. Neither she or Pepper wanted to dissuade him, happy that he wanted to go out.

 

But besides that, the hall where they were doing the presentation was large but very narrow with too few exits. Activating her contacts, she could tell that the museum either had too much security or there was a reason there was so much weaponry in one room. This was wrong. Something was very wrong.

 

James grabbed her arm and began tapping a pattern against her wrist. She was careful not to bring any attention to them but kept her eyes on the others. Jarvis spoke via visual interface with her contacts. “Sergeant Barnes is using Morse Code. He believes at least two of the men with the museum are Hydra agents. Should I contact the rest of the Avengers?” The words came across her vision as she tried to keep a casual but cautious watch on the strangers in the room.

 

Near silently, Holly told Jarvis yes and to contact Coulson's team because she confirmed for herself they were in big trouble. One of the men who'd stayed out of sight had just come into her view. It was the traitor, Grant Ward and where he was, so was Raina and Agent 33. He was freshly shaven and styled his hair differently, but she recognized him just the same. They'd just walked into a trap and there were way too many civilians here. Probably what Hydra was counting on.

 

She moved forward, hoping she hadn't been recognized yet and made use of the earpiece that Tony made sure Pepper always wore for more subtle communication. Acting like she was scratching her nose, she covered her mouth with her hand and spoke softly. “Pepper, stay calm. Those aren't museum patrons, it's Hydra. The tall one in the back is Grant Ward, the one who betrayed Coulson. We need to get out of here if we can. They can't have that artifact and there are too many civilians. If Raina's here, it has something to do with the Kree, your expert may have been a plant.”

 

Flawless as ever, Pepper pretended to check her phone. “I'm sorry everyone but it seems I was misled. Apparently the piece we were donating to your museum is different than this one. Someone accidentally switched them. My mistake, I'm very sorry. Perhaps we could reschedule?”

 

“Stop right there. No one moves. The artifact goes with us.”

 

Damn. Pepper had given a great excuse to get out of the room but it hadn't worked. She turned her head to James who gave her a slight nod before slowly backing up. She was more thankful than ever that they had been training together in the last couple weeks. It wouldn't be like fighting with Clint or Nat or even Steve but there was an understanding. They'd work well together to do what they needed to.

 

“Actually, I disagree.” Holly stepped forward and shrugged off the stylish long coat she'd worn to hide her saber and ignited it. It's bright green blades thrummed in the near silent tension that had filled the room. “Hi, we weren't introduced. My name is Holly and I'm going to be kicking your filthy Hydra asses today. It looks like you're booked in an ICU for the rest of the week.”

 

The distraction was perfect for James to come leaping over her and deck the first Hydra agent to her left while she took out the one on the right.

 

The fight wasn't an easy one and while Holly and James took the brunt of the attack, Pepper focused on getting the few innocent bystanders to the door and protecting the artifact, surprising the Hydra agent who'd thought he'd be able to stop them from getting near the door with an Extremis enhanced punch. The others seemed intimidated by the fact that now her eyes and fists were glowing. As much as Pepper didn't like conflict, she understood that life with Tony pretty much meant she needed to be ready for anything at anytime.

 

Holly focused on getting to Ward and hoped the Raina woman was nearby. She had a message for both of them from Trip. “Ward! How goes murder of innocents business?”

 

He gave her a cocky smirk. “Hail Hydra.” He took a defensive stance. His jaw was set but she could sense his false bravado. He knew he couldn't beat her. But he had absolutely no other choice but to fight. There was no way in hell she was going to let him get away. Not after everything he had done.

 

She chuckled darkly. “Oh you motherfucker.” She'd admit he was a decent fighter, but she was much better. He telegraphed all his moves and she waited until he was nearly winded before she did a flying kick he didn't expect before somersaulting and landing her full weight on his chest. “This is for Trip, you fucking traitor!” She slammed her fist into his face twice only to be tackled to the side.

 

A distorted face that only half looked like May appeared above her. Agent 33, a more recent victim of Hydra brainwashing. Holly had known Gina Clark for years and had been heartbroken to hear from Coulson that not only had she been captured by Hydra, but thoroughly brainwashed. “I'm not doing this with you now, Gina.” With that, Holly slammed her hands into the woman's chest, using her telekenesis to throw her half across the room and back toward Ward.

 

She reached out and focused, grabbed a table that had been set aside to make the room look like a meeting was actually going to take place in it and pulled it hard so it slammed right into 33 and Ward, mid-back. It was no simple plastic or pressed wood folding table and hit them hard enough to make a loud thunk sound.

 

Getting up, she saw there were still more civilians, but it looked like the Hydra contingent was down. She looked to James who grinned, tucking the Icer guns that were given to him by Jemma back into their holsters. He wanted to be able to fight with less chance of potentially killing anyone. She turned off her saber, hooking it back on her belt as she walked toward Pepper, her eyes no longer glowing, who for her credit was cradling the artifact and was near the civilians but not so close that they could reach out and touch it. There was a chance there was another agent hidden among them and she hadn't let any of them leave. A few were even recording the whole thing on their phones from their prone positions near the floor and against the wall.

 

It was James who saw the movement as Holly had been facing Pepper, making sure she was alright. Out of nowhere, he yelled and leaped, tackling them both as gunshots rang out and a bystander screamed. She tried to count out the shots as she moved so she covered Pepper and James covered her but something told her that the male grunt of pain she'd heard meant James had been hit. When the shots stopped, Holly managed to twist on the floor to see Agent 33, struggling to get herself standing and put another clip in her gun, staggering toward them. Being hit by that table had hurt her but not taken her out.

 

Pulling herself to standing from the tangle of James and Pepper, she saw he had been hit in his leg, thankfully no higher than just below his knee. It looked painful none the less. None of the civilians had been hurt. The shots probably would have hit Pepper in the chest if James hadn't gotten in the way. Pepper looked scared but unharmed and a quick look told her that she herself was unhurt except for hitting the floor rather hard.

 

“Gina, stop! You don't have to do this! Put down the gun, right now. Right the fuck now Agent!” Holly yelled, torn between wanting to punish her for trying to shoot herself and Pepper and wanting to help her. Gina had been two levels below her, so she had hoped that using a tone of authority would get through to her. She moved forward to keep Gina's attention on her and no one else. “I don't want to hurt you! It's me, it's Holly. Holly Dugan. Remember?”

 

Gina wavered, her hands stopping in their motion of slamming a new clip into her gun. She grunted as if she was struggling against herself, her eyes scrunching shut as blood suddenly spurted out of her nose, covering her mouth and chin.

 

“Christ, Jarvis, what's going on?” Holly focused on Gina, the grafts allowing Jarvis to do a rudimentary scan of her, namely looking for any foreign technology. A red light indicated something in her head as she slowly slammed the clip into the gun, almost like she was fighting against invisible hands trying to force her.

 

“Holly, I'm sorry to report that Agent 33 has apparently been fitted with a killswitch device in addition to the brainwashing done to her by Hydra. From what I am able to gather, it is activated when she shows significant amount of resistance to the brainwashing.”

 

That was good! She was fighting it. It made sense because Gina had always been a crack shot. To miss her target like she had must have been a sign of her internal struggle. “Then I'll knock her out, we can get it out and help her like we helped James.”

 

“I regret that will not be possible, due to the killswitch is in an area of the brain where it cannot be removed without killing Agent 33 and once activated cannot be stopped in it's programming to cause a very slow and very painful death. SHIELD records show numerous uses of this device.” A pause. “Holly, she is going to die in immense pain and suffering.”

 

Gina staggered a few steps forward, in part from whatever the killswitch was doing to her and the brainwashing compelling her to complete her mission no matter what injury she sustained. “Hol...ly. Please....” She managed to gasp out before letting out a cry, one hand going to her head as the other lifted the gun. The blood had now begun going down her neck as the gun trembled in her hand.

 

Holly didn't have to speak when she shared a look with Pepper and James. Jarvis' information had gone over the communication earpieces. She knew what would have to be done. And even with Gina fighting the brainwashing, Holly wouldn't be able to get close. She'd have to do it from here. Pepper nodded and closed her eyes while James gave her a look of pity before he nodded. Of all people, he would know the regret of being forced to kill a friend.

 

Holly turned back, her heart sinking as the Force Lightning built up in her hands. She couldn't trust her telekinesis to do a fatal move and she didn't want to use her lightsaber on her old friend. She took a few steps forward to distance herself from the others. She'd never done this before and needed help. “Jarvis, give me absolutely everything.”

 

She took one last look at her old friend, who no longer looked like herself thanks to her fight with May that led to the facial mesh being electrocuted onto her face. The friend who had an equal interest in history as Holly and was one of the top Agents of SHIELD when it fell. “I'm so sorry Gina.” A breath. “Red line it, Jarvis. NOW!”

 

She thrust her hands out and the lightning shot out and struck 33 dead in the chest, hitting her so hard that she flew back and left a small crater in the wall she hit. Smoke rose from her body. One could only hope that she'd been hit with enough electricity that she didn't feel anything when she died. There was no surviving that. Holly stumbled to her knees Jarvis silently doing what she had asked without question, no doubt understanding exactly why. She hated herself for a long moment, hated Hydra even more for forcing the situation. Poor Gina.

 

“Agent 33 is dead. It was instantaneous.” Jarvis said softly and with a respectful tone.

 

She took a breath, feeling very weak and dizzy from having used that much of her own energy before near instantaneously, let alone focused through the grafts. It was like someone had just unplugged her without warning. It was all she could do to keep from throwing up from the vertigo, her body feeling both numb and tingly. Her muscles felt jumpy and much too loose while a headache was starting. She stumbled over on uncertain feet to where Pepper was trying not to panic as she made efforts to try and take care of James who insisted he was fine.

 

“James, dammit, let us take care of you.” Holly cursed, dropping down without much grace besides him. That short walk felt like miles. “I guess Hydra brainwashing isn't all it's cracked up to be. They must have decided that if someone could break it, they didn't want them to survive. Bastards.” She paused, closing her eyes briefly with another wave of vertigo. She had to maintain until backup arrived. She hoped it would be very soon because she felt beyond awful. “Now why did you have to go and get yourself shot?”

 

“She could have hurt both of you. I had to protect you. I'm fine.” He grimaced as they carefully pulled up his pant leg. It was a nasty shot that had thankfully been a clean in and out. It was bloody but looked like it hadn't done major damage. It was nowhere near the bone, thankfully. Her SHIELD medical training, as rudimentary as it was, was meant for situations like this. “Are you alright? You look like you are going to pass out.”

 

“I'll be fine...I think. Thanks for the tackle.” Holly reached for the long coat she'd been wearing that had ended up nearby and pulled off the sash. She hoped it was enough, she didn't have the strength to tear cloth at the moment. “Pepper, tie it right here, as tight as you can. We have to stop the bleeding.”

 

James yelped when Pepper did it, both women apologizing to him. He hadn't counted on Pepper being a touch stronger than she looked thanks to Extremis. It didn't always visually manifest and she'd gotten very good at controlling and using it.

 

“Sorry sweetie, it's the best we can do until some kind of help arrives.” Holly said, looking to make sure the Hydra contingent was still down. She wasn't quite sure what she'd be able to do if they didn't. She wasn't keen on trying to stand up at the moment and her contacts seemed to not want to work, though Jarvis was still active.

 

She hoped she'd at least broken a few bones in Ward and looked forward to breaking a few more once she had her strength back. This time, she hoped Coulson wouldn't be as easy on him, just imprisoning him. If it was up to her, she'd put him in a room with herself, Natasha and Clint. And then, just when he was sobbing for mercy, have Fury walk in.

 

Before James could reply, both Pepper and Holly reacted to the familiar sound of a landing Iron Man suit. Tony was here, no doubt breaking a few speed records in his flight from NY to NJ. She stood up with a good deal of effort, a bit wobbly on her feet, Pepper next to her as Tony burst into the room, the suit, a Mark 19, opening to allow him to step out of it before going into Jarvis controlled sentry mode.

 

He was quick to wrap his arms around both of them, pulling them to him. “Jesus Christ. I let you leave my sight and fucking Hydra.” He sighed, looking at them both. “Are you okay?”

 

“We're okay, Tony. James saved the day. He recognized the Hydra agents and then he tackled both of us and took a bullet saving us! A bullet Tony! And Holly had no choice but to fry the brainwashed SHIELD agent woman who looks like May and I think she overdid it. Where's the rest of the team? We need Bruce. Where's Coulson's team? Jemma could help.”

 

Tony shared a look with Holly at Pepper's panicked babbling. “Pepper, breath before you pass out. The rest of the team isn't that far behind.” He gave her a kiss to the forehead, hugging her with one arm before she went back to tending to James. He looked down at the man who was sitting up with the tourniquet on his leg. “It true that you took a bullet for them?”

 

“Had to. They make you more tolerable.”

 

Tony smirked and nodded. “Thanks Barnes. Maybe I was wrong about you.” He turned to Holly who was trying not to make it too noticeable that she was trying to hold herself up by using Tony. The muscles in her legs were doing a disjointed Riverdance and it was all she could do to not wince, on top of the strong headache brewing. “Hey Sparky, it's a nickname, not a way of life.” His brows came together. “How much power did you use?”

 

“At Holly's command, the grafts pulled on energy past the red zone of 30% over safe limits, just below near fatal.” Jarvis's voice announced from her graft.

 

“Dammit.” He carefully eased her down to sit next to James. She never thought sitting could be such a relief.“No more hanging around Rogers for you two. Self sacrificing jackass. What were you thinking Holly? You could have caused permanent nerve damage or even brain damage! You could have stroked out!” He admonished her while holding her eyelids open to look at her pupils and feeling her pulse and looking at the palms of her hands that were red and slightly swollen from the amount of energy that had gone through them. Despite the protective micromolecular coverings on them, there was evidence of potential burns.

 

Despite how horrible she was feeling, Holly gave him a firm look, the look that made even Clint take a step back. “She was fitted with a killswitch Tony. She was fighting the brainwashing and they put something in her brain to make her pay for that. She was my friend and she didn't deserve what those sons of bitches did to her.” She took a deep breath to control her emotions. She was a SHIELD agent and not a weeping child. She had done her duty. “I had to make sure she wouldn't suffer.”

 

Tony sighed and held up his hands in surrender. “Alright, alright, I'm sorry.” He looked to Pepper who had a sad look on her face from the whole thing. “Jarvis, how far out is the team?”

 

“The Avengers are 15 minutes out sir. Director Coulson and his SHIELD team should arrive in the next 3 minutes.” Jarvis said easily.

 

* * *

 

“Oh my. What happened? Holly, are you alright? Sergeant Barnes? You both look awful, I'm sorry to say.” Jemma gushed, rushing over with her medical kit, looking between them both trying to figure out who to take care of first. Some newer SHIELD agents were right behind her, some moving to corral the civilians, others moving to where the unconscious Hydra agents were. They were bound and dragged out of the room none too gently.

 

“I can wait.” Both Holly and James said in unison. They shared a smile and linked pinkies.

 

Holly spoke up again. “I just overdid it with my grafts, Jemma. Bruce can figure it out. I'm just really wiped out. James got his old ass shot saving us.”

 

Jemma's eyes grew. “Oh! How very noble, Sergeant Barnes. Let us see what we can do about this then!” She was obviously a little nervous when she was around James and Holly wondered absently if the British woman had a little crush on the former Winter Soldier.

 

James smiled at her softly, affection clearly evident. “Angel, I told you, you can call me Bucky or James or whatever you want. No need to be formal.”

 

“Oh, yes. Quite.” Jemma blushed, carefully removing the tourniquet.

 

Coulson stepped forward after surveying the room and giving out instructions to interview and clear the civilians before releasing them. “Agent, report. What happened?”

 

“It was a Hydra trap, sir.” Holly said, finding it easy to go back into old SHIELD habits. “They were trying to get the artifact Pepper has there. It looks like it's etched with the Kree writing you told us about. The traitor, Ward is unconscious over there. I might have fractured his jaw and hopefully broke his back with a hardwood table. Oops.” She smirked darkly.

 

Then came the part of the report she wished she didn't have to give. “Agent Gina Clark while strongly resisting her brainwashing was compelled to try and shoot both Pepper and I. Sergeant Barnes tackled both of us out of the way, taking the bullet in the leg. Agent Clark had been fitted with a inoperable killswitch that was activated with her resistance.” She clenched her jaw and closed her eyes. “I had no choice sir. I put her out of her misery as quickly as I could. She asked me to.”

 

It was quiet in the room for long moments, other agents having heard the last part of her report. Jemma gasped quietly in shock before resolutely returning to taking care of James' leg.

 

“Gina Clark was one of the best.” Coulson squatted down next to Holly, putting his hand on her shoulder. “She would thank you for doing what you had to do. It's what any of us would want, in that situation. She didn't deserve what they did to her. You did your duty.”

 

Holly opened her eyes, feeling anger that she had to do it at all. “My duty is to make Hydra fucking pay for messing with another one of my friends.” She looked over to where May and Skye were looking down on Ward but not doing anything to help him. May almost looked like it was taking all her effort not to kick him while he was down. “Don't go easy on him, Coulson. He helped cause Trip's death. He killed Gina just as much as anyone else in Hydra. Make him pay.”

 

“We will, Agent. We will. Now, what can we do for you? The rest of the Avengers should be here soon and Dr. Banner can look you over for using your grafts like you did.” Coulson had obviously been monitoring Jarvis and the Avengers communication line. “What do you need?”

 

“Help me get over to Gina, please? I don't think I can stand or walk right now.”

 

Coulson silently looked to Agent Mac who came over and gently lifted her up into his arms. “I got you, Lady Skywalker.”

 

“Thanks Mac. I appreciate it.”

 

**Steve POV**

Steve couldn't help but feel a bit of panic as he all but ran out of the Quinjet the second the rear hatch was open enough for him to do so and heading for the museum, the doors now guarded by SHIELD agents in tactical gear. All he could think on the flight there was that the two people he cared about most in this world had been in danger from Hydra and he hadn't been there. Again.

 

He skid to a stop as he entered the small auditorium. The room was pretty well wrecked and it was obvious a battle had occurred. He could smell gunpowder and an acrid smell of burned flesh and broken masonry. To one side were civilians being talked to by numerous agents. Stark was talking to Pepper who apparently was giving him details of the fight, his suit standing nearby keeping a protective watch. In her hands was the artifact that had led to the fight and had caused the numerous tied up Hydra agents throughout the room or being led out. He counted 13. Had Buck and Holly taken care of all of them?

 

Bucky was seated on the floor, his leg getting the final bit of bandaging from Dr. Simmons who seemed to have a permanent blush on her face. He stepped over and squatted down, putting his hand on Bucky's shoulder. “You alright?”

 

“Yeah. I'm okay. Just a through and through. I'll heal up. Got myself a good doctor to bandage me up.”

 

And somehow, Jemma was able to blush deeper. Steve gave her a smile. “Thanks doc.”

 

He stood and saw Holly seated by one particular body and was relieved to see her alright. He immediately moved to go to her. She looked exhausted but not obviously injured, Agent Mac of Coulsen's team standing nearby. He was stopped by Director Coulson's hand on his shoulder. He turned and saw the resigned sad look on the older man's face as he shook his head. “Not yet Cap. We need to talk first.”

 

Once the group was gathered, they moved to just outside the auditorium to talk. Pepper was mothering over Bucky, nearly making him blush by calling him her hero and making Stark roll his eyes and Barton laugh behind his hand. “Pepper, I'm fine, honest.”

 

“Okay Director, what the hell happened here?” Natasha spoke up. “How did any of this happen?”

 

Coulson sighed and shook his head. “I honestly don't know. Hydra has been quiet and since everything in Puerto Rico, even more so. We'd just started looking at the scans of the artifact that Holly sent me this morning when Jarvis sent out the alert that Hydra was here. We still don't know what the artifact is or what it means.”

 

Pepper sighed. “It's my fault. I should have listened to Holly when she said it looked like it had Kree writing on it. Why I thought I could trust the authenicator over her, I don't know.”

 

“Pep, Kree writing isn't exactly anyone's expertise.” Tony defended. “Coulson didn't even know what he was writing when he was writing it. You couldn't have known.”

 

“Let's just be thankful that Holly is so protective of you and insisted on coming along.” Steve spoke up. “Are you sure you're alright?”

 

The strawberry blonde nodded, a little shakily. “Yeah. I don't think I would be if it wasn't for Holly or James. I mean, I have Extremis but that doesn't make me an Avenger.”

 

“I'd argue that.” James spoke up from the chair that Pepper insisted on getting him. “I saw you take out one of the Hydra guys with one punch and not just that, you protected both the artifact and the civilians. You made it that much easier for Holly and I.” He gave her a smile.

 

“I think the thing to focus on is that all of you are okay and no civilians were hurt. Now do we know the players involved?” Steve didn't like that Pepper had been in danger anymore than having Holly or Bucky there. At least they had years of training, Pepper was a CEO who just happened to be a metahuman but still.

 

Coulsen's jaw clenched and Steve couldn't help but notice that Agent May looked like she wanted to put her fist through a wall. “It was Ward. The traitor.”

 

“He was calling the shots.” Bucky spoke up. “The others were following his lead. Could he be the new head of Hydra?”

 

“If he was, which I doubt, he won't be anymore.” May spoke up. “Holly beat the shit out of him and then she slammed a solid wood table into his back. If he walks again, I'd be surprised.” She had a near pleased smirk on her lips.

 

“And what about this Agent 33? She's the one who shot you?” Steve asked Bucky, his eyes glancing down at the tightly wrapped leg of his friend. Another potential scar.

 

“Agent 33, Gina Clark, was one of the top agents of SHIELD when it fell.” Coulsen spoke up. “In fact, I tried to recruit her for my team after Holly turned me down.” He had a weak smile on his face at that. “Not soon after Insight, she was taken and brainwashed by Whitehall. We ran into her a few times, including when she was pretending to be Agent May.”

 

“She wasn't in control, Steve. You should have seen the way she was struggling. Like there was someone else there forcing her. I don't even know how she was able to stand, she was hit with the table too.” Pepper spoke up. “She was fighting it and then all this blood came from her nose. Holly was pleading with her to stop, trying to get through to her.” Pepper blinked rapidly, obviously traumatized by what she'd witnessed. “And Jarvis scanned her and that's when we found out about the killswitch. Holly had no choice and Agent 33 asked her...she said please Holly. She knew she was already dying.”

 

“Okay Pep. Okay.” Stark pulled her into his arms, holding her close. “It's okay.” His eyes glanced through the clear doors leading into the auditorium, no doubt seeking out to make sure Holly was still okay. “Holly couldn't get close to her, she had to use her grafts. She maxed them out completely. Put Clark out of her misery. Instantly, I hope.”

 

“They weren't meant for that kind of use.” Bruce spoke up with anxious eyes. “How was she acting after?”

 

“Wobbly.” Bucky spoke up. “Like she was intensely dizzy. She was barely able to walk a few feet. She almost looked like she was going to pass out.”

 

A pinched look took Bruce's face. “Damn it. I'm going to need to check her out as soon as possible. The potential for nerve or brain damage is...well, I don't want to think about it honestly.”

 

Steve took a breath, wanting nothing more than to rush Banner over to Holly and get her checked out but right then he needed to concentrate on the bigger picture, even if his girlfriend was hurt. “What...why would Hydra resort to these killswitches now?”

 

“Because they managed to lose me.” Bucky spoke up, a haunted look in his eye. “How long did they have me and keep me under control with just mind wipes and brainwashing? And then when they think they have everything lined up to take over, you show up and undo all of that.” He spoke softly, not generally one to speak of his time as the Winter Soldier. “All the training they gave me and now, it's being used against them. Maybe they didn't want that to be a possibility anymore.”

 

“If we can't have the asset, no one will.” Natasha said quietly, Barton putting his hand on her shoulder. “The Red Room would kill any Black Widow they even closely suspected of thinking on their own. There were no second chances. Hydra might be following their book now.”

 

“There has to be a way we can stop them. Stop the killswitches.” Skye spoke up. “We can interrogate Ward, find out how.”

 

“He won't tell you anything.” Bucky said with a shake of his head. “And if he's not the head of Hydra, then he probably doesn't even know that Clark had one. Hell, there's a chance he's got one. Who the hell would be dumb enough to goad Holly into a fight like that? I almost think he was trying to get her to kill him.”

 

May shook her head. “No, he's not brainwashed. He's a psychopath. He gets off on pain, his own or that he causes.” She cracked her knuckles. “As for being dumb? That much I'd agree to.”

 

 


	50. Chapter 50

**Steve POV**

Steve looked over to where Holly was quietly sitting by the covered body of Gina Clark, formerly known as Agent 33. When they arrived at the museum, they found that Pepper, Holly and Bucky had managed to take out an entire Hydra team themselves with no civilian deaths and only 3 Hydra agents dead.

 

Scratch that, 2 Hydra agents and one SHIELD agent.

 

Coulson had pulled the Avengers aside and told them what had happened, how Holly had no choice but to use her grafts to humanely kill her old friend because of something Hydra put in her brain. Natasha theorized that after Hydra lost their Winter Soldier, they wanted to make sure that there were no survivors for anyone strong enough to break the brainwashing.

 

Both Barton and Natasha walked over to join Holly, who had been carried over to the spot by Agent Mack, too weak from overloading her grafts to walk herself. They sat on either side of her without speaking. It was strange how the three of them could do that, just know what to do. Steve decided that it was something meant for those who'd known the fallen agent and stayed away as much as he wanted to see how Holly was. He had to consciously keep himself from going over there and scooping her up, thankful she was alright.

 

“Looks like a SHIELD vigil or wake.” Bucky commented softly, managing to use his new crutches to hop over to where Steve was quietly watching as Agents May and Bobbi, along with Director Coulsen stood just behind the sitting trio, silently paying their own respects.

 

They stood together, almost watching over the trio. “She did the right thing, you know that right?”

 

“Of course I do Buck. She did the only thing she could do.” Didn't make it any easier for her. He knew there were parts of her career, actions she had to take that she wished she hadn't. They all did. “Just like you did.” He waved to his friend's injured leg that would no doubt be nearly completely healed in a week or so.

 

“Would you be able to do it? If it was Holly who was brainwashed or if they got me again?”

 

Steve's head snapped to the left sharply and he had to consciously try not to shout. “That is NEVER going to happen. Don't even think that.” There was no way Hydra was ever going to get their filthy hands on his girl or on his best friend ever again.

 

“Can't talk about nevers in this world, punk.” Bucky said softly and sadly. “Look what they did to me when most people would have assumed I died falling from that train.”

 

“We tried looking for you Bucky. For days. We couldn't find you.” Steve said weakly, remembering combing the valleys below the trainline where Bucky's body could have fallen. How he'd argued with Colonel Phillips to the point of near court martial that they had to find Bucky's body. He'd never forgive himself for Hydra managing to find Bucky when he couldn't.

 

“I know you did pal.” Bucky said, nudging him with his shoulder. “But I'm not talking about that. I'm saying you can't assume that something can never happen. Like you becoming Captain America. Like me being able to move on from what Hydra did to me. Stark surviving that shrapnel in his chest. Hydra infiltrating SHIELD for nearly 60 years. I can go on.”

 

Steve let his head drop. “I know, I know.” He'd woken up to a world of things that he thought could never happen. Just the technology. Learning about the damned moon landing alone. Learning that while they won the war with Germany, they'd lost so much more along the way.

 

“Promise me, you'll take care of it, if they got me. I don't want to end up like Clark again. I can't be the Winter Soldier again.”

 

Steve nodded silently, his heart shriveling in his chest at the thought. Would he be able to do it? He hadn't when Bucky had confronted him on the helicarrier. He has no way of knowing as he fell from the carrier that Bucky would rescue him.

 

“And we'll both die before we let them touch Holly or any of these kids.” It was their own way of joking about their advanced ages. Technically, they were older than everyone except for Thor and his people. So when they were teased about being old, they teased right back about everyone else being children.

 

This time, Steve looked Bucky in the eye before nodding. “Got that damn right.”

 

He looked back to see Barton lifting Holly up in his arms, saying something that got her to weakly hit him in the shoulder and Natasha to roll her eyes before he stood up straight and they walked away from the body of the fallen agent, Holly resting her head against Barton's shoulder as he brought her to where Banner had been almost pacing as he waited to take a look at her.

 

**Holly POV**

“How are you feeling?”

 

Holly looked up from the chair she'd been sitting in while Bruce had been examining her, muttering under his breath the whole time. It was taking all of her effort to keep from sliding out of it and on to the floor. And that was scaring her. Even during the worst missions for SHIELD, she'd never felt this weak, this exhausted. Steve looked down at her with sympathetic eyes.

 

“Like I've been unplugged. I feel awful, to be really honest.”

 

Steve nodded faintly. “Coulson told us what happened. I thought you should know, I'm....well, I'm proud of you. Not just for how you and Buck took on an entire group of Hydra alone without losing a civilian or Pepper being hurt. You had to do something very difficult to help an old friend. Not many of us are that strong.”

 

She looked away, having watched Gina's body being taken out of the room on a covered stretcher. “I don't feel strong. I feel like there should have been something else I could have done. Anything but that.”

 

He squatted down next to her and took her hand in his, not showing any reaction to the faint twitching that had started in that hand, kissing her palm. The same palm that had been used recently to kill and had killed in the past but had also been used to help so many and show love to the lucky few. It was slightly reddened, a mild burn from the amount of electricity that had been focused through it. “You know that I know what that's like. And you know what Peggy told me? If I respected Bucky, I had to respect his choice. Clark knew there was no way she could be saved. She asked you to end it. You helped her. She made the real choice, not you Holly.”

 

She closed her eyes and focused on not breaking down. How easy it would be to just break down sobbing in his arms. She knew well how strong and comforting those arms were. How he would think nothing of holding her and protecting her. Comforting her in whatever way she needed. Her throat felt tight and her eyes burned with the near overwhelming need to mourn.

 

No, that was a luxury she didn't deserve right now. It couldn't have been avoided, but just the same, she'd killed a fellow SHIELD agent. She disgusted herself.

 

“Is it alright if I carry you to the Quinjet or would you prefer Barton to?”

 

She opened her eyes and looked at Steve who had nothing but pure concern in his eyes. It wasn't a jealous comment. He'd probably seen Clint carrying her before. “I guess I can't talk you into letting me stay to deal with Ward?” As team leader, he made the final decision. She'd agreed to that when she'd joined the Avengers. And being his girlfriend didn't give her special treatment in the field. Well, at least it hadn't yet. Natasha had mentioned the way Steve had bolted off the jet out of concern for both her and James.

 

He shook his head. “Sorry, no. That's the last thing you need right now. You are coming home with us to New York.” He paused and then added. “On a personal note, are you kidding me? You and Bucky scared the hell out of me, I want you where I can keep an eye on you.”

 

She gritted her teeth as a spasm rocked her leg, making her foot bounce. “Since it doesn't look like I can exactly argue, I guess you carrying me would make the best sense.”

 

“Alright. Are you in pain anywhere?”

 

She shook her head. There was no pain, just the weakness and the inability to control her body for the most part. She wasn't sure if the lack of pain was a good thing or a very bad thing. “No, just beyond exhausted and my muscles are doing Riverdance.” At his confused look she added, “Irish step dancing?”

 

“Oh okay, I get it.” He leaned over and carefully pulled her weak body to him and stood up easily with her in his arms, holding her tightly. She managed to be able to move enough so she could rest her head by the crook of his neck. “I got you.”

 

“You always do.” She murmured, breathing in his strong comforting presence despite her quivering and jumping muscles. “I'm sorry I scared you, sweetheart. But I'm glad we were both here to protect Pepper, stop Hydra.”

 

“And save Gina.”

 

“Yeah.” She swallowed, biting her cheek. “That too.”

 

**Bruce POV**

Holly was quiet on the way back to NY. She was resting in a converted bed on the jet, hooked up to various machines while Bruce puttered around, checking this read out and that to see exactly what using that much energy at once could have potentially done to her.

 

He spared a look at her as she stared out the window, not seeing the clouds outside. He knew she was unhappy about being made to come back to New York when she wanted to stay and assist Coulson's team with the interrogations of the captured Hydra operatives. She wasn't even capable of standing on her own but still wanted to do what she felt was her duty.

 

But as the closest thing to a team doctor, he'd put his foot down and Steve had backed him. Her vitals weren't 100% stable and he didn't like how she had no energy to do most anything. The way she described the feeling of being unplugged worried him. Even with maxing out the grafts, it shouldn't have resulted in these numbers. Though, they'd never expected that Holly would ever need to use the grafts to kill someone.

 

Beyond that though, he knew nothing would be helped by Holly staying behind and facing the Hydra agent that had betrayed Coulson's team and had been there when Agent Triplett had been killed. Vengeance wouldn't bring him back and Bruce had a big soft spot for Holly, he didn't want her going down that dark road.

 

He knew Holly had killed before, many times. He knew that she'd killed in the years after she went inactive from SHIELD, including two members of Hydra from a cell that had been undercover at her college in California. One of the two dead Hydra operatives today had been thanks to her lightsaber, the other had panicked and used his cyanide.

 

But having to kill a fellow SHIELD agent had to be intensely difficult, especially someone she knew. He understood that she had only done it to spare the woman pain but it still didn't take away her own guilt about the whole thing. Just to make the decision alone had to be agonizing, even if it was the right thing to do.

 

“Alright, good news is that I can't see any signs of brain damage. We'll have to wait to get back to New York to see about nerve damage. I'm concerned about the aftereffects of redlining the grafts and how your energy levels have remained low. I'm keeping an eye on your vitals, just in case. Do you have any pain? Any discomfort from the twitching?”

 

She looked up at him with tired blank eyes. He wondered how much of that was exhaustion and how much was trying to deal with what she'd been forced to do. He'd seen that look in Natasha's eyes a few times and in Barton's, especially after everything after the Battle of New York had ended. “No, thanks. I'm fine. Thank you.”

 

He tried another approach. He didn't like the idea of her retreating inside her own head to deal with this. He wanted the Holly who actively tried to make him laugh every day. The Holly, who like her adopted brother, wasn't afraid of him or who he became. “Do you want to talk about it? I'm told I'm a good listener.” Then his ace. “The Other Guy is worried about his Tiny Jedi.”

 

That did it. She weakly reached out her hand and he was quick to take it, knowing how exhausted she was. He was surprised she was even awake but considering her force of will, it wasn't much of a surprise. She was as stubborn as Tony, worse it seemed like at the moment. “I'm alright, both of you. Honest. I was just thinking about Gina. How frightening it must have been, to be locked in her own head, unable to stop what Hydra was making her do.”

 

“I can sympathize with that a lot.” Bruce said, looking at her small hand in his. She had very mild burns from the excessive energy that had been released, but they'd be healed in a day or two thanks to her boosted immune system. Just a bit of antibiotic cream and gauze to keep them clean. “When The Other Guy comes out, sometimes I'm able to...I don't know...I'm in there. Other times I end up just going to sleep almost and then find myself waking up in strange places.”

 

“I know you are Bruce. I told you, it's why he won't kill. Why he saved Tony in NY. Why he saved me in Bavaria. Because of you.” A pause and a slow blink. Even her force of will was having issue with just how tired she was. “Do you think Gina knew about the killswitch? That she resisted on purpose?”

 

“I don't know Holly. I'll work with Coulson's team and maybe we can work on a way to deactivate the killswitches if we encounter any more brainwashed people in the future.” He scratched the back of his head. “Can I ask you what you think your father or brother would have done in the same situation?”

 

Holly's eyes widened. She hadn't expected that question, especially from him. “Umm, wow. I....” She paused, looking off as she considered it. “They would have done the same thing. Rather than make her suffer anymore if there was no way to save her.”

 

“That's what I thought.” He stood up, gently placing her hand on her shoulder. “Why don't you try and get a little bit of sleep? I'm going to keep you in medical for a day or two at least when we get back. Just to keep an eye on you. We need to get your energy back up.”

 

She nodded, yawning a little. “Alright.”

 

 

**Holly POV**

When she woke up again, someone was touching her arm and she jerked, trying to push them away but her muscles weren't working and she was so tired, so weak still. Maybe even more so. She let out a grunt of frustration at the inability to do what was normally so simple.

 

“Hot Lips, it's me. Hey, it's me.” Clint's soft voice broke through the fog, she could feel him stroking her hair for a few minutes to calm her. “I'm just changing your IV for Banner so he doesn't have to get up. It's alright.”

 

It was so hard to stay focused or to open her eyes. “Why...why can't I open my eyes?”

 

“It's the amount of energy you pulled out of yourself catching up with you, sweetheart.” He soothed, both hands now gently massaging the muscles of her face. His rough fingertips were oddly comforting as they expertly moved over her skin. “I think you got a strong muscle relaxant to stop the random twitching and stuff you were doing. How's that? Better?”

 

She managed to open her eyes a little, the lids felt heavy. Clint gave her a smile, stroking her hair again. “Yeah.”

 

“Thirsty?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

He helped her get a drink which consisted of ice chips before easing her back down against her pillows. Brought back memories of waking up in the SHIELD medical center in London after she'd been shot. Clint had been quite the Florence Nightingale then too. Or she should say Clara Barton considering she was his distant relative.

 

“Are we back in NY?”

 

“Yeah. Since yesterday. You were so zonked out, there was no point in trying to wake you. It's going to take you a while to recover from using your grafts like you did.”

 

“I had to. For Gina.”

 

“I know, Hols. I know.” He went back to finishing what he'd been doing with her IV. She was thankful he was doing it because he still knew just how to find her vein without trying. That kind of thing was par for the course when you were SHIELD partners, in field medical training.

 

“She had her gun pointed at me. She was trying to put it down, but she couldn't. It was strange, to have an agent with a gun on me.” She confessed as he disposed of the garbage and returned to her bedside, nonchalantly sitting down on the bed at her hip.

 

“I know that feeling, the lack of control. What Loki did to me, it still messes with my head. More in the last couple months, actually.”

 

“Tell me.”

 

He sighed. “In the last couple months, since Bavaria, the thought has come to me if you hadn't stepped down, you would have been on that helicarrier. No question. Let's face it, Fury wanted you for the Avengers right from the start. You and Nat would have been trying to find me together. I'm so thankful you weren't there.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because if you had been, sweetheart, I could have killed you. I killed SHIELD agents Hols. Friends. I had no control. I was screaming in my head but my arrows kept flying. I almost killed Fury. I almost killed Maria.”

 

She reached out with a weak hand and took his, giving him as best a squeeze as she could manage, which wasn't much. They'd talked about what had happened during everything with Loki back when it first happened but she didn't realize that he still thought about the would have beens and the could have beens of the entire thing.

 

“I almost killed Nat. Fuck, that still makes me nauseous.” He admitted, shaking his head. “I almost killed her. Hell, she almost killed me.”

 

Holly squeezed his hand. “Don't you still have that dent in your head from her? What did she call it? Cognitive recalibration?”

 

Clint pursed his lips at her and rolled his eyes. “Ha ha. Dent.” With his free hand, he flipped her off. “She didn't know that would work. She was just trying to do anything that would keep her from having to kill me if she could.”

 

“I wanted to do that with Gina. Knock her out but...that fucking killswitch.” She took a breath, then another. She didn't want to cry, she didn't deserve that release after what she did. “Fucking Hydra.”

 

Clint nodded sadly. “Yep. Fucking Hydra.” Neither of them said anything for a while before he spoke again. “Want me to stay a little, until you fall asleep?”

 

“Yeah. I'd like that.”

 

“Anything for you, Hols.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to the spot between her eyebrows. He was always one of the more affectionate people she'd ever known. Probably why they'd always gotten along so well. “Love you.”

 

“Hmm. Me too, Legolas.” Sleep grabbed at her quickly and soon enough, she was asleep again.

 


	51. Chapter 51

**Steve POV**

“Captain Rogers, your presence is urgently requested in medical.”

 

Steve looked up, he always did when the disembodied voice of Jarvis spoke to him and shrugged off his jacket. He'd stepped out to pick up some fresh flowers to bring to Holly when he went to visit her today and a few candies in case she was up for a treat. She'd insisted he not spend all his time in medical, that she'd be fine. “What's wrong Jarvis?”

 

“Holly went into a grand mal seizure 8 minutes ago while Sergeant Barnes was visiting her. He requested that you be told immediately.”

 

Steve felt his heart dropped into his feet. A seizure? “Why didn't someone call me to come back when it first happened?” He cursed, running for the elevator, not even bothering to close his apartment door, leaving the flowers behind and forgotten. “Jarvis, what are her vitals?”

 

“Dr. Banner is working to try and bring Holly out of the seizure. Dr. Simmons is on video chat as well as Dr. McCoy from the Xavier Institute. Both are enroute to the Tower as quickly as possible. Her heart rate, blood pressure and breathing are all significantly elevated.”

 

Banner was calling for help? That had to be bad. “Is it the grafts? Are they causing the seizure?” Steve cursed that the elevator couldn't go faster. Taking the stairs would have been smarter. He could have jumped quickly from one flight to another.

 

“No, the grafts have been inactive since the incident in New Jersey. Holly hasn't had the innate energy to power them since redlining them to ease the suffering of Agent Clark.”

 

“It's been days. She should have some kind of energy back. Right?” He remembered her telling him how effortless the use of the grafts was becoming to her as time went by. What the hell was happening that wouldn't even give her the energy to activate them? Is that why Banner had insisted on keeping her in medical?

 

“One would think so.”

 

The doors opened and Steve was through them the second he had enough room to fit, bolting down the hallway. He turned the corner to find that Bucky was waiting for him, chewing his thumbnail. He ran forward ready to go through the door into medical when Bucky physically stopped him, his cybernetic arm like an immovable bar across his chest.

 

“Steve, you can't go in there.” Bucky's eyes looked panicked and sad and it was obvious he was avoiding eye contact. That alone had him worried because Bucky only did that when he was very upset. It was a complete 180 from the man he'd spoken to not even an hour ago before he headed out for the flowers.

 

“The hell I can't. Why not?” He didn't want to have to get physical with his best friend considering it wasn't that long ago that Bucky had been close to completely lost as the Winter Soldier. But everything in him was telling him to get to Holly. It was akin to how he felt that horrible day in Bavaria but worse because now they were together. He was near panicked because he felt like he hadn't told her enough, shown her just how much he truly cared about her. Why hadn't he done that already?

 

“Because none of us can.” A tense looking Pepper told him, waving her hand to where both Barton and Natasha were pacing. Their show of worry was another red flag to him. Normally the two other members of Delta were the near expressionless counterpoints to Holly's passionate personality. He didn't like how Natasha kept worrying the pair of necklaces she wore, the arrow and the sword. “Tony's only in there because of the grafts and that he's family.”

 

Family only? His stomach dropped to his feet again. “Is...is it that bad? What the hell happened?”

 

Bucky shook his head. “I don't know! She was fine, I was talking to her about watching that Jaws picture again and she made this random comment about smelling oranges. Then her eyes rolled back and she started just violently thrashing.” He winced, running his hand through his hair. “Did I miss something? Should she have been sleeping?”

 

“James, you didn't cause the seizure.” Pepper soothed, putting her hands on his arm. “Come on, let's all sit down.”

 

She led the two into what was effectively a waiting room. With the amount of danger being an Avenger entailed very specific and detailed medical facilities. Stark had recruited doctors who lived in New York and were on call should an Avenger fall and need help. He wondered if the blue furred Dr. McCoy was one of those doctors.

 

He didn't want to sit down but he could tell that Pepper was just as worried about Holly as he was, so he sat. The fact that Barton and Natasha, no longer pacing at Pepper's insistence, were openly holding hands didn't help ease his concern. “So how serious is this?”

 

“Bad enough that Bruce called for help because it wouldn't stop. Coulson and Jemma are flying in and so is Hank from the Xavier Institute.” Pepper said softly. “She has no history of seizures and with the grafts not even working...” Her voice faded and she shook her head.

 

“What can Coulson do?” The Director was a gifted man but last Steve knew, the man didn't have any medical expertise

 

Barton spoke up. “Because along with myself and Nat, we have Holly's power of attorney.” At Steve's confused look, he explained. “The three of us are the only ones who can make medical decisions for her if she is unable to.” His jaw tightened. “She knows that between the 3 of us, we can be objective. Stark can't.”

 

Steve took a deep breath, hoping the trio wouldn't have to make use of that ability. It would obviously be a very difficult one but he was glad that the weight wasn't on one person. He wondered if it had been standard SHIELD practice to make that responsibility a group decision or if that had been Holly thinking ahead.

 

“How the hell could I ever be objective? She's my little sister.” Stark said, only sounding a little indignant as he stood in the doorway, arms crossed. He looked exhausted in just the hour or so since he'd teased Steve about his little trip out into the city to get flowers for Holly.

 

Pepper went right to his arms and Steve could see that Stark was taking needed comfort from his girlfriend's presence, pressing his face into her hair briefly. Gently, he moved her to his side so he could address the group. “Okay, first off, the seizure is finally over. Her vitals aren't the best, but they are stable enough to where Bruce isn't showing shades of green with worry. Brain activity is fine. The seizure didn't cause any brain damage.”

 

“Thank god.” Bucky muttered absently crossing himself like the good Catholic boy he'd been 75 years ago. “Is she going to be okay?”

 

“She should be, with time. We're going to have a bit of a power conference in a bit, once McCoy, Jemma and Coulson get here. There are a few options to try and help her out and we need to figure out what's best for Holly. Once there's a plan or whatever, you two and Coulson will have to make the decision. She's still unconscious.” He sighed, putting his hand through his hair. “Do I have any gray? Seriously? I swear I've aged 10 years in the last 15 minutes.”

 

Pepper shook her head and kept her arm around Stark. It was obvious he was more concerned than he was trying to act.

 

“Can we see her?” Barton asked, his own brow furrowed. A look told Steve that Barton also saw that Stark was more concerned than he was letting on. If Stark was worried, it wasn't good.

 

“Not right now. Bruce is trying to make sure she doesn't have another seizure and she's sedated. As soon as he says okay, everyone's welcome.” He turned to where Bucky was sitting, looking miserable. “You helped her, by being there, Buckaroo Bonzai. You got help faster than just an alert from the machine would have. Thank you.”

 

Steve was impressed. Stark saying thank you? Giving someone else credit? “Is there anything we can do?” He hated not being able to do something, anything to help. He wanted to be in there, even if it was just to hold her hand. Whether she was awake or not, maybe she could still hear him.

 

Stark shook his head. “No, not at this point. Jarvis will let you all know if anything happens or when she can see visitors.” He looked to Steve. “I swear, Cap, we're going to do everything and anything to take care of her. I'll keep you updated.”

 

 

**Holly POV**

When Holly woke up, she felt worse than she had before and couldn't figure out why. Her head felt like it was full of rocks and it felt like there were weights holding her whole body down. What was going on?

 

She weakly licked at her lips and tried to open her eyes, fighting the urge to slip back into the darkness and go back to sleep. She had to know what was going on first. She got them open a little, then a little more and saw that she was in medical. She could hear different machines beeping and something told her there were more than before.

 

With a little more effort, she saw Tony looking at something with a very serious expression on a pad from the chair next to her. She wasn't able to focus her eyes enough to be able to see what it was. Why was that so hard?

 

“Ony?” She managed to murmur, her throat tight and dry.

 

“Hey, there's sleeping beauty.” Tony said with a smile, putting down his pad and moving to sit at her hip on the bed. “How do you feel?”

 

“Like Bruce hulked out and accidentally sat on me? What's going on? I feel horrible.”

 

He gave her a little smile, touching her face absently. “You had a pretty bad seizure kid. You were talking with Barnes and then presto, instant Grand Mal. Should have seen how fast he got you help. Guy has one arm and a hurt leg and hops like a motherfucker.”

 

Holly wished she could roll her eyes. It was beginning to scare her that she couldn't even do that. “How bad was it?”

 

“Bad enough that Bruce's skin had a green tinge to it the whole time he was trying to stop it. We called in Jemma and Hank.” He turned and nodded to someone and was joined by Nat, Clint and Coulson. Immediately part of her really began to panic. If they had called in Coulson, then they must have had to act on their power of attorney.

 

“Am...am I dying?”

 

Tony's eyes grew large. “No! No no no no. No you aren't. Jesus. Don't even say those words.” He had one hand resting over his arc reactor.

 

“Yeah Hot Lips, don't even say that. You aren't. Trust me.” Clint reached out and gently squeezed her foot under the blankets.

 

“You were unconscious for a while, Holly.” Coulson's gentle voice was soothing as he took the hand that Tony wasn't holding. “We wanted to get the treatment plan in motion than wait for you to wake and lose the opportunity, potentially. You are going to be just fine.”

 

“What is the treatment plan? You all look so serious. Did you already do it? I don't feel any better.”

 

“You haven't been treated yet.” Natasha said, her fingers at her necklaces. “Banner said you could be woken up and we thought we should tell you about it before they just did it. You need to know.”

 

“Know what? What's the treatment?”

 

Tony sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We dose you again with the serum.”

 

That took Holly for a shock. The serum could help her? Where were they going to get it? She thought after the fall of SHIELD that it had been destroyed rather than let Hydra get it. “How? It's gone. Isn't it?”

 

Clint shook his head. “Your dad was a smart guy Hols. He might not have known Hydra had infiltrated but he loved to save things for a rainy day. You know how Hank McCoy worked with SHIELD for your first dose?”

 

She nodded, her head fuzzy. What did this have to do with Hank and her father? “Yeah. Because he knew my mom and was an expert with mutant DNA, Daddy asked him to be our doctor. Me and Eddie.”

 

“That's right. Well apparently, your dad might have let Hank go home with a few party favors.” Coulson said with a little quirk to his lips. She knew that her dad inspired some of his style of leadership, including planning in advance for nearly any contingency.

 

She furrowed her brow. “He let him have the serum?”

 

“Yep.” Tony confirmed. “And a copy of all the research, all of it. Even some of the stuff my dad worked on. Everything.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because your father believed in the tale of the smart squirrel. You don't keep all your nuts in one tree.”

 

Holly looked over to see the familiar blue fur and cat like face of Hank McCoy, dressed in a rather oversized and probably custom made lab coat, wearing glasses of all things. She'd wager he probably had better vision than Clint and wore the glasses for just the look. “That sounds perverted, Hank. Shame on you.”

 

Hank grinned, his sharp incisors showing. “She sounds like you, Tony.”

 

“She is my little sister, legally, you know.” Tony said, leaning down and kissing her forehead affectionately. “Hank, why don't you explain the treatment to Holly?”

 

“Well, simply put, the only reason your grafts that Dr. Banner and your adopted brother made for you worked in the first place was because of the enhancement, however minimal, that the serum paired with your mutant DNA gave you. I believe that as the serum took Captain Rogers from a 90lb weakling to the man we see today and the version Sergeant Barnes was given allowed him to survive his fall in 1944, that giving you more will have the same effect. Dr. Simmons agrees.”

 

Holly blinked, trying to concentrate. “And if I don't?”

 

“It will take you a very long time to recover, Holly. I don't know if you would ever be at 100% again.”

 

She swallowed and blinked hard, the thought of not being able to have her physicality, to be able to fight and help others was horrible to even comprehend. One of the machines gave a soft tone alarm and she saw a blurred red number. Tony immediately grabbed her hand. “Hey, hey, don't. Okay? Let's stay calm. We're going to figure this out.”

 

“How much are you going to give me?”

 

“You were given a quarter of what Captain Rogers received in 1943. That dose is what I believe is what has kept you out of a coma. I also believe giving you a full dose now would do the trick. It would be able to recover you from what your gift of mercy for Agent Clark took as well as increase your metabolism enough so that you would be able to recover on your own and more quickly from similar uses of energy. You would effectively be a super soldier, like Captain Rogers.”

 

“What else would it do? I don't want to be an Amazon.”

 

Tony didn't bother to try and hide the laugh he felt, neither did Clint or Coulson and Hank chuckled. “I believe you are referring to the height gain that Captain Rogers experienced? We are more able to customize the serum now. The serum's effect on Captain Rogers activated dormant DNA, allowing him to be the height and health that he could have been without all his ailments and such.”  
  


She looked to the three people who'd made the decision for her. “I'm sorry you had to make the decision.” She turned to Tony. “You understand why they had to make it and not you, right?”

 

Tony sighed. “Because I would willingly sink the entire damn island of Manhattan myself if it meant saving you. I know.”

 

She smiled weakly, knowing he wasn't kidding. “That's a bit overdramatic, Ony.”

 

“It's the truth. They need to do the treatment soon. Bruce is prepping the equipment. Thankfully we only had to do a few modifications. Do you want anything?”

 

She thought about it. “Does Steve know what the treatment is? It's his serum they are using. Is he okay with it?”

 

“Hols, he's okay with anything that helps you get better.” Clint spoke up. “I'm pretty sure if it meant walking to Florida entirely on his hands, he'd already be in Virginia.”

 

“Clint that's ridiculous. Maybe Pennsylvania.” Nat spoke up, a playful smirk on her lips.

 

**Steve POV**

Natasha was the first one to leave medical and Steve was quick to move, grabbing her arm and pulling her down the hall. “How is she? Is she awake? What's going on?”

 

The redhead instinctively pulled her arm out of his grip. “Hold on for a second Steve.” She sighed, looking toward the door she'd just come out of before looking to him. “She's stable. She's awake but very weak. We already made the decision for treatment but woke her to let her know.”

 

“What's the treatment?”

 

Natasha's eyes locked on his. “Dosing her again with the serum. She'll have a full dose.”

 

That threw Steve for a loop. “I thought the serum was destroyed or lost when SHIELD fell.”

 

“So did Holly. Her father secretly gave some of it to McCoy along with the research for safe keeping after she got it the first time.”

 

“And it'll help her?” He wondered just how much it would change her or if it would at all. Maybe it would just enhance her skills and healing like before, increased speed and agility.

 

“They think it will. They are going to do it in the next few hours.”

 

He sighed, turning away from the spy and taking a deep breath. He didn't want to think about Holly going through that much pain and discomfort but knew that if that was the only choice that was available, then it would have to happen. “What does she think about it?”

 

“She's scared. But not about the treatment. There's a chance that without it, she'd never...fully recover.” The spy crossed her arms and hugged herself, looking away from him.

 

He turned back at the waver in the spy's voice. “Those damned grafts.”

 

Natasha shook her head. “It's not the fault of the grafts, they worked the way they were meant to. She just pushed too much through them. She was so desperate to help Clark that she nearly...”

 

Steve said nothing but moved forward and gently pulled Natasha into his arms. As much as he cared and felt about Holly, he had to remember that the others here with the exceptions of himself, Bucky and Bruce had all known her much longer. Next to Barton, Holly must have been one of the first people Natasha had found herself trusting after she defected. He knew there was a deep affection, beyond a sisterly bond between the pair. Seeing her like this had to be intensely difficult.

 

“She'll be alright, Nat. She's tough. We'll be here for her.”

 

A small nod against his chest. He was proud that he was one of the few people Natasha felt enough trust for that she would allow him to show her comfort.

 

A bit of movement had him look down the hall where he saw Coulson watching with strained eyes. He gave Steve a nod before turning away and presumingly heading back to the waiting room.

 

“What the HELL are you doing here?”

 

Both Steve and Natasha looked at each other in surprise at the anger in Barton's voice from the direction of the waiting room. Knowing the archer was in SHIELD terminology, emotionally compromised because of Holly's health crisis, the pair took off at a run to hopefully stop or help their teammate with whatever he was so upset about.

 

They arrived at the waiting room to find a unique scene. Pepper and Bucky were standing in front of the lawyer and Holly's ex, Matt Murdock who had moved in front of his partner Foggy Nelson who looked completely terrified. No doubt the portly lawyer knew that Barton was just as skilled as Holly and she wasn't there to stop him. Standing to Barton's side with his arms crossed and not looking amused at all were Coulson and Stark.

 

“I asked Jarvis to call him and Foggy, Clint.” Pepper spoke up. “They are still her lawyers and how many times does Holly need to say that the past is the past for you to get it?”

 

“She can say it but I know her Pepper. And I know what that asshole did to her too. You gve up any right to be here, Murdock!”

 

“I think that should be Holly's decision. I just want to support her.”

 

“Support her somewhere else.” Coulson said in a low and dangerous tone. As much as Coulson tried to be impartial when it came to his agents, Steve knew that the SHIELD director had a special affection for the Delta Strike members and especially Holly since he'd worked with her since she was a teenager. No doubt the man felt that he was trying to represent her father who from what Holly had told him had never liked Murdock.

 

“Enough. This stops now.” Steve took the initiative and stepped between the two groups. “Holly does not need this bickering going on when she has a major procedure coming up. It won't help her.” He turned to Murdock and held out his hand as Pepper and Bucky stepped to the side but kept an eye on the other men. He kind of liked how well the pair worked together. Maybe Bucky could work for Pepper in a similar fashion as Happy Hogan if he wanted. “Murdock. I wish this was a visit for a happier reason.”

 

“Me too, Captain.” Murdock shook his hand, no doubt using his extra senses to be able to do so since he couldn't actually see it. “Jarvis clued us in on the way here as to what was going on. Is there anything we can do?”

 

Steve shook Foggy's hand with both of his, still amused at the awe in the lawyer's eyes. “I think a short visit might be a nice distraction. You'll have to wait until Banner says it's okay. I'm going to wait till before the procedure so I can stay longer.”

 

“Thanks Cap.” Foggy said, keeping an eye on Barton who was all but being hauled out of the room by Nat and Coulson followed.

 

**Holly POV**

Holly opened her eyes with an effort that was sadly becoming familiar, confused when she suddenly smelled Old Spice. There stood a very somber and concerned Foggy Nelson, trying his best to be cheerful. “Foggy?”

 

“Hey there kiddo. Miss Potts had Jarvis call, let us know what was going on.” He took one of her hands in both of his. “How do you manage to still be one of the sexiest women in Manhattan while in a hospital bed? Cosmopolitian wanted to know.”

 

She managed a smile, always loving the lawyer's way of wanting to make everyone feel better. “It's an old SHIELD secret. Can't tell.” Then she caught what he'd said before. “Wait, us?”

 

Matt stepped forward into her line of sight, his glasses off because he knew she preferred it that way so she could read his face. He might not have sight like everyone else but he still had facial expressions and she wasn't going to let him get away with rolling his eyes at her from behind the safety of his sunglasses. “Hello, love.”

 

“Matt. Hi.” She said, wondering just how worried Pepper was that she'd taken the risk at calling the pair in from Hell's Kitchen to see her. “Did you avoid Clint? I don't see bruises or blood.”

 

“Captain Rogers stepped in before Barton could get to the beating he's wanted to give me for the last 20 years. Miss Potts and Sergeant Barnes also stood to my defense. It was kind of nice.” He paused. “Can, can I sit with you for a minute?”

 

“Yeah. It's okay.” She waited till the two were situated, Foggy sitting back and letting Matt sit closer, before she asked a question. “Matt, how bad am I? What do your senses tell you? Honest.”

 

Matt flinched. He didn't want to tell her. He always moved his left shoulder back when he was hesitant about something. “It's not good Holly. I can barely sense that netting Stark put in you. I can smell that you had a seizure.” He waved his hand. “It's your hormones, nothing else. Certain ones are produced before and after seizures.”

 

That put her at ease, she didn't want to know if there was another way. “They're gonna juice me up again. Give me a full dose of serum. Daddy gave some to Hank. They think, they hope it'll heal me or something.”

 

“They don't know for sure?” Foggy spoke up.

 

“It's kind of a precedent. No one's ever had this netting before or used it to....to do what I did to end up here.”

 

Matt boldly took her hand in both of his. “Jarvis told us about Gina. I'm sorry, Holly. She was a good agent.”

 

Holly closed her eyes, still struggling with the fact that she wasn't able to save her old friend in any other way than to kill her quickly. “She deserved so much better.”

 

“She wasn't alone and it was quick.” Matt said softly. “I think your dad and brother would have done the same thing. Peggy too.”

 

She opened her eyes and sighed. He was right. She hated when he was right. “Thank you for coming all this way. It's....it's nice.”

 

“I've learned from my mistakes. Not all of them, just the big ones.” Matt said, his tone still soft. “Is there anything you want or need us to do?”

 

She thought about it and then shook her head. “No. But you might not want to be here when they do it. With your senses, it'd overwhelm you.” She wasn't looking forward to going through the procedure that'd been painful enough the first time but now she was getting the full treatment. That could only mean more pain and discomfort.

 

“If you want us to stay, we will. I'll be fine.” Matt said firmly. “I know this is late in coming, too late, but I'm here today.”

 

She could hear it in his voice and the way he was sitting as well as the way his eyebrows were furrowed and lifted. Matt Murdock, The Devil of Hell's Kitchen and the Man Without Fear was scared. He'd made the choices that led him to lose her once and here he was powerless to potentially stop it from happening again and this time permanently. Foggy was all but holding a huge sign expressing how he was feeling.

 

“Thank you. I'll be okay. Tony and Bruce and everyone, they got this. This is what they do.” She gave his hand a weak squeeze, knowing the weakness wasn't going to do much to alleviate the vigilante's trepidation. “Go home. Jarvis can contact you when it's over.” She paused. “It's gonna be bad, Matt. You heard the footage of when Steve went through it. I don't even know how I'm going to control my telekinesis for it.”

 

Matt was about to insist but stopped when Foggy put his hand on his shoulder. He let out a sigh. “Alright. You'll be fine. Stark wouldn't do anything to risk hurting you. When you feel better, stop by the office, okay? Maybe we can all have lunch, like the old days, kinda.”

 

He was trying and she'd give him credit for that. It was awkward and obviously the fact that Clint still wanted to beat Matt's face in was an issue. But she was willing to try to at least be friends with the man, no matter how badly he'd hurt her. “Yeah, that'd be nice. Foggy, make sure he doesn't try to sneak off to come back here, okay?”

 

Matt snickered and so did Foggy. “I'll sit right on him if I have to.” Foggy promised before stepping forward and kissing her forehead. “You go kick that procedure in the ass, Holly. We have a lunch date.”

 

“Yeah we do. Thanks Foggy.” She felt so tired and looked to Matt who was observing her in every other way but actual normal sight. “Don't sense me like that Matt. I'll be okay.”

 

He gave her a smile before lifting her hand and kissing her knuckles. “I believe you. We'll see you soon, alright?”

 

“Sooner than you think.”

 

 

 


	52. Chapter 52

**Steve POV**

Steve walked into the lab, his only focus on the biobed and the form of Holly laying on it. She was only slightly elevated and despite her condition, turned her head and saw him coming, her small hand reaching for him. “Hi baby.”

 

He was quick to take her weak hand in both of his, pressing kisses to her fingers. It was the first time he'd seen her since before her seizure. He'd had to steel himself to see her like this, not wanting to think back to when they first met and she'd nearly been killed in Bavaria. “Hello beautiful.”

 

“Sorry about this. Is James alright?”

 

He smiled and leaned forward, kissing her forehead. “He's good. That's from him.” He gently pressed his lips to hers. “That's from me.”

 

“I should hope so.” She said, faintly smiling as her blue eyes searched his. “Don't worry, I'm going to be just fine soon.”

 

“I know you will doll. And then you and I are going to have a weekend to ourselves. Just like we've talked about.” That earned him a soft smile. They'd been talking about taking a romantic weekend since Bucky was doing so much better and they hadn't had the chance since they started dating. Had it really only been a few weeks?

 

“I bet this brings back some memories.” Holly murmured softly a few minutes later as Banner was attaching monitoring things to her chest and head. She sounded like it was a struggle to stay awake. He wondered if she'd even remember this conversation at all after. How awake had she managed to be for Murdock and Nelson?

 

“Yeah, a few.” It was strange to see someone else going through the serum process. Instead of German emigrant, Dr. Erskine, it was three doctors, one who became the Hulk, one who looked like a blue lion on two legs and another who was a mousy Brit. Then, instead of Howard Stark, it was his son. “You've done this before, so you know what to expect, right?”

 

“Yeah. Some stuff has changed and it's a full dose. It'll probably hurt a lot.” She looked a little scared, hesitant. “But if I don't, I might never get better.”

 

Steve nodded. He understood how much Holly's physicality meant to her. If someone told him he had to go back to his pre-serum status, he'd fight like hell. Holly had never experienced weakness like this, she had to be terrified. “You'll be fine. We're all going to be with you, just in the observation room. You've got good people taking care of you.”

 

“I wish Peggy was here. She was last time.”

 

He stroked her hair. “I know, Holly. She was there for me too. It'll be okay. She's here in heart.”

 

“Steve, we need to start.” Bruce said softly.

 

“Okay doc.” He looked down at Holly and gave her hand a squeeze. There was more that he wanted to say but he couldn't find the words even though they'd been running through his head of hours. He didn't want to tell her a big confession before she underwent the serum process. He had a bad feeling it was going to hurt a lot worse than even she imagined. “See you soon, doll.” He leaned over and pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead and then her lips before heading for the door that led to the observation room where the others were waiting.

 

**Clint POV**

Clint winced both from the bright light and the sound of Holly's scream of pain; something he never wanted to hear. He wished he'd thought to turn off his hearing aids. Then he was surprised to hear her yelling “I can do this!” while Rogers murmured it with wide eyes after Hank had asked if she wanted to keep going. He had just watched the old time recording of the treatment that had made him Captain America so he'd have a better idea of what was going to happen to Holly. Cap had cried out the very same thing when Dr. Erksine and Peggy Carter had wanted to stop the treatment. Rogers had to be having major flashbacks. Or he was just worrying about Holly?

 

He wished he could see her, but the converted hydrabolic chamber was closed as it dosed her with the radiation to activate the serum that Howard Stark had called Vita Rays. The lights in the observation room seemed to dim as they increased within the chamber making everyone avert their eyes. He hoped this would work. It had to.

 

“Steve is this what they did to you?” Barnes' voice was weak, no doubt affected by the sound of her scream. They might not be having their DNA rewritten like Holly was but it didn't make it any easier for those observing her in pain. “I don't remember how they did it to me.”

 

“Yes.” Steve said softly, never looking away from the chamber. “It's strange to see it from this point of view. It's probably similar to what they did to you Buck.”

 

Clint turned his head to see Nat focused on the chamber as well that was now powering down, the process complete. As cold as some people thought she was, Natasha loved Holly like he did, often calling her _syestra_ , or little sister, even though they were barely a year apart in age. The three of them had a strange bond and he was thankful everyday for whatever string of fate had led him to have both of them in his life. He wondered if she was thinking about what the Red Room had done to her to make her the Black Widow. He gave her fingers a squeeze, her hand having found his as the chamber closed on Holly.

 

They watched as the chamber was opened and tilted up, a gasping Holly with her eyes closed revealed.

 

“Oh my god, look at her.” Pepper gasped.

 

What Pepper was referring to was the fact that Holly most definitely had her energy back, the grafts were completely active, giving her skin an eerie glow. She'd been clad in only what she would wear for a workout. Her lean body was more noticeably defined and he could see that she'd filled out her top a bit more. He was a guy, that was something he'd notice. He'd known her for nearly 20 years now, he would notice the small details. Her eyes opened and as she blinked, Clint could see the contacts changing color, cycling through their programming. It looked like the procedure had worked but no one in the observation room dared to say anything until it was confirmed. Jemma Simmons and Banner both moved to her side, asking her how she felt as they help her step down, removing the monitoring sensors. She was standing, that was something considering she'd barely been able to open her eyes just a few hours ago.

 

Stark scanned her with something in his hand and nodded with a pleased smirk before bear hugging her in relief. Her forehead rested against his shoulder and you could almost hear the sigh of relief from all the observers when her arms moved rather easily around her adopted brother and hugged him back.

 

It was strange just how happy it made him to see her standing on her own, once Stark moved back, rolling her neck and stretching out her arms and legs, her fingers and toes. She looked up and gave the biggest most brilliant smile he was sure he'd ever seen and announced to the observers, her friends, “I'm baaaaack!”

 

Soon after, everyone had piled into the lab to see her up close. Barnes was first, having been there from the start of this whole thing, from the overloading use of her grafts to the seizure he'd been unfortunate enough to witness. He went straight up to Holly, looking her right in the eyes, his hands hesitating and then resting lightly on her shoulders before he said, “Mache keine Angst mich so wieder! Sind Sie ganz richtig?” _Don't scare me like that again! Are you alright?”_

 

Barnes probably didn't realize how many of them were fluent in multiple languages, just like him. No doubt the man didn't even realize he'd slipped into German in his anxious concern to know she was okay. Just the same, he wouldn't say anything. It had been obvious to all how scared Barnes had been, having grown rather attached to Holly but in a much different way than his best friend had. She had shown a trust in him from the start that he was sure Barnes hadn't experienced since before he'd fallen from that train and been separated from Rogers.

 

She smiled at him, looking like she felt like a million bucks. It was the same face she had when they'd managed to save those school kids from a sex slave operation in Seoul. She replied with soft words. “Schätzchen, ich bin lieber als ganz richtig. Ich wollte nicht, Sie zu erschrecken. Ich bin froh, dass du da warst, um Hilfe zu erhalten “ _Sweetheart, I'm better than alright. I didn't want to scare you. I'm glad you were there to get me help._

 

He hugged her then and she hugged him back, looking pleased at just the simple act. She was overjoyed just to be able to move easily on her own.

 

She and Natasha shared quiet words while clasping hands. “Я очень рад, что ты чувство лучше, маленькая сестра.” _I am very glad to see you feeling better little sister._

 

To which Holly replied, “Вот два из нас. Мне жаль, если я беспокоился вас.” _That would be two of us. I'm sorry I made you worry._

 

He simply hugged her and told her in good old English how happy he was to see her bigger and better, laughing when she gave him a goose and a kiss on the cheek, complete with a roll of the eyes. Then she looked down and noticed what he was talking about. “Oh. Would you look at that. Hmm.”

 

Clint watched as Rogers quietly asked her to grip his hand as hard as she could, no doubt wanting to see just how much the serum had managed to increase her strength. The raising of his eyebrows told Clint it had been rather significant. Then he pulled her into his arms, off her feet and said something Clint couldn't hear with his hearing aids but could definitely read from Rogers' lips. “I don't even have the words for how I feel right now doll.”

 

“How are the grafts Holly?”

 

“Oh fantastic.” She said, smiling at Banner, one arm still around Rogers and his around her. “It's strange how naked I felt when they wouldn't work. I feel completely energized now. I feel so damn good!” She looked back to Steve. “Is this how you finally felt after you got the chance to catch a breath when you got the full dose?”

 

No doubt she was referring to how Rogers had almost immediately had to chase down Hydra agents after receiving his treatment, barefoot through the streets of Brooklyn.

 

“Once I got the chance, yeah. It was really good to be able to run without getting winded. And being taller was nice too.”

 

“I like being this size. Makes it that much more satisfying when I kick a big guy's ass.” She grinned. “Right Nat?”

 

“They always underestimate us.”

 

“Wow, if I knew I'd feel this good, I would have had a full dose of the serum years ago. Who'd have thought that I'd have the right DNA to be able to withstand the super soldier serum this well? Bit of irony I think Dum Dum would appreciate.”

 

“Let's not get ahead of ourselves. I want to monitor you and make sure the serum stabilizes everything before I let you go.”

 

“Aww come on Bruce! I'm better! Look at me!”

 

“I am Holly and your energy levels are now through the roof. Try and concentrate on calming down, alright? You are practically lighting the room with your grafts.” He was trying not to smile at how exuberant she was. It was similar to the same barely hidden smile he often had for Stark's bad jokes.

 

“Yes, Dr. Banner.” She teased, stepping away from Rogers for a moment. Closing her eyes, she put her hands together and took a deep breath. She pulled her hands apart and then forward, like she was pushing something away. Then toward each other and then toward herself. He recognized the technique as one that Melinda May taught only a few agents. As she repeated it, the glow to her skin lessened until it was just her natural tone again. She opened her eyes, still happy but calmer. “Better?”

 

“Very good, Holly. Now come over here so I can do a few tests.”

 

**Steve POV**

“Dr. Grey! I'm surprised to see you here.” Steve greeted the redhead as she walked into the medical wing where Holly was getting one last check up before her medical team fully signed off on her clean bill of health. It was strange to think they were at this point when not even 2 days ago she'd been bed bound. After she was cleared, he had plans to take Holly away for a few days. And by plans he meant a bag for each of them and his motorcycle ready to go. He could care less for where they ended up just as long as she was with him. “Afraid we planned on keeping Dr. McCoy?”

 

“Hello Steve, please, it's Jean.” She nodded in greeting to the others in the room. “Actually, I'm here to see Holly.” She looked to her old friend, sitting in a chair, Banner having just finished doing her blood pressure. “How are you feeling, Holly?”

 

“I'm good. Really good.” She furrowed her brow a moment later. “Jean, what are you doing?”

 

A small smile. “You felt me probing?”

 

“Yeah of course I did. Why were you is what I'm wondering.”

 

“Just a theory of mine, Holly. Don't be upset with Jean.” McCoy soothed. “Could you please use your mutant ability to bring that chair over here?”

 

She looked confused and nodded, looking to the chair and floating it over. “Okay?”

 

“Yes, very good. One more test.” Out of his pocket, he pulled out bag of tiny beads of different colors and poured them into the palm of his large paw. “Look closely. I want you to mentally gather only the red beads.” Then, unexpectedly, he tossed the handful in the air.

 

It was a marvel to watch as Holly silently held out her hands, stopping the beads midair and then moved one hand to the left, all the red beads gathering together while the other colors came together and then both piles came to rest in her own cupped hands. “Okay?”

 

“Holly, you do realize that you just did a telekinetic test you were never able to complete when you were at the mansion, right?” Jean asked softly.

 

Holly still looked confused. “I was able to separate out the beads before.”

 

“But you weren't able to stop them in midair, separate them and then gather them. You'd only be able to gather the red by allowing the others to fall away. Even that was a strain for you.” Hank said. “Remember?”

 

“What does that mean? Does it have to do with the serum?” She looked to Steve who simply shrugged, resting his hand on her shoulder. Despite his efforts to educate himself, he was still clueless when it came to mutant abilities. Any show of her ability was amazing to him.

 

McCoy held up his paw to Holly before addressing the room. “Jarvis, can you please project a 3D image of Holly's brain and show the activity for the last few minutes?” The lab had scanners throughout it to make it easier for multiple patients.

 

The image came up a moment later and they all watched as a small area toward the back of her brain lit up.

 

“What does that mean?” Holly asked, Steve squeezing her shoulder in support. Whatever this meant, he was going to be right there to help her however he could. “Is it something wrong?”

 

“No Holly.” Jean soothed. “You know that the average human only uses 10% of their brain and depending on the level of mutant, around 17%, correct?”

 

She nodded. “Yeah. I remember when I was tested. Since my father wasn't a mutant, I was only around 15%. That's Delta level.”

 

“that's right. If I am reading this correctly, and I believe I am, you are now around 21%.” Hank said gently. “To give you an idea of what that means, Jean and the professor are at 26%.”

 

She blinked in shock. “Wait, so...I'm not Delta level anymore? How can that be?” She held up her arms and looked at her own body. “I'm not manifesting physically like a Gamma would and obviously I'm not an Omega like Jean or the professor.” Holly had told him about how she'd had to be able to classify a potential mutant when she'd been a SHIELD agent so they would better know the potential threat the person posed.

 

“Not every Gamma manifests physically, Holly. As to how it could be, I'd wager it has to do with the serum. It had to be customized to accommodate your mutant ability and as a result, boosted it in a way. Now it won't be as much of a strain to accomplish tasks with it that otherwise would have left you with a migraine or a nosebleed. Congratuations.”

 

Holly blinked. “Holy shit.”

 

Jean chuckled. “That's one way of putting it. If you like, why don't we go somewhere together and I can help you on focusing and honing it. You are much stronger now and probably could use a bit of control exercise. Would that be alright?”

 

Holly looked to Steve and nodded. Dr. Grey was a strong telekinetic, she would be the best to teach Holly. “Yeah, that's probably for the best. I don't want to accidentally hurt someone. It shouldn't take very long considering I'm not exactly a novice at this.”

 

“There's no rush, doll. Let's do everything you need to. Our weekend isn't going anywhere.”

 


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go with a small chapter. Sorry kids. I've finally started getting to the last of the stuff that I already have written and I'm more than blocked on writing new stuff. Blame chronic fatigue, Supernatural and Jensen Ackles.
> 
> Please feel free to comment, I love feedback!

**Holly POV**

Holly collapsed against Steve, even her more enhanced endurance not much of a match for a still very relieved super soldier boyfriend. She was honestly impressed with his restraint on the way here, surprised they made it into the cabin. They hadn't made exact plans for their weekend together before everything happened in New Jersey just that it was going to be the two of them and a couple good days of privacy.

 

So far that privacy had pretty much meant them staying in almost near constant contact and clothing had been pretty much a wasted effort.

 

Steve's arms wrapped around her as even he panted for breath, humming in contentment under his breath as he moved them both to their sides with her between him and the fireplace of their cabin. She was surprised he'd even given her the chance to telekinetically move the mattress off the bed and set it on the floor before the fireplace, moving the couch out of the way at the same time before he almost tackled her and kissed her senseless.

 

“This was a good idea.” He muttered after a while. “Probably would have broken the bed. Again.”

 

She giggled against his neck, the heat of the fireplace warm against her back and ass. “I am a profiler, you know. Not that I needed those skills to see you were gonna jump me the second you could.”

 

“Sure, tease me. Go ahead.”

 

She pulled back and looked at him, his eyes lazy and content, a smirk on his lips and his blonde hair in all kinds of disarray. “It's not teasing if I'm right. Who'd have thought Captain America would be all sex crazed.”

 

“I'm not sex crazed.” He rolled his eyes as he leaned in to kiss her. “I'm Holly crazed.”

 

That made her grin and kiss him back sweetly, her tanned hand standing out against his cheek. “That's one of the nicest things I've ever had someone say to me.”

 

Steve's eyes grew serious. “I should tell you more. I was stupid, before everything in New Jersey to not tell you. You always think you have more time until you don't. You'd think I'd have learned that. And then we get an alert from Jarvis that you and Buck and Pepper were fighting Hydra and then you lost all your energy.” He babbled, a bit of his Brooklyn accent showing. “When I found out about the seizure, I was so scared. More than I was when Schmidt's plane was going to the ice.”

 

Holly was a bit taken aback by Steve's rather wordy confession, knowing he'd been worried when they heard about the Hydra attack and then when her body refused to recover from her overuse of her grafts. But scared? That would explain the last couple days of him being near insatiable. Overcompensation. “Sweetheart, why were you scared?”

 

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them, his blue eyes wide and expressive as they searched her face like he wanted to remember this exact moment perfectly. No doubt he actually was unconsciously committing this moment to his eidetic memory without realizing he was doing it. “Because I love you, Holly. I know it's fast, we've only been together a few weeks but...”

 

She wasn't able to show the restraint he was and nearly threw herself on him as she kissed him with everything she had, his reflexes quick to wrap around her as he kissed her back. He loved her? HE LOVED HER!

 

“Mmm, I'm going to guess you don't think it's too fast?” Steve quipped between kisses, a smile on his lips.

 

She pulled back, sitting up from her spot, straddling him with her hands on his strong chest again, not even thinking about how naked they both were. “Not too fast if I feel the same way.”

 

His eyes widened. “You do?”

 

“Of course I love you Steve. How could I not?” She leaned in and this time their kiss was slower and more romantic and she let Steve roll them so he loomed over her.

 

“I should have told you before. I don't know why I didn't. The life we have, you don't always know who is going to make it home.”

 

She wrapped her arms around him, tugging him so he lay against her. Being Steve he was a gentleman so he moved himself so he was mostly resting on his side but still wrapped around her as she was wrapped around him and she mentally covered them with the comforter from the bed. Having her mutant gift enhanced by the second dose of serum made things so much easier in so many ways.

 

“I'm always going to fight as hard as I can so we both make it. Always.”

 

“Me too, doll.”

 

**Steve POV**

Steve lay there with Holly, feeling more complete than he probably had any right to be. She loved him too, what a relief! Then again, after everything they'd been through in the short time they'd known each other, he had kind of assumed it.

 

He'd been so relieved when she found Bucky and at the same time it was one of the very few times if the only time he'd been so angry at her. Natasha had told him about Barton all but screaming at her about how stupid and irresponsible she had been to go in alone, considering she hadn't known what state Bucky would be in. He wouldn't have screamed but if he hadn't been so in shock of Buck being right there and remembering him like he did, he probably would have taken Barton's side.

 

It was funny that only a few weeks later, Bucky would end up getting shot in the leg in a heroic effort to protect both her and Pepper from Agent 33. He'd seen some of the civilian recordings of the fight as well as what Jarvis recorded from Holly's contacts and then what he pulled from the museum's closed circuit cameras. He always loved to see Holly fight, the way she moved was like a dance, something he'd noticed the day they met enroute to Bavaria. But seeing her fight with Bucky was something else and it made him strangely giddy. To have his best friend and best girl get along so well was one thing but to have them able to fight well together too was just icing on the cake.

 

Part of him wondered how much trouble the three of them could have gotten into back in the day in Brooklyn. His mother would have loved her.

 

“When we go back, you know I'm going to Washington, right?”

 

He sighed, wishing the real world would leave them alone just that much longer. The moment she'd stepped out of that chamber, healed and further enhanced, he knew it wouldn't be long before she went back to work. But not work as a professor or a profiler or even as an Avenger but as an agent of SHIELD. He knew she'd want to help Coulsen and more importantly, she'd want to personally look into getting information out of Grant Ward who was still recovering from his injuries in a basement cell at SHIELD headquarters under near Loki level security. There was no way he was going to escape this time.

 

“Steve, I have to. For Gina.” She said when he didn't reply. “I have to do something so Hydra can't do this again and to make Ward pay for what he did to her. What he made me do.”

 

“You think Ward was the one who put that thing in her head?” He didn't quite understand how these killswitch things worked but he doubted even an upper level agent like Ward could perform surgery like that.

 

She shook her head. “No. I honestly don't know if he knew about it. I don't think he's as in the know with Hydra as he thinks he is. We can use that against him.” She sighed. “But if he did know about it and used it to his advantage then on top of murder and betrayal, he's a rapist. Gina was in there somewhere and she couldn't do anything to stop him from taking advantage of her brainwashed state for his own use.” Her hand flexed into a fist against his chest. “I'm going to make him pay for that.”

 

“We'll make all of Hydra pay.” He hugged her to him, holding her head to his chest, pressing a kiss to her crown. “We'll do it together.”

 


	54. Chapter 54

**Holly POV**

Coulson didn't even move his head as Holly made her way down the stairs that led to the isolation cell that Ward had been kept in since the incident in New Jersey only weeks before. Once Ward had woken up from his injuries, he only saw people when his injuries from the fight were being attended to just enough to keep him alive. No one spoke to him. They wore special suits with reflective masks so he couldn't even see their faces.

 

She smiled to herself but kept her face neutral as she was able to see him stiffen at the sight of her from his seat inside his cell. She hadn't broken his back like she'd hoped, but it would take a very long time for him to recover. Unfortunately for him, no one really cared if he did or not. Apparently the only thing he'd been asking is what happened to Gina.

 

At May's request, she had gone in without any weapons. Not that she needed any. Ward knew that. He'd actually had had the nerve to lodge an formal complaint about having an unregistered mutant in SHIELD. That complaint had been tossed by Fury. She moved to stand next to Coulson, who continued to watch Ward without a word.

 

After about 10 minutes, the traitor spoke. “Sorry you didn't finish me off, Skywalker? 33 not talking to the precious Avengers either so you thought you'd try where Coulson's failed? Cute. Not going to work though.”

 

Interesting. He had no idea Gina was even dead.

 

A slight raise of Coulson's index finger from where his hand rested on his leg told her to go ahead and talk. It was almost comforting to be doing an interrogation with her old handler again. “I didn't want you dead, Ward. Crippled and maybe eating through a straw for the rest of your life, yeah. Dead would be too quick. Too easy. That's the last thing you deserve.”

 

“Sorry to disappoint.”

 

“No you aren't. I doubt you feel much regret for anything. We have Garrett to thank for that, I'm sure and your parents, such as they were.”

 

“So what, is this where you tell me that I'll get a deal if I talk before 33 does? Or are you going to pretend that she already has and if I want to live, I'll talk too? Ooh or are you going to pretend like everything is over and see what I accidentally spill in a maddened rant about how Hydra will never fall?” He clapped his hands together, rubbing them together in anticipation. “Let Coulson play bad cop. He never gets much of a chance to practice.”

 

Holly chuckled darkly, slowly walking toward the energy shield. Via her contacts, Jarvis told her that as she approached, Ward's heart rate was increasing as was his respiration. He was scared and trying desperately not to show it. He knew she could hurt him without the energy shield being taken down thanks to her mutant ability. She wondered how he would react if he knew that thanks to his Hydra pals she was even stronger now? “Oh Gina isn't talking.” She stopped so she was standing to his right, allowing Coulson to watch his every reaction. “Hydra made sure.”

 

Ward's right eye twitched just a bit. The faintest tell. Confusion. He tried to mask it with bravado. “Then it's just a matter of time before they come for me too. And you won't have the Asset to protect you this time. Tell me, how's Potts doing?”

 

Cute. He was trying to get under her skin by bringing up James and Pepper. Reminding her of what Hydra had done to Steve's childhood friend and vaguely threatening the CEO of Stark Industries. Did he even realize what Pepper could do to him if she wanted? Was he insinuating that Hydra was interested in Pepper?

 

Would they be that incredibly stupid?

 

“Cute, Ward. Cute. Go for any long walks lately?”

 

He pursed his lips. “You aren't going to get anything out of me. Or from 33.” He paused, his pursed look becoming one of rage and disgust, no doubt the only emotions he could actually feel. “Hail. Hydra. Bitch.” He spit the last word, a bit of the saliva sizzling against the energy shield. It was the only real technology in the whole place and was powered by carefully placed solar panels and Stark Industries technology.

 

Interesting. He was sensitive about his injuries. She could understand it herself after New Jersey. She wondered if he was trying to bait her into just killing him. He was dumber than even she thought he was if he thought she had such little control. Did she want to kill him? Yes. But she wanted to take out all of Hydra, not just a little speck like Grant Ward to get some kind of vengeance for all of those he killed or caused to be killed.

 

Killing Ward wouldn't bring Gina back and Holly had vowed that all of Hydra would pay for her death.

 

“I don't know why you keep bringing up 33, Ward. Do you miss her? Are you capable of that or are you just lonely? You haven't seen her or anyone since New Jersey. Or are you just worried that the brainwashing didn't hold? Did Hydra brainwash her as a gift for you since you couldn't have Skye or May? The only way you could ever have a woman is by brainwashing her?”

 

His jaw clenched. “Fuck you. You don't know anything about me or Skye or 33.”

 

She bent down so she was looking him in the eye. “I know more than you think. And I'm in a sharing mood. 33 is dead.”

 

Ward made a dismissive noise through his nose. “Right. And I'm next if I don't talk.” He tilted his head. “Coulson, you really oversold this one. They made her an Avenger with such bad interrogation skills?”

 

Coulson gave the barest hint of a smile. He thought this was an interrogation? “She's not interrogating you, Ward. And she's not lying.”

 

“Whatever. You probably have her in a deeper hole if Hydra hasn't gotten to her already.”

 

“Fine. If you don't believe me, then watch.” The older man nodded to Holly who didn't even need to gesture to use her telekenesis to bring an old fashioned tube television on a cart over with an actual VCR and tape already cued up. It was a defensive measure to prevent anyone from trying to hack any wifi signals from a TV or computer into seeing where Ward was or his condition. Given that he had been captive for going on a third week, Holly assumed that he wasn't as vital as he thought he was to Hydra after all.

 

She stepped back to Coulsen's side, actively not watching or listening to the tape that showed not only the security footage from the museum but that from a recording Jarvis made from her contacts and that of the phones of the civilians. She didn't need to watch herself killing Gina. She'd seen it too many times in her own head, awake and asleep. She wondered how many times she'd been waken from a nightmare about it and not remembered thanks to Steve or Jarvis.

 

Coulson's eyes stayed on Ward but he subtly moved in the chair so that his shoulder just barely nudged her. His way of showing support without showing his cards or the weakness to Ward who was watching the screen as it began to play the scene again. She could hear her own voice yelling for Gina to put it down. Demanding she put the gun down.

 

Using her ability, she applied just a bit of pressure to his shoulder, nudging him back. He raised his finger again in reply.

 

“This is bullshit. You made this up. Do you think I'm that stupid? All of this could be doctored.” Ward spat. “Are you that desperate that you are trying to trick me like some kid? Show me a tape and think I'm just going to give up?”

 

“We're not desperate at all, Ward. You on the other hand?” Coulson leaned forward a bit in his chair. “Do you even know what day it is? How long you've been here?”

 

Ward's jaw tightened. “Two weeks give or take a few days that I was unconscious or whatever. I kept track of your suited nurses and when meals were brought. I don't need a window to tell.”

 

Holly had to admit, she was a bit impressed. Removing the ability to track the passage of time was a time honored technique in interrogations like this. It was one of Nat's favorite things to do to throw a captive off their game. The question was, how had he gotten it so accurate? Coulson knew the real trick was to not have a set schedule for medical care or meals.

 

“Hmm. Not bad. Even with us keeping an uneven schedule?” Coulson asked with a mild tone of interest. He'd caught on to her train of thought as well.

 

Then Holly realized. “Oh I know how he did it.” She scoffed. “He kept track of his own body. Probably has himself trained to shit every 8 hours or something. Unconsciously keeping track of every thousand heartbeats.” He had nothing else better to do. He had nothing to entertain himself with and was being kept in true isolation.

 

Ward gave her a mock nod and clapped his hands together. “Not bad. For a mutant that is.”

 

“Well I figured you had some deep seated issues with your parents and it probably started around the time you were potty trained so of course you'd be fixated on that. Mommy lock you in a closet for having an accident, telling you what a dirty boy you were?” Holly smirked. “Or was that Hydra?”

 

“Whatever bitch. I'm not telling either of you anything. Whitehall held out for what, 70 years without training? Just wait and see how long I'll hold out. I bet I'll last longer than any of your so called agents sadly attempting to rebuild SHIELD. I bet Trip would agree with me. Well, if he was here and not taking up space in a Dustbuster.”

 

“That sounds like an invitation to me.” Holly said, looking down at Coulson, consciously trying not to snap Ward's neck with her mind for even thinking Trip's name, let alone speaking it. It was so very tempting. “He wants to take the Whitehall challenge. Why not let him?”

 

Coulson stood, taking a moment to straighten his suit before he replied, not looking to Holly but to Ward. She was more than ready to use her mutant ability to keep her old handler from potentially trying to attack the traitor. Ward wasn't entirely stupid, he knew Coulson enough to be able to know what buttons to push.

 

“We'll start a pool, see how long it takes him to crack.” Coulson then turned on his heel and headed for the stairs.

She gave Ward a brilliant smile and a wink, just to drive the knife in more and mentally reset the VCR to replay the video of Gina dying. Let him enjoy that tiny bit of distraction before they threw him down a hole like he did to his own brother. “I'm totally in.” She followed Coulson, heading up the stairs to the door that opened onto the near abandoned facility that had been recently found and converted for just such a use. There wasn't going to be any mistakes like keeping him at the Playground or anywhere Hydra would expect him to be.

 

Once the series of doors, locks and security were engaged, Coulson's cool demeanor dropped and his fist flew right for a wall, stopping mere millimeters from the brickwork. Holly stepped forward and gently pushed him back with her mind. It was a good thing she knew him so well. “Breaking your hand won't help, Pops.” She said softly, putting her hands over his fist before releasing him mentally. “Breathe. He wants to make you angry, don't let him.”

 

“Not that easy. I hate he knows what buttons to push.”

 

“Everyone has buttons, you taught me that.” She said as they made their way down the hall and through another set of security doors. Everything was old school and was more about physical security verses technological. “Believe me, I wanted to snap his neck for mentioning Trip.”

 

Coulson sighed. “I don't know why we thought we'd get anything out of him.”

 

“Who cares? I think it shows he doesn't actually know anything. And he knows how much time has passed and Hydra hasn't even attempted at all to get him back. He's as good as dead either way.” They went through another set of security doors and then up a staircase that opened into the back of a old West Virginia coal mine that had tapped out back during WW2. “Come on, let's go back to the Playground and get some really unhealthy food to binge on.”

 

“Why not?” They walked for a while, no risk was being taken in having any kind of transport anywhere near the cave to reveal its location. There weren't even roads within an hour's walk of the place nevermind a place for a Quinjet to settle down. There were only three people other than Ward there and they took week long shifts before switching with another three man team. A precaution against too many cooks in the kitchen. “How are you doing with your new super soldier status?”

 

“I'm good, actually. Hank did a great job adjusting it for me. Jean worked with me on not being a Delta level mutant anymore and you know Nat and Clint have all kinds of plans on training to adapt to any other changes.”

 

“I'm glad it worked. Really glad.” He adjusted his tie and took out a pair of sunglasses. Holly didn't have to do a thing, the contacts automatically adjusted and the serum made it so she didn't need to squint against the sun anyway. “I'm sorry you had to go through any of that. You know, part of me felt guilty that I even worked with Stark to bring you back into the game? I mean, first Bavaria and then this?”

 

“And without that, maybe Bavaria would have gone worse. I wouldn't have met Steve, I wouldn't have been able to get to Peggy in time to say goodbye, I wouldn't have been able to get over losing Dad and Eddie and maybe Steve wouldn't have been reunited with James. Gina would still be brainwashed and Pepper could be dead.” She put her hand on Coulson's shoulder. “It was time for me to come back. You knew it and it was a good call. Stop doubting yourself.”

 

Coulson gave her his usual half smile with a shrug. “Your dad used to say that to me, back when I first became your handler.” He paused. “What do you think he'd do with Ward?”

 

Holly thought about it. What would her father have done with a Hydra traitor in the ranks of SHIELD that helped cause the deaths of so many agents? “Just what we're going to do. Throw him down a hole and forget he ever existed.”

 

 


	55. Chapter 55

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A blast from the past....writer's block is awful! Hopefully you like this chapter. Please remember, I don't go exactly by canon or the current timeline....

**Bucky POV**

“Good morning and happy 99th birthday, Sergeant Barnes. Today is March 17th, 2016. Skies are clear as they can be in New York and temperatures should reach 35 degrees.”

 

Bucky yawned and stretched. “Good morning Jarvis.” It was still strange to him to have a disembodied voice waking him up, let alone one that could hold a full conversation, but then again the last 70 years had been nothing but strange. Just the fact that he'd been wished a happy birthday for being 99 years old by a computer, something that was barely imagined before the war made his head spin.

 

He sat up, throwing off his covers and picked up the small device that he was able to plug into his arm, thanks to Stark, to monitor it in case of any issues. “Initiating diagnostic.” read across the screen. While it did that, he looked down to his left leg and saw that nearly any evidence of his bullet wound was nearly gone. There was a small chance he'd have a scar. He wondered absently if it wasn't for the Hydra version of Steve's serum and all the time he spent frozen, what he would really look like as a 99 year old, if he'd even still be alive. None of the other Commandos made it that far.

 

“The diagnostic is complete, Sergeant.” Jarvis announced. “Your cybernetic arm is working within acceptable parameters. Shall I start your shower?”

 

“Yes, Jarvis, thank you.” He swung his legs out of the bed and padded over to the windows that overlooked the city. He was thankful to have such a nice place to live and a bed to sleep in and not a stasis chamber or some abandoned house. “Do I have any messages?” It was still early in the morning, but he preferred the mornings, the feeling of anything being possible.

 

“Yes sir. Agent Barton confirmed your planned practice session downstairs in the firing range. Holly would like to see if you would care to go out into the city with her and Miss Potts for a birthday lunch. Dr. Simmons left a message asking how your leg is feeling and wishing you many happy birthday returns and that Coulson's team will be stopping by sometime this evening or tomorrow for a few days.”

 

That made him brighten up. Jemma was coming? Maybe when he went out with Holly and Pepper, he could see if there was something he could get for Jemma, even if it was his birthday technically. She was a very sweet woman and gorgeous to boot. He never had a chance with her, but that never stopped him before. Except of course with Peggy Carter. She only ever had an eye for Steve.

 

He touched the screen that was part of his window and put through a call over to Steve's apartment. Back in the day, he would have just leaned out the window of his place and yelled over. “Hey punk, you get your old ass out of bed yet?”

 

“My old ass? You think I forgot what day it is and which one of us is older? I'll have you know, jerk, that I've been awake for an hour. Slacking on me?”

 

“Whatever. Want to start cooking me some breakfast while I shower?”

 

The sound of a sigh. “Why do you keep thinking I'm your personal assistant?”

 

Bucky grinned. “No, Steve, I've never thought that. You are however, my bitch.”

 

A groan. “No more hanging out with Barton.”

 

Bucky laughed. “No, that one I learned from Holly. Such a mouth on her. Definitely Peggy's little girl.”

 

A laugh in response. “Yeah, Peggy always did curse like a sailor. I'll see you in 20.”

 

* * *

 

Bucky was happy to hear the sound of laughter when he made his way into Steve's apartment and found that Holly was sitting at the counter, giggling as Steve made a show of flipping pancakes. It was a side of his best friend that he'd never really seen before. Sure, Steve had always been a great guy but not many women were able to see that back when he'd been so small and sickly all the time. Even with the whole Captain America thing, there hadn't been much time for any kind of dating, there'd been a war going on.

 

He remembered how Steve mooned after Peggy and the way he looked at Holly was different. With Peggy, while it had been love, it had been puppy love. It could have been more, maybe without the war. He knew Steve was still mourning the loss of Peggy but deep down he knew his best friend realized that what they could have had was lost before it even began.

 

But Holly? That girl was perfect for Steve. Tough as nails but one of the sweetest dames on the planet. It was obvious just how much she cared about him and didn't care about the image or his fame. Dum Dum and Peggy had helped Baby Liam raise a hell of a woman who understood, unlike a lot of people that behind the shield was a real guy and that real guy wasn't perfect.

 

The last few weeks had been rough, considering everything that happened after New Jersey. He still had a hard time understanding how the additional serum had somehow activated more of her brain and that included the part of the brain that was thought to deal with mutant powers. But if it made him able to survive the train fall and made Steve nearly a foot taller on top of healing all his issues, anything was possible.

 

He just wished that it hadn't been necessary in order to save her from a life of being permanently disabled. He'd had to deal with more than a fair amount of guilt after New Jersey, able to think of hundreds of different ways that he could have personally changed the outcome of what happened so that everyone made it out safe except for the Hydra agents. Barton had advised him to stop thinking that way, it wouldn't change things. “You saved Pepper, you saved Holly. Hydra didn't get what they wanted. That's what matters.”

 

He just wished he'd been able to save Holly from being forced to kill her friend to prevent a slow suffering death thanks to Hydra. He wondered if he'd ever be truly free of them in his life.

 

“Don't let him tell you that he learned to do that himself.” He announced, walking into the apartment. “I taught him that trick to make his mom laugh.” He leaned over and gave Holly a peck on the cheek. “Morning sweet.”

 

She grinned at him. “Morning to you too birthday boy! How's your leg feeling?”

 

“Good. It's almost completely healed. Not bad for not even a month. How are you feeling?”

 

“I'm good. I'm still getting used to having the full dose now and stuff, but it's good. I might have accidentally kind of crushed my alarm clock to tiny bits this morning though. Jarvis was most amused.”

 

Steve shook his head as he dished pancakes onto the 3 plates he had set out. “I did the very same thing when I first got the serum. Not to mention that plate glass window I went through when I was chasing that Hydra agent. It was hard to keep my balance, being able to run like that and being so tall suddenly.”

 

Bucky nodded, not really remembering much about what was done to him. “Remember how amazed you were that I was able to pull you up, when you did that crazy leap in the factory after saving me from Hydra the first time? Doubt I could have done that if they hadn't...you know.”

 

Holly put her hand on his arm. “And strangely, I can say I'm thankful to Hydra because without them, I probably would have never met either of you.” She paused. “Other than that, they can go to hell.”

 

“Thanks, I think.”

 

“So how does 99 feel?” Steve asked, handing Bucky the syrup without even asking if he wanted it. Serum or not, 70 years apart or not, he knew him.

 

“I don't know. I don't look it so I guess I don't feel it? I didn't experience 99 years of life. I was awake more than you were but my brain was wiped like one of those Etcha things a lot too. What are they called?”

 

“Etcha Sketches.” Holly spoke up. “You remember more than you did thanks to working with Xavier. Do you want to go back and see if maybe there's more he can do to help you?”

 

Bucky shared a look with Steve before shaking his head. “No, the professor said that sometimes it's better to let a mind heal naturally and then things will come back to me gradually and not be as much of a shock.”

 

“I apologize for the interruption. Holly, you have a rather frantic phone call coming in from Mr. Nelson. He sounds quite distressed. Shall I put it through?”

 

Nelson, the lawyer? Bucky looked to Steve who shrugged. Holly looked confused too as she spoke to Jarvis. “Go ahead Jarvis.” It made Bucky think of the old days when there actually were switchboard operators except now a beep told them the line was open. “Foggy, it's Holly, what's wrong? What did Matt do now?”

 

“Do you have any idea how difficult you make it to contact you, Pocahontas?”

 

That voice was not Nelson. But the older sounding man's voice apparently was one that Holly recognized and she was up and out of her seat. The tension in her body told Bucky this was potentially something bad.

 

“Stick? Stick what are you doing? Where's Foggy? Did you hurt him?”

 

“I'm right here, Holly. It's okay. Mr...umm...Stick here didn't think he could get through to you on his own.” Nelson sounded scared but not terrified. “And we have another guest. Umm, I'd rather not say his name out loud. Let's just say Matt and I have helped him before?”

 

That person was the one that Nelson was afraid of. Terrified.

 

“This is Steve Rogers speaking.” Steve spoke up, the relaxed tone gone from his voice. He was in Captain America mode. “Third person, can we trust that you aren't planning to harm Mr. Nelson or Mr. Stick?”

 

A chuckle came over the line. “No sir, Captain sir. Red wouldn't forgive me if I hurt the ginger. He wasn't done anything I need to punish him for. Stick and I could use some help, more importantly, Murdock needs some help. You know, off the books?”

 

Bucky looked to Holly who had wide eyes. She grabbed a pad on the table and wrote out the name “Frank Castle” on it. The name seemed familiar but it didn't seem the time to stop everything to ask just who the other man was.

 

“We'll be there within the hour.”  
  


“Do us a favor, Pocahantas, keep this low key? No need for flying suits or not so jolly green giant involvement.” Stick spoke again. “Like my friend here said, off the books.”

 

“Fine. Just hold tight. Foggy, you sure you're okay?”

 

“Yeah, Holly. I'm okay. Just don't dilly dally, you know?”

 

“We'll be there as soon as we can.”

 

Another beep ended the call and both men looked to Holly for what was to happen next. She had been the one they had contacted so she needed to make the decisions.

 

“Jarvis, where are Nat and Clint right now?”

 

“Miss Romanoff and Mr. Barton are in the gym training.” The AI replied.

 

“Okay. Can you please have them meet us in the Armory and make sure the Delta cycles are prepped?” She looked to Bucky and he gave her a nod. He was in for sure. After everything the two lawyers had done in helping clear his record, he owed them. “Five of them please.”

 

“Consider it done.”

 

“Holly, what's going on?” Steve finally asked as she ran her hand through her hair.

 

“I don't know yet. Matt's gotten himself into some kind of trouble that's involving Stick and Frank Castle. He's that guy people call The Punisher. Matt and Foggy represented him a few years ago and he's been a ghost since then.”

 

Bucky's eyes grew. It had to be old age catching up on him that he didn't make the connection when he first read the name. “Wait, that nut that was shooting up Queens? There was a thing in the paper about him I think, a sighting. What is Murdock doing with him, I thought he didn't kill?”

 

“Matt doesn't. He doesn't see it as necessary. Think of Matt and Castle as opposite ends of a seesaw. I'm somewhere in the middle.” The doors opened and the three stepped in. Thanks to Jarvis, there was no need to tell the elevator where to go, he already knew.

 

“Is Stick the guy you told me about that helped train your mother and brother?” Steve asked.

 

“Yeah. Me too. He's an asshole to be sure but he's one of the best fighters. If he's asking for help, it's bad. We have to do this as civilians, not as Avengers.”

 

“I figure I owe Murdock for helping me with the government and everything. I'm in. But do you think Natasha and Barton will help?” Bucky had a decent understanding of Barton's view of Murdock from when Holly had been on the hospital wing and the archer had been rather vocal afterwards. He never forgave the blind vigilante for what he did to Holly after she lost her family, even all these years later. Even after Holly had moved on herself.

 

“I don't know. Worst case, it's the three of us. Good thing is that now that I'm like you two in terms of the serum and my mutant ability is stronger. I'd still like to have them with us.”

 

**Holly POV**

Holly led the way into the building that held the offices of Nelson and Murdock. They had parked the Delta cycles in a vacant lot a few blocks away and then used a similar technology that was used on Coulson's Bus to cloak them before they each took a different route to the offices. They might be in tactical civilian clothes but it always paid to be very cautious. Her mind whirled with what could possibly be going on that would have Stick and Frank Castle involved and working together.

 

“Brought the cavalry with you, didn't you, little girl?” Stick opened the door to the offices like it was his own place, his fighting staff in hand that doubled as a walking stick in public.

 

“Funny thing to say to someone who's half Lakota, old man.” She quipped, almost happy to see the curmudgeon. “You look fat.”

 

“I do? I don't see it.” He quipped back with a wry grin before tilting his head. “If you are going to be a pissy little bitch, Circus Boy, you can leave right now.”

 

Holly looked behind her to see that Clint had his resting bitch face on. He didn't want to be here but was here because she asked him to be. “Clint, please?”

 

The archer sighed. “Fuck you old man. Where's Murdock so we can get this over with?”

 

“Come on inside, we'll fill you in.”

 

Everyone entered the office, Natasha making the rounds with Clint at putting up blocking sensors so they couldn't be overheard or seen by anyone outside of the offices. Sitting behind Karen's desk was a bored looking Frank Castle, his face bloody and Holly's contacts telling her that he was more injured than he was letting on. Foggy stood in a corner with his arms crossed.

 

“Hey handsome.” She greeted softly, walking over to the lawyer. She put her hand on his arm, Foggy always being a rather tactile person. “You okay?”

 

“Not remotely. But I'm better now that you're here.” He said softly. “Thank you.” He looked up to the others. “Thank all of you. Really.”

 

“Problem isn't with you, Nelson.” Clint said in a tight voice. “So you're Castle?”

 

“That's what's written on my underwear.” The man quipped.

 

“Are you going to waste our time, son, or are you going to tell us why we are here?” Steve spoke up. Enroute, Holly suggested the best way to get through to Castle, former military, would be through Steve who was a model and a hero to many like Castle.

 

Castle got up, not as quickly as he may have wanted and stood as close to attention as he could. “No sir. Sorry sir.”

 

“At ease.” Steve said, stepping forward. “How badly are you hurt?”

 

“Nothing I can't handle, sir.” Castle kept his eyes straight but it was obvious to anyone with eyes that he was hurting pretty bad. It wasn't anything he was going to admit to in front of someone he seemed to admire and more than that, saw as a kind of superior officer. Castle might be a vigilante now, but his training was still there.

 

“Clint, can you?” Holly asked. Of all of them, Clint was the best medic. She doubted there'd been enough time for Stick to teach Castle how to meditate and heal his own body. Part of her wondered if the man would be capable of meditation given his past.

 

He sighed and nodded. “Come on, sit down and let me take a look at you.”

 

“Okay, Stick, what's going on? Where's Matt?”

 

“Matty is doing what he does best, the most stupid self sacrificing thing he can out of guilt for the past.” The man said with a frustrated sigh. “Dumbass.”

 

“There was a mutant girl in the neighborhood, Zoey, she'd been getting harassed by people to the point she was locked up in her house.” Foggy spoke up. “Matt found out about her or I should say he found out about Mr. Stick here finding out about her and his plans to train her, I guess.”

 

Holly raised a brow. “What are her abilities?”

 

“Pyrokinesis.” Stick said bluntly.

 

“She was outed as a mutant?”

 

“She can't hide it. Instead of eyes, she has flames and her hair is something akin to plasma.”

 

Holly sighed, leaning against Karen's desk while Clint wrapped Castle's ribs and Natasha cleaned up a slash to his arm. “Why not send her to Xavier? Matt's done that before for mutant kids in the neighborhood.” She should know, she introduced him to Xavier when the professor had made a trip to the city to speak at Hudson University about mutant rights.

 

“Easier said than done, little girl. The Hand found out about her. Wanted to use her. Made use of the local bigots to isolate her to make it easier to grab her.”

 

“Friends of Humanity?” Steve spoke up, his hands clenched at his sides. “Why didn't you contact us sooner?”

 

“Because I had it handled until the bigots went and killed her father who thought he knew better than I did. Turns out, he used to be a Marine like this asshole.” Stick nodded to Castle who simply grinned and flipped off the blind man.

 

“Mr. Castle, is that what brought you back?” While having Steve use his “fame” to keep Castle in line was good, showing him respect was a useful tool as well. He probably wasn't used to it with more than one person still thinking of him a monster for his actions in the Kitchen when Matt and Foggy first encountered him.

 

“Just Frank is fine.” He grunted as Clint nonchalantly popped his arm back in. “Marty was a good buddy, wasn't afraid to defend me when I had my problems a while back. Little Zoey, didn't deserve to lose her daddy like that.”

 

“So what happened after that?”

 

“I contacted Matty because I figured he'd be able to get through to you. Again, he thought he knew better and thought that between the three of us, we'd be able to protect her until we could get her and her mom out of the city. And then everything got fucked up by even more people butting their noses in and thinking they knew best how to protect the girl. Friends of yours, not of sunlight.”

 

Holly closed her eyes and let out a breath. “The Morlocks took her?” Since she'd been back in the city, she'd been keeping her ear open for any word on the refugee/renegade mutant community that lived under the city. Then again, she'd been rather preoccupied with Hydra, Steve, losing Peggy and Tripp and finding James. She should have known about this girl and been able to get her out before any deaths happened. Stupid!

 

“The who?” James spoke up.

 

“The Morlocks are a mutant community that live in the tunnels under the city.” Natasha spoke up. “They aren't anti-human but they aren't fans of top dwellers as they refer to the rest of us. What made them suddenly decide to take her?”

 

“The death of Marty. Somehow they were watching us without us knowing, I don't know. There was a group of six that came for her, claimed humans couldn't protect her like they could. Wouldn't even let her mother go with her.” Castle sighed, absently holding his hand to his side. “I can take out an entire gang without breaking a sweat but when it comes to powers and shit? I've got nothing. All this? Done by a girl who pulled bones out of her skin to fight with. She cut me with her bones.”

 

“Marrow?” Clint spoke up. “Wow, I haven't thought about her in forever.” A smirk took his lips. “She's a good fighter, we tried to convince her to go to Xavier's but she wouldn't go. Was there another woman with dark hair? Strong and fast?”

 

“Yeah. She took out the old man.” Castle said with an amused grin.

 

“She didn't take me out, shitheel. She kept me distracted so the others could grab the girl.”

 

“Callisto. She's still their leader it sounds like. So then what happened?”

 

“What do you think?” Stick said, cracking his neck.

 

“The Hand showed up with the FoH, kept you from following the Morlocks?”

 

“And if they find their way to the home tunnels, they could easily take the girl and wipe out an entire community of mutants that no one knows about.” Clint added. “Shit. So where's Murdock then?”

 

“He knew an alternate way to their home, wanted to stay on the trail so we didn't lose track of the girl. I brought Castle back here, called you. Figured with you back in the city, you could get back to cleaning up Matty's messes, maybe save some lives.”

 

“Don't blame him, he was trying to do the right thing. Hopefully it doesn't get him killed. We need to get down there before an all out war erupts. Jarvis, can you contact the Institute, fill in Xavier? He might be able to send us some back up. The Morlocks are more likely to work with fellow mutants than anyone else. Also, contact Coulson and Maria. We're going to need medical supplies, food, clothing, the works.”

 

“The standard relief package?” Jarvis' voice intoned. Since everything in Afghanistan, Tony had become much more of a philanthropist and now instead of dropping missiles and bombs, he had drones that bought supplies and equipment to struggling areas.

 

“A couple of them. We don't know how big the community is anymore or what they'll need.”

 

“Should I alert Sir?”

 

“No, not yet. Let's see what's going on first. Let Bruce know, he might have some input on medications and equipment.” She stopped and looked at the group assembled. Two nearly century old super soldiers, a nearly as ancient blind warrior, two former assassins, a trigger happy vigilante and her. This was going to be interesting.

 

“Wait a second, what do I do?” Foggy asked. “Can I help?”

 

Holly stopped and moved back to the ginger, handing him a communicator that was a mini-Jarvis. “You can help Jarvis coordinate with Xavier and Bruce with the supplies. Stay here and stay away from the windows. If things get hinky, get out of here and get to the Tower.”

 

“Wait, where's the girl's mother? You said the Morlocks wouldn't let her go with her daughter.” Natasha spoke up.

 

“Our associate, Karen, she's got her at Matt's apartment.”

 

Holly turned to look at her old friend, speaking in that silent way that old friends do. Matt's place was good for defense, it had rooftop access. “What do you think? Jarvis controlled suit?”

 

“You haven't exactly been using the suit that Stark gave you, Hols. Didn't he add cloaking to it?” Clint added.

 

“Pocahantas, can we get a fucking move on please?”

 

“Shut up Stick.” Holly snapped. “Yeah that'd work great. Jarvis, you up for some bodyguard work?”

 

“I already have the Iron Jedi assembling at the Tower. I will contact Miss Page to alert her of my arrival.”

 

“Thanks Jarvis, you are the best.” Foggy spoke up.

 

“Of course, Mr. Nelson.”

 

“Ok, now I think we're ready. Frank, are you good to fight?”

 

“Always, ma'am.”

 

“Good answer.”

 


	56. Chapter 56

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please keep in mind I do not go according to canon, hence the MCU actually having mutants. This is my version of the Morlocks and their home and that's based on when they made their first appearance back in the 80s during the Phoenix Saga. Think of this story like....a goulash of the MCU, Netflix series and the comics....kinda.
> 
> Anyway....here's the next chapter!

**Steve POV**

“Holly, why are these people living down here of all places? I thought Xavier took in any mutants who came to him?” Steve asked as they made their way to the tunnels that were under control of the Morlocks. This was definitely a part of New York he'd never thought he'd see and wished he wasn't. They were in tunnels, not the sewers thankfully but that didn't exactly help the damp musty smell. He imagined that shelter was shelter but to decide to live here of all places baffled him.

 

“He does but for many of these mutants, they've experienced nothing but hatred for the fact that their powers manifested at birth or because of the way their mutation affected their appearance. I hate to say it but there's bigotry within the mutant community just as much as there is from non mutants. Not every mutant gift is a useful or easy one to deal with or look at.”

 

“Like what?” Bucky asked.

 

“Well you met Anna when we were at Xavier's. She has no powers, she's just got larger eyes and purple skin. She can't blend in with normal humans and that makes it harder for any mutants trying to keep a low profile if she interacts with them. If there's anyone trying to pass, being seen with her or someone like her is a risk to being outed. If it wasn't for the rich family he was born into, Warren Worthington might be down here with the Morlocks. Giant feathered wings aren't easy to hide.”

 

“But Dr. McCoy isn't here. Or that other blue guy, Kurt? We met a few mutants who are obviously mutants and they aren't here.”

 

“Hank wasn't always blue and furry. Kurt is able to hide his appearance with technology. What makes someone decide to live with the Morlocks doesn't always make sense. But the Friends of Humanity are counting on those bad experiences to make them react in a way that will make more people hate mutants and the Hand are just using them for their own means.”

 

“We had a guy, when I was in Afghanistan, he was outed. Somehow he got through all the screening that keeps mutants out of the military, I don't know how.” Castle spoke up from his position watching their six. Natasha had brought extra earpieces for Stick and the man many now knew as Punisher. “He was like you, ma'am. He could blend in. He wasn't even dangerous.”

 

“What was his gift?” Steve asked.

 

“He could mimic voices? Like absolutely perfectly in every way, language too.”

 

Steve heard Natasha sigh along with Holly. They both knew how this story was going to end and after their encounter with the bigots back in December and the reaction to Holly's outing, he knew too. “What did they do to him?”

 

“Nearly beat him to death. He saved his unit and mine, tricked the Taliban by copying their voices, fooling them when they thought they'd gotten all of us into a trap. We would have all died if it wasn't for him.” Castle said. “They nearly killed him, the same guys he bunked with and everything for months. I think he's in Leavenworth now, I dunno.”

 

“For what? He saved his unit.” Bucky spoke up, a bit of anger in his voice. Steve couldn't help but smile a little. He could easily imagine that in a different circumstance, if he and Buck had been there when the mutant man was being threatened, they would have stood side by side in his defense.

 

“For lying about his mutant status. If I had been a professor pretty much anywhere except California, New York or Massachusetts when I ended up outing myself, I would have been arrested for the same thing.” Holly said sadly. “When we get back topside, I'll talk to Coulson. Maybe we can get him out.”

 

“I'd appreciate it, ma'am. He deserves better than what he got.”

 

“So did you, Frank. Don't think otherwise. Thank you for wanting to help Zoey and Matt.”

 

Steve turned his head in time to see Castle at the back of their group give Holly a casual salute. The man probably wasn't used to being thanked.

 

**Holly POV**

Holly stopped when she saw the third hidden sign and held up her hands to the others. “We're here.”

 

“I don't see anything.” James said confused, looking around the small anteroom that was just like a dozen others they'd passed through in their journey through the tunnels.

 

“I thought that was my line.” Stick joked. “She's right, we're surrounded, about 10 different mutants. This is your rodeo, kid. What's our strategy?”

 

“Everyone lower your weapons. We don't want them to see us as a threat.”

 

“Ma'am, that's bullshit. They attacked us trying to protect the girl, what would stop them now?”

 

“The fact that she was the one who brought you here, Castle.” A woman's voice came from above them. Holly recognized the voice and used her ability to force the others to lower their weapons, raised by instinct. “Actually using your gifts, Holly? I'm shocked.”

 

Holly took a deep breath and looked up to see Callisto sitting on a ledge above them. A lean rough looking woman who could easily pass like Holly could for being anything but a mutant but chose not to and had become leader of the Morlocks. “We aren't here to trade barbs, Callisto. Where's Daredevil and the girl?”

Callisto easily made the leap down to them, landing a few feet from Steve and Holly hand to concentrate to hold back James and Natasha from moving to defensive positions. “You brought humans here? Do you think that little of your fellow mutants?”

 

“Ma'am, we're not here to endanger or threaten your people but to help you.” Steve spoke up with a respectful tone. “And to retrieve our friend and bring the little girl home to her mother and then to safety upstate.”

 

“Captain America himself.” Callisto said with a smirk, moving forward, looking Steve over with a critical eye. “I know your story. How strange it must have been for you to wake up and find out about mutants on top of everything else. Did it horrify you to discover a world with such freaks?”

 

Holly took a breath to keep from saying anything and gave the slightest shake of her head to the others, Stick no doubt knowing from her heartbeat that it wasn't a threatening situation.

 

Not yet anyway.

 

“I was horrified.” Steve confessed. “I was horrified at the prejudice that these people with amazing gifts went through every day. I know what it's like to deal with bullies who go after you based on what you look like, I was dealing with them before you were born. You are wasting our time and yours. Your people are in danger and we're here to help.”

 

Callisto stared Steve down for a long moment before turning to Holly. “I'm guessing the lawyer wasn't lying about the Hand or the anti-mutant hicks coming?”

 

Holly shook her head. They had to either have telepaths or Matt had been unmasked. “No and it's going to be bad. The Hand thinks nothing of sacrificing all their people to get what they want. Stick has been fighting them for decades. They are no joke. Please, Callisto, you need all the help you can get.”

 

“Fine.” She turned to the other mutants who'd stepped out to watch the exchange. “Get out into the tunnels, check our traps and every pathway. Get the children to safety.” She looked to Holly. “Let's go see your lawyer.”

 

* * *

 

“What the hell did you do to him?”

 

Holly turned her head to see Stick with his head tilted and his old withered looking but strong hands holding on to his staff like it was all that was keeping him from launching himself at Callisto who'd led them to where Matt was being held and then simply walked away. He'd been captured by the Morlock equivalent of a picket line. “Stick?”

 

“It's Matty. They beat the hell out of him but it's more than that, there's something wrong. He smells wrong.”

 

Holly moved to the door of the makeshift cell and stopped for a second at the sight before her. Matt looked like he'd gone a couple rounds with the Hulk. His mask was off and his eyes were open but that didn't mean anything considering his blind status. Whoever had done this had simply thrown him in the corner like a rag doll and left him.

 

He shuddered and groaned. “No...NO!” The tone wasn't one of anger or pain. No, that was a tone she wasn't sure she'd ever heard in Matt and the look on Stick's face told her she was right.

 

That was fear.

 

She acted quickly, not looking for someone to unlock the door but simply stepping back and mentally yanking it away and nearly into the wall across. She moved into the room, brushing away Clint's restraining hand. They might not know the full situation but she did know Matt wouldn't hurt her. “Matt? Matt it's Holly. It's okay, we're here.” She moved slowly but was quickly confused at how he didn't react to her or the fact that he hadn't reacted before they even got to the room. The Matt she knew would have said something snarky about not knocking first. “Matt?”

 

“I don't think he can hear you, angel. Could he have hit his head? He told me how he had a concussion that temporarily deafened him once.” James spoke up, standing near the doorway the room much too small for all of them together.

 

She reached out and put her hand on his arm and there was no reaction to that. Using the contacts, she couldn't see any head injury that would leave him concussed. “Matt? Matt it's me.” She moved to touch his face, moving hair out of the way and there was still no reaction, like he didn't know she was there.

 

She turned to look to Stick and only got a glimpse of the old man's confusion when Matt screamed and nearly convulsed suddenly, like cold water had been dumped on him. His cries then became a near chant that he was sorry, it was his fault and no over and over.

 

“Jesus Christ, Red. What happened to you?” Frank spoke up having moved into the room with Clint when Matt had moved unexpectedly. While Clint stayed by her, ready to pull her away if he had to, Frank was holding Matt around the shoulders and noting that the lack of reaction too . “How do we snap him out of this?”

 

“Oh you won't. Not unless I release him.”

 

The group turned and faced a woman in the hallway who looked like every awful thing that could happen to a person but the smirk on what looked like diseased lips told Holly that this was a manifestation of her mutant gene. She wondered absently if this woman had manifested at birth or had grown into looking like this. There was no way someone like her would be able to live a normal life above ground looking like that, nevermind what powers she might have. She seemed nonplussed by the number of strangers around her.

 

“Release him?” Steve spoke up. “From what?”

 

“Oh I have this little Nosey Nancy in a particularly sweet nightmare at the moment. He had so many lovely ones to choose from in that head. Makes sense he dresses up like a devil.” She quirked what Holly assumed was an eyebrow from under a flab of skin. “You are in so many of them. Those are the ones I like the most.”

 

A mutant with some kind of telepathic ability to induce nightmares? “Let him go. Right now.”

 

“Nope. Don't wanna.”

 

Holly lashed out without moving, using her increased telekinesis to slam the unfortunate mutant against the crumbling brick wall. She stood up slowly, trying to reign in her temper rather than what it probably looked like, a menacing movement. “Let him go now bitch or I will fucking make you.”

 

The girl huffed. “Yeah and how would you do that? You're an Avenger. I'm not scared of you.”

 

“Let him go or I will snap your fucking neck to make it happen. DO IT.” She took a step forward while mentally pushing the woman against the wall while adding pressure against her throat to tell her she wasn't kidding. She might not have trusted her telekinesis in New Jersey to perform a killing move but she was a much different woman now. It wouldn't take much effort at all.

 

“You wouldn't.” She choked.

 

Holly was just about to do it when a man's voice came from the shadows. “Actually, she would. Release the Devil, Nightmare. Do it now. You were told not to mess with him. Callisto is going to be very upset with you.”

 

“But, he...”

 

“Caliban said NOW.” The man stepped forward into the ambient light. His pale skin and lack of hair but kind yellow eyes were familiar to Holly but she didn't react to seeing Caliban. Not now, not while this bitch had Matt in the grips of a nightmare that could make him howl and scream in pain and fear.

 

“Fine.” The girl huffed and Matt's horrified chanting suddenly ended with a loud gasp and the room seemed strangely silent except for Matt's near hyperventilating breaths. “Can you let me go?”

 

“She'll be dealt with, Skywalker. I promise.” Caliban said with his gentle voice.

 

Holly paused and then released the woman only to throw her mentally to the floor. “Get out of here before I change my mind.” She turned to see that Matt was not only conscious but had heaved himself away from Clint and Frank and was dryheaving in the corner. “Matt, Matt can you hear me?” She moved back to his side, putting her hand on his back only to nearly be knocked over by the blind and injured man surprising her by almost crushing her in his arms.

 

“Holly? Holly? It's you? Oh god, Holly?”

 

“Shh, it's me. It's okay. It's okay. You were forced into a nightmare. It wasn't real.” She hugged him back the best she could from the awkward position of them both on their knees. This wasn't the first time she'd seen him “wake” from a nightmare, he had a tendency toward them. Unfortunately that seemed to be par for the course in their line of work. “Focus on the sound of my voice. You can hear my heart beating strong, right? You can feel my skin, right?” She touched his face with one hand while moving one of his to the side of her neck so his fingers could feel her pulse. She was very aware they weren't alone and this was probably the closest they'd been to each other since she'd left for California. “Breathe.”

 

He sucked in a gasping breath, his whole body shaking while tears streamed from his unseeing eyes. “I...you were dead. You kept dying. It was my fault. It was all my fault. I could see you, really see you. Broken. Bleeding. Oh god.”

 

“I'm not dead Matt. I'm right here with you. Breathe.” Her eyes flicked to Clint who almost looked guilty for his suggestion to let the Morlocks just have Matt to Steve who had understanding in his eyes. She knew he'd had similar dreams about her where she hadn't survived Bavaria. “It's okay. Breathe.”

 

“Listen to her, Matty. Always did listen to women better. Jackass.” Stick sounded tired as he made his way into the room and put his hand on Matt's head, almost ruffling his hair. It was as close to affection as the bastard got.

 

Matt didn't let go of her but his head raised. “Stick?” He tilted his head. “Frank. Steve. James.” Then he paused. “Okay I'm still not right. No way Barton and Natasha would rescue me.”

 

Natasha quirked her lip and Clint rolled his eyes. “We're here to save the girl. You were on the way.”

 

“Is this what your people do to someone trying to protect a little girl?” Steve asked of Caliban, moving to help Holly move Matt to a raised stone area where he could sit.

 

“Mr. Captain, the beating he brought on himself. Caliban finally stopped it. Has a few fans among the boys. Just didn't know when to stay down. As for Nightmare, she will be dealt with. That was her alone. You can leave now.”

 

“No...Zoey.” Matt coughed, wincing. Holly looked to Clint who sighed before nodding to Castle who'd brought the medical supplies they knew they'd need.

 

“We're not leaving without the girl too. She should be with her mother.” Stick spoke up.

 

“Her mother can't understand.” Caliban said with a sad tone. Holly sighed. His own mother had abused him as a child, his outward mutant appearance being one from birth while his actual ability to sense other mutants came later. “Caliban is sorry for what happened.”

 

Holly moved only to have Matt desperately grip at her. “I'm not going anywhere. Let Clint and Natasha bandage you up. Focus on my heartbeat, okay?” She spoke softly, touching Matt's face again to focus him. “I'm right here, safe.”

 

Matt nodded and she stood up and moved carefully the few feet to where Caliban hesitantly stood, avoiding everyone's eyes.

 

“Hello Caliban. I'm sorry this is how we meet again.” She greeted the older mutant who thanks to his mother's abuse and that of humans didn't quite know how old he was. He was close to Tony's age at least. “I'm sorry I was angry. You understand it wasn't at you?”

 

The albino mutant nodded shyly. “Skywalker always nice to Caliban. It is good to see you again. You are stronger now. Caliban has sensed you many times, wanted to talk to you but the sun is so bright, humans so mean.”

 

She held out her hand and the man took it in both of his. His telepathy was very limited but was a bit stronger with skin to skin contact. “I'm sorry I didn't come to see you sooner. Can you help my friend? Do you have anyone here gifted with healing? There are bad men coming, we all need to be ready to fight. We need to protect Zoey. Do you understand?” She focused on the coming threat and that they were here to help.

 

“Caliban understands. Wait here.”

 

He moved back to the shadows and Holly took a deep breath letting her shoulders drop. This was so not how she had planned to spend her day. The familiar feel of Steve's hand on her back made her look up. “He needs you more than anything. Stay with Murdock, let the rest of us focus on the defense. We're going to need him when the time comes.” He spoke softly no doubt knowing full well that Matt and Stick could hear him.

 

She nodded. Matt was in no condition to fight at the moment and worrying about him would have her distracted. She mouthed the words I love you to Steve and gave him a wink before moving back over to where Matt was getting his ribs wrapped. “Matt, I'm right here.” She ran her hand over his hair and he visibly sighed with the relief of her returning.

 

Now the question would be would they all be ready for the fight coming? What was the Hand prepared to do to gain little Zoey? She looked to Stick who despite being blind, looked almost right at her and gave her a confident wink.

 

It didn't help.

 

 


	57. Chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been WAAAY too long since I've updated but if you read any of my other stuff, you'll know that writer's block is a bitch and a half. Kinda got the winds taken out of my sail with the lack of interest in my Supernatural story plus a bunch of real life crap, so my apologies. 
> 
> Here's a new chapter though! And keep in mind that this is not going 100% with the canon or timelines of either the comics or the MCU. It's the Netflix Daredevil but he's been Daredevil alot longer than a couple years. Sophia is my creation, points to who gets the reference. Please comment too if you like the chapter!

**Steve POV**

Steve sighed, sitting down on a bench that had probably been stolen and smuggled into these tunnels years ago by the Morlocks. They'd moved more into the heart of their home, not that he knew what to call it. It wasn't an encampment or a headquarters, it was almost like a small city. It was amazing what these people had banded together and been able to accomplish.

 

Accomplish because they'd been driven from society just because of their genetics.

 

Now he sat on the bench, facing what they had for a kind of clinic while one of their healers worked on Murdock. He'd been confused when what looked like a girl that was barely a teen went into the room but in the 10 minutes that she'd been in there, using her power now made her look almost in her 70s maybe even older. He wondered if she had been ostracized while saving someone just because of how it manifested.

 

He watched as Holly stood there with Murdock, holding one of his hands and no doubt telling him everything was going to be okay, she was right there. The man had been traumatized by whatever the mutant Nightmare had forced him to experience and seemed to only be able to keep a grip by having Holly by his side. Steve felt bad for the guy but part of him wanted to grab her and leave, knowing the past she had with the man. Barton had removed himself entirely and was working with Natasha, Bucky and Castle on how best to defend the Morlock home while the other blind fighter in their company checked on the little girl Zoey.

 

“Here kid, have some coffee. It won't perk you up but I bet old habits die hard even for you.”

 

Steve looked up to see the man he'd just been thinking about, his sightless eyes looking in the completely wrong direction with his staff tucked under one arm and two cups in his hands. “Thanks.”

 

“No problem. One of the kids liberated some of the machines from a Starbucks in midtown a few years ago it seems so they can have something of the outside world here. Mind if I join you?”

 

Steve moved over and the man sat down. They sat for a while, drinking quietly as life moved on around them. He wasn't that surprised to discover that his coffee was made just the way he liked. Holly had told him about Stick being like Murdock in terms of his senses. “Not many people call me kid these days. Not ones who realize I'm older than I look.” He said finally, the silence in addition to watching Holly sitting so close to Murdock driving him round the bend.

 

  
“Yeah well, you spent most of that time in an iceberg or some damn thing from what I understand. In terms of life experience, you are a kid.” He replied in his rough way, taking a sip of what Steve then realized was actually a very fragrant tea. “Figured I'd sit with you in case your growing jealousy led you to want to beat the crap back into Matty there.”

 

“I'm not jealous.” Steve answered automatically. “He was traumatized and she's helping him.”

 

“Yeah but deep down it's driving you crazy, seeing her that close to him again. Can't lie to me kid, I can tell just like Matty can. Who do you think taught him?”

 

“Doesn't matter. I know how Holly feels and I trust her. That's all that matters.”

“Yeah, that's true. Holly's a good girl. How Matty ever caught her eye, I never understood. She was good for him, probably why he fucked it up. The Catholic in him I suspect. You don't trust him though, why's that?”

 

“I don't know him. I respect him, for what he did for Bucky. He's still holding a torch for her after all these years. He can't see but it's obvious he still feels for her, even before whatever that girl did to him.” He paused, not sure why he was being so honest with a man he only just met who went by the name of Stick. “He still calls her love.”

 

“So does Circus Boy, Barton. You trust him though and he had a relationship with Holly. Why's that I wonder? Because he's got the Russian keeping him warm at night?”

 

Steve rolled his eyes even though Stick couldn't see it. It was obvious the man lived to get a rise out of people by saying exactly what was on his mind or what would push the buttons he could perceive of the other person. “He's my teammate. It's different.”

 

“Not by my eyes but I'm fucking blind. Matty's biggest mistake in life was messing up with Holly and he knows that. But you listen to me, he's got more honor in him than a platoon of Marines. More than that, he probably knows better than you or Holly about how she feels for you and vice versa. Don't waste you time with this jealousy shit. Come on, lemme introduce you to some of the people here. We need to prepare for the Hand. I doubt they are like anything you've faced, kid.”

 

Steve sighed and knew the old man, jackass as he was, was right. He spared one last look at the curtained off area to see Holly looking back at him with curious eyes. He gave her a wave and she smiled at him and waved back before putting that hand over her heart.

 

Stick was right, he was wasting time feeling jealous.

 

**Holly POV**

Holly thanked Sophia, the mutant healer who'd used her gift to return Matt not just to fighting strength but probably to a level of health he hadn't been in years. She'd gone from a young girl to a very old woman in that time, just the way her gift manifested. She assured them that she would be just fine in a few hours as she carefully shuffled her way out of the curtained area with the help of Caliban.

 

She wondered what Stick and Steve had been talking about. Whatever it was, Stick hadn't gotten himself hit for his efforts so it couldn't have been too bad. She looked back to Matt who was hesitantly moving his right arm that had been nearly dislocated a look of near wonder on his face. “What is it?”

 

“I've had an ache in this arm for years. I fell on it wrong years ago, going up against some Chinese smugglers. I can't feel it anymore, the ache.” He took a deep breath and cracked his neck once, then twice. “I can't remember the last time I felt this good. How do I look?”

 

He'd been sitting in just the pants of his Daredevil suit and Holly had watched as scars had faded on his chest and arms while Sophia healed him. Some she was familiar with, others had been fresher. There'd been so many. “You look good. Less scarred. Physically anyway.”

 

He gave her a bit of a smile. “I doubt there's a mutant out there who can handle what is in here.” He tapped his head with two fingers. He took another breath. “There are days I can't.”

 

“Yeah, I know.” She said softly, resting her hand on his arm and watching as he closed his eyes with some kind of relief. “Stop thinking about the nightmares. They weren't real, Matt.”

 

He shook his head. “They felt real. Too real except for the fact that I could see. God, I could really see. I don't know if that's because she didn't realize I'm actually blind or something to do with the brain. Whatever it is, I could see.” He paused. “That almost made it worse somehow.”

 

“How's that?” She asked, using her telekinesis to bring over the rest of his suit rather than break physical contact. “Get dressed while you talk, I'm right here.” She moved to rest her hand on his already clad knee.

 

“I know how this will sound, so bare with me.” He paused to pull on the top of his suit before he moved to stand and she sat back. No doubt he was focusing on her breathing and heart rate to keep himself calm. “I've never seen you before but somehow, I don't know, she was able to make me see you. See like you see.”

 

“Maybe it has to do with your senses work, you perceive more than most everyone so maybe that filled in the blanks that allowed it. That and you weren't born blind, part of you does remember seeing. Do I look that much different?” He'd told her once, years ago how he perceived her, how beautiful that made her even to a blind man.

 

His head dropped before he turned, his sightless eyes looking over her shoulder instead of at her face. “I didn't realize that as beautiful as I could sense you to be, you were more.” He reached out and touched her hair before letting his hand drop. “And then I would have to watch you die. Again and again.”

 

She moved forward and took his face in her hands. “But I'm not dead Matt. Focus on that.”

 

“I'm trying.” He said, putting his hands over hers. “Thank you, for staying with me. I know...I know it's awkward and everything. I mean, with Steve and Barton and the past.”

 

“When has anything between us ever been normal?” She chuckled, patting his perpetually stubbled cheeks. “I'm not going to let someone torture you. Natasha would be totally put out.”

 

He chuckled a little, hopefully appreciating her humor. “I wouldn't blame you if you did.” Matt said softly, using his hands to remove hers before he stepped away. “After what I did to you, how I hurt you when you needed me the most.” He sighed. “I honestly wouldn't blame you if you hated me.”

 

“Matt.” She sighed herself, the man better than anyone at beating himself up and considering his line of work, that was a lot of beating. “Matt that was 15 years ago.”

 

“Doesn't matter. The worst moment of your life and I couldn't be there for you like I should have been. No, I couldn't put myself aside and be the man you needed and go with you to California. Support you. No, I couldn't leave the Kitchen. I put a fucking neighborhood over the woman I loved.” He let out a frustrated breath. “Please don't hate me.” He whispered.

 

“I don't hate you.” She said honestly. There was no way she could lie to Matt, not with his senses. And there was no way she would lie to him about this. “I tried. Oh I tried. I put all my grief and rage for what happened to Daddy and Eddie and the others into trying to hate you. Blaming you for how much my heart hurt.” She shook her head, remembering that dark time in her life. “But it was just misplacing the pain from losing them. Did you hurt me? Yeah, you did. But do I blame you for choosing to stay here and protect the city? No, I don't. The city needed the Devil of Hell's Kitchen more than ever after the Towers. It was selfish of me to expect you to just follow me across the country because I couldn't stand to be here anymore.”

 

“You should have been more important to me than the city. I've never been the only one protecting it. Especially then.” He sighed. “I'm sorry, Holly. I'm so sorry.”

 

She moved to hug him then and he easily hugged her back, his arms tight around her. It was strange how almost normal it felt, like 15 years hadn't passed.“It's okay. Shh. I forgave you years ago. Whatever that girl put in your head, whatever she made you think was real or made me say, none of it is true. Okay?”

 

He let out a shaky breath. “I never stopped loving you. I know, I know you don't feel like that for me anymore and I don't expect you to or anything. It's shitty of me to say it but I have to, after watching you die, I can't go into another fight without telling you. I still....I never stopped.”

 

She pulled back only to lift herself mentally a few inches to press a lingering kiss to his forehead. “You will always have a piece of my heart, Matt Murdock and I will always care about you. Even when you are a monumental asshole.”

 

He chuckled as she let herself down and her feet touched the ground again. “And that's most of the time. Steve's a lucky guy. I'm glad you two found each other. He really loves you and he makes you happy. I'm glad, really.”

 

“Thanks, that means a lot. Come on, let's see what we can do to help. I'm sure you want to check on Zoey and see what you can do to piss off Clint.”

 

He grinned then and she could see the man beyond the tortured vigilante. That was the man she'd loved so many years ago. “You still know me so well!”

 


	58. Chapter 58

**Clint POV**

“Mr. Matt!!”

 

Clint looked up from where he'd been looking at the maps of the tunnel system with some of the more seasoned fighters the Morlocks had with Nat. Stick, the old prick, had been introducing Rogers to some of the Morlock children who were preparing to move to a safer area away from where they were going to attempt to funnel the attack. Among those children was the very one that the Morlocks had taken, little Zoey.

 

Now, Zoey dashed across the large open area they were in and Murdock was now healed enough to be able to easily kneel down and catch the child who literally brightened every room she was in with her obvious mutant status. He felt bad for the kid, the way that people would always see her as a mutant first rather than just a person. She was a brave kid though and apparently was adamant on wanting to fight too since it was because of her that the Hand was coming. Rogers had been impressed by that and so had he.

 

The kid was stronger than most adults would be and it shown in her personality. Most people feared Castle but not Zoey. She'd done much like she had just done with Murdock and had run to greet the vigilante, calling him Mr. Frank and hugging him around the neck. Clint wasn't the only one to notice how the child's affection had shaken the man many knew as Punisher. He could slaughter an entire gang without blinking but the affection of a child triggered him emotionally. Barnes had seen it too and had suggested the two of them scout out the best places for defense with some of the Morlocks.

 

“Hey Zoey!” Murdock greeted the little girl, not thinking twice about placing his hand on the back of her head. As it turned out, the plasma she had in place of actual hair was only dangerous when she wanted it to be, something he knew Natasha had been impressed by when the child had been showing them that she could fight and what she could do. He wondered if Natasha saw a bit of herself in the child.

 

Zoey was much younger than Holly was when he'd first met her and they had become partners but her fire, no pun intended, was very similar. Holly had been lucky to be a mutant that could hide her status unlike so many he'd seen and met in the last few hours. How many of these kids had had childhoods with abusive parents like his father just because their genetics were different? How many beatings had he himself gotten when he hadn't been paying attention to his father thanks to his poor hearing? How much had those beatings cost him?

 

Mentally shaking off the bad memories he watched as Murdock talked with Zoey, introducing her to Holly. The little girl was insistent on holding Murdock's hand and just beamed at him. Clint still didn't like Murdock but part of him kind of forgave the guy after today. He could have gotten himself killed going after Zoey but it was the fact that his worst nightmares involved Holly being hurt or killed, that was the kicker. Clint knew those kinds of nightmares, he'd had them about Nat and Holly too many times over the years, especially after everything with Loki.

 

**Bucky POV**

“So I'm guessing you know my story then? Read my file or something?”

 

James looked up from the cup of coffee that had been pressed into his hands by a woman whose apparent mutation was that her fingers were twice as long. At least that's what he could see. They'd just returned from scouting with the Morlock leader Callisto. He'd been thinking about how lucky these mutants were that Hydra hadn't come for them but what a fight they would have given. He was impressed by their defense plans. They weren't perfect but with the help that Steve and the others would give, they could hold out until Xavier's people came. Each person had their job or responsibility as part of the community. It made him think of some of the small villages that the Commandos had helped during the war. “What's that?”

 

Castle leaned against the wall, his own coffee in his hand. “Before, when you wanted me to come with you.” He paused. “You know about my family? My daughter? Did Red tell you?”

 

“Holly did, on the way here. You looked a little overwhelmed with Zoey. I figured you wouldn't want her to think she upset you.”

 

Castle nodded, shrugging a bit. “My girl was like that. I'd come home and she could hit me like a freight train with her hug. Just boom. You know? She could hit harder than a linebacker it felt like.”

 

“My sister Angela was like that.”

 

“I didn't know you had a sister.”

 

“I don't anymore. I mean, I had three little sisters. But they died from TB with our mom before the war. Before this.” He nodded to his cybernetic arm. “They've all been gone about 80 years but I still remember Angie's hugs. It's a good memory.”

 

Castle nodded. “Sometimes it's the good memories that gut you the most.”

 

“Or save you.”

 

“I'm still waiting for that.”

 

“You're here, aren't you? Fighting to help protect the daughter of an old friend?”

 

Castle chuckled, a faint haunted smile on his lips. “It's what my little girl would have wanted. I remember her coming home in tears once, right before I went out on deployment. I asked her, I asked, what's wrong baby girl? I figured, you know, kid stuff. Boy was mean to her or something. You know what she tells me? She saw a little mutant boy get beat up on her way home from school and our neighbor who was walking with her and her own kid, she didn't do anything to stop it. My daughter, she doesn't have a problem with telling her, hey they are hurting him. You know what my neighbor said?”

 

James thought about it, his mind going back to saving Steve's ass too many times from bullies and how many times there were adults right there who did nothing. Of course, there hadn't been many mutants back then. “Doesn't matter, he's a mutant?”

 

Castle tapped his nose. “Yeah. Said he deserved it for being a freak. My little girl, oh that broke her heart. I'm here for her and for that little girl Zoey. She deserves the chance to grow up, to be a woman. To show those assholes coming for her that she's got just as much right as they do to be here.”

 

“Sounds like a good reason to fight.” He paused. “I'm sorry about your family.”

 

Castle shrugged. “Me too. Just one of those things.”

 

**Holly POV**

“I'm sorry this is how we are spending your birthday, cutie.” Holly apologized to James as he took another look at the defense plan they were going to implement in roughly an hour. She wondered if he was thinking the same thing she was. Would it be enough? How many people were going to die in these tunnels over something stupid like ignorant hate?

 

“It's ok, angel. To be honest, I want to be here. To help these people. They shouldn't have to live down here at all.”

 

“Yeah, I know. I hope our plans will be enough to help them. I want to try and get down here more. Talk Tony into letting me take some tech that might help them, especially the medical.”

 

“I'm sure he'd help.”

 

_They will let anyone into the New York tunnel system these days. Cheers, Holly._

 

Holly gasped and turned. “Jono!”

 

James was confused as he watched Holly enthusiastically hug a young man who had what looked like leather scarves secured around his mouth down to his chest. He hadn't spoken outloud and for a moment he'd thought it was Xavier in his head. Who was this guy?

 

The young man pulled back from Holly, the look in his eyes the only way James could tell that the guy was smiling. _My apologies. Telepathy is the only way I can truly communicate. I promise you that I cannot read your thoughts, only project my own._ He held out his hand to James. _The Professor has mentioned you, Sergeant Barnes. It's nice to meet you. I wish it was under better circumstances._

 

He shook the man's hand but was still confused. “Hi?”

 

“James, this is Jono Starsmore aka Chamber. He's one of the professors up at the Institute.” Holly introduced. “Jono's mutant ability of psionic energy unfortunately manifested so strongly that he blasted away much of his face and chest so he can't speak in the traditional way. He helps kids adapt to their powers, especially those who manifested like his did.” She turned back to the young man. “What are you doing down here?”

 

_Charles sends a few of us to try and help some of Callisto's people learn to use their abilities safely but also to try and convince them to at least come to the Institute where it's safer. I try to come as much as I can and I guess I lucked out this time. When I heard you were here, I sent a message upstate. They are on their way here but I don't know if they will make it in time._

 

“We alerted them too before we even entered the tunnels. We'll do what we can with what we have. I'm glad to have you here Jono.” She paused. “This is going to be a bad fight. You know what I mean, don't you?

 

_I do, luv. Killing the Hand while trying not to kill those anti-mutant wankers at the same time. And all the while I have to try to fight and not lose control. Sounds like a brilliant afternoon._

 

“Still got that sense of humor.” Holly chuckled.

 

**Steve POV**

Steve took a breath, his instincts fighting against the pure blackness that the mutant boy known as Void was projecting. It made him feel blind even though he knew he wasn't. He gripped the shield he brought with him and waited. Holly wasn't but a few yards away and beyond that was the Hand and the anti-mutant bigot group known as Friends of Humanity. They'd managed to funnel the attack to this spot, far away from the children and those unable to fight.

 

Now it was a question of trying to end this with as little bloodshed as possible. If Stick and Murdock were right, it wasn't going to be easy. The Hand were merciless. But he would be damned, as he knew the others would agree, if they would get anywhere near Zoey let alone the other children down here.

 

Thanks to his serum boosted hearing and the lack of stealth of what was probably the bigots, he knew the attackers were here even if he couldn't see them.

 

“Stop where you are. Turn back now and none of you will be hurt. None of you have to die today. There is nothing for you here.” Holly's voice rang out as Steve heard more than a few voices of the bigots panicking a little about suddenly not being able to see. Void was doing his job as thought up by Holly and Natasha of depriving them of their sight to throw them off balance.

 

“There's mutant scum down here!” An unsure and foolhardy voice called out.

 

Then, out of the darkness, Holly's lightsaber ignited and Steve was able to see her in it's green light and then even more as one fist began to glow with what she called Force Lightning. “The only scum down here is you. The Hand is only using your stupid bigotry for their own gain. Turn around now.”

 

“Mutie bitch! You can't tell us what to do!” Another bigot called out.

 

A wicked smile graced Holly's lips. “Oh can't I? Who is going to stop me? You?”

 

A shot rang out and Steve almost threw his shield but stopped when he saw the bullet that had been aimed at Holly was floating mid air in front of her. The serum had boosted her ability more than he realized or she'd always been able to stop bullets, he wasn't sure. There were gasps of shock and she let the bullet drop useless to the ground.

 

She waited a moment before she spoke again. “Void, let them see who is going to stop them.”

 

The boy allowed the darkness to drop away and hopefully took off for the secondary defense lines like planned. His ability was a useful one, Steve just didn't like having to use teenagers to fight, even if it was in defense of their home.

 

Now the two sides could see each other and Steve stood up straighter, taking a few steps to Holly's side while Stick and Murdock took the other. Behind them were about 25 of the strongest fighters Callisto had. Both Barton and Castle were hidden as snipers while Bucky was with Natasha, Callisto and the second defense line. His eyes took in the marked difference between the bigots and the members of The Hand who were actually dressed as ninjas.

 

“Leave. Now.” He said. “This is your final warning.”

 

“TRAITOR!!” A voice rang out. “We fight for REAL humans! ATTACK!”

 

The group moved forward and he nodded to Holly who had let the lightning around her fist fade. She took one step forward and shoved her hand out like she was motioning them to stop. Instead, it was like they were hit with an invisible wave, knocking men back and over with cries of confusion and anger.

 

And the Battle of the Tunnels had begun.

 


End file.
